Text
Track Record || C.S.C

đď¸pairing: f1 racer!choi seungcheol x motorsport journalist! reader
đď¸genre: enemies-to-lovers, fluff, smut (protected sex, too much kissing) MDNI
đď¸wc: 12k
(a/n): glad to be part of @bella-feed 's and @sanaxo-o 's 100 follower event thankyouuu calli ( @hhaechansmoless), daisy (@flowerwonu ) and cel (@mylovesstuffs ) for beta-ing <33. im really sorry for delay in posting this:( this fic was inspired by anyone mv and and way to many carlos edits on my feed. even though this was beta read by 3 wonderful people, i still apologize if there are any mistakes in here:(( ive just started getting into f1 thanks to calli ;) so im just getting used to everything haha so people familiar with f1, overlook any inaccuracies <33 also quite poorly written smut jskjdsks
Let me know what you thinkâcomments and reblogs mean the world! đ
IF YOU AREN'T TAGGED IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S NO AGE INDICATOR IN YOUR PROFILE OR ARE UNDERAGE ____
The engines roared like a war cry, low and guttural and impossible to ignore.
You stood just beyond the garageâs shadow, notebook in hand, watching the blur of red and black cut through the curve of the track like a blade. The pit crew moved around you in practiced choreographyâheadsets, tools, nerves strung tight like violin strings. The summer heat pressed into your skin, clinging, relentless, and the scent of hot rubber and fuel settled in your lungs like memory.
You hadnât been trackside in nearly a year.
Not since that article.
Your fingers tapped the edge of your notebook as you watched the car scream down the straightaway and finally slow into the pit lane. The tires hissed as they met concrete. Seungcheolâs car rolled to a stop just in front of the garage, perfectly aligned. Within seconds, the crew rushed in. The car was wheeled back smoothly, swallowed into the organized chaos of the teamâs station.
Then the driver stepped out.
You didnât need to see his face to know it was Choi Seungcheol.
He moved like someone who was always one second away from sprinting, every motion lean and charged with purpose. His helmet came off slowly, and he ran a gloved hand through his hair, the kind of move that would look cocky on anyone elseâbut on him, it seemed natural. Like arrogance was something heâd been born with. Worn into his skin.
He didnât see you yet. Thank God.
You exhaled, forcing your shoulders to relax.
âJournalist from Velocity Weekly, right?â a voice beside you asked.
You turned. A crew assistant, barely older than a rookie, offered you a bottle of water and a tight-lipped smile. You nodded.
âYeah. Just here to observe.â
âFor now,â he muttered. âThey didnât tell him.â
You blinked. âTell him what?â
âThat youâre embedding for the season. He thinks heâs just getting a fluff piece.â
Your stomach dipped slightly. Of course they hadnât told him. Of course the team thought it was better to deal with the fallout after.
Your article had shaken half the circuit and nearly ended his season. It hadnât been personalâit was rather brutal. Honest.Â
You could still remember the headline: Golden Boy or Time Bomb? The Truth Behind Choi Seungcheolâs Fall From Grace.
You hadnât seen him since.
Not in person.
But now, here you wereâassigned to shadow his team for the next three months. For better. Or for much, much worse.
A nearby cheer pulled your eyes back to the pit, just in time to see Seungcheol peel off his gloves and hand them to a technician. He was laughing, relaxed. A flash of that famous smile.
Until his gaze swept the garage.
And stopped. On you.
His smile faded.
The air between you crackledânot explosive, not yet. But heavy. Dense with unsaid things.
You didnât move.
Neither did he.
And then, as if it meant nothing at all, Seungcheol turned away.
But his jaw was clenched and his hands balled up into fists.
You stood still, your pulse thrumming in your neck as Seungcheol walked away, not sparing you another glance. The weight of his dismissal pressed against your chest like an invisible hand, but you forced yourself to breathe through it.
The pit crew had gone quiet, some of them catching the tension between the two of you. You heard a quiet murmurâprobably a few people betting on when heâd finally explode at you.
Your eyes didn't follow him, but you couldn't help the way your gaze flickered in his direction every few seconds. His broad shoulders moved through the crowd with an ease that only someone used to commanding attention could possess. There was no denying the kind of presence he hadâone that filled up a room, even when he wasn't not speaking.
He disappeared into the building, heading for the changing rooms, and your stomach tightened.
The silence that followed in the garage felt too loud. You busied yourself by scribbling something that wasn't really a note just to have something to do with your hands. Something that made you feel in control, even if you weren't. Not here.
Not with him.
You didn't follow. You didn't need to.
Because five minutes later, you were being ushered down a narrow hallway by Seungkwan, the PR manager, who had been buzzing with nervous energy since you arrived.
He kept glancing at his phone and muttering about timing and contracts,â God! he's going to kill me.â
You assumed he meant Seungcheol. You were right.
You rounded the corner near the back exit just as Choi Seungcheol pushed open the locker room door. He was freshly changedâ black joggers, white team tee, towel slung around his neck, water bottle in hand. His hair was still damp.
He stops when he sees the two of you.
Stops like his day just got infinitely worse.
And when his eyes flick to you, there it is againâbarely restrained irritation. His lips press into a flat line. His jaw tightens. You almost felt bad for whoeverâs about to speak to him.
Almost.
âCheol!â Seungkwan chirps, voice way too bright for the tension coiling in the air. âHey, I was just coming to find you.â
He nods toward you like itâs no big deal. Like heâs not standing between two people who share history sharp enough to draw blood.
âI figured itâd be better to rip the Band-Aid off.â
âYou remember Y/N, right?â Seungkwan continues, gesturing to you like this is a reunion instead of a landmine. âSheâs going to be shadowing the team for the next three months. Full-access feature for the Velocity Weekly docuseries.â
âPart of our image rehab strategy, you knowâTransparency. Redemption arc. All that jazz.â Seungkwan kept flailing his arms even though both of his hands are fullâone holds a notepad, the other holding his usual iced americano
Thereâs a beat of silence. Then Seungcheol exhaled through his nose, sharp and slow.
âRight,â he says, voice flat. âA redemption arc.â
He finally turns to you fully, eyes cold, calculating.
You give him a polite smile. Not out of kindness. Out of pride. Control. Survival.
âIâm not here to stir up old drama,â you say quietly.
âGood,â he replies. âBecause thereâs nothing left to stir.â
He looks at Seungkwan. âIs that all?â
The manager stammers something about schedule sync-ups, but Seungcheolâs already walking past. Not a glance back. Just the soft crunch of his sneakers against the tile floor as he disappears around the corner.
You donât breathe again until heâs gone.
âGreat,â the poor guy mutters beside you. âThat couldâve gone worse.â
You donât correct him.
Because you knowâit will.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
The room is too bright.
One of those generic media rooms with foldable chairs, beige walls, and nothing on the table but a bottle of water and a stack of branded cue cards you wonât use.
You sit with your back straight, microphone clipped to your collar, and your notes in your lapâ clean, annotated, rehearsed. A thin layer of sweat beads at the nape of your neck, but you donât lift a hand to wipe it. You canât. The cameraâs already rollingâthey wanted to film Seungcheol's âcandid entryâ.
Seungkwan stands just off to the side, behind the lights. His arms are crossed over his clipboard, eyebrows furrowed like heâs praying for divine intervention.
You donât blame him.
Because Choi Seungcheol is late.
By twenty-seven minutes and twenty-nine seconds.
He finally walks in on the thirtieth.
No apology. No hurry.
He moves like heâs strolling into a locker room, not a filmed, pre-scheduled interview. Freshly showered, in a black team tee and dark joggers, with a silver chain around his neck that flashes under the lights. Hair damp and pushed back. Jaw tight.
He doesnât look at you. He doesnât have to.
The tension snaps into place the second he enters, taut and quiet like a wire stretched between you.
He drops into the chair across from you and spreads his legs slightly, elbows resting on the arms of the seat. A casual posture, but there's nothing relaxed about him. He leans back like this is a waste of his time. Like you are.
A staff member leans in to clip the mic to his collar. Thereâs no need for instructionsâhe lifts his chin just slightly, giving them easy access, his posture relaxed but deliberate.
âRolling,â the cam op calls.
The little red light on the camera starts blinking. You shift your expression to something neutral, polite. Not fake â just professional. Safe. Itâs the one you wear when youâre working. When youâre speaking to men who want to dismiss you before you say your first word.
âWeâre here with Choi Seungcheol, lead driver for Team SVT,â you say clearly. âThanks for joining us today.â
His eyes cut to you, finally. Slow, sharp.
âDidnât have much of a choice,â he says smoothly.
You donât let your smile falter. âStill, weâre glad youâre here.â
âSpeak for yourself,â he mutters, but itâs low enough that the mic doesnât catch it..
You glance down at your notes, fingers clenching slightly around them.
âIâm told youâve had an impressive off-season.â
He shrugs, eyes flicking toward the camera. âTrained. Drove. Same as every year.â
You make a soft, acknowledging hum and tap your pen against the margin of your page. âDo you feel like youâre coming into this season with something to prove?â
That does it.
His head tilts just slightly. The corner of his mouth liftsâ not into a smile. Into something cooler. Controlled. âTo who?â
You lift your eyes to meet his. âThe media. The fans. Yourself.â
The air in the room shifts. It tightens.
For a second, he doesnât respond. Just sits there, staring at you like heâs trying to read a headline written behind your eyes.
Then he leans forward, elbows braced on his thighs, voice low. âIf I was driving to prove something, Iâd be the wrong guy for this team.â
You blink. âSome would say last season proved that anyway.â
The silence that follows is immediate. And thick.
Seungkwan makes a small sound from behind the cameraâ a tiny gasp, smothered by the clipboard.
You donât backpedal. You donât soften.
Itâs not a jab. Itâs a fact. One heâs heard before. Seungcheol lets the moment breathe. Lets it sit between you.
Then he laughsâshort, sharp. No humor in it.Â
âI forgot how fun you are to talk to.â
You tilt your head. âItâs not personal.â
âIsnât it?â he says, and his voice is so quiet, it lands like a threat.
You inhale through your nose and glance at your page. Redirect.
âWhatâs the first thing you think of when youâre on the starting grid?â
Thereâs a pause. Then, âNothing.â
You raise an eyebrow.
He smirks. âThatâs the point. Thinking gets you killed.â
You write that down, even though you donât need to. Itâs getting recorded anyways.
He leans back again, eyes still locked on yours. Not angry. Not smug. Just⌠watching. When the camera cuts, the silence remains. You unclip your mic slowly. Heâs already standing.
You donât say anything. Neither does he.
He leaves before you can decide whether you want him to.
What the hell is his deal?
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
The sun is brutal at this hourâ high, relentless, glinting off the tarmac like itâs daring anyone to blink first. You donât. Not yet.
Youâre standing just behind the safety rail, far enough to be invisible to the engineers but close enough to see everything that matters. Helmeted figures blur past in streaks of color, but your eyes are locked on only one: car number seventeenâthe one that belongs to Choi Seungcheol.
Your notebook is open, balanced on your forearm, pages flapping faintly in the breeze that smells like burnt rubber and hot fuel. The top line reads in neat block letters: âVoiceover Segment â Driver Profiles: Racecraft.â
Underneath, bullet points:
Brake timing: early on corners 6 and 9.
Lap 2: oversteer correction, razor-sharp.
Turn-in commitment : aggressive, clean.
Line discipline: tight, zero margin wasted.
Unsettled entry into Turn 13: intentional???
You scribble as he exits the far chicane, eyes narrowing slightly at the way he recovers with that barely-there flick of the wrist. Itâs art, in a way most people will never understand. Not just velocityâ itâs violence in control.
You look over to the small screen placed near the railings, then you notice something. Not technical. Not really. You glance down and, without meaning to, write:
Turn-in is sharp. Overcorrects slightly on exits. Quick hands. Always. Habit?
Still as stone under brakingâalmost eerie.
You stare at the words.
Your pen hovers. Pauses. Then moves again.
Drives like heâs punishing something. Himself?
âYou planning to psychoanalyze his split times next?â
You startle.
Seungkwan is behind you, half in shadow, holding an iced coffee thatâs already starting to drip down his fingers. His eyebrows are raised and his smile is dry.
You slam the notebook shut. The pages snap together like a secret being hidden.
âItâs for the voiceover,â you say, a little too quickly. âAtmosphere.â
âMm. Sure.â He sips. âVery... moody atmosphere. Like a tragic Greek chorus monologue. I can practically hear the cello in the background.â
You glare. He grins wider.
Then he steps beside you, following your gaze to the track. Seungcheol passes again, fast and clean, leaving a scream of engine noise in his wake. He doesnât look toward the wall. Doesnât acknowledge anyone.
Especially not you.
Seungkwan exhales, quieter now, âHe hasnât said a word to me since your name came up this morning.â
You look away. âHe doesnât have to.â
âNo. But itâs weird. Even for him.â
The notebook feels heavy in your hands now, the weight of your own words still pressed between the pages.
Seungkwan gives you a long, considering look.
âJust... be careful with him,â he says finally. âHe doesnât forget much. Or forgive easily.â
The memory creeps in before you can stop it.
It was supposed to be just another race-day wrap-up.
The kind you could write in your sleep: thirty-second soundbites, recycled talking points, a handful of overused metaphors about speed and pressure. Seungcheol hadnât finished the raceâ DNF, something about engine failure or a pit stop gone wrongâ and when he finally stepped into the press pen, he looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.
You didnât take it personally. Drivers got like that sometimes. Adrenaline was cruel like thatâ hot and fast and feral.
âWalk us through what happened out there today?â you asked, calm, polite, voice barely rising above the whir of cameras and clicking shutters.
He scoffed. Actually scoffed. âThereâs nothing to walk through. We didnât finish.â Short. Clipped. Dismissive.
You tried again. âSome people think the restart mightâve been too aggressiveââ
His visor lifted just enough to meet your eyes. Dark. Unreadable.
âSome people should actually watch the footage before asking dumb questions.â
And then he turned. Didnât say thank you. Didnât look back. Just walked off, gloves still crumpled in one fist, jaw locked like stone.
You hadnât planned to write anything critical.
But when you sat down in your hotel room later that night, fingers still cold from holding the mic, you couldnât shake the look on his faceâor the sharp twist in your gut that hadnât been there before.
So you wrote what you saw.
âItâs easy to admire Choi Seungcheol when heâs winning. But when the race isnât in his favor, his temper shows through the cracks in his professionalism. Todayâs interview proved that even the most polished racers have fragile egos.â
Clean. Factual. Not personal.
But it lit a fuse.
Overnight, your inbox floodedâsome praise, some hate. Your piece got quoted on TV. Spliced into fan compilations. Sponsors asked questions. PR scrambled. Someone from the team issued a soft rebuttal saying, âThere may have been a misunderstanding during the post-race media exchange. Choiâs focus was still on the technical debrief, and emotions were running high. He holds great respect for journalists and values the work they do in bringing the sport to its global audience.âÂ
It wasnât an apology per se. Seungcheol never said a word.
But from that point on, he never gave you another quote. Never met your gaze in the press room. Never lingered for post-race comments if your mic was anywhere in sight.
And now?
Now, he looks at you like youâre the one who ruined everything.
Seungkwan murmurs, âHeâs overdriving.â
You donât reply.
You are familiar with this version of him. The one that drives too hard when heâs trying to shake something off. Youâve seen it beforeâ in stats, in footage, in post-race silences.
Finally, the radio crackles. His engineer says something about cooling the engine down. And just like that, the car pulls in, growling to a stop. The door lifts.
He steps outâundershirt clinging to him, face shiny with sweat, curls plastered to his forehead. His jaw is locked, like the session didnât clear his head the way he wanted it to.
You glance at the water bottle on the nearby table. Someone had left it behind. Itâs not even cold anymore, but stillâitâs something.Â
You pick it up without thinking and cross the short distance toward him.
He doesnât notice you at first, towel already half-draped over his shoulder, bent slightly as a tech says something about brake temps. But then he looks up. Sees you.
You donât say a word. Just extend the bottle in your hand.
He stares at it. Then at you. Long enough that it becomes a choice. Long enough that it means something.
Then he says, flat and easy, âIâm good.â
And walks past.
You nod, even though heâs not looking anymore.
No one says anything. But your hand stays closed around the bottle until the plastic crumples slightly in your grip. And then you walk back toward the trailers before anyone can see the look on your face.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
The edit bay is quiet.
Too quiet, almost. The kind of hush only machines make â low humming from drives, the soft crackle of the audio monitor when it switches between clips. The rest of the crewâs long gone, lights out in the pit lane, doors locked on the media center.
You should be gone too. But youâre not.
Instead, youâre here, headphones on, fingers pausing and dragging the timeline back five seconds. Again. Again. Again.
Seungcheolâs onboard camera footage is pulled up. A clean lap. Camera mounted on his halo barâhis hands, the wheel, the track flying toward him in perfect resolution. Youâve been trying to write the segment opener for over an hour, and all you have is: Choi Seungcheol is a driver of precision. Control. Ruthless rhythm
You hate it. It sounds like something anyone could say. Something heâd hate hearing.
You rewind again.
Pause.
Thereâs a freeze-frame of his handsâ gloved, sure, absolutely still as he flies down a straight. No micro-adjustments. No nerves. He drives like the car isnât moving at all.
But thenâ frame by frame, you notice his left thumb tap twice against the wheel. Barely a movement. Like a tick. Like a habit. You rewind again. Slower.
The tap happens before the DRS opens. Before the straight clears. Like he knows heâll need the calm, the open stretchâand the tap is permission.
Or reassurance.
You lean in.
âHe always taps before the straight,â you murmur to yourself, writing it in the margin of your notes. âRitual. Orâ something else.â
You scroll back to earlier footage from a different practice day. Different circuit. Different weather.
The tap is there again.
Tap tap. Just before full throttle.
Itâs nothing. Probably nothing. But itâs there. And now you canât unsee it.
You rub at your temples, trying to steer your thoughts back to the script. To objectivity. To professionalism. Youâre here to document him, not⌠understand him. Not unravel him.
Still, you click to the footage from earlierâ trackside cameras. Wider shot. Less clinical. Heâs walking back toward the garage, helmet off, hair sweat-damp, and jaw clenched.
He doesnât look at the camera.
But just before he steps out of frame, his eyes flick sideways.
For half a second less, he looks at the lens.
No. Not the lens.
You.
Your pulse thuds unexpectedly, stupidly. You sit back in the chair. The note page is still open on your screen. Your last bullet point reads: Drives like heâs punishing something. Himself?
You highlight it.
Then delete it.
You shut the laptop before you can change your mind.
But the weight of it stays, humming behind your ribsâlike something alive and unspoken.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
Youâre seated at the long conference table inside the paddock media suite, flanked by the production crew, comms specialists, a documentary director, and three too-many cups of bad coffee. The air-conditioning hums above, just loud enough to compete with the voices droning through the dayâs agenda. The room smells faintly of rubber, sweat, and those branded granola bars the crew keeps handing out.
Seungcheol hasnât spoken once.
Heâs in his racing suit still, half-zipped and tied at the waist, black compression tee clinging to his chest. He leans back in his chair, arms folded, cap pulled low. Watching. Listening. Disconnected in that deliberate way he always isâlike none of this is worth his time but heâs here because he has to be.
Across from you, Seungkwan flips to the next slide of the media presentation. âOkay, so â docuseries production. Weâve finished with most of the behind-the-scenes material for the pit crew and team engineers, but the big gap right now is still driver profiles.â
You nod along. This part is yours. Youâve spent the last two nights combing through the racers old race tapes, trying to piece together something coherent. Something that looks like a person, not a machine.
âWeâve been thinking,â you say, voice calm, measured, âto balance out the high-speed footage, we could shoot some off-track material. Nothing invasive. Just quieter stuffâdaily routines, maybe their time at the simulator, or a few minutes of downtime. To show contrast.â
There are a few hums in approval.
And thenâ âNo.â
His voice isnât raised, but itâs firm. Final.
You glance at him.
Seungcheol hasnât moved, but his eyes are locked on yours nowâ dark, unreadable, flint-sharp under the brim of his cap.
Someone at the end of the table clears their throat awkwardly. You wait for him to explain, or for Seungkwan to interject.
But Seungcheol does not budge.
âYou want ârealâ?â he says, tone quiet but cutting. âMaybe start with getting your facts right the first time.â
Your pulse spikes. You stare.
A few heads swivel your way. You force your face to stay still, neutral. The worst thing you could do is show how hard that hit.
âI didnâtââ you start, but he cuts in again.
âYou donât get to decide what parts of me are useful just because your cameras are running.â His jaw clenches. âYouâve already taken enough.â
No one speaks.
Not Seungkwan. Not the director. Not the wide-eyed intern with the color-coded clipboard. Just this stretched-out, sticky silence where youâre suddenly aware of every inch of your body and how very visible you feel inside it.
Your mouth opens, then closes again. You look down at your notesâ like they might offer some way out of this. But itâs already happened.
Then he moves.
Not abruptly, not with dramatics. But the chair legs scrape the floor, deliberate and loud, as he pushes up to his feet.
Seungcheol shrugs on his jacket, grabs the nearest bottle of water from the table, and without another word, walks straight out of the meeting room. No one breathes for a second.
Then Seungkwan, like clockwork, lets out a weak laugh. âHeâs just⌠not really a media guy.â
No one tries to correct him. And you?
You press your pen against the paper until the tip snaps clean off. Not because he humiliated you.But because for the first time, you think you understand why.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
You arrive at the paddock earlier than needed.
Your meeting with the docuseries team isnât until later in the afternoon, but you came two hours early and now youâre standing awkwardly in a place youâre technically allowed to be, but feel like you shouldnât.
From the corner, you watch him finish his final practice lap. Seungcheolâs car rolls into the garage, engine ticking hot, his visor still down. Someone opens the cockpit. He climbs out like a machine disengagingâfluid, precise, all quiet intensity.
Then he sees you.
Or maybe just registers your presence. His head turns, eyes landing on you for a fraction of a second. His expression doesnât shift. No surprise, no annoyance. Nothing.
He doesnât ask why youâre here.
He just pulls off his gloves, helmet tucked under his arm, and walks straight past you toward the changing room at the back of the garage. Like youâre furniture. Background. Static.
You exhale deeply. Fair enough.
You wait.
It takes several minutes. You hear the sound of a locker door slamming shut, muffled movement, the faint hiss of a water bottle being opened.
Thenâ footsteps. He emerges.
Fresh shirt, hair damp and curling at his temple, towel slung around his neck as he rakes it over the back of his head. He doesnât see you at firstâ his focus is on drying off, his stride already pulling him toward the far side of the hallway.
Then he spots you.
Leaning against the wall opposite the changing room, arms crossed, posture casual but heart pounding a little too loud for your own liking.
His steps falter. Briefly. Just for a beat.
Then resumes, unfazed, like heâs made a silent decision to walk past you entirely.
You let him.
Until heâs two steps ahead of you.
âSeungcheol.â
Your voice isnât loud, but it stops him.
He turns, slowly. That same unreadable look in his eyes, sharp and distant like heâs looking through you instead of at you.
You step forward.
No grand gestures. No long speeches. Just a small can of cherry soda in your handâ cool, slightly dewed from sitting in the media fridge.
You extend it toward him. âYou did well today.â
He blinks once. Then again, slower.
His gaze drops to the can, then lifts to your face.
ââŚHave you poisoned this?â
You let out a sigh. You deserve that.
âNo,â you murmur. âThough I probably deserve that kind of suspicion.â
His brow lifts a little at thatâsurprised by your honesty, maybe. But still guarded.
âI justââ you start, voice low, unsure. You shift the can in your hands like itâs something fragile. âI wanted to say Iâm sorry. For the article. ForâŚeverything it cost you.â
His expression doesnât change.
You push forward anyway.
âI didnât know it would spiral like that. I didnât know you at all, and thatâs the worst part, right?â You glance away, swallow. âI donât expect you to forgive me. Not now. Maybe not ever. But⌠I hope someday youâll hate me a little less.â
It hangs there for a moment.
Not silence exactlyâ thereâs still the hum of equipment in the background, distant voices from the other end of the paddockâ but it feels like silence.
You take one careful step forward and press the cherry soda into his hand. You donât wait to see if he accepts it fully.
Just a small, tired smile. Tight-lipped. Not hopeful. Just⌠human.
And then you leave. You donât look back. But if you did, youâd see him standing in place, eyes on the can in his hand like itâs a message he hasnât quite decided how to read yet.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
You almost skip dinner.
You tell yourself itâs because you have notes to revise, footage to sort through, emails to send. Some twelve-year-old-girl excuse.
But really, itâs the risk of being in the same room as him â the same cramped circle of laughter and clinking glasses and easy camaraderie you still feel slightly removed from.
Seungkwan doesnât let you off the hook. âThey wonât bite,â he says, tugging you toward the restaurant entrance. âWell. Maybe Seungcheol will. But Iâll make sure he doesnât leave teeth marks.â
You shoot him a look. He grins. It helps. A little.
Inside, the team is already gathered around a long, narrow table. A place is cleared for you just as you arrive. By some twist of fateâ or more likely, Seungkwan's passive-aggressive seating planâ your spot is right beside him.
Choi Seungcheol. Black hoodie sleeves pushed up to the elbows. Arms crossed. Jaw set. Gaze locked on the menu like itâs about to pick a fight.
He doesnât look at you when you sit. Doesnât greet you either. His attention stays locked on his plate, one elbow propped on the table, his fingers absentmindedly circling the neck of his water bottle.
Conversation flows around him â light, messy, animated. Someone makes a joke about the docuseries. Something about how dramatic it's going to make all of them look. A few heads turn toward you.
You brace yourself, already reaching for your glass.
But before anyone can say more, Seungcheol cuts in. Voice flat, but not cold, âAt least theyâre doing their job.â
You glance over, startled. His gaze isnât on youâ itâs fixed somewhere across the table. He doesnât say anything else.
You donât either.
After a while, the laughter gets too loud, and the room too warm. You slip away, excusing yourself quietly, pushing the door open and stepping out into the cool night air.
The breeze is immediate, tugging strands of hair from your face. You breathe in slowly, eyes closing for a beat. Just one. Long enough to gather your thoughts. Or let them go.
Until you hear footsteps behind you. Soft but deliberate.
You donât have to turn. Your posture straightens instinctively, some part of you already aware of the heat that trails after him like a second skin.
He doesnât say anything at first. Just comes to a stop a pace behind you. Then, after a beat, âYou always disappear like this?â
His voice is quieter than usual. Not teasing. Just⌠curious.
You glance over your shoulder. âOnly when I need air.â
He nods. Looks up at the sky like itâs given him something to think about before he stares down at the ground. Then, without a word, pulls his hoodie over his head.
You blink.
âWhat are youâ?â
Before you can finish, heâs stepping closerâ not touching, but near enough that you can feel it â and draping the soft fabric over your shoulders.
âIt gets cold at night,â he says simply, scratching the side of his nose like itâll make him less embarrassed. âDidnât want you freezing out here and getting blamed for holding up filming tomorrow.â
Youâre too stunned to answer right away.
The hoodie is warm. It smells like wind and gasoline and whatever aftershave he uses.
You clear your throat. âThanks.â
He nods again. Turns without fanfare and slips back inside, the door closing behind him with a soft thud.
You stand there for another minute, fingers tightening around the fabric, heart doing something stupid against your ribs.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
You donât know when it starts, exactly.
Maybe itâs the day Seungcheol doesnât just ignore your greeting, but gives a faint nod in return. Or when he asks, without looking up from his gloves, whether the docuseries will be covering the wet tire strategy segmentâ like your opinion holds weight. He still keeps his distance, still rarely meets your eyes, but his silence has lost its bite. It doesnât bristle anymore. It lingers.
He doesnât bolt from shared rooms. Doesnât brush past you like youâre invisible. One time, he even moves aside to let you through the garage door firstâ a small thing, but enough that Seungkwan later texts you 10 eyes emojis.Â
And then thereâs the cherry soda. You keep seeing itâ half-empty cans in the recycling bin, one tucked beside his gear bag. He never says anything, but he doesnât not accept them when you leave one near his seat after a long day.
You havenât earned a smile. Not yet. But you believe the hatredâs softening into something else. Something almost watchful. Like heâs trying to decide if youâre still a threatâ or something far more dangerous
It had been pouring for hours.
You were supposed to get off work at five, but the storm had other plans. Rain tapped hard against the windows, a steady, relentless sheet that turned the world outside into a blur of grey. You figured youâd stay backâmight as well get some editing done while waiting it out.
But the sky never cleared.
Eventually, you packed your things, tugged your jacket tighter around you, and stepped under the buildingâs glass overhang, eyes on the road as you waited for your taxi.Â
You thought almost everyone had left, so you clearly didnât expect to hear footsteps behind you.
âYouâre still here?â a voice said, low and familiar.
You turned, surprised. âYou hadnât left?â
Seungcheol slung a backpack over one shoulder, hair slightly damp, a faint sheen on his skin like heâd been working in the garage. He looked relaxed in a way you rarely saw outside the race track.
âHad a few things to wrap up,â he said. Then he glanced at you. âWhy havenât you left yet?â
You nodded toward the rain. âThought Iâd wait it out. Get some work done while it calmed down. But⌠I think I misjudged.â
He followed your gaze to the storm. Then, casually âIâll drop you off at home.â
Your eyes widened. âOh no, thatâs okay. I already booked a taxi.â
He raised an eyebrow. âCancel it. No point wasting your money when Iâm offering it myself.â
You stared. âButââ
âNo buts,â he said, grinning now, the kind that made his dimple flash. âIâll be in the parking garage.â And just like that, he turned and walked away, leaving you stunned under the glass awning.
And, that's how you ended up in the front seat of his BMW, waiting for the signal to turn green. The hum of the engine barely audible over the drumming rain. The windshield wipers moved in steady rhythm, clearing arcs through the downpour. The A/C was on low, keeping the windows from fogging up. But what catches your eye is the small picture tucked neatly beside the central console.
âIs that you?â you ask, pointing to the picture of a small boy in a red toy car. Seungcheol let out a short laugh. âYeah. My first ride.â
You smiled. âYouâve been driving your whole life.â
He leaned back slightly, fingers brushing the edge of the steering wheel. His voice dropped, softer now. âMy dad used to race. Nothing big. Amateur circuits. But he talked about it like it was sacred. Even after he gave it up.â
You stay quiet, letting him go on.
âHe had this old kart. Kept it in the shed behind our house. I think I wasâŚfour? When he let me drive it. Couldnât even reach the pedals properly.â
You smile a little. âDid you crash it?â
He huffs. âInto a fence. And a bush. And almost my mom.â
You both laughâ soft, genuine.
He shakes his head, lips twitching. âBut I didnât stop. Every weekend after that, I was out there. Practicing. Pushing. Getting yelled at for tearing up the yard.â
You note how relaxed his postureâs become, the way his voice has settled into something low and fond.
âGot serious around fifteen. Left school early. Trained wherever I could, worked side jobs, picked up sponsors. Didnât care about anything else. Just⌠getting fast enough. Good enough.â
Thereâs a pause.
And then, quieter âSometimes I wonder what wouldâve happened if I didnât make it.â
You glance up from your notepad.
Heâs not looking at youâ his gaze is somewhere else, far away. But you can feel the weight of that question hanging between you.
âYou did make it,â you say softly.
That brings his eyes back to you.
And for the first time, you see it â the person beneath the helmet, beneath the legacy and the wins and the walls. A boy who raced because he loved it. A man who never stopped.
He doesnât say anything. The signal turns green.
But he holds your gaze a little longer than usual, before looking straight and driving.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
Your room looked like a tornado had hit it. Clothes were scattered everywhere, your suitcase bulging so much it would take brute force to zip it shut.
âYah! Whatâs all this mess?â Mina, your roommate slash bestie appeared in the doorway, a glass of lemonade in hand. She eyed the chaos, stepping over a pair of jeans to place the glass on your cluttered dresser. âAre you going away for ten days or ten years?â
She bent down, scooping up a shirt from the floor. âIs this all for your prince charming?â she teased, raising an eyebrow at you.
âHe is not my prince charming,â you shot back, holding up another dress from your wardrobe and checking your reflection to see if it flattered you.
F1 was hosting a race in France, and naturally, Seungcheol and the team were going. So when your boss called you into her office with a mischievous smile and said something like, âWe need raw, behind-the-scenes action. The lead-up, the aftermath. You already know themâyouâre the only one who can pull this off,â you didnât really have a choice.
âWell, it didnât look that professional last week when he dropped you off,â Mina said, her voice lilting. âYou two seemed pretty cozy. Didnât take you to be the PDA type. Hugging and all, huh?â
She folded another shirt before her eyes widened. âWaitâisnât this my top?â
âYeah, it looks good on me,â you said with zero guilt. âAlso, since youâve found it, can you please put it in the suitcase? Thanks.â
âIâll forgive you this time. After all, youâve got to impress your prince charming.â
âHe is not myâugh! Whatever. Also, Iâm going there to work, not to date.â
âI never said anything about dating,â she said, grinning as she walked out.
You flopped onto the bed with a sigh.
Yes. Yes you were nervous. But not because of himâ well partially. This trip was a big deal for your career. A chance to show what you could do outside the controlled setting of HQ interviews and edited footage. You were going to capture the team rawâ tense, driven, exhausted, and elated. You were excited⌠and also maybe, spiraling, just a little.
Of course Seungcheol would be there. Lately, the two of you had been⌠closer. After that conversation in his car, things had shifted. Now you both ate together in the canteen. Youâd catch him waiting outside your office so you could walk together. Sometimes, he even dropped you off at home, no explanation needed. Seungkwan, ever the agent of chaos, was definitely having fun being a witness to all this. He texts you in the middle of lunch âOMG!! I give it 2 more lunches before he starts feeding you from his spoonâ or âCHIVALRY OR WHAT!?â when Seungcheol opens the soda can for you.
Itâs not like you were in love or anything⌠Obviously not. But you liked having him around. You liked the ease that had started blooming between you. The way he made you laugh without trying. The way you felt seen, in rooms where no one usually looked twice. And this trip⌠maybe it would change something between you. You werenât sure what. But you hopedâ that it would be something good.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
The hotel in Le Castellet looked like something out of a period film. Ivy-covered walls, tall wooden shutters, cobblestone paths damp from morning drizzle. You pause in the lobby, suitcase handle in one hand, the other clutching your phone with the itinerary pulled up. The air smells faintly of citrus and fresh flowers.
Seungcheol walked a few steps behind you, dragging his duffel bag along the polished floor. His hoodieâs still bunched around his elbows, and his hair is tousled from the flight.
He stopped beside you, glancing around at the old-world chandeliers and exposed stone walls. âFancy,â he mutters, like he doesnât know what to do with it.
You nod, letting out a breath. âFeels too nice to be covered in race fuel by the end of the week.â
That earns you a small laugh from him. Itâs easy. Unforced.
As everyone begins collecting their room keys, you hang back to avoid the crowd. Seungkwanâs already texting you: donât take too long u two⌠theyâre gonna run out of good rooms ;)
You roll your eyes. Just then, Seungcheol appears beside you again, a key card already in his hand. He leans slightly toward you, voice quiet.
âHey. What room did you get?â
You show him the slip from the front desk. He glances at it, then tilts his head. âNext to mine.â
You blink. âOh?â
âYeah,â he says simply. âI asked the guy if he could put the team close. Just in case, yâknow, media stuff or whatever.â
You donât question it. But thereâs a pause. A moment where neither of you move, the buzz of the lobby fading a little.
He eyes your suitcase for a second, then reaches out without a word and takes the handle from your grip.
You blink. âI couldâve managed, you know.â
He shrugs, already steering it toward the elevator. âI know. But I was right there.â
Itâs such a simple statement, but it lingers. You trail a few steps behind, watching the way his hand rests casually on the luggage, like heâs done this before. Like heâs just... quietly decided heâll look out for you now. When the elevator dings open, he holds the door for you without looking, but when you step inside, you catch the faintest smile on his face.
__
You sit cross-legged in your robe, unpacking your suitcase. Toiletries to the left, clothes (mostly folded, some not) to the right, and an increasing pile of âwhy did I even bring this?â building at your feet. You're halfway through deciding if you packed too many dresses when a knock sounds at your door.
You frown, glancing at the clockâ almost midnight.
Padding over, you open it slowly.
âSeungcheol?â you blink, surprised to see him standing there in a grey hoodie and joggers, hair a little tousled like heâd been rolling around on the bed for the past hour.
âHey,â he says, voice low. âI couldnât sleep. Was wondering if youâd be up for a walk.â he says meekly âI would have asked Seungkwan but umm.. He seems to be sleeping, you know, maybe all that jet lag caught up to him. He lets out a little laugh. âI just hoped you wouldnât be sleeping. Didnât mean to bother you, though.â
âYouâre not,â you say, amused. âJust give me a second to change.â
â
âYou walk like you own the place,â you tease, taking a spoonful of the butterscotch gelato he insisted on getting for you from âthe best place in town.â
âI kind of do,â he says, mock serious. âThis is my fourth year racing here. I know every late-night gelato stand within a three-mile radius.â
âOh, so youâre a connoisseur,â you grin.
The cobbled street underfoot winds gently along a row of quiet shops. Most are closed at this hour, but some still glow faintly with warm light. A bakery with pastel tiles. A souvenir shop with tiny Eiffel Towers on the window. The breeze is cool, enough to make you hug your arms lightly.
âYou ever come here just for fun?â you ask.
âNever had time. Always training. Or recovering.â He shrugs. âItâs weird, though. Walking around with someone. Like this.â
You glance at him. âGood weird or weird weird?â
He smirks. âStill deciding.â You laugh, and in retaliation, give him a light shove on the arm. He stumbles dramatically, clutching his gelato like a wounded soldier.
âYou almost killed it,â he gasps, holding it high.
âOh no, the tragedy,â you mock.
Just then, a gust of wind picks up, catching strands of your hair and blowing them into your face. You brush them away with a frownâ and then feel his hand, unexpectedly gentle, brushing the rest back. His fingers pause briefly, tucked behind your ear.
The street noise fades a little. Itâs quiet. Just the two of you standing there, his hand still resting lightly against your hair, his eyes on yours. Heâs close enough that you can see the tiny mole on the left side of his foreheadâ just below the hairline, the way his expression softens when heâs not trying to look unreadable. His thumb shifts slightly, like he might say somethingâ but doesnât.
Then, slowly, he lets his hand fall away. âWe should head back,â he says, voice low.
You nod, heart thumping a little faster.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
You are supposed to be filming the pit crew rotation this morning.
Nothing fancyâ just clean b-roll for the docuseries team. Angles of tire changes, gloved hands passing tools, that low, satisfying whir of drills and radio chatter. The kind of footage thatâll get sliced up and paired with voice-overs later. But your camera drifts.
Just a little. Not enough for anyone to notice, maybe.
You were framing the rear wing of Seungcheolâs carâ looking for reflections in the carbon fiberâ but your lens catches something else. A flash of motion just outside the frame.
You pan left instinctively. And freeze.
Heâs near the edge of the garage, talking to one of the engineers. Laughing at something. Really laughingâ head tilted, hand rubbing at the back of his neck, eyes all crinkled at the corners. The sun sneaks in through the open garage door behind him, casting a soft halo along his jaw, catching in his lashes, warming the brown in his eyes.
And for a second, you forget what youâre doing. You just watch.
The way his nose scrunches a little when he smiles too hard. How his hands move when he talksâ animated, open. The little dimple that appears even when heâs not doing anything particular.
God. Heâs pretty.
Heâs beautiful, actually. Not just in the way he looks. In the way he carries himself. In the way he makes people laugh. In the way he made space for youâ even when he didnât have to.
Your chest feels tight. Your grip on the camera slackens.
He glances up, mid-conversation. Catches your gaze across the garage. And smiles. Like he sees you. Just like that.
You inhale softly. Your heart is doing something weirdâfluttery and slow all at once.
Oh.
Oh no.
You love him.
It settles in your bones quietlyâ without panic, without denial. Just this quiet, solid truth. You love him.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
Today was the cocktail event organized by the F1 committee â a chance for teams and media to mingle, but not really work. You were invited, so you decided to treat it like a night off. Get a little buzz from champagne or maybe flirt with some cute French waiters. You were totally not thinking about Seungcheol.
You decide on a black sleeveless dress with subtle ruching along the waist, featuring an asymmetrical hemline trimmed with sheer ruffled fabricâ which you also âborrowedâ from Mina.
As you walked into the softly lit room, the low murmur of conversations and clinking glasses wrapped around you. The moment you approached Seungkwan and the group of boys, you could see the surprises on their faces. âWhoa⌠you look amazing,â Seungkwan said, barely able to hide the surprise on his face.Â
Seungcheol was standing a little further, his mouth slightly open as if caught off guard. He didnât say anything at firstâ just stared at you, a quiet awe in his gaze. Then, clearing his throat, he finally spoke, his voice low but sincere.
âYou look beautiful.â
Your heart skipped a beat. You turned to meet his eyes, and the warmth in his expression made your cheeks flush. âThank you,â you whispered, feeling suddenly shy under his quiet attention
You and Seungcheol found your seats at a round table near the center of the ballroom, surrounded by teammates, media personnel, and a few sponsors. The table was decorated simplyâ white linens, small floral arrangements, and glasses filled with champagne and sparkling water. Despite the elegance, the atmosphere felt a bit stiff and rehearsed.
The announcerâs voice came over the speakers, crisp and polished, welcoming everyone to the event and thanking sponsors and teams. The speeches went onâ a few heartfelt words about sportsmanship, the future of the sport, and the importance of media coverage. But you and Seungcheol exchanged glances, both fighting the urge to tune out. The words felt like white noise beneath the clinking glasses and polite laughter.
Around you, conversations buzzedâ some lively, some forced. People in sharp suits laughed a little too loudly, posed for photos, or whispered in corners. The cocktail party was starting to feel crowded, the space shrinking as more guests arrived and the music swelled.
You shifted in your seat, glancing around for a breath of fresh air. Seungcheolâs brow furrowed slightly, and before the moment could become overwhelming, he leaned over to you.
âCome with me,â he said quietly.
Curious, you followed him out through the double doors and onto the balcony. The cool night air was a relief, calm and quiet except for the distant murmur of the party behind you.
He pulled two flutes of champagne from a waiterâs tray as they passed by, handing one to you with a small smirk. âFor emergencies,â he joked, the tension in his shoulders easing.
You clinked glasses softly and took a sip, the bubbles tickling your throat. Seungcheol swirled the champagne in his glass, eyes fixed on the bubbles rising. âYou know,â he said, voice low, âitâs kind of nice to get away from all that noise. Sometimes I forget how exhausting it all is.â
You smiled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. âYeah, the speeches and formalities are... not exactly the highlight of my day.â
He glanced up, a teasing spark in his eyes. âI bet youâd rather be somewhere else.â
âMaybe,â you admitted. âBut here we are. And honestly, Iâm glad you dragged me out here. This feels... different. Calmer.â
He shifted a little closer, the warmth from his body suddenly very noticeable. âDifferent can be good,â he said. âSometimes the best things happen when you least expect them.â
You looked up at him, heart skipping. âLike what?â
His gaze dropped to your lips, then back to your eyes. âLike finding yourself standing on a balcony, sharing champagne with someone whoâs been in your head more than youâd like to admit.â
Your breath hitched. âIs that what Iâm doing?â
âMaybe,â he whispered, voice thick. âOr maybe itâs just me.â
You laughed softly, but the tension in the air tightened. Your eyes lingered on his lips, and suddenly the space between you felt charged, electric.
Your conversation slowed without you really noticing, and the space between you got smaller. His eyes flicked to your lips, and yours moved to his. His hand rested on your hip, steady and warm. You could feel the heat between you. Everything else seemed to fade away.
Just as you leaned in, about to close the gap, a sharp clink broke the moment. One of the champagne glasses slipped from the railing and smashed on the ground below.
âShit! Iâm sorryâ Then after a moment he removes his hands from your waist. âIâ I think we should head back.â
You give a small nod, hard enough to mask your disappointment.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
Youâd been avoiding Seungcheol like the plague.
Ever since what happened three nights agoâ the almost-kiss, the silence that followedâ you hadnât found the courage to face him. Not properly. Not without your heart skipping a beat and your words getting stuck somewhere in your throat.
And Seungcheol? He tried. You could tell. Like the time you were in the garage with the engineers, taking notes on wing configurations. Heâd walk over, hands shoved in his pockets, hovering like he wanted to say something. But you didnât even give him the chanceâ you mumbled something about needing to check a file and slipped away before he got a word out.
Then there was lunch the next day. You saw him enter the cafeteria, tray in hand, scanning the room. You ducked behind a vending machine until he sat somewhere else.
And earlier this morningâ when he held the elevator door open for youâ you pretended to be on a call, turning away so fast you nearly bumped into a potted plant.
It wasnât that you were mad. Or even embarrassed, really. It was worse than that. You were unsure. And that feeling scared you more than anything.
Unfortunately for you, the team is having their free practice session and lap formation today, and you just happen to have to be present to record them.
The paddock was buzzing, the distant roar of engines reverberating through the asphalt. Team members bustled around, heads down, radios crackling. You stayed behind the camera rig, half-hidden behind one of the monitors, using the equipment as a shield â both from the sun, and from Seungcheol.
You could see him in your periphery, suited up in his practice gear, leaning against a stack of tires, talking to one of the mechanics. His sleeves were rolled up, and his hair was slightly dampâ from sweat or water, you couldnât tell. Every once in a while, he laughed at something someone said, teeth flashing, head thrown back.
And you hated itâ how your stomach flipped, how your skin warmed, how your fingers twitched on the camera button. You needed to focus. This was work. Just footage. Just documentationâ and it will all go back to normal once you get back to korea and finish the documentary.Â
âY/N!â someone called. The assistant director waved you over. âCan you help me get a few close-up shots of the drivers before they head out? Starting with car seventeen.â
You swallowed hard. Car seventeen was Seungcheolâs.
You hesitated. He was already walking toward the car, helmet tucked under one arm, gloves dangling from his fingers. And just your luckâ he looked up right then.
This time, you didnât look away fast enough.
Your eyes locked. Just for a second. But something shifted. His brows pulled together slightly, gaze steady. Like he was done pretending not to notice the space you kept putting between you.
You took a deep breath and walked toward him, camera clutched like a shield. Before you could raise it, he spoke.
âAre you gonna keep doing this?â
You blinked. âDoing what?â
âThis,â he said, voice low. âAvoiding me. Ducking out of elevators. Hiding behind vending machines like weâre in high school.â
You winced. âI wasnât hidingââ
âYou skipped lunch three days in a row,â he continued, stepping closer, the words gentle but firm. âYou left the garage the second I walked in. And this morning? You couldnât even meet my eyes.â
You opened your mouth to argue, to deflectâbut nothing came out.
So he tried again, softer this time. âY/N⌠why?â
You were quiet for a beat too long.
And then it just tumbled out.
âBecause I love you,â you said. The words hung in the space between you, raw and sharp. âI avoided you because I love you.â you repeat, your voice softer now.
He froze.
You swallowed hard, voice barely above a whisper now. âAnd Iâm scared. Because maybe you donât feel the same. And if I keep being around you, if you keep being this version of yourself with meâkind, thoughtful, closeâ Iâll start hoping. Iâll start thinking maybe thereâs something real here. And I canât afford that. Not when Iâm the only one who feels it.â
Silence. Just the faint whir of drills and the distant chatter from the paddock.
Thenâhis hand reached out. Found your wrist. His touch was warm and grounding.
âYou think I donât feel the same?â he said, eyes locked onto yours. âY/N, I havenât been able to stop thinking about you since the day you walked into HQ. And after that night on the balcony, do you really think I havenât been going just as crazy as you?â
Your breath hitched.
He stepped even closer, his forehead nearly brushing yours. âDonât run. Not from this.â
For a moment, everything slowedâ the noise of the pit fading into the background, the tension between you easing into something softer, something real. You let out a breath you didnât realize youâd been holding.
âI donât want to run anymore,â you whispered.
He nodded, eyes warm and steady.
The PA crackled over the loudspeakers, announcing the start of the race lineup. Reality tugged you both back, but neither moved away.
âSee you after the race?â he asked, his voice low, hopeful.
You nodded, already knowing youâd be counting down the minutes.
___
The sun was brutal.
The stands were packed, a blur of flags and roars and camera flashes. The smell of rubber, asphalt, and heat hung thick in the air as the teams scrambled for final checks. Mechanics swarmed like ants, tightening bolts, checking tire pressure, calibrating sensors. Overhead, a helicopter circled the track, catching aerial shots for the broadcast.
You were posted near the pit wall, camera hanging from your neck, a comm in your ear buzzing with static and updates.
But your eyesâ they were on Car Seventeen.
Seungcheol sat behind the wheel, helmet on, visor down. From this distance, you couldnât see his eyes, but you didnât need to. You knew his routine by nowâ the way he leaned back and rotated his shoulders before a race, the way he tapped the steering wheel twice before the formation lap, how his fingers curled like he was anchoring himself.
The lights went out and Seungcheol launched off the grid like a bullet, tires spinning for half a breath before catching grip. Ahead, three cars jostled for positionâ he was P6, boxed in, the track narrowing into the first corner like the eye of a needle.
He stayed wide. Braked late. Too late, almost.
The car twitched as he dove into the corner, threading between two rivals. A puff of smoke, a lock-upâ someone behind miscalculatedâ but he was clean through, emerging in P4.
By Lap 7, the front runners were bunched tight. Every straight was a drag race, every corner a standoff. The car ahead swerved leftâ blocking. Seungcheol feinted right, then cut back with precision, catching the slipstream on the long straight.
He pulled out at the last second. Side by side. Gear shifts slammed. Wheels inches apart. At 310 km/h, he edged forward, took the inside lineâ and held it.
P3.
The car behind didnât let up. On Lap 10, it was payback. Seungcheol saw it coming too lateâbrakes flashing, the other driver dove from the outside. They nearly touched through the apex, Seungcheol forced wide, dust kicking up under his tires.
He dropped to fourth, but not for long.
Next lap, he studied the braking pointsâ waited for the tiniest mistake. It came at Turn 9: a late apex. Seungcheol threw his car down the inside like a blade, tires skimming the curb, just enough grip to stick it. Sweat clung to his neck. His gloves were soaked, hands still steady on the wheel. He didnât speak. Didnât blink. Eyes locked on the two cars ahead.
Lap 17. The second-place driver ran deep into the hairpinâ barely a car length ahead.
Seungcheol didnât hesitate.
He switched the diff, went full attack. The rear twitched under him as he accelerated early. The grip held. His nose was inside by the next turn. The two cars touched wheels lightly, metal brushing metalâ but he didnât lift.
By the time they hit the main straight, Seungcheol was in second.
Now it was just one left. And he wasnât giving it up easy.
The last five laps were hell. DRS opened. They swapped places twice. Once, they went three corners side by sideâ wheels locked, tires screeching. Seungcheol braked into the final chicane from too far back, but he held itâ just barely. The rear of the car squirmed, traction dancing on the edge of disaster.
Final lap. Final sector.
He was ahead. Just a few tenths.
The last turn came up fast â he didn't brake early, didnât lift. He trusted the car.
The tires screamed, the G-forces crushed his ribs â and then, he was out of the turn, full throttle, crossing the finish line.
First.
His hands shook as he unclipped the wheel. The car slowed, the crowd a blur, but none of it landed. All he could think about was one thingâ
Heâd won, and you were there.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
The room is buzzingâ reporters crammed into every row, microphones armed, flashes going off like fireworks. Seungcheol has just won the race. He sits at the center of the table, sweat still glistening at his temples, race suit half-unzipped and collar tugged loose.
He should be talking about tires. About strategy. About the last-minute overtake that made the crowd lose their minds.
But his eyes flicker to you every other second.
Youâre standing off to the side of the room, barely visible to the press, heart pounding from more than just the win.
A reporter asks him about the final lap.
Seungcheol answers smoothly. âIt was tight, but I knew what I had to do. Iâve never wanted something more in a race.â
Another reporter chimes in, âYou seemed... different out there today. Sharper. More emotional. Was something motivating you?â
He pauses.
And then, right there, with a thousand eyes watching him and the world on recordâ
âYeah,â Seungcheol says, voice steady. âThere was.â
A small smile pulls at his lips as he glances toward you.
âThereâs someone,â he continues. âSomeone whoâs been behind the scenes since the start of the season. You might not see her in front of the cameras, but sheâs there. Always. Working, filming, noticing things no one else does.â
You freeze.
âSheâs smart. Sharp. And the most annoying person when she wants to be.â His grin grows, softer now. âSheâs also the reason Iâve been driving like Iâve got something to prove.â
A ripple goes through the crowd.
âI spent a lot of time trying to figure out what this feeling was. But I know now. And I donât care if this is the right place or the wrong oneâI just know I want her to hear it.â
He looks directly at you now.
âI love you.â
The room goes still.
You feel your pulse in your ears, the words still ringing "I love her. Thatâs all."
Seungcheol exhales slowly, nods once, and pushes back his chair. The screech of it against the floor cuts through the stunned quiet.
He rises.
And thenâchaos.
âSeungcheol! Are you saying youâre in a relationship?â
âWhen did this start?â
âWas it before the season began?â
âIs she part of your team? Are you worried about the backlash?â
A dozen voices rise at once, microphones shoved forward, cameras flashing like lightning.
But he doesnât flinch.
He doesnât stop.
He just gives a tired half-smile, dimples ghosting his cheeks, and lifts a hand in a calm, deliberate gesture. âNo further comments.â
Thatâs all he says.
And then he walks off the stageâunbothered, sure-footed, like he hadnât just dropped a bomb in the middle of a press room. Like the whole world hadn't just tilted.
And somehow, with your heart still thudding and your throat closing up, all you can think is: he said it. Out loud. To everyone.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
You were waiting for him outside his hotel room, heart pounding a little more than you expected. Youâd slipped away from the paddock, too eager not to be the first to congratulate the winner.
The elevator door clicked open, and there he wasâ still flushed from the race, a slow smile tugging at his lips when he saw you.
âThat was some race, sir,â you teased, stepping closer, your eyes sparkling with mischief. âYou really kept us all on edge.â
âFinally decided to stop playing hide and seek, maâam?â Seungcheol leans his hand on the wall beside your head.
Your breath caught, heart thudding harder at how close he was. You matched his smirk, teasing, âHad to make sure you didnât escape after all that you pulled today.â
His eyes darkened, that familiar heat flickering between you both. âGood. Because Iâm not done yet.â
Before you could answer, his hand slid from the wall to your waist, pulling you closer.Â
He reached for the door handle, his fingers brushing yours ever so lightly. The quiet click of the door felt loud in the charged silence between you. Inside, the dim light softened everythingâ the subtle scent of leather and cologne wrapping around you. Seungcheol didnât move away. Instead, he closed the door slowly, turning to lean against it, eyes locked on yours.
His eyes darkened as he stepped closer, the space between you shrinking until the heat of his body pressed gently against yours. His hand slid from your waist up along your ribs, tracing slow, deliberate circles that sent shivers down your spine.
He didnât break eye contact as he leaned in, pressing his lips softly to yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer without hesitation. When you parted slightly, the kiss deepened.Â
His hands slid down to your lower back, gripping you firmly. Your fingers found the bottom of his shirt, trembling as you tugged it up and over his head. His bare skin pressed against your palms, warm and solid.
A low groan rumbled from his throat as you kissed down his jaw, then you moved your hands to the buttons of your blouse, undoing them quickly. The fabric slipped off your shoulders, leaving you exposed to his hungry gaze.
You backed toward the bed, dragging him with you by the waistband of his jeans. He followed, lips never leaving yours, his hands roaming everywhere â your waist, your hips, your thighs like he couldnât decide where he wanted to touch first.
You gasped as the back of your knees hit the bed. He took the cue, hands gripping your thighs as he lifted you just enough to lay you back, following you down with a low groan. You reached between you, undoing the button of his jeans as he kissed your collarbone, the scrape of his teeth making your back arch
âGod, Iâve wanted this,â he muttered against your skin, voice rough and low. His hand slid between your legs, cupping you over your underwear. You whimpered, hips rolling into his palm.
Your clothes came off in a tangleâ your skirt pushed up, your bra unclasped, his jeans kicked away. It wasnât graceful.Â
You couldâve guessed his size from the way it outlined his briefs. You tugged him closer by the waistband of his briefs, but he paused, forehead resting against yours, chest rising and falling fast.
âWait,â he murmured, reaching into the nightstand. You watched, heart pounding, as he grabbed a small silver packet and tore it open with practiced ease, all while his eyes stayed on yours.
When he finally eased into you, you gaspedâ fingers tightening on his back as your body adjusted to the stretch.
âGodâŚâ you breathed, head falling back against the pillow.
He groaned against your neck, teeth grazing your skin. âYouâre so tight,â he murmured, voice hoarse. âFuckâ you feel like heaven.â
He gave you a moment, just holding still, his hands framing your waist before he began to moveâ slow at first, deep and deliberate, each thrust stealing the breath from your lungs.
Seungcheol had been relentless, his focus locked on the way your back arched beneath him, your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, pulling him in with every thrust.
âCheol, faster,â you gasped, the plea tumbling out between moans, your nails digging into his shoulders. He responded with a deep, guttural groan, snapping his hips harder, deliberate, forcefulâsending shocks through your entire body.
âFuck baby,â his sharp eyes flicked down to meet yours, a glint of hunger. âyouâre making it hard to hold back.â
âThen donât,â you shot back, breathless but defiant, your hips rising to meet his with purpose. His lips twitchedânot quite a smirk.
His mouth found your neck with a hungry urgency, lips dragging over your pulse point before he began kissing down the column of your throatâ open-mouthed, hot, and slow. You gasped when he bit down gently, just enough to make you jolt, and then soothed the sting with a languid, wet kiss that left your skin slick and tingling.
you moaned, hands threading into his hair as he sucked at the sensitive spot just below your jaw, drawing another sound from deep in your throat.
Seungcheol grunted, his grip tightened on the headboard. The force of his movements intensifiedâ each thrust deliberate. His arms wrap around your waist and pulls you inâ if it's possible anymore.
He moved lower, his tongue tracing the curve of your shoulder before returning to your neck, switching between soft kisses and firm sucks that left heat blooming across your skin. Each kiss was deliberate, each bite a mark of possession. Your hips rolled up instinctively, chasing friction, needing more.
âCheol! Iâ I think I'mââ you moan out barely able to form words.
Seungcheolâs dick once again disappears into you. His thrusts get harder. âYeah? My babyâs close?â
Every time his dick drives into you, your slick forms a ring around the base of his dick.
âMghh so go-good,â you sigh out, tossing your head back. Seungcheol pushes his face into the valley of your bouncing tits. Each tap of his tip against your cervix had him dizzy, the overstimulation causing each muscle in his body to tense.
Seungcheolâs grip tightened on your hips as he pounded into you with unrelenting force, every thrust sending jolts of pleasure spiraling through your core. Your nails raked down his back, desperate to anchor yourself to him, to the overwhelming heat building between you.
He dipped his head, breath hitching as he nipped at the curve of your neck, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Your back arched instinctively, pressing closer.
âCheolâŚâ you gasped, voice trembling with need, âI canât holdâ nghh anymore.â
He didnât slowâ if anything, his pace grew more fierce, more demanding, matching your rising desperation. His mouth found yours again, a searing kiss that stole your breath, teeth grazing and tongues tangling in a fierce dance.
Your bodies moved as oneâ taut, desperateâ chasing the impossible thrill of release. And thenâ with a guttural growl, he tensed inside you, shattering the last restraint as waves of pleasure crashed over you both in a crescendo of raw, unfiltered bliss.
You clung to each other in the aftermath, breathless and trembling, the fierce glow of your shared fire still burning bright in the dim room.
Seungcheol shifted beside you, his hands warm and careful as they brushed away the damp strands of hair sticking to your forehead. His fingers traced slow, soothing patterns along your skin, grounding you after the storm of sensation.
He reached for the soft towel folded nearby and dipped it into the glass of water on the nightstand. With deliberate gentleness, he pressed the cool cloth to your flushed cheeks, wiping away the sheen of sweat and the remnants of kisses along your neck.
âYouâve got marks,â he murmured, his voice thick with a mixture of admiration and protectiveness. His lips brushed over the places where his teeth had left gentle imprints, leaving you breathless all over again.
Without a word, he pressed a tender kiss to each one, as if silently apologizing and claiming you all at once.
Seungcheolâs fingers slid beneath the sheet, tracing the curve of your waist, making sure you were comfortable. Then he helped you adjust your clothes, pulling the fabric back over your shoulders and smoothing it down with care.
His hands lingered just a moment longer as he pulled you close, wrapping you in a warm embrace. The steady beat of his heart against your ear was the only sound in the room, a quiet promise that he was there, that you were safe.
âRest now,â he whispered, voice low and soothing. âIâll be right here.â
You sighed, melting into his arms, feeling the last traces of tension ebb away. And as your eyelids drifted closed, the world outside faded until all that remained was thisâ his touch, his warmth, and the quiet certainty of being loved.
âââââËęŠď˝Ąââââ
It was only day three of dating, but somehow every little thing Seungcheol did felt like a scene straight out of a movieâ and you werenât complaining.
You were wandering near the Seine, the spring breeze tousling your hair, when Seungcheol suddenly stopped and looked at you with a mischievous grin.
âRace you to that bench,â he challenged, pointing across the park.
You rolled your eyes but smiled. âYouâre on.â
In a burst of laughter and clumsy running, you both sprintedâ Seungcheol barely beating you and collapsed on the bench, breathless.
He nudged you with his shoulder. âNot bad for someone who claims to hate running.â
âDonât get used to it,â you huffed. âIâm just letting you win.â
He laughed and then suddenly turned serious, eyes soft. âYou know, itâs crazy how fast this feels like more than just three days.â
You blinked, heart thudding. âYeah?â
âYeah.â He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, fingers lingering a second too long. âIâm already imagining all the mornings I want to wake up next to you.â
You grinned. âSlow down, Speed Racer.â
He leaned in, brushing his lips against yours, quick but sweet. âIâm just getting started.â
______________
join my permanent taglist
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
nothing will ever make me laugh harder than that photo of blonde seungkwan surrounded by a bunch of fans with blonde wigs
709 notes
¡
View notes
Text
shiny star / kim mingyu

â Mingyu x Reader (ft. Jungkook, Chaeyoung, Chungha, etc.)
â shiny star!au // university!au // non idol!au // friends to ??? // fluff //Â slice of life
â word count: 5.9~k
â warning: curses, food, mingyu is flirty (??) but not a playboy, he's way too perfect lol, basketball captain!gyu, OC is cool af according to međ
â inspired by: Shiny Star (2020) - KyoungSeo
â shiny star playlist //  Shiny Star masterlist (can be read as standalone)
Seungcheol // Jeonghan // Joshua // Junhui // Soonyoung // Wonwoo // Jihoon // Seokmin // Mingyu // Minghao // Seungkwan // Hansol // Chan
A/N: as you've all guessed, here's Mingyu's Shiny Star! happy birthday, Gyu! this was fun to write and i'm pretty happy with how it turned out aha. hopefully yall would like this as much as i do, and pls do drop by and tell me what you think of this after you read
ě¨ě´ ę°ë ě°¨ěŹëźě ě돴 ë§ íě§ ëŞťíëë° I couldnât say anything because Iâm out of breath
ëë ë§ ěě´ ěěźëа ë´ ě ěĄěě¤ŹěŁ But you took my hands without saying anything but a smile
[âžâžâž]
This would sound annoying, but Mingyu is used to getting confessions. He enjoys the attention, enjoys knowing that people admire him even though he barely does anything. Yes, heâs handsome, has good grades, and is the star of the basketball team, but they all come effortlessly to Kim Mingyu.
He is Godâs favorite, after all.
You genuinely think that whatever religion Mingyu believes in, every god thatâs in charge of grace all helped to shape him.
But itâs not always a good thing. Because, fuck, itâs so stupid that your heart flutters when he grins at the audience after shooting a three-pointers. Heâs not even looking at you, and heâs so cocky because he salutes to everyone as he runs through the court to hug his teammates. And yet butterflies would fly like crazy inside you and you want to hate it but you donât.
Another reason why itâs stupid: you didnât realize youâve been staring at himâwell, really, youâre staring at a random spot behind him because youâre zoning out, but it is him in your mind, soâuntil Mingyu tilts his head and asks if thereâs something in his face because youâve been staring at him for the past five minutes.
You blink at the question, as if brought back from a trance, and Mingyu chuckles and shakes his head before pouring water in the empty glass in front of you.
âYou havenât even drunk that much.â He grins as you thank him and take the water.
Youâve somehow been roped into the basketball teamâs celebratory dinner, along with Chungha and Chaeyoung who are sitting on the other side of the table. Well, not somehow, you guess, because youâre friends with those two girls (who basically possess free passes to every social function in the university) and your childhood friend, Jeon Jungkook, is also in the team. Which means, you actually hang out a lot with the guysâand that includes Mingyu.
Heâs barely even a friend despite your embarrassing crush, and youâre not that close even if you hang out a lot with the team.
âWhatâs bothering you?â Jungkook plops down beside you once Chungha goes to the restroom. Heâs noticed youâve been distracted from earlier, but you donât seem to be in a bad mood or anythingâsimply too deep in your own thoughts.
You consider shaking your head and telling him nothing. What can you say anyway? âNo biggies, I just have a crush on your captain here.â
âJust⌠something.â You leave it at that.
Jungkook isnât the closest friend you have and you donât always tell him everything, but heâs known you for way too long to know how to read your body language and your mood. Which is cool, but not really when you feel like hiding something.
That, together with his curiosity and his tendency to pry when he has nothing else to care about is not a combination youâre particularly fond of.
He narrows his eyes at you, and before he can say anything, you take a spoonful of cake and shove it inside his mouth with an innocent smile. Mingyu chuckles from across you both, and Jungkook glares at you even though he happily swallows the cake and frowns in delight after.
âIâm not letting this go.â He says under his breath before throwing an arm on top of your chair.
âWhatever you say.â You roll your eyes. âDonât you have some girl to flirt with? Why are you here?â
âWhat, I canât be with you? The oldest friend I have in my life?â He mocks a heartache, which you donât even pretend to care about. Jungkook doesnât usually sit beside you during this kinda gathering because someone always pulls him first, and youâre sure he wants something from you. He pouts at your deadpanned eyes. âMy social battery is out. I want to go home.â
âIâm not your mom.â
âThey wonât let me go if I ask.â He whines like a kid. âTell them you want to go home so I can go with you? Please?â
Mingyu watches the interaction in amusement. He knows a lot of people envy you for being able to bring this side out of Jungkook, but anyone with a working brain cell can tell that thereâs nothing sort of romantic between you two. Even from the very first time he saw you, he could already tell that you and Jungkook are nothing but friends.
But sometimes people just see what they want to see, though fortunately you donât seem to care about stuff like that. Mingyu doesnât know you well enough, but itâs clear that youâre your own person and you donât really care about what people say about you.
Heâs seen first hand you ignoring some girl saying shit in front of your face due to your close relationship with Jungkook, simply saying âyou done? I have class in ten minutesâ after they rambled and leaving them dumbfounded after. (He thinks youâre so cool after witnessing that by accident.)
Itâs not a secret that Jungkook is protective of you though. He always is when it comes to his friends. And Mingyu also knows that some of his friends have backed out from shooting their shots because they donât want to go through Jungkook.
Cowards.
If he was interested in you, he wouldnât care all that much about Jungkook.
Alas.
âIâll take you to that dessert place in Cheongdam if we go home now.â He hears Jungkook whisper, though he doesnât see why the guy is whispering when no one seems to be listening to his hushed conversation with you except for him, that is.
âYouâre paying.â You add before you stand up and announce youâre tired so youâre taking Jungkook home with you. Some people try to convince you to stay for a little bit more, but you make up some reasons about having to wake up early tomorrow.
âCanât believe youâd use your friend like that, man.â Mingyu jokes when you leave to say bye to Chaeyoung and Chungha.
Jungkook shrugs. âThatâs what friends are for.â
You tell Jungkook youâre ready to leave, and he immediately stands up from his seat and slings an arm around your shoulder. You give Mingyu a smile and a wave before proceeding to do the same to everyone else.
He fails to notice your shy demeanor when your eyes meet his, but Jungkook doesnât and he brings it up the moment youâre inside the comfort of his car.
âSo. Mingyu, huh?â
At this point, youâre not even surprised. But youâre going to play stupid first because why make it easy for him to pry?
âWhatâs with him?â
âDonât play dumb.â
âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
âSince when have you been crushing on him?â He shoots straight to it, and plasters his face right in front of yours.
You swat his face away and tell him to start the car already.
âIâm not doing shit until you tell me.â
âI thought you said youâre out of social battery?â
âYou know you donât count.â
âOh, how special Iâm feeling right now.â
You and Jungkook go into a stare off, and itâs during times like this that you hate his big, circle eyes because they get on your nerves. You sigh and repeat what you said earlier, saying that youâll tell him as he drives you back home.
âYou know Iâm not going to say anything about it, right?â Jungkook says just in case.
âI know. I simply didnât tell you because itâs nothing but a crush.â You connect your phone to his carâs bluetooth, choosing a random playlist on your Spotify. âI donât like him enough for it to be worth mentioning.â
Apparently, he doesnât believe this.
âSince when?â
âWhy does it matter?â
âSince when?â
You sigh, regretting giving in to him.
âLike⌠a few months ago? That time you had practice until 1 in the morning and you asked me to pick you up.â
Jungkookâs answer is immediate together with a click of his tongue. âThatâs not a crush alright. That was almost a semester ago.â
âAlmost. So itâs not a semester ago.â If he wants to play stubborn, so can you. Â
âIf you donât like him enough, you wouldnât be avoiding his eyes and zone out the way you did.â
âSo, Iâm a little shy, is that wrong?â
He softens at your defensive tone, and he takes one of your hands to squeeze it in comfort before letting it go.
âYou know thatâs not what I mean. Sure, letâs say itâs nothing but a crushââ
ââbecause it isââ
ââWhy are you not doing anything about it? Itâs been at least five months and you see him quite regularly.â
âI told you. Itâs just a crush.â You shrug, failing to see why Jungkook is making a big deal out of this. âI donât see us getting together. Heâs way out of my league.â
Jungkook is actually so shocked he steps on the brake with a sudden force. Thankfully, itâs 11PM on a Thursday night and the road is practically empty.
âWhat the fuck do you mean heâs out of your league?â Heâs offended for your sake, you realize, and while it warms you a little to know that he cares about you to this extent, you still donât see why Jungkook is so adamant about this whole thing. âHeâd be lucky to have you.â
âDunno. Just feel that way. But like I said, itâs nothing but a crush, Kook. Itâll pass.â
Heâs not satisfied with this answer, but you do that thing where you cross your arms and look out the window of his car, a sign that youâre done with this conversation.
So Jungkook drops it even though heâs skeptical itâll really pass just like that. Itâs not often that youâre interested in someone, and he knows for a fact that you tend to fall long and deep.
You ask him when heâll be free to take you to the dessert place he promised earlier.
[âžâžâž]
Jungkook forgets time when heâs playing basketball, and it seems like heâs also forgotten heâs promised to drive you home today.
The day has felt particularly long for you for no reason and you figure itâs probably just one of those days. Since you woke up this morning, going home is the only thing youâre looking forward to, and if that doesnât say enough, the fact that you donât even have it in you to be annoyed at your friend should suffice because you really just want to go home and end the day.
Thereâs no time nor energy to be annoyed.
He doesnât reply to your text when you ask where he is, and when you text Minghao and he says heâs on court, you simply exhale a deep breath before making your way there.
Mingyu is about to exit the court when you come in, and you don't realize just how bad your mood is until you see him and you donât feel the usual rush of excitement. You donât even register that itâs him until he calls you.
âAre you⌠okay?â He asks when he notices youâve just noticed itâs him greeting you.
âAh⌠yeah. Just one of those days.â You shrug, your smile way too polite for his liking. He doesnât think heâs seen you like this, but, then again, heâs only seen so much of you.
That fact suddenly bothers him somehow.
For some reason, Mingyu feels like talking more. âYouâre here to see Jungkook?â
In any other scenario, you wouldâve noticed the question is stupid. You really only come there for Jungkook. Sometimes youâd go because Chaeyoung or Chungha wants to watch them practice, but you never go there alone if not for your childhood friend. This is a fact that everyone in the team is aware of.
Alas, youâre tired and you just want to go home.
âYeah. Heâs driving me home.â
If Mingyu notices how small your voice is, you donât notice any shift in him because youâre too out of it.
âI donât think heâs going to finish anytime soon.â He frowns, turning to where Jungkook is. The guy hasnât noticed you yet, your figure is probably partly hidden by Mingyuâs and heâs way too focused on the game to see you anyway.
Mingyu isnât sure what makes him say what he says next, but he does anyway.
âDo you⌠want me to bring you home instead?â
Youâre so surprised that you practically snap your neck to finally see him in the eyes. Youâre probably looking at him weird, because Mingyu immediately says heâs simply offering because you look too tired to be waiting around for Jungkook.Â
âOh⌠no, sorry. Just didnât expect you to offer, thatâs all.â You reassure him. âI wouldnât want to burden you, anyway. But thanks for offering.â
âYou sure?â He asks, once again telling you that the current game has just started and Jungkookâs going to take quite some time to finish. âI donât mind, really.â
Tomorrow, when your mood has picked up and your weak-ass-Mingyu-centric heart has started to work again, youâd wonder about why Mingyu offered at all. Youâd be thinking about it for days to come, making all sorts of scenarios in your head.
But thatâs a problem for you tomorrow. Right now you just want to go home with Jungkook because you canât be bothered to walk to the bus stop when he has a perfectly working car that you can let your guard down in.
Plus, he has promised to bring you home. Since you stepped into the university this morning, youâve been imagining going into his car, staring into space, and arriving right in front of your door without much hurdles. Thatâs what you want right now.
Itâs then that Jungkook finally catches your eyes. He takes one glance at you and drops the basketball, the guy in front of him curses until he sees you; seemingly understanding the reason with your presence.
âYou okay?â He asks right away, and when you tell him you want to go home, he curses and apologizes for forgetting to pick you up at your building. He wouldnât be this courteous had you been in your usual mood, probably would ask you to wait until the game ended, but Jungkook knows when not to push it and today is certainly that day. âIâll just get my stuff, okay?â
He only notices Mingyu after he says this, and when he asks his friend what heâs doing with you, itâs you who tells him to move faster because youâre tired.
âIâve never seen Jungkook let go of a basketball so fast.â He remarks after the guy leaves, making you chuckle a little.
âHe knows when Iâm tired.â You offer. âAnd Iâm not tired often, soâŚâ Before Mingyu can say anything, you add, âAnyway, thanks again for offering. I appreciate it.â
âAnytime.â He says, surprisingly genuine and a little bit hopeful with what he says after. âIf Jungkook is ever unavailable, feel free to text me and Iâll take you home instead if I could.â
You wonder if Mingyu does this to everyone he knows.
Chaeyoung and Chungha squeals the next day when you tell them about it, already betting that Mingyu is into you because thereâs no way heâs not interested if he offers (insists?) to take you home like that.
You tell them heâs probably just being nice and it means nothing.
Your head (and heart) disagrees and you continue to think about it for weeks to come.
[âžâžâž]
Unfortunately, Jungkook is correct when he said you like Mingyu a little too much for it to just be another crush.
Youâre not even sure how it comes to be, but the feeling now bothers you because youâd frown when you see yet another poor soul confessing to Mingyu even if theyâre rejected; because youâd look at Lisa and wonder what itâs like to be her who can freely hog Mingyu to herself because theyâre that comfortable with each other; because youâd find yourself staring at him a little too long that Chaeyoung needs to remind you not to be too obvious; because youâd be too conscious around him that youâre not you anymore everytime you hang out with the team now.
You hate it.
You hate being conscious around your friend and youâre trying to find a way to let go of your feelings.
âConfess to him?â Chaeyoung offers. âOr I suppose talking to Jungkook would be better. Heâd know what to say because heâs close with the guy. Or do you want me to ask Lisa? I talk to her from time to time.â
âConfess, huh.â You ponder, the idea has never crossed your mind before. Things might get awkward between you and Mingyu after, but youâll live because itâs not like youâre super close or anything. Thereâs no real loss, if you want to be completely honest.
Perhaps confessing would be the closure you need: have him reject you and move on. Sometimes a cold slap of reality is what you need, anyway.
âYou think I should tell Kook first? Just in case it gets awkward between them?â
âWait, youâre really considering it?â Chungha sits straight, not expecting you to actually take the idea. âWhat if he rejects you?â
âThatâs the goal. Get rejected and move on.â
The two girls share a look, unsure what to say.
âBut⌠youâll be heartbrokenâŚâ
âAt least it means Iâll finally get my closure. Thatâs the first step of moving on.â Youâre a little too cool about the whole thing for their liking, but youâve always been this kind of person and they donât see why they should stop you if you think thatâs what you need.
âYou sure?â
Youâre not, but you donât think you have any other choice and the feeling is starting to get very irritating. So you make your way to the basketball court to find Jungkook after class.
Of course, itâs the object of your affection who sees you first, and you give him a tightlipped smile before asking for your friend.
Apparently, heâs in the changing room, and after sending a junior to call for Jungkook, Mingyu starts a small talk to keep you company. âHeâs taking you home again today?âÂ
âAh, no. Got something to talk about real quick.â You say with an awkward smile. Like you say, you hate being conscious like this, youâre sure Mingyu can feel your awkwardness, and you hate that you mightâve made him uncomfortable too without meaning to.
Poor thing doesnât even know why youâre being awkward.
âSup.â Jungkook calls for you the moment he steps into the court, and you wave at Mingyu before leaving him by himself to go to Jungkook.
He watches you take your friend by the arm to a corner where no oneâs around, and then he sees Jungkook shake his head before you two start whispering to each other. Heâs pretty sure Jungkookâs eyes linger at him for quite a few seconds before he looks at you again, his palm squeezes your arm once before he says something that Mingyu obviously canât make out from where heâs at.
Heâs not sure why heâs paying this much attention, but he is and he wonders if something has happened to you because Jungkook looks concerned, a frown evident on his face. He bites his lip a little, and Mingyu looks away when Jungkook glances at him once more.
Are you two talking about him?
There isnât really anything to talk about though⌠right?
Something nags on the back of his head, but Mingyu canât quite tell what it is and heâs not sure what to make out of it anyway.
Why⌠does he care again?
âYouâre leaving?â Mingyu asks when he sees you make your way to him. At your nod and your small smile, Mingyu finds himself asking before he can even stop himself. âAre you okay?â
You seem surprised, but the corner of your lips lift a little higher when you assure him that youâre fine. You hesitate before you say your next words, but Mingyu patiently waits anyway.
âAre you⌠playing today?â
âMe? No, Iâm done for the day. Why?â
âCan I talk to you for a bit?â
Mingyu blinks in confusion, not seeing where this could be going at all. Does this have to do with whatever you were talking about with Jungkook earlier?Â
âSure.â He shrugs. And when he looks around, his eyes meet Jungkookâs whose expression isnât all that readable. âHere?â
You end up somewhere outside the building, where itâs quiet and no oneâs present. If Mingyu isnât too caught up in concern, he would notice that this scenario is way too familiar; one that heâs gone through one too many times. After all, how many times have people told him they needed to tell him something and brought him somewhere quiet to confess?
But it doesnât even occur to him. Perhaps he simply doesnât think youâre into him and thereâs obviously no way this talk would go down that road.
âAre you really okay?â Mingyu asks again, even more concerned this time. Itâs then that he realizes that this is the first time when itâs just the two of you. Youâve never talked with him privately before, donât really have any reason to.
âYeah. Just need to tell you something.â
You feel like youâre going to burst if you delay it even one more second, so you just blurt it in one go to get it over with.Â
âI like you.â
Obviously, itâs not something that Mingyu can simply get over with.
âIâm sorry?â
He looks extremely confused, most likely caught off guard. But youâre happy to know that youâre feeling lighter now that youâve let it out there. You find yourself not really caring about what Mingyu has to say, which is selfish on your part, but youâre really just glad that you feel better almost instantly after you say it out loud.
âIâm not expecting anything, donât worry.â Itâs the first time Mingyu has received a confession where the other party doesnât seem shy and expectant and heâs not sure what to make of your relieved smile. âItâs a little selfish of me, but I just think itâd be better to confess and leave it there.â
Youâre way too busy being glad to notice Mingyu is frozen in place, not expecting the relief to be that instant. You wouldâve confessed earlier if you knew, but what matters is you finally did and you can only hope Mingyu wonât feel awkward with Jungkook. You can just not come to the game for a bit if itâs uncomfortable for anyone, but Jungkook is in the team and youâd hate to make it weird for them.
âAnyway, no need to be awkward with Jungkook, alright? I already told him everything.â What did you say to him, exactly? Mingyu wants to ask, but heâs too dumbfounded to even say anything. And itâs when you tell him thatâs all you had to say before turning to leave that he snaps out of it and takes your arm in reflex.
âSorryâwait. No.â He stumbles over his words. The way youâre looking at him in question is adorable, and Mingyu suddenly wonders if youâve always been this cute. Has he simply not realized because youâre always with Jungkook?Â
Anyhow, this doesnât feel like a confession at all despite your honesty about your feelings. Who confesses and leaves before hearing an answer?
You, apparently.
But, then again, what is he doing stopping you from leaving? Itâs not like he reciprocates your feelings or anything. But it feels weird to be on the receiving end of a confession like this. Shouldnât he thank you for not making him reject you?
âWait. You⌠like me?â
âIs it weird?â You frown, almost offended. You look at his fingers on your wrist, and Mingyu squeezes it once before letting go.
âNo! No, thatâs not what I meant.â He waves in denial. âJust⌠uh⌠didnât expect it, I guess.â
You laugh with a shake of your head, and this is truly the first confession Mingyu has ever received in which the other person isnât nervous and isnât asking for a chance. Youâre not even showing any sign of being shy.Â
If anything, you look even more relaxed than before.
âWell, like I said Iâm not expecting anything from you.â Mingyu wonders if youâve ever smiled this big around him before. Heâs pretty sure you havenât, because he would remember a smile this beautiful otherwise. âSo, no need to say anything back and, again, donât be awkward with Jungkook, okay? If itâs uncomfortable for you, I can just not go to the games for a while.â
Are you seriously thinking about him being awkward with Jungkook when itâs you confessing to him right now?
âYou donât need to⌠uh⌠not go.â Mingyu stutters out of nowhere, and he curses himself for being awkward when you donât even seem uncomfortable in the slightest bit. âWe donât need to be awkward, right?â
You shrug, your face void of any awkwardness. âIf you say so. Iâll be on my way now. Thank you for not being weird about this, by the way.â
And as you leave him with a much better mood he found you in earlier, Mingyu wonders why he feels like heâs the one being rejected when itâs you confessing to him.
[âžâžâž]
You have expected Mingyu to be a little weird and awkward around you after the confession.
But you didnât expect him to be around you.
It seems like, after the whole thing, heâs adamant to be close to you everytime he could. Heâd sit beside you when you join team dinner, heâd accompany you when youâre waiting for Jungkook, and heâd even reply to your Instagram stories from time to time.
You donât think too much about it, though it does annoy you a little because itâs making moving on harder. At least youâre no longer conscious around him and the others, which was the most annoying thing before and what drove you to confess in the first place.
Chaeyoung and Chungha (even Jungkook) ask you about it from time to time, but youâre consistent in your answer: that thereâs nothing going on between you two and you simply confessed for the sake of confessing.
Itâs been about a month since you confessed and Mingyu is immensely confused.
For someone who claims to like him, youâre not showing any sign that youâre into him at all. If anything, you seem uninterested; like heâs just a friend of a friend (which he kinda is). At some point, Mingyu even wonders if youâre simply messing with him.
He also wonders if thatâs the reason why he starts paying attention to you instead. He becomes conscious of your presence, and he dares to say heâs enjoying it.
He finds himself smiling when you do, and he finds himself leaning to where youâre at every chance he gets.
And now, he finds himself thinking why you confessed the way you did. Why didnât you ask for a chance? Mingyu is straightforward when it comes to turning down confessions, but he suddenly wonders if heâd try it out with you had you not simply gone on your way that day.
If thereâs one thing Mingyu is bad at, itâs containing his curiosity. That, along with the fact that you seem pretty chill, pushes him to where heâs at right now: with you in the bubble tea place in front of university.
Jungkook and Minghao are whining for some, and when you volunteer to get it for them, it leads to a couple of other members of the team to ask the same too. Before Jungkook sighs and offers to go with you, Mingyu volunteers first because he wants to.
There. He admits it. He wants to spend some time with you.
As you two wait for your orders, you both sit at one of the tables and thatâs when Mingyu decides to ask.
âCan I ask you something?â
âHm?â
âWhen you⌠uh⌠confessed to me.â You donât seem appalled to be talking about it, which encourages Mingyu to continue. âWhy⌠Did you say youâre not expecting me to answer?â
âUh, because I know youâre not into me? I know youâre going to reject me anyway.â
Mingyu frowns, his fingers that are drumming against the table stop at your words. âWhy would you assume that?â
âWell, am I wrong?â You chuckle, and he doesnât know what to make of your nonchalance. But he knows that it bothers him that you automatically think heâd reject you. Is that the kind of image you have of him? (Itâs not entirely untrue, he is clear when it comes to rejection.) Or do you simply think he wouldnât be into you?
âWhat if I say you are?â Mingyu decides to go for it. What he feels for you is not strong enough to be called âloveâ, maybe not even âlikeâ just yet, but heâs definitely into you and the thought of spending time with you has been clouding his thoughts over and over again like a heavy rain these days.
He can definitely seeânoâfeel himself falling for you deeper as time passes by. He just needs more time to get there, preferably with you.
âWhat are you saying?â You shake your head, trying to hide the fact that youâre flustered like your heart isnât beating way too fast that it almost hurts. What is he saying, really?
âGo on a date with me.â
âNo.â
Mingyu blinks, sure that heâs heard wrong. âNo?â
But youâre clear when you repeat your answer.
âWhat do you mean no?â He asks, genuinely confused. âDidnât you just say you liked me, like, a month ago?â
âI told you I simply confessed for the sake of it.â You remind him, though your calm tone relaxes him in ways he canât really explain. Perhaps heâs just glad youâre not making a big deal out of it. âIâve never had any thoughts of dating you.â
âWhy?â
âYouâre you.â You say like itâs obvious, but Mingyu is once again offended for you and he frowns before he asks.
âWhat does that even mean?â
âYouâre Kim Mingyu, the basketball star with the perfect GPA.â You start to list all of his titles and his accomplishments in university, and itâs the first time that Mingyu doesnât feel good at someone complimenting him. For once, heâs not all that proud of those things youâve just listed down. âAnd Iâm⌠me. People probably only know me as Jungkookâs close friend. Chaeyoung and Chunghaâs plain friend. And I donât mind being known as such, but it should explain why I donât think I have any chance with you.â
Mingyu frowns, and he stares at you a little too hard that you canât tell at all what heâs trying to express.
âI donât like how you imply youâre not exceptional.â
âBecause I am not.â You shrug, not getting why Mingyu sounds upset. âAnd itâs okay. Nothing bad about being ordinary. I like being ordinary. I canât imagine getting all that attention you get everywhere you go.â
Mingyu kind of gets what youâre saying, but he still doesnât like that you consider yourself ordinary. Nothing, not one single thing, that youâve done to him has been ordinary. Not the way you confessed, not the way you act after you confessed, not the words youâre telling him right now.
And, now that heâs been paying more attention to you, nothing you do is sort of ordinary. Youâre straightforward when you need to be, and you know exactly what you want and how to say them without sounding demanding. Youâre not soft spoken and he means it in the best way possible, youâre good at reading the room and you know when to play dumb if thatâs what the situation calls for. You know when to prioritize yourself and when you should prioritize your friends without being too selfless nor selfish.
If someone like you is what you consider ordinary, he doesnât know what kind of person youâd consider special.
To Mingyu, youâre already as special as someone can possibly be.
How can you be ordinary if you confessed and then said ânoâ when the said person asked you out on a date?
Wait. Did you think he was kidding?
âAnyway, I wasnât kidding when I asked if you want to go on a date with me.â
âAnd I wasnât kidding when I said no.â You chuckle a little, making Mingyu all the more confused.
âWhy?â
âI told you. Youâre Mingyu.â When he demands more explanation with the look in his eyes, you finally give in to honesty. âYouâre too handsome. Too perfect, in fact. Itâs burdensome to be with you. I donât feel worthy enough.â You scrunch your face, and Mingyu needs to contain himself before he reaches out to squish your face.Â
Funnily enough, Mingyu doesnât feel offended when you say this, just entirely dumbfounded that the things that are supposedly good are the reason why you donât want to go on a date with him. Plus, what do you mean youâre not worthy enough?
âIâm nothing like that. No one is perfectâ
You roll your eyes and wave a hand in dismissal. âYeah, yeah. Whatever. Youâre still too handsome. If youâre, like, only a little handsome, I wouldâve said yes.â
Mingyu bursts into laughter, not getting what youâre saying at all and finding the whole thing funny at this point. But if thereâs one thing you shouldâve known about him, itâs that heâs stubborn and heâs competitive.
Heâs not the basketball captain for no reason.
âYou know youâre not making any sense?â He asks after his laughter dies down. But then something hits his mind and he gets serious. âDo you not like me anymore?â
âI still do.â You reassure, much too chill like the feeling doesnât bother you. Should Mingyu be grateful? âBut I told you youâre too handsome and a little burdensome to date. Thatâs why I confessed, did I not tell you? I just wanted you to reject me and move on from then.â
Mingyu blinks once. And then twice. Mouth a little ajar as his head tries to proceed your words
Not one single word from your mouth makes sense. Did you just say you confessed to him because you want to get rejected? Anyhow, now he knows you still like him and that leaves him one thing to do: convince you to go on a date with him.
âThereâs no way Iâm letting you move on.â He grins, now sure about his plan moving forward. You look at him confused, though he can tell that youâre a little flustered and he canât help but think he wants to see more of that. âYouâre going on a date with me, alright?â
You huff a chuckle, incredulous, and one corner of your lip lifts in genuine amusement. âI guess if youâre able to convince me somehow.â
âDeal.â Mingyu grins and you feel giddiness fill you inside out like never before as he stares at you with determination. âRemember that you allowed me to try. You donât get to complain later on that I wonât stop following you every chance I get.â
[âžâžâž]
Šwonwoonlight â all rights reserved. I donât allow any translations or reposting of my works.
A/N: so here goes the latest shiny star!! this is both "Mingyu's birthday is closeby" and "I got a sudden strike of inspiration" lol. i finished writing this in like,, 2, 3 days? anyhow, i hope you like this as much as i do. pls do tell me what you think of it <;3 again, i didn't think shiny star would get to this point when i wrote wonwoo's lol but i'm thankful a lot of you seems to like it hehe
permanent taglist: @kyeomjjigae @stantrash171819 @sebongmochi @luveveryonewoo @thinkinboutwonu @kpopjackie @ursweetener @lavenderautumnx @itsveronicaxxx @shuahoshiscoups @sunshinein17@leechanniee@twogyuu@hoe4wonwoo@h3h3tm0n@noraehey @seokshook@rubyhoons @02psh @just-here-to-read-01 @listxn @janandbeyond @pearlygraysky @baekhyunstruly @svtreverie @coveyland @reallydgafaboutmyusername @sysymei @ovai @aikisbbq @fr0g-filez
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
what is love? | chs
Pairing: Chwe Vernon x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: Itâs been 2 days since you confessed to your best friend that you love him, and itâs been 2 days since youâve talked to him. Now you're hiding in the bridal suite of your friend's wedding, avoiding him.
Content: Angst, Fluff, Comfort | Friends to Lovers
Tags: bridesmaid!reader, groomsman!vernon, insecure reader, jihyo appears, dino's getting married in this one lolz, intense pining, lots of internal spiraling, vernon's facial expressions get flamed, 2 kdrama fall moments, a little konglish w/ translations, a kiss, no "y/n"
Word Count: 6.4K
Masterlist
What is love? If you didnât know any better, youâd say that itâs what you feel for Chwe Vernon. Unfortunately for you, though, you really didnât know any better, and now youâre facing the consequences of your actions.Â
Itâs been two days since you confessed to your best friend that you love him, and itâs been two days since youâve talked to the man. Honestly, you have no one to blame but yourself, but youâve convinced yourself that itâs everyone elseâs fault for encouraging you. Maybe, if they hadnât kept pushing you to confess to himâinsisting that he definitely was into youâthen you wouldnât be in this position.Â
Said position involves taking turns hiding in the bridal suite and bathroom of this wedding venue. In fact, youâre so committed to your act that youâve practically become one with the shadows.
If anything, Vernon should be grateful that youâre going out of your way to avoid him. That way, he wouldnât get bombarded with the secondhand embarrassment from remembering that horrible day.Â
The only reason youâre here right now is because both Chan and his bride are close friends of yours, and you wouldnât want to miss their wedding for the world. Plus, youâre also a bridesmaid.Â
It was on you for blurting a disastrous confession to Vernon a few hours after the wedding rehearsal.Â
But the bride and groom donât even know that things have changed between the two of you. Given the chaos of wedding preparations, you withheld the fact that you and Vernon are going through a rough patch right nowâif not the end of the friendship entirely. You didnât want to add to their stress, but now you feel like youâre on fire.Â
After all, Vernon is one of the groomsmen. Whatâs worse is, the wedding plans involve bridesmaids and groomsmen walking down the aisle in pairs, and youâd been placed with Vernon without a second thought.Â
In other words, youâre completely screwed.Â
âT-minus 20,â your friend and fellow bridesmaid Jihyo says, nudging your side. âWe should go now.â
You feel a faint pulsing at the forefront of your head, a headache creeping up on you. God, what if when he sees you, he shakes his head and makes an X or something with his hands, insisting that he wonât walk down with you? What if he finds you physically embarrassing to be around, and just walks away? Youâve been running away from him all day, so it might not be a stretch to consider that he might have been trying to get away from you, too.Â
You groan, scrunching the root of your hair, somewhat messing up your carefully curled hair. No, he wouldnât just leave, that would ruin the wedding. He has too much love for Chan to do that to him. If he protests, heâd either do it subtly right before or confront you after itâs all over.Â
You shut your eyes and take a deep breath. No one knows about your falling out except for you. And, well, Vernon, of course, but thatâs not who you have to keep this secret from. You have to do your best to act normal and not at all like your heart is on the verge of bursting.Â
âHas anyone ever died of embarrassment?â you suddenly ask, fingers dancing to find something to channel your nervous energy into. You fist a bit of the dress youâre wearing, then release it when you realize you canât wrinkle the pretty material. âShit.â You smooth over the fabric with shaky, sweaty hands.
âWhat is going on with you?â Jihyoâs eyes narrow as she looks you over.Â
âIâll tell you later,â you manage, bouncing your leg up and down.Â
âLater, as in when?âÂ
âAfter the wedding,â you grit. You want to bury your face in your hands, but the expensive makeup gives you pause. You settle for lowering your head, staring listlessly at the white tiles on the ground.Â
âIs this about what happened with Vernon?âÂ
You whip your head up. âYou know?â
Jihyo slowly blinks, then deadpans, âUh, yeah? A, both of you have been weird. The last time I saw you two not together was like, five years ago. And B, youâre literally the least subtle person Iâve ever met.â
âOh,â you squeak, then quickly ask, âWait, what do you think happened with Vernon?â
She stares blankly at you, as if the answer is obvious. âYou confessed. He said nothing. You ran away.â
Your eyebrows shoot up, eyes growing comically large. Then, a frown replaces your shock. You donât need to ask her how she knows. If anything, it just adds to the notion that even your other friends knew that he wouldâve rejected you.
Jihyo sighs, coming over to the loveseat to sit next to you. She gives you a warm side hug, rubbing your back. âHeâs a massive idiot. Itâs gonna be okay. Letâs just get it together for the wedding, hmm?â
You swallow roughly, then nod.Â
She continues, âSeriously, though. Iâve known Vernon for almost as long as you have. Heâs not great at talking when heâs caught off guardâyou know that, too.â
You blink at her words, the tiniest spark of hope igniting in your chest. But you quickly stamp it out, remembering the face he had made when you blurted out that you loved him.
Brows furrowed, open-mouthed, eyes wide, dead silentâhe had to have been looking at you with disgust. That was the only way any sane person could decipher that look, really! There was no way that that face was the look of a man who was in love with you, as your friends have claimed.
âIt doesnât matter,â you say, wrinkling your mouth into a smile that anyone could tell was faked. âIâll get through it.â
âYeah, itâs not that deep. Just walk down the aisle with him. Itâll take 10 seconds, tops.â
Youâre very sure sheâs exaggerating, but you wave it off. âIâm fine.â
âYou donât look fine,â she says dryly.
You glare at her. âIâll be fine.â
âGood, thatâs the right mentality,â she says, clasping your shoulders, shaking your upper body. âíě´í
! [Fighting!]â
âí´ěźě§, [gotta do it,]â you mutter.Â
Jihyoâs right. Youâll have to see Vernon anyway, so you might as well do it with as much dignity as you can scrap together.Â
Except, the little dignity you have left demands some more time to procrastinate and linger in your regret.
Jihyo stands up from the couch, but you donât. Your limbs feel impossibly heavy, as if theyâve been held down by a massive boulder.
You groan, âJust go without me, Iâll leave soon. I wanna go as late as possible.âÂ
Jihyo looks at you with what you can only describe as immense pity. âOkay. Iâll see you in five?âÂ
You nod numbly, watching her walk away to open the doors of the bridal suite.Â
Vaguely, you can hear some absentminded chatter across the room from the hair and makeup artists, mother of the bride, and maid of honor, all crowded over the bride. Itâs all but a buzz in the back of your mind, though, since youâre preoccupied with trying to convince yourself that you have it in you to face Vernon. Knowing you only have five minutes before needing to walk down the aisle with him, your mouth feels dryâtoo dry.Â
At that realization, you force your heavy limbs to get up, then walk over the fancy rug to the table where a myriad of miscellaneous objects have been strewn about. You reach for your bag to take out your water bottle, but your hands falter when you look at the little keychain attached to the bag.Â
Itâs a silver charm bracelet youâve repurposed as a bag charm. It has a turtle and retriever puppy on it, representing the animals youâve viewed each other as being. Seeing the charms causes a pang of longing to cut deep into you, reminding you of how much youâve missed him in the last two days.Â
Could you ever forgive yourself for ruining your precious friendship? For getting too greedy, for asking for too much?Â
Your hands grip the edge of the table roughly, searching for something to stabilize your body, which is dangerously teetering in the high heels you had convinced yourself youâd be able to walk properly in. Youâd bought it because the color of the shoe perfectly matches your dress, but the razor thin heel is proving to be an issue.Â
Subconsciously, your hand reaches out from the table corner to your bag, gently rubbing the golden retriever charm Vernon always said looked like you, and youâre hit with a sudden intense wave of sadnessâbut not for the confession.Â
No, instead, you turn your regret to the insecure internal ramblings that have ravaged you lately.Â
The earnest, bright eyes of the little puppy charm makes you conscious of the hollow ache spreading throughout your body. How could you have been so mean to your poor, fragile heart?Â
Alright, maybe you and Vernon wouldnât be friends anymore. Maybe you would have to live without seeing him ever again.Â
But youâd have to live with yourself, and it wasnât right to treat yourself like this.Â
Technically, Vernon didnât even say anything to you. He didnât outright reject you just yet, and he certainly didnât say you werenât someone worthy of love. So it was completely unfair for you to jump to those conclusions yourself, putting words in his mouth.Â
And most of all, it would be even more unfair to you, represented by this adorable puppy charm, to lose yourself to heartbreak.Â
Straightening your back, your other hand reaches into your bag for your water bottle. Upon chugging the remainder of the water, you close your eyes, concentrating on making your pulse slow down. It works, and you breathe a sigh of relief.
You might have to live with the fallout of this confession, but you could also live with the truth. Loving Vernon wasn't a mistake, and it wouldn't feel like one, no matter how he responded. He deserved honesty, and you deserved to stand by it. Even if this was the end, you wanted to leave this part of your story knowing you'd done right by both of you.Â
You nod to no one in particular, having made your mind up. After the wedding, youâll go to him and be upfront about it all, bearing your soul to his response.Â
For now, though, youâll help him enjoy the wedding by continuing to stay out of his sight. If he canât see you, he canât get reminded of his need to reject youâwhich is important, of course, because you donât want his memories of this wedding to be of you crying after he lets you down.Â
With this renewed clarity, you steady yourself. Vernon doesnât love you, and thatâs okay. Youâd do enough loving for the both of you.
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ
Vernon steps into the bridal suite, a thrum of nerves coursing through his veins. Heâs spent the past half-hour searching for you in every nook and cranny of the venue, dodging curious glances and knowing jokes from the other groomsmen about his obvious distraction. Jihyoâs the one who finally pointed him in the right direction, murmuring something about how itâs been over five minutes, and how heâs the only one who can get you to show up.
When he sees you standing by the table, shoulders tense, your hands gripping the edge like itâs the only thing keeping you upright, his breath catches. There you are, beautiful and strong and fragile all at once, lost in your thoughts. His chest constricts. How did it come to this? How did the best thing in his life become the one thing he feels heâs on the verge of losing?
âHey,â he says softly, taking a step forward, calling your name softly.
Your head snaps up at the sound of his voice, and the sudden movement sends you teetering in your high heels. Eyes wide, you twist toward him, your balance faltering. âVernon?â
It happens in a split second. One of your heels trips on the edge of the rug, and you stumble forward. Vernon darts forward instinctively, grabbing you just before you hit the ground. His arms wrap around you tightly, steadying you.
For a moment, everything stops. Leaning against his chest, you can hear his heartbeat, a frantic rhythm that matches your own. God, your near face plant must have scared him a lot?
But just as you start to regain your footing, your heel accidentally digs into his foot, and he lets out a yelp of pain.Â
The abrupt shift in weight sends him off balance, and the two of you tumble onto the floor in a tangled heap.
Thereâs a beat of silence, and then Vernonâs crazy seagull call of a laugh cuts through the tension.Â
Itâs infectious, and before you know it, youâre both laughing, the sound filling the room. Itâs ridiculous, itâs messy, and itâs the most alive youâve felt in days.
When your body relaxes all of its tension, you realize that youâve missed him with every fiber of your being. That something in you has been waiting for him, like youâve been in withdrawal without hearing his laughter in the last two days.Â
Youâd planned on continuing to avoid him until the end of the wedding, so that he could enjoy his night without you, but that idea is crumbling right before your eyes. You might not be able to bring yourself to stay away from him any longer.Â
And then, oh, thenâthe laughter fades, and you realize how close you are.Â
Vernonâs face is inches from yours, his warm breath fanning across your skin. His eyes, dark and soft, hold a depth of emotion that makes your stomach twist. And for a fleeting moment, you think you see something raw and unguarded in his gazeâsomething youâve seen before.Â
Itâs how he looked when you confessed to him.
Your chest tightens, and your thoughts spiral. Is he mad, reminded of your confession?Â
You scramble to put distance between you, pushing yourself off him and stepping back hastily. Too hastily, really.
âIâm so sorry,â you stammer, smoothing down the fabric of your dress as if that will somehow restore your composure. âI didnât mean to, I swearââ
âItâs okay,â Vernon says gently, sitting up.Â
He reaches an arm out for you, but youâve already retreated several steps, an apologetic smile plastered on your face.
âWe should get going,â you say, your tone overly formal. âItâs almost time.â Without waiting for his response, you turn on your heel and stride toward the door, your movements stiff and hurried.
Vernon watches you go, his hand dropping to his side. He flexes it, then exhales sharply, frustration bubbling beneath the surface of his calm exterior.Â
Youâre running again, and heâs running out of time to fix this.Â
Pushing himself to his feet, he follows you out of the suite, his long strides easily catching up to you.
The two of you arrive at the line of bridesmaids and groomsmen just as the coordinator starts organizing everyone into pairs. You avoid Vernonâs gaze, your hands clasped tightly in front of you.Â
But when itâs your turn to step forward, heâs there, holding out his hand to you.Â
It shakes a little, and your breath hitches when you notice a flash of silver on his wrist. Itâs a charm bracelet, and itâs unmistakably the same one youâve kept on your bag for years, the little turtle and retriever puppy charms glinting under the soft light.Â
Surely not?Â
Surely, he doesnât?
Tentatively, you place your hand in his, your fingers trembling. His grip is familiar, warm, and steady, grounding you even as your emotions threaten to overwhelm you.Â
As you walk toward the aisle together, you don't look at whoever you're supposed to be looking at, whether it's the officiant or the people clapping in the crowd. Instead, your eyes are trained on the jewelry peeking out of his sleeve, and how his hand feels so soft and warm and dependable against yours.Â
Then, it suddenly occurs to you that maybe, just maybe, you saw it wrong that day. Maybe he wasnât looking at you like he was appalled by your audacity to tell him your feelings. He might have actually really been confused, allowing for you to misinterpret his surprise for rejection.Â
But as soon as the thought enters your mind, you dismiss it. False hope definitely wouldnât do anything for your precious feelings. Especially when the hope was that Vernon, of all people, would love you as much as you love him.
Desperately avoiding eye contact with the man in question, you stare straight at the bridesmaid-groomsman pair in front of you.Â
If Vernon loved you back, then heâd say it. Heâd show it somehow, some day. Today wasnât that day, and thatâs okay.Â
Youâd be alright without him, eventually. Probably. Hopefully?
With that rationale, you do your best to ignore your trembling legs, burning ears, and constricting chest. The bride and groom deserve a perfect procession, and you would play your role well.Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ
It was a beautiful ceremony. And, three hours into the reception, youâre proud to say that youâve survived. Promptly after the procession, you separated from Vernon, finding refuge within the bridesmaid group. Ever since, youâve flitted around different tables, dancing with random people, all in the name of protecting him from seeing you.Â
Youâre actually incredible at avoiding people, if you do say so yourself. Every time youâve seen Vernon within 50 feet of your vicinity, youâve grabbed someone new to dance with or talk to. And for especially close calls, youâve dragged Jihyo into the bathroom.Â
This time, though, youâre hiding in the bathroom without her. Sheâd finally refused to go with you for the nth time. The brat had thrown you to the wolves, essentially. No girl codeâthe nerve of her!
Patting down the roots and length of your hair, which had gotten a bit frizzy, you stare at yourself blankly in the mirror, watching a shiver run down your spine from the cold air-conditioning blasting in the small space.Â
Despite your efforts to calm down, a sigh escapes your mouth, your shoulders feeling far too heavy. What are you doing, hiding?
God, you love him so much. So much that youâre willing to dance around him so he doesnât get reminded of you, so that he doesnât worry about how to reject you all night, so that he can just enjoy the wedding.Â
What even is love?Â
Youâve heard that love is sacrifice, and if what you feel is really love, then, well. Youâll have to try not to love anyone but yourself from now on, because unrequited love is somewhat horrible.Â
Youâll get over him someday, right?Â
Right?
Before you can psych yourself out of leaving the freezing but rather safe haven that is the restroom, you march over to the door with a new mantra. You shake your shoulders and roll your neck, cracking the joints in your fingers.Â
âIâll get over it,â you murmur. âIâm over it. Iâm over it! Over, over, over.âÂ
Pushing the door open, you continue rambling to yourself. âIâll get over it. Over, over, over, over...â
âOver what?â comes a familiar voice.
Oh, shit.
Wide-eyed, you look up to see Vernon blocking your way past the bathroom and back into the hallway leading to the reception.Â
âOh,â you gasp, limbs frozen. your eyes flit back to the door to the womenâs restroom again, contemplating ditching him cheaply (again).Â
Vernon steps closer, his gaze softening as he notices your hesitation. His voice is low and gentleâtoo gentleâwhen he speaks, almost as if heâs unsure how to break the silence.
"Hey," he says softly, his hand reaching out, fingers brushing against your arm. "You don't have to hide from me, yâknow."
You glance up at him, your adrenaline flowing through your veins. You want to back away, to keep putting distance between you, but something about his insistent stare makes your legs freeze.
"I know it's been awkward," Vernon continues, his words more measured now. "But Iâm not trying to make you uncomfortable. I justâI just want to talk." He brings his right hand up to his chest, like heâs swearing that he speaks the truth.Â
You shake your head, your voice trembling. "You donât have to. I donât want to make things worse."
Vernon furrows his brows, stepping closer, as if he canât bear to see you pull away from him again. "You think that running away will fix it? You think I want you to hide from me?"
You swallow hard, avoiding his eyes. "I don't know. This is all new to me."
"Then let me say it.â Vernonâs voice is strangled. "I donât want to lose you, okay? I didnât want it to happen like this, IâŚâ His voice trails off as he clenches his fists, shutting his eyes tightly before opening them again. âPlease donât think I shut you down, I justâI needed some time to process everything. I care about you a lotâso much more than I know how to show, sometimes. Or,â he huffs with red-rimmed eyes, âa lot of the time."
A silence settles between you, thick and heavy, but Vernon doesnât seem to notice. He looks at you with downturned, shining eyes, and you feel your defenses slowly start to crumble.Â
Youâve never seen him so devastated.Â
"Come here," Vernon says softly, his arm reaching out to tug you closer, now fully clinging to your side. "Please donât keep running. Please?â He says the last word like itâs a prayerâand, oh, is it a powerful one.
Every part of your body stiffens, caught off guard by how warm he is, then immediately relaxes at how gently heâs holding you, as if you would break if he held on any tighter.
"Please donât run from me anymore," he whispers, his breath hot against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.Â
You think you could melt into his arms, and it takes everything within you to trust him, to not back away like you have for the past two days. With each passing second, you feel your spine relaxing and leaning into his touch. Then, in the midst of your relaxation, it occurs to you that heâs awaiting your reply.
But before you can answer his pleas, the sound of hurried footsteps echoes through the hallway. Jumping apart like fugitives before the law, you both turn to see Jihyo skidding around the corner, her face flushed with panic.
âThere you are!â she exclaims, eyes wide. âThe bouquet toss is about to happen! Get over here!âÂ
Before you can even blink, Jihyo grabs your wrist, pulling you away from the delicate warmth of Vernonâs embrace.Â
âNow!â she shouts.Â
You twist your back around to send him a helpless look, and all he gives you is an encouraging nod and the cutest, awkward little wave. You see the sincerity in his boyish smile, which makes your chest feel tight, as if all the air had been sucked from the room. Itâs bad enough for your delicate heart.Â
But then, most wickedly, you catch the adorable, anxious eagerness in his crinkled, watery eyesâand, oh.Â
It really is all over for you, isnât it?
You really wonât be able to love anyone else, will you?Â
There is no âgetting overâ Chwe Vernon.
The last threads of your resolve crumble as you follow Jihyo. You barely register the steps that lead you back into the grand reception hall. She has a vice grip on your wrist, tugging you along with such urgency that your shoes almost trip you on the way inside. The room hums with energy, and you canât help but feel out of place in the frenzy of people excitedly whispering and glancing toward the front.
Everyone has gathered in a semi-circle, eager faces all pointed at the bride, who is holding the bouquet high above her head. Your pulse is speeding up by the second, but itâs not for the reason the other single women are likely nervous for. All you can think about is how youâve been dragged here with nothing but the love you have for Vernonâa deep, endless kind that threatens to burst out of you in a wildly embarrassing public display of affection.
"You're gonna be fine," Jihyo says with a grin, though itâs a little too wide, too bright. Youâre not sure if sheâs referring to the Vernon fiasco or the bouquet toss, but you force a smile back at her anyway.
"Sure I am," you mumble under your breath.Â
She doesnât hear you, or if she does, she doesnât acknowledge that she heard it. Sheâs already turned her attention back to the bride, her arm brushing yours as she steps forward, positioning herself with the other women who are trying to catch the bouquet.
You stand awkwardly behind her at the edge of the crowd of single women, feet shuffling, heart still pounding from your conversation with Vernon.
Then, the live orchestral music shifts, and you feel a slight weight in your stomach, despite knowing the chances of the bouquet toss heading your way is slim to none. Still, itâs happening now, and youâre now on the single ladies floor, so thereâs no backing out.
When you shift your back to brush away some of the hair obscuring your vision, you make eye contact with the very man who has been occupying your every thought this evening. Vernon had probably followed you and Jihyo as she pulled you away, since heâs now standing near you. And, oh, heâs closeâonly an armâs distance or so away from you, standing at the front of the larger crowd.Â
The closer the moment of the throw gets, the harder it is to ignore his burning presence. Heâs standing with a group of other men who are watching the floor full of gorgeous, single women, but his attention is entirely on you.Â
A subtle smile plays at the corners of his mouth, and the air between the two of you suddenly feels too thick. You have so much to say to him, and you donât know how to get it all out in an eloquent way.Â
But your deliberation of what to say to him is cut short by the screams announcing that the bouquet has launched into the air.Â
You lift your chin up, squinting as the light of the chandeliers temporarily blinds you. By the time you blink away the flashing spots in your vision, you see the trajectory of the bouquet.Â
It arcs high above the crowd of waiting women, catching the light as it spins toward the backâtoward you! If you donât move, the bouquet will crash into your face.Â
Your arms instinctively reach for the flowers, reaching beyond what youâd thought was capable for yourself. But the second after your back stretches and feet jump to accommodate the move, your left heel completely gives out, sending your balance completely off-kilter.
Your arms flail uselessly as your ankle sharply twists, and the world tips sideways. The air rushes past your face, cold and sharp, and you brace yourself for impactâready to collide utterly gracelessly with the hard floor. But before gravity can win, a pair of strong hands clamps around your waist, arresting your fall with a jarring yet steady pull.
The warmth of his touch spreads like wildfire through the thin fabric of your dress, grounding you in an instant. Vernonâs hands are firm, almost possessive, his grip both steady and urgent, like heâs afraid to let go.
Your chest presses against his, the faint thud of his heartbeat syncing with the chaotic rhythm of your own. His scent hits you nextâa subtle mix of cedarwood and something distinctly him, crisp and comforting all at once. The tension in your body melts slightly as his arms secure you closer, your trembling legs finding balance in his hold.
âHey,â he says shyly, his breath fanning across the shell of your ear. It sends a shiver down your spine, his words calming and electrifying in equal measure.
Your fingers instinctively clutch at the lapels of his jacket, the soft fabric brushing against your palms, anchoring you to reality. His thumb brushes lightly against your side, the touch barely noticeable yet searing, and the warmth from his body radiates into yours like a shield against the world.
Slowly, he adjusts his grip, one hand sliding to the small of your back, the other ghosting against your shoulder as he steadies you on your feet. The gentleness of his movements is stark against the adrenaline roaring in your ears.
When you finally look up, your breath catches. His face is so closeâcloser than you were when you fell in the bridal suite, closer than youâve ever been before. Close enough to see the individual strands of his long lashes, to see the beautiful shimmer in his brown eyes. His eyes, wide and searching, lock onto yours, the emotions swirling in their dark depths rendering you speechless.
âIâve got you,â Vernon says, his voice barely more than a whisper, but the words reverberate through you like an earthquake. âë¤ěš ë° ěě´? [Youâre not hurt, are you?]â
You shake your head without much thought, the back of your neck and your ears burning up at how tender his touch is.Â
His fingers linger at your waist, the subtle pressure of his touch still burning against your skin. Even as he pulls away just enough to give you space, the absence of his warmth feels like a loss youâre not ready to accept. Without thinking, your hand darts out, fingertips brushing against the sleeve covering the charm bracelet you saw during the procession.
And thatâs when you notice the bouquetâclutched awkwardly in your other hand, its delicate petals trembling just as much as you are. The flowers are slightly askew from the near disaster, and it all comes crashing down on you.Â
You wince at the ridiculous public scene youâve made, but the smile that spreads across Vernonâs face is enough to make you forget about everything, humiliation be damned.
âPerfect,â he says softly, though you can hear the teasing edge in his voice. âYou got it, princess.âÂ
Princess, the joke he started calling you after Disney movie marathons in which you mocked the main characters always needing men to save themâyou were definitely having a princess moment right now.
Vernon reaches to brush a strand of hair out of your face, and you feel your cheeks heat from the decidedly intimate nature of his touch.Â
And thatâs when the room erupts.Â
Cheers fill the space as the guests begin clapping, laughing, and shouting in celebration. You see Chan whistle, while his newlywed wife shouts, âFinally!â The noise surges around you, but you canât focus on anything except the way Vernon is looking at you.
You donât know how on earth you could have misinterpreted it beforeâhis wide eyes, slightly furrowed brows, half-open mouth. His Adamâs apple bobs as he swallows thickly, and itâs suddenly clear heâs just as affected as you are.Â
Heâs looking at you like youâre the only one in the room, like youâre the only one he can see.
Heâs looking at you in the same way you look at him.
Your breath catches in your throat as you stare past his shoulders to see the waiting eyes of the entire room. Itâs as though theyâve known all along, most having been there to see the constant teasing, the not-so-secret glances exchanged, and the tension thatâs been building for what feels like ages. Everyone knew before you two did, really.
The realization hits you all at once, and a nervous laugh escapes you. Youâre caught in the actâthe act of loveâand thereâs no denying it.Â
You exchange an uncertain look with Vernon, and something flickers in his eyes. Itâs something deeper, like the three words you told him two days ago, only to be met with silence.
âLooks like itâs fate, huh?â you joke weakly, shaking the bouquet, trying to regain some control over the situation.Â
But Vernon doesnât laugh. His expression just softens, and his voice is so, so deep when he speaks, itâs barely audible over the noise of the guests. âYâknow, you donât have to joke your way out of this.â
You swallow hard, but before you can respond, he steps closer to you, his gaze unwavering, presence overwhelming. He reaches for your hand, gently pulling it into his, where it fits just so, and the warmth of his touch sends a wave of electricity through you.
âYou know Iâve been looking for you, right?â Vernon continues, his voice slightly choked, making your chest tighten. âAll day. All day, yesterday and today. Iâm so sorry I didnât say anything that day. It wasnât because I didnât care, I do,â he pauses, tightening his grasp on you. âItâs because I care too much, really.â
Your breath hitches. What is he saying? Your brain is practically numb from the excessive overthinking youâve been doing for the past two days. He needs to just spell it out.
âWhat?â
Vernon exhales a short laugh, but it doesnât reach his eyes. His hands, buried deep in his coat pockets, tense visibly as his shoulders lift slightly. âI feel like you donât get it,â he says softly, the words teetering on the edge of vulnerability.
Your heart skips a beat. âGet what?â
He looks at youâreally looks at you, staring intensely into your eyes, weighing whether or not to say the next part. His jaw tightens for a brief second, the muscle flexing as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He pulls a hand out of his pocket, raking it through his hair. His fingers linger at the nape of his neck before dropping back to his side, curling loosely as though theyâre bracing for impact.
âThat Iâm here for you,â Vernon says, his voice barely above a whisper. He steps closer, not quite closing the distance but close enough that you can feel the addictive heat radiating off of him. âThat Iâve always been here for you. And notâŚâ He clenches and unclenches his fists. âNot just as a friend.â
Your breath hitches, and you feel his gaze flicker to your lips for the briefest moment before darting back to your eyes. His own are wide, filled with uncertainty but also a quiet kind of determination.
He shifts again, this time slipping his other hand out of his pocket and holding it out, palm up, like an offering. His fingers twitch slightly, betraying his nerves, and you notice a faint redness creeping up his neck, the telltale signs of his composure cracking.
âI didnât say anything sooner becauseâŚâ His voice trails as he bites the inside of his cheek, eyes dropping to the ground. When he looks up again, his expression is raw and completely unguarded. âBecause I didnât want to mess things up. But I canât keep telling myself I donât feel this way. Iâm sorry Iâm so late.â Â
Your chest tightens as his words settle over you, finally registering the weight of them.
âPlease donât get over me,â he says all at once, breathlessly. His eyes are shining, his gaze ever so hopeful.
His hand lingers in the space between you, waiting, hoping.
âPlease?â
You stare at his outstretched hand in disbelief, limbs locked by pure shock. Is this real?Â
You can feel the effort itâs taking for him to stay still, his thumb twitching every few seconds like heâs fighting the urge to pull away and retreat.
When you donât immediately respond, Vernon exhales shakily and starts to pull his hand back, his lips parting as if to apologize.Â
But before he can, your fingers move instinctively, brushing against his.
The contact is brief, but itâs enough to make him freeze. His eyes snap to yours, widening as if he doesnât quite believe what just happened. Slowly, hesitantly, his fingers curl around yours, the warmth of his touch steadying you as much as it does him.
âI mean it. I donât want you to move on, because I love you,â he says shakily. âIâm in love with you, and I donât know if you still feel that way for me, but⌠I need you to know how I feel.â
In the depths of his eyes, you see the vulnerability heâs always tried to hide, the intensity of the emotions heâs been holding back for so long.
And itâs as if the whole room vanishes, leaving just the two of you standing there. The bouquet is forgotten, and so are the guests, their cheers having long faded into the background.
Your heart feels as though itâs about to explode from your chest, but the words spill out before you can think. âI love you, too.â
Vernon brightens, eyes lighting up his, his grin stretching from ear to ear, and you fold. Heâs handsome and sweet and a little awkward and brilliantâand yours.
Before your next breath, heâs leaning forward, closing the distance between you.Â
His lips meet yours in a kiss so soft, so gentle, that you barely feel it at all. Impatient, you eagerly lift your chin up for more of him. Wrapping your arms around his neck, deepening the kissâoh, is it something to live for. You never want to let go. He tastes like chocolate and feels like a dream come trueâheâs your very own prince, if youâre the princess.Â
It feels like the world has finally clicked into place. You and Vernon are on the same page, and itâs indescribable, really.
When the roaring in your ears subsides, you hear some wolf whistles, and you suddenly realize where you are. You barely bring yourself to pull a few inches away from him, laughing softly, and he smiles, his eyes sparkling with so, so much warmth and love. Itâs all for you. And you realize that here, in his arms, you feel full. You feel so warm, so cared for.
This, this is love.Â
Masterlist
Author's Note: he's a bit of a loser in this, but i think he made up for it
Disclaimer: nothing i write is representative of how svt acts off camera, take their names as stand-ins for oc's!!
Taglist: @syluslittlecrows - @junplusone
867 notes
¡
View notes
Text
the xu minghao dilemma
â i was having more fun talking about how objectively and subjectively good i look. â
PAIRING ⸠xu minghao x fem!reader
GENRES ⸠fluff, humor, suggestive, coffee shop au, college au, childhood friends to lovers au
WARNINGS ⸠profanity, slow burn, weed consumption, tooth-rotting fluff, lowkey jeongcheol and verkwan if you squint, everyone being whipped for minghao, a somewhat heated makeout scene, friend group antics as per usual, minghao being the living embodiment of a green flag, ft. yooyeon from triples
SUMMARY ⸠like most film students, you find yourself experiencing the worst creative block of your life when you're tasked to film a documentary for your final project. enter: your old childhood best friend turned stranger, xu minghaoâan (incredibly handsome) ex-dancer and barista who just might be the spark of inspiration you need to make the best film of your academic career. on the flip side, minghao needs this film to win him the scholarship that lets him dance again. despite all, your circumstances don't stop your old, repressed feelings for minghao from resurfacing.
PLAYLIST ⸠insomnia by zerobaseone ⢠kidult by seventeen ⢠meme by &team ⢠heart surf by kep1er ⢠glue song by beabadoobee
WORD COUNT ⸠20,606 words
AUTHORâS NOTE ⸠this is for user junyangis my favorite bot
âTHE TIGER: ICONIC SYMBOL OF THE WILD, AND AN APEX PREDATOR THAT WE FEAR AND ADMIRE.â
You panned your camera to focus on Yoon Jeonghan, who was currently sifting through the mess of papers and notebooks across his desk. All of the drawers were turned out with their contents scattered across the carpet. His frantic search for his missing vape had been going on for the past twenty minutes, and you were certain this was his fifth time going through his belongings again.Â
Normal people, such as yourself, wouldâve given up within the first five minutes, but your best friendâs resilience was admirable. His unwavering persistence was exactly the sort of character you wanted to showcase in your films. Without the context of the vape addiction, of course.Â
âAnd here,â you continued in the best David Attenborough impression you could conjure up, âwe see a tiger in the wild.â
âGo to hell, dude,â Jeonghan snapped back. You squinted at him through your viewfinder to catch him carding a frustrated hand through his hair. âMy Circadian rhythm needs flavored air to function.âÂ
The tiny red light flickered once, then vanished as you stopped recording. âTry regular air. Itâs good for youâand free.âÂ
âYeah? Then maybe this is my calling to get sober.â
(It was important to note that Jeonghan tended to say this very frequently.)
He finally rose from the corner of his dorm room where he had strewn the contents of his drawer all over the floor. Jeonghan crossed over to where you were sittingâon his bed, leaning against the wall with his Doraemon pillowâand plopped down beside you. His eyes, glazed-over and half-lidded, were fixed on the ceiling, as if he was going over each groove in the drywall.Â
For the past two hours, you had been agonizing over ideas for your documentary. Jeonghan was typically great when it came to bouncing ideas off each other, so you often pestered him until inspiration struck. Today didnât seem like a particularly stimulating day for either of you, though. Your best friend paid attention for maybe half an hour, but even he started running out of ideas for potential documentary content.Â
âBy the way,â he added, still stuck in a faraway trance, âdo not use whatever you just recorded for your film project. I donât consent to being exploited for views.âÂ
It had been weeks since you came to terms with the fact that Jeonghan didnât want to be the subject of your documentary. You had a semester to complete this project for your documentary class, and although you still had a decent amount of time left, you were starting to get worried because most of your classmates already started outlining their ideas. You hadnât even found your main character yet.
There were quite a few reasons why you wouldnât have chosen Jeonghan in the first place; it didnât just chalk down to his disinterest in being filmed. You wanted to capture someone with a storyâa progression or growth that tugged at the heartstrings of your audienceâand using someone you werenât already close with would help you film more objectively.
You raised a brow at your friend. âYou? I was clearly filming a wild animal in its natural habitat.â
âRecording without two-party consent is tasteless,â he reminded. âAnd just for that, Iâm not telling you the incredible, brilliant idea I just had.â
âYou havenât exactly shared that many incredible, brilliant ideas for me to feel disappointed about that.â
âNo, trust me. Itâs really good.â He used his elbows to prop himself up, shooting you a wide grin. His resolve to withhold his proposition crumbled within seconds of his excitement. âItâs the best idea Iâve had since that one time I stole Seungcheolâs towel and t-shirt while he was showering.âÂ
You glanced at him through the corner of your eyes. âAll you did was make him walk around shirtless.â
âExactly.â Jeonghan returned your look with far more judgment than you had given him. âThat was the best part.â
The memory was hard to forget. During your freshman year, you were living in the dorms where your RA was Choi Seungcheol. It was safe to say that a solid majority of the people on your floor had eyes for the dreamy Resident Advisor. Jeonghan only contributed to the noble cause of fan service by ensuring that Seungcheol would end up having to walk through the hallway with his glorious abs on display, his chiseled body beaded with water droplets.Â
âSo whatâs your idea? Ask Seungcheol if I can film a strip tease?â
âNo, itâsâwait, thatâs so good. If we can get that greenlit, you should totallyââ
âNope, definitely not doing that,â you interjected with a firm shake of your head. You were not going to present a half-naked Seungcheol as your final project. âGive me something more PG-13.â
âBoring, but fine.â After mocking a pout, Jeonghanâs lips immediately curled up in a smirk. âXu Minghao.âÂ
The very mention of his name made you straighten up. You hadnât spoken to Minghao in years, and although your friends would tease you about being his childhood friend, you didnât see your past with him as anything worth mentioning. After all, being close friends during middle school was nothing compared to the plethora of memories you made after the two of you grew distant.Â
âHuh?â
âXu Minghao,â he repeated. âStreets are saying heâs quit dancing.âÂ
You frowned. âMinghao quit dancing?âÂ
That couldnât be right. Minghao? The same Xu Minghao who snuck out of his house to practice for hours in dance studios? The same one who took eight trains, walked fifteen miles, and hitchhiked to get to dance camp on his own? The same one who shed tears when he won his first dance competition?Â
Dance was Minghaoâs life; it came as naturally as breathing to him. You so clearly remembered his overwhelming passion that drove him to practice tirelessly for years. Just watching him move to the beat made you feel like he was born to express himself that way. You couldnât imagine your childhood friend, who had been dancing his entire life, to just throw away all his hard work and talent on a whim.
âStreets also mentioned he hurt his foot real bad. Poor guy canât compete at nationals anymore.âÂ
âStreets?â
âIâm protecting anonymity, okay?â After you peered at him for a moment, Jeonghan caved under the pressure of your stare and added, âFine. It was Seungkwan.â
You scoffed. All credibility of the rumor vanished like a wisp of smoke.Â
âSeungkwan also claimed Vernon needed to go to the emergency room when he got a paper cut,â you replied, unimpressed.
âNo, I think it really is serious this time. You can check it out for yourself, if you want,â Jeonghan said. âHeâs working at the cafĂŠ like, every day now.â
âHis momâs cafĂŠ?â
âMmhm. He stopped for a while âcause of school, but he just picked up his shifts again.â
âAnd you think thatâs what I should do for my documentary? Minghao quitting the one thing that could be worth filming?âÂ
âI donât think he actually wanted to quit,â Jeonghan said, looking down at his intertwined hands in his lap with a puzzled expression, as if the Xu Minghao Dilemma⢠had been keeping him up at night. âI donât know what it is. Seungkwan said he seemed kind of off when he was talking about it.â
You were quiet for a moment, and Jeonghan continued, âYou also find it weird, donât you? It doesnât make sense that heâd just quit like that.â
âI mean, if somethingâs really going on with him, then I donât think itâs right for me to ask if I can turn that into a documentary,â you said.Â
âIâm not saying that, butâŚâ He trailed off before shrugging. âI just think it wouldnât hurt to check in on him.â
You arched a brow at him. âWhy donât you check in on him? Arenât you two friends?â
âWeâre bros,â he corrected. Cue a dramatic groan from you, which was promptly ignored as Jeonghan elaborated, âour way of showing that weâre there for each other is by queueing up on League together or talking about the Roman Empire.âÂ
âJeonghan, you have never once mentioned the Roman Empire.â
âJokes on you, I did a research project on it in middle school.â He shut his eyes to wave off the tangent he started going off on. âAnyway, thatâs not the point. The point is that youâre a girlâa woman. Women get to the point. They get things done.â He gave you a resolute nod, and you were starting to wonder if he was simply trying to use flattery against you. âHence why I think you can figure out whatâs going on with Minghao.â
You sighed. âBut Minghao and I havenât even spoken in so long. I donât want to overstep.â
âLook, Iâve texted Haoâeven met up with him in personâbut the guy wonât budge. He just gives me that customer service smile of his and says heâs fine.â
âAnd what makes you think Iâll be able to do anything?â
âIâm not saying you will, but I think heâll turn around when he realizes more people are concerned about him.â
On one hand, you didnât exactly have any sort of relationship with Xu Minghao that gave you a reason to visit him. Did he even remember your name? You could only imagine the confusion drawing his brows together upon seeing you after years of silence. Or perhaps he wouldnât care at all. The two of you could probably pass by each other as complete strangers, and he wouldnât experience the same flicker of old memories that made your heart ache.
On the other hand, you truly were curious. And it wouldnât hurt to visit the old cafĂŠ, either.Â
Plus, you would never admit it out loud, but part of you had been waiting for an excuse to talk to your old friend again.Â
You felt utterly stupid as you stood at the entrance of the cafĂŠ.
First, your heart was beating unbelievably fast for something that shouldnât have been this difficult of a feat. It was a coffee shop, for crying out loud. All you had to do was walk inside and order something without making a fool out of yourself. Couldnât be that hard, right?Â
Second, it was hard to pretend like you were only here for coffee when your only intention was to check up on Minghao. Now you were wondering if you shouldâve texted him first, but that probably wouldâve taken you a few days to work up the courage to send.Â
And the cherry on top of your miserable cake was that you didnât even like coffee. Maybe you could get something to eat, but you werenât big on pastries, either. You just had to force yourself to get whatever seemed the most appetizing and hope that Minghao took notice of you.Â
That was another thing; you didnât even know what hours he worked. Your plan was to work in the corner of the cafĂŠ until you saw him coming in. Knowing your luck, he probably didnât even have a shift scheduled for today. Still, you were determined to wait it out since you had come this far already.Â
With a shaky breath, you pushed open the door and were immediately greeted by a rush of warmth. You instinctively tugged your cardigan tighter around your frame as you scanned the space. It had been years since you stepped into the cafĂŠ, but everything was about the same; almost all the tables were occupied with teenagers or lone adults who came to get work done, the back wall had a space reserved for people to leave cute notes and drawings, and a familiar barista was eyeing you from the get-go.Â
There he was, watching you from the counter. Clusters of stars encased in two midnight pools.
Xu Minghao, who you skillfully managed to avoid interacting with for the past six years, was looking at you with the same familiarity that stirred in your chest.
Your first reaction was to flee, but you wouldâve looked ridiculous running out of the shop, so you walked to the nearest empty table first. Did people look for tables before they even ordered? You were starting to forget how to normally function as you set your bag down on the smooth oak wood.Â
âSample?â a gentle voice called from behind you as you were fumbling with getting your laptop out of your bag. You looked over your shoulder to see Minghao with a tray of bite-sized slices of cheesecake with toothpicks sticking out of the top. A warm smile graced his features, so dazzling to the point where it was blinding. âItâs one of our signature desserts here.âÂ
âOh,â was all you could say at first, disoriented as you picked up one of the cheesecake bites. âThanks.â
âIâll be at the front whenever youâre ready to order.â
He left before you could get another word out, and you shoved the cube of cheesecake in your mouth so that you didnât look completely frozen (which you were). Minghao probably went around giving samples to every customer, but surely he recognized you, right? It wasnât like the two of you were completely oblivious to each otherâs existence. Minghao had to know you two had mutual friends from the Instagram stories and posts you were featured in.
Moreover, his leg seemed fine. Boo Seungkwan had once again proven to be an untrustworthy source.
You worked up the courage to walk to the register after going over the menu about twenty times, finally deciding on getting a mango fruit tea. As soon as you were in front of Minghao, though, your predetermined order disappeared from your head and the menu looked like a blur of words.
Your mind went completely blank.Â
âUhâŚâ You were floundering for something to sayâanything. Coffee was the only drink coming to mind, but you werenât sure the caffeine would be good for your nerves. âI'll have, uhâŚâÂ
This was so stupid. You waited for minutes on end to decide on your order and ended up looking like a complete fool in front of Minghao.
âWould you like a recommendation?â he offered smoothly, as if this was a routine response for him. You wondered how many other customers lost their train of thought upon seeing his face.Â
âYes, please.âÂ
âI know it's chilly outside, but our fruit teas are pretty popular. And, if I remember correctly, you've always been a fan of mango,â he said. You swore he was trying to avert his gaze now, although he had been maintaining proper eye contact up until this moment. âInjeolmi toast is a favorite here, too. I know you like injeolmi, unless your tastes have changedâŚâÂ
Wow. Maybe you were off the mark all along. Minghao clearly hadn't forgotten you; in fact, he remembered more of you than you could even recall yourself.Â
âMango fruit teaâthatâs right. Thatâs what I wanted to order.â You let out an awkward laugh, brushing your hair over your shoulder to distract yourself from how hot your chest felt. âThen Iâll order both. Iâve never had injeolmi toast, but I do still like injeolmi.âÂ
His face broke into a bright smileâthe kind that made his eyes crinkle at the corners.Â
âOh, good. I was worried I didn't remember correctly,â he admitted sheepishly. After entering your order into the tablet, he turned the screen around for you to pay. You were so focused on tipping that Minghao startled you when he asked, âHowâve you been?âÂ
When you looked up, his gaze was sincere. A torrent of warmth rushed through your body.
âGood. I meanâcollege, you know?â Everything you wanted to say sounded garbled in your head. You didnât even know where to begin. âI barely have any free time these days outside of assignments and working on sets.â
âOh, right. Youâre in film, huh? Howâs that been for you?â
âItâs been good so far. Iâm actually getting ready to film a documentary right now.â
He looked up at you with wide eyes, gleaming with genuine interest. Since Minghao had been no more than a stranger to you these past several years, you hadnât expected to see such sincerity in his enthusiasm.Â
Your heart must have skipped a beat or two.
âA documentary? About what?â But then his attention was lost, his eyes unfocusing to glance at the customer waiting impatiently behind you. You immediately felt guilty for taking up so much time, but then Minghao said, âI get off in an hour. Are you still gonna be around?â
âYeah, I will.â
âGreat. Save a chair for me.â He flashed one of his shining, award-winning smiles again. âYour order will be out in a few minutes, Y/N.â
The injeolmi toast was cold.Â
It tasted good enough for you to not mind, but when you saw someone else carrying a tray of the steaming bread, you figured that Minghao simply forgot to heat yours up. You were disheartened that you were doomed to eat cold, chewy injeolmi, but the sweet and nutty flavor was so delectable that you ended up scarfing it down within minutes anyway. The cafĂŠ seemed rather busy around this time, so you didnât put it past Minghao to rush your order.
The mango fruit tea was incredible, though. By far the best fruit tea youâve had. It was compelling enough for you to download Yelp to leave a glowing five-star review.Â
When you opened CafĂŠ du Soleilâs page, you noticed that your dear friend Seungkwan (credentials: Yelp Elite Squad) had already left a review mentioning the same drink.Â
â
â
â
â
â
Nov 7, 2024 Incredible customer service. I love Xu Minghao. The mango fruit tea changed my life for the better.
You left a review about the mango fruit tea and injeolmi toast (conveniently leaving out the fact that yours wasnât warmed up). A much more comprehensive review than Seungkwanâs, you would say.Â
Your nerves were still buzzing from your conversation with Minghao. It had been years since you two had spoken to each other, and now you were waiting for him to get off his shift to catch up with you. If you maintained a friendship with him all these years, then maybe all of this would feel natural. Maybe this wouldâve been your designated table to wait for Minghao after his shift, spending time with him after work and walking home together.
An hour passed by faster than you thought it would. The first ten minutes felt agonizing, watching the minutes tick by painfully slow, but once you were consumed in a discussion post for your Narrative Production class, Minghao was making his way over to you before you knew it.
âHey, stranger,â he greeted, pulling out the chair across from you to sit down in. Your eyes followed the slice of cheesecake he brought over on a plate before he nodded toward the empty plate on your tray. âWhatâd you think of the toast?â
âReally good,â you gushed. You opted to leave out the part where your bread was cold. âI was almost about to go up to order again.â
âAh, right.â He pushed the plate in your direction. âThis is for you.â
âOh,â you answered, startled. âHow much was it? I can payââ
âNo, donât worry. Itâs on me,â Minghao cut in smoothly, signaling his objection with a wave of his hand. âI forgot to ask you if you liked the sample earlier, but I ended up bringing it over anyway.â
Just as you remembered, he was always thinking about others first. Minghao was so earnest in his words and actions that it was hard for you to grasp that he was real. Even in his adolescence, you remembered he had a different air of maturity from the other boys just because of how kind he was. You wanted to pick him apart and dissect his brain to figure out if he was just biologically wired to be perfect.
He was so different nowânot completely different but just enough to set you on edge. Minghao had grown into his features so beautifully and still spoke in that calm and soft voice, but there was this newfound confidence he carried that seemed almost unshakeable.Â
With the way he was staring at you so intently, you felt pressured to give your opinion on the cheesecake right away. You forked a sliver of the cake into your mouth, hand hovering over your mouth as you chewed. Mostly because you were trying to swallow as fast as possible so that Minghao would stop being so laser-focused on you.
âItâs good,â you mused. âI should come by more often.â
He perked up at your words, and soon Minghao was enthusiastically asking you to give him a recap on everything that was going on in your life. You hardly knew where to beginâor, rather, where to pick up after the two of you stopped being close.Â
You told him about how your parents disapproved of your film major, how it took months of convincing and begging until they realized that you were serious about your passion for filmmaking. He listened intently as you talked about all the short films you made on your own to persuade your parents, and he even watched one of them on your phone, giving you nods of acknowledgement and an impressed hum.
The conversation bled into different aspects of your life, and Minghao was able to join in while you two talked about how you met your mutual friends. You explained how you met Jeonghan and Wonwoo at a party, somehow hitting it off so well that you two ended up hanging out the morning after. Minghao met Jeonghan when they were placed in the same orientation group, and you thought about how funny it was that the world was small enough for you two to have grown apart and still ended up with mutual friends.Â
It was getting dark outside by the time Minghao was giving you the rundown of how he met Seungkwan, detailing the encounter in a way that made Seungkwan seem a little insane. Apparently, Minghao had gotten Seungkwanâs number at a dance workshop and the younger boy spammed him with texts one night until Minghao agreed to hang out. Thankfully, Minghao found Seungkwanâs persistence to be charming. A stark contrast from how you went home early during your first time hanging out with Seungkwan because you were so overstimulated.
When Minghao started talking about going to a dance workshop with Jeonghan, you realized this was your opening.
âOh, yeah,â you said, feigning a casual tone, âJeonghan mentioned that you were quitting dance?â
A sad smile dawned on his face. âAt least until I finish college. I just needed to take some time off to focus on school.â
âThat makes sense, I guess. But werenât you supposed to have a competition at the end of the year?â
âNationals,â he clarified. âIâve been pushing back my withdrawal, but Iâm gonna have to do it soon.â
You noticed his gloomy expression, and it was making you remember Jeonghanâs words about how Minghao probably didnât actually want to quit. If he really wanted to drop out of the competition, then you were certain the corners of his mouth wouldnât be tugging down, nor would the light in his eyes dim.Â
The Minghao you once knew was honest about his feelings. He unapologetically wore his emotions on his sleeve, and he prepared himself for every possible outcome so that he could keep a strong front. You always admired how he was able to stay so calm and collected as the world weighed on his shoulders.
Now, the Minghao before you looked like a kettle sputtering water from its spout, a whistle away from overflowing completely.Â
It was a bold question for someone you werenât close with anymore, but you asked, âYou donât want to withdraw, right?â
With his mouth set in a grim line, Minghao shook his head. âIf it was up to me, Iâd still be dancing.â
âThen why arenât you?â
âItâs just⌠complicated,â he said. âOur cafĂŠâs been doing decently, but itâs not enough for it to stay up and running. We were barely keeping up with rent and now theyâve upped the prices, butâŚâ He moved his leg from under the table so that it was stretched out to the side. âI tore my meniscus around four months ago. Itâs a lot better nowâstill sore sometimesâbut we had to pay for physical therapy on top of everything. Iâve had to pick up shifts here because weâre so understaffed now, so there isnât really enough time for me to focus on dancing.â
âIf we had enough money to cushion our rent for the next three months, I think this place would be saved,â he continued, âbut if Iâm gonna make that happen, I have to dedicate all my time here.â
Oh. You sent Boo Seungkwan a mental apology for ever doubting him about Minghaoâs injury. Perhaps he wasnât as unreliable of a source as you assumed he would be.Â
You knew that the situation must have been serious for him to quit dancing, but you didnât expect the cafĂŠ to be at stake. Of course, you had zero knowledge on what it took to be a dancer at a national level, but you just couldnât wrap your head around Minghao giving up this easily.Â
âIâm sorry.â
âDonât be sorry. Itâs my decision.â
You asked, âAre you okay with that, though? Not dancing?â
âIt is what it is.â He shrugged. âOur studioâs tuition on top of competition fees, private lesson fees, and workshop fees⌠itâs just not feasible for me to be able to keep doing this right now. Of course I could just practice on my own in the studio, but we just donât have enough people to cover every shift here.â
You nodded along. He really sounded as defeated as his explanation made you feel, and you realized you were going to have to recount this to Jeonghan to get him to give up. This situation was far too nuanced for either of you to push Minghao to keep dancing out of pure passion. Sometimes that just wasnât enough.Â
Minghao eventually had to go to close up the shop, and you had to turn down his insistent offers to give you more food until he basically shoved a bunch of pastries into your arms before you left. As you walked back to your apartment, braving the icy bite of the wind, one thing was for certain: you were most definitely not making a documentary out of Xu Minghaoâs tragic story.
âIâm running a survey,â you declared, âbecause this is a democracy and I value all of your opinions.â
You had called for an emergency meeting the day after you met up with Minghao. Your friends were all sitting haphazardly around your room; Seungkwan had his legs up against the wall and his body sprawled across your bed, Jeonghan was right next to Seungkwan, Junhui was sitting on top of your laundry basket despite being scolded about crushing it, Vernon was on top of your desk, and Wonwoo was the only one sensible enough to be sitting in a proper chair.Â
Jeonghan scoffed. âShe just doesnât want to do the Minghao documentary.â
âThere is no Minghao documentary,â you said. âThere was never a Minghao documentary.â
âThere wasââJeonghan paused for long enough for the rest of them to think he had finished talkingââto me.â
Junhui leaned forward, nearly toppling over the laundry basket. Vernon was able to hold it down with his foot in time, although Junhui hardly even noticed his friendâs silent efforts to save him.Â
âWhatâs the Minghao documentary?â he asked, his eyes bigger than ever. âLike, Xu Minghao?â
âYes,â Jeonghan answered. âWouldn't you watch a Xu Minghao documentary?âÂ
âIâd pay to watch a Xu Minghao documentary,â Junhui said, reaching over to high-five Jeonghan, who was extremely pleased that someone else supported his cause. âWhat can I say? He's a beautiful man.â
âOkay, there is no Xu Minghao documentary,â you repeated. âIt's more of a⌠Xu Minghao dilemma.âÂ
âSo you called us here because of Xu Minghao,â Vernon chimed in.
âNo,â you replied pointedly, âI called you here because I really value your guysâ opinions and want to hear your suggestions about what I should include in my documentary.â
âXu Minghao,â Jeonghan supplied.
âExcept for Jeonghan. I donât value his opinion.âÂ
âI think someone should die,â said Junhui with bright, sparkling eyes. âSomething super tragic.â
âOr we can all live,â Seungkwan said.
Vernon offered, âOr how about something more sentimentalââ
ââwhere everyone dies,â finished Junhui.Â
âOkay, that wasn't what I was getting at,â Vernon said with mild concern crossing his features. âYou scare me.â
Seungkwan, distressed at this point, spoke up louder to rehash, âWhy donât we all just live?â
You let out a resigned sigh. âJun, letâs keep in mind that Iâm filming a documentary for a college film class, not a Marvel movie.âÂ
This was going nowhere. Clearly, you misjudged when you decided your friends were the people to go to for serious inquiries. At this point, you were considering following up on the email you sent to the local ice skating rink a month ago, outright begging them for the chance to film their team practicing. (Spoiler: They ghosted you.)Â
âHow about the geology department?â Wonwoo suggested, resting his elbows on his knees. âWeâre researching crustal processes during the Hadean geological period right now. Exciting stuff.âÂ
Because Jeon Wonwoo was an incredibly persuasive man (mostly because of his lethal attractiveness), you were immediately swayed by the idea. âWait, thatâs an incredible idea, Wonwoo.â
âThat is the worst idea Iâve heard in my life,â Seungkwan blurted out. âIf you make a documentary about the geology department, I will personally come to the screening of your film myself just to throw tomatoes at you.â
As much as you hated to admit it (or, rather, hated to admit it in the presence of Wonwoo), Seungkwan had a fair point. Presenting a documentary about crustal formations was probably categorized as a form of social suicide. You had no true interest in the topic to make it sound interesting, and the only selling point would be geology major Jeon Wonwoo and his face of the century. The lackluster content coupled with your indifference toward rocks was a disaster waiting to happen.Â
Maybe you could make geology sound interesting. You entertained the idea for a few seconds before recollecting the time when Wonwoo got four shots deep and started rattling off about the demand for lithium in China. Your freshman year self was almost charmed before those beguiling minutes stretched into long, torturous hours of Wonwoo breaking down geopolitics until you blacked out.Â
No, you could not make geology sound interesting.Â
âThank you for that visual, Seungkwan,â you said. âNow that Iâve returned to my senses, Iâll accept ideas that arenât about Xu Minghao or rocks.âÂ
âWhatâs wrong with the geology department?â Wonwoo spoke up, his hand shooting up in the air to get the roomâs attention.
Jeonghan snorted. âDude, whatâs she gonna film? Planet Earth?â
Wonwoo accepted his defeat wordlessly as his arm slowly retreated back to his side.
âNot that I donât think you can come up with better ideas,â Vernon started carefully, âbut why are you so against making a documentary about Minghao?â
âIâm not against it,â you clarified. âItâs simply out of the question. He doesnât even have time to dance right now because of how busy he is with the cafĂŠ.â
âIf thatâs the issue, I can literally ask around to see whoâs interested in working there,â Jeonghan said.
âMinghaoâs going through a lot right now. I personally think itâs insensitive to push him to do something when heâs got so much on his plate.â
The men finally quieted down at your words, and you came to the realization that your girl friends would have probably been more useful for this sort of conversation. Maybe it was because the guys were all on good terms with Xu Minghao that they were pushing for you to ask him to work with you. It was the only conclusion you could come to with how insistent they were on you choosing Minghao.
Then, Jeonghan spoke up, âDidnât you say you wanted to make an impact with your documentary? What if you could really help him out?â
âWhat do you mean?â
âI donât know. Just think about it.â
Your forehead creased. He clearly did have something in mind and just wanted to complicate matters for you, but you held your tongue instead of pressing Jeonghan further.Â
Later that night, while you were laying in your bed with your laptop warm on your stomach, you could only think about Xu Minghao and his sad smile when he talked about quitting dance. He didnât really want to quit, but there was just too much going on for him to juggle that along with the countless other balls being thrown at him.Â
But was it right for him to just quietly let go of his dream? A passion that he had chased his whole life?Â
If you were in his shoes and you had to give up your dream of film, you werenât sure you could go down without a fight. Even when your parents were against film school, even when everyone around you questioned your abilities, you pushed yourself to take on every opportunity that came your way. Your situation had never been as dire as Minghaoâs, but you could imagine how he must have felt for his dream to crumble in the palm of his hands. With the right amount of support, you believed he could mold that dream together again.Â
In the still hours of twilight, you opened up a Word document and started typing away like your life depended on it.Â
âYou look like shit.â Kim Yooyeonâs eyes were wide when she watched you walk out of your room right when she was about to leave for her 8:00 a.m. lecture. She was in the middle of her bowl of cereal when you crossed her on your way to the couch. âDid you even sleep?âÂ
Your hand flew up to gently prod at the tender skin under your eyes. âDo I really look that tired?â
You all but fell against the couch, sinking into the cushions like it was quicksand. Normally, you could pour yourself a cup of coffee and get through the day, but you had accumulated enough sleep debt over the past few weeks to reach your breaking point.Â
Your roommate snorted. âRemember when you stayed up for three days straight during finals week last year? You look exactly like how you did back then.â
Thanks to Jeonghanâs cryptic words, you ended up spending the entire night researching and planning ways for you to help Minghaoâor, at least, what you thought would help Minghao. Your document spanned almost forty pages, and you werenât even sure if you would be using any of it. Your intention was to share your proposals with Minghao in hopes that he would find at least one of them to possibly work out.Â
The problem was: you were seconds away from falling asleep on the spot and your eyes felt sore every time you blinked. There was no way you could make it to Minghaoâs coffee shop and deliver your pitch in this state.Â
âI stayed up all night working on something for Minghao.â
Yooyeonâs spoon clattered against the bowl. âXu Minghao?âÂ
You gave her the same rundown you gave your friends yesterdayâa much more vague one because you didn't want to get into the nitty gritty details of Minghaoâs life, especially when Yooyeon probably didnât even care. Plus, you were too tired to get into the specifics. By the time you were finishing up your story, your mouth was hardly moving in time with your brain and your eyelids were drooping. You weren't even sure if you were speaking coherent sentences.
Yooyeon had her bag slung over her shoulder and was asking you something. You couldn't quite tell what it was because you were hanging by a thread at that point, but you definitely heard Jeonghanâs name at some pointâmaybe. All you could muster was a noncommittal sound before you drifted into a slumber.
A flash of red behind your eyelids roused you from your dreamless sleep, but you didnât have time to squint before the nuisance of a light source was instantly blocked. You opened your eyes to see Xu Minghao sitting by your feet, using his hand to block the ray of light that shone through the window and landed directly on your face.Â
Perhaps you overreacted, but you were sure anyone would scream at the sight.Â
âSorry, did I scare you?â Minghao stood up, alarmed.Â
Clearly.Â
You scrambled to sit up while he awkwardly shifted to the middle of your living room.Â
âNo, Minghao, I was just warming up my vocal cords,â you deadpanned. âI donât think itâs weird at all that youâre inside my apartment while Iâm asleep.â
âOh.â Minghao went still for a second. You watched the puzzled look on his face morph into one of dread once he seemed to understand how odd the situation looked. âOh.â
After a few more moments of gawking at you, he started again, âThis looks pretty bad.â
âYeah, just a little.â
âI swear itâs not as creepy as it looks. Jeonghan said you wanted to see me, and then your roommate let me in. She told me to just wake you up, but I felt bad after a while. Thatâs why I just let you sleep.â
That must have been what Yooyeon was asking you while you were half-conscious, and you probably stupidly agreed despite not catching anything she said. This wasnât how you wanted to talk to him; you needed time to mentally prepare yourself to meet Minghaoâpreferably in an outdoor setting where you were appropriately dressedâbut now he had caught you completely off-guard.
It looked like he had just gotten back from the gym with his flushed cheeks and the sleeveless top that showed off his toned arms. When he raised his arm, you could even catch a glimpse of the infinity tattoo inked across his shoulder blade.Â
âI can leave,â he suggested, unsure.Â
âNo, stay,â you said. âItâs just that I was gonna go see you on my own. How long have you been waiting here for, anyway?âÂ
âMaybe ten minutes? I tried calling your name, but you asked me to let you sleep a little longer.â
You flushed, mortified. On top of accidentally inviting Minghao over to wait for you to wake up, you were sleep-talking in front of him too? Any semblance of professionalism you had was crashing and burning before you.Â
âI think I was sleep-talking with my roommate, too. Thatâs probably why she thought I needed to see you now,â you explained with a sheepish smile tugging at your lips. âSorry about that.â
Minghao laughed and took a seat once he realized you werenât going to shoo him out of the apartment anymoreâor perhaps now he felt less guilty about showing up unexpectedly.
âSo weâre even, right? Your stalking is forgiven,â you said, âbut not forgotten.â
His eyes went wide with mock surprise, feigning a gasp. âStalking? I could sue you for defamation of character.â
âThen sue me,â you challenged. âI have an outfit that Iâve been dying to wear in a courtroom.â Minghao raised his eyebrows with mild interest before you reached for your laptop on the coffee table. âAnyway, I wanted to show you something that could probably make you rethink that defamation lawsuit.â
You then turned to face him and clasped your hands together out of sheer desperation. âPlease let me make you the star of my documentary.âÂ
Minghao blinked at you for a few seconds before asking, âThe documentary for your class? You want me in it?â
You nodded eagerly. âItâll be all about youâyour dancing, the cafĂŠâeverything that shows how hard youâve worked for your dreams.â
âI donât know, Y/NâŚâ He looked slightly uneasy at the prospect. âI might not have the time for this. I already have shifts at the cafĂŠ every day.â
âI think I have a solution for that, too.â
âThatâs great and all, but either way, I donât even know how much longer weâre gonna be able to keep the cafĂŠ running.â
âBut Minghao, listen, I have it all planned out.â You scooted closer until your knees were bumping against his, and you angled your laptop for him to see the screen. âThereâs a scholarship offering twenty thousand dollars, and theyâre asking for a video submission on what success means to you. Itâs specifically for the artsâsomething youâre passionate about.âÂ
âYou meanâŚâ He trailed off, eyes fixed on the screen.
âI say we kill two birds with one stone; I film the documentary for my final project while you use it to win that cash prize.â
Minghao looked from you, to the screen, and to you again. There was a suspension of fear across his face that was coupled with a sparkle of hope in his eyes. It looked as if stardust had scattered across his irises and lit them up.Â
âTwenty thousand dollars,â he started before mouthing the words again in disbelief. âThat kind of money could save the cafĂŠ.â
âAnd pay for nationals,â you added. âI stayed up all night planning this out. If you trust me, I think we can actually make this work.â
âYou really think so? But do you really think people would be interested in watching something thatâs just about my life?â
âNo doubt about it. That face sells,â you deadpanned, which caused the tips of his ears to go an endearing shade of red. âI wouldnât have done all this work if I didnât think we could pull it off.â
âThis is all assuming I even get selected.â
âIâll make sure you do. Itâll be my best work yet.â
After Minghao spent a considerable amount of time scanning your document over and over again (you were pretty sure the words were probably burned into his brain by now), the corner of his mouth quirked into a mischievous smile. âSo, how good are you?â
âGood at what?â
âFilmmaking. Iâve never seen your work.â
You folded your arms across your chest. âIâll have you know that Iâve had plenty of experience. Iâm just using you for my big break.â You didnât realize you had stiffened up until you let your body relax. âDo you want to see something Iâve filmed?âÂ
âCan I?â
âOf course. I canât have you agree to something before you know the standard of quality youâre getting,â you said with a prideful puff of your chest that deflated too quickly when you realized that you would have to show Minghao something so vulnerable. Maybe it wasnât as big of a deal for him, but you shed your heart and soul into your craft; it was precious to you. You opened the video file and looked at him expectantly. âWe donât have to watch it.â
âNo, I want to,â he said in a voice so earnest that you wanted to believe him. He focused on the file name at the top of the video player. âA Bite of Summerâwhatâs it about?â
âItâs pretty short. Iâll just play it for you.â
You hit play and moved the laptop onto Minghaoâs lap instead, watching both the screen and his reaction to your videography. He was so zeroed in on the film that he hardly seemed to notice the way you kept glancing at him.Â
Summer was sweltering. Growing up, you always spent your summers surrounded by friends and family, whether it was going to the beach or going to the park. Living in the moment was simple back then; you werenât confined to responsibilities and commitments that kept you from enjoying what life had to offer. In fact, some of your best summer memories were shared with Minghao. The two of you laughed without a care in the world as the warmth of the sun enveloped you.
Once you entered high school, however, summer felt so humid that it was suffocating. You were up to your neck in assignments, exam preparation, and part-time jobs. It became difficult to enjoy your youth when you had countless hours of work to do. Coincidentally, it was your first summer spent without Minghao; you werenât sure if things wouldâve been any different if you two were still friends back then, but maybe it wouldâve simmered the ache in your chest.Â
Your short film, A Bite of Summer, was created amidst your summer blues. The film was about a girl named Rhea who meets her younger self at the beach she once used to frequent during the summer. It represented the relationship the older you had with your younger self; you were excited to grow and move forward as the seasons changed, but summer was always a bittersweet reminder that you had no time to grieve over your childhood. You didn't know what you lost until it was gone, but perhaps that made the memories even more precious.Â
You were still looking at Minghao, but you could hear your main character, Rhea, asking her younger self, âAre you ever scared of growing up?â
Minghao was watching intently, hanging onto every word. You werenât sure why you felt so nervous about him watching. In your last year of middle school, you and Minghao began to have long conversations about how terrifying it was to grow up. He would open up about how much pressure he felt from balancing dancing and school, and you would tell him how you felt like you couldnât breathe in the summer heat. Perhaps he had forgotten by now. Perhaps he wouldnât connect your film back as being so personal to you.
You couldnât tear your eyes away from his reaction during the scene where the younger Rhea reaches for the older Rheaâs hand, gripping tightly even as cold waves started to lap at their feet. Minghao watched quietly, dark eyebrows pulling together as he focused.
âI am,â the younger Rhea answered.
âYou are?â
âIt sounds exciting, but nothing scares me more.â You watched as Minghaoâs lips parted, chestnut eyes glistening when she continued, âMaybe it doesn't feel that way because you donât have to live through those hard times anymore, but Iâm glad the good times stuck. That means this feeling will passââtheir hands dropped to their sidesââand yours will, too.âÂ
And that was when a tear fell from Xu Minghaoâs feathery lashes.Â
Youâve never witnessed anyone cry over the work you created. Sure, it tugged at your own heartstrings since it was so personal to you, but to watch someone else have such strong feelings over your film made tears well up in your eyes.
âAre⌠are you crying?â you stammered out, a tittering laugh following as Minghao used the pads of his thumbs to smear his tears off his cheeks. It was a pretty sight, like watching wet clay come undone before you.Â
âIt was really good,â he mumbled, giving you the most adorable pout you had ever seen on an adult man before turning his head away to keep wiping at his tears. âIâm serious. Donât laugh at me.â
âIâm just surprised. Iâve never seen someone react like that to my work.â
If you were just a little braver, you probably wouldâve thanked him first before telling him that you were touched. You wouldâve told him that no one had ever peeled back your layers without making it uncomfortableâsometimes even painfulâbut he handled you with so much delicacy. You wouldâve told him that this film was about you, at your core, and perhaps he had already picked up on that, but you wouldâve been brave enough to express yourself.
But you werenât brave, so you just smiled at the lone tears that streaked Minghaoâs face before he wiped them with his sleeve.Â
âSeriously, youâre incredible,â he said, still staring at the paused video on your laptop. The corner of his mouth lifted. âThat was so short and it still made me cry.â
You couldnât help the wide grin that stretched across your face. âYouâre actually crying.âÂ
âWell, yeah. Are you having fun watching me suffer?â
Was it borderline psychopathic that you were smiling while Minghao cried? Probably. On the other hand, you were simply glad you didnât burst into tears alongside him. You nearly felt like you couldâve with the way he got so emotional about your work.Â
âA little,â you admitted. Surprisingly, that got a smile out of him. âIâm just happy you like it.â
âI do,â he said. A pause, then, âWhyâs it called âA Bite of Summer,â by the way?â
You scoffed. Actually, you had your reasons, but no one had ever asked you about that film specifically.
âI hate summer, thatâs why,â you told him. âI canât stand the heat.â
âReally?â His brows lifted. âI think summerâs pretty overrated, too.â
You cracked a grin. âNo, you donât. Itâs your favorite season.â
âHey, I can still acknowledge my favorite seasonâs overrated.â
He grinned and held the palm of his hand out to you. You were confused before Minghao gently grabbed your wrist and put your hand in his, interlocking your fingers and giving you a firm shake. Your hands were too clammy to be gripping Minghaoâs calloused palms, but he didnât seem to mind.Â
âUse me however you want, director,â he continued, and the sparkle in his eyes was something magnificent. âIâll be your best star yet.â
âNo lawsuit?â you asked.
Minghao laughed. âNo lawsuit.â
You were sweating like you had just run a marathon. (You practically did; the distance from your apartment to Jeonghanâs location in the library was a mile and a half, and you were sprinting half the time.)
Since you needed some time to plan out your filming, you exchanged contact information with Minghao and told him that you would contact him when you were ready. Your nerves were buzzing with excitement now that you actually had a subject for your documentary. Conversations with your classmates would no longer make you feel like you were desperately hurrying to catch up with everybody else.Â
Your friends usually claimed the big table on the third floor. It was positioned at an optimal location next to the bathrooms and the elevator, so you were quite proud of your unassigned-assigned table. Junhui and Wonwoo were normally the ones who spent the most time in the library, whereas Seungkwan and Vernon usually only stopped by if they wanted to mess around.Â
âYou bitch,â you spat, pointing an accusatory finger at Jeonghan, who was trying to frantically wave off clouds of smoke when he coughed in surprise. You collapsed into the chair next to him, catching your breath while Junhui and Wonwoo hardly batted an eye. âYou should be prosecuted for vaping in the library, by the way.â
âI know, right?â Junhui frowned disapprovingly. âTake it outside, Jeonghan.â
âAddiction kills,â Wonwoo added, doleful.Â
âI was gonna ghost it!â Jeonghan cried in defense, lowering his voice toward the end once he realized they were, in fact, still inside the library. He turned back to face you. âAnyway, why am I a bitch again?â
âYou invited Minghao into my apartment!â
âOkay, a lot of accusations here. What about a hi? A hello? A congrats-on-finding-your-vape-Jeonghan?âÂ
You fixed him with a glare. âItâs one accusation that has already been confirmed, Jeonghan. Start talking.â
âYooyeon told me that you needed to see Minghao. All I did was pass along the message,â he explained before a smirk grew on his face. âSo what did you need to see him for?âÂ
âOh, right.â You cleared your throat. âIâve decided on doing the Minghao documentary.â
Jeonghanâs lips parted in surprise, the corners of his lips twitching upward again. âOh my god, youâre actually doing it! I mean, I had a feeling after Yooyeon called me, butâŚâÂ
âGood choice,â Junhui said. âHeâs an absurdly attractive man.â
âPhenomenal face for the cameras,â Wonwoo agreed, humming along.Â
âOkay, since when were you guys the Xu Minghao Fan Club?â You looked around the table and shook your head once you saw Junhuiâs dreamy expression. âNever mind, donât answer that. Point is, the Minghao documentary is in motion and I have a shit-ton to plan.â You turned to face Jeonghan. âYou said youâd help out at the cafĂŠ, right? Youâll get paid, of course, but Minghao canât keep taking shifts every day.âÂ
âTheyâre still having money problems?â Jeonghan asked.
âUnfortunately, but he said that hiring part-timers is better for them financially.â
He hummed, nodding along to your words. âWell, I didnât say Iâd be helping at the cafĂŠ, but Iâll find you someone.â
âTheyâll still have to be interviewed, of course. Oh, and theyâll have to be trained, andââ
âDonât even worry,â Jeonghan assured. âI have the perfect person in mind. Actually, I think I can find you a few more, too.â
âIâm a little scared.â
âWhen have I ever let you down?â Before you could point out that there had actually been a few instances, Jeonghan seemed to realize the flaw in his question and added, âRhetorical question. Anyway, just leave it to me.â
To an extent, you did trust him. Not only was Jeonghan involved in several clubs and organizations on campus, but he was also a freshman orientation leader for two years in a row. This was especially useful in the sense that he had connections to students you had never even seen in your life; when you used to have inquiries on subjects you wanted to film, you always asked Jeonghan for any references, and he almost always had a name in mind.
After a pause, your friend gave you a quizzical look. âDid you run all the way over here just to say that?â
âUhâŚâÂ
âYou know you couldâve just texted me, right? Or called? Modern technology works wonders, Y/N.â
âOhâright.â
Come to think of it, you couldnât remember the last time youâd been so excited over something that you full-on sprinted to tell your friends. It begged the question of whether you would be this ecstatic if you werenât filming a certain someone. The ice skating rink surely wouldnât have gotten this reaction out of you.Â
You were fairly certain you knew the reason behind your lapse in judgement, and it was becoming clear that Xu Minghao was tangled right in the center of everything.Â
Filming started the following Monday.Â
You captured Minghao throughout his everyday life at first, which meant you had to follow him around all day to compile footage. Mentally, you werenât very prepared for this. Following Minghao from campus, to the cafĂŠ, to his dance studio, and wherever else he decided to venture made you feel as if you were intruding. It was as if you were peaking into a world that you werenât allowed into.Â
He wasnât that great when it came to school as a kid, but now Minghao really tried to study hard, even if that meant dozing off in the middle of reading a page of his textbook. Just a few days ago, he invited you over for a movie, and you were really supposed to be editing your footage, but you caved within minutes of him asking. You remembered Minghao had always been a sucker for coming-of-age movies, but you were dumbfounded when he shed tears during Little Women. (What you wouldnât dare tell him was how endearing you found him).Â
You toed the line as someone between a friend and a stranger; perhaps to Minghao you would be considered a friend, but you werenât quite sure why you couldnât see yourself fitting in that space again. Still, as you filmed him and shot his interviews, you were so intrigued by the new sides of him that kept coming up, as well as the parts you nearly forgot about. It felt strange to hear such sincere accounts of Minghao from the interviews with his instructors and peers, yet to be the one behind the camera that couldnât hold onto him before.
Today, he was waiting for you at 11:30 a.m. sharp outside of the Arts building. It had been a little over a month since you and Minghao started working together, but you were more worried about the scholarship deadline than your own assignmentâs deadline. Filming was going smoothly, but you still needed to get interviews from his friends and family. Editing the dance footage was going to take the entire night since you were in the studio for hours.Â
You were overwhelmed, to say the least.Â
Minghao was finished with classes for the day while you had an annoyingly long gap between your morning and evening classes. You were supposed to shoot some B-roll, but that completely slipped both of your minds as you were well into scarfing down the breakfast wraps you two had bought before sitting on a cold bench.
Dark, gray clouds moved like smoke across the sky. It was getting chillier, and you were suddenly reminded of when youâd wait for the school bus with Minghao in middle school. He was always carrying around hand warmers back then, offering you one without fail whenever you started to shiver. Sitting shoulder-to-shoulder without thinking too deeply about how close you were. Now, with the awkward gap between you two, you wished you could go back to those simpler times.Â
Maybe you were already considered friends. Maybe you were overthinking all of this.
You rarely analyzed your other friendships this thoroughly.
You would rather shrivel up and die than admit that you missed being the closest to Minghao, but whenever he said something particularly sweet or gave you that gentle smile where his eyes crinkled at the corners, you felt your heart soar just a little higher. Maybeâjust maybeâif he pressed enough, he would get it out of you.
âI told my mentor Iâm gonna keep practicing for nationals,â he said once he was waiting for you to finish the last few bites of your wrap, âand I told my mom about the scholarship. It took some time trying to convince her that it could actually work.â
âShe was against it?â
âAt first, yeah. I mean, I donât blame her. Weâre doing this on the off-chance I get selectedânothingâs guaranteed.â He gave you a crooked smile. âBut, at the end of the day, it could save our cafĂŠ, so sheâs touched that youâre trying.â
You took the last bite of your wrap instead of replying. Of course Minghao meant well, but you couldnât help but feel your stomach pitted with anxiousness at the mention of how everything was riding on this film. It made you feel even worse because Minghao had more to lose than you did. Nationals and an assignment grade; it was almost ridiculous how high-stakes his situation was compared to yours.
âJeonghan actually managed to find part-timers for the cafĂŠ,â he continued. âTheyâre coming by in the afternoon.â
âThatâs good news, right? You sound surprised.â
âI am surprised. We hardly get people who wanna work there.â
âSeriously?â
âItâs not as convenient as an on-campus job, so most people arenât willing to walk that far for a part-time job when they can easily find something closer.â
You didnât mind the commute yourself, but you only visited the cafĂŠ occasionally; it wouldâve been a different story if you were heading to work there every single day. You hoped whoever Jeonghan found was actually committed to their job.
Then, Minghao asked, âWhatâre you gonna be filming today?â
âI was thinking we can get some footage of you training the newbies,â you said. âSpeaking of, now that you have more employees, does this mean you wonât have to work at the cafĂŠ as much?â
He grinned brightly. âMy shifts are cut down to three days a week now. Iâll have plenty of time to focus on dance. We have other employees to train the new guys, too, so itâs not all on me.â Minghao then leaned in a little closer (making you laser-focused on stepping on every crunchy leaf at your feet to ignore how your brain was spinning) to say, âJeonghan thinks there'll be a lot more girls coming to the cafĂŠ.â
âBecause of the new baristas?â
He shrugged. âTheyâre good-looking guys.â
You thought back to the demographic of cafĂŠgoers when you first visited CafĂŠ du Soleil. The majority were, in fact, teenage girls. You wouldnât have been surprised if you discovered that Minghaoâs face was the selling point, but to have multiple men like him working there? Not only were you worried that the coffee shop would turn into the Ouran Host Club, but you simply couldnât picture even more people of the same visual caliber as Xu Minghao.Â
Before you could reply, Minghao noted your pause and asked, âWhatâre you thinking about?â
âIâm just curious.â
âCurious about what?â
When you looked at him, his gaze frantically scattered about before he returned to looking down at his wadded-up wrapper. You wouldnât have found it weird if you caught him looking at you, but the fact that he looked away so quickly made you feel conscious of how warm you were getting under your jacket.Â
âJust wondering if theyâre really all that. I find it hard to believe that whoever Jeonghan called is gonna bring in more of a crowd than you already do.â
Minghao looked baffled before he chuckled. âI donât bring in a crowd.â
âThere were so many girls when I visited yesterday! Didnât you notice them giggling after you left their table?â
âThey were probably just giggling over whatever teenage girls giggle over.â
Minghao was oblivious by nature. He was also a man, therefore he was stupid.Â
Coupled together, it was a disastrous combination that resulted in wildly attractive Xu Minghao being utterly useless when it came to recognizing that he was blessed with a first-rate genetic sequence.Â
âHao,â you started slowly, âteenage girls giggle over guys.âÂ
âOh.â He frowned, and you held yourself back from rolling your eyes as you witnessed him take actual offense to what was supposed to be a compliment. You figured he had deeply misunderstood what you were getting at.
âCute guys,â you corrected.
âOh.â
You straightened up and stared back at him, bewildered. âYou donât even know, do you?â
âKnow what?â
âYourââ Unable to articulate what you were trying to say (partly because it was far too embarrassing to outrightly call Minghao attractive), you made a dramatic gesture to refer to his face. âThat!âÂ
To your horror, he turned incredibly smug. âWhat, my face? What about it?âÂ
âUhâŚâ
âAre you trying to say I look good, Y/N?â
This just in: Xu Minghao was a sick and twisted man.Â
In this very exact, very precise moment, you felt the most vulnerable you had ever been in front of the dancer, and he was using the very opportunity to humiliate you even further.Â
âIâm speaking objectively,â you said.Â
âYouâre objectively saying I look good.â
âYes.â
âWhat about subjectively?â
âCan we circle back to the cafĂŠ instead?â you offered, buffering as if you had to muster up the strength to push the words out through your teeth. âIâd much rather talk about the cafĂŠ.â
âReally? I was having more fun talking about how objectively and subjectively good I look.â
A groan fell from your lips. âYou objectively and subjectively need to shut up.â
Minghao laughed at your reaction before standing up and reaching into his pockets. âCâmon, letâs get going before it gets late,â he said and pulled out a hand warmer from his coat, holding it out to you. âHere.â
You took it from him. âWhatâs this for?â
âYouâve been shivering this whole time.â
While Minghao chatted your ear off on the way to CafĂŠ du Soleil, all you could think about was how he surprisingly paid attention to the little details about you that most people would miss. You were formulating a rough theory in your head: Xu Minghao had to be some sort of otherworldly being because there was no other explanation for how perfect he was.Â
Yoon Jeonghan was going to the deepest circle of Hell.
As soon as you saw Choi Seungcheol in an apron, you knew your insufferable friend had an agenda of his own when he was scouting out potential baristas. To Jeonghanâs credit, the other two baristas he found seemed like they had been objectively scouted (no offense to Seungcheol, but you were 99% sure Jeonghan just wanted a chance to see the man as frequently as possible).
âThatâs Chan.â Jeonghan jerked his chin in the direction of the younger guy who was fumbling with the cash register, and then you followed his gaze over to the barista who was fixing an acrylic pin of Elphaba from Wicked to his apron. âAnd that oneâs Seokmin.â
Apparently, Jeonghan met Lee Seokmin through a hiking club. More specifically, Jeonghan met Seokmin at a hiking club party while they were trying to puke their guts out in the same bush.Â
Lee Chan, on the other hand, was a family friendâs son that Jeonghan adored. You recalled him bringing Chan to a college party once and never again; the high school senior was later given twenty bucks to keep his mouth shut about Jeonghan hitting his vape.Â
After his eyes lingered on his eye candy (read: Seungcheol) for a ridiculously long amount of time, Jeonghan finally noticed the reproachful look you were giving him. âWhat?â
âI know damn well you just wanted to get Seungcheol in an apron.â
âNo,â Jeonghan sneered, as if he was disgusted by your accusation. âI was trying to see him with his sleeves rolled up. Thereâs a difference.â
âWhatever, dude. They both boil down to you being a whore.â
âHey, I mention a hiring notice to the man I want,â Jeonghan started with an air of confidence, leaning back in his seat to take a sip of his latte, âand you turn yours into the star of your film. Weâre basically birds of a feather here.â
You nearly choked over your own drink (the mango fruit teaâagain), and you were suddenly grateful that Minghao was currently training the newbies behind the counter despite feeling jealous earlier about them getting most of his attention. It was a relief that you two were alone at a table and out of earshot. Jeonghan needed to stay far, far away from Minghao; he was clearly not to be trusted to run his mouth around the dancer.Â
You gave him an incredulous look, ignoring the burst of heat that exploded within your chest. âFirst of all, lower your voice before someone hears you and actually takes you seriously. Second of all, what?âÂ
âWhatâs wrong with me wanting Seungââ
âIâm talking about the other part!â
âI said what I saidâand if you think about it, youâre crazier than I am.â
âExcuse me?â Your whisper might as well have been a shout. You quieted down again before speaking, âIâm not crazy, and I donât want Hao.â
âYeah, okay,â Jeonghan replied, unconvinced, âSo youâre telling me that you didnât feel any sort of way after he gave you a piggyback ride home from the club last week?â
It would be impossible to forget, even if you were blasted out of your mind. After much persuasion from Seungkwan and Jeonghan, you were convinced to invite Minghao last-minute to your night out. You were already several drinks in when he finally showed up at the club, so your first instinct was to throw yourself into his arms. Not your finest moment. But he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer by the waist, so you couldnât help but let yourself get carried away.Â
Several shots later, you found it impossible to walk with how your balance was completely off. Minghao, being the knight in shining armor he was, opted to carry you home on his back while holding onto your heels.Â
You settled for saying, âHe was just being nice.â
âThat wasnât my question, and I donât think he was just trying to be nice.â
âIs it so hard for you to believe that heâs just a genuinely good guy?â
âWell, he is, but itâs not like you guys just film your little documentary and move on with your lives after,â Jeonghan said. âHe hangs out with you, texts you every day, finds literally any excuse to invite you over, and you guys even bought matching pajamas!â
âThey were on sale!â
âLots of things were on sale, Y/N; it was literally Black Friday.â
âIt was Cyber Monday,â you corrected in a grumble.Â
âYou specifically chose the pajamas to wear with him.â
âWeâre friends,â you insisted, although it sounded like you were more so trying to convince yourself than Jeonghan. You would be lying if you said you didnât feel the undercurrent of your emotions tugging at your ankles, but that was not a revelation you were meant to have at CafĂŠ du Soleil with Minghao in your vicinity. âWeâre just doing what friends do.â
Jeonghan slurped his drink in a ridiculously loud manner. You shot him a disapproving look.
âYou know what I think?â
You were certain that you didnât want to hear what Jeonghan thought, but nevertheless, you entertained his attempts to provoke you. âWhat now?â you snapped.
âI think youâre still hurt by how you two drifted apartâyou and Hao,â he said, âand youâre probably thinking itâs gonna happen again. Thatâs why youâre too scared to admit heâs being a little more than nice to you.â
Bullseye. Jeonghan had watertight intuition when it came to the people he was close with, and you were no exception. His words were so on the mark that you felt vulnerable and exposed, like your skin was suddenly clinging too tight around your bones.
The thing was, you still couldnât exactly remember how you and Minghao grew distant. You recalled the throng of memories of when you two were friends, but everything leading up to your falling out was hazy. Could you even call it a falling-out if there werenât necessarily any hard feelings? He certainly hadnât done anything that made you want to block him out of your memory (it was Xu Minghao, for Godâs sake), but you couldnât imagine why you would be so hurt over growing apart from an old friend.
âYou really chose the worst possible time and place for this conversation,â was all you could mutter in response.
âWe have air conditioning and cheesecake. What could possibly be better than this?âÂ
Whether Jeonghan was selective about what he chose to be perceptive about or simply didnât understand the gravity of this situation, you couldnât tell; you just gave him a dumbfounded stare. âAnywhere else! Anywhere else wouldâve been better!â
âYouâre so picky.â
âAnd you canât read the room.â
âYou know what I can read,â he started with a cheeky grin while his eyes focused on somethingâor someoneâelse behind you, âXu Minghaoâs name tag.â
âOh, do you like it? I drew Seungkwanâs dog and Vernonâs cat next to my name,â came a breezy voice from behind you, making your heart plummet to your stomach.Â
How long had he even been standing there? You thought you could just ignore Minghao, but you found yourself turning around to see his two pets he doodled on his nametag. Unfortunately, they were cute, but you were still too mortified to give him a proper reaction.
âHowâhow long have you been there for?â you stammered. âDid you hear what we were talking about?â
Minghao raised a brow. âNot long. Why? Is it something Iâm not supposed to hear?â
You balked before answering, âNo,â but the inflection in your tone made you sound as if you were questioning yourself.Â
(Jeonghan made direct eye contact with you and mouthed the word pussy. You made a mental note to deal with him later in a potentially homicidal manner.)
âBy the way, Jeonghan, the guys you brought in are doing great,â Minghao went on to praise. âI donât think we even need to train them for that long. Seokminâs a natural at this.â
Jeonghan let out a wistful sigh. âI knew I recognized his potential.â
âDidnât you guys meet at a party? Howâd he manage to show barista potential?â you asked.
âI was thirsty and he brought me water.â
Nice. That was one way to prove himself, you supposed.Â
Then, Minghao turned his attention to you. âWere you gonna get some more shots today? Chan says he wonât make a run for it if he sees the camera this time.â
Earlier, you were trying to film Minghao showing Chan the proper technique of steaming milk, which Chan hardly was able to pay attention to because he was too busy gawking at the camera. As soon as Minghao was done talking, the high schooler hurried into the break room.Â
âI think I got everything I needed,â you answered, tilting your head up to see him smiling fondly down at you. The look in his eyes made you feel like something syrupy was trickling down your throat, as if you were drowning in his endearment. âWhyâd you call Jeonghan over here, anyway? Heâs pissing me off.â
As expected, your words got a rise out of Jeonghan. âAll I did was sit here!âÂ
âAnd you opened your mouth. Thatâs basically a misdemeanor.âÂ
âJeonghan, quit bothering her,â Minghao scolded. (âWhat? What the hell? What did I do?â Jeonghan went on to complain. âThis is going in my Yelp review, by the wayâone star for betrayal and terrible customer service.â) He looked back at you with a softened gaze as Jeonghanâs maundering turned into background noise. âYouâre not leaving yet, are you?âÂ
You were about to head out, but your legs suddenly didnât feel like moving once Minghao looked at you with those warm eyes of his that made your insides feel like they had been doused in kerosene and lit aflame.Â
Jeonghan, who was hell-bent on his mission to push you and Minghao closer as much as you resisted, appeared to take your hesitation as an opportunity.Â
âWeâre going back to my apartment to smoke,â your friend declared. Although that had never been the plan, you kept your mouth shut to see where Jeonghan was going with this. âYou coming, Hao?â
Minghao snuck a glance at you. âTonight? I donât know. I might be free.â
âHoly shit,â Jeonghan gushed before Minghaoâs words could even properly register in your ears, leaning over the table to put his hand on top of yours. âI should invite Soonyoung. Remember? The guy from our orientation group that you thought was cute?âÂ
Of course you remembered Kwon Soonyoung. How could anyone forget a face like that? But you wanted to reach over the table and strangle Jeonghan for bringing him up in the worst possible context and potentially screwing up your non-existent love life for good. As you fought down your murderous tendencies and glanced nervously between the boys, however, you noticed a muscle in Minghaoâs jaw twitch.Â
You started, âSoonyoung? I mean, sure, butââ
âActually, Iâll be there,â Minghao cut in, his face void of emotion. âWhat time?â
Jeonghan simpered, quite pleased with himself. âEight?âÂ
âSounds good.â
Without another word, the barista walked off, leaving you in stunned silence. Did you just witness Xu Minghao get jealous? There was no way for you to spin this as anything else; it was pure, unadulterated envy that bled out of him.Â
As your face grew increasingly hot, you spoke in a frantic, hushed voice, âHe cut me off. He cut me off! Have you ever seen Hao that mad? Iâve never seen him that mad.â
But Jeonghan didnât seem the least bit worried at all. In fact, he looked far too smug. âHeâs really mad, isnât he?âÂ
âWhatâd you say all that for? I donât think I can handle Hao and Soonyoung in the same room after this. I havenât even brought up Soonyoung since last year, you douchebag!â
âRelax,â Jeonghan replied coolly. âIâm not inviting Soonyoung. I just said that to fuck with Hao.â A Cheshire-like grin spread across his face, and he pulled out his phone to start tapping away in front of you. âIâve never seen him that jealous before. Maybe you should wear something nice and laceââ
âShut up,â you interrupted with a scowl. âThere were never any plans to begin with, were there?â
âYes, there wereânow,â he said, causing you to groan at the end. âI just told the group chat about it. You can thank me later.â
âI am not thanking you for the amount of torment you just put me through,â you said, hesitated, then stiffly added, âbut thank you.âÂ
âSee? Iâm always looking out for you.â He gave you a sincere look. âNow do me a solid and please get Seungcheol to show up.â
âI knew there was a catch.â
yoon jeonghan: smoke sesh at my place @ 9Â yoon jeonghan: be there or our friendshipâs over
boo seungkwan: i have no weed boo seungkwan: lost my vape too
you: real hustlers would never make excuses
wen junhui: sheâs right
vernon chwe: i have your vape seungkwan
boo seungkwan: wtf give it back boo seungkwan: wait my vape with vernonâs saliva đ¤¤
vernon chwe questioned âwait my vape with vernonâs saliva đ¤¤â
you: alright chill
boo seungkwan: if i close my eyes i can almost taste him
vernon chwe: um. vernon chwe: i'd like to give it back because itâs yours but idk if i should anymoreÂ
jeon wonwoo: Why are we having a smoke sesh on a random ass day jeon wonwoo: I have a midterm tomorrow
boo seungkwan: leave tomorrowâs problems for a Tomorrow You
jeon wonwoo: True jeon wonwoo: Ok see u guys there
yoon jeonghan: iâll provide the smoke sesh essentials
wen junhui: i have 11 edibles wen junhui: each person gets 1 and fight to the death over the rest
boo seungkwan: pog
you: thanks for that
jeon wonwoo: Amazing
vernon chwe: incredible
You were blasted out of your mind.
True to his word, Jeonghan didnât invite Soonyoung to his gathering; and true to your word, you roped Minghao into bringing Seungcheol along.Â
You were initially worried that things would be awkward between you and Minghao, but he seemed to be in a significantly better mood by the time you got to talk to him. He didnât even know that this whole night had been Jeonghanâs maniacal plot to set you guys up, so Minghao was completely oblivious when Seungkwan ushered him to sit next to you on the couch.Â
The night started off with Junhui passing out his edibles and auctioning off his last three to whoever did the best animal impression (one went to Minghao, one went to Jeonghan, and one went to Vernon). You were content with your one edible because you never had that strong of a weed tolerance, and halfway into watching Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, you felt your eyes starting to grow heavy.
There were two types of people when high, though: one was you, who could probably be considered motionless and inanimate; and the other was someone like Seungkwan, whose not-so-wise ideas seemed to increase tenfold.
And, of course, since Harold and Kumar wanted to go to White Castle, Seungkwan and Vernon wanted to go on an adventure, too.Â
After much planning (which you werenât part of because your body felt as if it was sinking into the couch cushions), your friends mobilized their efforts to come up with a scheme to bring back food from three different restaurants at once. They split themselves up into teams; Jeonghan and Seungcheol were going to Taco Bell, Seungkwan and Vernon were going to Panera Bread, and Junhui and Wonwoo were going to Chipotle.
If you were sober, you probably would have reminded them that UberEats still existedâor that they should probably look up the closing hours.
Naturally, you and Minghao were left in Jeonghanâs apartment. You didnât mind because they promised to bring back food, but Jeonghan had definitely orchestrated getting you alone with Minghao. This meant you were probably expected to make a move or do whatever else was deemed entertaining in their eyes.
âWhy didn't you go with them?â you asked Minghao. Everything seemed much more amusing to you all of a sudden, like the tuft of his hair that just wouldn't stay down.Â
âIâd rather stay here.â He shrugged and nudged your arm with his elbow. âWhy? Do you want me to go?â he teased.
You reached over and patted down the strands of hair that kept sticking up. âNo, stay. I need a witness if Junâs edibles kill me.â
He laughed. âYouâre not gonna die.â
âI am.â You placed a hand against your chest, right where your heartbeat thundered at lightning speed. âPlease donât be mad at me if I flatline.â
âNo, youâre fine,â he said, taking your hand and placing it over his heart. His heartbeat was fast but probably not as fast as yours. âSee? Theyâre the same.â
You thought Xu Minghao shouldâve done the right thing for your heart and not look so devastatingly good all the time, but he always managed to catch you off-guard with that sickeningly sweet smile of his. He also shouldâve been making an effort to not touch you so casually when your heart was already running at a million miles per hour. It wasnât very fair that you were cursed to control your emotions every time you saw him from a decidedly good angle (which was almost every angle). You needed to bury whatever you were feeling before he entered a dangerous territory of your heart.Â
On second thought, you werenât sure you could keep him out.
âNo, theyâre not,â you said. âI think itâs because of the weed and the fact that youâre very close.â
You swore you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips, but Minghao expertly concealed it by raising a brow at you instead. âOh? Youâre blaming it on me now?â
âBlame is a strong word.â
Even he couldnât stop the shit-eating grin from appearing on his face as he leaned in closer. âThen why am I such a problem for your heart, Y/N?âÂ
âI donât know,â you muttered. âYou just are.â
âDoes it have anything to do with me being objectively good-looking?â
You groaned. âYou wonât let that one go, will you?â
âUnfortunately for you, I think I like where this is going.â
Something very dangerous was brewing in your chest.
You weren't sure if it was the weed that was making you bolder, but the haze was surely letting down your inhibitions. Instead of feeling like you were sinking deeper into the couch, you felt like you were gravitating closer to Minghao.Â
âWill you ever give me an answer?â he asked, and your breath caught in your throat when he delicately held your chin with two fingers, turning your head to look at him.Â
âNo, I donât think so.â
He pouted, and then you mocked his pout in return.
And just when you thought he was done messing with you, Xu Minghao dipped his head to seal his lips over yours, kissing your pout away.Â
Alarmed, you pulled back immediately, your eyes wide and unblinking as you stared at him in shock. He didnât seem all that fazed himself, but he pressed his lips together tightly and withdrew his hand slowly. It was a short-lived kiss, but you were so close to getting hooked and losing all semblance of self-control.
âSorry,â he apologized quickly.
âW-why are you sorry?â you stuttered, pitchy.Â
âI shouldâve asked first.â
âYes.â
âWhat?â
You shook your head to clear the mess of tangled thoughts. This was the worst possible conversation to be having while you were both high out of your minds, but you were also feeling a lot more courageous now that you knew that Minghao actually wanted to kiss you.Â
You wanted to kiss him, too. Now that you had a taste, you couldnât resist thinking about how his lips would feel against yours again, how he would touch you again with such tenderness.
âSorry, I thought you were asking,â you said.
âAsking what?â
âTo kiss me.â
âOh.â Minghao went silent for an entire minute. (You counted the seconds.) You watched as he stared blankly into space before the weight of your words seemed to finally register. âOh.â
Your face felt hot. âDonât just oh me.â
Minghao chuckled in response. He shifted so that he was turned toward you, one of his hands finding purchase on the back of your neck and the other on your knee. You nearly forgot how to breathe as you were so focused on how his touch burned your skin.
âNo, I was just thinking about how cute you are,â he clarified.Â
âHuh?â You were pretty sure your voice was an octave higher, judging by how Minghao now looked even more amused by you. âCute?â
âIsnât it obvious?â His hand started to inch up from your knee, torturously moving up and down. You swallowed thickly. âI think youâre the prettiest girl Iâve ever seen.â
You choked out a laugh. âAre you kidding?â
âIâm dead serious,â he insisted, and you could tell he was by the way his eyes darkened and his hand slid higher up your thigh. âYou know Iâm not a liar, Y/N.â
When you didnât respond, he lowered his voice and continued, âYou know, a big part of dancing is about the finer details.â Minghaoâs hand dragged across your skin so slowly that you couldnât hold in your trembling breath full of want. âI always make sure to pay extra attention, so I think you can trust me when I tell you youâre pretty.â
For a moment, you were floundering for words. You were already feeling dizzy by his mere touch, and then he went on to say something that made you feel even more feverish. Xu Minghao truly was a wolf in sheepâs clothing.Â
âHere,â he said, âlet me just show you.â
He moved the hand on your thigh to grip your chin again, pressing a few tentative, experimental kisses to your lips before finally capturing them in a longer, desperate manner. Your heartbeat was hardly a rhythm anymore, just a steady line of white noise that rushed loudly in your ears. Kissing Minghao was addicting, and as you moved your arms to wrap around his neck, you found yourself losing the last shred of control that was keeping you from him.Â
By the time Minghao made the daring decision to slide his hand up your shirt, you two had been kissing each other senselessly. Your legs were haphazardly strewn across his lap while he bent you down to kiss you at a better angle.Â
Part of you was worried that this was moving too fast; the other half was begging you to speed up.
You couldnât make sense of anything when his tongue slid against yours so languidly, sending delightful shivers up your spine. One of your hands moved up to entangle your fingers in his roots, tugging just enough to have him groaning into the kiss.Â
Just when you were certain things were going to escalate furtherâand god, did you want them to escalateâa loud knock at the door had you and Minghao pulling apart like two magnets with opposite poles.Â
âI donât have a key!â Junhuiâs muffled yell was heard through the door.Â
You and Minghao exchanged a look before he stood up to get the door. You ran a hand through your hair to look presentable again, even though your half-lidded eyes were a dead giveaway that you were floating elsewhere, high up in the clouds.Â
With his taste still on your lips, the tangle of an unspoken truth wound itself tighter around your throat.Â
You used The Kiss⢠as an excuse for some space. The excuse you gave Minghao, however, was that you âneeded a week for editing.âÂ
This was a (white) lie for two reasons:
Minghao wasn't going to interfere with your editing process to the extent of needing to completely push him away.
You definitely did not need a full week for editing.
The cherry on top of your excellent decision-making was that it only took you a little over a day to start missing Minghao again.Â
The worst part of it all was that being the sweetest man to grace this planet, Minghao understood you right away and stopped texting you immediately. And, of course, you started to overthink his silence, as if you werenât the one who needed time.Â
After you and Minghao had been rudely interrupted by Junhui and Wonwoo, the two of you carried on like nothing happened. Apparently, Jeonghan had been very strategic about where he made everyone go to pick up food: Chipotle was close by, and he claimed it was important that you and Minghao didnât spend too much time alone in case things got awkward; and the other two were mostly for Jeonghanâs convenience (Panera Bread because he wanted a charged lemonade, and Taco Bell because it was the farthest away and gave him more time to be alone with Seungcheol). There were good intentions, yes, but you were bitter because the only part of Jeonghanâs plan that was supposed to benefit you was the part that ended up cockblocking you.
The guys made it impossible for you to get some alone time with Minghao for the rest of the night. You couldnât even see him the next day because you ended up sleeping in so late that Minghao was gone by the time you woke up.Â
Going back to your apartment the next morning felt like The Walk of Shame.Â
Now, you were sprawled across the couch in your living room, laptop warm on your stomach as you sifted through your camera footage. Yooyeon was sitting on the carpet and doing her nails at the coffee table. Earlier in the morning, when you gave her the rundown of the events from last night, The Kiss⢠had her jumping on the couch for so long that you ended up banishing her to the floor.
âAfter everything you just told me,â Yooyeon said, âI think you should just tell him how you feel. Donât mince your balls. Just get right to the point.â
âMince my balls? I donât think thatâs an expression.â You paused for what felt like forever until the appropriate idiom dawned on you. âItâs mince your words, dumbass, not mince your balls.â
âMince your words, mince your ballsâsame thing.â
âItâs really not.â
âOkay, but you two have had this weird back-and-forth for, like, a month now,â she said. âItâs not like heâs gonna say no to a date.â
âBut what if he does say no?â
Yooyeon rolled her eyes. âYou guys literally kissed. Pretty sure thatâs a free pass to ask him out.â
You thought back to Jeonghanâs words, how he suggested that you were still hurt by you and Minghao drifting apart in middle school and that you subconsciously thought it could happen again. It was uncharacteristic for you to hold a grudge this long, though, but you really couldnât remember what was the turning point that made you feel like you had to walk on eggshells around him.Â
After putting your headphones over your ears, you clicked on the next video file to decide whether you were saving it for the film or not. The thumbnail that popped up was Minghaoâs arm around your shoulders while you were trying to record the both of you sharing takoyaki outside. It was one of the videos that you took for fun in the middle of your shoot, but the sight made your heart flutter in your chest.
âIâll feed you,â Minghao in the video said, a wide grin on his face as he stabbed a toothpick into a takoyaki ball and inched it closer to your lips. âCareful, itâs hot.â
Your face twisted as soon as the searing hot takoyaki hit your tongue. You remembered how you were about to drop your camera and spit the takoyaki out, but in order to not embarrass yourself in front of Minghao and everyone else around you, it was crucial that you kept your composure.Â
âI said it was hot!â Minghao exclaimed when you shot him an icy glare.Â
As you attempted to eat the takoyaki without burning your tongue, some of the batter dribbled down your chin. You let out a muffled yelp when it scalded your skin, pointing frantically at the mess you were making. It looked like your lips were trying to frame the word tissue, but you immediately covered your mouthful of takoyaki with your hand.Â
Minghao laughed at you, a dimple carving into the corner of his lip. âStay still. Let me get it for you.âÂ
The video cut right while Minghao was wiping your chin with a spare napkin. You remembered how gentle his hold was on your face, as if you were fine china. The fond smile fixed on his face wasnât doing your heart any favors. You glanced over at Yooyeon to make sure she was too preoccupied with her nails to catch the growing smile that kept creeping onto your lips.
When you opened the next video file, the thumbnail wasnât a frame you recognized. Minghao was in his dance studio, facing the camera at the full-length mirror to capture his entire body. You remembered the exact day he must have filmed this because he let you attempt to braid his hair on the bus ride home.Â
âHey, Y/N, Iâm recording this without your permission,â he started, a mischievous grin playing on his face. âSince youâre out getting snacks, Iâve decided to vlog the choreo I just came up with.â
This time, you realized too late that your face had broken into a smile so affectionate that Cupid may as well have sent an arrow right through your chest. You were seven minutes into watching Minghao trying to master his self-made choreography when it finally hit you that you had spent the entire month with Minghaoâlaughing, hanging out, watching movies, going on long drives, studying at his cafĂŠ, and getting to know him all over again. All of that was under the pretext of filming your documentary, but now that you were realizing there was no excuse for you to be around him anymore, a strange feeling of apprehension consumed you.
You could say that you and Minghao were friends now, but your life had become so intertwined with his that you werenât sure how you would feel when things went back to normal.Â
Your attention snapped back to your laptop screen when Minghao stopped dancing to speak to the camera again.Â
âI know youâre probably procrastinating on editing this, so you owe me five dollars if you havenât watched this by the 19th,â he said. You checked the clock to confirm that it was, indeed, past said date and well into the week after. Just as you were about to make a note to send Minghao the money, he lowered his voice and continued, âBut, since you watched till the end, Iâll tell you a secret. You canât tell anyone, though, especially not Jeonghan!âÂ
You noticed his face was flushed a faint shade of pink when he confessed, âNow Iâm only telling you this because itâs been bothering me for weeks. You never brought it up, but⌠I intentionally didnât warm up your injeolmi toast that day because I wanted you to bring it back so that we could, um⌠talk, I guess. I still canât believe you ate the whole thing without realizing.â
Your heart stutteredâtripped, fell over, got up again, repeated the processâand, oh, you were a discombobulated mess on the inside.Â
Minghao chuckled to himself and started going off on a tangent about the injeolmi toast, but you were unable to move on from what he had said. (âYou know itâs supposed to be warmed up, right? I figured you just didnât know because youâve never had it⌠maybe I shouldâve given you the wrong drink instead.â)
The answer was jammed in your throat like a pill you couldnât swallow: you liked Xu Minghao.Â
And, strangely enough, the feeling wasnât unfamiliar.Â
You remembered exactly what it was like to long for the sun. Youâd fallen in love with all of Minghao long before. A rush of repressed feelings from your middle school years bubbled to the surface, and perhaps they didnât make any sense to you in the past, but it was all too clear now. What you felt for Minghao wasnât anything new; your first love blossomed long ago, and you plucked out all the petals of your feelings before they could grow any further.Â
You just didnât nip enough of them in the bud.Â
If you remembered correctly, you and Minghao started growing apart the day he got his first girlfriend. It wasnât that you two had a proper argument or fell out, but you safeguarded yourself from the heartbreak by distancing yourself until you were out of each otherâs lives. He must have been too caught up in his new relationship to realize it himself, but of course you couldnât blame him when you were the one who pulled away first.Â
But things were different now. You were different now.Â
In the past, you made sure to swallow your feelings down, no matter how painful and thick they were lodged in your throat. Now, however, despite how hard you tried to suppress them, you felt as if you were glowing in the light of reciprocated love. It was maddeningâagonizing evenâbut so wonderful.Â
âI think I like him, Yooyeon,â you blurted out, only looking in your roommateâs direction when you heard her knocking over her collection of press-on nails. The mess was hardly a concern to her right now, though. âMinghao, I mean.â
âCan I tell Jeonghan?âÂ
You reached around your laptop to grab a throw pillow and whack her over the head with it. âIâm having the most insane revelation of my life and pouring my heart out to you here, and your first instinct is to tell Jeonghan?âÂ
âOkay, damn, Iâll give it a few hours.â Yooyeon set her phone back down and turned around to face you again, her eyes lit up with excitement. âNow tell me everything. Like, everything. I need you to explain from start to finish.â
âThat might take a while,â you warned.Â
She snorted and picked up her nail file. âI think I can make time in my very busy schedule.â
Your interrogation with Yooyeon didnât take a few hours, as you expected it would; rather, your discussion cut into the late hours of the night, keeping you and your roommate up until dawn. Jeonghan joined over FaceTime at some point and screeched loud enough for you to worry about noise complaints (Wonwoo made a guest appearance, too), but you also learned that your friend group had seen this coming from the beginning. You werenât sure how you felt being the only one out of the loop, but Jeonghan made sure to point out that you were just completely oblivious.
You didnât exactly discuss your next steps, though. Yooyeon mentioned asking Minghao out on a date, but you werenât sure how to do that without acknowledging The Kiss⢠first. You had to bring it up somehow, but you kept putting it off to work on editing.Â
Thinking about Xu Minghao proved to be dangerous for your motivation. It had only been a week but you instinctively kept checking your phone to see if he texted you. (Spoiler: he didnât.) It took all of your willpower, but you forced yourself to push him out of your head and focus on getting the documentary done.Â
Editing was torturous. You practically spent all day and night glued to your laptop, whether it was in the dining hall or in your bed. For something that was only supposed to be ten minutes long, there were hours of footage for you to get through, some of which ended up being unusable, much to your frustration.Â
Finally, though, after long days of tirelessly working, the finished project was in your hands.Â
Of course, Minghao was the very first person you told. You were so giddy that you called him immediately, your heart soaring when he picked up on the second ring. In under an hour, you found yourself running to CafĂŠ du Soleil to show him the documentary.Â
Upon seeing Minghaoâs bright face, before you could even get a hi out, he crushed you in his embrace. You breathed in the addicting scent of his cologneâgaiac wood and cedar. It was clear that neither of you wanted to pull away, but you took a step back first.
âCongratulations,â he praised, rubbing small circles on your upper arm with his thumb. âDo I get to watch it now?â
âIf you have ten minutes to spare, we can watch it together,â you said, pulling out your laptop once you reached your usual table. âI wanted you to be the first person to see it.â
âIâm off my shift,â he replied, pulling up a chair right next to you, âso Iâve got time to kill.â
You handed him an AirPod to listen along with you. Sound was one of your favorite parts of creating a filmâsetting the atmosphere, building the tension, playing with senses and emotionsâso you really wished you could give Minghao the full experience, but since you were in a public setting, this would have to do.Â
The documentary opened with Minghao at his dance studio, sweat glistening on his toned muscles as his body moved to the beat. The demanding choreography coupled with his exhaustion didnât stop him from showcasing an almost flawless performance. There was a brief exchange with his mentor before the scene cut to an interview with Minghao explaining how his passion for dance started and how he had grown into competing in national-level tournaments.Â
You added a compilation of clips from Minghaoâs previous performances, as well as accounts from his peers about how hardworking and motivated he was. His mentor gave a particularly heartwarming speech on how driven Minghao was as a dancer and how he put his all into everything he did. The part you were the proudest of had to be getting Jeonghan to give his two cents on being Minghaoâs friend, and you were pleasantly surprised that he took it seriously and said something sweet.
âTo me, success is about working hard despite my circumstances,â Minghao said. In his interview clip, he took on a more serious tone. âI donât have to be the best dancer in the world as long as Iâm doing what Iâm passionate about. At some point, I think I lost myself for a while⌠but someone special pulled me out of that slump and pushed me to keep going. I canât thank her enough, honestly.â
You knew it was coming because you put the clips together yourself, but your face still grew hot regardless. Minghao being right next to you wasnât exactly helping your case or making you feel any less flustered. Perhaps most people watching your documentary wouldnât realize who he was referring to, but you knew that he was talking about you.Â
The film then got into Minghaoâs financial struggles with the cafĂŠ, showing segments of his mother talking about CafĂŠ du Soleil and how much the place meant to her family. You then showed the new part-timers being trained (with extra screen time for Seungcheol, as per Jeonghanâs suggestionâor, well, persuasion), and Seokmin even gushed about how much he looked up to Minghao in his own interview.Â
The documentary ended with a few words from Minghao, switching back and forth between the dance studio and the cafĂŠ. The screen then faded to black with the bustling sounds of the cafĂŠ gradually fading out.Â
It was only when your screen was dark enough to see your reflection that you realized there were tears in both yours and Minghaoâs eyes. You already watched it about five times yourself, but something was different about watching it alongside the person you worked with for over a month to bring your ideas to life.
And, apparently, you two werenât the only ones tearing up.
Minghao flinched when he turned his head to see the part-timers sitting at the table behind them and peering at the laptop screen. âFuck, you guys scared me.â
âSorry,â Seokmin apologized, hastily wiping at a stray tear. âIt was just so beautiful.â
Chan gave you a nod of approval. âThe only thing it needed was more screen time from me.â
âYou literally ran away every time you were on camera,â you said, swiveling around to look at the two baristas. âWere you two just sitting behind us this whole time?âÂ
âYes,â Seokmin confirmed. âWe appreciated the subtitles.â
Truthfully, you were extremely satisfied with their reactions. Your short film, A Bite of Summer, bringing Minghao to tears was enough to rile you up for days, and now you had two other people who got emotional over a documentary you filmed and produced with your own two hands.Â
âYou really outdid yourself,â Minghao murmured, and when you turned to him, he was looking at you as if no one else was in the cafĂŠ except you. He reached his hand out to brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear.
With a shy smile, you said, âIt wouldnât have come together without you.â
Through your periphery, you noticed Seokmin and Chan exchanging a look.
âAlright, theyâre having a moment,â Seokmin announced, standing up and gesturing for Chan to follow him. âLetâs get back to work.â
Minghao, whose ears were a bright shade of red now, tried to awkwardly laugh off the embarrassment. There was a twinkle in his eyes when he looked back at you, and you burned up all over again once you remembered how his soft lips felt against yours. Unfortunately, one of the symptoms of having a crush on someone was that your mind often went blank and filled itself up with all things Xu Minghao instead, so you couldnât exactly think straight right now.Â
âIâve finished the application and essay for the scholarship,â he said, âso I guess all thereâs left to do is submit.â
âIâm sure no one else had an incredibly talented film major directing and producing their video,â you joked.Â
âNo, youâre right. If I donât get the scholarship after this, I might take it personally.â
âOh, please,â you muttered quietly, âyouâre too nice.â
âIâm not that nice, Y/N.â To your surprise, Minghaoâs eyes hardened. You had never seen such an expression on his face, and it made your stomach instantly sink to your feet, but he bounced right back to his cheery self soon after. âIâll walk you home after we submit these?âÂ
âY-yeah.â
Minghao pulled his own laptop out of his bag while you copied the link to your video in Dropbox. You pasted the link into an email, but your finger hovered over the send button for far too long. Once it went through, you were officially done with this project; it no longer tied you to Minghao.Â
You sucked in a breath and sent him the link.
You could only stare at your Canvas submission page. The link to your documentary was already pasted in; all you had to do was hit submit, but you felt so anxious. Maybe you missed one of the guidelines, or maybe you needed to watch it again, but you knew deep down that you replayed it several times and it was as close to perfection as you wanted it to be.Â
âHao, Iâm scared. Letâs submit ours at the same time.â
He chuckled. âYou donât have anything to be scared of, but yeah, letâs do that.â
It took another thirty minutes for Minghao to prepare himself, though. He read over his application and essay again, handing it over to you afterward for a second look at it. When Seungcheol eventually entered the cafĂŠ for his shift, Minghao had him take a look at it, too.Â
Finally, you and Minghao were both ready with your submissions. You both had your cursors hovering over the submit button just before he slipped his free hand over yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze.Â
âReady?â he asked.
With the heat of a thousand suns burning your cheeks, you nodded eagerly.Â
You submitted your film.
It felt like a truckload of weight had been lifted off your shoulders, but the feeling of relief didnât come without the slight unease. You looked over at Minghao, who had just submitted his and was being clapped on the back by Seungcheol, and you felt weird. You felt so incredibly proud of yourself, but another part of you couldnât accept that it was over now.Â
âHey,â Minghao said softly, grinning when your eyes met his. âWe really did it.âÂ
You sort of melted under his gaze, the corners of your mouth hitching up into a lovesick smile. âYeah, we did.â
With that, his hand slipped out of yours to tell his mother about finishing the scholarship application, and you felt cold again.Â
Minghao offered to walk you home, but you could hardly hold a proper conversation with him; your head was a mess.
Maybe it was wrong for you to feel this way after your week of radio silence, but something about this felt so final. You were scared that once you reached your apartment, you would go back to the life you had before you reconnected with Minghao. As much as you told yourself that you were just overthinking, there was a nagging fear in the back of your head. Maybe it was from the high of submitting your project, but you felt a rush of adrenaline course through you.
You wanted to hold onto Minghao one more time and tell him how you felt.Â
It had been on your mind ever since you had your revelation yesterday, and sitting next to him in the cafĂŠ and pretending like you werenât mad for him was nearly impossible. As you two trudged down the cobblestone street, your hands balled into the pockets of your coat, you realized that something along the lines of a confession was ready to burst through your lips. Minghao kept droning on about a holiday-exclusive drink that was coming to the cafĂŠ, but you couldnât even listen to him properly without your brain screaming at you to tell him how you felt.Â
It was when he brought the conversation back to your documentary that you found the perfect opportunity to bring up the secret video he filmed.Â
âWe mustâve filmed hours of content,â he was saying, throwing his head back and groaning at the mere thought. âI canât believe you watched all of itâwait, did you watch all of it?â
âI did watch everything, Hao,â you said quietly.
âHm? What was that?â
âI knew that the injeolmi toast was supposed to be heated up,â you blurted out. Minghao froze in his tracks and stared at you, wide-eyed, and normally this wouldâve made you shy away immediately, but you wanted to be braver. You stopped walking too, and you raised your head to meet his eyes. âI thought you forgot to warm it up by accident, so I didnât want to make you feel bad.â
At your sudden admission, Minghao was speechless, even more so when you continued in a breathless ramble, âAnd I want you to know that the only reason I chose this subject for my documentary was because of you; and I missed you all of last week because all I could think about was how you kissed me; and I really fucking hate summer, Hao, but you made me fall in love with the sun.â
âAnd⌠and I like you,â you confessed. âI liked you back in middle school, and I like you again now.â
Minghaoâs jaw went slack as he searched your eyes, as if looking for a lie in your words, as if he could hardly believe that what you were telling him was real.
âAre you serious?â he asked quietly, almost scared that you would say no. He walked closer to you. âDonât lie to me.â
âIâm not!â Your courage threatened to falter, but you kept his gaze even as he reached out to hold your face with gentle hands. âIâve never been this honest in my life.âÂ
With a shuddering breath, he said, âYouâre telling the truth.â
âYeah, Iââ
âDo you even know how long Iâve been waiting for this moment?â Although Minghao spoke in a murmur, your words died on your tongue the moment he started talking, especially after his eyes dropped to your lips.
You could only blink back at him in stunned silence.
âYou were my first love, too,â he confessed.
His words struck you right in your chest. The winter bite no longer chilled you to the bone; if anything, a wildfire was ripping through your body. For a split second, you wondered if you were actually on fire, so you remained perfectly, unmovingly still until you realized that Minghao was waiting for you to answer.
You swallowed hard. âI was? Why didnât you tell me?â
âI guess I was scared it would ruin our friendship⌠but I didnât do a very good job of salvaging it, anyway.â You could see the regret painted on his face, but then he steeled his nerves. âI donât care if I donât win the scholarship, Y/NâI mean, I sort of careâbut no matter what happens, Iâm happy just being with you.â
Your heart beamed.
Even days ago, the mention of your past with Minghao wouldâve been a sore spot for you. Now, however, you didnât want it to keep weighing you down like an anchor buried deep within the sand. Maybe you were both just stupid kids who didnât know what to do with their feelings.
But all of that hardly mattered now that your souls found each other again. You werenât ever someone who was big on the idea of destiny, but if there were stars out there that predetermined fate, they must have been shining for you and Minghao.
This time, you initiated. It was almost effortless how your arms found themselves circling around Minghaoâs neck, drawing him closer to you. His eyes looked as if they were still in a dream, but after a few seconds, his gentle hands found your waist.Â
âIâm happy as long as Iâm with you, too,â you said, your voice only loud enough for him to hear.Â
Minghao let out a breathless sort of laugh, almost like he was still in disbelief, and you smiled before pressing your lips to his. Compared to your first kiss, which was charged with lust and intoxication, this one was so loving and calm that you lost yourself in him so easily. He smiled into the kiss, and you couldnât help yourself either once you felt his lips curve up against yours.
His hand found your chin, pulling away for a brief moment to take a good look at you. Let the high of your reciprocated feelings sink in. Your eyes flitted from Minghaoâs lips to his twinkling eyes, your heart doing a series of backflips and spins when you saw his lips curl into a smirk.
âYeah,â he said in a low voice, âI think I can get used to this.â
And when his lips found yours again, you were sure your souls touched, too.Â
(âSo, are you gonna tell me if Iâm objectively good-looking now?âÂ
âLet it go, Hao.â)
EPILOGUE
Vernon scratched the back of his head. âI donât know if I was tripping out, but I swear they just had us watch Kim Mingyu doing tricks on a skateboard for ten minutes straight.â
âI think that was an actual film.â Seungcheol looked through the pamphlet of student films that were being screened and read, âKim Mingyu Does a Kickflipâyeah, thatâs the one.â
âWhose bright idea was it to make us take Junâs edibles?â Jeonghan, who was fitted in a formal suit and tie, complained as he slouched deeper in his seat. His eyes were a few shades too close to red to pass as sober, but he was at least able to function on his own. âThis shit has to be laced with something.â
âThis is your fault, dude,â Seungkwan replied, exasperated. He didnât seem as faded as Jeonghan was, but he looked more like he had just woken up. âYou told us this would be more fun if we got high!â
âOkay, and who listened to me?â He sat up to catch Seungkwan, Vernon, and Wonwooâs guilty heads hanging shamefully. âExactly.â
Yooyeon shot you a withering look. âThey're stressing me out.â
It was the night of your filmâs showcase. After you passed the class with flying colors, your professor recommended your documentary be screened during the showcase for all the film majors in your year. It was an annual event, but only a certain number of films were selected from the students. In short, this was big for you. You invited your friends, of course, although you were starting to regret it now that you had to put Seungcheol and Junhui in charge of babysitting them.Â
âJeonghan, you really didnât have to dress up like that,â you said once you noticed the contrast between his formal attire and Seungkwanâs sweater and jeans ensemble. âThis isnât even a formal event.â
Jeonghan leaned over Seungcheol to tell you, âThis is important to me, okay?â
âAw, Jeongââ
âI have to be the hottest one here.â
Alright, then.Â
âJeonghan, remember what weâre actually here for,â Junhui prompted, motioning to the front of the theater.Â
You put a hand over your chest, touched. âJun, youâre too sweet, Iââ
âTo see Minghaoâs gorgeous face on the big screen,â he finished.
You decided you were going to let them finish their sentences from now on.Â
Minghao, who was sitting next to you and gripping your hand, raised your hands to press a kiss to each one of your knuckles. He saved his public displays of affection for rare occasions, such as your grand showcase.
You two had been dating for the past five months at this point. It wasnât much of a surprise to any of your friends, but what did change was that Minghao spent a lot more time with your friend group now. (Sometimes you worried if they liked him more than you, but you werenât one to vie for attention.) It was also safe to say that you two werenât exactly out of the honeymoon phase yet. Your heart still fluttered whenever he did anything particularly sweet, and Minghao still went bright red whenever you were feeling a little bolder.Â
âIâm so proud of you,â he said, his voice tickling your skin. âYou said your professor recommended submitting it to a film festival, right?â
âMhm.â You grinned and used the hand he wasnât holding to pinch his cheek lightly. âYour face could be seen by thousands.â
He laughed. âItâs really all about you, notââ Minghao paused when his phone buzzed from inside his pocket. You two exchanged a nervous look before he fumbled to pull it out. âI think itâs them.â
A week ago, the announcement of the scholarship recipient was supposed to be sent out. However, there was a complication that led to them postponing the results until today. You and Minghao had been on edge all week, but having to think about the outcome on the same day as your film showcase was nerve-wracking.
âIt is them.â Minghao bit his lip when he saw the sender in his notifications. He looked over at you and squeezed your hand tighter. âIâm gonna open it now.â
With suspended breath, you tried to gauge his reaction as he opened the email. (It wasnât very hard to read Xu Minghaoâs expression when he wore his heart on his sleeve.) He took so long that you thought he was reading over each word twice, but then you watched as his expression morphed into one of pure astonishment.
âWhat is it?â you asked. âWhat does it say?â
âIâŚâ He swallowed thickly. âI got it.â He turned to you again, mouth twitching into a grin. âI actually got it!â
Your life had been going so smoothly recently that the scholarship results had been plaguing your thoughts for the past few weeks. You didnât have to worry about your project anymore, so saving the cafĂŠ and getting Minghao his chance to compete had been weighing heavily on your mind.Â
Now, though, upon hearing those words and seeing his eyes light up, you felt like you were glowing yourself. They selected Minghao, and they watched your film. Your work was going to save his momâs cafĂŠ. It was going to let him keep chasing his dreams.Â
You let out a yelp so loud that dozens of heads turned in your direction, but you didnât mind any of them as soon as you reached over your armrest to tackle Minghao into a hug. He wrapped his arms around you tightly and pressed a kiss to your temple.Â
âI knew theyâd pick you,â you told him. âThereâs no one else who deserves it more.â
âItâs seriously all because of you,â he said. When you pulled apart, Minghao looked absolutely winded from being so overjoyed. âI have to tell my mom as soon as we get home. Sheâs gonna be so happy that we get to keep the cafĂŠ running.â
Jeonghan, who was brazenly eavesdropping, patted Seungcheol firmly on the chest. âHear that? You just got saved from unemployment.â He reached over Seungcheol (again) to dap up Minghao.Â
You felt someone tap your shoulder from behind, and you craned your neck around to see your professor gesturing for you to go up on stage. That was your cue to introduce your film, and you gulped down the bundle of nerves that rose up your throat.Â
Yooyeon squeezed your shoulder as you were getting up. Shakily, you straightened up, smiling weakly when your friends started cheering obnoxiously loud for you. Minghao caught your wrist before you walked to the front and gave you a reassuring squeeze that managed to calm your jittery hands.
You recognized a lot of your friends from your classes, so it wasnât as scary as you thought it would be, but you were hopeful that the unfamiliar faces would be cheering for you by the time they saw your documentary.Â
âWe know her!â Jeonghan and Seungkwan were screaming from the top, pointing you out to every stranger in their vicinity. âThatâs our friend!â
At the right wing of the stage, you were handed a mic and instructed to walk out to the center. You had never been in front of a crowd this huge, but seeing your friends in the seats melted away whatever fears were holding you back.Â
âThank you everyone for coming out today,â you spoke into the mic, smiling when it resounded throughout the grand auditorium. âMy nameâs Y/N, and Iâm so excited to share my documentary: The Xu Minghao Dilemma.â
TAG LIST ⸠if you made it all the way here, thank you so much for reading!!! i hope you enjoyed xu minghao's dilemma đ first and foremost, this was written for @junyangis so shoutout my film major inspo. i tried to emulate the film student experience to the best of my ability so i hope it delivers đ also you might notice the banner has jeonghan as the writer which sort of sounds misleading but it's because he was the one orchestrating everything between mc and minghao, so i thought it was fitting :') first fic of 2025, yay!! i hope to share more of my works with you this year & sending my love to everyone reading this right now ⥠thank you to everyone who asked to be part of the tag list as well !! đŤ
TAG LIST ⸠@jenoentry @wonudazed @aaniag @ily-cuz-i @fancypeacepersona @tokitosun @jeonnyread @reiofsuns2001 @markleeloveletter @dawn-iscozy @fennecnco @kookiedesi @nijisanjigenshin @xylatox @cookiearmy @nightshadeblooming @sillyuin @outrologist @flowerrpwrr @melonacco @sknyuz @enhasrii @skzdesi
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
keeping score â˝ mingyu x reader.
hating mingyu is easy. seeing him in any other light takes work, and youâre tired of trying to figure that out.
â˝ uni soccer player!mingyu x reader. â˝ word count: 20.4k â˝ genre: alternate universe: non-idol, alternate universe: university. romance, light angst. offshoot of @xinganhao's soccer team!hhu verse. â˝ includes: mentions of food, alcohol consumption. cussing/swearing. frenemies to ???, looots of bickering, slowburn, pining!! yearning!! tension, idiots in love, feelings realization/denial. reader is a fashion major, mingyu is a goalkeeper. hhu ensemble (mingyuâs soccer teammates). other idols make a cameo. â˝ footnotes: this entire piece of workâ all 20k words of itâ is dedicated to @maplegyu. this couple is our magnum opus, and i owe so much of this vision to her; i can only hope iâve done them justice. my favorite gyuldaengie! iyong iyo âto. ily. <3 đľ the official keeping score s01 playlist.
⸠S01E01: THE ONE WITH THE MONTHLY FAMILY LUNCH.Â
The bane of your existence arrives like clockwork every month, complete with a three-course meal, polite conversation, and the insufferable presence of Kim fucking Mingyu.
You love the Kims. Really, you do.Â
His mother is an absolute angel, his father tells the best stories, and his sister is one of the few people in this world you can actually stand. But Mingyu?
Mingyu is a menace. A thorn in your side. A perpetual migraine dressed in a soccer jersey and an overinflated ego.
And yet, because your families are close, youâve had the misfortune of growing up with him. There has never been a time in your life when he wasnât there wreaking havoc, getting on your nerves, making these monthly lunches a test of patience and endurance.
You barely step through the Kimsâ front door before he spots you, and the smirk that spreads across his face already has you bracing for impact.
âYou spend all your money on clothes, donât you?â Mingyu drawls, gaze sweeping over your carefully chosen outfit. This monthâs best attempt at dressing to impress. âDo you ever buy anything useful, or is it just fabric and brand names at this point?â
You flash him a saccharine smile, one wide enough to make your cheeks hurt. âI would ask if you ever spend money on anything besides soccer cleats, but then I rememberedââ You snap your fingers. âYou donât. Trust fund baby, right? Still trying to deserve that, Kim?â
He clutches his chest dramatically, as if wounded. âLow blow.â
You step past him, muttering, âNot low enough.â
The act drops at the dining table, of course. Because despite the mutual irritation that fuels your every interaction, you both have the social awareness to play nice in front of your parents.Â
Mingyu is seated next to you, and it takes every ounce of willpower not to roll your eyes when he oh-so-helpfully pulls a serving dish closer. To himself, obviously.
âLet me guess,â you say, resting your chin on your hand. âYouâre carb-loading for a game?â
Mingyu, mid-scoop of mashed potatoes, doesnât even blink. âNah, just loading up so I donât wither away listening to you talk about⌠what was it last time? The âpsychological complexity of lipstick shadesâ?â
His mother lets out a dramatic sigh, though thereâs no real dismay behind it. âMingyu, be nice.â
âI am nice,â he says easily, flashing his mother an innocent smile before turning back to you, tone all too sweet. âAnd personally, I think youâre more of a soft pink girl than a red one.â
Itâs a direct dig at your choice of makeup for the day. You know heâs just speaking out of his ass; he doesnât know the first thing about shades, and red is definitely your color. You take a slow sip of your drink before matching his tone. âThatâs funny. I was just about to say youâre more of a benchwarmer than a starter.â
His father chuckles, far too used to this by now. âOh, come on,â he chuckles. âYou two have known each other since you were in diapers. When will you stop with the little jabs?â
âMaybe theyâll finally get along,â your mother says amusedly, ânow that theyâre graduating.âÂ
You and Mingyu exchange a look, one perfectly in sync despite how much you loathe the idea of ever being on the same wavelength.
Nose scrunch. Head shake.
Not in this lifetime.
There was a timeâ brief, fleeting, and foolishâ when you thought you might actually be friends with Mingyu.
You mustâve been, what, eight? Nine? Young enough to still believe that people could change overnight, that rivalries were just a phase, that some friendships took time to bloom.
Back then, it was silly competitions: Who could swing higher at the playground, who could run faster in the backyard, who could stack the tallest tower of Lego before the other knocked it over. It was childish, harmless, even fun at timesâ until you saw his real colors.
And now, over a decade later, nothing has changed.
He still finds new and inventive ways to drive you up the wall.Â
Case in point: Your familiesâ traditional group photo.
You donât know why you still expect him to behave. You shouldâve known better.
Just as the camera shutter is about to go off, you feel something tickle the back of your neck. You tense immediately, but itâs too late. Mingyu, standing behind you, has flicked the ribbon of your dress like an annoying schoolboy pulling on a pigtail.
You whirl around, shooting him a sharp glare.
âDonât,â you warn through gritted teeth.
He gives you a wide, infuriatingly innocent grin. âDonât what?â
You turn back, forcing a pleasant smile for the next shot. And yetâ there it is again. A slight tug, barely noticeable, but just enough to let you know heâs doing it on purpose.
The camera clicks.
This time, you whip around so fast he actually takes half a step back.
âI swear to God, Kim Mingyuââ
âKids,â your mother calls, barely looking up from her phone. âLet it go.â
âWeâre not kids,â you shoot back.
Mingyu nudges your side with his elbow, leaning down ever so slightly to murmur, âYouâre right. Weâre adults now. Which means you can use your words instead of glaring at me like youâre trying to set me on fire with your mind.â
You retaliate by elbowing him in the ribs. He squeaks and begins to whine to his mother.Â
There is no universe in which you and Mingyu will ever get along. No amount of family lunches, no shared childhood history, no forced photo ops can change that.
And youâre perfectly fine with that.
⸠S01E02: THE ONE WITH SOCCER PRACTICE.Â
Mingyu is having a good practice sessionâ until Seungcheol ruins it.
âYo, loverboy,â the team captain calls out, grinning as he jogs up beside him. âYouâve got an audience today.â
Mingyu frowns, breath still heavy from his last sprint across the field. âHuh?â
Seungcheol subtly tilts his head towards the stands.
And there you areâ looking as out of place as a flamingo in a snowstorm.
Youâre sitting as far from the field as possible, like being too close might infect you with âsportsâ. Your arms are crossed, your pink-clad form nearly swallowed by the ridiculous sun hat and oversized sunglasses shielding you from the very concept of nature. A frilly umbrella is propped up beside you, even though there isnât a single drop of rain in sight.
The sheer disgruntlement on your face is almost impressive.
Mingyu groans. âOh, come on.â
âWhoâs that?â Vernon asks casually, appearing beside Mingyu and Seungcheol like a curious puppy. Heâs the newest, youngest guy on the team, so he canât be blamed for knowing the semi-constant fixture in Mingyuâs life.Â
Wonwoo, stretching nearby, lets out a knowing hum. âThat,â he responds, âis Mingyuâs one true love.â
Vernon blinks. âOh.âÂ
Seungcheol laughs, slinging an arm around Mingyuâs shoulders in a way that always ticked the latter off. âThe love of his life. His childhood sweetheart. The Juliet to his Romeo,â the older boy sing-songs.Â
Mingyu scowls. âShut up.â
Vernon looks at you again. The way your expression barely changes as you sip from an offensively fuschia thermos makes him squint in confusion.
âShe doesnât seem too happy to be here,â the youngest notes, and Mingyu holds back the urge to snort.Â
Youâre fidgeting now, glaring at a single blade of grass thatâs found its way onto your lap, as if deeply offended by its existence. Heâs half-tempted to dump an entire barrel of dried leaves on you, just to see you screech.Â
For now, though, Mingyu settles with shoving Seungcheolâs arm off him. âYou guys are so annoying,â Mingyu grumbles.Â
Wonwoo pushes his glasses further up his face. âWeâre just stating facts.â
âTheyâre not facts,â Mingyu snaps. âAnd sheâs not here because of me. Trust me, if she had any choice, sheâd be anywhere but here.â
Vernon looks between Mingyu and you again, then back at Mingyu. ââŚSo?âÂ
âSo, what?â
The younger player shrugs. âWhy is she here?â
Mingyu rolls his eyes. âSheâs waiting for me.â
Seungcheol lets out a dramatic gasp. âOh? Waiting for you? Just how deeply are you entangled with this woman, Kim Mingyu?â
Itâs a story that Seungcheol and Wonwoo already know. Mingyu knows theyâre just being difficult for the hell of it, trying to goad him into reacting. He focuses on indulging Vernon, knowing the longer he avoids it, the longer heâll be picked on.Â
âI owe her family,â Mingyu says through his teeth. âItâs not some stupid love storyâ her parents basically helped raise me when mine were busy working. You think I want to drive her places? I donât. But my mom guilt-trips me into it every time.â
Seungcheol and Wonwoo share an unimpressed look.
âUh-huh,â Wonwoo says. âPoor you. Forced to chauffeur a beautiful girl around in your nice car. Sounds awful.â
Mingyu fights the urge to sulk. âIt is. Sheâs unbearable.âÂ
âShe seems pretty quiet,â Vernon grunts as he adjusts his cleats.Â
âThatâs because sheâs sulking.â Mingyu isnât sure why, but once the explanation starts, it just keeps going. âNormally, she never shuts upâalways going on about useless crap, complaining about things normal people donât even think about. Like, oh no, her new nail set doesnât match the vibe of her outfit, or God forbid a restaurant uses the wrong kind of parmesan.â
He realizes heâs said too much when he notices Wonwoo fighting back a smirk, and Seungcheol biting the inside of his cheek. The latter pushes it further with a drawl of, âSo, what Iâm hearing is⌠you listen to her. A lot.â
Mingyu groans, rubbing his temples. He really had to learn how to keep his mouth shut. âNo, I suffer through her,â he insists. âThereâs a difference.â
Wonwoo folds his arms. âYou know, itâs funny. You talk all this smack, but I donât think Iâve ever heard her rant about you.â
âThatâs just because sheâs stuck-up. Always has been,â scoffs Mingyu.Â
His mind flashes back to childhoodâ when he was seven and you were six, and you turned your nose up at his scraped knees, saying, Only boys who donât know how to run properly get hurt like that.
When he was ten and you were nine, and you refused to eat a slice of pizza at his birthday party because you only liked the fancy kind with real mozzarella, not whatever that was.Â
When he was fifteen and you were fourteen, and he caught you scoffing at his old sneakers, telling your mom some people just have no concept of âaesthetics.â
And yet, despite everything, your families had always forced you together.
Mingyu was never given the option to just avoid you. Your parents and his were practically inseparable, and since childhood, heâs had to deal with your high standards and exasperated sighs and perpetual disapproval over whatever nonsense you deemed worth being mad about that day.
âI promise you, sheâs the worst,â Mingyu mutters, stretching his arms behind his head.
Vernon, still watching you, tilts his head. âSo, what does she think of you?â
That oneâs easy.Â
âShe hates me,â Mingyu says simply. Like itâs a fact. The sun is warm, the sky is blue, and you hate Kim Mingyu.Â
Seungcheol grins, his smile a little too sharp and knowing for Mingyuâs liking. âOh, well. At least thatâs mutual, right?â
Mingyu doesnât answer, but he does glance back at you just in time to see you struggling to shove your umbrella back into its case. You catch his eye and stick your tongue out at him, the act so childish that Mingyu can only roll his eyes and flip you off.Â
The feeling was most definitely mutual.Â
The practice goes as usualâ drills, passing exercises, a scrimmage where Mingyu manages to nutmeg Wonwoo (which earns him a half-hearted shove after the play). By the time theyâre finishing up with cool-down stretches, the sun is dipping low in the sky, casting the field in warm golds and oranges.
Mingyu runs a hand through his sweat-dampened hair and chugs the last of his water bottle before chucking it at Seungcheolâs back. âCaptain,â he calls mockingly, âwe done?â
Seungcheol catches the bottle before it can hit him. âYeah, yeah. Go, be free.â
Mingyu doesnât need to be told twice. He grabs his bag from the bench and jogs off the field, presumably heading toward you, who is still seated cross-armed, looking thoroughly unimpressed with the entire practice.
The three boys watch the interaction from a distance. Mingyu says something; you scowl. He nudges your knee with his foot; you swat at him.
Wonwoo rolls his shoulders. âYou think todayâs the day?â
Seungcheol lets out a low chuckle, shaking his head. âNot yet. Give it another few months.â
Vernon furrows his brows. âWhat?â
âThe bet,â Wonwoo says simply.Â
Vernon blinks. âWhat bet?â
âWeâve had a running bet for years about how long itâll take those two to get together,â supplies Seungcheol.Â
Vernon looks between them, then at you and Mingyu again. The two of you now seem to be engaged in some sort of bickering match. Mingyu pulls at the edge of your pink cardigan, and you swat his hand away with increasing irritation.
How long itâll take the two of you to get together?Â
âYou guys are insane,â Vernon says flatly.
Wonwoo snorts. âTell me something I donât know.â
âI mean, look at them.â Vernon gestures vaguely in your direction. At this point, youâre looking like youâre five seconds away from pouncing Mingyu. âThey hate each other.â
Seungcheol and Wonwoo do it again. That shared look, that quiet understanding.Â
âLook again,â the team captain urges, and Vernon does.Â
He watches as Mingyu steps back, laughingly avoiding your physical assault. Youâ despite your obvious frustrationâ fight a smile before rolling your eyes.
Thereâs something there. Some spark of familiarity, of knowing each other too well, of a connection that might just be a little too deep for pure hatred.
Huh.Â
A beat. And then Vernon digs through his pocket and procures a couple of loose bills.Â
âBefore the year ends,â he declares, making Seungcheol and Wonwoo chuckle.Â
⸠S01E03: THE ONE WITH THE JANKY ELEVATOR.Â
You donât know why you always end up here.
Actually, no. You do know why. Because your parents insist you wait at Mingyuâs place whenever theyâre running late to pick you up, since apparently his apartment is safer than a cafĂŠ or a mall. Nevermind that the biggest threat to your wellbeing is standing right beside you, scrolling through his phone with a self-satisfied smirk.
âWas a functioning lift too much to ask for when you were looking for apartments?â you say, eyeing the rickety metal doors of his apartment buildingâs elevators.Â
Mingyu doesnât even look up. âOh, sorry, princess. Next time, Iâll make sure to move into a high-rise penthouse with gold-plated buttons just for you.â
You make a noise of disgust, jabbing at the button with unnecessary force. âAs if Iâd ever step foot in your place again after today.â
âYou say that every time.â
You open your mouth for a comeback, but the elevator doors groan open just then. The lights flicker ominously. Thereâs a suspicious stain on the corner of the floor. You step in with a sigh, Mingyu following behind you.
The doors shut. The elevator lurches upwards with a wheeze.
âYou know,â Mingyu says, âif you hate coming here so much, you could always just Uber home.â
âOh, believe me, if I didnât have to be here, I wouldnât. But my mom insists youâreââ You pause, making air quotes, âââtrustworthy.ââ
He smiles like heâs some God-given gift. âI am trustworthy.â
âYou once stole my fries in front of my face and claimed I was hallucinating.â
âOkay, butââ
Before he can finish, the elevator gives a violent jolt.
And then everything goes black.
For a moment, thereâs silence. Just the quiet hum of the emergency light kicking in, the faint creak of metal settling.
Then, Mingyu takes a sharp inhale.
âUh.â His voice is suddenly tight. âNo. Nope. No way.â
You blink, eyes adjusting to the dim lighting. âOh, great,â you grumble. âFantastic. This is what I get for stepping into this death trap of a building.â
âI thinkâ I think I need to sit down,â Mingyu mutters, lowering himself to the floor.
You huff. âBe so for real right now, you lumbering idiot.â
But then you actually look at him.
The usual cocky tilt of his head is gone. His fingers are gripping the fabric of his joggers, his breathing coming in short, uneven bursts. His eyes are darting around the elevator, as if checking for an exit that isnât there.
Oh.
Oh.
Heâs genuinely scared.
A new, unfamiliar kind of concern settles in your chest. âWait,â you say, kneeling beside him. âYouâre not actuallyââ
âI justââ Mingyu gulps. âI hate elevators. And small spaces. And, you know, the whole getting stuck thing.â
And then it clicks.
You remember being kids, when the power went out at the Kimâs summer house during a thunderstorm. You remember little Mingyu, barely taller than you, sitting stiffly on the couch with his knees pulled to his chest, tryingâ and failingâ not to let his fear show. You remember the way his face twisted when the room was swallowed by darkness, how his mother had to light candles and sit beside him until the power returned.
He never admitted he was scared, of course. Mingyu never admitted anything.
But you knew.
Looking at him nowâ his face pale, his jaw tightâ you realize some things donât change.
Without thinking, you place a hand on his arm. âHey. Breathe, okay? Itâs fine.â
Mingyu exhales shakily. âI am breathing.â
âYeah, like a terrified chihuahua,â you mutter. âDeep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth.â
He gives you a look, squinting at you through the darkness, but he obeys. Inhale, exhale.
You squeeze his arm. âSee? Not so bad.â
He closes his eyes, focusing on his breathing. You sit beside him, fingers still on his arm, grounding him. After a few beats, his breathing evens out. His shoulders relax.Â
â⌠Donât tell anyone,â he finally says, voice barely above a whisper.
âOh, Iâm definitely telling the team.â
âI will murder you.â
An unbidden laugh escapes you. You nudge his knee with yours. âSee? Youâre fine.â
âStill hate this,â Mingyu exhales, rubbing his face.Â
âYou are kind of pathetic.â
âYeah, yeah.â He leans back against the wall. Then, like it pains him to say it, he adds, âThanks, though.â
You roll your eyes, but you donât remove your hand from his arm.
With a sudden jolt, the elevator whirs back to life. The overhead lights flicker before settling into a steady glow, and the quiet hum of movement returns beneath your feet.
Mingyu exhales the biggest sigh of relief youâve ever heard. âOh, thank God.â
Heâs on his feet before the doors have even fully opened, practically leaping into the hallway like heâs just escaped certain death. You follow him with a disbelieving huff.Â
It isnât until youâre several paces into the hallway that you realize youâre still holding onto him.Â
Your fingers are curled around his forearm, right where theyâd been when you were calming him down. Mingyu, ever the opportunist, notices right before you can subtly let go.
He tilts his head. âAww, you care about me,â he coos, but thereâs a hint of something in his tone. You think it might be genuine appreciation; youâre not about to dwell on it, though.Â
âShut up,â you snipe. You want to shove him back in the elevator and see just how cocky he can be when it crashes out again.Â
âAdmit it,â he sing-songs, trailing after you toward his apartment. âYou were worried about me.â
âI was trapped in an elevator. I was worried about myself.â
âUh-huh. Sure.â
You choose not to dignify him with a response, striding ahead until you reach his door. Mingyu unlocks it with a beep, stepping aside to let you in.
As soon as you enter, you do what you always doâ make yourself at home. You toe off your shoes, toss your bag onto his couch, and march straight to his kitchen. The years of forced proximity have made this something as good as a routine.Â
âYou got anything to eat?â you ask. The question is rhetorical; youâre already prepared to rob him of whatever he has in his pantry.
Mingyu scoffs as he kicks off his sneakers. âThis is not a restaurant.â
âClearly,â you huff, swinging open his fridge. The contents are bleak. A few eggs, a half-empty carton of orange juice, a suspiciously old container of takeout, and at least three protein shakes.
You make a face. âBe serious.â
He sprawls onto the couch. âWhat?â
âYou live like a caveman.â You shut the fridge with an exasperated sigh, turning to scan the apartment. Your gaze lands on a new decorative shelf against the wall, filled with an assortment of mismatched trinkets. Theyâre all atrocious and generic.Â
Youâre inclined to tease him that itâs why heâs bitchless, this sheer lack of consideration for aesthetics. You reel that in, though, opting instead for a lighter, âSince when did you care about home decor?â
Mingyu props his feet on the coffee table. âItâs called having taste,â he shoots back.Â
âYou donât have taste.â
âExcuse youââ
âThis,â you gesture at the shelf, âis ugly.â
Mingyu grabs the nearest throw pillow and chucks it at you.
You barely dodge it. It whizzes past your head, and once again, you think this is exactly one of those things you shouldâve expected from Mingyu. Heâs immature, and obnoxious, and unbelievably rude.Â
âDid you justââ youâre gaping, but then another pillow flies your way.Â
You snatch it out of the air, and then you catch the way heâs already scrambling for another âweaponâ. âYou are such a child!â you screech, except youâre not above retaliation.Â
What follows is a semi-violent pillow war that neither of you are willing to concede. Itâs ridiculous, and loud, and it feels exactly like every argument youâve ever had with him. Full of unnecessary dramatics and zero real malice.
Just like that, the moment in the elevatorâ the quiet, vulnerable, human side of him youâd glimpsedâ disappears into the back of your mind. A moment of weakness, never to happen again.
Because Kim Mingyu is still the same as heâs always been.
⸠S01E04: THE ONE WITH THE NIGHT OUT.Â
Mingyu swears heâs going to kill you.Â
Heâs probably made that threat dozens of times in the past years, but tonight, heâs fairly sure heâll actually do it.Â
He should be in bed right now, getting some much-needed shut-eye for tomorrowâs game. Itâs the type of do-or-die match where scouts will be in the audience, after all, and while Mingyu doesnât really give two damns about going pro, he wouldnât mind the validation.
Alas, instead of being in his bed, heâs stuck in traffic en route to wherever the hell youâve gone drinking tonight.Â
If it had just been you that asked to be picked up, Mingyu wouldâve ended the call without question. Probably would have told you to get off his case and book a cab yourself.Â
But itâs your mother whoâs asking, who has entrusted your safety and well-being in Mingyuâs allegedly capable hands. Heâs not about to turn down the woman who practically helped raise him.Â
Disgruntled, Mingyu pulls into the parking lot of where you said youâd be drinking. Some swanky club with thumping music and neon lights.Â
âSo help me, God,â Mingyu grumbles underneath his breath as he stomps out of his car and toward the establishment. When the bouncer charges him an entrance feeâ an entrance fee!â Mingyuâs urge to cause you bodily harm only triples. He coughs up the fee and marches into the club, fully prepared to give you grief for this little stunt.Â
The club is alive, full of sweaty bodies pressing against each other and questionable house remixes that everyone is pretending to like. Itâs an assault on the senses, and Mingyu absolutely loathes it.
He wasnât about to act holier-than-thou. Heâs had his fair share of drinking escapades, had even been to this very club himself once or twice. Still, itâs different when youâre ready for a night out and when youâve been forced out of your restful evening because of a person you can barely even consider a friend.Â
It takes him all of three minutes to find you.Â
Take away the history, the tension, and fine. Mingyu would willingly admit: Youâre gorgeous. Sometimes. When you tried.Â
Itâs more than the sinfully short dress, more than the ankle-length boots that no one else would pull off. Itâs that laugh of yours, so bright and open and loud as you let one of your friends twirl you around on the dance floor. The sound reaches Mingyu over the din of debauchery, and he feels a muscle in his jaw tick.Â
He hates it. He hates you.Â
He wants to be home, back in his bed, instead of standing five paces away from a stunning you. A you that he will have to drag down because of responsibility, because of his blasted pride. Whether or not he cares to admit it, he hates that, too.Â
Mingyu weaves through the crowds of dancing people until heâs reached you. Heâs just about to call your name when the DJ plays a song that you seem to like, because you let out a loud squeal and try to jump.Â
Key word: Try. Youâre just a little off-balance from your choice of shoewear and the alcohol running through your veins, because your attempt has you stumbling.Â
Instinctively, Mingyu reaches out to catch you. His palms land on your waist as your back falls against his chest, and it nearly kills himâ the sound of your drunken giggle. You tilt your head back to look up at him.
It starts off as a half-lidded, hazy expression, one that shows off just how intoxicated you already are. But thereâs something different there, too. A heat. A hunger. One that shows youâre out for something, someone tonight. Mingyu hates that the most.Â
He hates how that look on your face disappears when you realize who caught you. Immediately, your unchaste expression gives way to something more akin to sulky discontent, like Mingyu is the bearer of bad news.Â
And he is, really, because his fingers squeeze at your waist as he glares down at you.Â
âItâs past midnight, Cinderella,â he says, pitching his voice just loud enough above the music. âTime to head home.â
Your reaction to him is always a good litmus test of how intoxicated you are. When you jut out your lower lip and whine out a petulant âMingyu!â, that gives him the idea that youâre pretty damn gone.Â
âYouâre no fun,â you whine, trying to wriggle free from his grip. âThis is my favorite songââÂ
âAnd itâs one in the fucking morning. Letâs go.â
Somehow, you manage to peel away from him. One of your friends links arms with you, the two of you bursting into laughter of giggles. Mingyu is tempted to leave you then and there. Thereâs nothing funny about this situation, and heâs already planning to tell you off for how this might affect how he plays tomorrow.Â
âOne more song!â You put up one finger, practically shoving it up to Mingyuâs face. âPleaseee?âÂ
Heâs only halfway through saying something like no, letâs go before your friend is dragging you further into the throng of dancing people. Mingyu can already feel a headache blossoming beneath his temple.Â
Resigned to his fate, he steps to the fringes of the crowd. He isnât in the mood to scream to All I Do Is Win with all of these strangers; the least he can do is keep an eye on you.Â
You, scream-singing the lyrics. You, whose dress rides up with every little sway. Youâ laughing, dancing, still several paces away from Mingyu.Â
He crosses his arms over his chest and briefly closes his eyes, exhaling through his nose. A voice snaps him out of his reverie.
âHey, handsome. Want a drink?âÂ
Mingyuâs eyes flutter open. He hadnât noticed the girl sidling up to his side. Sheâs a bombshell, sure, with a lecherous gaze and a barely-there dress, but Mingyu trips up over the fact that the two of you kind of smile the same.Â
âNo, thank you,â he says curtly. âIâm driving.âÂ
The girl throws her head back and laughs. Mingyuâs headache feels like itâs worsening.
âYouâre too good-looking to be the designated driver,â the stranger purrs. When she reaches out to run an innocent finger over Mingyuâs crossed arms, his lips tug into a slight frown. Heâs no stranger to girls coming on to him. Heâs entertained a couple, even, in settings exactly like this.Â
Tonight, heâs not in the mood. Thatâs it. Thatâs all there is to it, he thinksâ as if heâs trying to convince himself.Â
Thatâs how he builds the courage to lie through his teeth.Â
âIâm here to drive my girlfriend home, actually.â
In the morning, he will justify it like this: He wanted the stranger to leave him alone. He wasnât exactly lying. You were a girl, and you were⌠kind of his friend. And he was driving you home. That much was true.Â
In that very moment, though, his heartâ the treacherous fool that it isâ skips a single, infinitesimal beat at the prospect of calling you his âgirlfriendâ.Â
The stranger is undeterred. Itâs a common throw-off, after all. The lie about having a significant other.Â
âWhereâs this girlfriend of yours?â she asks, one eyebrow cocked upward in amusement.Â
Mingyuâs eyes flick over the throng of dancers. Right. He had been watching for you. He opens his mouth, about to mention some notable feature of yours, when the words stick in his throat. Because heâs looking right at youâÂ
You, with your arms over the shoulders of some guy. You, tilting your face upward to kiss said stranger.Â
The strobe lights cut Mingyuâs vision into strips. He sees each moment like a flashbulb blinking on and off: Your eyes fluttering close. The strangerâs hand slipping to the small of your back, right over the curve of your ass. Your body, arching upward a little bit more.
Mingyu, still paces away.Â
By the time youâre pulling away from the man, Mingyu is already at your side. Heâs still ever so gentle as he yanks you away from the strangerâs grasp.
âWeâre going,â he announces.
The guy you had just been kissing lets out some strangled sound, something to the effect of âwhat the hell, man,â but Mingyu canât be bothered to stick around and clarify. He focuses on hauling your ass away, even as you begin to kick up a fuss.Â
âBut he said I was prettyââ youâre whining, the tone of your voice grating on every single one of Mingyuâs nerves.Â
âBecause you are pretty!â he snaps as he guides you through the crowd. âDonât go around making out with anyone who compliments you. Jesus!â
Somehow, the two of you manage to spill out of the club. Mingyu has a white-knuckled grip on your shoulders as he attempts to push you forward, towards his car.Â
You only add to his mounting annoyance when you dig the heels of your boots into the ground, keeping him from going any further.Â
âFor fuckâs sakeââ Mingyu grumbles. âI swear to God, I will leave you. Iâm going to leave you to your own devices in this parking lot, you leech.âÂ
âYou wouldnât,â you say shrilly. âYou would never leave me!â
âI would,â he shoots back. He contemplates just throwing you over his shoulder and being done with it.Â
That train of thought is swiftly interrupted by you spinning around to face him. You plant your hands on your hips, speaking surprisingly evenly for someone who looks drunk out of their mind. âI was having fun,â you sniffle.Â
âAnd I was supposed to be asleep four hours ago,â he seethes. âInstead, Iâm dealing with your bratty assââÂ
âI didnât ask you toââÂ
âYour mother asked me toââÂ
âWell, she can go andââ
âPlease!â
Mingyu huffs out the word with his whole chest. Honestly, at this point? Heâs not above begging. He runs his hands over his face before wringing them together.Â
âCan we just go home already?â he pleads. âI have to be up by six, and the student manager will have my neck if Iâm late one more time. Please, please, please just get in my car already.âÂ
You only stare him down with that steely expression of yours. Once again, Mingyu toys with the idea of manhandling you into his backseat, until you speak up.Â
âHe said I was pretty,â you repeat, like thatâs somehow the most important fact of the night.Â
âYou are,â he responds exasperatedly.Â
âYouâre lying,â you insist. It might be a trick of the light, a fleeting moment in the darkness of the otherwise empty parking lot, but Mingyu swears he sees a flicker of insecurity in your eyes.
You go on, âYouâre just saying that. Unlike the guy back there, you donât actually thinkââÂ
âOh my God. Fine. Fine. I donât think youâre pretty!â Mingyu throws his hands up in the air in a gesture of defeat.Â
You look like youâre about to deflate, but then he barrels on, going absolutely insane over this whole stupid affair. âI think youâre breathtaking. I think youâre the most gorgeous girl in the world,â he bites out. âBut, holy shit, are you the most annoying one, too!â
If youâre surprised, thereâs no indication of it in your expression. But your hands do drop from your sides, and youâre looking at Mingyu with a little less disdain than a couple of seconds ago.Â
A beat. And thenâ
âYou think Iâm breathtaking?â you ask, the ghost of a smirk on your lips.Â
To hell with it. Mingyu surges forward and wraps his arms around your waist, hauling you off the ground.Â
Youâre squealing and raining punches down his back the entire way to his car.Â
⸠S01E05: THE ONE WITH THE MORNING AFTER.Â
You wake up to the distinct smell of something warm and buttery wafting through the air, the scent tugging you out of your heavy slumber.Â
Your head is pounding, and your throat feels like you swallowed a gallon of sandpaper, but worst of all, thereâs a familiar sense of displacementâ the kind that comes with waking up somewhere that isnât your own bed.
Cracking one eye open, youâre met with the soft glow of morning light filtering through unfamiliar curtains. It takes you a second, but then you recognize the room instantly: Mingyuâs apartment.
The realization doesnât startle you as much as it should. In fact, you sigh, rolling onto your back and rubbing at your temple. It isnât the first time youâve found yourself here after a night out, though itâs usually because of some family event that went on too long rather than Mingyu being forced to drag your inebriated ass home.
Still, the headache and vague memories of last night are enough to sour your mood. You groan, sitting up and taking in your surroundings. Your shoes are neatly placed by the door. A bottle of water and a pack of painkillers sit on the nightstand, which youâre quick to grab.Â
And then, thereâs the smell. The one that pulled you out of sleep in the first place.
You shuffle out of bed and into the kitchen, where you find an actual, plated breakfast waiting for you on the counter. A plate of eggs, toast, andâ because you assume Mingyu is still an insufferable health nutâ a side of fruit. Stuck to the rim of the plate, a bright yellow Post-it with the worst handwriting known to mankind.
Stop drinking. -KMG
You find yourself staring at the plate longer than necessary. No matter how crude the note is, the fact remains: Mingyu cooked this. For you. Before his game.
Thereâs an uncomfortable flutter in your chest that you quickly stomp out.
Because sure, Mingyu cooked for you. Sure, he bought you medicine. But he also had the gall to leave you a rude Post-it note like the patronizing asshole that he is. You grab the note and crumple it in your fist before popping one of the painkillers in your mouth. You mutter âfuckinâ bitchâ to no one in particular, but it lacks real venom.
Your thoughts are interrupted by your phone ringing. You frown before spotting Mingyuâs charger plugged into the wall, your phone attached to it. You donât have time to unpack whatever that means, because your motherâs name flashes across the screen.
With a sigh, you answer. âHello?â
âWhere are you?â she asks, voice sharp with concern. âI tried calling last night, but your phone was off.â
âI wasâŚâ You hesitate, glancing at the breakfast on the counter. âWith Mingyu.â
Thereâs no need for your mother to know where you really were dancing, who youâd spent the night flirting with. Hell, all of that is pretty much a blur at this point. The only thing left in your alcohol-addled mind is Mingyu calling you Cinderella, Mingyuâs hands on your shoulders, and⌠Did he carry you to his car? Youâll have to wheedle that information out of him later.Â
Your motherâs reaction to your white lie is immediate. Her sigh of relief is so loud you have to pull the phone away from your ear. âOh. Thatâs good,â she breathes. âAt least I know you were in good hands.â The food in front of you suddenly looks much less appealing. Of course. Of course thatâs all it takes for her to drop her interrogation. You could have told her you spent the night at any of your friendsâ places, and she still would have had a million questions. But mention Mingyu, and suddenly sheâs appeased.
âYeah,â you say flatly. âGreat hands.â
You donât like it. You donât like feeling indebted to him. You donât like that he has that effectâ not just on your mother, but on you, too.
As much as you want to brush it off, you canât help but glance at the plate again, at the neatly arranged breakfast that he didnât have to make, at the medicine he didnât have to buy.
And that flutter? That stupid, tiny, treacherous flutter in your chest?
You shove it deep down where it belongs.
Meanwhile, Mingyu fights his own battles. On the field, heâs a wall. A force of nature.
His muscles burn. His mind is sharp. Every time the ball nears his goal, heâs already two steps ahead. The opposing team is relentless, throwing every tactic they can at him, but it doesnât matter. Not today.
Today, Mingyu is untouchable.
The scouts on the sidelines are nodding, murmuring to each other with increasing interest. His teammates are exhilarated, feeding off his energy. Seungcheol is the first to voice it, panting as he jogs past the goal. âYouâre playing like a fucking monster.â
Mingyu doesnât answer, just adjusts his gloves and keeps his gaze locked on the field. Wonwoo watches him a beat longer, brow furrowed. âYouâre not usually this aggressive.â
Mingyu exhales sharply. âGotta keep the scouts entertained, donât I?â
Itâs a good enough excuse. No one questions him after that.
But the truth is, he knows exactly why heâs playing like this.
Because across the field is himâ the guy from last night. The guy who got to kiss you, to touch you while Mingyu watched.
And the jerk looks perfectly fine. Well-rested, even. Ready to play.
Mingyuâs jaw tightens.Â
When the next shot comes, he doesnât just block it. He slaps it out of the air with enough force to send it soaring toward midfield. The sound of his palm meeting the ball echoes across the stadium. The forward who took the shot looks stunned; the murmurs from the scouts grow louder.
Seungcheol lets out a low whistle. âI donât know whatâs gotten into you, but I like it.â
Mingyu exhales, flexing his fingers inside his gloves. His heartbeat pounds in his ears, but heâs locked in, focused. He doesnât care how many more shots they take. None of them are getting past him today.
Youâre not even here, but you might as well be by the way Mingyu thinks of you the entire damn time.
And if, after the final whistle blows and his team secures the win, he happens to walk past him with just a little too much shoulder in his stride? Well.
Thatâs just the cherry on top.
He feels proud. Vindicated. He revels in it for a full minute beforeâ much like youâ shoving the feeling as far away from him as possible.Â
Now itâs even. Now, he doesnât owe you a thing.Â
⸠S01E06: THE ONE WITH THE PERFUME.Â
Mingyu isnât sure how he ended up in the fragrance section.Â
The trip to the mall had a purposeâ find a birthday gift for their student manager, someone patient enough to handle their chaos. Seungcheol was atrociously down bad for the girl, and was still trying to prove himself worthy of her time.Â
Seungcheol, Wonwoo, and Vernon debate between a sleek planner and a wireless charger.
âThe planner will help her deal with us,â Wonwoo pushes, âweâre always bombarding her with our schedules, anyway.âÂ
Vernon butts in. âGetting her a gift that benefits us is a shitty thing to do.âÂ
The man of the hourâ Seungcheol, who is balancing the two gifts in his handsâ gives the worldâs shittiest suggestion. âLetâs just get both!â
As the three try to argue the merits of the gifts, Mingyu wanders off. For some reason, he finds himself drawn by the gleam of glass bottles and the faint hum of different scents in the air.
He has no business being here. Cologne isnât something he puts much thought into; he has his one bottle, the same one heâs used for years, and it does the job.Â
Still, his fingers ghost over the display, picking up a tester bottle without much thought. The label is understated. Minimalist design, black serif lettering against a frosted background. Expensive-looking. He presses down on the nozzle, sending a fine mist into the air.
The scent unfurls slowly. First, thereâs a burst of something citrusyâ bright, crisp, and fleeting. Then it settles into softer notes, something warm and clean, like white musk and fresh linen.Â
But underneath, lingering just at the edge, is something else. Something vaguely floral, but not overpowering. A hint of jasmine, maybe, softened by vanilla.
His grip tightens around the tester. Heâs suffered through this scent before.
It clings to his couch cushions, stubborn even after airing out his apartment. It lingers in his car, filling the spaces between his words when you're in the passenger seat. Itâs in his hoodie the morning after you crash at his place, making his head turn before he remembers youâre already gone.
Mingyu frowns, inhaling again, as if the scent will offer up an explanation for why it pulls at something deep in his memory.Â
Could it be your own perfume? Could your shampoo have the same notes?Â
He debates it for a second. Buying the bottle, testing if it really does smell the same. If it would fade the same way, settle the same way. If it would remind him of you just as much.
And thenâ what the hell is he doing?Â
Mingyu sets down the tester bottle, clicking the cap back on. He tries to chalk it up to curiosity. That has to be it. Heâs a man of logic, someone who likes to confirm hypotheses like whether this inconspicuous bottle of perfume is the same as his arch rivalâs.Â
Thatâs all there is to it, he thinks, as he stalks back over to his teammates. A verdict has been reached: Seungcheol will get her the planner. The charger will be halved three-way by Mingyu, Vernon, and Wonwoo.Â
âWhereâd you go?â Wonwoo inquires.Â
âNowhere,â Mingyu answers, even though his mind is still on the stupid smell.Â
He wipes at his wrist like that might help him get rid of the thought of you.Â
(In the other side of the mallâ)Â
⸠S01E07: THE ONE WITH THE SHOPPING TRIP.Â
You love shopping.Â
Not just for the thrill of it or the satisfaction of walking out of a store with a new find, but because itâs part of your studies. As a business major with a minor in fashion design, you donât just see clothes. You see craftsmanship, marketability, trends, and the little details that separate the exceptional from the ordinary.
Which is why you donât take it lightly when a saleslady looks down on you.
It starts with the way she barely glances at you when you step into the boutique, her gaze flickering from your casual outfit to the more expensively dressed customers lingering by the racks. She doesnât offer a greeting, doesnât ask if you need help, just wrongly assumes that youâre not worth her time.
You brush it off at first. Itâs not the first time someone has made a snap judgment about you, and it wonât be the last. But then, as you pull a dress from the rack, inspecting the stitching along the seams, you hear her scoff.
âThat oneâs a little out of budget, donât you think?â she says, her voice coated in artificial sweetness.
You arch a brow, turning the dress over in your hands. Itâs a designer piece, sure, but itâs not about the price. Itâs about the construction, and this one? Overpriced for what it offers. You could name at least three brands that do a better job at a fraction of the cost.
Instead of rising to the bait, you hum thoughtfully. âThe stitching here is uneven,â you muse, holding the fabric up to the light. âAnd the lining? They cut costs with synthetic blends when they should have used silk. The structure wonât hold up after a few wears.â
The saleslady falters, clearly unprepared for an actual critique. You donât stop there.
âFor the price, Iâd expect better craftsmanship. If youâre going to charge this much, at least make sure the dress can justify it.â
A beat of silence. Then, another voice chimes inâ a stranger, another customer, who suddenly looks interested in what you have to say. âThatâs actually a good point,â she murmurs, inspecting her own dress more closely.
The salesladyâs expression tightens, and she suddenly looks less inclined to speak. You hide a smirk, setting the dress back on the rack.
You love shopping. But more than that, you love knowing exactly what youâre talking about.
The next store is quieter, more minimalist, with racks of clothing spaced out deliberately to give each piece a sense of importance. You skim through them idly until something catches your eye.
A shirt. Simple, well-tailored, the kind of thing that would sit well on broad shoulders.Â
Mingyuâs shoulders.
You wrinkle your nose at the thought. The idea of picking something out for him makes your stomach turn, and yet⌠you keep looking at it. Itâs a nice color, something that would complement his skin tone. The fit would be flattering. Itâs practical, stylish, something he could wear effortlessly.
You chalk it up to habit. Itâs the same as when you find a cute piece that would suit a mannequin perfectly. Just another exercise in styling. Nothing more.
Besides, if you bought it, it wouldnât be for him. It would be for the sake of aesthetics. Like dressing up a doll. Orâ better yetâ like charity.
Yes. Thatâs all it is. You like knowing what youâre talking about, and this is just a manifestation of it.Â
You grab the shirt, holding it up for a final once-over before tossing it into your basket. If anything, you can pass it off as a Christmas gift. Thatâs reasonable. Normal, even. No big deal.
But then you see a sweater that would pair well with it. And a jacket thatâs undeniably his style. And before you know it, your basket is full.
Itâs only when youâre standing in line to pay that it truly hits you.
What the hell are you doing?
Your grip tightens around the handle of the basket, heart hammering in your chest. You stare at the pile of clothesâ clothes for Mingyuâ and feel a wave of unease creep up your spine. This is not normal. This is not something you do.
You were supposed to get one thing. One. Now youâre standing here like some deranged personal shopper, about to spend money on a man you claim to tolerate at best.
No. Absolutely not.
You step out of the line, return to the racks, and unceremoniously dump the basketâs contents back where they belong. One by one, you rid yourself of every last piece until thereâs nothing left.
Your heart is still racing by the time you exit the store. You need a spa day. Desperately.
⸠S01E08: THE ONE WITH THE GAME.Â
âYouâve got to be fucking kidding me.â
Mingyu stares from across the field, frozen in place as his teammates jog past him. The pregame warmups blur into the background because there you are, sitting in the stands. Willingly.
It shouldnât be a big deal, shouldnât mean anything, but it does. Because in all the years heâs known you, youâve never voluntarily attended one of his games. Not without some level of coercion. Not without at least thirty minutes of complaining.
And yet, here you are.
Unfortunately, you also stick out like a sore thumb.
He sees you draped in obnoxiously bright colors, layered in mismatched school merch like someone who got dressed in the darkâ or someone trying too hard to look like they belong. The cap, the oversized hoodie, the scarf, all of it is excessive.
The worst part? It works.
Because even from across the field, even as his teammates stretch and the crowd chatters, Mingyu sees you. And now he canât unsee you.
He ignores the cheerleaders calling his name. Ignores the people waving at him, the fans holding up banners with his number. Ignores the way his coach is probably going to yell at him later for getting distracted before the game.
Instead, he heads straight for you.
âWhat the hell are you doing here?â he demands, stopping just short of the stands.
You lower your phone, where youâd clearly been snapping photos, and peer down at him like heâs the one acting weird. âYour mom asked me to take photos of you,â you reply, voice maddeningly nonchalant. âDonât lose.â
Mingyu scoffs. âDonât tell me what to do.â Then, a beat later, he petulantly adds, âAlso, I never lose.â
You roll your eyes, already angling your phone for another shot, but Mingyu doesnât move just yet. The fact remains; youâre here, looking infuriatingly good, and heâs going to spend the next 90 minutes fighting for his life. He canât decide if thatâs a good or bad thing.Â
Either way, he knows one thing for sure: He really, really canât afford to lose.
But he does.
Itâs a hard-fought game, and Mingyu plays like a man possessed. He dives for impossible saves, yells orders at his defenders, and shuts down shot after shot. The crowd roars every time he denies the other team, and for most of the match, it looks like his team might just scrape by with a win.
Then, in the final minutes, everything falls apart.
A miscalculated pass. A stolen ball. A breakaway that happens too fast.
Mingyu sees it unfold in real-time, feels the moment slip through his fingers before it even happens. He charges forward, determined to cut off the angle, to make himself big, to stop the shot. But the ball soars past him, hitting the back of the net with a deafening thud.
The stadium erupts. The other team celebrates. And Mingyu, chest heaving, fists clenched, can only stare as the scoreboard confirms it.
A one-point lead. Game over.
He barely hears the whistle. Barely registers his teammates patting his back, muttering things like You did great and Weâll get them next time. None of it matters. Because he lost. Because he let that shot in.Â
Because somewhere in the stands, you saw him fail.
He drags his gloves off, jaw tight, shoulders tense. He doesnât want to look up. Doesnât want to see if youâre still watching.Â
Against his better judgment, his gaze lifts toward the stands anyway.
There you are, camera in hand, expression unreadable. Of all his losses that day, that was the one that inexplicably ticked him off the most. The fact that you werenât smiling, werenât frowning. You were just⌠watching. Heâs never been able to read your mind, but he despises that inability the most today.Â
Mingyu exhales sharply, looks away, and storms off the field.
He doesnât expect you to wait for him outside the locker room. Youâre there anyway when he steps out, your arms crossed and your lips pursed. He doesnât slow down, doesnât acknowledge you beyond the look he shoots your way; you have to take large steps in your ridiculous heels just to keep up with his pace. He feels like a hurricaneâ one thatâs about to sweep through your stoicism, about to leave significant collateral damage.Â
âCome on, then,â he mutters, shoving his duffel strap higher onto his shoulder. âTell me just how shitty I am.â
âExcuse me?â
He lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head. âYou must be dying to rub it in my face. Go ahead. Get it over with.â
You frown. âWhat the hell is your problem?â
That sets him off.
âMy problem?â he snaps, finally stopping in his tracks to glare at you properly. You follow suit, and it amuses him for a fraction of a secondâ just how easily he towers over you. âI just lost a game, in case you missed that part while taking your stupid pictures.â
You scoff, fully displeased now. âAre you serious? You think I came here just to laugh at you?âÂ
âWouldnât be the first time.â His voice is sharp, low. âYouâve never had a problem making fun of me before.â
Your jaw clenches.Â
âNo need to make me your punching bag, Kim.â In turnâ your tone is piercing, almost hurt. âI came here to comfort you. Iâm not the fucking devil you make me out to be.â
The words hit harder than they should.
The weight of the loss still clings to him, frustration simmering beneath his skin. His hands are still balled into fists, his shoulders locked up so tight they ache. But the way you say it, the unexpected offense in your voice, makes something in him falter.
He rubs a hand over his face. The hurricane in him quiets, runs out of rain. âYeah.â His voice is quieter now. âSorry.â
You roll your eyes. Really, you have every right to give him more shit; he knows he deserves it. âI should just leave you here to wallow.â You make a grand show of turning awayâ really, you have every right to give him more shit; he knows he deserves it.Â
But then you glance at him over your shoulder. âSince Iâm feeling benevolent, Iâll treat you to a meal.â
Mingyu stares at you like youâve lost your mind. âYou?â He gestures vaguely between the two of you. âTreating me? Are you dying?â
âMaybe,â you deadpan. âFrom secondhand embarrassment.â
He lets out a sharp exhale, something between a huff and a chuckle. âWow. Real comforting.â
You shrug. âI never said I was good at comfort,â you snipe, and he knows that much is true.
Somehow, thatâs how he finds himself behind the wheel of his car, hands gripping the steering wheel. Heâs still mildly dazed as he glances over at you in his passenger seat. He doesnât remember actually agreeing to this. He doesnât remember deciding to take you to his favorite restaurant. And yet here you are, scrolling through your phone like this is the most normal thing in the world.
For the first five minutes, the drive is quiet. Mingyu fiddles with the AC, rolls his shoulders, frowns at the road ahead. But the longer you sit there, humming under your breath, mindlessly playing with the hem of your sleeve, the more it starts to sink in.
This is the first time the two of you have willingly shared a meal together.
Not because of mutual friends. Not because of a group project or an event neither of you could get out of. Not because your parents forced you into it.
Just⌠because.
Itâs the strangest possible way for Mingyu to have possibly ended the night.Â
He spares you another glance as he pulls into the parking lot. âYou better not complain about the food,â he warns, âor Iâm leaving you here.â
Of course, that gives you the leeway to complain, bitching about things like sanitation and standards for cuisine. He tunes it out like he often does, instead trying to figure out how the hell he ended up here.Â
Here, sitting across from you in a restaurant that he usually only visits with his teammates. It felt like a fever dream to approach the host stand and ask for a table for two; his voice had come out a little too uncertain, like he couldnât quite believe the words himself.
The host had seated you without question, handing you both menus before disappearing, leaving Mingyu to sit there and take in the absurdity of the situation. You, sitting across from him, elbows on the table, flipping through the menu like this is any other meal with any other person.
His mind flickers, unbidden, to a thought: Are you like this on all dates?
Then, he scowls. No. This is not a date.
âAlright, what am I getting?â you ask, still scanning the menu. âYouâre the one who dragged me here, might as well give me a solid recommendation.â
Mingyu raises a brow. âI dragged you here? You were the one who insisted on treating me.â
âTomato, tomahto.â You shoot him a sharp glare, as if his insolence was something that caused offense. âJust tell me whatâs good.â
He studies you for a second like heâs waiting for the punchline. When you just blink back expectantly, he sighs, resigning himself to whatever surreal alternate reality this is. âGet the beef stew,â he finally says. âAnd the garlic rice. Youâll thank me later.â
To his surprise, you actually listen. He half-expected you to ignore him just to be difficult.
The conversation that follows is easy in a way that confuses him. You bicker, naturally, but itâs mostly over trivial thingsâ your tragic lack of appreciation for his taste in sports documentaries, the way he insists that pineapple on pizza is a crime against humanity. Nothing about the game, nothing about his loss, nothing about the way frustration still lingers in the tightness of his jaw.
Instead, you seem content commenting on the restaurant itself, mentioning how you like the warm lighting, how the playlist is surprisingly good. And then thereâs the way you eat. Without rush, without any of the absentmindedness he sometimes sees when youâre multitasking with your phone. You actually appreciate the food, nodding approvingly after each bite like youâre mentally scoring it.
Somewhere between your satisfied hums and the way you swipe an extra spoonful of his rice when you think heâs not looking, Mingyu realizes something strange: Youâre actually enjoying this.
And, maybe, so is he.
Itâs disorienting, how quickly the irritation from earlier has faded.
He tries to remind himself of the reasons youâre infuriating. That youâre picky about things that donât matter, that you have a bad habit of being late, that you roll your eyes too much, thatâ
But every thought is immediately met with another. That you actually care about things enough to be picky. That you only run late when youâve lost track of time doing something you love. That you roll your eyes, sure, but you also laugh, also banter, also make things more interesting.
Mingyu stares at you for a moment, something warm settling into his chest.
By the end of the dinner, heâs forgotten why he was so upset in the first place.
⸠S01E09: THE ONE WITH THE HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.Â
The party is already in full swing by the time you and Mingyu arrive.Â
Itâs the usual reunion sceneâ too many people packed into a house slightly too small for the occasion, music loud enough to drown out the conversations but not enough to stop them altogether, and a lingering smell of something fried mixed with overpriced cologne.
Youâre still annoyed. Annoyed because Mingyu had, with all the grace of a wrecking ball, insulted your outfit on the drive here. Something about how your skirt was too short and your heels were impractical for a house party. As if he was some kind of fashion authority.
âThanks for the unsolicited advice, asswipe,â you had snapped back, crossing your arms and staring out the window. He only scoffed in response, muttering something about not wanting to be responsible if you tripped and broke your ankle.
Now, hours later, youâre still disgruntled about it. You refuse to think about how, deep down, it had been less about disapproval and more about the way his gaze had lingered.Â
That would be a problem for another time. Maybe never.
You make your way to the kitchen, eyeing the assortment of drinks lined up on the counter. A bottle of something expensive-looking catches your attention. You grab it, twisting the cap with determination, but it refuses to budge. You try again, gripping it tighter, but all you manage is an embarrassing squeak of effort.
âSeriously?â you mutter under your breath, frustration bubbling up.
Before you can attempt another futile try, a large hand appears in your periphery. The bottle is plucked effortlessly from your grip. In one swift motion, Mingyu twists the cap open like it was nothing. No struggle, no hesitation, no unnecessary flexing. Just pure efficiency.
He doesnât even smirk. Doesnât gloat or tease you like you expect him to. He just hands the bottle back to you before turning away as if it had never happened.
You blink. Then blink again.
The room suddenly feels a little warmer. Must be the alcohol in the air. Or the heater. Orâ
Oh, God.
With absolute horror, you realize Mingyu was kind of hot for that.
You take a generous swig from the bottle, hoping it burns away whatever ridiculous thought just took root in your brain. Unfortunately, the warmth spreading through you has absolutely nothing to do with the alcohol.
You take another sip, then another, letting the burn of the drink ground you. Itâs fine. Itâs whatever. Youâll drink and have fun and not think about the way Mingyuâs hand had so easily dwarfed yours when he took the bottle from you.
You wander back toward the living room, where clusters of people are chatting, laughing, reliving the glory days. Just as you settle into the buzz of the atmosphere, you catch Mingyuâs name being thrown around in a conversation nearby. You donât mean to eavesdropâ okay, maybe you do a littleâ but something about the way his voice carries through the room makes you pause.
âNot drinking tonight?â You hear someone ask him.
âNah,â Mingyu replies, nonchalant. âIâm her designated driver.â
Your stomach does a weird little flip.
Well, then.
If thatâs the case, if Mingyuâs already consigned himself to the role of responsibility, then thereâs absolutely no reason for you to hold back.
You tilt your head back, take another sip. Then another.
A warmth spreads through your limbs, but whether itâs from the alcohol or the fact that you now have free rein to drink without consequence, youâre not sure. You tell yourself itâs definitely the alcohol, though. Because the alternativeâ the thought that it has anything to do with Mingyuâ just isnât an option. Not tonight.
The alcohol has settled comfortably in your veins by the time the dancing starts. The living room has been cleared to make space, furniture pushed against the walls. Now the music pulses louder, the bass vibrating through the floor.Â
Youâre laughing with old friends, moving with the rhythm, when you feel a sharp tug at the hem of your skirt.
You whirl around, already prepared to snap at whoever dared, only to come face-to-face with Mingyu. Heâs standing there, a frown on his face. He leans in slightly, voice low but clear over the music. âI told you it was too short.â
You blink at him, thrown off by the way his fingers had just been on you, tugging fabric downward like it was some sort of personal mission. Something fizzes beneath your skin, something that has nothing to do with the alcohol and everything to do with the fact that Mingyuâ annoying, overbearing Kim Mingyuâ is looking at you like that.
Itâd been such a boyfriend move. You force yourself not to dwell on it.Â
You donât know what compels you, but maybe youâre just tipsy enough. Maybe you want to make him suffer.Â
You suddenly reach out, looping your arms around Mingyuâs neck. His whole body goes stiff, his eyes widening in immediate suspicion.
âDance with me,â you say, tilting your head, voice syrupy with tipsiness and mischief.
Mingyu shakes his head, already taking a step back. âAbsolutely not.â
You grin and pull him right back in. âYou sure? âCause I know things, Kim. Lots of things.â
âAre you blackmailing me?â he squeaks.Â
You sway closer, pretending to consider it. âItâs more of a⌠strategic incentive.â
A battle wars in his eyes. But then, with a low âtchâ and a mutter of âYouâre insufferable,â Mingyu lets your grip pull him in.Â
The moment is bizarre.Â
His hands find their placeâ one cautiously at your waist, the other hovering near your shoulder like heâs afraid to touch too much. You move to the beat, feeling the heat of him through his shirt, the solid press of his frame against yours.Â
Itâs ridiculous. Itâs stupid.
Itâs also the best decision youâve made all night.
The song shifts into something heavier, the bass thrumming through your chest, the kind of music meant for bad decisions and blurred memories. Mingyu hasnât bolted yet, which is a miracle in itself. Heâs actually keeping up with you, moving in sync, matching your rhythm with ease. Itâs unexpected, the way he doesnât seem like he hates this, like heâs maybeâ God forbidâ having fun.
You scoff at the thought, but the amusement lingers. The insults come easy, natural, tossed between the two of you like a ball neither wants to drop.
âYou dance like an old man,â you tease, voice warm with liquor.
âAnd you dance like youâre trying to summon a demon,â he shoots back.
You laugh, tilting your head up to meet his eyes. Maybe itâs the dim lighting or maybe itâs the alcohol, but Mingyuâs gaze doesnât seem as sharp as it usually does. His grip on your waist is firm but not forceful, like heâs not entirely opposed to being here, to this, to you.
Itâs too easy to forget that this is Mingyu, that this is the same guy who has made a sport out of getting under your skin. Because right now, heâs just a tall, ridiculously handsome man who happens to be an unfairly good dancer.
The thought sneaks up on you before you can fight it. If he wasnât Mingyu...
The words slip out before you register them. âI wonder what Iâd do if you werenât you.â
Mingyuâs eyebrows raise. âWhat?â His voice is a little rough around the edges, and far too sober.
Shit.Â
You blink rapidly, force a laugh, and shake your head as if you can brush it off. âNothing. Ignore me.â
But the thing isâ you canât ignore it.Â
Because somewhere, in the back of your mind, youâre already picturing it. A world where Mingyu isnât Mingyu, where heâs just some stranger with sharp eyes and broad shoulders who smells good and dances well, who looks at you like heâs actually seeing you.
A world where you wouldnât have to fight every instinct telling you to lean in.
Eventually, your feet start to protest. Youâre wearing heels that were never meant for this much standing, much less dancing. You havenât even said anything about it, but your expression must be reflecting your discomfort and your frustration. Mingyu sighs like youâve personally ruined his night before crouching down and unlacing his sneakers.
âWhat are you doing?â you ask laughingly as he kicks them off, right there on the fringes of the dance floor.Â
âGiving you my shoes,â he says, like itâs obvious, shoving them toward you. âIâm not carrying you to the car.â
You snort. âYouâd probably drop me anyway.â
âExactly.â He watches as you swap out your heels for his much-too-big sneakers, which make you feel ridiculous but are, admittedly, a godsend.
You donât realize until youâre halfway to the car that Mingyu is walking in only his socks, completely unbothered. You slide into the passenger seat, tipsy and warm and just self-aware enough to realize something terrible is happening.
You are warming up to Mingyu.
It hits you like a truck.
Mingyu, your mortal enemy. Mingyu, who has annoyed you since childhood. Mingyu, who insults your outfits and steals your food and opens your drinks without a second thought.
Your head lolls against the seat as you stare at him in horror, combing through the memories, trying to pinpoint exactly when this started going wrong.
By the time he pulls up in front of your house, youâve made a decision.
You need to stop being too nice to him.
⸠S01E10: THE ONE WITH THE TEAM LUNCH.Â
Mingyu is halfway through his second helping of rice when he hears itâ the unmistakable sound of his personal hell approaching.Â
He doesnât even have to look up to know itâs you. The dramatic click of your heels, the way the conversation at the cafeteria table shifts just slightly, the exasperated sigh that escapes Wonwoo before you even arrive.
And then, as expectedâ
âKim.â
Mingyu exhales sharply through his nose. He doesnât know what you want, but if the past few weeks have been anything to go by, itâs nothing good. Ever since the high school reunion, youâve been nothing short of a menace.
He still doesnât know what changed that night, but suddenly, youâve taken it upon yourself to be the most irksome person in his life. There was the time you texted him an obnoxious amount of links to ugly sneakers after heâd lent you his at the party. The time you âaccidentallyâ swapped his shampoo for some floral-scented one that lingered in his hair for days. The time you sent him a video of him losing his last match, edited with clown music in the background.
He finally looks up from his food, expression already set in a scowl. Youâre standing at the edge of their table, arms crossed, a shit-eating grin plastered on your face. Seungcheol, Vernon, and Wonwoo all look between the two of you like theyâre watching a horror movie unfold in real-time.
âWhat do you want?â Mingyu asks, voice flat.
You feign offense, placing a hand over your chest. âCanât I just stop by to say hello?â
âNo.â
Vernon snorts, covering his mouth with his hand. Seungcheol nudges him under the table, but heâs grinning, too.
âYou wound me, Kim.â You pull out the chair beside him and sit down like you belong there. âBut fine, I do need something.â
Mingyu rolls his eyes, shoving another bite of food into his mouth before jerking his chin at you. âThen spit it out already.â
âI need a favor.â
Mingyu groans. âNo. Absolutely not.â
âYou donât even know what it is yet!â
âI donât need to know what it is.â He glares at you. âItâs a no.â
Wonwoo sighs, setting his chopsticks down. âJust let her talk, Mingyu. Weâd like to finish our meal in peace.â
Mingyu gestures wildly. âI would like to finish my meal in peace!â
You pat his shoulder condescendingly. âThis is more important than your third bowl of rice.â
He swats your hand away. âItâs my second bowlââ
âNot the point,â you cut in. âListen, I just needââ
Mingyu groans again, slumping back in his chair, already regretting every choice that led to this moment. He knows, deep in his soul, that whatever youâre about to ask is going to be something ridiculous.
And yet, for some godforsaken reason, he doesnât immediately tell you to leave.
âI need help moving some furniture.â
Mingyu blinks. âThatâs it?â
âYes, thatâs it,â you deadpan. âAre you going to help or not?â
He stares at you. Itâs one of those things thatâd be a given for anybody else. Mingyu was the type of friend who would drive someone to the airport, would help someone move, would cook if someone was sick. Those were things heâd do for someone he was friends withâ something the two of you were decisively not.
âAnd why, exactly, would I do that?â he challenges.Â
âBecause you owe me?â
He lets out a laugh. âI owe you?â
âYes, forââ you flounder for a reason, ââfor existing, Kim Mingyu. Do you know how exhausting that is?â
Unconvincing to a fault. Mingyu is half-tempted to call you out for being a spoiled brat, but heâs not interested in escalating this argument in front of his team.Â
âNot my problem,â he settles on saying.Â
âYouâre the fucking worst.â
âAnd yet, here you are.â
The two of you go back and forth like that, the jabs mostly inoffensive and subjective. Mingyu is vaguely aware of Seungcheol pinching his nose like heâs nursing a headache, Vernon sipping his drink as if watching a spectacle, and Wonwoo calmly chewing his food, unfazed.
Finally, Seungcheol decides heâs had enough.Â
âBoth of you,â he interjects, voice firm. âCan you stop fighting for five minutes?â
To Mingyuâs shock, you actually fall silent. You roll your eyes but begrudgingly listen, arms still tightly crossed.Â
Mingyu scoffs. âOh, so you can listen to people,â he mutters. âDidnât know you were capable of being nice.â
Your head snaps toward him. âI am capable of being nice. Just not to you.â
âRight, because youâre a little devil sent from hell just to ruin my life.â
âYour life was already in shambles before I showed up. Donât blame me.â
The bickering immediately picks back up, much to the dismay of Mingyuâs teammates. Vernon exhales dramatically. âMamma mia,â he sing-songs jokingly to Wonwoo, âhere we go again.âÂ
You suddenly reach out, snatch a piece of Mingyuâs pork right off his plate, and pop it into your mouth as you ready to leave. His jaw drops; heâs stolen your food a fair amount, but youâve never done it to him. âHeyââ
Youâre already turning on your heel and walking away, not sparing him another glance. âThanks for absolutely nothing,â you chirp.
Mingyu watches, speechless at the petulant display.
âDid sheââ he starts, then stops. His grip tightens around his chopsticks. None of his teammates push, all too wary of the dark look that passes over his expression. Seungcheol promptly tries to change the topic.Â
Mingyu finishes his meal in a foul mood, stabbing at his food with unnecessary force.
He doesnât understand why youâve gotten so absurd with him lately. Every interaction with you feels like a new test of patience, like one day you just woke up and decided to amp up all the ways you could make him miserable. He had almost started to believe, for one fleeting second, that maybe, maybe you werenât that bad.
But no. The night at the reunion was just a flukeâ when youâd danced together and heâd privately thought it was something he could get used to.
You were always meant to be his worst nightmare, and he resolves that heâs not waking up any time soon.Â
⸠S01E11: THE ONE WITH THE REASON.Â
The joint family meal is as lively as ever, voices overlapping in conversation, laughter ringing between bites of food. You, as always, have taken it upon yourself to make Mingyuâs life difficult today.
âWow, even you managed to show up on time for once,â you remark as he slides into the seat across from you. âDid hell freeze over?â
Mingyu shoots you a deadpan look, clearly not in the mood for your antics. âNot today, Satan.â
You grin, but thereâs something off about him. He doesnât come back with anything more biting, doesnât engage in the usual back-and-forth. His shoulders are tense, and thereâs a blankness to his gaze that makes you wonder.
Your mother places a generous serving of food onto your plate, and you idly push some rice around with your chopsticks, gaze flickering toward him again. âWhat, got scolded for being too slow on the field?â
Mingyu finally looks at you properly. His frustration is clear. âCan you not today?â His voice is quieter than you expect, worn at the edges. âI had a shitty day at training, and I really donât have the energy for you right now.â
The words catch you off guard. You could leave it at that, let him have his peace for once. A part of youâ one you stubbornly refuse to acknowledgeâ almost wants to ask why, wants to pry into whatâs bothering him and offer something resembling comfort.
Instead, you shove that impulse down. Whatever this is, whatever softening that night at the reunion did to you, needs to be stomped out immediately.Â
So you double down.
You spear a piece of your meat a little too forcefully. âRight, because Iâm the problem here. You always find a way to suck at things all on your own.â
Mingyuâs expression shutters. For the first time everâ in all of your interactions with himâ you feel something unpleasant coil in your stomach. He shakes his head and then goes back to eating without another word.
Thereâs a small, screeching voice in the back of your head that wants to demand an explanation. Not for Mingyuâs dismal mood, no, but for that flicker of disappointment thatâd passed his face when he shook his head.Â
Why would he be disappointed over your cruelty? Why would he expect anything else from you?Â
The rest of the meal passes without his usual jabs in return, and you tell yourself thatâs a victory. It feels like anything but.
As dessert is doled out, your mother calls out to the pair of you. âYou two, go somewhere else for a while. The adults need to discuss business.â
You open your mouth to protest. Youâre both adults already; surely you and Mingyu could sit in, rather than be forced into yet another awkward situation neither of you can run from.
But Mingyu is already pushing his chair back with a grumbled âfine.â The look your mother shoots you indicates that this is not about to be up for debate. You follow Mingyu out, both of you stepping into the cool evening air.Â
The restaurantâs outdoor area has an old playgroundâ rusting swing sets, a chipped slide, and monkey bars that have seen better days. You walk ahead and hop onto a swing, the chains creaking slightly as you push off the ground.
Mingyu stands nearby, watching you for a moment. âDidnât take you for the type to get sentimental,â he snorts, and that slight edge in his tone gives you just a bit of hope that he doesnât completely despise you.Â
âIâm not. I just need somewhere to sit thatâs far away from you,â you say matter-of-factly.Â
He huffs but doesnât argue. Instead, he heads towards the monkey bars. He grips one, testing his weight against the metal. âRemember when you got stuck on these in second grade?â he asks as he free-hangs.Â
âI wasnât stuck,â you sniffle in protest. âI was strategizing.â
Mingyu lets out a bark of laughter. âStrategizing how to fall on your ass?â
You drag the tip of your shoe against the dirt, narrowing your eyes. âIf I recall correctly, you werenât any help. You just laughed at me until my dad had to come pull me down.â
âHey, in my defense, it was funny.â He swings himself onto the lowest bar, legs dangling. âYou had snot running down your face and everything.â
You lunge half-heartedly to kick at his shin, but he pulls his leg away just in time. Thereâs a beat of silence, the air filled with the distant chatter of your families inside. Itâs strange, this reminiscing. The usual bite to your exchanges is still there, but itâs smooth around the edges, tinged with something dangerously close to fondness.
Mingyu exhales, gaze fixed on some nondescript point in the distance. You think heâs gearing up for his next jab about something. Probably your embarrassing high school days, or that one summer vacation you hate talking about. InsteadâÂ
âWhy arenât we friends?â he asks. His voice is quiet, thoughtful.Â
You blink. The question is so absurd it momentarily stuns you. âWhat?â
âI mean,â he shifts, âweâve known each other our whole lives. Shouldnât weâ I donât knowâ be close?â
If you didnât know any better, youâd think he was teasing. But the question doesnât sound rhetorical, and he seems almost wistful.Â
You hate it.Â
You hate him.Â
Your chest tightens, unbidden memories surfacing. There were plenty of reasons. The bickering, the competition. But at the core of it, there was one moment. One day that cemented everything in place, whether Mingyu realized it or not.
You were seven. It was summer, the sun blazing high as the neighborhood kids gathered for a game of soccer. Everyone had been split into teams, and you had waited, jittery with anticipation, as Mingyuâ the fastest, the strongest, the boy everyone wanted to followâ started picking players.Â
One by one, he called out names, grinning as kids ran to his side. You had stood there, heart pounding, willing him to say your name next. You were family friends! Sure, you were a girl, but surely Mingyu could see how fast and strong you were, too.Â
In the end, Mingyu had picked everyone but you. When there was no one left, you had been shuffled onto the other team by default. You still remembered the sting of it. The two of you were already acquainted, and yet he hadnât even seen you as an option.Â
It was stupid. It was petty. And yet, that wound had never quite healed. Everything that came after was just a domino effect after that.Â
If you were a little meaner to Mingyu than you had to be, if you were much more curt and snappy with him than you were with anyone else? It all came back to that. That moment where Mingyu hadnât seen youâ worse.Â
He had pretended not to.Â
You swallow, dragging yourself back to the present. Mingyu is watching you expectantly, waiting for an answer.
âBecause you didnât pick me,â you say at last, the words slipping out before you can stop them. âThat one time.âÂ
Mingyuâs brows knit together. âWhat?â he asks, and it feels like a punch in the gut.Â
The look of confusion on Mingyuâs faceâ you donât know if itâs a curse or a blessing. He doesnât remember. Of course he doesnât. Why would he?Â
But you do. You remember, and you hold on to it for the lack of a better thing to hold on to.Â
Hating Mingyu is easy. Seeing him in any other light takes work, and youâre tired of trying to figure that out.Â
Mingyu opens his mouth. For a second, it looks like he might protest. His brows pull together, his lips part, and thereâs something foreign in his expressionâ something that makes your stomach twist uncomfortably. But before he can say anything, you hear your mother beckoning for you from the restaurant.Â
You stand up and brush nonexistent dust off your clothes. âWell, thatâs my cue,â you say airily, praying to any higher power at all that Mingyu wonât call out the way your voice shakes. Just a little bit.Â
Instead, he remains by the monkey bars, watching you with an impassive look on his face. You can feel the weight of his stare even as you turn away.Â
You hesitate for half a second before glancing back at him. âWeâre probably better off this way,â you say, because you always have to have the last word.Â
His grip tightens around the swingâs chains, knuckles going white. Thereâs a pause.Â
Then, finally, he nods. A jerky, forced thing.
âYeah,â he says, voice strangely even. âProbably.â
You donât acknowledge the way the word sits heavy between you, donât let yourself linger on the way it sounds more like reluctant acceptance than agreement. Instead, you pretend not to hear it at all, turning on your heel and walking back toward the restaurant.Â
Hating Mingyu is easy. Itâs all youâre good for. As you leave him standing alone, you hope it feels a little bit like that day in your childhoodâ when youâd been the name he hadnât called.Â
⸠S01E12: THE ONE WITH THE SMILE.Â
Mingyu doesnât get it.
Heâs been off his game for days.Â
Itâs not an injury. Itâs not exhaustion. Heâs been training the same way, eating the same meals, sleeping the same hours. And yet his shots donât land the same. His passes are sloppy. He misses easy blocks he could have made blindfolded.
It pisses him off.
The ball soars past him yet again, hitting the back of the net with a dull thud. Vernon cheers and Wonwoo does a victory lap. Mingyu just stands there, hands on his hips, jaw locked tight. His fingers twitch at his sides, itching to punch the goalpost out of sheer frustration.
Seungcheol, ever the captain, jogs over. âThatâs enough,â he barks, voice edged with authority.Â
Mingyu bites the inside of his cheek. He knows whatâs coming for him, and yet he still tries to protest. âOne more round.â
âNo. Youâre done.â Seungcheolâs tone leaves no room for argument. âGo home. Figure out whateverâs got you playing like shit and come back when your headâs on straight.â
Mingyu has to bite back the retort that heâs not playing like shit, that he does have his head on straight. The numbers donât lie. Thereâs no talking his way out of this one. With a sharp exhale, he yanks off his gloves and stalks off the field, muttering curses under his breath.
As he grabs his bag and heads toward the exit, he runs through every possible reason for his sudden slump.Â
Training? No. Diet? No. Stress? Maybe, but itâs never affected him like this before.
You?
Youâve been distant ever since that night at the playground. The constant quips, the snarky remarks, the way you always seemed to find a reason to pester himâ itâs all dialed down to nearly nothing.Â
It should be a relief. He should be thriving with all this newfound peace and quiet.
Instead, heâs a goddamn mess.Â
Mingyu kicks a stray rock on the pavement as he walks to his car. He doesnât get it. He doesnât get you. And worse, he doesnât get why it bothers him so damn much.
Itâs entirely by accident, how he ends up spotting you. Maybe itâs some form of twisted divine intervention, some cruel twist of fate.Â
Heâs at a red light, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, when he happens to glance to the side. And there you are, ripped right out of his scrambled brain, standing outside a cafĂŠ with a group of friends.
Youâre wearing one of those preppy outfits he always mocks you for, all pristine pleats and crisp collars. Itâs the kind of thing heâd usually say makes you look like you stepped straight out of some rich kid catalog. He tucks away the insult in his mind, filed for the next time you annoy him.
But thenâ
Youâre laughing. Your head tilts back; your eyes crinkle at the corners. The street lights catch on the soft highlights in your hair, the gentle slope of your nose, the flush on your cheeks from whatever ridiculous joke was just told.Â
You look light. At ease. So effortlessly happy.
Mingyu watches, unseen, his grip tightening on the steering wheel.
Heâs seen you smirk, seen you grin in that infuriating, self-satisfied way when you get under his skin. Heâs seen you scoff, roll your eyes, pout. But he doesnât think heâs ever seen you smile like that in front of him.
And whatâs worseâ
Why does he want it?
He presses on the gas pedal once the light turns green. By the time he pulls into his parking lot, his mind is still spinning. He kills the engine but doesnât move, just sits there, glaring at the wall in front of him.
Then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees it. A stray hair tie, wedged between the seats. One of yours.
He stares at it, his brain stalling. The last time you sat in his passenger seat⌠when was that? His mind scrambles, trying to pinpoint the moment, but he comes up empty. The fact that he doesnât know unsettles him more than it should.
Something else comes, too. A stupid, fleeting burst of happiness. An excuse to message you, to return it, to say something anything just to get you talking to him again.
The realization slams into him all at once.
His frustration. His inability to focus. The way your absence has been gnawing at him. The way your happiness without him made his chest ache.
Mingyu slumps forward in his seat, his forehead resting against his steering wheel.Â
Not even the screeching sound of his horn is able to drag him out of the horrific realization that heâs off his game because he likes you.
He likes you, the one person in the world he shouldnât. The one person in the world he canât have.Â
âFuuuck,â he grouses, banging his head on the steering wheel so that the beeps come in sporadic bursts. âFuck, fuck, fuck!â
Heâs fucked.Â
⸠S01E13: THE ONE WITH THE PLANNING.Â
You don't know when it startedâ this weird, drawn-out awkwardness with Mingyu.
Itâs not like youâve stopped arguing. You're still giving him shit for his stupid hair, his dumb socks, his loud chewing habits. But lately, heâs... off. Slower to snap back. Not quite meeting your eyes.Â
Worst of all? Heâs barely even tried to make fun of your outfit today.
Itâs part of the Mingyu playbook. Some wisecrack about your clothes, some comment about how you should be running hell in Satanâs place. If heâs feeling particularly inventive, he even deigns to bring your course into it.Â
Today, though, itâs all painfully polite. Curt answers and absentminded nods. You know youâve frozen him out since that night on the playground, but you didnât expect to get the same chill in return.Â
âSo what Iâm hearing is,â you say, tapping something into your phone, âyouâre fine with anywhere as long as thereâs pasta. Are you five?â
Mingyu squints at you like he's struggling to come up with a comeback. He opens his mouth. Closes it. Shrugs.
You narrow your eyes at him. âWow. Riveting. Have you always been this dull or did I finally break you?â
He laughs, but there's no real bite to it. âIâm just being agreeable,â he offers. Even the snark in that is half-hearted, hesitant. âYou should try it some time.â
âOh, don't get all mature on me now,â you scoff, scrolling through the list of local restaurants your parents emailed. âGod forbid you grow a personality overnight and forget how to argue.â
Mingyu mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like âstill better than yours.â He seems distracted, for the lack of a better term. The two of you have the unfortunate task of deciding on the next joint family mealâs venue, and heâs been uncharacteristically civil throughout it all.
Somehow, it unnerves you more than when heâs being an insufferable asshole.Â
âSeriously, are you okay?â you press, a touch of concern making its way into your tone. âYou're kinda giving... robot with a mild software glitch."
âYeah, âm fine,â he grumbles. âJust tired."
âTired or scared Iâll beat you in the battle of wits today?â
âNot scared. Letting you have the spotlight for once.â
âTouching. Very generous.â You know a lost battle when you see one, so you scroll down the list again before turning your phone so he can see it. âOkay, vote: Overpriced fusion place with truffle everything or rustic hipster cafĂŠ that serves lattes with art so complicated it should be in a museum?â
Mingyu squints. âThe second one has better lighting.â
â... Lighting?â
He raises his shoulders in a shrug. âFor your parentsâ photos. You know how your mom gets.â
Something twists in your stomach.Â
The fact that Mingyu is considering your motherâs happiness, that he knows how she is and heâs not complainingâ instead accommodating?Â
You feel almost grateful, almost admiring, but you shake it off with a dramatic sigh. âFine. Hipster cafĂŠ it is. Letâs go, then.â
âIâm literally only here because you begged me to come.â
âYeah, but I begged louder. So I win.â
There it isâ the ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Not quite a comeback. But closer.
It doesnât quite explain why his ears have turned pink, but thatâs a can of worms you decide youâre not ready to open up just yet. Instead, the two of you go to scope the venue, lest your parents call you out for not fulfilling your duty-bound obligation to this godforsaken tradition.Â
The cafĂŠ is aggressively quaint. All pastel walls and potted plants and menus printed in cursive. A waitress greets you at the door with a bright smile and a clipboard in hand.
âTable for two?â
âYeah,â Mingyu says.
She glances between the two of you, then beams. âPerfect! You're just in time for our coupleâs lunch special. It comes with two entrees, a shared appetizer, and dessert for only half the price.â
For a moment, you wish you could see yourself through the waitressâ eyes. You canât imagine a single thing that might give off the impression that you and Mingyu were a couple. Thereâs too much space between the two of you, and the look you two share is enough for you to gleam that heâs equally flabbergasted.Â
He turns to look back to the unassuming waitress. âOh, weâre notââ
The worldâs most brilliant idea strikes you then. You act on it before you can develop a semblance of shame.
âWe'll take it,â you cut in smoothly, linking your arm through Mingyuâs before he can ruin it. You smile sweetly at the waitress, completely ignoring the way Mingyu goes rigid beside you.
As youâre led to a corner table by the window, he leans down to frantically whisper, âWhat the hell was that?â
âA good deal,â you respond cheerfully. âUnless you want to pay full price just to protect your ego.â
He glares. âYouâre unbelievable.â
âYou knew that when you got in the car.â
The waitress sets down your menus and tells you sheâll be back shortly for your order. Mingyu slumps in his seat, looking very much like youâve told him he can never play soccer ever again.Â
âCheer up,â you say, nudging his shin under the table. âIf you play your cards right, I might even feed you.â
His eyes narrow. "You wouldnât dare."
Ah, but you would dare. The moment the pasta arrives, youâre already grinning. You twirl the noodles with your fork; he tries to communicate with his gaze that he wants you dead.Â
âSay ahhh, loverboy,â you sing-song.Â
âAbsolutely not.â
You kick him again. He hisses mid-sip of water. âJust pretend, Mingyu,â you say through the teeth of your smile. âGod, have you never faked a relationship for free food before?âÂ
âI have not, actually,â he retorts. âFuckinâ cheapskate.âÂ
Begrudgingly, he opens his mouth. He at least seems to know that youâre not about to let up. You shove the fork into his mouth; he retaliates by âfeedingâ you some chicken piccata, though itâs more of him forcing the bite into your mouth even after youâve protested the presence of peas.Â
The next half hour is full of increasingly absurd couple behavior. You fake gasp when he offers you water. He pretends to be offended when you steal his garlic bread. You stage-whisper pet names across the table just loud enough for the waitress to hear, coos of baby and sweetheart in between eye rolls and grimaces.Â
And through it all, there are momentsâ brief, fleetingâ when his eyes linger on yours just a second too long. When his smile is a little too soft. When his hand brushes yours and he doesnât pull away immediately.
You tell yourself itâs all part of the act.
But maybe thatâs not the whole truth.
The meal ends as it should. Mingyu foots the bill, and he does it without complaint. On your way out, the waitress smiles at the two of you like youâre some couple to be revered.Â
Pride sparks like a flint in your chest. You douse it as quickly as you can manage.Â
Outside, the sun is bright and the sidewalk smells like coffee and car exhaust. With your joint scoping done, the two of you walk a little slower than usual. Youâre unsure why youâre not rushing to get back to the car.
âWell,â you say casually, âyou make a convincing boyfriend. Color me shocked.â
Mingyu gives you a flat look. âGlad to know my fake relationship skills impress you.â
âWhat can I say? Low expectations,â you chirp, then jab him lightly with your elbow. âNow that I think about itâ you're pretty single, huh. Why is that, again?â
Itâs a jab that youâve delivered far better in the past. Jokes about him being unable to pull. Remarks of him not knowing the first thing about romance or women.Â
Today, though, it comes out as a query of genuine curiosity. One you typically might throw at someone you wanted to gauge interest in, and my God, how damning was that?
Mingyu doesnât make a big deal out of it. He answers your question with frustrating casualness, toying with his car keys as he drags his feet. âBusy. Not looking. The usual.â
You raise an eyebrow. âLame excuse. Try again.â
âWhat about you?â he counters, the attempt at evasion only driving you a little more crazy. âStill turning down anyone who doesnât meet your god-tier standards?â
You tilt your chin up, mock-offended. âAbsolutely. Only the best for me.â
âYeah? What does that even mean?â
Itâs obvious. You know the answer to this.
âSomeone whoâs funny. Smart. A little annoying but not, like, murder-worthy,â you ramble. âTall, but not weird-tall. Knows how to argue without being a total asshole. Kind to animals. Can cook. Probably has nice hands.â
The words come out easily, too easily. You mean to keep it jokey, casual, but the list tumbles out before you can really filter it. Itâs only when you hear it out loud that it hits you.
You know someone like that.
Your mouth goes dry. A beat passes.
You realize, too late, that you've gone quiet. That the silence between you has shifted. Itâs not awkward, but itâs charged.Â
Mingyu bumps your shoulder with his, snapping you out of your reverie. âThatâs oddly specific,â he taunts. âAnyone I know?â
You scoff and shove him away. âShut up.â
From the corner of your eye, you can see him fighting down a teasing grin. You can feel your pulse thudding in your ears, can feel the heat creeping up the back of your neck.
You donât dare look at him.
You hope Mingyu doesnât know. You hope he doesnât realize you just described someone that sounds suspiciously likeâÂ
⸠S01E14: THE ONE WITH THE WORST SEVEN MINUTES OF MINGYUâS LIFE.Â
Mingyu knows better than anyone, just how true the platitude every second counts is.Â
He plays soccer. Of course he knows the value of a ticking clock, of a last-minute save, of seconds that tick by arduously slow.
The clock has always been his enemy. But, today, itâs his friend.
Every second that ticks by moves the hands on the clock. Every movement on the clock will end this game faster.
He had this coming, really. When Ryujin dared him to kiss a girlâ any girlâ in the circle, he had known he was being baited. They all wanted him to choose you, to confirm whatever stupid assumptions theyâd made about your complicated relationship.
Mingyu lived to defy expectations, so he leaned over and pulled Chaeyoung into his lap, and he kissed her like it meant something. Did his eyes briefly flicker open to check if you were watching? Did he feel some sort of sick, perverse triumph when he saw that you looked annoyed?
He should have known that karma would bite him back fast. You had the tendency to do thatâ knowing just how to piss him off right back.
Itâs been two minutes and thirty-five seconds since you stepped into that goddamn pantry with Yugyeom.
âSeven minutes in heaven,â Jinyoung had teased when the bottle landed on you, giving you free rein to choose anyone.
And Mingyu knew immediately that it wouldnât be him.Â
Your high school friend group had jeered and laughed and teased when you reached for Yugyeom. Mingyu was not an inherently violent person, but he wanted so badly, in that moment, to wipe the smug smirk off the other manâs face.
You didnât even look at Mingyu as you slinked away with Yugyeom.Â
Mingyu is nursing a new bottle now.Â
Trying to focus on the game. Trying to ignore the empty spaces in the circle. Someoneâs daring something scandalous, a strip tease of some sortsâ
Youâre wearing his jacket, Mingyu realizes. From the little spat earlier this night when youâd spilled rum down the front of your shirt. Before you could throw a hissy fit, heâd shoved his varsity jacket in your arms and told you to suck it up.
The thought of Yugyeom unbuttoning that piece of clothingâ that one thing on your body that might mark you as Mingyuâs, if it mattered at allâ has the keeper clenching his beer bottle a little tighter.Â
Itâs been three minutes and twelve seconds. Mingyu doesnât know why heâs counting it down, but he also doesnât know how to keep his cool.
His brain keeps supplying him with images of what he might do if he were in Yugyeomâs place.
The realistic answer: Youâd sulk, probably. Find a way to blame him for the situation. The two of you would bicker the entire seven minutes and then come out of the secluded pantry in foul moods. Seven minutes in hell, he would say sarcastically, when asked, and youâd flip him off.Â
Underneath the realistic answer, though, is something thatâs close to a fantasy. His hands resting at your sides, his touch warm over yourâ hisâ jacket. Your fingers entangled in his hair. The way he'd have to lean down, to tilt his head.
Would you taste like all the alcohol youâd drank that night?
Would you taste like everything heâs ever dreamed of?
Mingyu shakes his head and takes a sip of his beer, his fingers trembling around the bottle. Eunwoo is stripping as part of a dare; Mingyu tries to focus on that, and not on the fact that itâs been five minutes and fifty-two seconds.
Jungkook lets out a loud squeal. The sound pierces through the pre-drunk migraine that Mingyu already feels coming on. The soundâ
What would you sound like?
In his arms. Against his mouth. Underneathâ
âFuck,â Mingyu cusses lowly, the word spoken mostly to himself.Â
Heâs drunk. Heâs riled up. And youâre just so pretty tonightâ
âOi, lovebirds!â Jinyoung calls out in the direction of the pantry. âSeven minutes are up!â
Mingyu barely registers the sharp ring of the seven-minute alarm going off, or the jabs that everybody else throws out. His gaze is now fixed on the pantry door, the one he has to fight every urge to approach. Every second that ticks past the required mark has his head spinning with thoughts, with ideas that he would rather not dwell on.
Yugyeom emerges first, that smirk of his still in place. You come out right after, looking unruffled as you smooth out the front of your shirt.
You donât waste a single beat. Your eyes find Mingyuâs face, where heâs poorly concealed just how much more intoxicated he's gotten in your absence.
A corner of your mouth tilts upward in a vicious smile. The action you give him next is so brief, he could have imagined it.Â
You pucker your lips.
A flying kiss.
Mingyu has never wanted you so badly.
⸠S01E15: THE ONE WITH THE WORST SEVEN MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE.Â
Seven minutes.
You could do anything in seven minutes.
Say something stupid. Say something brave. Let someone kiss you. Let someone else go.
You step into the pantry and it smells like cinnamon and dust and maybe a little bit of regret. Yugyeomâs behind you, grinning like this is just another game. And maybe to him, it is. A dare. A kiss. A story to laugh about later.
The second the door shuts, the world dulls. Muffled cheers and drunken cackles blur into the walls, and itâs just the two of you in this cramped little time capsule. His hand grazes your arm. Your breath catches, but not for the reason itâs supposed to.
âHey, pretty,â Yugyeom greets, and thereâs some sort of vindication in knowing he actually does think youâre pretty.Â
This was an evening of unepic proportions, of high school friends coming together for a birthday party and bad decisions. In your head, thereâs some small consolation to the fact that thereâs not much light in the pantry.
Just the hint of fluorescence flooding through the door crack, reminding you of a loose circle where Mingyu is seated.Â
The thought of him makes your skin crawl. Itâs bad enough that you donât know how to act around him anymore. But then he went in to make out with Chaeyoung of all fucking peopleâÂ
âLetâs get on with this, Kim,â you tell Yugyeom, trying to sound convincing, sultry.
Your voice wavers just a bit on the surname. Wrong Kim.Â
To give Yugyeom some credit, he laughs softly before leaning in. His lips are warm. Kind. And you think, briefly, that he must be good at this. The kind of guy who gets picked in these games a lot. The kind of guy who smiles and means it.
You wonder if youâll feel anything when he kisses you.
You donât.
Itâs not bad. Itâs just not⌠anything.
You try. You really, really do. Your fingers curl at the front of Yugyeomâs shirt; his own hands dance over your sides. Over the jacket, over Mingyuâs jacket, and you wince because youâre thinking of him, of the way heâd introduced himself to the unfamiliar faces with that winning smile and that nickname of his, the stupid Gyu you never get to call himâÂ
âMmm,â Yugyeom hums against your lips. He pulls back, eyes still closed, a lazy grin on his face. âDid you just say âGyuâ?â
Fuck.
You blink at Yugyeom, your brain slow to catch up. âNo, I didnât,â you sputter.Â
He opens one eye. âYou totally did.â
You could say you said Gyeom. You could simply shut Yugyeom up with a fiercer kiss, maybe a little more action.
But itâs there, out in the open, curling in the space between you two like something dangerous and damagingÂ
The slip wasnât just a slip. It was your heart showing its cards. A royal fucking flush you canât even begin to run from.
Your hand falls to your side. Yugyeom steps back.Â
No annoyance, no dramaticsâ just something soft in his smile that makes it worse. âYou wanna try that again? With the right guyâs name this time?â
You cover your face with your hands. âYugyeom,â you groan, because while you canât bring yourself to try making out again, you can at least say the right name. âPlease donât make fun of me.â
âNever,â he chirps. He shifts to lean on one of the pantryâs low shelves, hands tucked in his hoodie. âSo. Mingyu, huh?â
You donât answer right away.
Because what is there to say? That youâve spent more than half your life wrapped in arguments and almosts and the kind of tension that shouldâve burned out by now but hasnât? That the sound of your name in Mingyuâs mouth makes you want to scream or kiss him or both? That he gave you his stupid jacket and youâre still wearing it like it means something?
âItâs complicated,â you gripe.Â
Yugyeom cackles. âThatâs the most girl-whoâs-in-love thing Iâve ever heard.â
âShut up.â
He doesnât. âYou know he was watching the door like a lovesick puppy, right?â
That shouldnât make your heart flutter. It does anyway. âHe was?â you ask, and you could kick yourself for just how giddy you sound.Â
Itâs as close to a direct confirmation that Yugyeom is going to get. You think that he might be grinning, but itâs not something you can be sure of in the darkness. Itâs something you hear instead, bleeding into his words. âPretty sure he was ready to fight me.âÂ
You sit beside Yugyeom. The shelf creaks. Your hands are cold in your lap, but your face is burning.
âDo you love him?â he asks, and itâs so straightforward you want to laugh.
You donât say a thing. Itâs one of those silence-means-yes moments, one of those things that should go unsaid.Â
The sun is warm, the sky is blue, and youâre in love with Kim Mingyu. Â
Despite how much the fact has simmered underneath your skin, itâs something you canât bring yourself to say out loud. Because itâs not that easy. Because itâs him. Because you know the way he isâ impulsive and stubborn and so good at pretending he doesnât care when really, he cares too much.
And so you donât answer Yugyeom. The two of you kill the remaining minutes in silence; itâs almost like your friend is letting you sit with the truth, the realization.
After a long moment, he leans in to press a chaste, friendly kiss to the top of your head.
âWhatever it is,â he mumbles into your hair, âheâs one lucky bastard.âÂ
You let out a watery laugh. You hadnât even realized you were tearing upâ the sheer fear of the reality overwhelming you.Â
Jinyoungâs voice echoes from outside. âOi, lovebirds! Seven minutes are up!â
âCome on. Gotta act like we had some fun in here,â Yugyeom urges. âYou picked me to make him jealous, right? Letâs make it look like that.âÂ
âI owe you my first born child,â you respond, genuinely grateful despite everything.Â
âHopefully the one youâll have with MingââÂ
âLetâs not go there.âÂ
He messes with your hair. You rumple up his shirt. Itâs all a farce, a show, and Yugyeom is kind enough to play along. He throws you a conspiratorial wink as he steps out, that smirk of his slotting right back on to his barely-swollen lips.Â
You take a deep breath, and then you follow.Â
Itâs almost like a magnet, how your eyes seek out Mingyu. He looks just a little more drunk; a feat, considering the fact youâve been gone for only seven minutes.Â
You canât help it. Your mouth twitches in a fond grin. The way his gaze is burning into you, the way heâs clutching his beer bottle just a little too tightly?Â
That might be what compels you. Itâs a flicker of an action, a ghost of a tease. You throw him a flying kiss, giggling to yourself when his face flushes a shade of red.Â
You have never wanted Mingyu so badly.Â
⸠S01E16: THE ONE WITH THE âMISTAKEâ.Â
He doesn't want to be mad.
Truly. Logically. On paperâ whatever. Mingyu knows he started it.Â
He kissed Chaeyoung first. He played the game. He played you. And now here you are, sitting cross-legged on his couch in your usual over-the-top family dinner outfit. Like that one night at the party didnât end with him counting down seconds that felt like drowning.
Youâre humming some song under your breath. Youâre so calm, so nonchalant.Â
Mingyu is not. He stomps and clenches his hands into fists and slams his drawer with more force than necessary.
You glance up from your phone. âDamn,â you say with a low whistler. âDid the closet offend you or something?âÂ
He doesnât answer. Heâs pulling clothes out of his dresser like they all personally insulted him. Button-down, slacks, watch, socks. All too formal for something thatâs supposed to be casual, but tonight everything feels like a performance.
He ducks into his room and dresses quickly. By the time he emerges, youâre already standing by the front door. It shoots a momentary panic through him, the thought of you leaving.
But then youâre quipping, âYou said we had to leave at seven. Itâs 6:55. Just reminding you before you start blaming me for being late.â
âIâm not blaming you,â he grunts, padding across his living room in search of his wallet.Â
He can see you looking skeptical in his peripheral vision. âSure feels like it,â you huff.
âCan you not?â
âCan I not what? Breathe in your general direction?â
Mingyu exhales sharply. He should stop. He should apologize. He should not make this worse.
He does.
âYeah?â His tone drips with derision as he finally shoves his essentials into the pocket of his trousers. âMaybe if you werenât so good at pretending nothing ever touches you, I wouldnât have to.â
You laugh; the sound is incredulous, sharp. Offended?Â
âRight, because clearly youâre the one whoâs been suffering,â you jeer. And then, completely out of the left fieldâ
âI forgot how hard it mustâve been for you, kissing Chaeyoung like your life depended on it.â
Thereâs so much to unpack. The way youâre bringing this whole thing up days after it happened, even after you and Mingyu have just kind of⌠bristled at each other a lot more. Mingyu wanted to think your patience was just a lot thinner than usualâ as was hisâ but he hadnât imagined it would be related to that night. Or to Chaeyoung.Â
It makes his heart, the traitor that it is, practically stop in his chest.Â
He knows where youâre getting at. He knows what this could mean. He just has to make sure, and itâs in the way he tries to keep up with his rage when he snaps, âWhat does that have to doââÂ
âWhy didnât you kiss me?â
And there it is.Â
The question cuts through everything. Your voiceâ loud at first, angryâ is suddenly small. Wounded.
Mingyuâs head spins.Â
You wanted him to kiss you.Â
You wanted him to kiss you.Â
His mouth opens then closes. Your face is incandescent, burning with shame. He knows this about you, knows youâve never been able to deny yourself a thing. Youâre an open book, a heart-on-the-platter type of girl. As badly as he wants to try and figure out all the signs he might have missed, heâs more concerned with the fact that youâre already trying to take it back.
Your hand is on the door handle. Youâre about to make a run for it, Mingyu realizes, and thatâs not something heâs going to let happen.Â
Before you can get too far, his fingers are wrapping around your wrist and tugging you back.
When you look up at him, his expression is contorted into a mix of torment and want. Youâre not looking any better yourself; you look caught between desire and fear, like all the years youâve shared are bearing down on the two of you.Â
You look as crazy as Mingyu feels.Â
âI was waiting,â Mingyu breathes, his eyes wide and wild. âI was waitingââ
âFor what?â you bite out. âWhat were you waiting for?â
His sharp response is softened by the desperation edging his tone. âFor the perfect moment,â he snaps.
Mingyu tugs you into his space. Heâs gentle, still, as he snakes an arm around your waist and pulls you closer until youâre chest to chest. He has to tuck his head to press his forehead against yours, and he canât breathe.Â
Youâre holding your breath, too, like youâre fighting every instinct to kick up a fuss at how patient heâs being. He has to be. He has to be, or else heâs going to give you everything when the two of you have to meet your families for the night.Â
His breath ghosts over your lips, which are already parted so beautifully for him.
âBut I guess,â he whispers, his heart in his throat, at your feet, in your hands, âmy shitty apartment is as good as any for a first kiss, huh?â
Mingyu doesnât even wait for you to answer.Â
He closes the distance and presses down into you, enough that you end up taking a step back. When your nails sink into Mingyuâs shoulders to hold yourself steady, he lets out a low hiss against your mouth but refuses to pull away.
He kisses you like heâs thought about doing it for years.Â
And maybe he has. Maybe itâs always been thereâ this prospect, this possibility, and he couldâve gone his whole life just wondering what it might be like.
Now that he has it, has you, he doesnât know if he can go without it.
It might be a mistake. He knows that.Â
Heâs crossed a line youâve both danced around for too long. There's a part of himâ rational and carefulâ that screams this could ruin everything.
But then you kiss him back.
You kiss him back like you mean it, like youâre angry about all the years wasted not doing this. Like you want to climb into the marrow of him and stay there.Â
Mingyu doesnât know how long it lasts. Doesnât care. Eventually, the space between you pulls taut again, and you're both left staring, dazed, stunned, as if the world has shifted under your feet.
His fingers ghost over his lips. Theyâre swollen, just like yours, and he knows thereâs no going back from this. Thereâs no way heâll ever be able to convince himself that youâre some annoying pest instead of the love of his goddamn life.Â
âWeâ we should go,â Mingyu says hoarsely, barely above a whisper. Itâs all he can manage.
And for once, you donât fight him.
⸠S01E17: THE ONE WITH THE PROMISE.Â
The bane of your existence drives you to your familyâs monthly lunch in his beat-up car with one working speaker and a half-eaten protein bar wedged into the cupholder.
You complain about the lack of legroom. He snarks back about your giant tote bag taking up all the space. Itâs almost impressive how easily the two of you slip back into the familiar routine of bickering.Â
If someone were to eavesdrop, theyâd never guess youâd made out half an hour ago. That heâd kissed you like you were the only thing keeping him breathing; that youâd kissed him like he had all the answers to the questions youâve been afraid to ask.Â
Mingyu parallel parks like an assholeâ too far from the curbâ and you mutter something under your breath as you slam the door shut behind you.
âYou could say thank you,â he says, locking the car.
âThank you,â you echo. âFor the trauma.â
He almost smiles. The sight of him fighting that back reminds you of his lips, how theyâd been so soft against yours despite the heated, desperate way he moved.Â
Your brain is going to be in the gutter the whole evening. Youâre sure of it.Â
Your families are already there at the vouchsafed hipster cafĂŠ when the two of you walk through the door. For a treacherous moment, everything feels like clockwork again. The smell of garlic bread wafts through the air. His mother greets you with a warm hug. His dad already has a story locked and loaded. Your parents give him the same doting affection.Â
Itâs so normal you almost forget whatâs changed.
Almost.
Mingyu sits next to you instead of across from you. He offers you the breadbasket first, tops your glass when nobody else is looking.Â
At one point, you arch a brow at him, suspicious. He says nothing.
Itâs all suspicious.
Conversation flows easily enough. Your families are familiar, loud, opinionated. Thereâs some rapport between you and Mingyu; if your parents notice that itâs not as scathing as usual, they donât point it out.Â
Under the table, something changes.
You feel it before you see it. Mingyuâs hand, careful and tentative, resting on your knee. His touch is featherlight, like heâs giving you a chance to move away.
You donât.
Itâs hidden by the table cloth, and you think you might be imagining it until you glance at him.
Heâs already looking at you.
His expression is half-agony, half-hope.
And thatâs the thing about Kim Mingyu. Heâs always been too much and never enough. Too loud, too cocky, too frustrating. Never thoughtful enough, never serious enough, never willing to make the first move until now.Â
Youâre done keeping score. This isnât a battle of wits, a challenge of who can hold out better. This is a game neither of you will win.Â
No. This is a game you no longer have to play.Â
You lace your fingers through his.Â
Mingyuâs shoulders drop like heâs been holding that breath for years. He squeezes your hand, and you think you could get used to this, to him. Youâll have to talk about it later, to decide; for now, though, the promise of it is more than enough.
You used to think there was no universe in which you and Kim Mingyu could ever get along.
But maybeâ just maybeâ this one will do.
2K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Supposed Distraction

Pairing: College!Athlete!Bucky x College!Reader
Summary: Itâs Buckyâs birthday and you and your friends are planning a surprise party. That leaves you with the task to distract him while the others prepare.
Prompt 1: âI think we need to talk.â
Prompt 2: âI donât owe you an explanation.â
Prompt 3: âKiss me.â
Word Count: 7.6k
Warnings: friends to lovers; reader is embarrassed and rather terrible at attempting to distract Bucky; Bucky is smug; Bucky is worried; Sam and Steve are idiots; feels; pining; tension; Bucky is a sweetheart
Authorâs Note: This is another entry for the lovely cinema themed writing challenge by @elixirfromthestars ⥠I hope youâre not getting tired of me participating, my dear, but I couldnât help it. Especially since you were the one inspiring me to write this about college!bucky. I'll have to thank you for that!! Hope you enjoy! âĄ
Masterlist
You always knock four times.
Itâs instinctive at this point, muscle memory more than conscious thought. You donât even remember when or how it started, but it's always fours knocks.
The door swings open within seconds, revealing Buckyâs easy and bright grin. He leans against the frame, arms crossed over his broad chest, hair slightly tousled, perhaps from running his hands through it. God, he looks great.
âHey, doll,â he greets, voice warm. âYouâre early.â
You arch a brow, stepping past him when he shifts to let you in. âItâs your birthday, Buck. What kind of friend would I be if I left you alone, huh?â
Bucky exhales a short sigh, but his smile stays in place. âTold you, itâs not a big deal.â
ââCourse it is, Buck,â you argue, almost indignant at the thought. Because if anyone deserves a day where people get to celebrate him, itâs James Buchanan Barnes.
But he doesnât make much of his birthday. He doesnât like attention when he hasnât earned it.
Itâs why he loves the mound, standing there under stadium lights with all eyes on him, but loathes things like this - birthdays, personal praise, anything that forces him into a spotlight just for existing. You suppose thatâs just part of who he is.
You saw him earlier, in university. You shared one class today. He walked in a few minutes late, baseball cap pulled low, backpack slung lazily over one shoulder.
You had been waiting for him, barely able to contain your excitement as you nearly launched yourself at him in the hallway with a cheerful happy birthday, Bucky!
He had only blinked, slightly startled at your enthusiasm before huffing out a laugh when you crushed him in a tight hug. But he hadnât complained, only chuckled softly, winding his arms around you and pressing his hands to your back, waiting for you to be the first to pull away again.
You told him he'd receive his present later the day with a grin and Bucky only rolled his eyes with a fond smile, letting you have your moment.
But what Bucky doesnât know is that there is a surprise party awaiting him later, planned by you and your shared group of friends - because somebody has to make sure that today doesnât pass like it is just another day.
Samâs apartment is the only logical choice, given that his roommate dropped out and no one had rushed to fill the space yet. That means lots of room, plus an open invitation to make a mess.
The only issue is that Samâs apartment is directly across the hall from Bucky and Steveâs.
Which means you have been assigned a very specific task - keep Bucky in his apartment until itâs time.
Not that you had much say in the matter. The moment the question came up about who would be the one distracting him that long, every pair of eyes landed on you.
You are his best friend, but - and thatâs how you see it - so is everyone else. Still, they seemed to believe that you could hold his attention for long enough, that you could keep him engaged enough not to notice the shuffle of footsteps and suspicious voices beyond his door. That it would be you who he doesnât mind having around, lingering in his space.
Honestly, you didnât argue.
There is not a reason as to why you should. Any excuse to spend time with Bucky is a good one.
After all, you love the guy. But thatâs a problem for another day.
You drop your bag on the worn-out armchair by the window, the same spot you always claim when you are here.
Buckyâs jacket is slung over the back of the chair, and the second your bag lands on it, the scent of his cologne drifts up - clean, something woodsy, something him. It distracts you for a second, but then you turn to face him again.
He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans after closing the door again.
âWhereâs Steve?â you ask casually, like you donât already know he is across the hall, making sure everything is set up for the surprise. But you donât know what he told Bucky.
âHe said somethinâ about running some drills with the rookies, helping out the coach, or whatever,â Bucky answers, tilting his head in that unconcerned way. He slowly makes his way toward you. âGuess one of them nearly took his own damn head off trying to hit a curveball.â
One of your brows lifts amused. âAnd Steveâs the guy to fix that?â
Bucky smirks. âWell, yâknow how he is. Someone fucks up a throw, suddenly heâs gotta be the one to teach âem how to do it right.â He shakes his head, like the whole thing is ridiculous.
âYeah, sounds like Steve,â you state, trying to suppress a knowing smile.
You lean your hip against the kitchen counter, arms loosely crossed, trying to keep it casual. The apartment is small, with the kitchen bleeding into the living space, a single couch, and a coffee table taking up a lot of the room. You love it.
âSo, what do you feel like doing?â You tip your head toward him. âYouâre the birthday boy, you get to decide.â
Bucky scoffs, lips curling, finding your antics amusing. But then, he actually seems to consider it. His hands slip from his pockets, arms crossing as he leans back slightly against the table. His gaze falls to the window. Sunlight spills in, casting golden lines across the floor and making your hair gleam.
âYou wanna go get some ice cream or somethinâ?â he suggests. âItâs warm out.â
You blink, caught off guard. Bucky isnât usually the one to propose going out. It takes a little coaxing most days, a push to get him moving and leave his apartment to meet your group of friends somewhere outside. You wonder what he would have said if anyone else were the one distracting him.
But you canât take him up on it. Because you canât let him leave and potentially find out.
âUh-no,â you say, a little too quickly, a little too firmly.
Buckyâs brows lift, a smirk tugging at the edge of his mouth. âNo?â He huffs a laugh, shifting his weight onto one foot, arms still folded. His voice takes on that slow, teasing drawl. âYou just asked me what I wanna do, doll. Thought I got to decide? Yâknow, birthday and all that.â
You just started this distracting thing and you are already messing up. Great.
You scramble for a way to walk it back, to keep him here without making it obvious. âYeah, you know, I just-â You glance around as if the answer is hidden somewhere in the room. âWhy donât we stay inside?â
Bucky watches you, eyes narrowing just slightly, trying to puzzle you out. He doesnât look suspicious. But there is a curiosity in it.
âWhy?â he drags the word out, tilting his head. âSomething wrong with ice cream? We could also go get some tacos maybe-â
âNo! Nothingâs wrong with ice cream.â You force a laugh, waving your hand dismissively. âI just figured we could chill here for a bit.â You bite your lip, then continue. âWe could bake you a cake?â
You would love to face-palm yourself right now.
Why would you even say that?
There will be plenty of cake at the party. Cake thatâs already been ordered, picked out, baked yourself, and waiting across the hall. And yet, here you are, offering something completely unnecessary, completely ridiculous.
God, you are terrible at this.
Buckyâs blue eyes are on you, considering, lips parting, about to say something.
Panic rises.
âOr not,â you blurt, stepping forward too fast, too sudden, hands coming up in a vague, dismissive gesture. âYeah, maybe not. Thatâs dumb. Forget I said anything.â
You shift where you stand, fingers twitching at your sides. You donât get nervous around Bucky - at least, not like this. But something hot and uncomfortable starts to creep up the back of your neck.
A slow smirk pulls at Buckyâs mouth as he watches you with so much amusement in his eyes, enjoying whatever the hell this is turning into.
âYou alright over there, doll?â he asks, voice warm, teasing.
You scoff, rolling your eyes, trying to keep your cool. âYeah, Iâm fine.â
âYou sure?â He tilts his head, a lock of dark hair falling into his eyes. âCause youâre actinâ a little funny.â
You open your mouth, a retort or something like it ready, but Bucky suddenly leans in just a fraction, gaze sweeping over your face like he is searching for something. And yeah shit, you need to shut this down. Now. Or youâll be a hot mess on the floor.
âJust forget it.â You shrug and then move away from him, toward the fridge, suddenly very interested in whateverâs inside. âYou want something to drink?â
You donât look back at him immediately, donât give him a chance to see the way you feel your face warm up. Instead, you grab two small bottles of orange juice, shoving one in his direction as a distraction.
Bucky takes it easily, but that amused smirk does not waver a tiny bit. He is still watching you.
Bucky is no idiot. And if youâre not careful, heâs going to catch on fast.
You twist the cap of the bottle a little forcefully, the plastic groaning in your grip. The cold of it seeps into your palm, but itâs not enough to steady the way your heart is beating a little too fast. Taking a sip of the juice, you try to swallow past the lump in your throat.
He has always been observant. Even more so when it comes to you. You wish, just this once, that he'd be a little more dense.
âYou gonna tell me whatâs up with you today?â he asks, voice colored with curiosity, dipping just enough into concern that you flinch internally.
âI donât owe you an explanation.â
Itâs defensive, but all it does is amuse him. His lips curve, his brows shoot high, the lines on his forehead creasing in exaggerated surprise.
Leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest, his own bottle loosely held in one hand, he tips his head back and studies you. âThat how weâre playin�� it, huh?â
You shrug, taking another sip of your juice, using the movement as an excuse to break eye contact. But you know it does not deter him.
Bucky makes a thoughtful noise, shifting his weight. âYâknow,â he drones out, tone lazy but eyes sharp and smirk sly. âUsually when people get all cagey like this, it means theyâre hidinâ something.â
You shoot him a hopefully flat look. âWow, Barnes. Thatâs some real detective work. You want to get a notepad? Maybe a magnifying glass?â
His smirk widens. He seems thoroughly entertained. You donât like it.
âDepends,â he teases, leaning in just a fraction. âDo I need âem?â
Your pulse spikes. Bastard.
With an obvious eye roll that unfortunately lacks the conviction you tried to portray, you cross the room, shoulders set, and let yourself drop into the armchair where your bag still rests with a heavy thud. The cushions soften the impact. Trying to feign the usual comfort you feel sitting here, you tuck one leg under the other, leaning back. Your hands tighten around the still cold bottle of juice.
Bucky doesnât move right away. He is still standing by the counter, bottle in hand, eyes never leaving you.
âDo you want to watch something?â you ask, reaching for the remote, already trying to steer this back into safe waters.
Bucky exhales through his nose, humor lining the corners of his eyes. His stance is easy and relaxed, but he looks at you like he knows something is off.
âIs this me deciding?â he muses, voice smooth. âOr are you just gonna tell me no again?â
There is no accusation in his tone, just that familiar Brooklyn drawl that makes everything sound like an inside joke.
He finally moves, dragging his body toward the couch. He doesnât plop down like you did. He settles himself with intent and leans forward slightly, elbows resting on his knees, his entire focus trained on you like you are the most interesting thing in the room.
You swallow.
âYouâll get to decide,â you promise, trying for nonchalance.
Bucky glances at the dark TV screen, then back at you.
âNah,â he claims. âLetâs talk.â
Your stomach drops.
Bucky never lets things go when he is curious. You see the spark in his eyes, the glint of amusement, the way the corners of his mouth twitch with that smirk. He knows you are acting weird. Maybe he doesnât know why, but he sure as hell knows something is up and he is going to dig.
You inhale deeply, fighting the urge to groan. But all you do is force a casual shrug, stretching your arms over your head before letting them drop back into your lap. âWhat do you want to talk about?â
Your fingers fidget with the label on the bottle, a nervous little movement you donât mean to make. Buckyâs gaze flickers down to your hands and you freeze, immediately stilling them, letting the bottle rest in your lap and shoving your hands between your thighs.
His eyes snap back to yours, lips curving up.
âYou,â he says simply.
You roll your eyes, feigning playful annoyance, because if you donât, you might actually combust on the spot. âOh, come on,â you scoff.
For the next few minutes, you actually manage to let a conversation drift to normal things. The familiar back-and-forth. You talk about classes, you being annoyed at that one professor who has a habit of trailing off mid-lecture, forgetting what he is actually supposed to talk about. Bucky tells you about his brutal morning training session that left half the team groaning like old men.
You bring up his next baseball game, the one you wonât be able to make because of an assignment, and Bucky whines.
He doesnât just complain a little but rather goes on about it for minutes on end. Arms flailing, huffing dramatically, groaning like you just told him his dog died.
âYou could just skip,â he protests, lounging back into the couch.
âI canât just skip, Bucky.â
âBut I need my lucky charm,â he laments, throwing his head back against the cushion as if this is some great tragedy.
You roll your eyes but there is warmth rising in your chest. âIâm sorry, Buck. But I did come to all your games last month.â
âYeah, which is why you owe me,â Bucky retorts, sitting up again, gesturing with his hands. âI hit a homer 'cause you were there. What if I suck without you?â
âIâm sure youâll survive,â you laugh, but Bucky grumbles under his breath, not quite over it.
It starts to feel normal. Easy. You begin to believe that you might actually pull this off. That you can keep him here, keep him occupied, long enough for your friends across the hall to finish setting up.
But then a loud thump echoes from the hallway.
Your spine goes rigid.
Buckyâs head snaps up, his grin replaced with a furrowed brow.
Another thud.
Yeah, so, that was that.
You fumble for your phone and type out a quick text to Sam.
Y: What are you guys doing out there?
The reply comes almost immediately.
S: Just keep Barnes inside.
You would love to curse loudly right now. Because thank you for nothing, Sam.
Bucky is already standing.
âWhat are you doing?â you ask, standing up as well, your voice perhaps a little sharper than usual.
Bucky glances at you briefly. There is a tiny bit of concern in his eyes. âThereâs something goinâ on out there.â He gestures toward the door. âThink I should check. Might be Miss Nelly.â
Something clenches in your gut.
Miss Nelly, the sweet older woman who lives next door to him and Steve. The one they always help carry groceries up the stairs. The one who has trouble with her hip sometimes. If Bucky thinks she might have fallen, or perhaps tried to carry something on her own, of course, he wants to check.
But that is not what is happening out there.
You rush to step between him and the door. âLet me check.â
Bucky shakes his head. âYou wait here, doll. Iâll be back in a sec-â
But you donât let him finish.
You throw the door open and basically slam it shut behind you before he can follow.
Yes, that was perhaps a little rude. Yes, that will probably only make him more suspicious. Yes, you could have come up with something better. But you certainly did not have the time to think about what exactly.
Right outside, Sam and Steve are standing there - in front of the open door to Sam's apartment where a chair lays with its backside on the floor - wide-eyed, looking about as guilty as two kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
You would have laughed at the sight if not for the fact that you just slammed Buckyâs own apartment door basically in his face without an explanation.
âWhat the hell are you guys doing?â you hiss, voice low, exasperated.
Sam lifts his hands in a calm down gesture. âListen-â
âNo, you listen,â you snap, whisper-shouting, barely resisting the urge to grab them by their collars and shake them. âHeâs two seconds away from walking out that door.â
Steve grimaces, rubbing the back of his neck. âWe, uh, we miscalculated.â
âMiscalculated?â you repeat, eyes narrowing.
They both exchange a glance.
You sigh in frustration. âWhereâs Nat?â
âOut with Bruce getting drinks,â Steve answers, folding his arms. âWanda, Clint, and Laura are inside, decorating.â
âLook,â Sam starts, raising a brow. âWeâre bustinâ our asses for this dickhead, and youâre the one who came up with the whole thing in the first place.â
âThatâs not-â
âSo you gotta do your part. Go back in and stall him some moreâ A grin spreads across his face and he waggles his eyebrows suggestively. âI donât know - offer him a good time.â
Your eyes narrow, hands on your hips. âSam.â
Steve sighs, shaking his head, but there is an unmistakable smirk tugging at his lips.
You glare at them both, spinning on your heel before they can make this worse, yanking the door open and stepping back inside the apartment.
Bucky is exactly where you left him.
Arms crossed. Eyebrows raised. Lips parted slightly, caught between confusion and suspicion.
He is wearing that what the hell was that expression.
You swallow and shut the door more forcefully than necessary, the sound echoing slightly.
Bucky doesnât move. Doesnât blink. Just fixes you with a stare so focused, so piecing, seemingly able to look right through you. It makes you shift where you stand, suddenly hyper-aware of every nervous tick in your body.
âAlright,â he starts slowly, carefully, eyes falling to the door before turning back to you. âWhatâs goinâ on?â
âNot Miss Nelly,â you quip, attempting a light and assuring tone.
It does not work.
Bucky still doesnât blink. His jaw works. He doesnât buy a damn thing youâre trying to sell him.
âNo, doll.â His voice is lower now, thoughtful, putting together a puzzle in his head. âWhatâs going on with you?â
You try to press down the lump in your throat.
âYouâre actinâ real weird.â His words arenât harsh, not even accusing. Just observant.
He cocks his head slightly.
Why did the others think you could withstand the way his eyes root you to the spot without flopping down to the ground as a puddle.
You are so screwed.
You push yourself out of the conversation, walking over to the armchair again and trying to find something to keep you busy while plopping down.
âItâs nothing, Bucky.â
Your fingers curl around the juice bottle, bringing it to your lips, but the cold liquid doesnât do much to cool the heat crawling up your spine. Your thumb works at the label, picking at the paper until it peels away in small, curling strips.
Bucky blows out a breath, rubbing a hand down his face before slowly making his way over to you.
Crouching in front of you, he braces his forearms on his knees, his eyes intently locked onto you.
The sudden closeness forces you to suck in a breath and your fingers tighten around the bottle in your hands.
His expression shifts again, humor creeping into the smirk on his mouth. âDoll,â he starts, voice light, amused. His hands slide up to rest on either side of your chair, effectively caging you in. âDid you plan somethinâ for me?â
Shit.
Your next inhale is a little hesitant. The air thickens. âNo.â It sounds too stiff.
Bucky raises an eyebrow. He is smirking so wide. Enjoying this so much, the way you squirm in your seat before him.
You push forward, shaking your head. âNo, Buck. I did not.â
âYou sure?â He almost laughs.
âYes, I just-â You are floundering, drowning in your own words. How can you save this now?
âIâm nervous.â Well, at least thatâs not a lie.
Buckyâs expression softens immediately, his amusement fading into something quieter. He straightens up, tilting his head tenderly. His full attention is on you.
A gentle crease in his brows forms. âWhy are you nervous, sweetheart?â His voice is softer now, lower.
And guilt hits you.
How do you get out of this?
But, hell, he is so close, too close. His eyes are so blue, too blue. His gaze is so intense, too intense. You are feeling hot, too hot - your brain isnât working, itâs overheating, and your mouth is suddenly moving.
âBecause.â Shut up, shut up, shut up. âBecause I think we need to talk.â
Oh, for fuckâs sake.
The entirety of Bucky shifts and you just want the ground to eat you up right this second.
Because now he looks so worried. So genuinely concerned.
You feel yourself start to sweat. Where is this going? Why canât you stop this? Why did you even start it?
Buckyâs face drops to a frown so deep, lines are forming. A hand of his moves, palm landing lightly on your knee.
âWe can talk, doll.â His voice is even softer now, barely above a murmur. âIs something wrong? You alright?â
You just stare at him.
Your heart is hammering.
What the hell are you doing?
Your teeth sink into your bottom lip as your fingers keep worrying at the torn label, peeling off strips that crumple beneath your fingertips. Itâs the only thing you want to focus on right now with Buckyâs proximity and his intense gaze.
But then his hands replace the bottle and he grasps your fingers, wrapping around them and stilling their fidgeting.
Something electric rushes through your veins so quickly, you couldnât catch it if you tried.
This is getting way too serious.
Too intimate in a way that sends your pulse skittering up your throat.
You feel like a deer caught in headlights, your body tensing up, lungs forgetting how to work properly. Because this is veering dangerously off course, heading straight for a conversation youâre not sure youâre ready to have. You never thought youâd ever be ready.
But you started this. You walked straight into it with your own words, and there is no backing out now. So you might as well be honest now.
No time like the present.
Bucky must feel the way your hands begin to tremble in his hold, because he adjusts again, shifting closer, his knees pressing against the base of your chair. His thumbs trace over the backs of your hands. His frown deepens.
Why does he have to be so worried? It would make things so much easier if he remained casual and easy. But really, thatâs how Bucky always is. Worrying so fast when it comes to you. You canât really blame this on him now, can you?
His voice drops lower, soft as a whisper. âWhat is it, sweetheart?â His eyes are full and searching. âTalk to me.â
Air hitches, stalling between your ribs before pushing forward in a rather trembling exhale. Your lungs barely feel full. Your eyes dart away from his, searching the room, the floor, anywhere but him.
âDid I upset you? Is it something I did-â
âNo!â you rush out, hastily. âNo, you didnât do anything, Buck.â God, now he even goes that far. This is bad.
Bucky softens a tiny fraction, but he keeps sweeping his eyes over your face, latching on the details, trying to study you, trying to read what this is about. âYou can tell me, doll. Always. Whatever it is,â he coos so sweetly, and it makes you want to cry.
How do you even start this?
You open your mouth. Youâre certainly not ready to climb the whole mountain, but perhaps you can try a small hill.
âDo you-â You swallow, trying to sound as if you are simply reminiscing. âDo you remember that time after your game last year when it started pouring the second we left the stadium?â
Bucky blinks at the sudden turn. Confusion enters his features but the worry only deepens. âWhat?â
You push forward, gaze fixed on the arm of your chair as if it might give you the courage you need. âYou gave me your jersey, even though I already had a jacket and you were the one soaking wet-â
Buckyâs brows pull further together, his head shaking slowly, not knowing what to do with your words. âDoll-â
âYou walked me all the way back to my apartment.â Your voice turns quieter as if you are speaking more to yourself than him. Perhaps you are. Saying those things out loud makes them seem so much more important. âAnd then you got sick for three days.â
His hands squeeze yours gently. âI mean- Yeah, I remember.â Confusion also settles in his tone. âBut whatâs that got to do with-â
âI donât know,â you cut in quickly. âI just-â You exhale a deep sigh. âI think about that a lot.â
Bucky says your name like it is something delicate. Something that might slip away if he is not careful.
âLook at me, please.â
You try, but itâs hard.
It means staring into those impossibly blue eyes that see too much, that strip you bare without even trying, that try to coax something out of you, you didnât even plan on letting go.
But you force yourself to lift your gaze and it is worse than you expected.
He is watching you with an intensity that makes you stop breathing. His stormy eyes are so full of concern, so desperate to understand what is going on in your head, searching every inch of your face.
His lips are parted slightly. His breathing is sharper. Uneven.
âWhatâs going on, hm?â he coaxes, so softly, so full of patience you donât deserve. âWhatâs this about? You still feelinâ guilty?â
Your heart plummets like a stone.
âDoll, thereâs no need to, alright?â His hands squeeze yours, grounding, reassuring. âWe talked about this.â
God, why does he have to be so good?
His voice is so warm. Warm like sunlight, like home. It makes the sting behind your eyes grow stronger.
You donât want to cry.
You donât want to feel this way. Donât want to ruin his fucking birthday like this. This is getting so out of hand right now, but what should you do? You are so tangled up in trying to figure out what to say, things you are too much of a coward to finally admit out loud.
Bucky notices your struggles. He sees them. Plain on your face. His thumbs brush over your skin in careful strokes. âAnd you took such good care of me.â His tone lightens, trying to pull you out of whatever hole youâre sinking into. âRemember that part?â
You nod, swallowing and swallowing but the clump of emotions stays stuck in your throat. âYeah.â Your voice comes out flat, like you are detached from it. âI do. Sorry for bringing it up.â
Buckyâs lips press together, and then he sighs so deeply, his chest rises and falls profoundly.
âDoll,â he murmurs, straightening up, arms beside you tensing as though he is holding himself back from doing something. âThatâs not what you wanted to talk about.â
Heâs right.
âDarlinâ, please,â he urges, and god, the way that word falls from his lips makes you shudder. His voice is barely above a whisper now, full of something genuine, something tender, something that makes him sound like he wishes you would just talk to him, and it makes you want to shrink down to something he canât see anymore. âWhat is it?â
You could lie. Again.
You could laugh it off, steer the conversation away, keep pretending.
You could drag this out further until the others are ready, leaving him worried and slightly upset.
You could tell him the truth about the party.
Or you could finally come clean about the feelings you have held in your heart for so long. Feelings for your best friend.
Drawing in a breath, you straighten slightly. Your hands, still held in his, still shaking, squeeze back. His eyes never waver from your face, tracing the contours of your features.
You clear your throat, but it doesnât help much. âUhm,â you croak. âI- I wanted- I need to tell you something.â
His fingers twitch around yours. His features fall into a deep concentration. He doesnât rush you. Just watches. Waits.
And god, his eyes are pools you never learned to swim in.
You look away, at the wall behind him. âIâve been wanting to tell you this for a while now, I guess. But-â You inhale a quivering breath. âBut I was afraid. Because I donât know how youâll react.â
Bucky doesnât move. Doesnât blink. His chest rises and falls deeply, almost mechanically. There is something almost spellbound in the way he stares at you, completely locked in, completely yours. The only sign that he has heard you is the subtle press of his fingers against yours.
His head dips in a nod for you to go on.
You wet your lips. âI, uhm-â
But then something catches your attention.
The door to Buckyâs and Steveâs apartment opens.
Painstakingly slow.
You stiffen.
Bucky is still so enamored with what you were saying, he doesnât seem to notice at first. His back is to the door.
You see heads peeking through the small gap, cautious, bodies frozen in an awkward crouch as if that makes them less noticeable.
Steve and Sam.
They are trying to slip in without a sound, their movements so unbelievably slow, exaggerated. They resemble cartoon characters sneaking through a heist.
Sam motions at you wildly, gesturing at Bucky, at himself, at the hallway, mouthing something like distract him! Keep him busy.
They almost make it, but Bucky catches the small reaction of you, the surprise. His senses are too tuned in to every little thing about you and with his brows knit together, he shifts to glance over his shoulder.
You donât think about anything.
Your hands rip from his, and before he can turn fully, before he can see those two idiots, you grab his face.
Bucky jolts, startled, his breath hitching audibly. His skin is warm beneath your palms, the sharp angle of his jaw fitting perfectly against your hands. His wide eyes snap back to you, dumbfounded, searching.
He blinks at you. Then blinks again. Then simply stares.
His lips part slightly, breath brushing over your skin.
Your heart slams against your ribs.
This is close. Too close. Closer than youâve ever been. Well, but not closer than youâve let yourself imagine. But having him here in reality is something else entirely.
Sam throws you a thumbs up over Buckyâs head and a wiggle of his brows and the both of them disappear from sight into the hallway.
But you just made this worse.
And you are still holding his face between your hands.
Buckyâs lashes flicker, but he doesnât pull away. Doesnât fight it. Just stares at you like youâve done something earth-shattering, like youâve just rewritten every unspoken rule between you in a single, desperate motion.
Your pulse is a drum against your throat.
You see Buckyâs pulse thunder in his neck.
But he doesnât move. You donât move either.
He doesnât breathe. You donât know if you do.
He watches you. You watch him back.
âDoll?â Bucky practically breathes the question.
You swallow hard. Opening your mouth doesnât help with finding words, so you shut it again. Slowly, you pull your hands away from his face.
But Bucky still doesnât move.
His breath is still broken, his lips still parted, his brows still slightly drawn, stuck somewhere between surprise and something so deep, youâd be falling endlessly.
He is leaning in just the slightest bit, as though his body hasnât quite caught up with his mind, not even realizing he is doing it.
And you hate the way your chest aches at the look in his eyes.
There is so much all at once and the more you stare, the harder it gets.
âIâm sorry,â you mumble, dropping your gaze.
But there is movement in your peripheral.
Steve and Sam are creeping back out of the hallway, lugging something that looks like Buckyâs speaker system from his room.
And god help you, they are still moving at a snailâs pace, their motions so exaggerated, so painfully slow and obvious that you want to scream. You grit your teeth.
Fortunately, Bucky is still just staring at you, stunned.
The two are just about to reach the door, so close to getting through this ridiculous charade, when Samâs end of the box bumps against the shoe shelf.
The sound isnât loud, but itâs enough. Enough for Buckyâs head to instinctively turn toward the noise. Enough for his body to shift just slightly.
Your brain short-circuits.
Like completely.
Totally.
Lacking any sense.
Not only do you pull his face back.
You pull it in.
âKiss me,â you blurt, and itâs not soft, not sweet, not anything carefully planted - itâs desperate, panicked.
Buckyâs whole face just goes wide, pure shock filtering out anything else.
Another bump.
Youâre not sure Bucky even heard it, but your lips crash onto his with urgency.
Bucky freezes.
And when you say freeze, you mean freeze.
Every muscle in his body turns to stone. His hands flex before going rigid, floating in the air. His breath stalls. His spine goes straight, and the grunt he lets out - so low and gravelly, caught deep in his throat - reverberates into your mouth.
But behind him, Steve and Sam go as still. Dead silent.
You can feel them watching, their eyes practically bulging out of their skulls.
For a full few seconds, nothing happens.
But then, there is a shift. You donât see it, but you know it. The way their disbelief turns into something smug - something amused and downright delighted. You feel the way Samâs mouth probably stretches into that toothy and knowing, cocky-ass grin. You feel the way Steve simply looks happy.
You donât pull away.
Instead, you wave one frantic hand behind Buckyâs back, motioning wildly, trying to get them to move.
You open an eye to see them still staring, Steve blinking rapidly, Sam grinning like a fool, nudging Steve.
But then, finally, they start creeping out of the room again.
They are gone now.
Bucky still isnât moving.
Heâs not breathing.
Heâs not reacting.
And the tension stretches so tight, you swear the air could snap in half.
Because this isnât just a distraction anymore.
This isnât just a cover-up.
Your lips are still on Buckyâs.
Your hands are still gripping his face.
And his are trembling where they hover near your knees, as if he wants to touch you, wants to move, but his brain is still struggling to catch up with what is happening.
Then the tension snaps.
Bucky exhales against you.
Itâs not just a breath - itâs a surrender. A sharp and shuddering exhale that stirs against your lips, warm and tentative, as if he is trying to feel what is happening, trying to understand the shape of this moment.
His hands flex and twitch against your legs, but he is hesitant, as if waiting for something, waiting for you to pull back, waiting for this to be some kind of mistake.
But you donât pull back.
You donât want to pull back.
And thatâs when he melts.
He sinks into the kiss, his body softening, folding inward toward you. His fingers slide up your legs, brushing tenderly against the fabric of your pants before settling on your hips, cautious, like he doesnât want to break the moment, doesnât want to take too much.
Then, his lips move. Itâs a slow, searching motion, testing the waters, trying to figure you out. His mouth is warm, his lips so much softer than you imagined. And hell, did you imagine.
He makes a sound - low and unsure, a hum deep in his throat that vibrates against your lips. His movements are careful, almost disbelieving. Like he is afraid this will disappear if he lets himself want it too much.
But then something changes.
Your nails lightly run over his neck, thumbs over his jawline.
And you feel the exact second the hesitation snaps.
He pulls you in.
His hands tighten, fingers digging into your hips, pulling you forward to the edge of the seat, into his chest, his grip growing needy, desperate. He seems to have been starving for this, like something in him has just broken loose.
The kiss turns deeper, heavier, a push and pull of breath and movement. He kisses you with searching urgency, trying to memorize the exact shape of your mouth, the way you feel pressed against him, the way you taste.
His lips part, just for a moment, and then he dares to press in a little more, tilting his head, fitting his mouth more firmly against yours.
He makes another sound - this time rougher, needier - a groan that slips through the space between you.
You can feel the want in the way he kisses you, in the way he angles his head to take more, to taste more, and damn if it does not overwhelm you.
The way his fingers tighten their hold, his thumbs brushing just beneath the hem of your shirt, needing to feel your warmth.
And the way he breathes you in, each exhale shaky, each inhale sharper, like he is drunk on this, on you.
Your hands find purchase in his hair, fingers tangling in the strands at the nape of his neck, and the second you pull just so slightly, he makes a sound.
A gravelly noise that shoots straight through you, heat curling at the base of your spine.
He is kissing you like he canât help it anymore. As if he has been waiting for this exact moment, for you, for so long that heâs past the point of fighting it.
You thought heâd pull away. You thought heâd startle and demand an explanation, eyes sharp with suspicion, voice laced with confusion. But he doesnât.
His lips only press more firmly against yours, his nose sweeping against your cheek, his chest rising and falling unevenly, breathing erratic as if he is just as lost in this as you are.
Your heart is hammering so violently in your chest, you think he must hear it, must feel it where your body is pressed to his. Your hands are slightly trembling, sliding to curl into the fabric of his shirt, holding onto him. Because you have to hold on. You have to anchor before you fall, before you slip too deep into the intoxicating pull of him and lose all sense of self.
But maybe you already have.
Because he is kissing you as though heâs afraid this is a dream, testing the edges of reality with every careful, exploring movement of his tongue and lips.
He tastes like something warm, something safe, something like the orange juice you two have been drinking, something wholly Bucky. Every press of his lips, every brush of his tongue against yours, is stealing a coherent thought from your mind.
This was supposed to be a distraction. This was supposed to be a lie.
But hell, itâs not.
Itâs everything youâve ever wished for.
When you pull away, both breathless and panting, his forehead stays against yours.
Your pulse is so fast, so fluttering, and you know he can feel it, the way it thrums in your chest, in your throat, in the slight tremor of your fingers still curled loosely in his shirt.
His hot and shuddering exhale fans over your lips and itâs maddening how much you want to taste them again, how much you want to fall right back into him.
You open your eyes.
His are already on you, so close, so intent, so devastatingly blue that they donât help at all in trying to regain a healthy breathing rate. There is something in them, something soft and devoted, something awed, like he canât quite believe you are real, that this is real.
A shiver works its way down your spine, leaving goosebumps in its way and Bucky sees it. He feels it. His grin widens, slow and boyish almost, something that makes him look young and light, like something is lifted off his shoulders.
Your name is a breath that leaves his lips with the kind of care reserved for wishes made on falling stars.
It sends another shudder through you, and his grin turns brilliantly wide.
âThat the present you were talkinâ about earlier?â he breathes, voice still hoarse, still dazed.
You huff a laugh, shaking your head. Smiling. Grinning. Like a fool. God, you canât stop. Itâs lifting your cheeks and making you feel giddy in a way you havenât felt in so long.
âNo,â you whisper back, voice airy.
âDonât matter,â Buckyâs voice is full of affection, of something certain. His hands slide up, one cupping your jaw, thumb skimming over your cheek, the other finding the nape of your neck, fingers weaving into your hair. Holding you there. Holding you close. âBest damn present Iâve ever gotten.â
His tone is so sincere, so full of adoration, that your breath turns upside down, and you canât do anything but feel the way butterflies are dancing in your stomach.
Heat floods your face and Buckyâs fingers flex against your skin, his smile turning impossibly brighter.
His eyes are shining with something you donât think youâve ever seen in them before. Itâs breathtaking. Itâs promising. Itâs worshipful.
Itâs everything.
You guess you owe him a little bit of an explanation.
There is guilt pooling in the hesitation before you speak. âBuck?â you start, voice quiet.
âYeah, baby?â he drawls, and the way the new nickname rolls from his tongue so seamlessly makes your next inhale shatter midway, breaking into uneven pieces. You almost feel like choking.
His voice is so full of warmth, so soft, so fond. He is smiling at you and his eyes are sparkling as if youâve just handed him the world. He is kneeling in front of you, patient and content, as though heâs got all the time in the world if it means spending it with you.
Something dizzying rushes through your veins, sparking at the base of your spine. You have to take a moment, a single, shaky pause to shove the giddiness down for later, to not let it explore the wide landscape of your heart and mind.
You clear your throat, shifting slightly in your seat, still at the edge of the armchair. Your chest almost brushing against Buckyâs. âI, uh- I do have something planned for you.â
Bucky is beaming. His amusement spills over into something so brilliant and blinding. His entire face lights up, so open, so full of adoration that it makes a feeling of pure bliss explode in your chest, sending delightful shivers down to your toes and hell, you donât think you can handle it.
âOh, do you?â he muses, dragging the words out slow and teasing. There is something beneath the syrupy sweetness. Something like mischief. His brows raise, eyes glinting, his lips twitch, and you know he is about to be a menace.
Tilting his head, Bucky feigns deep thought, but his eyes stay on you at all times. âWould that involve two idiots tryna sneak around behind my back?â
You blink at him.
Buckyâs grin turns wolfish and he bites his lip to suppress a laugh.
âYou were actinâ all off from the beginning, doll. Knew somethinâ was up,â he states, voice a little softer, until he turns on his playful teasing voice again. âFlawless execution, sweetheart. Didnât notice a damn thing.â
Groaning loudly, you press your hands to your face and Bucky lets the laugh out. Itâs full-bodied and wholehearted. His chest shakes, his shoulders lift, his body tilts into it. And itâs such a good sound, such a lovely sound, so rich and free. It makes your own lips curl despite the frustration of the ruined surprise.
Bucky reaches up to gently pry your hands away from your face. His grip lingers, thumbs tracing over your knuckles, his touch so easy and natural.
His expression gives way to something soft. He bites his lip again, before bringing your hands up and kissing them softly, twinkling bright blue eyes trained on you and the deep flush that spreads along your cheeks.
Perhaps Bucky Barnes finally has a reason to start celebrating his birthday.
âBut oh baby! Your smile.. Felt like warm sunshine after a heavy storm.. Overdose of it, is still not enough for me..â
- Zankhana
3K notes
¡
View notes
Text
my guardian demon sucks at his job (not clickbait)

â look, i accidentally summoned jeonghan from my statistics textbook the day before you met him at the olive garden. â
PAIRING ⸠demon!yoon jeonghan x fem!reader
GENRES ⸠smut, fluff, humor, angst, supernatural, demon au
WARNINGS ⸠not so biblically accurate, profanity, slowburn, found family, inspirations from mythology and h. p. lovecraft, lots of banter, alcohol consumption, sexual tension, teasing, dirty talk, oral (fem. receiving), fingering, palming, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), mc is painfully horny, ft. demon!shua and demon!wonwooÂ
SUMMARY ⸠just when you thought your luck couldnât get any worse, you accidentally manage to summon an ancient demon prince named jeonghan out of a scrap of paper from your statistics textbook. now, youâre tasked with figuring out how to return your so-called âguardian demonâ back to where he came from before he can stir up more trouble.
PLAYLIST ⸠our dawn is hotter than day by seventeen ⢠cruel summer by taylor swift
WORD COUNT ⸠23,610 words
TAG LIST ⸠@byunfirstladyâ @90s-belladonnaâ @knucklesdeepmingiâ @xlovetteâ @variety-is-the-joy-of-lifeâ @hatesbutlovespeople7734â @goquokkaâ
AUTHORâS NOTE ⸠i had so much fun writing this so i hope you guys enjoy this one!! thank you so much for supporting my works ⥠lmk what u think!

TO BE FAIR, YOU REALLY DIDNâT EXPECT THE SPELL TO WORK.
You initially thought the scrap of paper you found in your statistics textbook was someoneâs torn-up Latin homework. You borrowed the copy from the library earlier in the day, realizing that the only way you would pass your midterm would be if you actually studied. Wedged between the pages of Chapter Three - Linear Regression was the dubious piece of paper. Â
You thought nothing of it at first. You turned a blind eye to how it was yellowed due to age, thinking it was just left behind by accident. It didnât even cross your mind about how strange it was that someone left their Latin homework in a statistics textbook.
There was no real reason why you read the words aloud. You thought it could act as some sort of good luck charmâsomething that could manifest good grades on your examsâbut you ended up with the exact opposite.
The paper started glowing, but it wasnât bright light; a void of pitch darkness emitted from the scrap instead. Mind you, it was nearly the middle of the night. It was already dark, but your room was starting to look like you had opened up a schism in space.
You dropped the paper in the middle of the room instinctively, hissing lightly at how it nearly froze your fingers off. Your roomâs temperature dropped by several degrees, and if you werenât internally freaking out about the random black hole in the middle of your room, you would have curled up in your blankets.
This was one hell of a karmic retribution for slacking on your work for half the semester.
Keep reading
7K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Supposed Distraction

Pairing: College!Athlete!Bucky x College!Reader
Summary: Itâs Buckyâs birthday and you and your friends are planning a surprise party. That leaves you with the task to distract him while the others prepare.
Prompt 1: âI think we need to talk.â
Prompt 2: âI donât owe you an explanation.â
Prompt 3: âKiss me.â
Word Count: 7.6k
Warnings: friends to lovers; reader is embarrassed and rather terrible at attempting to distract Bucky; Bucky is smug; Bucky is worried; Sam and Steve are idiots; feels; pining; tension; Bucky is a sweetheart
Authorâs Note: This is another entry for the lovely cinema themed writing challenge by @elixirfromthestars ⥠I hope youâre not getting tired of me participating, my dear, but I couldnât help it. Especially since you were the one inspiring me to write this about college!bucky. I'll have to thank you for that!! Hope you enjoy! âĄ
Masterlist
You always knock four times.
Itâs instinctive at this point, muscle memory more than conscious thought. You donât even remember when or how it started, but it's always fours knocks.
The door swings open within seconds, revealing Buckyâs easy and bright grin. He leans against the frame, arms crossed over his broad chest, hair slightly tousled, perhaps from running his hands through it. God, he looks great.
âHey, doll,â he greets, voice warm. âYouâre early.â
You arch a brow, stepping past him when he shifts to let you in. âItâs your birthday, Buck. What kind of friend would I be if I left you alone, huh?â
Bucky exhales a short sigh, but his smile stays in place. âTold you, itâs not a big deal.â
ââCourse it is, Buck,â you argue, almost indignant at the thought. Because if anyone deserves a day where people get to celebrate him, itâs James Buchanan Barnes.
But he doesnât make much of his birthday. He doesnât like attention when he hasnât earned it.
Itâs why he loves the mound, standing there under stadium lights with all eyes on him, but loathes things like this - birthdays, personal praise, anything that forces him into a spotlight just for existing. You suppose thatâs just part of who he is.
You saw him earlier, in university. You shared one class today. He walked in a few minutes late, baseball cap pulled low, backpack slung lazily over one shoulder.
You had been waiting for him, barely able to contain your excitement as you nearly launched yourself at him in the hallway with a cheerful happy birthday, Bucky!
He had only blinked, slightly startled at your enthusiasm before huffing out a laugh when you crushed him in a tight hug. But he hadnât complained, only chuckled softly, winding his arms around you and pressing his hands to your back, waiting for you to be the first to pull away again.
You told him he'd receive his present later the day with a grin and Bucky only rolled his eyes with a fond smile, letting you have your moment.
But what Bucky doesnât know is that there is a surprise party awaiting him later, planned by you and your shared group of friends - because somebody has to make sure that today doesnât pass like it is just another day.
Samâs apartment is the only logical choice, given that his roommate dropped out and no one had rushed to fill the space yet. That means lots of room, plus an open invitation to make a mess.
The only issue is that Samâs apartment is directly across the hall from Bucky and Steveâs.
Which means you have been assigned a very specific task - keep Bucky in his apartment until itâs time.
Not that you had much say in the matter. The moment the question came up about who would be the one distracting him that long, every pair of eyes landed on you.
You are his best friend, but - and thatâs how you see it - so is everyone else. Still, they seemed to believe that you could hold his attention for long enough, that you could keep him engaged enough not to notice the shuffle of footsteps and suspicious voices beyond his door. That it would be you who he doesnât mind having around, lingering in his space.
Honestly, you didnât argue.
There is not a reason as to why you should. Any excuse to spend time with Bucky is a good one.
After all, you love the guy. But thatâs a problem for another day.
You drop your bag on the worn-out armchair by the window, the same spot you always claim when you are here.
Buckyâs jacket is slung over the back of the chair, and the second your bag lands on it, the scent of his cologne drifts up - clean, something woodsy, something him. It distracts you for a second, but then you turn to face him again.
He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans after closing the door again.
âWhereâs Steve?â you ask casually, like you donât already know he is across the hall, making sure everything is set up for the surprise. But you donât know what he told Bucky.
âHe said somethinâ about running some drills with the rookies, helping out the coach, or whatever,â Bucky answers, tilting his head in that unconcerned way. He slowly makes his way toward you. âGuess one of them nearly took his own damn head off trying to hit a curveball.â
One of your brows lifts amused. âAnd Steveâs the guy to fix that?â
Bucky smirks. âWell, yâknow how he is. Someone fucks up a throw, suddenly heâs gotta be the one to teach âem how to do it right.â He shakes his head, like the whole thing is ridiculous.
âYeah, sounds like Steve,â you state, trying to suppress a knowing smile.
You lean your hip against the kitchen counter, arms loosely crossed, trying to keep it casual. The apartment is small, with the kitchen bleeding into the living space, a single couch, and a coffee table taking up a lot of the room. You love it.
âSo, what do you feel like doing?â You tip your head toward him. âYouâre the birthday boy, you get to decide.â
Bucky scoffs, lips curling, finding your antics amusing. But then, he actually seems to consider it. His hands slip from his pockets, arms crossing as he leans back slightly against the table. His gaze falls to the window. Sunlight spills in, casting golden lines across the floor and making your hair gleam.
âYou wanna go get some ice cream or somethinâ?â he suggests. âItâs warm out.â
You blink, caught off guard. Bucky isnât usually the one to propose going out. It takes a little coaxing most days, a push to get him moving and leave his apartment to meet your group of friends somewhere outside. You wonder what he would have said if anyone else were the one distracting him.
But you canât take him up on it. Because you canât let him leave and potentially find out.
âUh-no,â you say, a little too quickly, a little too firmly.
Buckyâs brows lift, a smirk tugging at the edge of his mouth. âNo?â He huffs a laugh, shifting his weight onto one foot, arms still folded. His voice takes on that slow, teasing drawl. âYou just asked me what I wanna do, doll. Thought I got to decide? Yâknow, birthday and all that.â
You just started this distracting thing and you are already messing up. Great.
You scramble for a way to walk it back, to keep him here without making it obvious. âYeah, you know, I just-â You glance around as if the answer is hidden somewhere in the room. âWhy donât we stay inside?â
Bucky watches you, eyes narrowing just slightly, trying to puzzle you out. He doesnât look suspicious. But there is a curiosity in it.
âWhy?â he drags the word out, tilting his head. âSomething wrong with ice cream? We could also go get some tacos maybe-â
âNo! Nothingâs wrong with ice cream.â You force a laugh, waving your hand dismissively. âI just figured we could chill here for a bit.â You bite your lip, then continue. âWe could bake you a cake?â
You would love to face-palm yourself right now.
Why would you even say that?
There will be plenty of cake at the party. Cake thatâs already been ordered, picked out, baked yourself, and waiting across the hall. And yet, here you are, offering something completely unnecessary, completely ridiculous.
God, you are terrible at this.
Buckyâs blue eyes are on you, considering, lips parting, about to say something.
Panic rises.
âOr not,â you blurt, stepping forward too fast, too sudden, hands coming up in a vague, dismissive gesture. âYeah, maybe not. Thatâs dumb. Forget I said anything.â
You shift where you stand, fingers twitching at your sides. You donât get nervous around Bucky - at least, not like this. But something hot and uncomfortable starts to creep up the back of your neck.
A slow smirk pulls at Buckyâs mouth as he watches you with so much amusement in his eyes, enjoying whatever the hell this is turning into.
âYou alright over there, doll?â he asks, voice warm, teasing.
You scoff, rolling your eyes, trying to keep your cool. âYeah, Iâm fine.â
âYou sure?â He tilts his head, a lock of dark hair falling into his eyes. âCause youâre actinâ a little funny.â
You open your mouth, a retort or something like it ready, but Bucky suddenly leans in just a fraction, gaze sweeping over your face like he is searching for something. And yeah shit, you need to shut this down. Now. Or youâll be a hot mess on the floor.
âJust forget it.â You shrug and then move away from him, toward the fridge, suddenly very interested in whateverâs inside. âYou want something to drink?â
You donât look back at him immediately, donât give him a chance to see the way you feel your face warm up. Instead, you grab two small bottles of orange juice, shoving one in his direction as a distraction.
Bucky takes it easily, but that amused smirk does not waver a tiny bit. He is still watching you.
Bucky is no idiot. And if youâre not careful, heâs going to catch on fast.
You twist the cap of the bottle a little forcefully, the plastic groaning in your grip. The cold of it seeps into your palm, but itâs not enough to steady the way your heart is beating a little too fast. Taking a sip of the juice, you try to swallow past the lump in your throat.
He has always been observant. Even more so when it comes to you. You wish, just this once, that he'd be a little more dense.
âYou gonna tell me whatâs up with you today?â he asks, voice colored with curiosity, dipping just enough into concern that you flinch internally.
âI donât owe you an explanation.â
Itâs defensive, but all it does is amuse him. His lips curve, his brows shoot high, the lines on his forehead creasing in exaggerated surprise.
Leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest, his own bottle loosely held in one hand, he tips his head back and studies you. âThat how weâre playinâ it, huh?â
You shrug, taking another sip of your juice, using the movement as an excuse to break eye contact. But you know it does not deter him.
Bucky makes a thoughtful noise, shifting his weight. âYâknow,â he drones out, tone lazy but eyes sharp and smirk sly. âUsually when people get all cagey like this, it means theyâre hidinâ something.â
You shoot him a hopefully flat look. âWow, Barnes. Thatâs some real detective work. You want to get a notepad? Maybe a magnifying glass?â
His smirk widens. He seems thoroughly entertained. You donât like it.
âDepends,â he teases, leaning in just a fraction. âDo I need âem?â
Your pulse spikes. Bastard.
With an obvious eye roll that unfortunately lacks the conviction you tried to portray, you cross the room, shoulders set, and let yourself drop into the armchair where your bag still rests with a heavy thud. The cushions soften the impact. Trying to feign the usual comfort you feel sitting here, you tuck one leg under the other, leaning back. Your hands tighten around the still cold bottle of juice.
Bucky doesnât move right away. He is still standing by the counter, bottle in hand, eyes never leaving you.
âDo you want to watch something?â you ask, reaching for the remote, already trying to steer this back into safe waters.
Bucky exhales through his nose, humor lining the corners of his eyes. His stance is easy and relaxed, but he looks at you like he knows something is off.
âIs this me deciding?â he muses, voice smooth. âOr are you just gonna tell me no again?â
There is no accusation in his tone, just that familiar Brooklyn drawl that makes everything sound like an inside joke.
He finally moves, dragging his body toward the couch. He doesnât plop down like you did. He settles himself with intent and leans forward slightly, elbows resting on his knees, his entire focus trained on you like you are the most interesting thing in the room.
You swallow.
âYouâll get to decide,â you promise, trying for nonchalance.
Bucky glances at the dark TV screen, then back at you.
âNah,â he claims. âLetâs talk.â
Your stomach drops.
Bucky never lets things go when he is curious. You see the spark in his eyes, the glint of amusement, the way the corners of his mouth twitch with that smirk. He knows you are acting weird. Maybe he doesnât know why, but he sure as hell knows something is up and he is going to dig.
You inhale deeply, fighting the urge to groan. But all you do is force a casual shrug, stretching your arms over your head before letting them drop back into your lap. âWhat do you want to talk about?â
Your fingers fidget with the label on the bottle, a nervous little movement you donât mean to make. Buckyâs gaze flickers down to your hands and you freeze, immediately stilling them, letting the bottle rest in your lap and shoving your hands between your thighs.
His eyes snap back to yours, lips curving up.
âYou,â he says simply.
You roll your eyes, feigning playful annoyance, because if you donât, you might actually combust on the spot. âOh, come on,â you scoff.
For the next few minutes, you actually manage to let a conversation drift to normal things. The familiar back-and-forth. You talk about classes, you being annoyed at that one professor who has a habit of trailing off mid-lecture, forgetting what he is actually supposed to talk about. Bucky tells you about his brutal morning training session that left half the team groaning like old men.
You bring up his next baseball game, the one you wonât be able to make because of an assignment, and Bucky whines.
He doesnât just complain a little but rather goes on about it for minutes on end. Arms flailing, huffing dramatically, groaning like you just told him his dog died.
âYou could just skip,â he protests, lounging back into the couch.
âI canât just skip, Bucky.â
âBut I need my lucky charm,â he laments, throwing his head back against the cushion as if this is some great tragedy.
You roll your eyes but there is warmth rising in your chest. âIâm sorry, Buck. But I did come to all your games last month.â
âYeah, which is why you owe me,â Bucky retorts, sitting up again, gesturing with his hands. âI hit a homer 'cause you were there. What if I suck without you?â
âIâm sure youâll survive,â you laugh, but Bucky grumbles under his breath, not quite over it.
It starts to feel normal. Easy. You begin to believe that you might actually pull this off. That you can keep him here, keep him occupied, long enough for your friends across the hall to finish setting up.
But then a loud thump echoes from the hallway.
Your spine goes rigid.
Buckyâs head snaps up, his grin replaced with a furrowed brow.
Another thud.
Yeah, so, that was that.
You fumble for your phone and type out a quick text to Sam.
Y: What are you guys doing out there?
The reply comes almost immediately.
S: Just keep Barnes inside.
You would love to curse loudly right now. Because thank you for nothing, Sam.
Bucky is already standing.
âWhat are you doing?â you ask, standing up as well, your voice perhaps a little sharper than usual.
Bucky glances at you briefly. There is a tiny bit of concern in his eyes. âThereâs something goinâ on out there.â He gestures toward the door. âThink I should check. Might be Miss Nelly.â
Something clenches in your gut.
Miss Nelly, the sweet older woman who lives next door to him and Steve. The one they always help carry groceries up the stairs. The one who has trouble with her hip sometimes. If Bucky thinks she might have fallen, or perhaps tried to carry something on her own, of course, he wants to check.
But that is not what is happening out there.
You rush to step between him and the door. âLet me check.â
Bucky shakes his head. âYou wait here, doll. Iâll be back in a sec-â
But you donât let him finish.
You throw the door open and basically slam it shut behind you before he can follow.
Yes, that was perhaps a little rude. Yes, that will probably only make him more suspicious. Yes, you could have come up with something better. But you certainly did not have the time to think about what exactly.
Right outside, Sam and Steve are standing there - in front of the open door to Sam's apartment where a chair lays with its backside on the floor - wide-eyed, looking about as guilty as two kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
You would have laughed at the sight if not for the fact that you just slammed Buckyâs own apartment door basically in his face without an explanation.
âWhat the hell are you guys doing?â you hiss, voice low, exasperated.
Sam lifts his hands in a calm down gesture. âListen-â
âNo, you listen,â you snap, whisper-shouting, barely resisting the urge to grab them by their collars and shake them. âHeâs two seconds away from walking out that door.â
Steve grimaces, rubbing the back of his neck. âWe, uh, we miscalculated.â
âMiscalculated?â you repeat, eyes narrowing.
They both exchange a glance.
You sigh in frustration. âWhereâs Nat?â
âOut with Bruce getting drinks,â Steve answers, folding his arms. âWanda, Clint, and Laura are inside, decorating.â
âLook,â Sam starts, raising a brow. âWeâre bustinâ our asses for this dickhead, and youâre the one who came up with the whole thing in the first place.â
âThatâs not-â
âSo you gotta do your part. Go back in and stall him some moreâ A grin spreads across his face and he waggles his eyebrows suggestively. âI donât know - offer him a good time.â
Your eyes narrow, hands on your hips. âSam.â
Steve sighs, shaking his head, but there is an unmistakable smirk tugging at his lips.
You glare at them both, spinning on your heel before they can make this worse, yanking the door open and stepping back inside the apartment.
Bucky is exactly where you left him.
Arms crossed. Eyebrows raised. Lips parted slightly, caught between confusion and suspicion.
He is wearing that what the hell was that expression.
You swallow and shut the door more forcefully than necessary, the sound echoing slightly.
Bucky doesnât move. Doesnât blink. Just fixes you with a stare so focused, so piecing, seemingly able to look right through you. It makes you shift where you stand, suddenly hyper-aware of every nervous tick in your body.
âAlright,â he starts slowly, carefully, eyes falling to the door before turning back to you. âWhatâs goinâ on?â
âNot Miss Nelly,â you quip, attempting a light and assuring tone.
It does not work.
Bucky still doesnât blink. His jaw works. He doesnât buy a damn thing youâre trying to sell him.
âNo, doll.â His voice is lower now, thoughtful, putting together a puzzle in his head. âWhatâs going on with you?â
You try to press down the lump in your throat.
âYouâre actinâ real weird.â His words arenât harsh, not even accusing. Just observant.
He cocks his head slightly.
Why did the others think you could withstand the way his eyes root you to the spot without flopping down to the ground as a puddle.
You are so screwed.
You push yourself out of the conversation, walking over to the armchair again and trying to find something to keep you busy while plopping down.
âItâs nothing, Bucky.â
Your fingers curl around the juice bottle, bringing it to your lips, but the cold liquid doesnât do much to cool the heat crawling up your spine. Your thumb works at the label, picking at the paper until it peels away in small, curling strips.
Bucky blows out a breath, rubbing a hand down his face before slowly making his way over to you.
Crouching in front of you, he braces his forearms on his knees, his eyes intently locked onto you.
The sudden closeness forces you to suck in a breath and your fingers tighten around the bottle in your hands.
His expression shifts again, humor creeping into the smirk on his mouth. âDoll,â he starts, voice light, amused. His hands slide up to rest on either side of your chair, effectively caging you in. âDid you plan somethinâ for me?â
Shit.
Your next inhale is a little hesitant. The air thickens. âNo.â It sounds too stiff.
Bucky raises an eyebrow. He is smirking so wide. Enjoying this so much, the way you squirm in your seat before him.
You push forward, shaking your head. âNo, Buck. I did not.â
âYou sure?â He almost laughs.
âYes, I just-â You are floundering, drowning in your own words. How can you save this now?
âIâm nervous.â Well, at least thatâs not a lie.
Buckyâs expression softens immediately, his amusement fading into something quieter. He straightens up, tilting his head tenderly. His full attention is on you.
A gentle crease in his brows forms. âWhy are you nervous, sweetheart?â His voice is softer now, lower.
And guilt hits you.
How do you get out of this?
But, hell, he is so close, too close. His eyes are so blue, too blue. His gaze is so intense, too intense. You are feeling hot, too hot - your brain isnât working, itâs overheating, and your mouth is suddenly moving.
âBecause.â Shut up, shut up, shut up. âBecause I think we need to talk.â
Oh, for fuckâs sake.
The entirety of Bucky shifts and you just want the ground to eat you up right this second.
Because now he looks so worried. So genuinely concerned.
You feel yourself start to sweat. Where is this going? Why canât you stop this? Why did you even start it?
Buckyâs face drops to a frown so deep, lines are forming. A hand of his moves, palm landing lightly on your knee.
âWe can talk, doll.â His voice is even softer now, barely above a murmur. âIs something wrong? You alright?â
You just stare at him.
Your heart is hammering.
What the hell are you doing?
Your teeth sink into your bottom lip as your fingers keep worrying at the torn label, peeling off strips that crumple beneath your fingertips. Itâs the only thing you want to focus on right now with Buckyâs proximity and his intense gaze.
But then his hands replace the bottle and he grasps your fingers, wrapping around them and stilling their fidgeting.
Something electric rushes through your veins so quickly, you couldnât catch it if you tried.
This is getting way too serious.
Too intimate in a way that sends your pulse skittering up your throat.
You feel like a deer caught in headlights, your body tensing up, lungs forgetting how to work properly. Because this is veering dangerously off course, heading straight for a conversation youâre not sure youâre ready to have. You never thought youâd ever be ready.
But you started this. You walked straight into it with your own words, and there is no backing out now. So you might as well be honest now.
No time like the present.
Bucky must feel the way your hands begin to tremble in his hold, because he adjusts again, shifting closer, his knees pressing against the base of your chair. His thumbs trace over the backs of your hands. His frown deepens.
Why does he have to be so worried? It would make things so much easier if he remained casual and easy. But really, thatâs how Bucky always is. Worrying so fast when it comes to you. You canât really blame this on him now, can you?
His voice drops lower, soft as a whisper. âWhat is it, sweetheart?â His eyes are full and searching. âTalk to me.â
Air hitches, stalling between your ribs before pushing forward in a rather trembling exhale. Your lungs barely feel full. Your eyes dart away from his, searching the room, the floor, anywhere but him.
âDid I upset you? Is it something I did-â
âNo!â you rush out, hastily. âNo, you didnât do anything, Buck.â God, now he even goes that far. This is bad.
Bucky softens a tiny fraction, but he keeps sweeping his eyes over your face, latching on the details, trying to study you, trying to read what this is about. âYou can tell me, doll. Always. Whatever it is,â he coos so sweetly, and it makes you want to cry.
How do you even start this?
You open your mouth. Youâre certainly not ready to climb the whole mountain, but perhaps you can try a small hill.
âDo you-â You swallow, trying to sound as if you are simply reminiscing. âDo you remember that time after your game last year when it started pouring the second we left the stadium?â
Bucky blinks at the sudden turn. Confusion enters his features but the worry only deepens. âWhat?â
You push forward, gaze fixed on the arm of your chair as if it might give you the courage you need. âYou gave me your jersey, even though I already had a jacket and you were the one soaking wet-â
Buckyâs brows pull further together, his head shaking slowly, not knowing what to do with your words. âDoll-â
âYou walked me all the way back to my apartment.â Your voice turns quieter as if you are speaking more to yourself than him. Perhaps you are. Saying those things out loud makes them seem so much more important. âAnd then you got sick for three days.â
His hands squeeze yours gently. âI mean- Yeah, I remember.â Confusion also settles in his tone. âBut whatâs that got to do with-â
âI donât know,â you cut in quickly. âI just-â You exhale a deep sigh. âI think about that a lot.â
Bucky says your name like it is something delicate. Something that might slip away if he is not careful.
âLook at me, please.â
You try, but itâs hard.
It means staring into those impossibly blue eyes that see too much, that strip you bare without even trying, that try to coax something out of you, you didnât even plan on letting go.
But you force yourself to lift your gaze and it is worse than you expected.
He is watching you with an intensity that makes you stop breathing. His stormy eyes are so full of concern, so desperate to understand what is going on in your head, searching every inch of your face.
His lips are parted slightly. His breathing is sharper. Uneven.
âWhatâs going on, hm?â he coaxes, so softly, so full of patience you donât deserve. âWhatâs this about? You still feelinâ guilty?â
Your heart plummets like a stone.
âDoll, thereâs no need to, alright?â His hands squeeze yours, grounding, reassuring. âWe talked about this.â
God, why does he have to be so good?
His voice is so warm. Warm like sunlight, like home. It makes the sting behind your eyes grow stronger.
You donât want to cry.
You donât want to feel this way. Donât want to ruin his fucking birthday like this. This is getting so out of hand right now, but what should you do? You are so tangled up in trying to figure out what to say, things you are too much of a coward to finally admit out loud.
Bucky notices your struggles. He sees them. Plain on your face. His thumbs brush over your skin in careful strokes. âAnd you took such good care of me.â His tone lightens, trying to pull you out of whatever hole youâre sinking into. âRemember that part?â
You nod, swallowing and swallowing but the clump of emotions stays stuck in your throat. âYeah.â Your voice comes out flat, like you are detached from it. âI do. Sorry for bringing it up.â
Buckyâs lips press together, and then he sighs so deeply, his chest rises and falls profoundly.
âDoll,â he murmurs, straightening up, arms beside you tensing as though he is holding himself back from doing something. âThatâs not what you wanted to talk about.â
Heâs right.
âDarlinâ, please,â he urges, and god, the way that word falls from his lips makes you shudder. His voice is barely above a whisper now, full of something genuine, something tender, something that makes him sound like he wishes you would just talk to him, and it makes you want to shrink down to something he canât see anymore. âWhat is it?â
You could lie. Again.
You could laugh it off, steer the conversation away, keep pretending.
You could drag this out further until the others are ready, leaving him worried and slightly upset.
You could tell him the truth about the party.
Or you could finally come clean about the feelings you have held in your heart for so long. Feelings for your best friend.
Drawing in a breath, you straighten slightly. Your hands, still held in his, still shaking, squeeze back. His eyes never waver from your face, tracing the contours of your features.
You clear your throat, but it doesnât help much. âUhm,â you croak. âI- I wanted- I need to tell you something.â
His fingers twitch around yours. His features fall into a deep concentration. He doesnât rush you. Just watches. Waits.
And god, his eyes are pools you never learned to swim in.
You look away, at the wall behind him. âIâve been wanting to tell you this for a while now, I guess. But-â You inhale a quivering breath. âBut I was afraid. Because I donât know how youâll react.â
Bucky doesnât move. Doesnât blink. His chest rises and falls deeply, almost mechanically. There is something almost spellbound in the way he stares at you, completely locked in, completely yours. The only sign that he has heard you is the subtle press of his fingers against yours.
His head dips in a nod for you to go on.
You wet your lips. âI, uhm-â
But then something catches your attention.
The door to Buckyâs and Steveâs apartment opens.
Painstakingly slow.
You stiffen.
Bucky is still so enamored with what you were saying, he doesnât seem to notice at first. His back is to the door.
You see heads peeking through the small gap, cautious, bodies frozen in an awkward crouch as if that makes them less noticeable.
Steve and Sam.
They are trying to slip in without a sound, their movements so unbelievably slow, exaggerated. They resemble cartoon characters sneaking through a heist.
Sam motions at you wildly, gesturing at Bucky, at himself, at the hallway, mouthing something like distract him! Keep him busy.
They almost make it, but Bucky catches the small reaction of you, the surprise. His senses are too tuned in to every little thing about you and with his brows knit together, he shifts to glance over his shoulder.
You donât think about anything.
Your hands rip from his, and before he can turn fully, before he can see those two idiots, you grab his face.
Bucky jolts, startled, his breath hitching audibly. His skin is warm beneath your palms, the sharp angle of his jaw fitting perfectly against your hands. His wide eyes snap back to you, dumbfounded, searching.
He blinks at you. Then blinks again. Then simply stares.
His lips part slightly, breath brushing over your skin.
Your heart slams against your ribs.
This is close. Too close. Closer than youâve ever been. Well, but not closer than youâve let yourself imagine. But having him here in reality is something else entirely.
Sam throws you a thumbs up over Buckyâs head and a wiggle of his brows and the both of them disappear from sight into the hallway.
But you just made this worse.
And you are still holding his face between your hands.
Buckyâs lashes flicker, but he doesnât pull away. Doesnât fight it. Just stares at you like youâve done something earth-shattering, like youâve just rewritten every unspoken rule between you in a single, desperate motion.
Your pulse is a drum against your throat.
You see Buckyâs pulse thunder in his neck.
But he doesnât move. You donât move either.
He doesnât breathe. You donât know if you do.
He watches you. You watch him back.
âDoll?â Bucky practically breathes the question.
You swallow hard. Opening your mouth doesnât help with finding words, so you shut it again. Slowly, you pull your hands away from his face.
But Bucky still doesnât move.
His breath is still broken, his lips still parted, his brows still slightly drawn, stuck somewhere between surprise and something so deep, youâd be falling endlessly.
He is leaning in just the slightest bit, as though his body hasnât quite caught up with his mind, not even realizing he is doing it.
And you hate the way your chest aches at the look in his eyes.
There is so much all at once and the more you stare, the harder it gets.
âIâm sorry,â you mumble, dropping your gaze.
But there is movement in your peripheral.
Steve and Sam are creeping back out of the hallway, lugging something that looks like Buckyâs speaker system from his room.
And god help you, they are still moving at a snailâs pace, their motions so exaggerated, so painfully slow and obvious that you want to scream. You grit your teeth.
Fortunately, Bucky is still just staring at you, stunned.
The two are just about to reach the door, so close to getting through this ridiculous charade, when Samâs end of the box bumps against the shoe shelf.
The sound isnât loud, but itâs enough. Enough for Buckyâs head to instinctively turn toward the noise. Enough for his body to shift just slightly.
Your brain short-circuits.
Like completely.
Totally.
Lacking any sense.
Not only do you pull his face back.
You pull it in.
âKiss me,â you blurt, and itâs not soft, not sweet, not anything carefully planted - itâs desperate, panicked.
Buckyâs whole face just goes wide, pure shock filtering out anything else.
Another bump.
Youâre not sure Bucky even heard it, but your lips crash onto his with urgency.
Bucky freezes.
And when you say freeze, you mean freeze.
Every muscle in his body turns to stone. His hands flex before going rigid, floating in the air. His breath stalls. His spine goes straight, and the grunt he lets out - so low and gravelly, caught deep in his throat - reverberates into your mouth.
But behind him, Steve and Sam go as still. Dead silent.
You can feel them watching, their eyes practically bulging out of their skulls.
For a full few seconds, nothing happens.
But then, there is a shift. You donât see it, but you know it. The way their disbelief turns into something smug - something amused and downright delighted. You feel the way Samâs mouth probably stretches into that toothy and knowing, cocky-ass grin. You feel the way Steve simply looks happy.
You donât pull away.
Instead, you wave one frantic hand behind Buckyâs back, motioning wildly, trying to get them to move.
You open an eye to see them still staring, Steve blinking rapidly, Sam grinning like a fool, nudging Steve.
But then, finally, they start creeping out of the room again.
They are gone now.
Bucky still isnât moving.
Heâs not breathing.
Heâs not reacting.
And the tension stretches so tight, you swear the air could snap in half.
Because this isnât just a distraction anymore.
This isnât just a cover-up.
Your lips are still on Buckyâs.
Your hands are still gripping his face.
And his are trembling where they hover near your knees, as if he wants to touch you, wants to move, but his brain is still struggling to catch up with what is happening.
Then the tension snaps.
Bucky exhales against you.
Itâs not just a breath - itâs a surrender. A sharp and shuddering exhale that stirs against your lips, warm and tentative, as if he is trying to feel what is happening, trying to understand the shape of this moment.
His hands flex and twitch against your legs, but he is hesitant, as if waiting for something, waiting for you to pull back, waiting for this to be some kind of mistake.
But you donât pull back.
You donât want to pull back.
And thatâs when he melts.
He sinks into the kiss, his body softening, folding inward toward you. His fingers slide up your legs, brushing tenderly against the fabric of your pants before settling on your hips, cautious, like he doesnât want to break the moment, doesnât want to take too much.
Then, his lips move. Itâs a slow, searching motion, testing the waters, trying to figure you out. His mouth is warm, his lips so much softer than you imagined. And hell, did you imagine.
He makes a sound - low and unsure, a hum deep in his throat that vibrates against your lips. His movements are careful, almost disbelieving. Like he is afraid this will disappear if he lets himself want it too much.
But then something changes.
Your nails lightly run over his neck, thumbs over his jawline.
And you feel the exact second the hesitation snaps.
He pulls you in.
His hands tighten, fingers digging into your hips, pulling you forward to the edge of the seat, into his chest, his grip growing needy, desperate. He seems to have been starving for this, like something in him has just broken loose.
The kiss turns deeper, heavier, a push and pull of breath and movement. He kisses you with searching urgency, trying to memorize the exact shape of your mouth, the way you feel pressed against him, the way you taste.
His lips part, just for a moment, and then he dares to press in a little more, tilting his head, fitting his mouth more firmly against yours.
He makes another sound - this time rougher, needier - a groan that slips through the space between you.
You can feel the want in the way he kisses you, in the way he angles his head to take more, to taste more, and damn if it does not overwhelm you.
The way his fingers tighten their hold, his thumbs brushing just beneath the hem of your shirt, needing to feel your warmth.
And the way he breathes you in, each exhale shaky, each inhale sharper, like he is drunk on this, on you.
Your hands find purchase in his hair, fingers tangling in the strands at the nape of his neck, and the second you pull just so slightly, he makes a sound.
A gravelly noise that shoots straight through you, heat curling at the base of your spine.
He is kissing you like he canât help it anymore. As if he has been waiting for this exact moment, for you, for so long that heâs past the point of fighting it.
You thought heâd pull away. You thought heâd startle and demand an explanation, eyes sharp with suspicion, voice laced with confusion. But he doesnât.
His lips only press more firmly against yours, his nose sweeping against your cheek, his chest rising and falling unevenly, breathing erratic as if he is just as lost in this as you are.
Your heart is hammering so violently in your chest, you think he must hear it, must feel it where your body is pressed to his. Your hands are slightly trembling, sliding to curl into the fabric of his shirt, holding onto him. Because you have to hold on. You have to anchor before you fall, before you slip too deep into the intoxicating pull of him and lose all sense of self.
But maybe you already have.
Because he is kissing you as though heâs afraid this is a dream, testing the edges of reality with every careful, exploring movement of his tongue and lips.
He tastes like something warm, something safe, something like the orange juice you two have been drinking, something wholly Bucky. Every press of his lips, every brush of his tongue against yours, is stealing a coherent thought from your mind.
This was supposed to be a distraction. This was supposed to be a lie.
But hell, itâs not.
Itâs everything youâve ever wished for.
When you pull away, both breathless and panting, his forehead stays against yours.
Your pulse is so fast, so fluttering, and you know he can feel it, the way it thrums in your chest, in your throat, in the slight tremor of your fingers still curled loosely in his shirt.
His hot and shuddering exhale fans over your lips and itâs maddening how much you want to taste them again, how much you want to fall right back into him.
You open your eyes.
His are already on you, so close, so intent, so devastatingly blue that they donât help at all in trying to regain a healthy breathing rate. There is something in them, something soft and devoted, something awed, like he canât quite believe you are real, that this is real.
A shiver works its way down your spine, leaving goosebumps in its way and Bucky sees it. He feels it. His grin widens, slow and boyish almost, something that makes him look young and light, like something is lifted off his shoulders.
Your name is a breath that leaves his lips with the kind of care reserved for wishes made on falling stars.
It sends another shudder through you, and his grin turns brilliantly wide.
âThat the present you were talkinâ about earlier?â he breathes, voice still hoarse, still dazed.
You huff a laugh, shaking your head. Smiling. Grinning. Like a fool. God, you canât stop. Itâs lifting your cheeks and making you feel giddy in a way you havenât felt in so long.
âNo,â you whisper back, voice airy.
âDonât matter,â Buckyâs voice is full of affection, of something certain. His hands slide up, one cupping your jaw, thumb skimming over your cheek, the other finding the nape of your neck, fingers weaving into your hair. Holding you there. Holding you close. âBest damn present Iâve ever gotten.â
His tone is so sincere, so full of adoration, that your breath turns upside down, and you canât do anything but feel the way butterflies are dancing in your stomach.
Heat floods your face and Buckyâs fingers flex against your skin, his smile turning impossibly brighter.
His eyes are shining with something you donât think youâve ever seen in them before. Itâs breathtaking. Itâs promising. Itâs worshipful.
Itâs everything.
You guess you owe him a little bit of an explanation.
There is guilt pooling in the hesitation before you speak. âBuck?â you start, voice quiet.
âYeah, baby?â he drawls, and the way the new nickname rolls from his tongue so seamlessly makes your next inhale shatter midway, breaking into uneven pieces. You almost feel like choking.
His voice is so full of warmth, so soft, so fond. He is smiling at you and his eyes are sparkling as if youâve just handed him the world. He is kneeling in front of you, patient and content, as though heâs got all the time in the world if it means spending it with you.
Something dizzying rushes through your veins, sparking at the base of your spine. You have to take a moment, a single, shaky pause to shove the giddiness down for later, to not let it explore the wide landscape of your heart and mind.
You clear your throat, shifting slightly in your seat, still at the edge of the armchair. Your chest almost brushing against Buckyâs. âI, uh- I do have something planned for you.â
Bucky is beaming. His amusement spills over into something so brilliant and blinding. His entire face lights up, so open, so full of adoration that it makes a feeling of pure bliss explode in your chest, sending delightful shivers down to your toes and hell, you donât think you can handle it.
âOh, do you?â he muses, dragging the words out slow and teasing. There is something beneath the syrupy sweetness. Something like mischief. His brows raise, eyes glinting, his lips twitch, and you know he is about to be a menace.
Tilting his head, Bucky feigns deep thought, but his eyes stay on you at all times. âWould that involve two idiots tryna sneak around behind my back?â
You blink at him.
Buckyâs grin turns wolfish and he bites his lip to suppress a laugh.
âYou were actinâ all off from the beginning, doll. Knew somethinâ was up,â he states, voice a little softer, until he turns on his playful teasing voice again. âFlawless execution, sweetheart. Didnât notice a damn thing.â
Groaning loudly, you press your hands to your face and Bucky lets the laugh out. Itâs full-bodied and wholehearted. His chest shakes, his shoulders lift, his body tilts into it. And itâs such a good sound, such a lovely sound, so rich and free. It makes your own lips curl despite the frustration of the ruined surprise.
Bucky reaches up to gently pry your hands away from your face. His grip lingers, thumbs tracing over your knuckles, his touch so easy and natural.
His expression gives way to something soft. He bites his lip again, before bringing your hands up and kissing them softly, twinkling bright blue eyes trained on you and the deep flush that spreads along your cheeks.
Perhaps Bucky Barnes finally has a reason to start celebrating his birthday.
âBut oh baby! Your smile.. Felt like warm sunshine after a heavy storm.. Overdose of it, is still not enough for me..â
- Zankhana
3K notes
¡
View notes
Text
eyes on you



pairing: ot13 x fem!14thmember!reader
genre: angst, fluff
word count: 1.4k
cw: brief violence (album is thrown at reader), carats are mean to reader đ, cursing, nightmares, protective svt ?, carat calls svt âoppaâ and itâs the cringiest line iâve ever written.
a/n: been getting some requests for 14th member reader so here yall go! couldn't find a good pic for this theme so just enjoy the winter photo lolol, have no idea if relationship between svt and reader is platonic or not so it's up to interpretation... i don't know if i like this or not....
fan signs were usually fun.
key word: usually. you really did enjoy interacting with fans, playing with toy guns and whatever props you were given, but there was just one thing that would always happen.
it was normally something small, just a weird look or an obvious difference in the mood of a fan when they'd get to you, but no matter what it was, it was always noticeable.
you were used to it by now, the hate that came with being the only female member of the group. thankfully, it'd died down since debut, and over time, you learned how to ignore the comments. the members were your family, and you were theirs, why should people online dictate how you live your life?
however, there was always something different about when it happened in person. maybe it was the way you could see the joy in their face drain at the sight of you or how someone would look at you as if you had hurt them. you didn't know, but just that coming from one person would keep you awake for nights, no matter how many fans you met after.
but maybe today would be different, or at least that's what you told yourself as you sat down between vernon and minghao earlier that morning. these two were some of the calmest members of the group, so surely someone wouldn't dare to piss them off by insulting you, right?
well, just about half an hour in, a girl shoved an album before you. you had your hands out in front of you, just fidgeting around while you waited for minghao to finish up with her before she nearly knocked out your fingers.
you were taken aback a little, but you gave her the benefit of the doubt and didn't react to it, just greeting her as usual. looking down at the album, you read the name written on a sticky note. "your name is gaeun? how pretty," you commented, uncapping your marker to sign the album when she stopped you.
"don't." she warned sternly, grabbing ahold of your wrist. you tried to retract it, looking around for help, but to your dismay, the venue seemed to be understaffed. there were only two managers to help out, and they both happened to be at the very ends of the table, slowly making their way down the row as if they have all the time in the world.
you looked back at her. âiâm sorry?â you said, trying to figure out what was going on, but she didnât budge. âokay, okay, iâm not going to sign it.â you backed off, holding your other hand up in surrender.
âgood. i donât need your nasty hands on it either. give it back!â she snapped, snatching back the album as if she hadnât been the one to place it in front of you. the noise garnered the attention of minghao, who looked at her before turning his head toward you.
he raised an eyebrow, confused, but you shook your head. nothing was wrong, just some weirdly aggressive hater. what was new?
then the girl, or gaeun now that you knew her name, all of the sudden lit up at the sudden glance from minghao. âohh oppa~ thereâs nothing to worry about! you look so handsome today~â she cooed.
you could see him try to keep a neutral facial expression as you held back laughter yourself. he nodded awkwardly before turning his attention back to the person in front of him. honestly, you were unsure of what to do now. the other fans you had come across before may not have liked you, but they at least let you sign their albums.
thankfully, there shouldn't be much time before the fans have to switch members, so you just kept yourself occupied by eavesdropping on the conversation vernon and the girl in front of him were having. clearly, yours didn't want anything to do with you.
"come on, entertain me, bitch."
your head snapped back at her, noticing the two members beside you do the same as you gave her a puzzled look. she didn't seem to notice them, though, fully focused on you.
"what are you just staring at me for? you can't do your one job? no wonder so many people hate-"
"don't. don't you dare say another word to her."
you turned toward the voice, quite shocked to find the owner of it to be vernon out of all people. he and minghao both glared at the girl, filling the room with silent tension.
by now, the timer had went off, meaning it was time to switch members, but the girl wouldn't move, causing a line of people to form to the side of her. the managers made their way toward her to stop the delay, and now most of the members' attention was on you and her.
"god, you're pathetic," she scoffed, ignoring vernon's warning and the amount of stares directed at her. she made a quick glance at the managers, and as some sort of 'last laugh' before she got kicked out of the venue, she chucked the album- straight at your face.
by some miracle, yet slow reflexes, you managed to avoid getting poked in the eye, taking a hit to the temple instead. it's quiet for a couple of seconds, then all chaos commences. fans were yelling, probably at the girl as the managers practically dragged her away, and the members started to stand up and crowd around you.
before she was fully dragged out, the girl mouthed something at you, but you really couldnât make sense of it right now.
this hadn't happened recently, the last incident being when someone shoved an album at joshua a couple years ago. and since then, pledis had put out strict warning about it, so it was even more shocking that someone had done it again.
you turned away from the audience, attempting to conceal yourself as you shut your eyes at the pain that began to spread from your head. voices overlapped over one another until you felt someone pull you into a warm embrace, hands falling onto your ears.
finally, all the noise seemed to die down. you opened your eyes, curious as to who was holding you.
joshua smiled as you met his eyes; his hands fell to your shoulders.
âhey, itâs okay, theyâre moving everyone out of the venue. weâre not going to finish the fan sign.â he explained assuringly, but the comment sort of made you embarrassed. maybe if you took care of the situation better, everyone wouldnât have had to leave.
you were frustrated, upset, scared, all of the above. you hated that someone disliked you so much to the point that this would even happen. why did so many people have a problem with you, and only you?
but there was one thing bothering you the most, something that kept your heart racing. deciding that you didn't need everyone worrying about you again, you kept your mouth shut as the managers came back and announced that you all were done for the day.
but that night, you dreamt of it.
you were at the fan sign, living through all the moments again. the girl is dragged away as she mouths to you,
"next time, i won't miss."
you couldn't move, frozen in fear as she began to laugh hysterically.
"y/n? y/n, wake up."
seungcheol shook you awake, stepping back when you yelped. "it's okay, you were having a nightmare." he said, sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking your hair. "what was it about?"
trying to move on from the conversation, you said that it was just about what had happened earlier, but he stopped you.
"you were saying something, though. you kept repeating 'no', y/n, did something else happen?"
oh, you had no idea that happened, and now you were stuck. taking your hesitance as an answer, he took your hand into his.
"y/n, you can tell me. i don't want you to be scared anymore, okay?"
you sighed, giving in and telling him about the threat the girl made. his eyebrows furrowed as you explained it. truly, there was nothing the two of you could do about it, and it made him frustrated.
"it's fine, though. it was a shallow threat anyway, i don't know why i was so scared."
"no, it's not fine," seungcheol argued, pulling you into a tight hug.
"i promise you, i won't let anything happen to you. never again."
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
only angel
summary: on paper, you and joshua hong are the perfect rivals, heirs to competing companies, each primed to outshine the other. what a pity you canât seem to get enough of each other behind closed doors.
⢠pairing: rich kid!joshua hong x rich kid!fem!reader ⢠contains: smut (semi-public sex, oral sex, protected sex, fingering, dirty talk, exhibitionism, overstimulation), fluff, rivals to lovers au, friends with benefits au, rich kid au, profanity, implied misogyny, alcohol consumption, the nickname âangelââplease let me know if iâve missed anything! ⢠word count: 4.7k ⢠note: title is taken from harry stylesâ only angel.

âIâm just saying, if we want to see other people, we should.â
You roll your eyes. From your position on the bedâcurled-up, facing Joshuaâhe looks sleep-drunk and honey-sweet. You canât really say that to him without sounding like a sap, so you kiss the corner of his mouth instead. He hums, low and satisfied.
âWhat was that for?â he asks. âNot that Iâm complaining.â
âSo that every time you see another girl, you remember that my kisses are way better.â You let a slow smile spread across your face.
âThatâs⌠possessive,â Joshua says, sounding mildly impressed. âAnd kind of toxic.â
He leans forward this time, brushing his lips against yours. Strictly speaking, you and Joshua have no reason to be so tender with each other. Intimacy is a rarity you canât afford.
âAre you interested in seeing someone else?â you ask, when he pulls away.
A laugh ripples through his chest, and you grin impishly up at him. âSeeing people, yeah. Fucking them, no,â he says.
âI wonât stop you even if you do fuck other people.â
âHow considerate.â His smile is teasing, but youâre not joking.Â
Your relationship with Joshua Hong would cause a scandal unlike any other if word got outâand rightfully so. Your family has always been at constant odds with the Hongs, continuously trying to one up each other. As some of the biggest business conglomerates in the country, competition between the two companies was inevitable, but you certainly didnât expect it to attain the level of aggression it has reached now. You and Joshua often joke that youâre like Romeo and Juliet, minus the idiocy of ingesting poison and the whole falling in love part.Â
While the rest of your family and business associates do their best to eliminate their rivals once and for all, somehow you and Joshua didnât get the memo.
Secrecy is a must in your situation. Only a select few people are aware of the illicit nature of the relationship between Pledis Industriesâ doted-upon child and Hong Holdingsâ golden boy. Even then, youâre careful, hiding your comings and goings from your parents and superiors. You usually make up some excuseâyou were out with your friends, you went on an impromptu day tripâsomething to make them stop sniffing your trail.Â
By all logic, you and Joshua should hate each other as well. But heâs a charming guy, objectively attractive, and more than that, heâs fantastic in bed. One formal event and too many glasses of champagne later, you found yourselves scurrying off to a deserted room, as though you were teenagers trying to sneak out during a school trip. Itâs been a few months since then, but this arrangement has lasted.
So, logically speaking, all this small talk and commitment is utterly unnecessary. Youâre not searching for any new guys to fuck, but if Joshua wants to fuck other people⌠Well. Thatâs his choice.
âYou see people every day,â you remind him.
âYour point is?â
You move closer to him, throwing a leg over one of his. His cock twitches. You grin and reach down, splaying your fingers over his bare abdomen. He hisses at the contact, quickly tugging the blanket off.Â
âMy point is,â you whisper, rubbing your thumb against the soft patch of hair thatâs right above his groin, âIâll see you tonight at the launch event, Mr. Hong. Do try not to get your dick wet until then.â
âYouâre evil, you know that?â Joshua whines, fingers curling into his palm.
You swing your legs over the side of the bed, fishing underneath the covers for your bra and panties. The lacy lingerie secured a few attempts later, you stand up and stretch your arms lazily. The horizon is tinged light pink; the glass door that leads to the balcony reflects the sunâs earliest rays. The city is just barely awake. Five oâclock in the morning on a Saturday lies somewhere on the threshold between dawn and night, and itâs a good thing no one youâve come to the convention with will be awake now, after all the drinks theyâve had the night before.Â
âOne of my better charms,â you reply flippantly to Joshuaâs previous comment.Â
You fasten your bra and quickly pull up your underwear. Bending down to pick up your discarded clothesâa formal skirt and blouseâyou know Joshua Hong is already staring blatantly at your ass.Â
Sure enough, when you turn around, you find him watching you dress with his mouth hung open and a dazed look in his eyes. This might be your favourite part of your excursions, you think: Driving Joshua Hong mad. You once asked him why he liked seeing you dress up again so much, and he cheekily said that he loved imagining undressing you all over again. It had made heat flush your cheeks, and he had laughed at seeing you so flustered.
Now, it gives you a weird sense of delight, because more often than not, you leave Joshua with a hard-on and a curt order to not touch himself. Whether he actually complies or not, you donât know, but youâre satisfied anyway.
âYou should sleep in for a bit,â you tell him, once youâre fully-dressed. You run a hand through your unruly hair in an attempt to detangle it.Â
In the light of the day, Joshuaâs hotel room is a lot more⌠fuller. In the dark, all you did was grope about, pray you didnât stub your toe on something and clutch the back of Joshuaâs shirt like it was a lifeline while he fumbled to find the lamp on the bedside table. With crumpled sheets, a half-opened suitcase by the plush armchair, and an empty mug of instant coffee on the table in front of it, it looks lived-inâa weird contrast to yours. You prefer keeping your hotel room pristine because you feel strangely guilty giving the hotel staff more work to do.
Joshua yawns. âSo should you. The conference isnât until seven in the evening, no oneâs going to be awake.â
âI⌠need to prepare for my speech,â you say. Itâs a lieâyouâve practised your speech so many times, you know it verbatim nowâbut youâre absolutely paranoid at the thought of someone accidentally finding you and Joshua together.
And then youâd be forced to stay away from him, and what good would that do? It would cause more misery than you want it to.
âOh.â Joshua perks up. âYouâre presenting today? Good luck.â
âThanks, Joshua.â You smile. âIâll see you in the evening.â
âYeah, alright.â
You clutch your shoes in your handâitâs too early to prance about in high heelsâand twist the knob on the door. Joshua, ever the suave gentleman, winks at you raunchily before you roll your eyes and shut the door behind you.Â
The carpeted hallway is soft against your bare feet. You can hear the distant whirring of one of those big carpet-cleaning machines further away. You quicken your pace; your room is one floor below Joshuaâs and you canât risk getting caught, even by the hotel staff, so close to the Gojo heirâs room. The lights cast a soft glow throughout the gilded walls, making the abstract art paintings pinned up shimmer. A vase with dried-up roses sits prettily on a marble-topped table as you round the corner towards the staircase.
You quickly descend the steps two at a time, nearly running straight into a waiter holding a tray with a pot of coffee aloft. You give him an apologetic smile and a shrug when he glances at your haphazard state, as though to say Well, what can you do? and head on over to your room. Thankfully, you donât run into anyone else along the way.
You swipe your keycard against the lock and push your door open. Dropping the heels on the floor, you let out a relieved sigh. First things first: youâre going to brush your teeth and take a nice, long shower. You think about the dress youâve planned to wear for the evening and smile.
Joshua Hong is going to love it.

Your speech was a resounding success.Â
Despite being one of the few women speakers invited to the conference, you refused to hang your head low. Yes, you might have gotten to the position youâre at only because of your parents, but that doesnât mean youâre good at your job. You delivered every line perfectly.
You deserve a reward.
The grand ballroom shimmers under the glow of crystal chandeliers, the soft hum of conversation interspersed with the gentle clink of champagne glasses. You glide through the sea of tailored suits and designer dresses, exchanging pleasantries with industry leaders and dignitaries. Youâre here as a representative of Pledis Industriesâand, by extension, your mother and father. Connections are vital, and you canât be caught slacking.
Your gown, sleek and fitted, feels like a second skin, catching the light just right as you moveâenough to draw eyes, enough to give off an air of importance. Your makeup is light, only accentuating your best features. Youâre the talented daughter of one of the countryâs richest CEOs; your image should come off as authentic and empathetic.
But thereâs only one gaze you can feel lingering on you from the moment you stepped off the stage, and itâs Joshuaâs.
You pause, taking a sip of your almost-finished drink. Your conversation with Kim Taehyungâa famous businessmanâabout philanthropic organisations is intriguing, and itâs a good chance to network and earn some favour. But even though Taehyung is smart and intelligent, and extremely good-looking (he looks like a Greek statue carved by the Gods; youâre slightly envious of his jawline), you canât stop yourself from trying to catch Joshuaâs gaze. You wore this dress for him, after all.
He meets your eyes from where he stands, leaning against the bar, looking effortlessly elegant in his tailored suit. His hair is combed back, a few strands falling across his forehead, and he sips from a glass of some dark liquid, raising it slightly like itâs a toast. A small, knowing smile tugs at his lips, before itâs quickly replaced by the polite, blank expression both of you have perfected over the yearsâthough his eyes twinkle just the same. It sends a wave of warmth straight to your chest and down your navel.
Swallowing down the last of your champagne, you place it on a nearby table and excuse yourself. You canât linger in his stare for too long; that would only be giving yourself away. Joshua tilts his head, and you know what he wants.Â
You make your way to a quieter, less crowded part of the ballroom, near one of the staff rooms. Just as you prepare to slip out through one of the side doors, a hand grabs your wrist, and youâre yanked into the quiet, dimly lit space. The door clicks shut behind you. Joshuaâs body is pressed flush against yours.Â
âDid you wear that just to drive me insane?â he murmurs, breath ghosting over your ear.
You canât help the smirk that tugs at your lipsâyou knew he would love this colour on youâbut your words falter when his hand slides over the curve of your waist, fingers teasing the slit of your dress.Â
âYouâre not the only one in the room,â you manage to say. âMaybe I dressed up for the crowd. There are tons of eligible bachelors out there.â
âYeah? Like who?â
âKim Taehyung,â you say, startled by your own boldness.
Joshuaâs eyes widen with momentary surprise. âIs he why you brought up the idea of seeing other people this morning?â
âGod, no.â You swallow. âNot at all.â
His lips ghost over your neck, the slightest hint of a chuckle escaping him. âYou love getting fucked by me,â he whispers, his hand traveling further down, gripping your thigh, pulling your leg to the side as he presses himself against you. âYou just like to make me remind you.â
Your breath hitches when he yanks your leg up around his waist, the fabric of your gown slipping higher, exposing more skin to his wandering touch. You place your hands on his shoulders for balance.
âYou were amazing, you know,â he continues, lips a hairâs breadth away from yours. âCouldnât take my eyes off you. My gorgeous angel.â
âWhat do I get for it?â you whisper back.
âOh? So greedy,â he says, rubbing circles on the bare skin of your thigh. âIâll give you what you want, donât worry.â
Joshuaâs promise makes heat pool in your stomach, and you crash your lips with his. His tongue slips through your parted mouth. You tangle your fingers in his hair, messing up his careful hairstyle. He groans into your mouth, pulling you closer until your chests touch.
His hands are everywhereâtracing the curve of your hips, slipping beneath your dress, fingers finding your panties and tugging them aside like theyâre in the way. The cool air hits your skin, making you shiver.
âYouâre soaked,â he mutters, voice tight as he slides a finger through your slickness. âAll this just from me watching you?â
You bite your lip, trying to keep yourself from making a sound when he slips a finger inside you. The stretch is familiar, yet it never fails to send a ripple of pleasure straight through you. Your knees almost buckle. He smiles, adding a second finger. His pace is slow, teasing, building the heat between your thighs until youâre struggling to keep quiet.
âJoshua,â you gasp out, barely able to catch your breath. His thumb brushes your clit, sending sparks shooting up your body. You know you should stop this, that anyone could walk in at any time, but the way heâs touching you, the way his fingers curl inside youâit makes coherent thought impossible.
He presses you harder against the wall, his mouth leaving a trail of kisses along your throat, sucking just lightly enough that he doesnât leave marks. His other hand snakes along your waist, holding you steady while his fingers work you closer and closer to the edge, the rhythm of his thumb on your clit driving you wild.
âI think weâve got⌠twenty minutes before people notice weâre missing,â your rival breathes out. âThink I can make you cum in five?â
You let out a strangled gasp, your body trembling as he quickens the pace of his fingers, thrusting them deeper, harder. The coil in your belly tightens with each stroke, every flick of his thumb over your clit; you canât hold back the soft moans that escape your lips.
Joshua grins, clearly enjoying the way you fall apart in his hands. âThatâs it. Donât hold back.â
His words, the heat of his breath against your ear, send you spiralling. You grip the front of his suit jacket, your legs shaking as the pleasure builds, higher and higher, until itâs too much. Your hips buck against his hand, chasing that final push as his thumb presses harder against your clit.
Your orgasm rips through you, a wave of white-hot pleasure that makes your vision blur. Your thighs shake as you cum around his fingers. You bite down on your lip to keep from crying out loud, but a small whimper still slips through. He continues to pump his fingers, prolonging your release.
When it finally subsides, Joshua pulls his hand away, fingers glistening with your arousal. He watches you for a moment, a satisfied look on his face. You try to catch your breath, leaning heavily against the wall for support.
âGod, you look so good when you cum for me.â He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, almost tender.
You open your mouth to respond, but before you can, he shushes you and brings his fingersâstill wet with your slickâup to your lips.
âSuck.â
Your heart pounds in your chest, but you do as he says, wrapping your lips around his fingers, tasting yourself as he watches silently. His thumb brushes your lower lip as you release him, his gaze not leaving yours.
âMy turn. I want to eat you out.â Joshuaâs grin is mischievous, but evil is how you would describe it.
âF-fuck, no, Joshua, Iâ I canâtââÂ
Your protests fall on deaf ears. Joshua drops to his knees, uncaring of the fact that the linoleum floor beneath him is probably dirty enough to soil his expensive trousers.Â
âJoshua, wait, let me justââ You kick off your heels. The floor is cool underneath your bare feet and it feels better now that you no longer have to worry about accidentally twisting your ankle because you couldnât hold yourself up.
âHold your dress up for me, angel.â
You comply, bunching up your dress in your arms and holding it above your waist. The fabric wrinkles under your fingertips. You want to say something snarky back to himâbut the only thing that escapes your mouth is a small squeak when Joshua cups your ass with a hand, pulling you closer to his face. He licks his way up your thighs, only stopping when you whine.
âShhh, angel. Youâre going to draw someoneâs attention if you keep making those pretty noises.â
You nod but whimper softly, because if Joshua Hong angled his head just a little bit, his breath would be ghosting right against your centre, the only barricade being the soft cotton of your already-soiled panties. He rests a finger against the front of your underwear, his touch light. When he sees the way you bite your lip to hide your moans, he presses more firmly, rubbing against your pussy.
âFuck,â you curse under your breath, attempting to fuck yourself on his finger. He looks up at you with a wondrous expression, watching you swivel your hips, trying to get yourself off. Finally, having had enough, Joshua hooks his fingers through the waistband and roughly pulls it down.Â
If you werenât so high off his touches, perhaps youâd have been embarrassed at the arousal that glistens over your pussy and inner thighs even though you just orgasmed. As such, you do not give a fuckâespecially not when you hear Joshuaâs sharp intake of breath at the sight. He licks your clit slowly, once, twice, thrice, and then grabs your ass and pulls you closer. You free one hand and hold onto strands of his hair to steady yourself. Joshuaâs mouth attaches to your clit, slurping and sucking on the sensitive bundle of nerves. The moan that bubbles out of your throat draws a satisfied hum from the man eating out your cunt.
He slides a finger inside your clenching hole, slick with arousal, swirling his tongue around your clit. Your mind feels blank, lost to the pleasure that Joshua Hong readily gives you. You let out a slew of curses, until finally, you nearly cry out, âJoshuaâohâI think Iâm going to cumââ
Your rival completely disregards your comment, instead adding another finger and pumping them both in and out. His mouth still works your clit diligently. Itâs not long before you close your eyes and see stars on the inside of your eyelids. Your chest heaves as your orgasm washes over you. You come undone on Joshuaâs face and fingers, shuddering and gasping out profanities.
âGood job,â he praises. You open your eyes and find him still kneeling on the floor. The bulge against the front of his jeans is prominent and for a brief moment, you feel a bit guilty for not giving him the same pleasure he gave you. He glances at his slick-coated fingers, and once you meet his gaze, he pops them into his mouth and licks every bit of your juices off of them.Â
âWhat about you?â you breathe out.
âWhat about me?â
âYouâre hard,â you point out, as if youâre not stating the obvious.Â
Joshua arches an eyebrow and stands up. âVery astute observation.â
âOh, fuck off. I donât even know why I bother, honestlyââ
Joshua grins and kisses the corner of your mouth. âAre you offering to suck me off?â
âNo fucking way.â You scowl. âI spent hours on my makeup.â
âHm. Not that that did any goodââ
Your scowl turns fiercer.
ââI mean, you still look beautiful, even though youâre all sweaty. I was just teasing,â he amends. âIâll be fine. Iâll just go back to my hotel room all by myself and jerk myself off all by myself. Or I could fuck you against the wall.â
Your eyes widen. Joshuaâever the observant oneânotices.
âOh, youâd like that, wouldnât you?â he drawls, unzipping his trousers. His bulge is more prominent, now, with only one layer of fabric covering it. âYou get off on that, hm? You like being pressed against the wall, so close to everyone outside? Anyone could hear the sounds you make with that pretty little mouth of yours, and then everyone will want to know whoâs coaxing them out of you. You like the sound of that?â
His words, crass and filthy by all means, make you shiver. Joshua knows you better than most people. He has mapped out all the places that make you moan, how to bring you to your high as quickly as possibleâbut he also knows how to make you laugh and smile, and what type of dessert is your favourite, and about the time you cannonballed off the diving board and broke your arm because you didnât land inside the swimming pool correctly.
Joshua Hong knows you, and it is this fact, more than anything else, that makes you trust him.
âOnce more for me, angel. Can you do that?â he asks, pulling his underwear down and freeing his cock.
You nod dumbly, mouth watering at the sight of himâwhite strands messed up by your fingers, dick hanging out of his pants and curving upwards, the formal button down with the sleeves rolled up and the collar askew, and the lipstick stain on his cheek. He is a vision, and he is all yours.
Joshua smirks, like he knows the effect he has on you. You really should get him back for that, you think.
âTurn around for me,â he coos.
You do as he says, dress still bunched up in one hand. Joshua presses into you from behind, the curve of his dick against your ass, and curls an arm around your chest, cupping one of your breasts. He pinches your nipple lightly through the satin-like fabric of your dress; you gasp.
You turn your head, trying to catch a glimpse of your lover. He stares back at you, mouth pressed into a thin line like he can barely restrain himself, eyes darkened with lust. He pumps his cock a few times, spreading his pre-cum over the length.
âJoshua,â you whisper, pleading.
Joshua kisses you at the same time he enters you, swallowing your moan with his mouth and running his tongue along yours. He still tastes a bit like you, and itâs enough to make you shudder coupled with the feeling of him filling you up.
âFuck, angel,â he murmurs against your lips. âSo perfect for me. Gonna fill you up so well, yeah?â
You can only groan in reply, your free hand coming around to clutch his. His grip is tight and warm, and he squeezes your hand when he pulls out and thrusts back in. You let your head drop back and lean on his shoulder, your eyes fluttering shut and pants escaping your throats.
âSo pretty, so beautiful, so perfect,â Joshua mutters, swivelling his hips and thrusting faster into you. He moans, the feeling of your walls clenching around him nearly driving him over the edge. He mouths kisses at your neck, your jawâno longer careful to not leave marks. He doesnât care anymore. Some twisted part of him gets off on showing the world that heâs fucked youâhis rival since both of you were declared the inheritors of you respective companiesâso well. Others would kill to be in your place, or in his, but you only want him and he only wants you.
âJ-Joshua, âm gonna cum,â you gasp out. His dick drags against your walls, and one particularly rough thrust makes the tip of his cock find that one spot that makes your toes curl with pleasure. You nearly keen at the sensation.
âCum for me, angel,â he mumbles. âDoing so well for me. You deserve it. Youâre on the pill, yeah?â
âYes,â you moan, leaning your forehead against the rough surface of the wall and squeezing your eyes shut. You squeeze Joshuaâs hand once more, the only sounds being the slap of skin against skin and the breathless noises that escape both your lips. Your thighs tremble and you feel stars burst against your eyelids as Joshua brings you to an orgasm for the third time that night.
He rides you through it, continuing to pump his cock in and out of you, though his thrusts have turned sloppy. With a string of curse words mumbled under his breath, Joshua finally cums inside you. You groan at the feeling. He stays there, quiet, simply holding you while both of you catch your breath.Â
Joshua slips his softening cock out of you and tucks it back into his pants. You turn around, wrinkle your nose, and bend down to pull your panties back up. Youâre sweaty and you feel sticky all over, and you can barely stand without leaning on Joshua for support.
Thereâs no way you can go back to the convention in this state.
He wipes the sweat off your forehead with the back of his hand. You smooth out your dress and adjust your hair, trying to look presentable. He takes a step back, eyes sweeping over you one last time.
âYou have lipstick on your cheek,â you inform him. He brings a palm up to his face and rubs at it.
âHere, wear this,â Joshua tells you. He picks up his blazer from where it was thrown on the floorâyou hadnât even realised it was there. Mumbling your thanks, you drape it over your shoulders.Â
âCome on. Iâll take you back to your room,â he says. âWe can shower together.â
âGod, no, Joshua. Knowing you, youâll probably have me against the bathroom wall again.â
âWhat do you take me for? A hormonal teenager who just discovered Wi-Fi and incognito mode?â
âYes.â
âOkay, so that isnât offensive at all,â Joshua whines. âPlease? Iâll even shampoo your hair for you and I promise not a single thought about sex will enter my mind.â
âThatâs practically impossible for you,â you mutter. Still, the thought is enticing. You could really use a warm bath right now, and if Joshua is offering to wash your hair for youâwell, itâs one less thing for you to worry about given how tired you are. âBut fine. Weâll have to be careful so that no one sees us together, though.â
Joshua grins. âOf course. I think everyone is out there getting drunk. Weâll be fine.â
He picks up your heels for you, and, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, twists the door knob.

(You frown and shove your phone into Joshuaâs face. The screen is open to an article, which reads:
Has The Notorious Bachelor Of Hong Holdings Finally Settled Down? Joshua Hong Photographed Leaving Hotel Room With Mysterious Girl.
Underneath it is a grainy photo of him, with his hand around your shoulders and your heels in his hand. Thankfully, your face is blurred enough that no one knows itâs you, but still.
âSpeculations about who the mysterious girl is rise as the Internet goes into a meltdown,â Joshua reads, tryingâand failingâto keep a straight face. âJoshua Hong, considered one of the most eligible and successful bachelors around, has never once been caught or embroiled in any love affair. The most popular suspicion is that the woman in question is a secret spy, sent to seduce him and steal his extensive collection of designer sunglasses,â he continues, pausing to dramatically adjust one of the said pairs of sunglasses perched on his nose.
âIâm going to kill you,â you mutter, raising a hand to shove his shoulder.
Joshua laughs and catches your hand, using it as leverage to pull your body closer to his. âYou wonât. Youâre the only angel I knowâyouâre too nice to do that.â
âTry me,â you say, but you tilt your head up and capture his lips in a kiss instead.)

976 notes
¡
View notes
Text

These are some of my favourite stories of Hong Joshua I've read so far!
Make sure to support these authors. I'll be adding more as time goes on.
Also find my other recommendations post of one-shots.
the royal gambit by @idyllic-ghost
Unveiling Hearts: The Law of Attraction by @idyllic-ghost
pushing and pulling by @hannieween
hoax by @lovelyhan
isohel by @toruro
108 hours by @strayed-quokka
Something Between Us by @thedensworld
Where you're convenient by @miabebe
Gentleman by @starlightxsvt
Snowflakes by @brownsugarbaybee
Anonymously Yours by @joonsytip
tell me that you love me [part 1] [part 2] by @wheeboo
too nice by @mochacoda
golden hour by @dkfile
royally screwed [part 1] [part 2] by @husbandhoshi
Just Like That by @kwanisms
Be My Sin by @miaoua3
HELP! My Neighbour is an Alien a Porn Star by @kwanis
skin by @bratzkoo
fungal affairs by @starrdustshuas
Sweet Dreams by @wonusite
Calendar Killer by @miabebe
889 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Stupid Drunken Call | C.Sc

Genre: fluff, office au!
Summary: After submitting your resignation letter, you drunkenly called your boss of seven years. After that, his behavior toward you changed unexpectedly.
You heard the elevator ding softly in the hallwayâthe unmistakable signal that your superior had arrived, as he did every morning at precisely this time. You stood from your desk, smoothing your blazer and preparing to greet him as usual. Moments later, he appeared: Choi Seungcheol, followed closely by Jeonghan, your colleague and his main secretary, who read the dayâs schedule to him in a steady, practiced voice. Confidence radiated from both men as they walked, commanding the room's attention without trying.
When Seungcheol passed by your desk, you bowed politely, offering a respectful, âGood morning, Mr. Choi.â
He paused, surprising you by stopping in front of your desk rather than continuing down the corridor. âMorning,â he replied, his voice low but steady. After a brief pause, he glanced at you and asked, âWhereâs Mingyu? Isnât today his first day of training?â
You nodded, feeling a twinge of something bittersweet. Mingyu, a new recruit with undeniable talent, was here to train as your replacement. After seven years of routine mornings, assisting the superiors through countless meetings, projects, and unexpected crises, you were leaving. Resigning had been your choice, but the weight of this change hadnât truly hit you until now, standing here in the familiar morning light of the office.
âYes, Mr. Choi,â you replied with a slight smile, âHe should be arriving shortly. Iâll bring him over as soon as he does.â
Seungcheol gave you a curt nod, his gaze lingering on you for just a moment longer, a glimmer of something unreadable in his eyes before he continued down the corridor.
âMingyu⌠That guy should know to be on time,â Seungcheol muttered, a hint of irritation in his voice. âHis training is two months, right?â
You nodded as Jeonghan stepped out of Seungcheolâs office behind him, finally able to relax. He let out a sigh. âI canât believe youâre really leaving.â
You offered him a knowing smile. âMe either. But itâs been seven years.â
Seven years ago, you and Jeonghan had been recruited and trained together to assist Mr. Choi, Seungcheolâs father. When Mr. Choi passed away, the board quickly assigned Seungcheol to take his fatherâs place. Thankfully, he was gracious enough to retain both you and Jeonghan as part of his secretary team, easing the transition for everyone.
Jeonghan suddenly looked at you with a hint of panic in his eyes. âDid you book the restaurant I asked about? Mr. Choi has that lunch meeting with the client, remember?â
You gave him a thumbs-up. âAll set. I even double-checked that they have vegan options on the menu.â
Jeonghan clutched his chest dramatically. âI have no idea how Iâll manage after you leave me with Mingyu!â
Just then, a tall, slightly disheveled guy with a backpack hurriedly appeared, out of breath and looking a little flustered. âSorry Iâm late!â Mingyu panted, giving you both a quick nod. âThere was an accidentâthe bus I took lost a wheel!â
You and Jeonghan exchanged unimpressed glances, trying not to laugh at Mingyuâs unusual excuse. He was here to take over your position, but it was clear he had some big shoes to fillâand that he might need a few more lessons in time management.
After the lunch meeting, Jeonghan placed a takeout box on your desk, right as you were deeply focused on the manual you were putting together for Mingyu. You glanced up, intrigued by the unexpected treat.
âMr. Choi finally declared his favorite secretary,â Jeonghan announced, leaning casually against your desk with a sly grin.
You raised an eyebrow, skeptical. âReally?â you asked, your tone dripping with doubt. In all your years working for Seungcheol, he had never done anything like this.
Jeonghan nodded, his eyes narrowing playfully. âIs there something going on between the two of you that I donât know about?â His tone was teasing, hinting at the kind of office romance you'd only read about in novels.
Rolling your eyes, you smirked. âYou wish. Besides, you know heâs dating that model,â you replied, thinking of the stunning woman Seungcheol had brought to a recent social event.
Jeonghan shrugged nonchalantly. âMaybe heâs softened up since you handed in your resignation. Maybe heâs finally realized what an incredible secretary heâs losing.â
You laughed, nudging his shoulder. âShut up!â
Before Jeonghan could reply, your phone rang, interrupting the moment. On the third ring, you picked it up, recognizing Seungcheolâs deep voice on the other end, summoning you to his office. Through the glass wall of his office, you noticed him lookingâno, glaringâyour way. You werenât entirely sure what he was thinking, but the intensity of his gaze made you stand up quickly, leaving no time for second-guessing.
âHe called. Gotta go,â you said to Jeonghan, setting down the phone and straightening your blazer.
He gave you an exaggerated nod and moved back to his own desk across from yours. âAlright, Ms. Secretary,â he called after you with a wink, making it clear that the teasing was far from over.
You knocked on the office door before opening it and stepping inside. Seungcheol was there, his suit jacket draped over his chair, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The sight of him in this more casual state threw you off, even if only for a momentâyou were never fond of this job, but professionalism kept you grounded.
You bowed politely, standing a respectful two meters from his desk, hands clasped in front of you. As he looked up from his paperwork, his gaze lingered on you, his eyes scanning you from head to toe. You felt oddly exposed under his scrutiny.
âAre you always this rigid, Ms. Ji?â he asked, a slight scoff in his voice.
You blinked, caught off guard. Had you been? âIâve always been this way, sir,â you replied, keeping your tone professional. You prided yourself on maintaining boundaries; thatâs why you were leavingâto stay true to your professionalism.
He nodded thoughtfully. âWhat do you think of Mingyu?â
Resting his chin on his clasped hands, he watched you intently as you spoke. âFrom what Iâve seen, heâs quick, sharp, and adaptable, which is promising. Heâs also retained everything Iâve shown him so far, so I donât think you need to worry.â
Seungcheol nodded, but you caught a hint of dissatisfaction in his expression. It seemed there was something he didnât quite like about Mingyu, though he didnât say so outright.
âHe can be a little clumsy,â you admitted, recalling with a slight grimace how Mingyu had spilled Seungcheolâs coffee that morning. âBut heâs working on it.â
Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. âYes, please guide him well. Are you sure two months will be enough?â
After this morning, you weren't so sure. But prolonging your stay here wasnât an option you wanted to consider. âIâll ensure he makes significant progress within two weeks, sir. If more time is needed, Iâll let you know.â
He nodded, seemingly satisfied, and you took this as your cue to leave. But you couldnât help noting how strange this was. Oddity number two: he rarely called you into his office; normally, communication was handled over phone or email. That, combined with the unexpected lunch takeout, left you wondering if this was all coincidenceâor if something had shifted in Seungcheol's usual demeanor.
âYou can go, Y/n,â Jeonghan called out as he wrapped up his final check of the materials for tomorrowâs meeting, catching you by surprise.
âWho says?â You turned, eyes wide.
âThe boss himself,â he replied with a smirk. âI know heâs been acting a little strange. Face it, Y/nâheâs trying to keep you here. I think heâs finally realized just how essential you are to this place,â Jeonghan added playfully.
You chuckled, shaking your head as you grabbed your things. âIâm flattered, but Iâm taking this as my cue to go. Itâs been so long since I finished work at this hour,â you said, smiling as you headed for the elevator.
Once outside, you flagged down a cab, sinking into the back seat as it pulled away. You couldnât help but reflect on the day. Oddity number three: Seungcheol letting you go home early.
Staring out the window at the city lights, you resolved to stay focused. Youâd given this company seven yearsâenough was enough. You were moving forward, and no amount of unexpected gestures could change your decision.
*
You sat uncomfortably in Seungcheol's car as he drove the two of you to a lunch meeting with Hong Group. Normally, you'd be the one arranging transportation, but today you hadnât. In fact, you couldn'tâbecause you didnât know how to drive. You still remembered the brief flash of surprise in his eyes before he smoothly took the driverâs seat, saving you the trouble of calling a driver at the last minute.
âIâm sorry, sir, I shouldâve arranged for a driver earlier,â you mumbled, embarrassed. For the first time in your career, you felt humiliated by something so trivial. Maybe you really should take driving lessons after this.
Seungcheol only chuckled behind the wheel. Ahead, a sea of cars sat at a standstill in traffic, making you curse yourself a little more for this uncomfortable situation.
âItâs alright,â he reassured, glancing over. âItâs been a while since Iâve driven myself, actually. Jeonghan usually handles itâand heâs a great driver.â
As he turned his attention back to the road, you recalled Jeonghanâs parting words before you left the office. âSee? I told youâheâs trying to win your heart, Y/n,â Jeonghan had teased, though youâd brushed it off.
The silence stretched, until Seungcheol finally broke it. âIs it rude to ask why you donât drive?â He sounded curious, as if this was unusual for someone in your position.
âOh, itâs just... a bit of a silly reason,â you admitted. âIâm actually scared of driving.â You glanced down, hesitating. Even just sitting in the front seat made your heart race a little; the thought of being behind the wheel terrified you.
He seemed to take that in, and then, with surprising gentleness, asked, âBut are you comfortable now? You seem a bit tense.â
You were caught off guard but exhaled, realizing heâd noticed your fidgeting hands and the way you avoided looking at the road ahead. âIâm fine, sir. Iâm sorry if I seem distracted,â you said quickly, grateful when the restaurant finally came into view.
Inside, Seungcheol introduced you to Mr. Hong and his son, Joshua. As the three men began discussing business, you took notes on key points. Seungcheol was interested in investing in Joshuaâs new automotive line, and you tried to focus, but following the conversation was difficult. Every so often, Mr. Hong or Joshua would turn to you for your opinion, and you felt your confidence waver. This wasnât your area of expertise; Jeonghan was the one who shone in meetings like these. You started to regret agreeing to join the lunch.
âYou didnât seem to enjoy lunch earlier,â Seungcheol commented as the two of you headed back to the office, now seated in the back while the driver took over. You were relieved youâd managed to arrange a driver before the meal ended, sparing you from any more time on the front seat.
âOh, no, sir. I enjoyed it very much,â you replied, forcing a polite smile. But even as you spoke, you had the strange feeling that heâd seen through you.
Seungcheol sighed softly, then spoke to the driver, instructing him to close the soundproof partition between the front and back seats. Your curiosity stirredâwhy would he need privacy? But the next thing he did startled you even more. He turned, looking at you with an expression youâd never seen on his face before: a mix of hesitation and vulnerability.
âLet me be honest,â he began, his voice low and sincere. âWhen you first submitted your resignation letter, I wasnât bothered. I thought you simply wanted to develop your career in ways that maybe our company couldnât provide.â
Your breath caught, heart thudding as you tried to anticipate where he was going with this.
âBut when you called that nightâŚâ he continued, pausing as if weighing his next words. âIâI felt like a very bad person. I didnât realize how my actions might have affected you, and for that, I want to apologize, Ms. Ji.â
His words struck you like a bolt, leaving you reeling. What was he talking about? What call?
âIâve been thinking about it ever since,â he went on, his gaze never leaving yours. âAnd your idea⌠it seemed very tempting. So if the offer is still valid, Iâd like to take you up on it.â
What on earth was he talking about?
You felt panic creeping in as you tried to process his words. You called him? You couldnât remember ever calling Seungcheol outside of office hours, let alone making him an offer. And what kind of offer could you possibly make to someone who, practically speaking, owned your career for the next two months?
Heart pounding, you took a steadying breath, unsure of what to say. Yet the words slipped from your lips before you could stop them. âOf course, sirâŚâ you heard yourself reply.
A small, almost relieved smile crept onto Seungcheolâs face as he turned his gaze to the window. He seemed content, as if a weight had lifted from him.
Was it about your resignation? Had you asked to delay your departure without remembering it? Jeonghan had hinted that Seungcheol might not want you to leave. Or was it something else entirely? Questions buzzed through your mind as the car pulled up to the company building.
âTalk to you later, Ms. Ji,â Seungcheol said, his face lighting up with the dopiest smile youâd ever seen on him as he exited the car.
Jeonghan, waiting by the entrance, raised an eyebrow, clearly as perplexed as you felt. Mingyu, the new hire, looked at you like heâd seen a ghost, noting the stunned expression on your face and your unusually pale complexion.
*
You did call him.
You really did, the night after you submitted your resignation letterâthe night when you grabbed can after can of beer, drowning yourself in them like a madwoman, trying to forget everything.
You let out a heavy sigh, collapsing onto the bed. What happened that night when you called him? Why was he suddenly treating you so differently? And what exactly was the offer he mentioned this afternoon?
You felt the weight of the questions pressing down on you, swirling in your mind, but no answers came. Just more confusion.
Your phone rang, startling you. The caller ID displayed Choi Seungcheol, your very boss himself, calling you outside of working hours.
"Good evening, Mr. Choi. Is something wrong?" you answered, your voice betraying a hint of confusion.
You could hear him chuckling on the other end. "I can't call you?"
The casual tone caught you off guard. "YesâI mean, no! I just thought⌠you never call at this hour, so I assumed you needed help with something."
"Actually, I do. I was looking over the presentation you sent me this morning, and I need you to get it ready by tomorrow morning."
Wait, he sent you home early, yet now he expected you to work overtime?
You couldnât help but wonder: Is this the reason I wanted to leave this company?
"Please let me know which section you want me to edit," you said, trying to remain professional.
"No, actually⌠Iâm in the office right now. Come in, and Iâll show you exactly what I need."
Great, you thought to yourself.
"Alright⌠I'll be there," you replied, hanging up.
Thirty minutes later, you arrived at the office. The lights in Seungcheolâs office were on, and you could feel a knot forming in your stomach. You knocked on the door, announcing your presence.
"I'm sorry to drag you back here," Seungcheol said as you entered. "I need this material first thing in the morning."
You walked over to his desk, studying the part of the presentation he wanted changed. As you did, he stood and stepped aside, letting you sit in his chair to examine the presentation on his computerâhe hadnât printed anything out.
"Jeonghan had to leave. Todayâs his anniversary with his girlfriend," Seungcheol added, his tone almost apologetic.
You nodded in acknowledgment. "You know, I didnât want to be the jerk boss who makes him stay late on his anniversary," Seungcheol said.
You tilted your head slightly, waiting for him to continue.
"I called you because, well⌠Iâm already the jerk boss to you," he added, his voice lighter than before.
"Sorry?" Your hand froze over the mouse as you processed his words.
Seungcheol let out a soft, almost playful laugh. "You called me a jerk boss that night, Ms. Ji."
Your heart skipped a beat. His casual tone, combined with the unexpected mention of that night, made you feel a sudden heat rise to your cheeks.
You had a blind date that nightâthe first one in seven years, after working yourself to the bone for Seungcheol. But just as you were getting ready, Seungcheol sent you a voice note an hour before you were supposed to leave. He needed you to reschedule his entire agenda for next week because he was taking a vacation.
A vacation. Was it with the supermodel girlfriend heâd brought to the last social event?
With a heavy sigh, you dove into his agenda, making calls, negotiating with a dozen third parties. It took far longer than you expected. And by the time you finally finished, you received a text from your date.
"If you're too busy with your work, letâs cancel our date."
The words hit you harder than you expected. You remembered crying all week because of Seungcheol, how he had treated you so poorly, despite everything you had done for the company. That was it. You were done. You made up your mindâyou were going to resign. You wrote up your resignation letter and handed it to him first thing in the morning.
The night after, you drowned yourself in cans of beer. And somewhere between the haze of alcohol and frustration, you remembered calling him.
âJerk!â
You heard nothing on the other end.
âJerk! Are you there?â you called again, louder this time, the anger boiling in your voice. Finally, he responded, his voice tight with confusion. âMs. Ji, are you drunk?â
âDonât ask me if Iâm drunk! The reason Iâm drunk right now is you!â you snapped.
âMs. Ji? Where are you?â His voice softened, but you could hear the undercurrent of concern.
You chuckled bitterly. âDonât act like you care. All youâve done these years is take advantage of your quiet secretary. Youâve never treated me fairly, but Iâve been doing everything for you, bending over backward for the company. You're a jerk!"
And then the words youâd held in for so long spilled out in a rush. âAnd what? Youâre going off on a vacation with your model girlfriend while Iâm stuck here, working my ass off on your schedule? Youâre a total jerk, Choi Seungcheol! You heard that?â
*
You gasped as the memory of that conversation came rushing back, like a freight train you couldnât escape. Your hands shot up to cover your mouth, and your eyes widened. You did call him a jerk.
"I missed my blind date last week because of you, Choi Seungcheol! Do you know how lonely I've been, working for you? I bet you donât, because you're off gallivanting with your supermodel girlfriend while Iâm stuck with your endless schedule!"
"Ms. Ji, I donât have aâ" Seungcheol started, but you cut him off, your words coming faster than your brain could keep up.
"How are you going to take responsibility for that, huh, Mr. Choi? Do you even want to be my date? No? Well, then thereâs no reason for me to stick around. Iâm out of here! Iâm leaving, you jerk! You big, dumb, heartless jerk boss!"
You leaned back in his chair like you were starring in your own drama series, dramatic pause and all. Of course, you tried to keep your distance, but Seungcheol was standing right next to you, practically breathing down your neck. The closest you could get to escaping was a meter awayâone meterâas if that would be enough to save you from this mortifying moment. You could practically hear the earth laughing at you, but not helping you disappear.
"You remember now?" Seungcheolâs voice was amused, like heâd just stumbled upon a hidden gem. "I see, you forgot about it. No wonder youâve been acting all... normal since then."
You shouldâve been taking a dramatic exit, but instead, your brain was screaming for you to run to the nearest plane out of the country. You were so done.
"Iâm sorry, Mr. Choi. It was... I mean, I... Itâs just..." You froze, completely out of words. The awkward silence between you was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. You shoved your hands over your face, wishing you could just melt into the desk.
You quickly tried to apologize, your voice trembling slightly. "IâI'm really sorry, Mr. Choi. I didnât mean to... to... say all that. It was just the alcohol talking, you know? I wasnât thinking clearly."
Seungcheol paused for a moment, his expression shifting from teasing to something more thoughtful. He didnât look angry. In fact, he seemed... grateful? âYou know, I actually appreciate your honesty. I didnât realize how badly Iâve been treating you.â His eyes softened as he continued, âI guess it took you saying all that for me to really get it.â
You blinked, not sure how to respond. Was this really happening? Did Seungcheol just thank you for calling him a jerk? You were still in shock, but it felt... different now. Not bad, just unexpected.
Seungcheol leaned forward, his voice suddenly turning serious. âYou called me a jerk, but... about that offer to be your dateâ" He paused, glancing at you with a small, almost mischievous smile. "I meant it."
You immediately shook your head, trying to dismiss the idea. "Oh, no, no, no," you quickly interjected, waving your hands dismissively. "Please, forget that, Mr. Choi. Besides, you have a girlfriend. Iâm not about to get mixed up in that drama."
Seungcheol raised an eyebrow, unfazed. He didnât back down. âIâm serious, Ms. Ji. I want to take you out. No work, no obligations, just you and me. Youâre not going to get rid of me that easily.â
You looked at him incredulously, half-laughing to yourself. "Are you... are you really serious right now?"
Seungcheol nodded, his voice low and sincere. âDead serious. I know I messed up, but Iâd like a chance to make it right. To be something more than just your boss. So, what do you say?â
You immediately felt a strange flutter of something in your chest. The idea of dating Seungcheol seemed ridiculousâtoo complicated, too messy. You had spent so much time thinking about leaving, about cutting ties with this company. You had worked your ass off for him, and now he was here, offering something completely different. Something unexpected.
You quickly shook your head again, trying to keep your composure. "IâI'm not sure what you're trying to do here, but I don't think dating you is the solution to this... whatever this is."
Seungcheolâs expression softened. âIâm not trying to fix anything, Ms. Ji. Iâm just trying to make sure you donât leave with regrets... especially when it comes to me.â His gaze held yours with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. âSo, just think about it, alright? No pressure.â
The words hung in the air, and despite your best efforts to shake the idea off, a small voice inside you couldn't help but wonder what it would be like...
Seungcheol let out a small, knowing smile as you kept shaking your head, clearly trying to dismiss the idea. "You know," he began, his tone suddenly light, "I don't actually have a girlfriend."
You froze, your hand halfway through waving him off. "What?"
"I donât have a supermodel girlfriend," he repeated, leaning back slightly, his arms crossing casually over his chest. "I mean, I mightâve brought someone to a social event, but that doesnât mean sheâs my girlfriend. You assumed a lot, didnât you?"
*
"What's going on between you and him?" Jeonghan asked, raising an eyebrow as he stepped out of Seungcheol's office this morning.
You glanced at him, raising your own brows. "What do you mean?"
Jeonghan rolled his eyes with a knowing smirk. "I saw you two stepping out of his car with a driver."
You shrugged nonchalantly. "We met on our way."
Jeonghan hummed, unconvinced. "He always drives himself to work, but today he brings a driver? Suspicious," he said, walking back to his desk with a grin.
You tried to shake off Jeonghanâs teasing and focused on your work. You walked over to Mingyuâs desk, where he was already sorting through some papers. "These two havenât fixed yet, so you need to make a call and finalize the date and time with the other party," you instructed. Mingyu immediately nodded, giving you a thumbs up.
As you turned back to your desk, your phone rang, and you quickly rushed to pick it up. Your eyes flickered to Seungcheolâs office, where he was standing by the door. You answered the call just as he made eye contact with you.
"Ms. Ji?" Seungcheolâs voice was calm but warm.
"Yes, Mr. Choi?" you replied.
"Do you have any plans for lunch?" he asked, his tone casual but with a hint of curiosity.
You paused for a moment, taken aback by the unexpected question. "Uh, no, not yet," you answered, trying to keep your voice steady. "Why?"
"Great. Come to my office, then. Iâd like to discuss something with you," he said, before hanging up.
You knocked softly on Seungcheol's office door before stepping inside. He was sitting at his desk, looking as composed as ever, but there was a warmth in his expression when he saw you.
"Ms. Ji," he greeted, his voice smooth. "Come in. Have a seat."
You hesitated for a moment, then took a seat across from him. The silence lingered briefly before he spoke again, his tone more casual than usual.
"I was thinking, since itâs almost lunch hour, why donât we go out and grab something to eat?" he suggested, leaning back in his chair slightly. "Iâll let you pick the place. Anywhere you want."
You blinked, caught off guard by the offer. This was... unexpected. Was he being genuine? Or was this just another one of his attempts to be "nice" when it suited him? You tried not to overthink it, but you couldnât help the feeling of unease creeping in.
"You... want me to pick the place?" you asked, raising an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that?"
He chuckled, the sound surprisingly warm. "Of course. Iâm sure you know better than I do whatâs good around here."
You thought for a moment. Choosing a lunch spot was something you usually did for Seungcheol, not with Seungcheol. Usually, lunch was a quick, impersonal affairâgrab something from the cafĂŠ downstairs or eat at your desk. But today, the offer felt different. You couldnât deny that a part of you was curious about what he was really up to.
"Alright, Iâll choose," you said, feeling a little bold. "But donât say I didnât warn you if it turns out to be something too casual for your taste."
Seungcheol raised his hands in mock surrender. "Iâll trust your judgment," he said with a grin. "Lead the way."
You nodded and stood up, your mind already racing through the possibilities of where to go.
"Thanks for the meal, Mr. Choi!" Mingyu cheered as he eagerly began inhaling his food, Jeonghan following suit with a satisfied hum. Seungcheol, however, sat at the head of the table with a polite but strained smile, poking at his food with none of Mingyu's enthusiasm.
You leaned closer, lowering your voice. "Is it to your liking, Mr. Choi?"
He sighed, briefly meeting your gaze before nodding curtly. "Itâs fine," he replied, though his tone suggested otherwise.
It dawned on you too late that you might have misunderstood him earlier. When he said he wanted to have lunch, you assumed it was a casual team lunch with all the secretariesâMingyu and Jeonghan included. So, youâd taken the liberty of booking a four-seat table at a decent restaurant and informing everyone.
You hadnât noticed until now that Seungcheolâs face had been slightly sour since stepping out of his office.
"Is this one of those farewell lunches for Ms. Ji?" Mingyu asked innocently in the middle of the meal, completely oblivious to the tension brewing.
Everyone froze. Jeonghan shot Mingyu a sharp look, and you cringed, knowing full well your resignation was still a sensitive topic for Seungcheol. It had only been three weeks since your notice, and the new secretary-in-training was nowhere near your level of efficiency. No boss wanted to lose a competent staff member, especially not one they relied on as much as Seungcheol relied on you.
Seungcheolâs fork paused mid-air before he cleared his throat and shook his head. "If this were a farewell lunch, it would need to be much grander than this, donât you think, Mr. Yoon?"
Jeonghan immediately nodded, catching on to the unspoken signal. "Absolutely, Mr. Choi. Iâll start planning one later. Ms. Ji has been with you for seven yearsâitâs only fitting to make it a big celebration."
Your eyes widened in surprise as you shook your head. "No, no. Really, thereâs no need for that. Itâs not exactly something to celebrate," you insisted, feeling a mix of awkwardness and guilt.
Seungcheol set down his fork and leaned back slightly, his gaze firmly on you. His lips curved into a small, enigmatic smile that sent a shiver down your spine. "Oh, donât be like that, Ms. Ji. Iâd like to treat you to something youâll never forget."
You froze, feeling your face heat up at the deliberate weight of his words. Before you could process what heâd just said, you choked on your food, your eyes watering as you coughed violently. Jeonghan jumped into action, handing you a glass of water while Mingyu leaned forward in concern.
"Are you okay?" Mingyu asked, looking genuinely worried.
You nodded hastily, gulping down the water while avoiding Seungcheolâs gaze. Meanwhile, the man in question calmly resumed eating his meal, a subtle smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, as if he hadnât just dropped that bombshell in front of his other staff.
Jeonghan and Mingyu exchanged curious glances, clearly aware that something unusual was going on. You, however, were too busy trying to regain your composure to notice. This lunch was not turning out the way youâd imagined.
"Ms. Ji... I'll drive you home," Seungcheol announced as he stepped out of his office, his tone leaving no room for negotiation.
You glanced up, startled, and then looked around the empty office. Jeonghan and Mingyu had already left, leaving you alone to crosscheck everything before calling it a day. "I donât think thatâs a good idea, Mr. Choi. Iâll just take the bus," you replied, trying to sound nonchalant.
Seungcheol frowned, clearly displeased. "Why? The bus is going to be packed at this hour." He checked his watch, then shifted his gaze back to you. His expression softened, but his stance remained firm as he leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.
"And besides," he continued, his lips curving into an easy smile, "I want that dinner date. Just the two of us."
Your breath hitched before you could stop it. "Mr. Choi... I..." You trailed off, your brain scrambling to process his words. A dinner date? With him? The thought sent your heart racing in ways you didnât want to admit.
He shrugged, utterly unbothered by your flustered state. "I told you, Ms. Ji, Iâd like to be your date. I want to get to know you better," he said, his tone so casual it was almost maddening.
Then, as if he had just decided on the matter, he clapped his hands together and straightened up. "Alright then, Iâll book a restaurant for dinner. We can watch the sunset beforehand." Without waiting for your response, he turned on his heel and disappeared into his office, leaving you standing there, utterly baffled.
Dinner? Sunset? With your soon-to-be ex-boss? Your mind raced. This was either going to be the most surreal experience of your lifeâor a disaster waiting to happen.
*
No, no, no. This couldnât be happening.
All the material for this morningâs meeting had disappeared from your computer, and to make matters worse, it seemed like your system had been attacked by a virus. Your computer was practically frozen and would need time to be repaired. Glancing at your watch, you realized there was only an hour left before the meeting started. Panic clawed at your chest as you made a beeline for Seungcheolâs office.
âIâm so sorry for disturbing you,â you blurted out, cutting into Seungcheol and Jeonghanâs morning conversation as you barged into the room, not bothering with pleasantries.
âWhatâs wrong, Ms. Ji?â Seungcheol asked, his brows furrowed in concern.
âMy computerâs been attacked by a virus, and I canât access the materials for the morning meeting. Is it okay if I use your computer, Mr. Choi?â
Without hesitation, Seungcheol stood from his chair, gesturing for you to take his place. âGo ahead.â
You quickly logged into his system and started searching, your fingers flying over the keyboard. But as you combed through his files, a sinking feeling settled in your stomach. âYou canât find it either?â Seungcheolâs voice broke the tense silence, sounding as baffled as you felt. âIâm sure I finalized the file and saved it. It should be here.â
âItâs gone,â you said grimly, turning to look at him. âEven the recycle bin is empty.â
âWhat about Mingyu? Does he have a backup?â Jeonghan asked as you all hurried out of Seungcheolâs office, heading to the workstation to regroup.
You shook your head in frustration. âI havenât handed the final version over yet. Mingyu only manages the schedules and documents that need signing."
Jeonghan patted your shoulder sympathetically. âItâs okay, donât panic. Weâll figure it out. We can finish this in 30 minutes if we work together.â
Taking a deep breath, you nodded and sat at Jeonghanâs desk, taking over his computer. Opening the last version of the file, you began revising it at a frantic pace. âI donât know whatâs wrong with me lately,â you muttered, your fingers trembling slightly as you typed. âMaybe Iâve been too distracted.â
Jeonghan shook his head, offering a small smile. âYouâve been juggling so much; itâs bound to happen. Just focusâweâve got this.â
The clock ticked closer to the meeting time, and the pressure mounted. Mingyu darted into the room, his face lined with worry. âThe printer broke down,â he said apologetically. âSheâs trying to fix it, but itâll take at least five more minutes.â
Jeonghan let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. âGreat. Just what we needed.â
In the meeting room, heads of departments and their assistants were already seated, shuffling in their chairs as they sipped coffee and waited. Mingyu quickly returned, distributing refreshments in an effort to keep them placated.
âIs everything settled?â Seungcheol asked as Jeonghan re-entered his office, his voice calm but tinged with impatience.
âIâm afraid weâll need to delay the meeting. Itâs taking longer than expected to fix everything,â Jeonghan admitted.
Seungcheol nodded thoughtfully, glancing at his watch. âAnnounce to everyone that the meeting will start in fifteen minutes. Iâll handle the delay personally.â
Jeonghan gave a quick nod, rushing out to relay the message, while you continued frantically typing at Jeonghanâs desk. Though the tension was palpable, you reminded yourself to stay calm. There wasnât any room for error now.
âFocus, Ms. Ji,â you whispered to yourself, steeling your nerves as you worked against the clock.
âThe meeting is delayed for 15 minutes, and you printed out the wrong document?â Mr. Park, the head of the marketing department, raised his voice, his tone cutting through the tense air as you handed out the material.
You froze, glancing down at the section he was pointing at. Your heart dropped when you realized he was right. The document you printed wasnât their presentationâit was entirely unrelated. You were sure it was the correct file when you sent it to print, but now, staring at it, there was no denying the mistake.
âIâm so sorry. Iâll fix it immeââ
Before you could finish, Mr. Park threw the paper onto the table with a loud thud. âThis is unacceptable! How do we expect to run a successful meeting with this level of incompetence? I knew something like this would happen when they decided to overburden the directorâs secretary team instead of hiring specialized staff for each department.â
You flinched at his words, bowing your head in shame. Whispers broke out among the other heads of departments. Some seemed to agree with Mr. Park, nodding subtly, while others exchanged concerned looks.
The door opened, and Seungcheol stepped in, his commanding presence making everyone rise to their feet. His sharp eyes scanned the room, immediately locking onto you, standing there with your head lowered, tension radiating off your frame. Papers were scattered across the table, a clear sign of discord.
Seungcheolâs gaze flicked to Mingyu, who leaned in to whisper a quick explanation. As Seungcheol listened, his jaw tightened briefly before he nodded. Straightening his posture, he addressed the room with a calm but authoritative tone.
âThank you so much, Ms. Ji, for your hard work,â he began, his voice cutting through the silence like a knife. âSomeone from the marketing department, please accompany Ms. Ji to ensure the correct material is printed this time.â
His eyes shifted to Mr. Park, who immediately lowered his gaze, uncomfortable under Seungcheolâs direct attention. âIt takes patience to get things right,â Seungcheol added, his tone firm but controlled, âand patience is something we all need to practice.â
You felt a rush of gratitude and embarrassment as Seungcheol diffused the situation, taking the spotlight off you. Nodding quickly, you turned to one of the marketing assistants, signaling them to follow you out of the room.
As you left, Seungcheolâs calm but commanding words lingered in the room, leaving no space for further criticism. Instead, the atmosphere shifted as everyone quietly reorganized themselves for the meeting ahead.
*
"You're not taking lunch," Seungcheol observed as he stepped out of his office, heading to grab a meal. He glanced around, noticing that both Mingyu and Jeonghan were nowhere to be seenâthey must have left already, leaving you alone.
You shook your head, adjusting your posture in your seat. "Iâm fine, Mr. Choi," you replied, your face carefully composed with professional restraint.
Seungcheol frowned slightly but took a few steps closer, leaning his frame casually against the edge of your desk. "Is it because of what happened this morning?" he asked, his tone softer now.
You hesitated before shrugging, unable to completely mask the frustration bubbling under your calm exterior. "I mean... I canât just shake it off like nothing happened. And honestly, Iâm sorry for messing up like that."
He crossed his arms and tilted his head, studying your face. "This is the first time, isnât it?"
You sighed, running a hand through your hair. "I canât believe it myself. Seven years without a major mistake, and then this happens," you muttered, more to yourself than him.
Seungcheol let out a quiet chuckle, the sound both warm and reassuring. "Thatâs an improvement, then. No one goes seven years without a single mistakeâit just means youâre human."
You glanced up at him, your lips curving into a faint, tired smile. "And thatâs exactly the point, Mr. Choi. Iâve set a standard for myself, and now Iâve blown it. Maybe Mr. Park was rightâI might really be incompetent."
His expression hardened at your words, and he straightened slightly. "Thatâs not how I see it, Ms. Ji," he said firmly. "Whatever Mr. Park said has no bearing on your competence. I supervise you, and I know the quality of your work better than anyone here."
His confidence in you was disarming, and you found yourself relaxing just a little under his steady gaze. "Thank you, Mr. Choi. That means more than you realize," you admitted softly, your voice almost breaking with relief.
Seungcheol glanced at his watch and then back at you. "Weâve got thirty minutes left before the break ends," he said thoughtfully. His eyes softened, and a small smile tugged at his lips. "What do you say we grab some sandwiches together? My treat."
The offer caught you off guard. You blinked up at him, unsure whether to accept or refuse. "Are you sure?" you asked cautiously, not wanting to impose.
"Positive," he said, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Youâve been beating yourself up all morning. A good sandwich and some fresh air might do you good. Come on."
With a reluctant but grateful nod, you stood up. For the first time since the chaotic meeting earlier, you felt a flicker of comfort creeping back into your day.
"I thought we were going to sit down and eat," you said, taking a bite of your sandwich while walking back to the company building.
Seungcheolâs suit had been left behind in his office, leaving him in a dark grey dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His tie was loosened slightly, giving him an unexpectedly casual air as he took a bite of his own sandwich. He shook his head at your comment, chewing quickly. "We donât have time for that," he said, his voice muffled.
You giggled at the sight of him, noticing a crumb stuck on his cheek. "Youâve got something on your face," you said, pointing.
He immediately tried to wipe it off but missed.
"Here, let me," you offered, stepping closer. Without a second thought, you used a napkin to gently clean his cheek. Your fingers brushed his skin briefly, and Seungcheol froze mid-chew, his eyes locking on yours.
"All clean," you said, stepping back with a smile before taking another bite of your sandwich, oblivious to the faint blush creeping up his neck.
"I told you not to call me Mr. Choi when weâre outside," he teased, trying to mask his flustered expression.
You laughed softly, shaking your head. "Itâs weird to call you casually when Iâve been calling you Mr. Choi for the past seven years."
Seungcheolâs expression shifted slightly, a thoughtful look settling on his face. "Last night," he began, his voice softer now. "When you told me why you donât drive anymoreâŚ"
Your steps faltered for a moment, but he stopped completely at the crosswalk as the pedestrian signal turned red.
"Did it happen here?" he asked gently, his eyes scanning the intersection.
You nodded, the food in your hand suddenly feeling much heavier. The memory, though buried, resurfaced vividly as if it had happened yesterday.
Seven years ago. Youâd just started working with Seungcheol after his father had passed away, and the transition had been anything but smooth. Unlike his father, Seungcheol had seemed colder, more distant. His way of doing things clashed with what you were used to, and the tension in the secretary team had been palpableâespecially for you.
That morning, your car had broken down, and youâd decided to walk to get Seungcheolâs favorite coffee. You were already flustered, trying to make a good impression despite your frustrations with him. Then, everything changed.
You had witnessed itâa car collision right before your eyes. The screeching tires, the bone-chilling sound of impact, the desperate cries of onlookers. And then, the blood. You still remembered how it splattered onto your blouse and face, how your legs had frozen in place, unable to move.
"Y/n? Where are you? We have a meeting in an hour, and Mr. Choi has been asking for his coffee," Jeonghan had called, his voice impatient through the phone.
Youâd managed to drag yourself to the office after buying a new blouse, your hands trembling the entire time. Yet, instead of compassion, youâd been met with Seungcheolâs sharp reprimand for forgetting his coffee. The sting of that moment had stayed with you for years.
And now, you couldnât believe you had shared it all with him last night, over casual conversation, when heâd asked why you no longer drove.
The pedestrian signal turned green, snapping you out of your thoughts. But before you could move, a hand gently gripped yours.
Seungcheolâs warm fingers curled around yours, grounding you in the present. He led you across the road, his pace steady, his grip firm yet comforting.
You glanced at him, surprised by the gesture. His gaze remained forward, focused on the path ahead. Yet, the warmth of his hand in yours spoke volumes, a quiet reassurance that lingered even after youâd crossed the street.
*
The complaints began to pour in like an unrelenting tide. Every time you opened your inbox, you found more emails from department heads, their tone varying from formal discontent to outright disdain. Words like incompetence, unprofessional, and unacceptable were repeated so often they seemed to blur together, creating a cloud of frustration and doubt in your mind.
What made it worse were the thinly veiled accusations of favoritism. Several emails implied that Seungcheolâs supposed bias toward you was undermining the secretary teamâs performance and credibility. The insinuation was like a dagger, cutting into the teamâs morale and creating an atmosphere heavy with unease.
It wasnât long before you noticed the shift among your colleagues. Mingyu, usually cheerful and talkative, had grown quieter. His usual playful remarks were absent during lunch breaks, replaced by an awkward silence. Even Jeonghan, who always maintained an easygoing demeanor, seemed troubled, though he tried to hide it behind his usual smirks and teasing words.
âIgnore those emails,â Jeonghan said one afternoon, leaning against your desk. He spoke casually, but his eyes held a seriousness that betrayed his concern. âItâs the marketing department stirring up trouble again. Theyâve been trying to undermine the secretary team for years.â
You glanced at him, startled. âWhy would they do that? What do they have to gain?â
Jeonghan shrugged, his lips curling into a bitter smile. âPower dynamics, politics, controlâyou name it. Ever since Mr. Choi took over, the marketing department hasnât been happy. They thrived under his fatherâs management because they were given more autonomy, but Mr. Choiâs stricter policies clipped their wings. Theyâve been retaliating ever since.â
âAnd weâre caught in the middle,â you murmured, feeling the weight of the situation settle over you.
Jeonghan nodded. âExactly. Theyâre using the secretary team as a scapegoat to make Mr. Choi look bad. And now that theyâve noticed how close you and him seem lately, theyâre exploiting it to fuel their narrative.â
Your stomach churned at his words. The accusations werenât just baseless; they were carefully orchestrated attacks designed to destabilize the entire team.
âBut what can we do?â you asked, your voice tinged with helplessness. âIf this continues, itâll ruin our reputationâand Mr. Choiâs.â
Jeonghan leaned closer, lowering his voice. âWe fight back, but carefully. First, we need to fix the immediate issuesâno more mistakes, no more complaints. Then, we gather evidence. If we can prove the marketing department is behind this sabotage, weâll turn the tables on them.â
Seungcheol walked you to your door after he drove you home, his steps calm but purposeful. "You donât have to worry about all the complaints," he said, his voice smooth, but there was a knowing look in his eyes as he bid you goodbye.
"You saw them too?" you asked, your voice a little strained from the weight of it all. He nodded with a small grin. "Receiving complaints is part of my job, you know," he teased, throwing you a wink as if he were trying to make light of the situation.
"So you know theyâre all from Mr. Parkâs people?" you asked, unable to hide the slight bitterness in your voice.
He smiled, that reassuring smile of his. "I told you, you donât have to worry about that," he said, his tone confident, almost as if he already had everything under control.
You lowered your head, feeling the weight of it all. You were involved now, and the rumors were only growing. Whispers of your relationship with him were circulating the office, and worse, someone had posted pictures of the two of you on the company community page. It felt impossible to escape.
Seungcheol seemed to sense your unease. "Hey," he said, his voice gentle, "itâs just a month left before you leave. A little plot twist will make it great, right?" His words were meant to lighten the mood, and you couldnât help but chuckle at the thought.
He reached for your hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Weâll be fine. Iâll be fine. Donât worry."
You hesitated for a moment, then asked, "You want to come inside?" You bit your lip, unsure of how heâd respond. Would he take the offer seriously, or was it too much, too soon?
After a brief pause, he sent a quick message to his driver. Moments later, he was already seated on your couch, his suit jacket and tie discarded, his sleeves rolled up casually.
"I expect this kind of vibe," Seungcheol remarked as his eyes wandered around your apartment, taking in the cozy space. His gaze lingered on everything, from the soft lighting to the quiet hum of your personal sanctuary.
"Two rooms?" he asked, a curious glint in his eyes. You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips.
"Sometimes my brother visits. He lives in a dorm, but he stays here on his days off," you explained, your voice casual, but you felt a little self-conscious explaining it. You weren't sure why, but it felt like you were giving him a piece of your personal life you hadnât shared with anyone before.
"He's still training for the national team?" Seungcheol asked, and you looked at him, surprised that he remembered.
"You remembered?" you asked, your voice soft with disbelief.
Seungcheol nodded, his smile warm. "Of course, itâs you."
It was a casual evening after work, everyone gathered in the break room. Jeonghan and Seungcheol had just returned from a trip, and he couldnât wait to share some exciting news.
"My sister just got accepted into one of the top companies!" Jeonghan had announced, beaming with pride. "Weâre celebrating this weekend!"
The team cheered, raising their glasses in a toast. It was a happy moment, and you couldnât help but feel a little nostalgic for the simplicity of those times.
Seungcheol had joined in, his voice nonchalant but with a hint of pride. "My brother decided to go into the culinary field instead of business," he had mentioned. "Can you believe it? A chef, not a businessman."
Youâd overheard it all, and for some reason, it had stayed with youâhow casually everyone shared their family stories, how different yet similar your lives were.
Seungcheolâs voice broke through your thoughts. "Do you have siblings, Ms. Ji?" he asked, his tone playful, though there was a touch of curiosity beneath the words.
"She has a brother," Jeonghan had added once, with a wink. "Do you know Ji Chang Wook, the former football player? Thatâs her brother."
Seungcheol raised his eyebrows, clearly surprised. "Really?" he asked, looking at you with a mix of disbelief and admiration.
You nodded shyly. "He now works for the national team as their coach."
Seungcheolâs eyes softened, impressed. "Thatâs incredible," he said. "Youâre surrounded by greatness."
You smiled at his words, feeling a swell of pride for your brother. As the conversation shifted back to the present, you placed a glass of iced tea on the coffee table for Seungcheol before settling back onto the couch next to him.
"How am i as a boyfriend?" Seungcheol suddenly asked, his question coming out of nowhere. You let out a soft chuckle at his unexpected inquiry. His gaze was playful, yet there was something deeper beneath it, as if he was genuinely waiting for your answer.
You paused, thinking about how to answer. "I donât know that youâd be willing to go down with a mere secretary staff like me, Mr. Choi," you teased, trying to mask the flutter of uncertainty in your chest.
Seungcheol rolled his eyes at the "Mr. Choi." He had been correcting you ever since the beginning, insisting you call him Seungcheol.
"Can I ask you a question?" you asked, your voice tentative. He nodded, leaning in slightly, his expression serious.
"Why were you being an asshole at the beginning?" you asked, the words slipping out before you could stop them. It wasnât the most delicate way to phrase it, but you couldnât help yourself.
Seungcheol closed his eyes, clearly not thrilled about being reminded of his past behavior. "I was a lowly bastard, wasnât I?" he admitted, his voice quiet, almost regretful. "Iâm sorry... I was just very insecure."
"Insecure?" you repeated, surprised by his honesty.
He nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips as he reached out to brush a stray hair from your face. "My father passed away, and my brother didnât want to take over the business. I didnât have enough experience to rule a company. I was just trying to figure things out."
You blinked, caught off guard. "I had no idea about that."
Seungcheol nodded again, his gaze softening. "I made sure no one knew about it. But I broke down at one point, and Jeonghan helped me a lot. You did, too. You always did your best at work. But I just..." He trailed off, his fingers grazing your skin as he continued, "I didnât want to get distracted by you. Maybe thatâs why I treated you so badly."
You furrowed your brow in confusion. "Distracted? By me? How come?" You chuckled, still processing the idea. Was it really possible?
Seungcheolâs smile deepened, and his gaze softened. "I used to like you a lot. My father always spoke highly of you, and I couldnât help but admire you."
"No way," you whispered, your eyes widening in disbelief.
"Iâm serious," he said, his voice steady and sincere. "You were always shining at that desk of yours."
You laughed, the sound a mix of disbelief and warmth. "Since when?" you asked, your curiosity piqued.
"Since you visited my house," he said, his tone turning nostalgic. "I saw how you treated my fatherâso professional, yet so graceful. I tried to find a secretary like you, but I guess thereâs only one of you."
Your heart skipped a beat as you looked at him, the realization settling in. Despite all the tension and confusion, there was something undeniably genuine about his words, and for the first time in a while, it felt like things between you and Seungcheol might finally be falling into place.
Seungcheol leaned in closer, his eyes fixed on your lips, the moment growing more intimate with every passing second. Just as you felt your breath hitch, the sound of someone punching in the passcode to your door broke the tension, startling both of you.
âY/n! I brought someââ The baritone voice trailed off abruptly as the door swung open, revealing a tall, broad-shouldered man carrying two plastic bags. His steps halted, and his eyes widened as he took in the scene before him. His sister, tangled up with a stranger on the couch, looking far too close for comfort.
You and Seungcheol scrambled apart, both of you stumbling to your feet as if caught red-handed.
âDid I interrupt something?â the man asked, his tone sharp and accusatory. His gaze darted between you and Seungcheol before settling on you. âWhoâs this, Y/n?â
Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you tried to compose yourself. âUh... this is Choi Seungcheol, my... my boss,â you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper.
Seungcheol extended a hand, his expression polite and composed despite the awkwardness of the situation. âItâs nice to meet you. Iâmââ
âYour boss?â the man interrupted, completely ignoring the handshake. His eyes narrowed as he turned his attention back to you. âHeâs the one who made you work overtime and miss my birthday?â
You froze. Shoot. You had vented about Seungcheol to your brother countless times, never expecting him to meet the man himself.
âOppa, itâs not like that,â you tried to explain, but your brother wasnât having it.
âYou talked ill of him to me all the time,â Changwook said, his tone laced with disbelief and a hint of anger. His grip on your arm tightened slightly as he pulled you further away from Seungcheol. âWhy is he here now? In your apartment?â
Your mind raced, searching for an explanation that wouldnât make things worse. âWeâre... umm...â You waved your hands in the air helplessly, your words failing you.
Seungcheol, however, didnât hesitate. âIâm her boyfriend,â he said firmly, his voice steady and confident as he stepped forward.
Your eyes widened in shock at his bold declaration. âThatâsââ you started, but the words died in your throat as your brotherâs gaze hardened, his protective instincts kicking in.
âBoyfriend?â Changwook echoed, his voice filled with skepticism as he gave Seungcheol a once-over. âSince when? And why am I just now hearing about this?â
You cringed inwardly, feeling trapped between Seungcheolâs unexpected claim and your brotherâs scrutiny. The fact that youâd spent months complaining about Seungcheol didnât help. How did I end up here?
âChangwook, calm down,â you said, trying to diffuse the situation. âItâs... new.â
âNew?â your brother repeated, his frown deepening as his eyes bored into you. âHow new? And why would you date your boss of all people? Especially someone youâve always badmouthed?â
You felt the blood drain from your face. Youâre dead, your mind screamed at you, but before you could even attempt a defense, your brother turned to you with an authoritative wave of his hand.
âGo to your room,â Changwook said firmly, his tone brooking no argument. âThis is a menâs conversation.â
*
You were trapped between two drunken men. Changwook, still pouring himself another shot of soju, mumbled incoherently about everything under the sun, while Seungcheol, clearly in no better condition, had his head dropped onto your shoulder. The weight of him was comforting yet overwhelming, especially with the alcohol fumes wafting off him.
"Our Y/n couldnât drink dairy, so you have to make sure her latte is always with oat milk,â Changwook slurred, his words slightly jumbled as he tried to sit up straight. He pointed a wobbly finger at Seungcheol as though delivering a life-or-death instruction.
Seungcheol gasped dramatically, his head lifting momentarily before snuggling back into the crook of your neck. âOur Y/n canât handle dairy? Oh my god, poor Y/n!â His words came out in a hushed, exaggerated whisper. âIâll buy you tons of oat milk, Y/n. Gallons of it! So youâll never, ever get a stomachache again!â
You tried to suppress your laugh, but a chuckle escaped as Seungcheol tightened his arms around your waist, nuzzling into your neck like a sleepy puppy. He smelled like soju mixed with the faint remnants of his cologneâa mix that somehow still made your heart skip.
âAlright, Mr. Gallant Knight,â you murmured, brushing his hair back gently. âLetâs get you home before you start a crusade against all dairy products.â
âNooo,â Seungcheol whined softly, his voice muffled against your skin. âLet me stay here. I promise I wonât do anything! Iâll sleep on the floor if I have to, cross my heart.â
You shook your head, unable to contain your amusement. He was far too cute like this. âAlright, fine,â you relented with a small smile. âBut weâre at least getting you into bed. Letâs get up on the count of three, okay?â
Seungcheol groaned in protest, but you felt him adjust slightly, his arms loosening around your waist.
âOne,â you began, bracing yourself. âTwo⌠threeâ"
You tried to pull him up, but Seungcheol, true to his drunken state, flopped back onto the couch like a boneless doll.
âToo heavy,â he mumbled, pouting. âYou have to help me, Y/n. Iâm weak, but youâre strong.â
âStrong?â you repeated with a laugh. âWhat are you even talking about? Youâre twice my size!â
âExactly,â Seungcheol replied, his tone overly serious. âThatâs why youâre amazing. Youâre tiny but mighty.â
From across the room, Changwook let out a grunt as he finally rose from his seat, wobbling slightly before glaring at Seungcheol. âStop flirting with my sister, you lightweight,â he muttered, pointing a finger at him before stumbling toward his room. âAnd donât you dare think about sharing a bed with her!â
âNoted, Coach Ji,â Seungcheol mumbled sleepily, waving his hand in the air.
You sighed, shaking your head as you tugged at Seungcheolâs arm again. âCome on, big guy. Letâs at least get you lying down before Changwook comes back with a lecture.â
Seungcheol finally complied, leaning heavily on you as you helped him to your room. âThanks, Y/n,â he murmured, his voice soft. âYouâre the best.â
âYeah, yeah,â you said, rolling your eyes but smiling nonetheless. âJust donât puke on my bed, okay?â
âIâd never,â he promised, his words slurring as he flopped onto your mattress, instantly dozing off.
You sighed again, pulling a blanket over him before retreating to the couch. As you settled in, you couldnât help but smile at the chaos that was your lifeâand at the man now snoring softly in your bed.
âWhereâs Mr. Choi? Heâs not here yet?â Mingyuâs voice broke the usual morning buzz of the office. He glanced around, noting the conspicuous absence of the boss. It was already 8 a.m., and Mr. Choi was typically seated at his desk by 7:45, meticulously reviewing his schedule or flipping through a book.
Jeonghan checked his watch and frowned. âI know, right? He hasnât called or texted me either. Do you think heâs sick or something?â he wondered aloud, a hint of concern creeping into his tone.
âHeâs late,â you mumbled, barely glancing up from your phone as you replied.
âHow do you know that?!â Mingyu and Jeonghan exclaimed in unison, their voices tinged with surprise.
âHe texted me,â you replied nonchalantly, still focused on your phone.
Mingyuâs jaw dropped, and he pouted, looking genuinely hurt. âHe texted you? But not me? He still doesnât trust me with his schedule. What if he hates me?â he whined, the last part almost a whisper.
You chuckled softly, grabbing a stack of documents from your desk and placing them in front of him. âThatâs why Iâm tutoring you today. Weâre going over how to prepare presentation materials and manage other tasks.â
Mingyu sighed dramatically but couldnât hide the small smile tugging at his lips. âAlrightâŚâ He reluctantly took the documents, the pout still lingering on his face, but his determination to improve was clear.
Suddenly, Jeonghanâs voice interrupted the moment. âOhâŚâ
Both you and Mingyu turned toward him, brows furrowed. âWhatâs wrong?â you asked, stepping over to Jeonghanâs desk.
Jeonghan didnât answer immediately, his eyes fixed on his computer screen. His lips pressed into a thin line as he stared at something. Curiosity got the better of you, and you leaned in to look.
On the screen was a post from the companyâs internal community. The headline read, âMr. Park Is Caught!â Beneath it was a photo of Seungcheol standing in the marketing department alongside the head of HR.
Your brows knitted together. âWhatâs that supposed to mean? Is Mr. Choi investigating him behind our backs?â
Jeonghan bit his lip, his gaze still glued to the screen. âLooks like itâŚâ he murmured.
You quickly scanned the comments below the post. Employees from the marketing department were sharing snippets of gossip. Someone had claimed that Mr. Park had been caught falsifying records and embezzling departmental funds.
Mingyu, who had walked over to peek at the screen, let out a low whistle. âWow. I didnât think Mr. Park would actually get caught.â
You frowned, a mix of surprise and worry swirling in your chest. âHe didnât mention any of this to us,â you said softly, almost to yourself.
Jeonghan finally looked away from the screen, his expression thoughtful. âIf heâs handling this personally, it must be serious.â
Mingyu crossed his arms, tilting his head. âWell, if Mr. Parkâs really guilty, itâs good that Mr. Choiâs taking action. But why keep it so secretive? I mean, weâre his team.â
Jeonghan sighed and leaned back in his chair. âItâs probably because this involves embezzlement. You know how sensitive that kind of accusation is. He probably didnât want anyone tipping Mr. Park off before he had solid evidence.â
You nodded slowly, processing everything. âStill, I hope Mr. Choiâs being careful. This kind of situation can get messy.â
Jeonghan gave you a knowing look but didnât say anything. Mingyu, however, turned to you with a cheeky grin. âWow, youâre so concerned about him. Are you sure youâre not his girlfriendâ
You shot him a glare, heat rising to your cheeks. âShut up and get back to your documents, Mingyu.â
He laughed, holding up his hands in mock surrender. âAlright, alright. But seriously, Iâm curious how this all plays out.â
Jeonghan nodded, his gaze returning to the screen. âMe too. If Mr. Parkâs really guilty, this could shake things up in the company.â
You bit your lip, silently hoping Seungcheol would return soonâwith answers.
Seungcheolâs arrival on the floor sent a wave of tension through the secretary team. His usual composed demeanor was even more rigid than usual, and without wasting a second, he summoned Jeonghan into his office. The atmosphere was thick with curiosity and unease, but you kept your head down, silently supervising Mingyu as he prepared materials for tomorrowâs meeting with all the department heads.
âSo, whatâs Mr. Parkâs status now?â Mingyu asked, flipping through a document from the marketing department. His voice was casual, but his eyes betrayed his curiosity.
You shook your head. âI donât know, Mingyu, and honestly, I donât want to fill my head with too much right now. Iâm leaving this company in a week, remember?â
Mingyu sighed, setting his pen down. âYeah, I remember⌠But you know what? As much as I believe in myself, I canât help but worry. What if I canât replace you?â
You gave him a reassuring smile and patted his shoulder. âDonât worry, Mingyu. It took me seven years to get to where I am. Youâll get there too.â
Mingyu bit his lip, nodding. âYouâre right⌠Youâre really good at comforting people, Ms. Ji,â he said playfully, his usual pout returning.
You laughed. âOf course, I am! Now, finish this and send it to me before lunch.â
Just then, Jeonghan stepped out of Seungcheolâs office, his expression unreadable. The entire team turned their attention to him as he cleared his throat.
âMr. Park has officially been fired as of today. HR has concluded the investigation, and with all the evidence gathered, there was no room for negotiation. A replacement needs to be found as soon as possible. Thereâs already a potential candidate, but the final decision still needs to be made.â
A murmur spread across the room, but before you could react, Jeonghan turned to you. âCan we talk in private, Y/n?â
You blinked at him but nodded, following him to the pantry. The moment the door shut behind you, Jeonghan exhaled deeply, rubbing the back of his neck.
âMr. Choi mentioned your name as the potential head of the marketing department.â
Your eyes widened. âWhat do you mean?â
Jeonghan sighed, looking at you seriously. âI know itâs sudden, but he has his reasons. And honestly? After hearing him out, I found myself agreeing with him.â He still seemed surprised at himself for admitting that.
âBut⌠next week is my last day!â you protested, your voice rising slightly in disbelief.
Jeonghan placed a firm grip on your arms, steadying you. âListen to meâHR and Mr. Choi are definitely going to call you soon. You need to prepare yourself.â
You let out a frustrated sigh. âThatâs too much responsibility! You know I was planning to travel across Asia after this.â
Jeonghan chuckled, shaking his head. âAnd thatâs what youâre most worried about, huh?â His tone was amused, but there was also a hint of admiration in his eyes. âLook, whatever decision you make, Iâll support you. But just think about it, alright?â
Your mind was already spinning with the weight of the unexpected offer. A promotion just as you were about to leave? It was almost ironic.
"Ms. Ji, can you come to my office for a sec?"
You nearly jumped from your seat at the sudden sound of Seungcheolâs voice filling the secretary teamâs office. The room fell silent as all eyes darted toward him. He stood behind his office door, only half of his body visible as he peeked outside, waiting for you.
You stole a glance at Jeonghan, who was already looking at you, his expression unreadable but his eyes silently sending you a thousand words of encouragement. You sighed, smoothing down your blazer before standing up and making your way to Seungcheolâs office.
The moment you stepped inside, you noticed that the blinds had been down since this morning. You figured after the confrontation with Mr. Park, he must have needed some privacy.
"Mr. Choi," you called his name softly as you stopped in front of his desk.
Without a word, Seungcheol handed you a file. You hesitated for a moment before taking it, flipping it open to find pages upon pages of evidenceâproof of Mr. Parkâs embezzlement during his tenure as the head of the marketing department. Your brows furrowed. This file was supposed to be confidential, a matter strictly between him and HR. So why was he showing it to you? Especially when you were set to leave in just a week?
"You told me about this last night," he said, his voice calm but firm.
Your mind raced back to your conversation with him the night before. You had mentioned itâyour suspicions about the marketing departmentâs financial discrepancies. You had noticed missing reports from the past two years that didnât sit right with you. And despite your reluctance, you had handed him the findings you had gathered over time.
Wait.
Your eyes flickered up to Seungcheol, your expression shifting. "You werenât drunk?"
He smirked, leaning against the edge of his desk. "I was just acting."
Your breath hitched as the realization hit you. The way he had suddenly become lighter when he was supposedly dead weight on your shoulder last night. The way he had pulled you aside, listening intently as you spoke about the missing reports.
You didnât remember much about how the conversation had unfolded, but somehow, in that moment, you had found the courage to show him everything.
"And you were right," Seungcheol continued, pulling out another document from his deskâyour resignation letter.
Your heartbeat quickened.
"I have an offer for you," he said, his eyes never leaving yours. "Be our new head of the marketing department."
Silence hung in the air.
You stood frozen, the weight of his words sinking in.
"Youâre probably the only person who knows the ins and outs of the marketing department better than anyone else," he reasoned, his voice steady. And he wasnât wrong. You had spent the past seven years collecting reports, reviewing files, and meticulously studying every department before handing them over to him. You knew how the department functioned, where its strengths and weaknesses lay.
But despite the logic in his argument, you couldnât bring yourself to answer. Not now. It was too sudden, too unexpected. You knew Seungcheol always had a planâhe never made decisions lightly. But the real question was, were you ready for more?
"What do you think, Ms. Ji?" His voice was softer now, laced with something you couldnât quite place.
You swallowed, taking a deep breath before finally speaking. "Iâll think about it, sir."
Seungcheol studied you for a moment, his expression unreadable, before nodding. "Alright. You can go back."
That was your cue to leave. You turned on your heels, stepping out of his office, your mind a whirlwind of thoughts.
Why did everything suddenly lead to this?
*
"Want to talk about it?" Seungcheolâs voice was soft as he cuddled you close, his warmth seeping into your skin. His hand moved lazily through your hair, fingers tracing slow, comforting patterns.
He had invited you over tonight after you received a text from your brother, letting you know he was having friends over. You hadnât wanted to be home with all the noise, and without asking too many questions, Seungcheol had offered his place. Now, nestled against him, your head resting on his shoulder and your arm draped around his torso, you felt the weight of the day pressing down on you.
"I'm all ears," he murmured, sensing your hesitation about his earlier offer.
Doubt flickered through you before you finally spoke. "Are you..." You hesitated. "Are you going to listen to me as my boss or as my boyfriend?"
Seungcheol hummed thoughtfully. "I'll decide after."
His answer caught you off guard. It sounded too neutral, almost detached, and something about it stung more than you expected. Without thinking, you shifted away from him, turning your back.
"Hey," Seungcheol's arm immediately wrapped around your waist, pulling you back against him. His grip was firm yet gentle, grounding.
"Tell me, baby," he coaxed, his breath warm against the back of your neck. "I'll listen to you as your partner. Go ahead."
Slowly, you turned back to face him, meeting his steady gaze. "I donât want to accept the offer."
Seungcheol said nothing, only watching you carefully, his fingers tightening slightly on your waist, a silent sign that he was listening.
"Itâs too much for me," you admitted. "A big responsibility. And I donât think Iâm cut out for thatâIâm not that passionate about it."
Seungcheol frowned. "You're a very passionate person, Y/n."
You shook your head. "Not about this. Not anymore." A deep sigh left your lips. "I'm tired of working, Cheol. I just want to travel the world, maybe get a job with less responsibility. Something that doesnât drain me like this."
Seungcheol remained quiet, his dark eyes locked onto yours, absorbing every word. His fingers traced absentminded circles on your waist, a silent reminder that he was there, that he heard you.
"I need a break," you whispered, voice barely audible. "Before I break."
Something flickered in Seungcheolâs expressionâregret, concern, maybe even guilt. He pressed a gentle kiss to your temple. "Iâm sorry," he murmured, his lips lingering for a moment. "I didnât realize how much youâve been carrying. And Iâ" He exhaled sharply. "Iâve been a jerk, havenât I?"
You let out a small laugh, shaking your head. "I think I wore myself out, Cheol. I hit my limit."
Seungcheol nodded, his thumb brushing along your cheek. "Then you should rest. You need to rest. Or else youâre going toâ"
"Explode," you finished for him, smiling faintly. "Like when I called you drunk months ago."
A chuckle rumbled from his chest, the tension in the air easing. "I should thank your drunk self. If not for that, I wouldnât have known my secretary wanted me to be her date.
You rolled your eyes, fingers threading through his hair. "Thatâs what you took from that?"
He grinned. "Well, that, and the fact that you canât handle your alcohol."
You swatted his arm playfully, and he caught your wrist, tugging you closer.
"I just want to stay home for a while," you murmured, your voice softer now. "Do things I actually enjoy. Maybe pick up a hobby. Get a pet." You sighed as if the mere thought of it was a relief. "And none of it involves going back to work anytime soon."
Seungcheol studied you, a small smile tugging at his lips. "You sound like a good wife."
You chuckled, raising a brow. "I would make a good wife."
His eyes twinkled with mischief. "Really?"
Before you could answer, he tackled you onto the bed, his hands finding your sides as he tickled you mercilessly. Laughter filled the room as you squirmed beneath him, the weight of your earlier worries momentarily forgotten.
Your heart raced as Seungcheol hovered above you, his eyes dark with warmth and something deeperâsomething that made your breath hitch. His weight against you was comforting rather than overwhelming, his presence grounding.
"You tried my cooking earlier," you teased, giggling when he trailed soft kisses across your faceâyour forehead, your cheek, the tip of your nose. Each touch was featherlight, sending a shiver down your spine.
Seungcheol hummed in agreement, his lips brushing against your skin as he whispered, "Youâll make a good wife."
Before you could react, he closed the distance, capturing your lips in a kissâslow and deliberate, as if savoring every second. His hand cradled your cheek, thumb stroking gently, while his other arm held you firmly against him, as if he never wanted to let go.
And in that moment, nothing else mattered.
*
It was your favorite placeâa simple barbecue restaurant where you and Jeonghan used to have dinner together during your early years at the company. The scent of grilled meat filled the air, blending with the warmth of laughter and chatter. Tonight, the atmosphere buzzed with a mix of celebration and bittersweet goodbyes as everyone gathered for your farewell party.
Seated around the long wooden tables were your colleaguesâthe secretary team members, department representatives, and even a few unexpected guests. Among them was Seungcheol, his presence instantly commanding attention. It was rare to see him at casual company gatherings like this, and his attendance left many curious. But since it was youâone of his most trusted employeesâwho was leaving, everyone assumed that was the reason he sat beside you, his presence a quiet yet significant statement.
After a while, you stood, clearing your throat as conversations died down. With a grateful smile, you delivered your speechâthanking everyone for their support, for the years of teamwork and shared challenges, and apologizing for any moments you might have fallen short.
When you finished, the room erupted into cheers and applause, glasses raised in a heartfelt toast. Laughter followed, but beneath it all was an unspoken truth: this chapter was ending, and things would never quite be the same again.
Seungcheol cleared his throat, the deep sound cutting through the lingering laughter and drawing everyone's attention like a switch had been flipped. Conversations faded, and all eyes turned to him.
He sat upright, his expression composed yet sincere. "First of all, I want to thank Ms. Ji for her hard work all these years," he began, his voice steady but carrying weight. "Sheâs been one of the most dedicated people in this company, and honestly, itâs hard to imagine this place without her. Weâre losing not just a talented employee but also someone who made things run smoother for all of us."
A murmur of agreement swept through the group, and you felt a mix of pride and guilt settle in your chest.
Seungcheol glanced at you briefly before continuing. "And... I also want to take this chance to apologize," he said, his tone softening. "For any unnecessary pressure, for the late nights, for expecting too much sometimes. I know I wasnât always the easiest boss to work with."
You shook your head slightly, about to reassure him, but before you could say anything, he inhaled deeply and, with absolute confidence, added,
"Also, since weâre all here, I think nowâs a good time to make an announcement."
You frowned, confused, and Jeonghanâwho was sipping his drink beside youâarched an eyebrow.
Seungcheolâs gaze met yours, then he turned back to the room. "Ms. Ji and I are dating."
A moment of silence. Thenâ
"What?!" Mingyu choked on his drink, coughing as Jeonghan patted his back. Gasps and murmurs spread through the group like wildfire. Even the usually composed members of the secretary team looked at each other in shock.
You stiffened, your body going rigid as the realization sank in. Your fingers clutched at the fabric of your dress under the table, your pulse hammering in your ears. Slowly, almost mechanically, you turned to Seungcheol, your voice barely above a whisper.
"Whatâwhy would youâ"
"Wait, wait, wait." Jeonghan put a hand up, smirking. "That's expected. Since when?"
Seungcheol chuckled, resting his arm on the back of your chair. "For a while now."
Meanwhile, Jeonghan just sat there, utterly amused, swirling his drink in his glass before finally saying, "So this is why youâve been sneaking around, huh?"
"Jeonghan!" You hissed, shooting him a glare, but he only shrugged, clearly enjoying your suffering.
Mingyu, still coughing slightly, gaped at Seungcheol like he had just grown a second head. "Wait, wait, waitâyou two?! Since when?! And why didnât I know?!"
Your face burned as everyoneâs eyes darted between you and him, trying to process the sudden revelation. Someone from marketing whispered, That explains why heâs actually here tonight.
"You couldâve warned me first," you hissed under your breath, still reeling from the shock.
Seungcheol leaned in slightly, his voice teasing, "Where's the fun in that?"
The room exploded into a mix of cheers, teasing remarks, and incredulous laughter. Some congratulated you, others demanded details, and Mingyu, still processing, just groaned, "Why am I always the last to know?!"
You sighed, covering your face, but despite the initial embarrassment, you couldnât help the small smile forming on your lips. Seungcheol had just made sure this farewell party was one no one would forget.
Your fingers twitched. If there werenât so many witnesses, you might have actually smacked him.
"So you two have actually been together this whole time?" One of the HR reps asked, her mouth still slightly open in disbelief. "Like, during work hours? During meetings? While she was still his secretary?"
Oh no. That was a dangerous line of questioning.
You opened your mouth, scrambling to regain some sort of control over the situation, but Seungcheol, of course, was faster.
"It started after work," he clarified, his voice smooth and nonchalant. "And itâs not like sheâs breaking any rules. Sheâs leaving the company, after all."
The way he said itâso effortlessly confidentâmade your stomach twist. You wanted to argue, to regain some control over this mess he had just thrown you into, but then you caught the way he was looking at you.
There was something possessive in his gaze, a quiet certainty that sent a shiver down your spine. He wasnât ashamed. He wasnât hiding.
And suddenly, the tension shifted.
"Youâre unbelievable," you muttered, barely able to contain the heat rising to your cheeks.
He chuckled, finally turning back to his drink. "And yet, youâre still here."
The table erupted into laughter, cheers, and even a few claps. Someone from the legal department shouted, "Well, damn. We need to drink to this!"
"Ohâanother thing to celebrate," Seungcheol announced, his voice effortlessly cutting through the laughter and clinking glasses.
You turned to him, sensing something in his tone, but before you could ask, he raised his glass.
"Congratulations to Mr. Yoon, our new Marketing Department Head."
A moment of silence hung in the air before the entire table erupted in cheers and applause.
"What?!" Mingyu nearly knocked over his drink in shock. "Jeonghan-hyung? When did this happen?"
Jeonghan, ever composed, simply smirked as he leaned back in his chair. "A while ago."
"You knew?!" Mingyu gawked at him before turning to Seungcheol. "And no one thought to tell me?!"
Seungcheol chuckled, completely unfazed. "HR finalized it this afternoon. He was my first choice from the start."
"Butâbutâ" Mingyu stammered, looking between you and Jeonghan. "I thought she was the best candidate?!"
You smiled, lifting your drink. "Iâm leaving, remember?"
Jeonghan shrugged, tapping his fingers against his glass. "And someone had to clean up after her, so here I am."
Laughter filled the table, and soon, everyone was raising their drinks toward Jeonghan, congratulating him on the promotion.
Seungcheol leaned in closer to you, his hand finding yours under the table. His voice was low, meant only for you.
"Now you really have no reason to stay at work."
You rolled your eyes playfully but squeezed his hand in return. "You planned all of this, didnât you?"
He smirked, his thumb brushing against your fingers. "Maybe. But I also knew it was whatâs best for everyone."
You sighed, glancing at Jeonghan, who was basking in the attention, and then at Seungcheol, who was watching you with that knowing look.
Despite everything, you couldnât deny itâthis felt right.
*
It had been ten months since you left the company, but something about Mingyu working as Seungcheolâs secretary still didnât sit right with you. This morning only confirmed your suspicions. Seungcheol, who once carried himself with unwavering composure, now sat at the breakfast table with noticeable dark circles under his eyes. You couldnât recall a single time in the past when he looked this tired.
âWhatâs your schedule like today?â you asked, setting a plate of breakfast in front of him along with a cup of freshly brewed coffee.
Seungcheol gave you a faint smile before replying, âJust a quick briefing with finance. Iâll probably be home late; I have a meeting with Joshua over dinner."
Your arms crossed as you stood beside the table, watching him. âYou never memorize your own schedule,â you pointed out, your tone laced with concern.
He nodded in agreement, his attention on his food. âI used to have Jeonghan to remind me about everything. And you,â he added, glancing up at you with a soft smile. âYou made sure everything ran smoothly.â
You watched him take another bite before leaning against the table. âHow many staff members is Mingyu working with?â you asked, your tone more curious this time.
Seungcheol chuckled, wiping the corner of his mouth. âWhy are you asking?â
âBecause itâs obvious youâre overworking yourself, babe,â you said bluntly, crossing your arms again.
He paused, his gaze softening as he looked at you. âIâm fine, love. Donât worry,â he reassured, though his voice didnât quite convince you. âMingyuâs my only secretary now, but the systemâs changed. Heâs managing just fine.â
You sighed and sat down in front of him, resting your chin on your hand. âIs Mingyu still an idiot?â
Seungcheol couldnât help but laugh, his tired expression lifting just a little. âHe is,â he admitted, shaking his head. âBut heâs getting better, I promise. Youâd be surprised.â
You werenât entirely convinced, and your frustration showed as you frowned at him. âYou used to come home looking less like a zombie,â you muttered.
Seungcheol reached across the table and took your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. âI know youâre worried,â he said, his voice soft. âBut really, Iâve got this. Mingyu may be a work in progress, but weâre managing.â
You squeezed his hand in return, but your concern lingered. âJust donât forget to take care of yourself, alright?â
He smiled at you, a warmth in his eyes that made you feel just a little more at ease. âI wonât. I promise.â
As Seungcheol finished the last bite of his breakfast, he leaned back in his chair and tilted his head slightly, his gaze softening as it shifted to you. "Howâs the baking class going?" he asked, his tone casual but genuinely curious.
You perked up slightly at his question, a smile tugging at your lips. "Itâs going really well. I finally mastered the chiffon cake yesterday," you said, your excitement seeping into your voice.
Seungcheol raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed. "The one you said was impossible to get right?"
You nodded eagerly. "Yep. It took me three tries, but I did it. The instructor even said I nailed the texture and flavor."
He smiled, the fatigue on his face momentarily fading as he watched you talk. "Look at you, becoming a pro baker already," he teased, though there was an unmistakable pride in his tone.
You chuckled, waving off his comment. "I wouldnât say âpro,â but itâs been fun. I didnât think Iâd enjoy baking as much as I do now."
Seungcheol leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table as he looked at you. "So, when are you going to let me taste this famous chiffon cake?"
You rolled your eyes playfully, leaning back in your chair. "Soon. I just want to perfect it a little more before I let you try it. Youâre too honest with your feedback," you said, narrowing your eyes at him with mock suspicion.
He laughed, the deep sound filling the room and making your chest warm. "You know I only critique because I care," he said, reaching out to poke your arm. "But fine. Iâll wait until you think itâs ready."
You smirked, crossing your arms. "You better. No sneaking bites when Iâm not looking."
"I wouldnât dare," he replied, his tone exaggeratedly serious.
The two of you fell into an easy silence for a moment, the tension from earlier easing as you both enjoyed the quiet morning together.
"Maybe," Seungcheol began, breaking the silence, "you could make a batch of something for Joshuaâs dinner meeting. He has a sweet tooth, you know."
You raised an eyebrow at him, pretending to be skeptical. "Are you volunteering me to impress your business partner with baked goods now?"
"Maybe," he admitted with a cheeky grin. "But only because I know youâd knock it out of the park."
You shook your head with a laugh, but you couldnât deny how his words filled you with a small sense of pride. "Fine," you said. "Iâll make some cookies or brownies. But you owe me."
Seungcheol smirked. "Deal. Iâll make it worth your while."
The restaurant was dimly lit, with soft jazz music playing in the background. Seungcheol sat across from Joshua at the private dining table, his posture relaxed but still exuding authority. Mingyu, seated beside him, diligently took notes and managed the documents for the formal part of the meeting.
The discussion went smoothly, with both parties agreeing on the next steps for their partnership. As the waiter cleared their plates and brought out coffee and dessert, the atmosphere gradually shifted to a more casual tone. Seungcheol leaned back in his chair, finally allowing himself to relax.
Joshua stirred his coffee, a friendly smile on his face as he looked at Mingyu. "I have to say, Mingyu, youâve really grown into your role. The professionalism youâve shown tonight is impressive. So different from how you were!"
Mingyu let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his neck. "Well, I had to step up, didnât I? Working for Seungcheol hyung isnât exactly a walk in the park."
Seungcheol chuckled, glancing at Mingyu with a raised eyebrow. "Are you complaining?"
"Not at all!" Mingyu quickly replied, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "Iâm just saying, I had to adapt."
Joshua laughed, clearly amused by their dynamic. "Itâs good to see, though. I remember the Mingyu who couldnât sit still in meetings or keep track of his tasks. Now look at youâorganized, professional, and confident."
Mingyu puffed out his chest jokingly, but there was a hint of genuine pride in his smile. "Well, I had a great mentor," he said, nodding toward Seungcheol.
Seungcheol scoffed, though a small smile played on his lips. "Donât get too cocky, Mingyu. You still have a long way to go."
Joshua tilted his head, a curious expression crossing his face. "By the way, how did Mingyu end up working for you, Seungcheol?"
"Trust me," Seungcheol said, a playful glint in his eye, "I didnât want to hire him at first. But he insisted, and I figured if he was going to work anywhere, it might as well be under someone who wouldnât go easy on him."
"And he doesnât go easy on me," Mingyu added, holding up his hands. "This man is tough."
Joshua laughed, clearly entertained. "Well, I have to say, itâs working. Youâve come a long way, Mingyu. But I bet itâs also a little intimidating, working for your family."
"It is," Mingyu admitted, "but itâs also motivating. I canât slack off when my boss knows everything about me, including my bad habits."
Seungcheol shook his head, though his expression softened. "To be fair, heâs proven himself. Heâs still Mingyu, though, so he keeps things interesting."
Seungcheol chuckled to himself as he sipped his coffee, the memory of that day playing vividly in his mind. It was his aunt's anniversary, and the gathering at his house was the perfect opportunity to introduce you to his family. At least, that was his plan.
You had looked stunning that day, wearing a soft pastel dress that complimented you beautifully. Yet, your nervousness was unmistakableâthe way your fingers fidgeted with the strap of your bag, the quick glances you stole at Seungcheol for reassurance, and the tiny, hesitant smile that melted his heart every time he caught you looking at him.
He remembered how your confidence faltered the moment you stepped into the living room, where the cheerful buzz of conversation filled the space. His family greeted you warmly, but then your eyes landed on Mingyu standing casually by the snack table.
Your reaction was priceless. Your eyes widened as if you'd seen a ghost, and before you could stop yourself, you mouthed to Seungcheol, What is he doing here?
Mingyuâs face lit up instantly when he noticed you. "Noona!" he called out excitedly, leaving his spot to approach you.
Seungcheol stifled a laugh as you turned to him, utterly baffled, while Mingyu pulled you into a friendly hug. "What... what is happening?" you whispered urgently to Seungcheol as Mingyu grinned beside you.
Seungcheol smirked, enjoying your confusion. "Mingyu is my cousin," he explained casually. "Heâs my auntâs son."
You blinked in shock, staring at both men as if the pieces of a puzzle were suddenly falling into place. "That explains a lot," you muttered, earning a laugh from Seungcheol and a curious look from Mingyu.
From that day on, your dynamic with Mingyu took a playful turn. What started as harmless teasing quickly became your favorite way to keep him on his toes, especially after he became Seungcheolâs secretary.
"You should work harder, Mingyu," you had told him one day when he stopped by your place to drop off some files for Seungcheol. Leaning against the doorframe, you smirked knowingly at him. "You only got that job because the boss is your cousin. Nepo baby."
Mingyu groaned dramatically, running a hand through his hair. "Noona, you canât keep calling me that! Iâm actually working really hard, you know."
"You better," you shot back, grinning mischievously. "I worked hard supervising you."
Seungcheol, who had been silently observing the exchange from the couch, couldnât hide his amusement. "Donât go too hard on him, love," he teased, though his tone was far from serious.
Mingyu pouted, looking between the two of you. "Great. Now I have two bosses to impress."
"You should be honored," you quipped, sending him a wink before heading back to the kitchen.
As Seungcheol watched Mingyuâs exasperated expression, he couldnât help but smile. Despite all the teasing, the camaraderie between you and Mingyu warmed his heart. It was proof of how naturally you had integrated into his lifeâhis familyâand how, even in moments of chaos, you brought lightness and joy to everything you touched.
End.
2K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Spotlight on Us || Lee Jihoon



Pairing: Idol Jihoon x Idol Reader Genre: Fluff, Idol romance Summary: Jihoon and Y/N are forced to sit together at an award show, causing endless cheers, teasing, and viral moments. From sneaky glances to Woozi protectively covering Y/N with his blazer, the night is full of heart-fluttering chaos. When Jihoon tears up during his speech and sees Y/N crying too, it becomes clearâno matter how much they pretend, everyone knows. Feel free to make requests || M.list
Jihoon knew this would happen. He saw it coming from a mile away.
Yet, here he was, forced to sit beside you at an award show, and the crowd was absolutely losing it.
Seungcheol had nearly fallen over laughing when Jihoon realized where he had to sit. Jeonghan had patted his shoulder like a proud parent.
And now? Now, he was trapped.
The moment the camera panned over to your table, the cheers hit like a tidal wave. The entire venue shook with the sound of fans screaming their lungs out, and Jihoon could already see the headlines forming in real-time.
"Woozi and Y/N: Power Couple of the Century?"
"Woozi's Reaction to Sitting Next to Y/N is Priceless!"
"Destiny? Fate? Coincidence? We Think Not!"
He sighed, rubbing his temple as Seungcheol cackled beside him. "Hyung, it's like a concert in here," Dino whispered, wide-eyed.
Jihoon glanced at you, only to find you smirking. "Did you plan this?" he accused.
You feigned innocence, sipping your drink. "Me? I would never."
Liar.
The second the camera landed on your table, the screaming was deafening. The venue, which had been relatively calm just moments ago, erupted.
Jihoon fought every urge to groan as he kept his expression neutral, while youâcompletely unbotheredâsmiled and gave a polite wave. You were enjoying this way too much.
"Look at you," you teased, voice barely audible over the noise. "Are you blushing?"
Jihoon scoffed. "It's hot in here."
"Uh-huh, sure," you mused, nudging his knee under the table.
And then, as if things werenât bad enough, the host on stage decided to make things worse.
"So, I think we have to talk about one of the most beloved pairings in the industry right now," the MC said, grinning. "Our audience is going crazy for these twoâWoozi and Y/N, everyone!"
The camera panned right back to you both, a split screen of your reactions broadcasting to millions.
Jihoon shut his eyes. "Kill me."
Meanwhile, you? You blew a kiss to the camera.
The screams reached another level.
The members of Seventeen lost it. Seungcheol clapped like a seal. DK was howling. Jeonghan actually got out of his seat to dramatically bow in your direction, like you had just won an Oscar.
"You're enjoying this," Jihoon muttered, side-eyeing you.
"Oh, absolutely," you replied, resting your chin on your hand as if you lived for this moment.
His phone vibrated. Another message from Jeonghan.
[Jeonghan]: Just kiss on camera. I dare you.
Jihoon choked on air. You glanced at his phone and laughed. "What's he saying?"
"Nothing," he snapped, locking it immediately.
And then, it got even worse.
A special segment playedâa montage of all the best collaborations of the year. And right there, in full HD, was a clip of you and Jihoon from a previous music show, standing way too close, exchanging small smiles.
It ended with a close-up of Jihoon watching you perform, eyes soft in a way that was damning.
The camera cut back to you both just in time to catch Jihoon covering his face with both hands.
Absolute pandemonium.
Even you were giggling now. "Wow, you really donât help your case."
"I hate this," Jihoon grumbled into his hands.
You leaned in slightly. "Hate it enough to run away?"
Jihoon peeked at you through his fingers.
You smiled. The same smile that made his heart stutter every single time. The same smile that made himâdespite all his complainingâstay exactly where he was.
Every time the camera even slightly panned in your direction, the audience roared in approval. At one point, the big screen accidentally caught Jihoon sneaking glances at you when you werenât looking, and the fans lost it.
He knew the fancams would be everywhere by the time he got back to the dorms.
And thenâdisaster struck.
During a short intermission, you shifted slightly in your seat, adjusting your dress, when you realizedâit was shorter than you thought.
The realization hit at the worst possible moment because, just as you moved, the camera cut back to your table.
You froze.
Jihoon noticed immediately. His sharp eyes flickered to you, then to the screen, and without thinking, he reached for somethingâhis blazer.
With swift, natural movements, he leaned in and draped it over your lap, completely casual, like he had done it a million times before.
The camera caught everything.
A split screen showed Jihoon placing his blazer over you while you whispered a flustered, âJihoon, what are you doing?â
"Just wear it," he muttered, pretending to focus on the stage.
Fans erupted.
Jeonghan burst into laughter, clapping his hands as if Woozi had just confessed on national television. Seungkwan gasped so dramatically that DK had to hold him back, and Mingyu was already on his phone, probably tweeting about it.
The big screen replayed the moment in slow motion, zooming in on Jihoon's effortlessly protective gesture.
Jihoon stiffened when he saw it. "You have got to be kidding me."
His phone blew up.
[Jeonghan]: ROMANTIC LEAD ENERGY!!!
[Mingyu]: Jihoon, OUR SWEETHEART???
[Hoshi]: THIS IS CRAZYYYYY
[Seungkwan]: GOODBYE, WORLD. THIS IS THE CUTEST THING IâVE EVER SEEN.
The captions wrote themselves.
"Lee Jihoon, the definition of boyfriend material."
"Woozi naturally protecting Y/N?? We are living in a fanfiction."
"When will my boyfriend be like this?"
Meanwhile, you were trying so hard to hold back your laughter. "Did you have to be so smooth about it?"
Jihoon cleared his throat. "It wasnât smooth."
"You literally just gave me your blazer without blinking."
"Because you needed it," he huffed, crossing his arms.
You peeked up at him, a teasing glint in your eyes. "âŚThanks, Jihoon."
He looked away immediately, ears turning red. "Shut up."
Jihoon should have known the night wasnât over yet.
After all the teasing, the chaotic fan reactions, and the never-ending camera zoom-ins, the moment had finally arrivedâSeventeenâs category was being announced.
The entire group sat up straighter, hands clasped together, nervous energy crackling in the air. You could feel it from your seat beside Jihoon, his usually steady hands slightly curled into fists on his lap.
âAnd the winner isâŚâ
The pause was agonizing.
"SEVENTEEN!"
The entire venue exploded.
Seventeen shot up from their seats, hugging each other tightly, overwhelmed with joy. Fans screamed, members cheered, and Jihoonâdespite his usual composureâlooked stunned.
You watched as Seungcheol pulled Jihoon into a tight hug, and thatâs when you saw itâhis eyes, glossy with tears.
The camera captured the moment perfectly. Jihoon, the man who poured his heart and soul into every note, every lyric, standing there, wiping at his eyes as the weight of everything hit him all at once.
And suddenly, your own eyes burned.
You covered your mouth with your hands, trying to hold back the emotions bubbling up inside you. You had seen Jihoon work himself to the bone, staying in the studio until dawn, striving for perfection in everything he did.
He deserved this. They all did.
Jihoon stood on stage, microphone in hand, staring out at the sea of fans and glowing lightsticks. The award sat heavy in his grasp, but not as heavy as the emotions swelling in his chest.
The cheers had barely died down when Seungcheol, ever the leader, began their speechâthanking the fans, the staff, the families, and everyone who had supported them.
But when the mic was passed to Jihoon, the crowd fell into an expectant hush.
Jihoon took a deep breath. âUmâŚâ He let out a small chuckle, voice already wavering. âI told myself I wasnât going to cry.â
The audience cheered, as if encouraging him to let it out.
Jihoon swallowed hard, gripping the microphone tighter. âThis⌠this award means a lot. More than I can put into words. Weâve worked so hard, and to be standing here, receiving this, it still feels unreal.â He exhaled shakily, blinking rapidly, but the tears still escaped, rolling down his cheeks.
Seventeen members immediately reached for himâJeonghan placing a hand on his back, Seungkwan nodding at him reassuringly. The crowd cooed, some fans already tearing up themselves.
The camera panned across the group, capturing their emotions, before shiftingâstraight to you.
Sitting at your table, eyes glassy with unshed tears, you watched Jihoon with nothing but pure admiration and pride. You hadnât even realized you were crying until the camera lingered on you, your lips pressed together to keep from outright sobbing.
And just like that, the entire venue reacted.
Fans screamed.
The members on stage noticed, and before Jihoon could even process what was happening, Jeonghan grabbed his shoulders and spun him around to face the screen.
There, clear as day, was you, wiping at your cheeks, eyes fixed on him like he was the most important person in the world.
Jihoon's face turned red instantly. He quickly turned back, covering his face with his sleeve, but it was too late.
Mingyu burst out laughing, Joshua clapped his hands like an excited kid, and even Seungcheol cracked up, patting Jihoon's back.
âLooks like weâre not the only ones crying,â Seungkwan teased into the mic, making the crowd go wild.
Jihoon groaned into his hands, but despite his embarrassment, he peeked up at the camera againâat you.
And in that moment, as he saw you smiling softly through your tears, he couldnât even be mad.
Because no matter how much he pretended to ignore it, no matter how much he groaned when the cameras caught you bothâdeep down, he knew.
There was no one heâd rather share the spotlight with.
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Even Dumbasses Deserve Love

Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x reader
Genre: Fluff, f2l, angst if you squint, smut !MDNI!
Warnings: Jeonghan being an idiot, oral (f receiving), dry humping, unprotected sex (don't do it yall), multiple orgasms, let me know if I missed anything
Summary: Yoon Jeonghan, your beautiful, wonderful, amazing, dumb-ass of a best friend who somehow doesn't see how hopelessly in love with him you are.Â
Until he does.
Banner by @orngejuic Beta Readers: @gyubakeries @sanaxo-o @mylovesstuffs ily guys <3
Taglist: @syluslittlecrows @cynthbee
â§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
Jeonghan prides himself in being two steps ahead of everyone. Itâs just how he isâhow he operates. He reads people easily, anticipates what theyâll do before they can even think it themselves. Itâs why he always wins petty bets, why he always manages to dodge responsibility, why he can talk his way out of anything with nothing more than a lazy smile. He sees the signs before they become obvious, notices the smallest shifts in expression, the tiniest changes in behavior.
Thatâs why, after knowing you for years, Jeonghan finds himself baffled. The first time he notices something is when you sit in your normal seat next to him before your lecture starts, sliding a coffee in front of him. Itâs something you do so often that it barely registersâuntil Seokmin starts to complain.
âWhereâs mine?â Seokmin whines, dramatically slumping against the table. âWhy does Jeonghan always get special treatment? I like coffee too, you know.â
You scoff, sipping from your own cup without a second thought. âYou have two legs, Kyeom, use them.â
Seokmin pouts, muttering something about Jeonghanâs legs and injustice, but Jeonghan barely hears him. Because for the first time, heâs thinking about what Seokmin had said. You always bring him coffee. Always. Even when youâre running late, even when you donât get one for yourself. Even when you grumble about how he doesnât deserve it.
He lifts the cup, staring at the little details heâs never bothered to notice before. The way his name is scrawled across the side in your handwriting instead of the baristaâs. The way you always get it exactly how he likesâtwo sugars, just enough milk to take the edge off the bitterness. The way you donât even wait for a thank you.
Like itâs second nature. Like itâs just⌠what you do.
And now, he canât stop thinking about it.
He starts noticing other things during the lecture.
How you always roll your eyes when he leans against you, but never actually push him away. How you scold him for doodling on the margins of your notebook, but still let him get away with it every time. How you look at him when you think he isnât paying attention.
It makes something shift in his brainâtilting, twisting, catching on a thought heâs somehow never had before.
And maybe that should be the end of it.
But it isnât.
Not yet.
Because a week later, it happens again.
â§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
Itâs lateâtoo late for you to be waiting around for him, but you do anyway. The library is nearly empty, the last stragglers packing up as Jeonghan stretches his arms over his head with a groan.
âFinally done?â you ask, voice amused as you glance up from your phone. Youâre already leaning against the table, your bag slung over your shoulder, like youâve been waiting for him this whole time.
Because you have.
Jeonghan blinks. He hadnât asked you to. Hadnât even considered it. He just assumed youâd gone home when you finished hours ago. But you didnâtâyou stayed.
âWhy are you still here?â he asks, narrowing his eyes. âI thought you said you were leaving at nine.â
You shrug. âChanged my mind.â
Changed your mind.
Jeonghan frowns but doesnât push further. Because now, heâs thinking about it again.
About the way you always are there whenever he needs you, about how you never actually leave until he does. About how, even when you complain about him, youâre still here.
Always here, waiting for him.
His stomach twists with something unfamiliar. Something that feels a little too warm, a little too close to something he isnât ready to name. He follows you into the cold night air, his hands stuffed in his pockets. His thoughts are too loud, too disorganized, for him to focus.
And when you shiver beside him, he doesnât even thinkâhe just shrugs off his hoodie and tugs it over your head before you can protest.
You freeze, blinking up at him. âWhatââ
âJust wear it,â Jeonghan mutters, looking away.
And maybe, if he let himself think too hard about why he did thatâwhy the sight of you in his hoodie makes something tighten in his chestâheâd realize heâs in way more trouble than he thought.
â§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
The next time, itâs at a party.
Jeonghan isnât even sure why he cameâprobably because Mingyu wouldnât stop nagging him about needing to âgo out and touch grass,â whatever that means. The music is loud, the room packed with people, and Jeonghan, as usual, is lounging in the corner with a drink in hand, thoroughly entertained by the mess unfolding around him.
Then he sees you.
Youâre talking to someoneâsome guy he doesnât recognize, whoâs standing a little too close, leaning in a little too much. You donât seem bothered at a glance, but Jeonghan notices the way your fingers tighten around your cup, the slight shift in your stance. Itâs subtle, something no one else would catch. But he does. He sees the tightness in your smile and the way you recoil when the man touches your arm.
Before Jeonghan can think twice, heâs already moving.
He slides up next to you easily, arm slinging around your shoulders like it belongs there, like itâs second nature. âThere you are,â he drawls, flashing his most infuriating smile as he pointedly ignores the guy in front of you. âBeen looking for you everywhere.â
You blink up at him, startled for only a second before you relax against him, leaning into his hold like itâs instinct.
The guy shifts awkwardly. âOh, I didnât realize you wereââ
Jeonghan tilts his head, still smiling. He doesnât say anything, just lets the weight of unspoken words hang in the air until the guy gets the message and quickly excuses himself.
Once heâs gone, Jeonghan glances down at you, raising a brow. âYou okay?â
You let out a breath, rolling your eyes. âI was handling it.â
âI know.â He shrugs, arm still around you, still holding you close. âFelt like bothering you anyway.â
You huff, but you donât pull away.
And then it hits him again.
The way you always let him do thisâlet him close, let him linger. The way you lean into him, like you belong there. The way it feels so natural that he doesnât realize he's still holding onto you until his fingers tighten slightly on your shoulder.
Something warm twists in his chest.
He should let go. He should step back.
â§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
Another day, itâs at lunch.
Jeonghan doesnât think much when you slide into the seat across from him, tray in hand, like you always do. He barely glances up from his phone as you start picking at your food, the conversation around you blending into background noise.
Then you do something that makes his fingers still over his screen. You push the cucumbers off his plate. Itâs so natural, so absentminded, that you donât even seem to notice yourself doing it. Just a quick movement, the same way you always do.
Jeonghan stares at his plate, where the cucumbers had been only seconds ago, now neatly placed onto yours without a word. He glances up at you, but youâre still focused on your meal, completely unbothered, like this is just⌠normal.
He thinks backâtries to remember when this started. When you figured out he didnât like cucumbers. When you decided, without being asked, to take them off his plate every single time.
Jeonghan swallows.
âAre you gonna eat that?â you ask suddenly, pointing at the bread roll on his tray.
He blinks, momentarily caught off guard before scoffing. âAt least let me offer before you start eyeing my food.â
You roll your eyes, reaching over to grab it anyway. âPlease, you were gonna give it to me either way.â
He doesnât argue. Because youâre right. He always does.
And now, as you tear off a piece of the bread and pop it into your mouth without thinking, Jeonghan canât help but notice the way this has all become a habit. The way there are things you do for him without question. The way there are things he does for you, too.
Jeonghan exhales, poking at the rest of his food, but suddenly, it doesnât taste the same.
Because now, heâs thinking about it again.
Thinking about what makes you act like this.
But he doesnât ask.Â
Not yet.
â§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
The next instance is in the rain.
Jeonghan had told you to go home before the storm hit, rolled his eyes when you stubbornly refusedâ insisting youâd be fineâ until he finally managed to convince you. And now, standing under the awning of a closed convenience store, watching the rain pour down in sheets, heâs debating whether he should call you just to say, âI told you so.â
Then his phone buzzes.
You: are you still at the library?
Jeonghan frowns, quickly typing back.
Jeonghan: no, at the convenience store across from it, dorm ran out of soju You: donât leave yet. Iâm coming to get you.
He stares at the screen, brow furrowing. Youâre coming to get him?
It takes you fifteen minutes.
Fifteen minutes of Jeonghan watching the rain fall, of tapping his fingers against his phone, of wonderingâreally wonderingâwhy youâre doing this.
And then youâre there, pulling up to the curb with your hazard lights flashing, hair slightly damp from the short sprint to your car. You barely give him a chance to react before youâre unlocking the door, waving him in.
âHurry up,â you say, like this is normal. Like itâs nothing. Like you havenât just driven across town in the middle of a downpour for him.
Jeonghan slides into the passenger seat, dripping water onto your floor mats. He doesnât speak at first, just watches you as you reach into the backseat and pull out a towel.
You toss it at him without looking, focused on pulling back into traffic. âDry your hair before you get sick.â
Jeonghan stares at the towel, then at you. âDid youââ
âI always keep one in my car,â you interrupt, as if reading his mind. âFor emergencies.â
He huffs out a quiet laugh, rubbing the towel over his damp hair. âSo, Iâm an emergency now?â
âYouâre definitely something.â You shake your head, smiling to yourself. âI donât know why I bother with you.â
But you do.
You do, every single time.
You didnât have to come get him. You didnât have to wait for him at the library, or bring him coffee every morning, or let him cling to you at parties without question.
And yet, here you are.
Jeonghan exhales, pressing his lips together, fingers tightening around the towel in his lap.
His chest feels warm again. Too warm.
He should say something. Should tease you, should make some dumb joke to brush this off like he always does.
But for the first time, he doesnât.
For the first time, he just sits there, watching you drive, heart pounding against his ribs.
But he doesnât want to think about how you make him feel.
â§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
The worst time is when heâs sick.
Jeonghan rarely gets sick. He prides himself on that, actuallyâon having an immune system strong enough to withstand whatever hell Mingyuâs cooking experiments unleash upon their friend group. But now, heâs curled up in bed, utterly miserable, his head pounding and his throat raw.
He doesnât remember texting you. Heâs not even sure if he did. But somehow, youâre there.
The knock on his door barely registers, his brain foggy with fever, but then youâre pushing it open, arms fullâplastic bags rustling, a familiar frown on your lips.
âYah,â you scold immediately, setting everything down on his desk before walking over to him. âWhy didnât you tell me you were dying?â
Jeonghan groans, burying his face in his pillow. âNot dying.â
âYou sound like you swallowed glass.â You reach out, pressing the back of your hand to his forehead before he can stop you. Your skin is cool against his overheated skin, and it makes him shiver.
You frown deeper. âYouâre burning up.â
âIâll live,â he mutters, voice hoarse.
You click your tongue but donât argue, instead moving back to the desk, unpacking the bags you brought. Jeonghan watches through half-lidded eyes as you pull out medicine, a bottle of his favorite drink, a container of porridge, andâ he freezes, heart stuttering.
You brought the exact brand of honey lemon lozenges he likes. The ones he always complains are overpriced but still buys anyway. His fingers twitch where they rest against his blanket.
âHowâd youââ He stops to clear his throat. âYou remembered?â
You glance at him, raising a brow. âOf course I did.âÂ
You say it like itâs obvious, as if heâs the weird one for even questioning it. Jeonghan doesnât know what to say to that, so he stays quiet, watching as you pour medicine into the cap and hold it out expectantly.
He doesnât complain. Doesnât make a fuss like he normally would.
He just sits up, takes the medicine, and lets you take care of him.
And this time, he doesnât try to push the warmth in his chest away, choosing instead to bask in your care, pretending it means more than it does.
But he doesnât admit that.
â§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
The next time Jeonghan notices it, really notices it, is a week later.
You donât know itâs happening (not that you ever do). Donât notice that heâs staring at you from across the table, barely registering Seungcheolâs story about some girl who ghosted him after three dates. Donât know that something in his brain is shiftingâcatching on a thought thatâs finally fully formed.
He watches the way you laugh at something Mingyu says, how your nose scrunches slightly when you sip your too-sweet drink. Watches the way you lean back in your chair, rolling your eyes at something dumb he said earlier.
He thinks about how easily you fit next to him. How you always have.
And then it hits him.Â
A slow-burning realization that shouldâve hit him years ago.
The reason you always let him steal your food even when you pretend to be annoyed. The reason you text him good morning when you know he wonât wake up until noon. The reason you never let him get away with his bullshit but still let him stay, no matter how insufferable he is.
The reason you look at him sometimes like heâs the only person in the room, like youâd give him the world if he just asked.
The reason you always have.
His stomach flips.
Oh.
Oh.
Jeonghan blinks. Swallows hard. Tries to ignore the sudden, inexplicable rush of warmth crawling up his neck. Because thisâthisâshould not be happening. Heâs Jeonghan. Youâre you. His best friend. The one person who never falls for his tricks, never gets caught up in his nonsense.
Except⌠you do, donât you?
And heâs been too blindâtoo stupidâto see it.
âOh, shit,â Jeonghan mutters under his breath.
Mingyu pauses mid-bite, looking up. âHuh?â
Jeonghan forces a lazy smile, shaking his head. âNothing.â
But it isnât nothing.
Itâs everything.
And Jeonghanâwho has always prided himself on being two steps ahead of everyone elseâhas never been more terrified in his life because now, he canât stop noticing.
Itâs in the way you always save him a seat, even when the lecture hall is packed. The way you complain about his bad habits but never actually stop him. The way your fingers brush against his when you pass him something, lingering just a second longer than necessary.
Itâs in the way he finds himself looking for you first in a crowded room, in the way his teasing has softened without him realizing, in the way his heart stumbles over itself when you laugh at something he says.
Itâs in the way you listen to himâeven when heâs talking absolute nonsenseânodding along like his words actually matter. The way you remember the smallest things, like how he hates cucumbers or how he always picks the sesame bagel first. The way you instinctively move closer when he nudges you, like itâs second nature, like you donât even think about it.
And Jeonghanâwho has always prided himself on knowing things before anyone else, on seeing things before they happenâis suddenly drowning in a realization that has been staring him in the face for years.
Because itâs not just you.
Itâs him, too.
Itâs the way he always shifts closer to you on instinct, the way his gaze flickers toward you the second you walk into a room. The way he lets his guard down without thinking, lets you see the parts of him that no one else does. The way he keeps finding excuses to be near you, even when he tells himself heâs not.
Itâs the way his hoodie still hangs in your closet because you never gave it backâand he never asked for it. The way heâs memorized the exact rhythm of your footsteps when you walk beside him. The way he never thinks twice about sharing his food with you, even when he swats Seokminâs hand away for trying the same thing.
The way his heart is racing right now, loud enough that he swears someone else must hear it.
He swallows hard, fingers tightening around his drink.
Because if all of this is trueâif heâs been feeling this way without even knowing itâthen that means everything has already changed. And he has no idea what to do about it.
Jeonghan feels like he canât breathe. The noise of the hole-in-the-wall restaurant, the laughter, the clatter of platesâit all feels too loud, too much. His skin is buzzing, his thoughts spiraling, and before he can stop himself, heâs pushing back his chair and standing up.
No one really noticesâSeungcheol is too caught up in his story, Mingyu is still chewingâbut you do. Of course you do.
Jeonghan mutters something about fresh air and slips outside before anyone thinks to ask questions. The cool evening air hits him like a slap, sharp and grounding, but it does nothing to quiet the way his chest is tightening. He leans against the brick wall, pressing his palms against his eyes, trying to steady himself.
This isnât happening. This canât be happening.
The door swings open behind him.
âJeonghan?â
Your voice is gentle, cautious.
He forces himself to relax, dropping his hands and looking at you with the most neutral expression he can manage. âWhatâs up?â
You step closer, studying him, your brows furrowing. âAre you okay?â
Jeonghan scoffs, shoving his hands into his pockets. âWhy wouldnât I be?â
You give him a lookâthe one that tells him you know heâs full of shit. âYou just got up and walked out in the middle of a conversation. Thatâs not normal.â
He shrugs, shifting his weight. âI just needed some air.â
You donât move. Donât buy it for a second.
âJeonghan.â Your voice is softer this time, almost hesitant. âWhatâs wrong?â
And he could lieâ brush it off, smirk, make some dumb joke to change the subject. Thatâs what he always does. But for some reason, with you standing there, looking at him like thatâlike you care, like youâre waiting for the truthâhe finds that he canât.
So instead, Jeonghan exhales sharply, shakes his head and looks away. âI think I just realized something really, really big.â
You tilt your head. âWhat?â
He hesitatesâ opens his mouth, closes it.
Thenâ
âItâs nothing,â he says, too quickly. Forces a smirk, even though it doesnât quite reach his eyes. âCome on, letâs go back before Mingyu eats all my fries.â
You watch him for a moment longer, and he wonders if you can see through him, if you can hear all the things he isnât saying.
But then, finally, you sigh. âYouâre acting weird.â
Jeonghan laughs, bumping his shoulder against yours as he steers you back inside. âIâm always weird.â
You roll your eyes but let him pull you along. And Jeonghan?
Jeonghan wonders if heâs just made the biggest mistake of his life.
â§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
He tells himself itâs fine. Tells himself it was just a weird moment, a fleeting thought, something he can push down and forget about if he just acts normal.
So thatâs what he does.
For the next few days, heâs carefulâ not staring too long when you talk, not lingering when you walk beside him. He keeps things exactly the sameâlaughs at your complaints, steals your food, teases you like he always has.
But he canât unsee it now.
Canât unfeel the way his heart stutters when you smile at him. The way his skin burns when your arm brushes his. He finds himself watching you when you arenât looking, cataloging all the little things about you that he somehow never realized were his favorite things.
Worst of allâhe canât unsee the way you look at him.
Because now that heâs noticed, he knows.
Youâve always been looking at him like that.
And now itâs killing him.
â§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
It all comes to a head one night when youâre at Seungcheolâs place for a movie night. The room is dim, the couch too crowded, so you end up sitting on the floor between Jeonghanâs legs. Itâs normal. Youâve done it a hundred times before.
But tonight, Jeonghan feels every shift, every time you lean against him. Your shoulder against his knee. Your head tilted back against his leg when you laugh at something on the screen. The warmth of you, right there, so close, so easy.
And thenâbecause the universe is cruelâyou grab his hand absentmindedly, just to play with his fingers like you always do when youâre fidgeting. But this time, Jeonghanâs entire world tilts on its axis. His breath catches, heart lurches.
And suddenly, all he can think isâIâm so fucked.
He doesnât know how long he sits there, staring at your hand in his, feeling the slow, absentminded way your fingers trace along his knuckles. Itâs nothing.
Except it isnât because now he knows, and knowing makes it unbearable. So he does the only thing he can think of: he pulls his hand away and stands up.
Too fast. Too abrupt.
You blink, looking up at him in confusion as he mumbles somethingâsome excuse that even he knows doesnât make senseâand makes a beeline for the door. He barely hears the others calling after him, barely registers the cool night air as he steps outside, pressing a hand to his chest like he can physically push down whatever the hell is clawing its way up his throat.
This canât be happening.
He canât be acting like this.
But it is, he is.
And thenâ
The door creaks open behind him.
âJeonghan?â
Your voice. Soft, uncertain.
He squeezes his eyes shut for a second before forcing a smile and turning around. âYeah?â
You step closer, arms crossed against the cold. âYouâve been⌠off these last few days. Seriously, whatâs wrong?â
âNothing.â Too quick. Too easy. A lie, and you know it.
You frown, chastising him, âJeonghan.â
And the way you say his nameâlike you know him too well, like you can see straight through himâmakes his stomach flip. He exhales slowly, running a hand through his hair. âI just needed some space.â
You study him, searching his face like youâre piecing together a puzzle only he knows the answer to. âDid I do something?â Your voice is quiet, hesitant, like the idea of hurting him actually hurts you. It almost makes him want to laugh because God, you have no idea.
âNo,â he says, too soft, too real. âYou didnât do anything.â
You donât look convinced, but you donât push. Instead, you step closer, tilting your head. âThen what is it? Iâm worried about you.â
Jeonghan looks at youâthe way your brows furrow, the way your lips press together, the way youâre always standing too close but it never mattered until now. He opens his mouth to say somethingâanythingâto push this moment away, to pretend like itâs just another weird, fleeting feeling. But then he looks at you, really looks at you.
Your eyes, wide and trusting, waiting for him to say something that will make sense of whatever the hell happened in there. He takes a step forward, slowly, almost reluctantly, like his body is moving on its own. His arms wrap around you on instinct, like muscle memory, like habit. But when his face finds the crook of your neck and you rub soothing circles into his back, it doesnât feel like a habit at all. It feels like something else entirely.
Jeonghan pulls back slightly, his hands still lingering on your arms, as if trying to ground himself. The air between you is thick with unspoken words, and he knows he canât run from it any longer. His heart is beating fast, and he finally asks, his voice tentative, âDo you... do you like me?â
You blink, the question catching you off guard. Heâs asked you this before, often asking âwhat about meâ whenever anyone compliments another person. For a moment, it feels like time has paused. Heâs looking at you with this vulnerability, this rawness, and itâs both terrifying and comforting at the same time.
âOf course I like you, youâre my best friend.â
Jeonghanâs chest tightens at your words, and his breath catches in his throat. Itâs not the answer he was hoping for, not exactly, but heâs not sure what he was expecting either. His heart sinks a little. He didnât know what kind of answer he wanted, but this... wasnât it.
âIâyeah, I know,â he says quickly, rubbing a hand over his face, clearly frustrated with himself. He doesnât know why he feels so nervous now, why itâs suddenly harder to breathe. âBut I mean... do you like me more than that? Like, in a way thatâs not just... like that?â
Thereâs a pause as you look at him, and he canât read your expression, canât tell if youâre confused or just processing. But your eyes soften as you take in the question.
You tilt your head, trying to make sense of it. âWait... are you asking if I like you like you?â
Jeonghan nods, a bit sheepish, unable to hide the vulnerability on his face now. âYeah,â he mutters. âHave I been reading the signals wrong? Am I more than just...do you see me the way I see you?â
For a moment, you donât say anything. The silence stretches, and Jeonghan feels his heart racing, anxiety curling in his stomach. He regrets even asking, but he canât bring himself to back out now. Finally, you take a step closer, a smile tugging at your lips, though itâs a little teasing. âAnd what if I do?â
The words hit him harder than he expected, and for a moment, Jeonghan just stands there, blinking at you, his mind scrambling to catch up. He wasnât ready for that answer. He wasnât prepared for the shift in the air between you.
âWell,â he says, frowning. âDo you?â
You laugh softly, but thereâs no mocking in it, just warmth. âI think youâre a little slow, Jeonghan. I donât know how much more obvious I couldâve been. Iâve liked you for years.â
Jeonghanâs breath catches, and for a split second, he feels lightheaded, overwhelmed by the sudden clarity. His heart thuds in his chest as you step closer, and thereâs a quiet intensity in your gaze that makes everything feel like itâs falling into place.
âYou...â Heâs still struggling to get the words out, his mind still spinning, but this time, itâs not confusion thatâs holding him back. Itâs something else entirely. âI didnât know.â
You smile again, shaking your head and stepping just a little closer until thereâs barely any space between you. âWell, I wasnât exactly going to say it first, was I?â you tease, but thereâs something deeper in your voice now. âYouâve been my best friend for how long now? Iâve seen you turn down hundreds of women.â
Jeonghan reaches out, his hands trembling just slightly as he gently cups your face in his palms, searching your eyes for any hint of doubt. âBut... youâre different.â He whispers, his voice low but steady.
You lean into his touch, your eyes never leaving his. âAm I?âÂ
He nods and you smile, causing warmth to spread across his chest. âWhat does this mean?â He asks hesitantly. Sure heâs been in plenty of relationships before, but he didnât care about any of them like he cares about you because, like he said, youâre different.
âIt means youâre an idiot for taking this long,â you say with a grin. âBut it also means I donât have to wait anymore.â
Before he can say another word, you close the space between you, your lips meeting his in a soft, slow kiss. It wasnât urgent. Thereâs no rush, no pushingâ just the slow pull of two people who had been waiting for this moment for far too long. Your lips are gentle, testing at first, as if asking for permission. And he gives it, deepening the kiss with a quiet intensity as your fingers thread through his hair, pulling him closer.
The kiss feels like a quiet promise, an unspoken exchange of everything youâve never said. Your lips part, and he follows, the kiss turning softer, more tender as he tries to memorize every inch of you. He cups your cheek as if youâre something delicate, something worth protecting. Because you are.
It feels like time is suspended, like there's nothing else but the warmth of your mouths, the softness of your hands. Every part of him is alive with sensation, heart racing faster with each passing moment. He can feel your pulse, tooâfaster now, matching his.
When you finally pull back, your foreheads rest together, both of you smiling, hearts racing.
âHow did you put up with me? I was such an idiot.â Jeonghan says softly, his voice full of affection, but also amusement.
You laugh, your fingers tracing his jawline. âNothing out of the ordinary. And hey, even dumbasses deserve love.â You say, giving him a peck on the lips.
The sound of a door creaking open behind you breaks the moment, and you pull away reluctantly, both of you still close, but now acutely aware that youâre no longer alone. The sound of Seungcheolâs voice filters through the hallway. âHey! You two coming back in or what? We need someone to help pick the next movie!â
You glance at Jeonghan, both of you smiling, the weight of the world feeling just a little lighter now. He laughs quietly, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks at you, a bit sheepish.
âGuess we should probably... go back,â you say with a grin.
He nods, still unable to wipe the smile off his face. âProbably, yeah. Or we could go over to my place instead?âÂ
You just laugh, shaking your head, âMaybe next time, loverboy,â you say, dragging him back to the living room, this time snuggling up next to him under a blanket. Your hand rests on his thigh, trancing slow patterns absentmindedly onto the skin and making a shiver go down his back. Itâs not the first time youâve done thisâheck you were fidgeting with his hand before he leftâbut this time is different. Because now you both know. Jeonghan tries his best to focus on the movie, he really does, but all he can think about is the softness of your lips on his, the way you tugged at his hair when he licked into your mouth, the way your hand feels so good as it squeezes his thigh.
Nope.
Nope nope nope nope nope.
He grabs your hand, flipping it up to interlock his fingers with yours because he is not about to get hard. You gently squeeze his hand, resting your head on his shoulder. Heâs hyper-aware of how your hand slots perfectly with his, how you fling your legs over his own. When he glances over at you and sees a mischievous glint in your eye so often found in his, he knows heâs screwed.Â
And god does he love it.
Itâs a running joke between your friends that Jeonghan can never last more than two hours, whether itâs drinking, socializing, or partying, after two hours Jeonghan will clock out. He manages to make it through three hours of your teasing as the movie plays in the background. He doesnât know what's happening in the movie, and quite frankly, couldnât give any less of a fuck. Not when heâs endured your breath ghosting over his neck, your weight shifting on him slightly too much for it to be innocent, for three. Whole. Hours.Â
Yawning and pretending to stretch when the movie is paused for a bathroom break, he stands up, allowing the blanket to fall from his lap and enjoying your complaint at the sudden cold.Â
âAlright,â Jeonghan announces, rubbing at his eyes dramatically. âI think thatâs my cue to head out.â
A chorus of groans follows. âDude, the movie isnât even over,â Minghao complains, arms crossed.
âYou do this every time,â Jihoon adds, unimpressed.
Jeonghan sighs. âItâs not even that good.â
âBro, itâs nominated for like, five academy awards.â Vernon guffaws.
Jeonghan shrugs, entirely unbothered.
You roll your eyes but donât move from your spot on the couch. âYouâre so predictable.â
He hums, tilting his head at you. âIâm consistent, thereâs a difference.â He grabs your hand, attempting to tug you up. âCome on, letâs go.â
You blink at him, feigning innocence. âWhere am I going?â
âHome. With me. So we can escape these idiots. Duh.â
A pillow flies in Jeonghanâs direction, courtesy of Seungkwan. âWe can still hear you, dipshit.â
Jeonghan easily dodges it before turning back to you with a grin. âCome on.â
You stretch your arms over your head and settle deeper into the couch, smirking at him. âI think Iâll stay.â
Jeonghan stares at you like youâve just betrayed him. âBut whoâs going to drive me home?â He pulls his lips into a pout.
âI guess youâll have to take the bus,â you drag out, watching the way his face scrunches in displeasure, âI want to finish the movie.â
Jeonghan narrows his eyes at you, crouching slightly to be level with your gaze. âBut you donât even care about the movie.â
You shrug. âApparently itâs nominated for whatever Vernon said. Very interesting stuff.â
âUnbelievable,â he mutters under his breath. He drops onto his knees in front of you, leaning against the couch as he complains. âBut I wanna go home.â
You raise an eyebrow. âThen go?â
His hand wraps around your wrist, tugging you slightly forward. âNot without you.â
âJeonghan,â you warn, but it holds no real bite.
He whines, a real, genuine whine that has Jihoon groaning in disgust in the background before tugging you forward to whisper in your ear. âI donât want to be here anymore. I want to be with you. Alone. Where I donât have to share you with all these people.âÂ
You fight a smile. âWow, I never knew you were so clingy.â
He glares up at you, pout still prominent. âOnly for you.â
Thereâs a beat of silence before you sigh dramatically, running a hand through your hair. âUgh, fine.â
Jeonghan perks up immediately, eyes glimmering with victory. âNice!â
You shove at his forehead lightly. âGod, youâre so annoying.â
âAnd yet, youâre still coming with me,â he sing-songs, standing up and holding out a hand.
You take it begrudgingly, rolling your eyes when he laces your fingers together smugly.
âBye, quitters,â Seungkwan calls out, voice dripping with sarcasm.
Jeonghan doesnât even spare him a glance, tugging you toward the door with a satisfied grin.
â§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
Jeonghan is not used to being the one squirming, yet here he is, sitting in your passenger seat, fingers twitching against his knee, fighting the urge to run his tongue over his bottom lip, needing something to do.
Heâs been watching you for the past fifteen minutes, the way your hands flex on the wheel, the way your brows furrow slightly whenever he shifts in his seat. Youâre pretending to be unaffected, as if his presence this closeâhis breath practically in your space, his eyes raking over you like heâs memorizing every detailâdoes nothing to you.
Itâs almost convincing. Almost.
But Jeonghan knows you too well.
He wonders if you can feel the weight of his gaze as he studies you, cataloging every flicker of your expression, every little movement. The way your lips part slightly when you exhale, the way you press your tongue to the inside of your cheek when the traffic slows.
Youâre gripping the steering wheel tighter than necessary. It makes him smirk.
âYouâre staring,â you say, voice clipped.
âAm I not allowed?â he asks, all feigned innocence. He props his chin up on his hand, leaning toward you just slightly, just enough to feel the tension coil even tighter between you.
He watches your fingers tighten just a little more. You donât look at him. He grins.
âThought so,â he murmurs, just to be annoying.
You exhale sharply through your nose. âMaybe if you werenât looking at me like that, itâd be easier.â
âLike what? Iâm just looking at my beautiful best friend who happens to be madly in love with me.â
You scoff, shooting him a pointed look, but he just smiles at you, that cute smile he always does when heâs being the picture perfect image of innocence.
He shifts in his seat, lets his hand fall casually onto your thigh. The reaction is instantâyour muscles tense, just for a second, but he notices. He always does.Â
You donât shove him off. You donât even flinch. He lets his thumb move, tracing small, slow circles against the fabric of your jeans. Not enough to be obvious, but enough to be felt. Enough to make you react.
âJeonghan,â you warn.
He hums, fingers pressing just a little firmer. âWhat?â
âYouâre distracting me.â
He exhales a quiet laugh. âWonder what that must be like.â He muses.
The car slows to a stop at a red light, and for the first time, you turn to face him fully. Your eyes meet his, and god, itâs enough to make his stomach twist. Thereâs a challenge there, a silent push and pull that makes Jeonghan wonder whoâs going to break first.
Just as heâs about to push further, you grab his wrist.For a brief moment he worries that heâs gone too far, made you uncomfortable enough to shove him off, but you donât. Instead you just turn his hand upwards to intertwine your fingers the way he did before.
âBehave,â you say simply.
And then youâre driving again, like nothing happened.
Jeonghan blinks. His mouth parts slightly, caught somewhere between shock and amusement, and he lets out a quiet chuckle, leaning back into his seat. His knee bounces slightlyâhe hates how much you affect him. (No, he doesnât.)"
â§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
As soon as his apartment door closes, your mouth is on Jeonghanâs. Your lips move urgently against his as he smiles into the kiss. When you tilt his chin to deepen it, pushing your tongue into his mouth, he makes a sound he didnât know he was capable ofâ something between a whimper and a groan that screamed neediness.
âAngel,â He whines against your lips, hands running up and down your body as he pushes you harder against the door, slotting a leg between your thighs. Your fingers tug at his hair deliciously, soft lips contrasting the way they devour him. You grind against his thigh, sighing at the friction,your hands trailing down his body to tug at his shirt. You break apart so he can tug his shirt off, your hands leaving goosebumps as they trail across the newly exposed skin.Â
You break the kiss, trailing kisses across his jaw and down his neck, sucking marks onto his collarbone that have his mind reeling, âPlease,â His hands squeeze your waist tighter, he doesnât even know what heâs asking for anymore, all he knows is that he needs more; more of your touch, your lips, your smell, you, you, you.
You smile against his skin, your breath making him shiver as it fans across the wet patch of skin you had been ravishing, âAww, Hannie,â you coo, âare you getting impatient baby?â Your hips grind into his thigh again and he lets out a shaky breath.
Witchcraft, he decides, is the only explanation to whatever spell you have him under. He nods frantically, hips involuntarily thrusting forward when you chuckle, lifting your face back up to his. The look in your eyes is a cross between adoring and down right evil as you kiss his lips languidly before moving towards his ear, âThink about how Iâve felt all this time.â
The whispered words get lost in his soft groans as you continue to kiss him, grinding harder on him and whimpering against his skin. Suddenly youâre pushing him, not separating your lips as you force him to walk backwards. You know his apartment like the back of your handâ even helped him unpack his moving boxes when he first bought itâ so itâs no surprise that you lead him to the bedroom without a hitch, clothes falling off somewhere along the way until youâre standing in front of him, clad in a white set that-
Wow.
If Aphrodite exists, you must be blessed by her, he thinks (not wanting to eternally damn you by saying you rival her beautyâalthough he definitely wouldnât say you donât). The lace hugs your curves perfectly, small bows accentuating every beautifulâfuck, he doesnât even know what heâs thinking anymore because you just look that good. Jeonghan doesnât even realize heâs reaching for you, hands hovering in the air between you as if he's scared youâll disappear if he touches you.
You reach out your hand to intertwine your fingers with his, pushing until he falls back onto the bed before climbing on top of him. You thread your fingers through his hair as you straddle him, kissing him slowly, grinding against his hardness through his boxers. The feeling has his eyes closing, needy groans escaping his lips before he can stop them.
âMy pretty baby,â you whisper against his lips, hands tugging in his hair to give you access to his throat again, licking and sucking marks in ways that have his back arching off the bed. Your hands run up and down his torso, hips grinding harder against his prompting a string of curses to escape him as he grabs your hipsâto stop you or push you against him more, he doesnât know. âSo needy for me, huh? Who knew that behind your teasing facade you were really just a brat?â
Does Jeonghan have a degradation kink? He didnât think so until this moment, when his hips buck into yours involuntarily with a whine. âAngel, please, IâI need you.â He practically sobs when you start to climb off him, settling yourself on the bed and spreading your legs open. Jeonghan rushes towards you, breath catching in his throat at the sight of a damp spot in the center of your panties.
 He settles himself between your legs, leaving marks on your inner thigh before nuzzling himself against your covered core. The sound of your breath hitching makes him chuckle as he presses a wet kiss directly over the damp fabric, âAnd you said I was needy.â He mutters, bringing a hand up to slide your panties to the side of your corce, practically drooling at the clear string of liquid that connects them. Unable to help himself, he licks at your entrance lightly, humming at the taste and the way your legs quiver next to him.
âYouâre lucky I love you because if thereâs one thing you were right about, it's that I am a tease. But tonight?â Jeonghan starts rubbing slow circles over your clit, âTonight, Iâm going to have you shaking under me.â With that, he rids you of your underwear completely before diving into your heat. Your hands once again shoot to his hair, pushing his face further against you as he eats your pussy like itâs his last meal on death row.Â
âShit, Hannie, nggh.â You whine above him, moans getting higher in pitch as he takes your clit into his mouth, sucking harshly, âFingers, pleaseâ fuck, please.â He isnât one to deny you when you beg so cutely for him, reveling in the way your pussy practically sucks his finger in. He can feel how tight your walls are, slipping another finger in with ease because of how wet youâve gotten. All for him. He curves his fingers into a spongy spot that has your back arching off the bed, proceeding to target the spot while attacking your clit with his tongue. The sounds coming from above him is music to his ears, all of his senses taken over by you as he feels you break around him. He doesnât stop, drinking your juices and bringing you to another high just as quickly, until youâre quivering around him.Â
He slows down, not stopping but giving you time to catch your breath when you pull him away, bringing his lips back up to yours, not caring that you can taste yourself on his lips. You make quick work of your bra, throwing it to the side somewhere and Jeonghan canât help but ogle. He sits up, dragging his hands up your bare body and resting them just below the swell of your chest. Slowly, he connects his lips to the skin, closing his eyes as one hand goes to fondle the other. Your hips start moving against his again, sweet moans coming from both of you. Eventually you push him back to the bed so you can appreciate the sight of Jeonghan, face flushed, hair splayed across the pillow behind him, lips parted.
With each rock of your hips, Jeonghan moans louder. Your movements get faster and faster, and so do Jeonghan's moans, the whimpers only making you need him more.
He can hardly stand it, gripping your hips as tight as he can, trying to hold himself back, but the pressure feels so good, and you look so angelic as you rub your bare pussy against him.Â
You grab his hair and pull his head back. "Fuck," he chokes, looking down at where you're grinding against him. You feel his cock twitch inside his pants, and switch your pace to a quicker rhythm, grinding harder as Jeonghan's eyes darken under you.
He grabs your hips tightly, goes still, and lets out a low whine. You feel his hips jolt beneath you, and you pause. His face is flushed a deep pink all the way to his neck.
You stare in disbelief. Jeonghan hides his face in your neck, holding your body close. You look beneath you, a dark spot forming in Jeonghan's boxers.
"Aw, Hannie," you pull his face from your neck, looking him in the eyes. "My sweet, sweet Hannie." You smile and kiss him slowly, full of adoration and love. You kiss down his neck, making way towards his dick before finally sliding onto your knees on the floor between Jeonghan's legs. You press a kiss to the wet spot in his boxers, looking him directly in the eyes as you do, and feeling him twitch against your lips.
You gently pull his cock out of his underwear, shocked to see him covered in his own cum. He twitches at the contact, sensitive.
"Fuck, youâre perfect."
You teasingly stroke his length and watch him twitch when your thumb runs over the tip. âPlease,â he looks up at you through his lashes, pleading, "I need you."
Those words are all you need to hear before planting your legs on either side of him, reaching between your bodies and wrapping your hand around Jeonghan's length. You glide the tip along your entrance, soaking him in your arousal before lowering your hips to slide him inside you. Loud moans escape both of you at the sensation of him filling you. He says your name like a prayer, hands rubbing circles on your hips, not knowing if itâs to ground you or himself. You slowly lift yourself up before sitting back down quickly, loving the way Jeonghanâs head falls to the side. "Shit, pretty. So perfect for me, god."
His grip on your hips gets tighter as you pick up speed, your pussy squeezing around him as if it never wants to let him go. All thoughts are wiped from his brain when you start kissing him through moans, whispering in his ear about how good it feels, how much you love him. He can feel you getting closer, your cunt pulsating with every roll of your hips. He brings a hand to your clit, starting to rub circles when you break, bringing him over the edge with you.
Your body collapses over Jeonghan's, shaking slightly as you come down from your high. Although heâs not in a much better state, he flips you onto your back, slipping out of you despite your protests and appreciating the way his cum drips out of your hole. He makes his way to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth to clean you up a little until he notices you awkwardly waddling in after him. Heâs unable to stop the laugh that bubbles in his chest, making you pout as you sit on the toilet to let the cum drain out of you.
Jeonghan leans over, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, and he canât help but notice how beautiful your smile isâhow it lights up your face and his days.
â§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
Epilogue:
Jeonghan doesnât change. He still steals your food, still drapes himself over you like a cat when heâs tired, nuzzles into your shoulder and complains that youâre too warm when itâs his fault for climbing all over you in the first place. He still teases you mercilessly, grinning that lazy, adorable infuriating smile whenever you roll your eyes at him.
Whatâs changed is that now, you kiss him to shut him up. And Jeonghanâwho spent so long hiding behind his charm, his easy confidenceâdoesnât even try to stop you. If anything, he leans into it. Leans into you.Â
Now, on mornings before class, he walks in with you through the doors of the coffee shop, one arm wrapped around your shoulder as he complains about how early it is, burying his face in the side of your neck. He picks you up in the rain, stays late at the library with you, and drives you homeâlike it's second nature.
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
code redËĘâĄÉË
(seungcheol x idol!reader) â fluff
a/n â just a reminder that periods are COMPLETELY normal and don't let anyone shame you for it. ur allowed to feel embarrassed but you should never let other people make u think its gross
this was not how you wanted today to go.
you were standing on stage at a live eventâyour group and seventeen side by sideâwhen seungcheol suddenly tensed beside you.
you barely noticed at first, too focused on the host's question, but then he subtly shifted, stepping closer so his body partially blocked yours.
something was wrong.
"cheol?" you murmured, smiling at the cameras.
he didnât answer right away. instead, his eyes flickered down for the briefest moment before he leaned in, voice so low only you could hear.
"babe, donât panic," he muttered, still smiling as if nothing was happening. "but⌠we have a code red."
your blood ran cold. no. no, no, noâ
"are you serious?" you whispered, trying not to move your lips.
"back of your dress. left side," he confirmed.
oh god. you had bled through. on stage. in front of a live audience.
you wanted to disappear.
"cheol," you breathed, already spiraling. "what do i do?"
"just stay still," he said, his voice calm and steady. "i got you."
before you could even think, he moved.
with the smoothest, most effortless motion, he shrugged off his suit jacket andâmid laugh at something hoshi had saidâcasually swung it around your shoulders, his arm resting over you like it was nothing.
to anyone watching, it looked like nothing more than an affectionate gesture.
but you knew better.
he had covered you. completely.
you exhaled slowly. "oh my god."
"see?" he whispered, his grip tightening slightly. "crisis averted."
somehow, you made it through the rest of the segment. seungcheol stayed close, never once letting go of you, and every time the camera turned away, he whispered little reassurances in your ear.
"you're okay."
"no one saw a thing."
"youâre doing amazing, princess."
as soon as the show cut to break, he was already steering you backstage. your group leader spotted you immediately, concern flashing in her eyes, but seungcheol gave her a small nodâletting her know he had you.
you let out a long breath the moment you were out of view.
"i canât believe that happened," you groaned, pressing your face into his chest.
he chuckled, rubbing your back. "i canât believe you didnât notice sooner."
"excuse me?!" you pulled back to glare at him. "how was i supposed to notice? i was a little busy being live on air."
he grinned. "iâm just saying. maybe you should let me set reminders for you."
"absolutely not."
"câmon," he teased, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "what if next time iâm not there to save you?"
you huffed. "then i guess iâll just have to marry you so you are always there."
he blinked.
then, very seriouslyâ
"okay."
your face burned. "cheolâ"
"no take backs," he cut in, grinning like an idiot.
you groaned, shoving his chest as he laughed. you were never going to live this down.
807 notes
¡
View notes
Note
fake dating with james? major angst end with fluff?
okay, to be completely candid with you guys, this is my first time writing like this. iâve never really done fics or even small drabbles before, so i deeply apologize if this is the worst thing youâve ever read. i promise iâm trying to get better. this has also been sitting in my drafts for so long, since i couldnât decide how to end it.
summary: you fell in love with your fake boyfriend. he fell in love with you, too.
warning: not as much angst, sorry </3. fluff, horrible writing, a lot of rushing. james rants ab his love for you
Dating James was like a dream, truly. Even though it was fake, meant to just be a ruse to make Lily jealous, he made it seem like it was perfectly real. He walked you to every class, offered you his jumper the moment you shook in the slightest, gave you his breakfast if you were still hungry. He even made sure to throw in a grand gesture every once in a while â a large bouquet of flowers, buying you a nice outfit or that expensive perfume you wanted but couldnât afford. Anything he could do.
The only problem was how much you liked dating him. It was hard to remind yourself that it was all fake â that it was all happening just to make another girl jealous, because thatâs who he was in love with. Lily. Not you. And it broke your heart every time you were reminded of that. Every time heâd kiss your cheek and murmur something about Lily watching, whenever heâd come to you with so much excitement over the plan working, whenever heâd immediately pull away as soon as you two were alone. It all hurt.
And that was why you had to end it. Today, before you could chicken out and let yourself get lost in something thatâs not real.
âJames? Can we talk?â You questioned softly once you found him in his dorm room, Remus and Sirius studying something on one of the beds, and Peter trying to make light conversation. âUm â somewhere private.â
âYeah, of course.â The bespectacled boy gave you a grin, quickly slapping Sirius lightly on top of the head to signal for him and Remus to leave, before nodding his head for Peter to do the same. After a few grumbles, the three eventually left the room, leaving both you and James alone. âHey, did you see Lily at breakfast today? Marls said she was âbout ready to stab someone, must mean the planâs working.â
âRight, yeah, thatâs great, James.â You murmured distantly, almost as if you werenât really listening, which was what caught James attention. A frown came over his face and he took a step closer to you, tilting his head slightly in confusion.
âIs something wrong? What did you want to talk about?â
âUs. I mean â this whole dating thing. Fake dating thing.â You clarified, mentally sighing at how nervous you already were. It was already proving to be more difficult than you could handle.
âI think we should end this.â
âThis? The plan? No. Why would we do that?â James questioned frantically, his frown only growing. Truly, he didnât know if he was upset because he didnât want to backtrack with Lily, or if it was because he didnât want to stop being with you.
âBecause, it ran itâs course. It worked, it did what it was supposed to do. I think going on any longer would just be beating a dead horse, yâknow? And you canât exactly get with Lily if you have a girlfriend, even if itâs fake.â
âNo â No, we have to keep going. Weâre not done yet,â James was trying to come up with a reason. He didnât know why, you did have a point. But the idea of ending things caused a feeling in his gut, and he didnât like it. âThere â thereâs the Yule Ball. We canât break up before the Yule Ball.â
âAsk Lily. I overheard her talking with Marlene and Mary about how she wished she could go with you.â
âThen Iâd just seem like an asshole who left his girlfriend for another girl.â
âJames,â you sighed. He was making it more difficult than you thought he would. You almost thought heâd be happy, that it had worked well enough he could be with Lily now. âIt wonât seem that way. Ask Lily to the Yule Ball. This has to be over, okay? I just â it has to be, Iâm sorry.â
You left before he could come up with another reply, leaving both yourself and James completely devastated and wishing for something that never really existed.
Two weeks and some moping later, it was finally time for the Yule Ball. Something that you should be excited for â all of your friends were.
But, it was hard to be excited when you knew the person you were in love with would be going with another girl. Sirius had offered to go with you, as friends, of course. You had updated him on why you ended things with James and you figured he wanted to distract you from it all. However, you declined â you knew he wanted to go with Remus and you didnât want to stand in the way of their night.
Amos Diggory had asked you as well â you thought about saying yes at first, not wanting to be the only person without a date, but it would be cruel to lead him on, so you simply said you wanted to go alone.
It hurt, hearing Lily gush over James as she got ready. You were so used to hearing her complain about his antics and gestures, and now she was swooning and you didnât think you could bear it. Mary kept sending you sympathetic glances â clearly your moping hadnât been as subtle as you thought.
It even hurt when you were there, surrounded by friends. James avoided eye contact, always either making an excuse of getting drinks for him and Lily or simply staying silent â something very rare for him.
A slow song eventually came on, all of your friends rushing off with their dates to get the first dance of the night, all of them blushing and giggling. And you were happy for them, you were. You just wished you could join in the feeling, rather than sitting alone to the sidelines.
The even was going by dreadfully slow, and you were beginning to contemplate just leaving early â making an excuse that your head hurt, or you were sick â whenever Amos came up to you.
âHey â I know you didnât want to come with anyone. Or with me, at least. But you seem lonely,â he started, before plopping down on the seat next to you. âDo you want to dance? No strings attached.â
âI â that would be lovely, actually.â
He grabbed your hand, pulling you up and over to the âdance floor,â which was really just the middle of the Great Hall. You immediately felt less awkward than you had before â even if it wasnât James, at least you werenât sitting by yourself.
âDid you say no to me because of James?â
âWhat?â
âDid you not want to come with me because youâre still hung up on James? You two seemed really⌠happy, together. I guess I shouldâve figured you werenât over him.â
âOh, we were never actually ââ You were cut off, both yours and Amosâ heads looking up to the figure who interrupted you. James.
âSorry, mate, do you mind if I steal her for a moment? Thanks.â James didnât wait for either of you to respond, instead pulling you to the complete opposite side of the room.
He avoided making eye contact with you, leaving you more confused than you were two seconds ago. What was the point of pulling you over here if he didnât have anything to say?
âIt looked like you and Lily were having fun,â you decided to speak, hoping to ease whatever tension was building between the two of you.
âWhat? Oh yeah, sure. I guess,â he said, practically waving you off. It was as if he wasnât even listening, his mind in a totally different world. âI need to say something. And I need you to not interrupt me. Okay?â
You nodded, part of you terrified for what was about to come. You couldnât think of anything you had done to him recently. You hadnât even spoken to him, how could you have possibly upset him? What could he possibly need to talk about?
âIâve always been in love with Lily. Since as long as I can remember, itâs been her. I didnât even give anyone else a chance, because she had to be the one.â
âGee. Thanks for the reminder, James.â
âWait. Iâm not done. I never gave anyone a chance. Not a serious one, at least. And â and then you showed up. And I know it was supposed to be fake, and it was supposed to just make Lily jealous. But, somewhere I think⌠I think I realized that maybe sheâs not the one. Because whenever you ended things, it felt like â I donât know, it sort of felt like my heart was missing.â
He kept rambling, and you opened your mouth to interrupt. To ask if he was saying what you thought he was. But, he quickly shushed you, holding a finger up to signal he was still talking.
âAnd, I thought maybe I just liked the attention. Liked being in a relationship. But, Iâm here with Lily and itâs not the same. It doesnât feel the same. I donât feel the same. I just, I guess what Iâm trying to say is, youâre the only person who made me feel so seen, so⌠so me. Does that make sense? I just, I think I might be in love with you.â He finally finished up, letting his eyes fall to your face, his eyes wide as if he had just confessed to murder.
You could tell he was nervous, but you stayed silent, blinking slowly as you processed his words. âYou can â you can say something now. Please say something.â
âI think I may be in love with you, too, Potter.â You finally spoke, watching the grin that slowly took over his face once he realized what you said.
âReally?â He tried not to show how giddy he was, tried not to seem too much like a child who was just told they could get ice cream. But how was he supposed to contain himself when you just told him you loved him, too? How was he supposed to pretend like he wasnât on cloud fucking nine?
âYes. Now, are you gonna kiss me, or do I have to do it myself?â
1K notes
¡
View notes