pokemonincorrectquotes - Tumblr blog

[pokemonincorrectquotes]

Lillie: Why are you smiling?

Moon: What? I can't just be happy?

Gladion: Sun tripped and fell in the parking lot.

(Guess who's back after being missing for a year, that's right! it's this girl right here!)

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Volkner: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight. 
Flint: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther? 
Volkner, already taking off his clothes: God, Flint, you’re so fucking stupid.

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Volkner: Two brooooos! 
Flint: Chillin' in a hot tub! 
Volkner: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay! 
Flint: 
Volkner: 
Flint: *tearing up* 
Volkner: Babe, c'mon... 
Flint: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING. 
Volkner: Babe...

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Aaron: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. 
Flint: You're like 16 years old 
Aaron: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

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Saturn: Okay, help me please!
Mars: Got two words for you.
Saturn: I bet they won't be helpful.
Mars: Your problem.
Saturn: I was right

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Gold: *kisses Silver*

Silver: What is this?

Gold: Affection.

Silver: Disgusting.

Silver:

Silver : Do it again.

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Silver (Teen): Hey, Father? Can I get some dating advice? 
Giovanni: Just because I'm with you're mother doesn't mean I know how I did it.

(Sorry for being gone for a month)

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Archer: And now for a gay update with Petrel and Proton. 
Petrel: Getting gayer. 
Proton: Thank you, Petrel.

(This is a old draft)

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Petrel: I asked Proton out. 
Ariana: Oh, I’m sorry. 
Petrel: Why? 
Archer: Well, we assume he said no. 
Petrel: No, he said yes. 
Archer: Really? Then I’m sorry for him.

(This is a old draft)

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Archer: That shirt looks great, Proton. 
Proton: Thanks. 
Archer: But I bet it would look even better on Petrel's floor. 
Petrel: Are you hitting on Proton... for me?

(This is a old draft)

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Petrel: I didn't drink that much last night. 
Archer: You were flirting with Proton. 
Petrel: So what? He's my boyfriend. 
Archer: You asked if he were single. 
Archer: And then you cried when he said he weren't.

(This is a old draft)

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Ariana: Hey, Petrel, are you free on Friday? Like around eight? 
Petrel: Yeah. 
Ariana: And you, Proton? 
Proton: Umm... yes? 
Ariana: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date! 
Proton: Did she just-

(This is a old draft)

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(Sorry for not posting a lot of incorrect quotes will be coming out today I promise!)

Proton: So, what is Petrel to you? 
Archer: The reason I wake up every morning. 
Proton: ...That’s adorable. 
Petrel earlier that morning, barging into Archer′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

(This is a old draft)

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Clearing out old drafts

Matt, sweating: Tabitha, there’s something I need to ask you- 
Tabitha: Finally! You’re proposing! 
Matt: How’d you know? 
Tabitha: Matt, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner. 
Tabitha: I even picked it up once.

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Lillie, skipping rocks on a lake with Gladion: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Gladion: Yeah, it is.

Gladion: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.

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Gladion: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?

Moon: Your life?

Gladion: I- well yes, but-

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Flint trying to be a responsible older brother

Buck: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Flint: Mind your language!
Buck: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Flint:
Buck: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

But he fails at it...every single time-