poetry4hobbits-blog

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mind stats you should dump depending on what class you play in dnd

barbarian: honestly any of them, but that’s irrelevant because barbarians are designed to have those stats dumped we gotta get into the Real hot takes

bard: listen most people would say wisdom BUT you should dump intelligence. be an idiot who can talk real good

cleric: dump charisma. live out your low charisma dreams. you have Good Plans but nobody listens to you because you cant talk well. be cassandra

druid: dump intelligence!! live out your woodsy dumbass dreams!! you know that leaves exist maybe!!!!

fighter: dump wisdom. be reckless. punch a guy. punch TWELVE guys. get kicked out of a bar. get into fights and then get Out of them

monk: listen monks are supposed to be spiritual and knowledegable  shit but u know what? dump intelligence. be dumb punch shit

paladin: dump charisma. make your god hate you with how bad you talk to people. smash things with your holy light and shitty social skills

ranger: again, dump charisma. animals > people. eat leaves and weird people out

rogue: dump wisdom baby!! you got +7654354678 to stealth and nobody can Stop You from being impulsive if they dont know where you are

sorcerer: dump intelligence or wisdom. in fact, dump both. talk yourself out of any situation you get into because ur reckless and dont know shit

warlock: same fuckin thing, dump intelligence and wisdom. have a good time. u dont know how u got into ur pact and u probably dont care because now youve got sick magic powers

wizard: dump wisdom!! sure ur super smart but somebody could be 25% behind a rock and u wouldnt see em! blast spells at a moments notice!!! live ur dreams!!!

[poetry4hobbits-blog]

Halves

My group was creating a name for their guild.

Bard: We have decided on the name “The Half Covenant”.

DM: … Any reason why you went with that? Just curious.”

Bard: “Because we’re all halves. I’m a halfling.”

Ranger: “Half elf.”

Barbarian: “And I’m a half orc.”

Dm: *Turns to the human rogue* “What half are you?”

Rogue: “Competent.”

[poetry4hobbits-blog]

I'm not even Southern.

Reblog if you say "Y'all"

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wakey wakey eggs and bakey

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hey before this app gets shut down completely does anyone wanna fuckin uhhhhh fall in love together or smth?

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*young republican voice* i don’t see why my rich, rich, rich rich rich, rich rich rich rich, so fucking rich, father should have to pay for poorer boys school lunches. he could spend that money on a racism machine

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The most exciting thing about flirting with disaster is that she occasionally flirts back.

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girlfriend: babe come over

Me: i can't i'm climbing up nearly 90 degree slopes to reach salt deposits on the mountainside

girlfriend: my parents aren't home

Me: i crave that mineral

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In Iceland, books are exchanged on Christmas Eve, and you spend the rest of the night reading. People generally take their books to bed along with some chocolate. How cozy and wonderful does that sound? (More fun facts: Iceland publishes more books per capita than any other country, and new books are typically published only during the Christmas season—the frenzy is called Jólabókaflóð, or the Christmas Book Flood.)

(via ffordefans)

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An ode to Shnozberries

Shnozberries You taste like Shnozberries which is nice, I think.

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trying to find someone you like who likes you back

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You’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness.

I really needed to hear that right now. (via halluzinogen)

This hits close to home right now.

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Fucking right! sing it girl!

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Calm down Satan.

So my dad has this new idea: Take this wonderful wasabi thing

Turn it into beautiful, small rectangles, wrap it in laminated paper and put it in a trident box, so that it’ll look like this:

Give it to someone when they ask you for gum and watch as their mouth burns. Enjoy.

[poetry4hobbits-blog]

Dealing with Depression

Step One: Wake up sometime in the late afternoon and avoid making eye contact, especially with the face on the other side of the mirror that only serves to remind you that you are worthless. Step Two: Eat something, anything, and try to keep it down this time, just because you wouldn't want anyone to see the fact that you're secretly falling apart inside, again. Step Three: Don't think about the emptiness sinking deeper and deeper into your chest, bury ot so deep it will never surface, even if you can never bury anything deep enough to keep your eager mind from finding it. Step four: Don't talk about it, because in the end nobody REALLY cares how you feel outside of hearing 'Just fine'. Step Five: Chain smoke some may see it as an outward cry for attention even though all you really want is to die. Step Six: Just. Don't. Fucking. Do. it. No matter how badly you want to. SUICIDE IS NOT AN OPTION. Step seven: When you just can't take the psin of living any longer, when you think you are at your breaking point, reach out to someone, anyone I promise if you talk about it, you will feel SOOOO much better. Step Eight: Seriously, suicide is NOT an option.

[poetry4hobbits-blog]

The Mage's Hand Amulet This old symbol often easily confused with the 'Hand of Glory' but is actually more simliar than most would like to admit, as the 'Mage's Hand' is typically used to avoid others from acting against the Caster's will. Where as 'The Hand of Glory' is traditionally considered a very dark form of magick; and for good reasons as the creation of this object uses the left hand of a man hung for being a thief and stuffed with a black candle before the hand is preserved. (Although the method of how this is done is a matter of speculation at best.) 'The Hand of Glory' is used to make people unable to act against a pickpocket (Typically the bearer of the talisman) by lighting the candle. And this is the difference between the 'Hand of Glory' and the 'Mage's Hand'. If this is well recieved I may post more, but let's see how it goes.

[poetry4hobbits-blog]

Yes. So. Very. Much.

Become a figure skater they said

you will be graceful they said