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polarizeapps-blog · 7 years

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adore delano

the writer !!

name/alias: Elm

pronouns: They/them

timezone: CET. CEST during summer.

other characters: No.

anything else you want us to know: My activity would be around 4-7, all depending. I usually feel much safer and better when I’m in a group from the beginning, otherwise I can be a very awkward turtle and have trouble getting into it all. I’m a very experienced role-player, though, and always try to bring my best.

the muse !!

name: Adore Delano (Danny Noriega)

age + birthday: September 29, 1989, 27 years old.

job: Drag musician.

gender + pronouns: Non-binary. Doesn’t care about pronouns, her/she, he/him, they/them is all fine.

faceclaim: Adore Delano.

secret: Growing up, Danny didn’t have any friends. He turned to the camera and Youtube and started doing sketches. It was a way for him to express himself and connect with people. Danny has also stated that he wanted men to see him. What he didn’t mention is that he used to, well, “meet” men and got paid for those go-sees as a teen. Adore trough the years has gotten criticism for not being classically drag but has gone her own way with style inspired by grunge, the rebellious girls of the 90s and rock trash. Though Adore comes across as confident, self-secure and outspoken, Danny is battling with anxiety and self-doubt. Adore often comments on social media about her love for pizza and the need for training, but underlaying that, Adore just might battling with eating disorder.

the interview !!

*answer the first two questions ic or ooc! these do not have to have lengthy answers. a few sentences will do just fine!

how hard is your character trying to keep this a secret?: Danny isn’t hiding the fact that he is sexual and sexual active. He is for sex positivity and body positivity. That he used to hook, though, isn’t something that he wants to acknowledge or wish to be known. Partly, he is embarrassed by it. Though Adore isn’t ashamed of her hood, non-white upbringing, she feels like that her having had sex for money would stereotype her in a hurtful way, playing into the Latinx wild thrive for sex and passion. She also doesn’t want to encourage young people to do the same. She’s all for sex, but doing it for money can be dangerous, and she doesn’t want any young fans she might have having sex for the wrong reasons. Her possible eating disorder is a secret she doesn’t want to come out, both because it’s shameful, part because she doesn’t want to recognise it and get help. Her anxiety she is somewhat open with, but not how much it can cripple her.

how would your character react if the secret got out to everyone?: Adore would probably try to laugh it out and try to embrace it into her rebellious rockfish rebell queen persona. Danny, underneath it all, would feel hurt and scared. It might worsen the anxiety, and have him have to face his fears and experiences and work with it.

are you okay with your character being talked about on the gossip blog?: Of course!

the accounts !!

main blog: Will be made if accepted.

hangouts account: Will be made if accepted.

sideblog: Will be made if accepted.

anything else?

Adore is the drag persona Danny performs as, and is a full artist that sings live, have albums, and what have you. Adore recently stated that they identify as non-binary and that the line between their boy and girl selves are becoming blurred so I will mix references and probably refer more to Adore than to Danny.

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polarizeapps-blog · 7 years

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harry styles

the writer !!

name/alias: Styles pronouns: she/her timezone: BRT other characters: none yet anything else you want us to know: ummm idk really iadhfkajs

the muse !!

name: Harry Styles age + birthday: 23 yo, feb 1st 1994 job: solo artist/actor gender + pronouns: male, he/him

secret: Harry suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, which gets him to have severe mood swings during the day, triggered by the least important things. His disorder also gets him to use all sorts of things to get rid of his usual boredom, usually them being sex, alcohol, weed and cocaine. Though he wouldn’t exactly say he’s addicted to any of them - he’ll go for long periods without really doing anything and without really craving for it, but he’ll be bored out of his mind-, he will use things as soon as presented to him. That means he’s been drinking more than he lets show, and smoking and snorting more than he actually would like to admit. He loathes the fact that he has that disorder because it makes him fear rejection. He thinks that whoever knows about it will walk away from him, leaving him on his own little world to destroy himself even further. He may sometimes even say that he’s clean of the drugs, which is a complete and total lie. He found out about his disorder when he was 15. After his parents got divorced - back when he was still a little child - he started feeling guilty for not being able to fix their relationship, even though they still got along just fine, the fact that he couldn’t get his dad to live with him, his mum and his sister was still something that bothered him. By the time he reached 12 he started acting a little off, quieter than he used to be, and his parents just waved it off as a teenager thing. At the age of 14 his depression got stronger and he started self harming, but his mum only really noticed one year later, which was when he was taken to a psychiatrist and diagnosed with BDP. After that, with medication, he got a little better for a while, and things only got bad again about a year after joining One Direction, which was when he stopped taking his medication, never really having picked it back up.

the interview !!

*answer the first two questions ic or ooc! these do not have to have lengthy answers. a few sentences will do just fine!

how hard is your character trying to keep this a secret?: He’s trying to hide his disorder with everything he has in him. He’s had people leave him in the past saying he’s a bad person just because of his illness and he really doesn’t want it to happen ever again. He’s sworn to protect the secret with his life. how would your character react if the secret got out to everyone?: He’d probably panic and go into a self destructive binge, drink too much, snort too much, he’d probably hide from the world and never really want to be seen again. are you okay with your character being talked about on the gossip blog?: yes!

the accounts !!

main blog: http://joinmeinpieces.tumblr.com/ hangouts account: [email protected] sideblog: https://secretstylcs.tumblr.com/

anything else? hmm nope!!!

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polarizeapps-blog · 7 years

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hayley williams

the writer !!

name/alias: Shannon || Shan pronouns: She/ Her timezone: Eastern Standard other characters: N/A anything else you want us to know: I have a pretty spotty internet connection and I work, so that might interfere with my activity sometimes.

the muse !!

name: Hayley Nichole Williams age + birthday: 28, December 27th job: Paramore, Vocalist + Co-Founder of GoodDYEYoung gender + pronouns: She/Her

faceclaim: N/A

secret:

When Hayley was in middle school she had a female best friend, Danni. The two were nearly inseparable and though they both had fairly outgoing personalities, Hayley was easily the quieter and less confident of the two. This became most relevant on a specific Friday night, after Danni had spent the majority of the week trying to convince Hayley to attend a high school party with her; eventually she’d given in.

For awhile things went well, they drank punch, danced, and had a great time. It wasn’t until Danni decided that she and Hayley would meet up with two strange guys, whom she’d met at another party only days ago. Then things got untidy; despite Hayley’s plee, Danni insisted her friend stay “chill” and let the chips fall where they may. Hayley struggled with the decision: do as told, or intervene somehow? Despite her better judgment, she chose the first option and stayed quiet, deciding to call for a ride home. The next day, Hayley found out her best friend had been raped.

Feeling an extreme amount of guilt, Hayley did all that was in her power to fix Danni. She had to fix Danni. After all, Hayley knew what it was like. She herself had once been sexually assaulted by a family friend.

Danni; traumatized beyond repair and depressed, blamed Hayley and in the long run— couldn’t handle what had happened to her. She committed suicide a few months after the incident.

A few nights later, after the Williams family had returned from Danni’s funeral, Hayley went up to her room to prepare herself for bed. During her usual routine, she found a note tapped to the back of her journal. There was no name, but the letter informed her, that if she ever gave out names of the people involved in Danni’s incident, she’d pay for it. Hayley never mentioned the note to her parents, or friends and simply went on with her life, fearful of whoever had left the note in the first place.

Despite knowing anyone in her position would be afraid, Hayley’s guilt only deepened when she wouldn’t speak up. In all reality, she hadn’t even known either of the boys, otherwise she would have given them up in her very first interview with police. However, she still blamed herself for the occurrence just as much as her friend and as a result, eventually developed a disorder called Aboulomania, which in short, is crippling indecision.

Afraid of almost every possible outcome, Hayley severely struggled to make even the simple decision of which shoes to wear on a rainy day. As if that wasn’t complicated enough, she was also impulsive; often making quick decisions and acting on them, simply to avoid any actual thought or fear of the outcome.

Jump several years into the future, and Hayley is 26. She’s held the secret in her bones for a very long time. Another note never came. Eventually, she went to the police, note in hand. Only to find out they’d long ago caught one of the now men, responsible. Just one. Shortly after she handed in the first note, she began receiving notes again. All the time.

One night, her home was broken into and she found herself fighting against the guy from the party who’d never been caught. He raped her; telling her the entire story. He’d sent the notes. He’d never stopped watching her. He’d even followed her to the station on that faithful day, all in efforts to stay out of prison. Hayley knew if she didn’t fight back, he’d kill her. Grabbing for the knife she’d taped to the bottom of her nightstand just nights before, Hayley practically butchered the man.

The rest of her night was filled with police sirens and doctors staring at her ruefully. As Hayley lay in the hospital bed that night, all she could think about was the knife in her hand, the life she’d taken and how she would never recover.

Despite “escaping” the predators of her past, Hayley did not come out of the events unscathed. Not only did she never grow out of her Aboulomania or impulse disorder, she inherited a few new quirks. In her 28th year, Hayley has become prone to bruises, cuts and scrapes. That’s because she now pays people to rough her up- punishing herself for all the choices she’s made that have left someone else hurting, including herself.

This is something she manages to keep hidden from most people, by showing the public a version of herself that can take just about anything the world throws. But Hayley can’t take everything, her demeanor is cracking and she knows it. That won’t stop her habit though. After all, she’s got the money to get the doctors to never ask questions.

She takes and is dependent both Paxil ( an OCD medication) and Lithium (a BEHAVIORAL medication) accompanied by frequent visits with a therapist, to maintain her hold on everyday life.

Several years later, Hayley is still haunted by the memory of Danni (hears her voice, sees her in places, etc.) She knew exactly what Danni had been through; and now she’s being punished for not saving her. Hayley knows there is something wrong with her. She wishes she could change, but so far has had no luck.

the interview !!

*answer the first two questions ic or ooc! these do not have to have lengthy answers. a few sentences will do just fine!

how hard is your character trying to keep this a secret?: Man, so hard. If any of this ever got out, people would probably see me as an entirely different person. how would your character react if the secret got out to everyone?: Why ask that? I don’t know how I’d react, honestly. are you okay with your character being talked about on the gossip blog?: Yes!

the accounts !!

main blog: guddyeweams.tumblr.com hangouts account: [email protected] sideblog: [email protected]

anything else?

I love your group’s plot! I can’t wait for you to open. Also, sorry Hayley’s secret is so elaborate and long, xo

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polarizeapps-blog · 7 years

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halsey

the writer !!

name/alias: emma pronouns:she/her timezone: eastern other characters: nada anything else you want us to know: nope!

the muse !!

name: ashley frangipane age + birthday: 9/29/94 , 22 years old job: solo artist! gender + pronouns: she/her

faceclaim: if applicable

secret: ashley’s miscarriage isn’t a secret anymore but whose child it possibly could’ve been is definitely a secret, most people assume it was her on-and-off again ex boyfriend but what her fans and the public don’t know is that she was also sleeping with luke hemmings. they had been sleeping on and off again for years and yes while ashley was in a relationship so the miscarriage that she had was actually luke hemming’s child, she figured it out from the time of conception. ashley never became official with luke because she ended up getting a boyfriend and they were honestly just afraid to go official (her and luke) and they just never did. while ashley was in this relationship it was very toxic, the both of them were toxic to each other and both bad for each other; he brought out ashley’s mood swings and she was rude to him and moody towards him and the guy fought with her, did drugs with her, drank with her. they were very toxic to each other, he was mentally and sometimes physically abusive; nothing noticeable because he didt want anyone to notice the marks on her.

the interview !!

*answer the first two questions ic or ooc! these do not have to have lengthy answers. a few sentences will do just fine

how hard is your character trying to keep this a secret?: the secret of whose child she miscarried she is trying to keep that one very hard because she doesn’t want anyone to know 1) that she was cheating 2) that she sleeps/slept with luke. how would your character react if the secret got out to everyone?: not very well tbh, she would probably go into hiding and let her publicist handle everything. are you okay with your character being talked about on the gossip blog?:yes!

the accounts !!

main blog: https://spaceprincesshalsey.tumblr.com/ hangouts account: spaceprincesshalsey sideblog: https://insidehalseysmind.tumblr.com/

anything else?

just a ex hooking up and the plot mentioned with luke!

done with your app? submit it here.

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polarizeapps-blog · 7 years

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luke hemmings

the writer !!

name/alias: Penny pronouns: she/her timezone: Eastern other characters: nope anything else you want us to know: I’m most definitely a night owl type, so my activity is non-existent during the day but I’m generally around every night.

the muse !!

name: Luke Hemmings age + birthday: 20. July 16th. job: Vocalist for 5 Seconds of Summer gender + pronouns: Male. He/ him.

faceclaim: if applicable

secret: Luke has always been the baby, whether its in his own family being the youngest brother of three or in the band being the youngest member. However, his drive has always been one of his main positive attributes however when it came to his personal life it has been a downfall. His want to be in a band made him sort of the focus of his mom. She allowed him to have whatever he wanted, she let his schoolwork slide, she took time off from her own job to travel with the band when they were starting out. This led to a bit of a rift between him and his older brothers. They already picked on him relentlessly as brothers do but once Liz left with them to tour it became more vicious. They were always sending him mocking texts and being generally verbally abusive because “the baby” got what he wanted and they lost their mum for a couple of years. Now that Luke is older and living on his own he very rarely goes home to Australia. His brothers know that he’s their size now but they make it a point to flat out ignore him unless their mum enforces a family dinner. Because he tries to stay away from his family and he hates being left alone Luke takes to finding companionship where he can, whether it be with friends or complete strangers at a club or wherever he ends up. He’s never opposed to a night spent in a questionable hotel room with whatever drugs come through as well as his penchant for drinking to excess, that was glaringly displayed throughout their last tour. Luke knows its risky in that if anyone finds out what he actually does it could negatively effect his and his friends livelihoods but he can’t find it in himself to give in and be in contact with his family or to establish any real lasting friendships that could drag him away from the thrill he has when he’s out and about.

the interview !!

*answer the first two questions ic or ooc! these do not have to have lengthy answers. a few sentences will do just fine!

how hard is your character trying to keep this a secret?: Luke isn’t trying terribly hard to keep it a secret, simply because he’s always seen out and about with different people. He does try to pass it off as just an occasional outing with friends but unless he’s with his band he knows the rumours are going to swirl. how would your character react if the secret got out to everyone?: Luke would privately panic but outwardly play it off. He’s fully aware of any cracks that appear outwardly would be capitalized upon and he’s a world class internal worrier so he’d internalize it and show a brave face to anyone on the outside. are you okay with your character being talked about on the gossip blog?: Yes

the accounts !!

main blog: gothrockhermitcrab.tumblr.com hangouts account: emokookaburra sideblog: melodiouskoalahonking.tumblr.com

anything else?

I think everything here is covered but it’s also entirely possible that in my tired state I overlooked something.

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polarizeapps-blog · 7 years

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vic fuentes

the writer !!

name/alias: Paola pronouns: she / her timezone: EST other characters: no anything else you want us to know: will be most active around the late morning/early afternoon & very late in the night

the muse !!

name: Vic Fuentes age + birthday: February 10, 34 years old job: band is pierce the veil, lead singer gender + pronouns: he / him

secret: It’s always been suspicious how Vic Fuentes seems to wear a gold ring on his left hand, on his ring finger, yet he isn’t even in a relationship. He’s at that age now, in his 30’s when everyone around him is settling down with their sweethearts and having kids, while Vic’s on a completely different page. He’s been making music for over a decade now, he’s living everyone’s childhood dream. He’s happy with that aspect for the most part, but he’s honestly alone. Loneliness is something he would never admit, not even believe that himself. Because whenever he’s asked about that ring on his finger, he avoids answering. Because he’s married. Or used to be. Vic got married to his girlfriend in Vegas, secretly. But they didn’t even get a chance to tell anyone because as they were returning from their honeymoon, a bad car accident killed her, and only merely grazing him. Despite the fact that it was over 2 years ago, he’s still recovering. He hasn’t been with anyone since, because in his mind, he’s still married, still devastated. Highly uncomfortable with liking anyone he has a romantic connection with. Who knows this’ll end up affecting him in the long run, whether he’ll truly learn to like someone else. But this secret definitely has caused him to develop some bad habits. Vic doesn’t know how to cope with stress well. So whenever he’s feeling the pressure and no one’s looking, he’ll sneak away and go outside. What does he do? He smokes a cigarette to calm his nerves. Only occasionally, and he’ll go through extensive measures to make sure no one suspects a thing, because who would look up to someone with secret vices?

the interview !!

how hard is your character trying to keep this a secret?: Vic doesn’t understand that he’s a widower and refuses to accept it in anyway, so by keeping this a secret, he’s essentially keeping his delusion as much as possible. He pretty much never talks about it, so it would be accurate to say that he is trying fairly hard to make sure no one finds out. how would your character react if the secret got out to everyone?:There would be a lot of shame, and he would basically be forced to through grieving again because there would be so many people trying to make sense of his situation, he would go a little crazy. are you okay with your character being talked about on the gossip blog?: yes

the accounts !!

main blog: hometownlover hangouts account: collectionless sideblog: darkbluefades

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polarizeapps-blog · 7 years

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chrissy costanza

the writer !!

name/alias: Ree

pronouns: she/her

timezone: GMT!

other characters: Nope!

anything else you want us to know: I suffer from a chronic illness so I’m online pretty much 24/7!

the muse !!

name: Chrissy Costanza!

age + birthday: 21, birthday is August 23rd

job: lead singer of Against The Current

gender + pronouns: She/Her!

secret: Chrissy dated her photography teacher in high school when she was 16, which ultimately ended up with her getting kicked out of school and him landing in prison. What they didn’t know, however, was that Chrissy was pregnant. When she found out she got an abortion in a back street clinic and ended up abusing drugs and alcohol given to her by her older cousins. She moved to L.A to get clean and now, five years later, has reunited with Aiden and they are engaged, much to everyone at home’s horror.

the interview !!

how hard is your character trying to keep this a secret?: I don’t mind people knowing we’re engaged, I could scream that from the rooftop, but I would die if people found out about the pregnancy. Especially Aiden.

how would your character react if the secret got out to everyone?: I… would probably go into hiding.

are you okay with your character being talked about on the gossip blog?: absolutely!

the accounts !!

main blog: lionchrissy.tumblr.com

hangouts account: [email protected]

sideblog: chrissydreamingalone.tumblr.com

anything else?

Aiden Gabe Patel (@oldbeanwater) is Chrissy's fiance! His writer should be applying soon :)

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polarizeapps-blog · 7 years

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aiden patel

the writer !!

name/alias: Erin/Frankie pronouns: She/Her timezone: EST other characters: Nope! anything else you want us to know: I work 3/7 days a week and I’m taking 2 summer classes so I may not be as active as I usually am, but I’ll try my best to keep up with it all!

the muse !!

name: Aiden Patel age + birthday: 27 + September 3 job: Freelance Photographer gender + pronouns: Male + He/Him

faceclaim: Devran Taskesen (from Instagram)

secret: Aiden went to prison for dating Chrissy Costanza while she was still a minor, and he spent the last five years apart from her while he was serving time and waiting for a certain document to no longer be worth anything, and as he waited he experimented with his photo style and with other women. At one point before he saw Chrissy again, Aiden got a woman pregnant and had a child with her, and to top it all off, he ended up becoming the sole caregiver of the child when the mother proved herself unfit to take care of it. Aiden hasn’t told Chrissy yet about this, simply because he doesn’t want to lose her again; the story he’s fed her about it is that it belonged to a friend of his that didn’t want to keep it and knew he could provide for it. However, among all of this, Aiden couldn’t be happier about having this child. During those five years, he also was a victim of a drive by shooting and was shot in his side, so he sees a physical therapist somewhat regularly.

the interview !!

*answer the first two questions ic or ooc! these do not have to have lengthy answers. a few sentences will do just fine!

how hard is your character trying to keep this a secret?: Very hard. Aiden doesn’t want Chrissy to know anything about the child, because he feels like he she knew he slept with another woman while he was waiting to see her again, he thinks that she won’t love him anymore and that would be the end of everything. how would your character react if the secret got out to everyone?: He would be very embarrassed. He doesn’t want people knowing that he spent time in prison or that he’s had papers served to him before, and he certainly doesn’t want to know that he was sleazy and didn’t actually informally adopt a child. are you okay with your character being talked about on the gossip blog?: Yes!

the accounts !!

main blog: oldbeanwater.tumblr.com hangouts account: roast.enthusiast sideblog: fkcty.tumblr.com

anything else?

Chrissy Costanza and Aiden are engaged, as well as Aiden having a child! The child’s faceclaim is rhiannonashlee on insta!

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polarizeapps-blog · 7 years

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alex gaskarth

the writer !!

just wanna apologise here too cos the submit box won’t let me edit the full layout of the app or stay that way when i copy and paste… fml.

name/alias: eve pronouns: she/her timezone: GMT other characters: nope! anything else you want us to know: i’m in another group so my activity could fluctuate but i imagine i’ll be on the dash pretty often!

the muse !!

name: alex gaskarth age + birthday: 29, 14th december job: vocalist of all time low gender + pronouns: cis male, he/him

faceclaim: n/a

secret: I just want to apologise for how long this is… Alex’s secrets kinda grew arms and legs the longer I played him. So, it’s summarised, and then the full version is below it, along with a bit of history about he and John O’Callaghan’s relationship since it’s relevant (I should be joining with the Johno reserve but if they don’t join then I’ll edit some things later!). BUT I’M REALLY SORRY BECAUSE IT’S HUGE.

SUMMARY

Alex’s first girlfriend falls pregnant with their child aged sixteen, but aborts it without his knowledge. After their break-up, Alex suffers a groin injury in gym class that leaves him infertile, and heartbroken over the idea that he could have been a father had it not been for the abortion.

Later in life, Alex’s second girlfriend falls pregnant after sleeping with him and an unknown man around the same time. They were, however, not together at the time, and she is unaware of his slim-to-none chances of conceiving. She’s aware he doesn’t want to be with her and is too afraid to reveal the child could be his, and chooses to raise it never attempting to find out who the real father is. They remain friends and Alex dotes on the little girl he calls his niece.

A twisted, drug-fuelled relationship with a third girl on tour results in her six-year-old son accidentally consuming ecstasy belonging to Alex while in his care. He saves his life after the child suffers a heart attack but the mother is understandably sickened and furious with Alex, refusing to let him see the boy ever again and cutting all contact with him.

Alex sleeps around even more to cope afterwards, including with fans of his band (never underage though), and is eventually diagnosed with Histronic Personality Disorder and sex addiction to go alongside his lifelong struggle with anxiety.

Lastly, Alex got together with John O’Callaghan in the summer three years ago. At first it was just sex but soon became more. At one point, John was struggling with the idea of falling in love with Alex, and broke up with him. The abandonment sent Alex into a downward spiral and he was taking more drugs than he ever had. He eventually overdosed by accident and ended up in hospital; John attempted to visit but to no avail. Days after being released, Alex overdosed again – this time, purposefully. The mixture of drugs in his system gave him a heart attack. Despite refusing rehab or therapy, Alex went on to make a full recovery these past few months, and he and John got back together whilst he was in hospital. They’ve been going steady for a while now, openly in love with each other, but Alex still struggles to fight his demons. His addictions still taunt him daily. His boyfriend doesn’t know his second overdose was an attempted suicide, either.

DETAILS

At aged fourteen, Alex got his first girlfriend, whom he lost his virginity to at fifteen, and that relationship went on to last until he was sixteen. They broke up due to feeling like they needed to explore new things – they were only young, after all.

At least, that was what they told everyone. And while it was partly true, their relationship had grown particularly strained after Alex got her pregnant recently after they turned sixteen. There was some debate about whether she should abort or not, and she ended up doing so without fully consulting Alex first. They had agreed to leave it for a weekend and think about what they both wanted, make a decision from there… but she went with her mother to the clinic and got the baby aborted on the Saturday afternoon. Her parents had always hated Alex, and her older brother thought he was bad news too. Alex was heartbroken, but he understood it was ultimately not his decision, and they would have struggled to handle a baby at their age anyway. Though, he couldn’t help but feel her parents had talked her into it to spite him, and the fact she’d went through with it was painful to think about. Even so, their relationship continued for a few more months after that, and only their parents ever knew about the pregnancy. Despite their relationship ending on a fairly mutual note, they didn’t keep in touch after high school.

Soon after the break-up, however, when Alex was just barely seventeen, he suffered an injury in gym class to his groin – hit in the balls by a baseball, something he would’ve laughed about, had it not been so serious. It rendered him infertile. There was little to no chance he would ever conceive a child. Alex was only young, but he’d always pictured himself being a dad someday. He was crushed to think that if his ex hadn’t aborted, he could have had his chance to be a father, before it was too late. His whole life would have been very different, but he could’ve had a kid. He kept that to himself though, too hurt to explain it to everyone – too much of a long story to spill to his friends that he’d gotten his girlfriend pregnant and hidden it from everyone. It wasn’t like he was in a relationship with anybody who wanted a child; he didn’t see any need to talk about it. Not even to his parents.

When Alex was eighteen, he met a girl a couple of years older than him, and she soon became a serious girlfriend of his, lasting until he was twenty-three. In that time, his band took off, he bought a house… he grew up. He and this second girlfriend had a mutual break-up upon realising they had no time for each other, with their careers both needing serious focus to stay afloat, but subsequently stayed firm friends. Secretly, Alex also wanted to lead more of a ‘rockstar’ lifestyle – it was only after this break-up that he became truly promiscuous.

Some time later, when home from tour, he went through a short period of hooking up with this ex. Her feelings for him began to resurface, but it was more than obvious Alex wasn’t looking to rekindle anything. Upset, she goes out drinking and has a drunken one-night stand with a nameless man in an attempt to feel better. Only after this does she realise she’s fallen pregnant. Unaware of Alex’s infertility, she was embarrassed and alone and scared. Convincing herself that even if the child was Alex’s, he wouldn’t be interested, she fabricated a lie for her friends and family about the father, telling them he was simply a man she’d been in the early stages of dating who didn’t want to know. She made her peace with never knowing if the daughter she gave birth to months later was fathered by Alex or her nameless hook-up. She and Alex stayed friends, and he didn’t think twice about the dates lining up, because why would that beautiful little girl be his?

When Alex was twenty-four, he entered a rather complex relationship with a single mother, her son only six years old at the time. She worked in the music industry and home-schooled him due to their sporadic travelling – his father had been out of the picture since he was very young, so she and her child were even closer than most mothers and sons.

This woman dabbled in drugs occasionally for recreational purposes – Alex understood it to be an escape for her. Their fling began when he shared his coke with her one night, finding there to be a connection, and not just because of their high. They slept together and it was the beginning of several long months of sex, drugs, and growing ever-closer to her and her son. The pair were a little more than friends-with-benefits, but never in love. Never ‘together.’ Neither could commit… through fear or just not wanting to. But Alex doted on her son and became a huge part of his life for a while. The three of them seemed to just amble along like a fake family. And it was actually quite lovely, for a time. Just what Alex needed, though it made him ache for a child of his own.

It was near perfect.

Until Alex fucked up.

Often, he would get high when she slept over and chose not to do it with him. She would sleep and he would snort. One night, he left out a small clear bag of his ecstasy pills, passing out in a stupor before he could store them safely; something he rarely forgot to do. Alex had promised to watch over her son that morning, as she had things to do, but Alex barely awake when the child arose. He got to the ecstasy pills before Alex even noticed they were still out – and subsequently had a heart attack.

It was only Alex’s quick reactions that saved the fitting child and got him to a hospital, but his mother was understandably not thankful for this.

She screamed at Alex that evening once her son was stable, tearing him apart for almost killing him, her baby, her whole world. Alex’s guilt was something that ‘consumed’ seemed too small a word to describe. He was completely heartbroken; he loved that boy, would never do a thing to intentionally hurt him.

The mother kept the story away from the press once popular music magazines caught snippets of why there had been ambulances on the tour, and Alex’s involvement in it was near enough erased. She didn’t want her child’s face and name plastered all over the internet, and she didn’t want a damn thing to do with Alex (or drugs) ever again. And a story like that would keep her forever tied to him. Hopeless Records got involved, helped she and Alex form a lie about some unknown person from the ensemble tour leaving drugs lying around (not on the All Time Low bus), to save Alex’s career and the band’s image, and keep his now ex-fling happy. She cut all contact and threatened Alex to stay away from her son, not even allowing the guilt-ridden man to say goodbye to the child he’d fallen in love with over her.

Alex entered a period of sleeping with anyone and everyone after the incident left him completely devastated. He had been promiscuous before, but this time, he was almost always drunk and/or high, and he wasn’t opposed to sleeping with fans. He lost count of the amount of All Time Low ‘groupies’ he fucked. They were never under-age, but he targeted them because they were often easier than seeking someone out in a bar after a show. It was too much effort for how depressed he was – he just wanted to fuck and forget. Rumours of it circulated the internet, but he ignored them, as did his record label, but none of it helped All Time Low’s image.

Slowly, though, that faded to black. He got a hold of himself again, though it took a while. He got better. As better as he could manage be. He totalled that he had slept with around a hundred-odd people in his lifetime, with the number increasing every time he felt too sad or just wanted a little fun.

Alex had suffered from anxiety his entire life, but was only after everything happened with the boy and his bouts of using sex to cover his emotions that Alex got diagnosed with something else – Histronic Personality Disorder (HPD). He was told it was on a more minor level, but he was still a sufferer, paired with a mild sex addiction. Read more about HPD here.

To this day, Alex struggles with everything that’s happened to him, but he tries not to let it swallow his life up. Sometimes he fails.

JOHN/ALEX HISTORY

In August of 2014, Alex began hooking up with The Maine frontman, John O’Callaghan. They grew closer over the following months, friendship blossoming when Alex went to stay in Arizona for a while that autumn, and then making their relationship official in February 2015 and announcing it to social media and their friends March 2015.

They helped each other. They healed each other.

Things were plain sailing until, that October, Alex finally admitted to John that he was in love with him. John panicked and left the house for several hours, returning to an upset Alex to say he loved him too. For Alex, the most blissful week of his entire life followed… until John sat him down, telling him things were too overwhelming, and that it didn’t feel right – he didn’t love him, and he felt they should spend some time apart. Crushed, Alex fell into a pit of depression. He tried to cover it with his old ways, partying and sex, but he was often drunk and never far from any sort of drug he could get his hands on. John had to watch from a distance as Alex slowly destroyed himself.

Finally, John realised he was in fact in love with Alex, but talking to him was impossible. Every time he tried, Alex was high, and talked nonsense until he grew hysterically upset. And in turn, John couldn’t handle that.

It was only when Alex took things too far and ended up in hospital on an overdose that John finally came to see him, but Alex screamed and got so upset that John thought it best he just leave again. Days after being released, Alex hadn’t learned his lesson. He overdosed again – purposefully this time. It resulted in a heart attack but he was taken to hospital a second time and now, months later, has went on to make a full recovery despite refusing therapy or rehab afterwards.

He never told John that he tried to kill himself with that second overdose. He didn’t think he needed to know. But Alex still battles his demons daily, despite finally going steady with John and getting his life a little more on track. His addictions taunt him. His fans and family and friends don’t know just how bad things were, either. They knew he had a bit of an addiction going on, knew that he’d went to hospital for taking it too far, but didn’t know it was a heart attack. Didn’t know he wanted to die that night. It was too upsetting – Alex didn’t see the need to let them all know.

He can’t give into everything though. He won’t. It would kill him for real this time.

the interview !!

*answer the first two questions ic or ooc! these do not have to have lengthy answers. a few sentences will do just fine!

how hard is your character trying to keep this a secret?: since alex has a variant of secrets… he very much wants all of them to stay on the down-low. but he would be most devastated if people knew just how much of a wreck he was in his personal life because he tries so hard to seem positive and like a good influence.

how would your character react if the secret got out to everyone?: he would be crushed, embarrassed, humiliated, angry… you name a negative emotion, he’d probably feel it. alex can be a dramatic boy at the best of times and he’s still kind of fragile so anything major could push him back towards the addictions that call to him so loudly.

are you okay with your character being talked about on the gossip blog?: yes!

the accounts !!

main blog: http://alxandr.tumblr.com/ hangouts account: [email protected] sideblog: http://thornedboy.tumblr.com/

anything else?

the john o’callaghan reserve should be joining with me! alex and john have been in a long-term relationship for a while now. and thanks for reading over my app! also, i’m sorry if his secret sounds a bit disjointed/strangely written here and there, it’s been written and re-written for so many apps now, sometimes i miss things when i’m editing it!

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