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plusvanity · 1 day ago

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we need those abbarg headcanons.... this is important..... ly<3

Anon, this is marvellous timing because I was just about to post some of them right now before I call it a day lol.

These are very random headcanons from the top of my head. They're more disorganized than my own family and they don't make much sense, but here we go with part 1:

-Olve is the type who regularly takes naps in the afternoon, especially if there's nothing better to do, while Kris can't close an eye during the day for the love of god.

So, whenever he finds Kris reading on the couch, he joins him. He crawls and squishes himself next to his bestie to take a small nap while Kris is reading his LOTR stuff for the thousandth time.

Now, that's actually when Kris likes him the most because he's finally quiet, still and unconscious. The only from in which he can't annoy the fuck out of Vikernes (having him still breathing is quite a humanitarian indulgence though). When he makes sure that Olive had fallen asleep breathing softly onto his neck/ resting his head on his chest he gives him a little kiss, but only then.

-Olve needs 'quality time' with Kris and burning up a hut in the middle of nowhere or blowing up spray cans is cool, but not exactly what he calls quality time. He needs to grab Kris by surprise, throw both of them onto the bed and squeeze the life of Vikernes at his chest for an ounce of love. He's very much a 'touchy' guy while Kris is not, but can Kris actually escape his stupid friend's spontaneous bursts of physical affection? He can try, as he usually does, kicking and thrashing like a devil touched by holy water only to be squished even tighter. Sometimes, he gives up, sighs in frustration and humiliation and allows the impertinent request to be held (but not for long, though). Sometimes, he fights dirty and pocks Olve in his sides to get off him. He really tickles like crazy and only Kris knows that.

-Olve is so freaking teasable (they both are, to be fair)... like, so easy to torment that Kris just loves tormenting/ 'jokingly' torturing him. His best friend is the perfect victim whenever he has a bad day, and honestly, when doesn't Kris have a bad day?

Olve is like a fat cockroach that he would like to crush slowly for pure entertaining and innocent amusement. He loves to pinch his nose, poke him with sharp objects, step on his sneakers, hold his head under the water when he 'offers' to wash his hair, etc. Kris keeps him there head down in the bathtub until Olve starts to make funny noises (he's practically suffocating), and he's giggles in fascination all along. He's obviously not causing serious damage, but if he, himself comes to Olve (at his own will) to 'help him out' with something, Olve knows that's a 50/50 chance he'll either suffer or feel genuinely cared for.

-Kris despises it when Olve grabs his chest like a chick or smacks his ass and he KNOWS that no matter how much he threatens his guy that he'll burn his whole damn Kiss collection to ashes while he sleeps, he just won't stop it. So, to fight being objectified and having his alpha viking masculinity oppressed at all times, he started doing the same thing thinking that an 'eye for an eye' would put a stop to Olve's cavemen tendencies.

He basically started to grab, grope and smash Olve like he fucking 'owns it'. Asserting dominance kind of helped him with his self-esteem (or rather lack of). However, his jaw dropped when Olve told him (with the widest shit-eating grin on his face) 'jokes on you, but I'm into this shit'.

There's just no way of winning with this guy. No way at all.

-to get a hint on how freaking clingy Olve is at times: he gets up at 2 am when Kris randomly needs to go for a piss (he literally 'feels' him leave the bed in his sleep), and he follows Vikernes into the bathroom, clinging to him like a sack of potatoes. And if that's not embarrassing enough, he even holds Kris' wiener while he just goes for his piss. Kris just stopped shooing him away after countless failed attempts. Then they return to bed, and he holds Kris like a human sized teddy bear through the night. (Nothing gay about it. They're 'just bros')

-Kris adores to mess around with Olve's amp settings and pedals because it's so funny to see him panic when he realizes that his favourite sound is fucked and doesn't remember his own damn settings

-one time Kris did his full hair treatment routine on Olve just for the hell of it. He used his top-notch conditioner, hydrating hair mask and expensive shampoo on his best friend ONLY to be infuriated at the end of how gorgeous Olve's hair looked compared to his own. He's also jealous like fuck that he's spending a fortune on hair products while Olve is basically washing his head with dish soap and has the volume of a lion every single day through the year.

-Olve has existential questions at 2 am just when Kris is finally about to drift off. That's when he asks him shit like 'would you still love me if I were a frog??' and Kris sighes and tells him a direct 'no' then, a bit of silence follows, then Olve starts again with 'but-' and then Kris cuts him off with 'just shut up and go to sleep already'. Olve does, but he sleeps with a broken heart afterwards. Every night, it's the same damn question but different animal, vegetable or tree. Kris just learned to automatically say 'yes' and spare himself of further questions and headaches.

Enjoy 🫶

#ask response #varg vikernes #abbarg #olve eikemo

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plusvanity · 1 day ago

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