polarkook

[polarkook]

Cycle

Summary : Bucky gets jealous of your friendship with Bob… until he realises he has nothing to worry about

Pairing : New Avenger! Bucky Barnes x New Avenger! reader (she/her), Best Friend! Bob Reynolds

Warnings/tags : Hurt/comfort, jealousy, addiction recovery, sobriety milestones, protective!Bucky Barnes, found family, angst with a happy ending, trauma recovery, mentions of violent pasts. (Please let me know if I miss anything!!!)

Word count : 4.7k 

Requested by : @princekooks Based on this request

Note : I did add an addiction recovery plot loosely based on my own recovery to the request, just because I think it added depth, I hope you don’t mind! If you’d like to be on the taglist, message me! It gets lost in the comments sometimes. Enjoy!

Request Guidelines

○ buy me a ko-fi ○

It had been a Tuesday afternoon when you first met Bucky Barnes.

You were standing in a corner of a small, independent bookstore tucked between a laundromat and a bakery, thumbing through a well-worn copy of a book on recovery—one of those ones with a gently optimistic title and a forward written by someone who’d clearly survived something. You were trying to decide whether it sounded real or like the usual hollow platitudes when a voice spoke behind you, “I’ve read that one.”

You turned and met the eyes of a man who looked like he’d lived a few dozen lives. Hair tied back, red flannel rolled to the elbows, dark circles under his eyes like he'd been fighting sleep—or himself—for a long time.

“How is it?” you asked.

“It’s… okay,” he shrugged. “A little preachy.”

You gave him a half-laugh. “Most of them are.”

You found out his name a few minutes later—he introduced himself as Bucky, but quickly added, “You… probably know of me,” as his metal arm fidgeted under his sleeve.

You did, but you didn’t make it a big deal. You just smiled and told him your name, and that was the start of it.

At first, it was casual. You bumped into each other at the bookstore, exchanging recommendations, venting about how hard it was to find recovery books that didn’t make you want to scream or punch the wall or both. You started meeting every other Thursday at a cafe down the street, sharing dog-eared paperbacks and coffee that tasted burnt. You both playfully called it a “book club,” but really, it was just two people trying to connect.

Bucky knew you were addicted to something, based on the little notes you scribbled in your books, but he never asked what your addiction was. You knew he was the Winter Soldier, but never asked, either. There was a mutual understanding, and that trust was perhaps why you became so close so quickly.

But then…. one Thursday, you didn’t show up.

He waited an hour and forty minutes before paying for both coffees and walking out. He tried not to assume the worst, but he cared too many times not to worry. That night, when he knocked on your door, it was just to check in. Just to be sure.

You didn’t answer.

The second time, you did— but barely. You cracked the door and he saw you. 

You were sweating, shaking. Your eyes were unfocused and your skin was crawling. Bucky recognised it instantly as withdrawal. You tried to say something snarky, to act fine, but you stumbled halfway through the sentence.

He caught you before you hit the ground and carried you to the couch.

And he stayed all night.

While your body trembled and your teeth chattered and you swore and wept and curled in on yourself like you were trying to disappear, he stayed. He saw the emptied out vodka bottles on the sink and threw them out so you didn't have to see or smell them. He made you drink water, wiped your forehead with a cold cloth, and when you muttered apologies through half-conscious shame, he just said, “You don’t have to be sorry.”

You don’t remember when you finally fell asleep. But when you woke up, the sun was peeking through the blinds and he was there, sitting in your worn-out armchair, a book in his lap. 

He looked at you and said, “You don’t have to do this alone.”

This was the moment you realised he meant it.

That he’d seen you— ugly, sick, scared —and he stayed.

That’s when you started healing.

That’s when you started loving him, even if you didn’t know it yet.

—

You became better friends over the next few months. He even introduced you to Sam, who you affectionately said, “try to counsel me during brunch again and I will break your arm, cap.”

He introduced you to Joaquin, who recognised you but couldn’t remember why.  

You shrugged and laughed nervously saying how you “Must’ve just had one of those faces.”

The topic didn’t come up again until weeks later, when you were hanging out with Bucky past midnight.

You and Bucky were sitting on the fire escape outside your apartment, sharing a blanket and a pot of tea— it curbed your craving.

You watched the smoke from your mug swirl in the cold night air before you finally said it.

“I used to kill people for money.”

You didn’t look at him right away. You kept your eyes on the street below. Like maybe if you didn’t see his face, you could pretend the words didn’t hurt on their way out.

“I had to, to survive. That’s why Joaquin… recognised me. I crossed paths with his unit during the blip,” you added quietly. “I—I walked away. One day, I looked in the mirror and I didn’t recognise my own eyes.”

You heard Bucky shift beside you, moving closer. 

Bucky never said it outright, but he did suspect you were a veteran of violence, one way or another. 

“I started drinking to forget their faces,” you continued. “And then I drank to forget mine.” Your voice cracked, but you kept going. “I used to think if I just didn’t talk about it, it didn’t exist. But it does— in my mind, in my dreams, in reflections. And I still feel like maybe I don’t deserve to be sitting here— drinking tea with a friend.”

It was quiet again.

Then Bucky said, “I used to be a ghost too.”

You turned toward him. You knew, of course, but you let him speak.

“I didn’t have a choice,” he said, eyes locked on some distant memory. “But that doesn’t make it easier. They erased me, rewrote me, pointed me at people and made me pull the trigger.”

He let out a deep breath, like he'd been holding it in for years. “When I got out, I thought I’d never be more than what they made me. I didn’t think I could be someone good.”

You wiped a tear from your eyes as you placed your hand over his vibranium arm.

“I guess we were both weapons,” you whispered.

He looked at you then, really looked.

“No,” he said. “We are people. The world made us weapons.”

Your lower lip trembled, and this time you let yourself lean into him. He wrapped his arm around you, held you close, and the two of you sat there, sipping warmth from chipped mugs.

It wasn’t peace.

But it was a step in the right direction.

—

It had been exactly one year since you last drank.

Three hundred and sixty-five days since you’d woken up shaking, drenched in sweat and shame and pain, and found Bucky Barnes sitting in your armchair with a book in his lap.

One year since your body had begged for the thing that almost destroyed you—and you said no.

And somehow, for every day after, you kept saying no. Sometimes barely or screaming or crying on the floor. But you refused.

One-ish year since you started going to meetings, too.

You didn’t have a party. You didn’t post about it. You just stood by your window, holding a mug of herbal tea, trying to believe it was real.

Then there was a knock at your door.

You weren’t expecting anyone.

When you opened the door, it was Bucky.

He was still in his suit, no doubt fresh from a flight from DC. It’s been a month since you’ve seen him— campaigns and congress and all— but he always made time for you. He even kept his Thursday evening schedules clear just to talk to you on video call for hours when he couldn’t be here in person.

He looked a little awkward, like maybe he thought he was intruding. But in his hands, there was a small white bakery box.

He cleared his throat. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you smiled. “What’s this?”

He shrugged, looking sheepish. “Well, uh… it’s a cupcake.”

You arched a brow, letting him in and letting the door shut behind you.

“With a candle,” he added, following you in the kitchen. “One candle. For one year.”

You blinked as he held the box out to you, and you took it. Inside was a single cupcake— chocolate with vanilla frosting, slightly smushed on one side like maybe he’d carried it a bit too far in his work bag before giving up and just holding it. In the center of the frosting was a short blue candle.

“Bucky…” your voice cracked.

He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes flicking away for a second before returning to yours. “I figured… I know you didn’t want a huge thing. But also, it is. A year is a big deal. I thought maybe… we could light the candle and eat this together? Unless that’s weird.”

You shook your head, too choked up to speak right away. Instead, you shakily lit it. The flame danced gently, between you.

“I didn’t know what flavour you’d want,” he admitted. “I just got chocolate because you like mochas and statistically that seems like the safest bet.”

You let out a watery laugh, covering your mouth.

“Make a wish,” he said gently.

You looked at the candle, then at him, and for a second your heart skipped a beat. You didn’t need to wish. Everything you wanted was standing right in front of you.

Still, you closed your eyes, breathed in, and blew out the candle.

When you opened them again, Bucky was watching you like you were the most important thing he’d ever seen.

“I’m really proud of you,” he said.

Tears welled in your eyes again. “I wouldn’t have made it without you,” you whispered.

Bucky blinked hard and nodded, like he was trying to stay composed. But you could see the way his teeth clenched, how he looked down at the floor, then back at you, like he was trying to find the courage to jump off a cliff. “Okay, uh. Okay. So,” he tried to compose himself, running his free hand through his hair. I didn’t just come here for the cupcake.”

“No?” you furrowed your brows,

He shook his head. “I mean—I did come for that. But there’s more. There’s something I’ve been… sitting on. For a while. And I thought maybe… today… maybe I could just…” he stopped abruptly. He let out a shaky laugh that sounded like it might turn into a sob.

You stepped closer. “Bucky?”

He looked at you, and his eyes were glassy. “I’m sorry, I’m just— really nervous.”

“Why?” you asked, tilting your head.

“Because,” he said, his voice cracking. “It’s probably not the right time, but… I think if I don’t say it, I’ll regret it forever.”

“You can say anything to me,” You reached out and took his human hand, squeezing gently. “Whatever it is.”

He looked at your hands clasped together, then up at your face like it was the scariest thing he’d ever had to do. This man had been brainwashed and tortured,  yet here he was, more afraid of this than anything else.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I’m in love with you.”

Your breath was caught in your throat. You didn’t speak—couldn’t. His hand tightened in yours, and he rushed on, eyes wide, almost panicked.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen, okay? It just did. I started caring about you and then I couldn’t stop. You’d leave me little notes in your books and you’d laugh at my stupid jokes and I’d think about it for hours. You let me be there for you—you—you let me stay when you were at your worst and I’ve never felt more needed in my life and it’s not because you’re getting better or because I want to save you or anything like that. I just… —God, I don’t even know what I’m saying.”

He laughed again, wiping at his eyes with the heel of his hand.

But then… he saw tears welling in your eyes, and he panicked.

You were crying again—harder now. Real tears. Ugly, joyful, aching ones.

“I know it might be too soon,” he rushed on, “and if you’re not ready, I get it. You don’t owe me anything, and I swear I’ll still be here. But I just… I needed you to know.”

You were deathly close to full-bodied sobs now, streaks streaming down your cheeks.

“Fuck,” he said softly, heart dropping and already regretting everything, “I’m so— I’m sorry. I should’ve known it was too much and—

“I love you, too,” You interrupted with cute little hiccups.

His eyes widened. “You—?”

“You’re such an idiot.” You finally put the cupcake down, slightly squished on the sides too from your grip. “Of course I love you.”

His arms wrapped around you instantly, tightly, like he thought you might disappear. You buried your face in his chest, both of you crying now, holding onto each other. “I’ve loved you since the day you carried me to that couch and stayed,” you whispered. “Since you threw out those bottles so I didn’t have to look at them.”

He pulled back just enough to look at you, and then he kissed your forehead, your temple, then finally your lips.

It wasn’t perfect—it was messy and wet with tears and maybe your noses bumped— it was desperate and gentle all at once. He cupped your cheek like he was terrified you’d slip away, and you kissed him back like you finally understood what it meant to be safe.

When you finally pulled apart, foreheads pressed together, his breath hitched like he couldn’t quite believe it was happening.

That night, you ate the cupcake on the couch, curled into each other, sharing bites and jokes up until you were too tired.

Wrapped in Bucky’s arms as you drifted to sleep, you thought This is what healing looks like. 

—

Less than a year later, New York happened. The Void happened. When the dust finally settled and the new Avengers debuted unwillingly, you finally found a family, and more importantly— a chance to put your skills to good use.

Then, you both moved into the watchtower.

Bucky had always chosen the corner of any room he was in—somewhere with a clear view of the exits. So when you both moved in, it wasn’t a surprise that he picked the bedroom furthest from the common area. What did surprise you was how his arm always seemed to find its way around your waist when another person entered the room, even if they were just teammates. It wasn’t aggressive but it was a bit… possessive.

After the first couple of weeks, you grew close to Bob, in a way that went beyond team camaraderie. Bob became your best friend— someone you could talk to about the little things, the hard things, the stuff about addiction you didn’t want to tell Bucky because he couldn’t possibly understand the way Bob did. You shared jokes, late-night talks, and countless cups of terrible pod coffee in the common kitchen.

And Bucky noticed.

He noticed the way you laughed with Bob. The way Bob always seemed to get your pop culture references, the way your eyes lit up talking to him. The way you leaned in just a little closer. And Bucky hated it— but he felt the creeping, gnawing of jealousy  he hadn’t felt in years.

It was most obvious when the group was watching some dumb sci-fi rerun you and Bob insisted on, quoting every line like it was sacred scripture. You laughed until you snorted, nudging Bob’s arm, sharing a private joke. Bucky sat stiffly in the armchair nearby, not saying a word. He didn’t get the references, didn’t get the inside jokes— but more than that, he didn’t like how naturally Bob seemed to. He tried not to glare, but his eyes kept drifting to where your shoulders touched, and he hated that his stomach twisted every time you leaned in.

One evening,  Bucky finally brought it up.

“You spend a lot of time with Bob,” he said, almost unsure.

You looked up from the book in your hands—one of those new recovery guides Bob had given you earlier that day. You smiled, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “We’re just friends.”

“Just friends.” You could tell he didn’t quite believe it.

You reached out and took his hand gently. “Bob’s a good guy. He’s been there for me, just like you have.”

But Bucky was stuck. His mind was a tangle of 1940s beliefs, a world where men and women didn’t just be friends. There was always something underneath the surface— and he couldn’t unlearn that overnight. 

The week after, Bucky looked up from where he sat, elbows on knees. “You were gone a while,” he said, casual on the surface.

“Debrief with Bob,” you replied, not meeting his eyes. 

Bucky’s nod was wary. “Just the two of you?”

You gave a small laugh. “It wasn’t a date, Buck.” 

He knew that, but hated how much he still needed to hear it.

Every time you handed Bob another self-help book, Bucky’s chest clenched with an ache he despised himself for feeling. Because he liked Bob.

He really did. 

Bob liked him, too. Bucky was one of the only people Bob could talk to without a filter. After all, he trained him in hand-to-hand combat, and Bucky made him feel like he could survive without his powers, that he was worth more as himself than as the Sentry. But the fear was there nonetheless. What if you left him for Bob? What if Bob was everything Bucky couldn’t be?

Bucky’s jealousy wasn’t about mistrust or anger. It was fear. Perhaps, he was terrified of losing the person he spent so long finding.

Sometimes, late at night, you’d find him staring out the window, hands curled into fists, fidgeting with his fingers,

And even though you felt nothing for Bob but friendship, the knot of jealousy didn’t unravel.

—

A couple months later, you celebrated your important date.

The morning light slipped softly through the blinds of your shared room, casting stripes across the rumpled sheets. Bucky was already awake, bustling around the kitchen. You were asleep, the duvet wrapping around you like a cocoon, but the smell of coffee and sugar pulled you toward consciousness.

You blinked up at Bucky when he returned to the bedroom, a tray balanced in his hands. There was a steaming mug of coffee, a small vase with a single wildflower, and a plate piled high with pancakes and fresh berries. 

“Happy anniversary,” he said gently, his blue eyes gleaming.

You propped yourself up on one elbow, smiling so wide it hurt in the best way. “You’re spoiling me.”

“You deserve it,” he shrugged as he sat down on the edge of the mattress, but there was a shy grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Two years sober, one year dating me. That’s… something.”

You reached out, fingers curling around his wrist. “You’re something, Buck.” You kissed his cheek, and still, after a year, his ears turned pink.

The day unfolded like a dream. 

Later, Bucky took you out to dinner at that cozy Italian place you’d talked about forever but never tried. You laughed as Bucky tried to sneak a taste of your food when you weren’t looking. He even gave you a necklace with a compass pendant, a reminder that you’d always find each other.

Back at the Watchtower, Yelena caught you both in the hallway just before you slipped into your room. Her arms were crossed, a smirk playing on her lips as she whispered, “We know it’s your anniversary, but could you at least keep it down?”

“No promises,” You grinned wickedly at her, and Bucky just shrugged with a playful glint in his eyes.

When you finally closed the door behind you, the world melted away.

A massive chocolate cake sat on the table, decorated simply but beautifully with two sparklers flickering like tiny fireworks — one for two years sober, one for your anniversary. You both laughed as Bucky fumbled to light them, the flame dancing wildly before settling steady.

Bucky helped you blow them with a smile full of pride and love.

Your heart felt like it might burst.

​​You leaned into him, your nose brushing his, your breath warm against his lips.

“I still can’t believe you’re real,” he murmured.

You kissed him in answer, the kind of kiss that made time feel like it didn’t exist. 

Your hands threaded into his hair, tugging gently, and he groaned into your mouth— and you felt it everywhere. 

He lifted you without effort, his metal arm cradling you against him like you were weightless, and carried you toward the bedroom, never once breaking the kiss.

The rest of the night unfolded like a slow-burning fire—each button, each kiss, each whispered word stripping away the armour you wore for the rest of the world.

​​There were soft gasps and laughter and tangled limbs and the kind of intimacy that didn’t need to be explained. 

—

The digital clock on the nightstand blinked quietly in the dark—11:00 PM. The only sounds in the room were the distant hum of the city through the window and the even breaths coming from Bucky’s side of the bed.

You shifted under the blanket, careful not to disturb the man beside you. His presence was comforting, the warmth of his body acted like a shield from the chill. 

Still, you slipped out of bed. The sheets rustled faintly as your feet touched the floor. You moved quietly, avoiding the creaky board near the dresser. Your fingers ghosted over one of Bucky’s hoodies as you grabbed it.

Behind you, Bucky’s eyes opened.

He didn’t move. He stayed still, keeping his breathing even— watching you through half-lidded eyes. His mind, though, was alert. 

He’d felt you stir. And now he watched you tiptoe toward the door like you were sneaking off into the night.

He didn’t ask or call your name. He waited.

You eased the door open with practiced care and slipped out into the hallway.

A few seconds later, Bucky sat up quietly, no sudden movements. He grabbed a shirt  from the chair and padded barefoot to the door.

His hand hovered over the door for a second. He wasn’t angry. Just… concerned. You hadn’t told him anything was wrong. 

And so, like a shadow, he followed.

He followed you out to the Watchtower’s common room, padding silently down the hall. The lights were low, the city glowing faintly through the massive windows. There, by the kitchen counter, he saw you— and Bob.

The first thing Bucky felt was that same old rusted gear of jealousy clicking into place, until…

He saw that you had a small cupcake in your hands, chocolate with vanilla frosting, nearly identical to the one Bucky had given you last year. Two slim candles flickered on top.

Bob held one too—his was a yellow cake with blue frosting and the same number of candles.

“Happy two months of sobriety, Bob,” you said quietly, smiling at him.

Bob smiled back, eyes glassy. “And happy two years,” he replied, nodding toward you.

From the doorway, Bucky stood still, hidden in the shadow just enough to not disturb the moment. He watched as you and Bob leaned in together and blew out the candles in one quiet breath.

Two months?

Bob was two months sober?

Bucky hadn’t known.

Bob must’ve told you. And only you.

And you had respected that trust. You kept it quiet and protected it. Because you knew what it meant to want for it not to be a big deal— the way you don’t want it to be a big deal at first.

You both blew the candles and laughed. 

It finally clicked, that this was platonic. 

Slowly, jealousy gave way to a small smile. You didn’t need protecting from Bob. But maybe Bob needed protecting from the world. 

So this was just your way of continuing the kindness the way Sam had done for Bucky, and the way Bucky had done for you. 

This was the cycle repeating itself.

This was you, healing— and helping someone else do the same.

Bucky’s hand dropped from where it had been resting against the doorway.

Then, Bob saw him.

He glanced up from the extinguished candles, his eyes catching the figure in the doorway—and immediately stiffened.

“I, uh… I—” Bob stammered, his hands fumbling awkwardly with the cupcake. “I didn’t know you were— I mean, I wasn’t— I just—”

You turned, following his eyes, and saw your boyfriend standing there.

You didn’t flinch. You just smiled, as if you were expecting him. 

“Come in,” you said, patting a seat on the couch next to you. 

Bucky stepped forward, his eyes lingering on the cupcakes, then on Bob, and finally on you.

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to your temple, letting it linger for just a moment. Then he looked between the two of you.

“I’m proud of you,” he said, just above a whisper. He turned to Bob, sincerity in his blue eyes. “I’m proud of you both.”

Bob's breath hitched.

Proud? 

He was proud of him?

At first, he tried to blink them away, but the tears gathered faster than he could stop them. His hand went up, like maybe he could physically hold it all in. He dropped his gaze and let out a quiet, shaky laugh that sounded far too much like a sob. “Shit,” he muttered, rubbing at his eyes. “Sorry, I just… damn it.”

Bucky frowned. “I didn’t mean to intrude,” he said gently, tone almost apologetic. “It’s just… two months. That’s good. I guess you didn’t want me to know. I…” he hesitated, hands placed on your thighs. “I want you to know you’re doing good.”

Bob shook his head, shoulders trembling slightly. “No—no. It’s not that. It’s not bad,” he sniffled, finally looking up. “This… these are happy tears.”

You gently placed a hand on Bob’s arm.

He drew a shaky breath. “I— well, no one’s ever said they were proud of me before.” His voice got rougher, quieter. “I didn’t grow up with that kind of family.”

You and Bucky both went still.

“I used to think being proud of someone was fake,” he continued, “Like something people said in movies. But you two—”

He paused, struggling again, eyes glancing from you to Bucky. “You two are like… I dunno. You’re like the mom and dad of the group,” he said with a small, embarrassed laugh, knowing you were not too different in age from him. “And not in a weird way, I just mean— being around you? It feels safe. Like how it probably should’ve felt with my parents, y’know?”

Your eyebrows gentled immediately. Bucky’s chest tightened.

Bob kept going, voice quieter but more honest than ever. “Thank you for letting me be the kid, I guess.”

Bucky was silent for a long moment.

Inside, his mind reeled.

Fuck, he thought. I’m such an idiot.

He should’ve known, even before tonight, that this wasn’t romantic.

Bob didn’t want what Bucky had. He didn’t envy it or try to take it.

He respected it, and was drawn to it because no one had ever let him be a child— seeing you and Bucky together was probably his first example of a healthy relationship— so seeing you two exist and love each other, he must’ve felt like a kid watching the stars to believe there’s light beyond the dark.

Bob looked at Bucky then. “You’re a good man,” he said. “Both of you are… good people. Even if you don’t think you are.”

You could only nod.

Bucky blinked a few times before surprising himself as he reached out and pulled Bob into a hug.

It was awkward and a little stiff at first, but Bob didn’t pull away. His arms came up around Bucky’s back, and he held on like maybe—for the first time—he believed someone wouldn’t let go first.

-end.

General Bucky taglist:

@hotlinepanda @snflwr-vol6 @ruexj283 @2honeybees @read-just-cant

 @shanksstrawhat @mystictf @globetrotter28 @thebuckybarnesvault @average-vibe

@winchestert101 @mystictf @globetrotter28 @boy--wonder--187 @scariusaquarius

@reckless007 @hextech-bros @daydreamgoddess14 @96jnie @pono-pura-vida

@buckyslove1917 @notsostrangerthing @flow33didontsmoke @qvynrand @blackbirdwitch22

@torntaltos @seventeen-x @ren-ni @iilsenewman @slayerofthevampire

@hiphip-horray @jbbucketlist @melotyy @ethereal-witch24 @samfunko

@lilteef @hi172826 @pklol @average-vibe @shanksstrawhat

@shower-me-with-roses @athenabarnes @scarwidow @thriving-n-jiving @dilfsaresohot

@helloxgoodbi @undf-stuff @sapphirebarnes @hzdhrtss @softhornymess

@samfunko @wh1sp @anonymousreader4d7 @mathcat345 @escapefromrealitylol

@imjusthere1161 @sleepysongbirdsings @fuckybarnes @yn-stories-are-my-life @rIphunter

@cjand10 @nerdreader @am-3-thyst @wingstoyourdreams @lori19

@goldengubs @maryevm @helen-2003 @maryssong23 @fan4astic

@yesshewrites1 @thewiselionessss @sangsterizada @jaderabbitt @softpia 

@hopeofwinter @nevereclipse @tellybearryyyy @buckybarneswife125 @buckybarneswife125

@imaginecrushes @phoenixes-and-wizards @rowanthomasknapp @daystarpoet @thefandomplace

@biaswreckedbybuckybarnes @herejustforbuckybarnes @kitasownworld @shortandb1tchy @roxyym

@badl4nder

[polarkook]

bucky barnes recs

your ghost knows me | imagine, flangst | @marvelstoriesepic

in too deep pt 2 | two shot, trifecta | @marvelstoriesepic (tw)

like a phoenix | au, series | @marvelstoriesepic

paranoia | imagine, flangst | @marvelstoriesepic

the void | imagine, flangst | @buckybabble

home time | drabble, fluff | @mrs-elsie-barnes

a kind of brave | imagine, flangst | @daxisyzz

only safe with you | imagine, flangst, comfort | @daxisyzz

the soldier and his mission | imagine, flangst | @magical-reid

jackass | one shot, fluff (slight angst) | @aquaticmercy

weakness | one shot, flangst | @marvelstoriesepic

arm pat | one shot, fluff | @skaye44

bucky's innocent neighbor | imagine, smut | @buckyalpine

knock you down a peg or two | imagine, fluff | @navybrat817

starry eyed | one shot, fluff | @flowersforbucky

balm | imagine, flangst, comfort | @sunskisser

foundations | series | @vunblr

pretty please | imagine, fluff, comfort | @daxisyzz

bucky on his knees | drabble, smut | @http-shield

domestic warfare | one shot, flangst | @fawniswriting

anchor | imagine, flangst | @marvelwitchergilmore

autumn whispers | imagine, fluff | @rulerofstars

small gesture, big meaning | one shot, fluff | @marvelstoriesepic

meet me halfway | one shot, flangst | @aquaticmercy

super soldier domesticated | one shot, fluff | @writingcroissant

an (almost) unheard confession | imagine, fluff | @ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes

tangled | au, series | @vunblr

not exactly a secret | imagine, fluff, suggestive | @navybrat817

like he means it | au, one shot, flangst | @marvelstoriesepic

new uniform got you feeling all types of way | imagine, smut | @buckysouvenir

graveyard pt 2 | two shot, flangst | @wkemeup

crimson wave | imagine, fluff, comfort | @invisibleanonymousmonsters

this is (not) fine | one shot, trifecta | @artficlly

dead of the night | one shot, fluffy flangst | @bruisedboys

patron saints of nightmares | one shot, flangst | @aquaticmercy

you said what? | series | @ilovolderman

you are my sunshine | imagine, fluff | @alisonsfics

elevator, baby! | one shot, fluff, suggestive | @aquaticmercy

courting | one shot, fluff | @inkdrinkerworld

even the silence screams | imagine, flangst | @misskingshit

the same thing | imagine, flangst | @appocalipse

oh, my love, side to side | one shot, flangst | @daddyjackfrost

blush | imagine, fluff | @magicaloneandmystery

the bomb | imagine, fluff (slight angst) | @lonely-moons

who did this to you? | one shot, flangst | @buckysleftbicep (tw)

for the love of the game | au, series | @pellucid-constellations

never been kissed | imagine, flangst | @anonymityisfunwriter

third time's a charm | imagine, trifecta | @marvelwitchergilmore

a soldier's solace pt 2 | two shot, fluff | @daystarpoet

[polarkook]

scarlet johannson did not spend an entire decade fighting tooth and nail to make natasha into an actual character instead of the sex object writers wanted her to be while also having to endure the most vile, misogynistic questions during press tours for people to now disrespect her legacy because yelena is 'better'. the only reason why that is, is because of everything scarlet went through. natasha singlehandedly paved the way for every other female superhero in the mcu and don't you forget that

[polarkook]

for better or for worse masterlist 𐙚 b.b

you hated him for it. but not nearly as much as you hated yourself for wanting it again.

pairing: new avenger!bucky barnes x reader (fake marriage au)

warnings: nsfw, 18+, minors dni, unprotected sex, sexual tension, possessiveness, jealousy, angst, lots of team banter

summary: you and bucky are forced to play newlyweds at a luxury honeymoon resort. he’s controlling, you’re reckless, and now you’re sharing a bed. the problem? it’s getting harder to play pretend. and you’re not sure either of you will survive what comes next.

a/n: hi loves! so, this series has been collecting dust ever since i watched thunderbolts a few weeks ago, but i finally decided to dig it back up and actually finish it, hopefully! i hope you enjoy it!

series playlist

chapter 1 (posted on: 7th june)

chapter 2 (coming 9th june)

chapter 3 (coming 11th june)

chapter 4 (coming 13th june)

chapter 5 (coming 15th june)

chapter 6 (coming 17th june)

chapter 7 (epilogue) (coming 18th june)

[polarkook]

bucky needs a break ♡ b.b. x reader

pairing: thunderbolts!bucky barnes x thunderbolts!fem!reader THUNDERBOLTS SPOILERS

summary: being a part of the team has had a strange effect on your lives, for you it has allowed you more freedom while for bucky it had given him more work - and the man needs a break.

warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI smut, not an established relationship, use of pet names [doll, darling, babygirl, baby], kissing, touching, fingering, oral [f receiving], penetration [p in v], unprotected sex, cream pie, straight up porn, reader is described to have a vagina, aftercare, subspace if you squint

word count: 5.1k

authors note: i can't believe i just wrote 5k words of smut, strangely proud of myself, hope you enjoy! <3

Family life with the New Avengers wasn’t exactly what you had signed up for when Bucky had called you, asking for your help with investigating Valentina’s dark web goings-on. It was supposed to be a simple recon mission, finding Yelena, Walker and Ava and getting them to testify before the court. If only it had been so simple.

Nowadays, you found yourself amongst a team of misfits, the equivalent of a collage on a schoolgirl’s moodboard. Yelena and Bucky took most of the public facing work, being the two members with the least amount of public disturbances - which in itself is a baffling statement - while Ava and John tended to work background. Alexei, well, Alexei did what Alexei wanted and there wasn’t much any of you could do about that. 

Bob was still largely unaware of what had happened to form the team, appointing himself the New Avengers #1 Cheerleader and Dishwasher. It had taken a couple of months to get over everything the Void had unearthed, a couple of months to stop seeing his eyes glow every time you looked at Bob. 

Since then, daily life had consisted of more media and publicity than missions and saving people, which had taken a while to get used to. Bucky often found himself pacing the tower, already having experienced the world of politics through his time in congress and not wanting to get into it all over again. Yelena, on the other hand, finally felt like she was doing some good, helping people in the way that she had needed in the past.

For you, it was bittersweet. A part of you missed going on missions with the team, missed the moments in between the fighting where someone would tell a joke and nothing else would matter. In comparison, it was lovely not being woken up at 3am by some emergency that needed immediate attention. Some of the day-to-day normalities of modern life had seeped into your routine, making you feel more like a domestic goddess than a kick-ass assassin.

The abundance of free time had allowed you and the team to get to know each other better, beyond the basic questions of “who designed your suit?” and “how much ammo do you carry?”. Genuine friendships had formed as you learned of everyone’s pasts, likes and annoying habits. At least, these friendships had formed with most of the team.

Bucky hadn’t been too keen to join in with the morale building, usually holding back with tablet in hand, focused on the comms that never seemed to stop. 

Sitting in the main room of the tower, the team were dotted across the sofas. Bob sat in a beanbag in the corner, listening in to the ongoing conversation while keeping his eyes on the windows. 

You glanced around, eyes searching for Bucky, but coming up empty. It wasn’t uncommon for him to arrive later or leave earlier, he was never there for a whole conversation.

“But Yelena,” Alexei bellowed, standing with his arms open. “What is so wrong with wanting my name to live on in the world?”

“I don’t think starting a bear fighting show is really the way to go about it,” Yelena rolled her eyes, leaning back in her seat. 

Alexei spun, eyes brushing over the rest of the team, “Bears are strong! Bears are fighters! I know in my soul, I am a bear.”

You just blinked at Alexei, questioning so many of the things he said. 

“I think you’re onto something,” John stated, raising an eyebrow.

“Shut up, Walker,” Ava replied, a bored expression on her face.

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of the doors opening, revealing Bucky in his tactical gear. Your heart jumped at the sight and you shifted in your seat, turning towards him. 

“Ah, Bucky!” Alexei started towards him before Yelena stood, marching towards Bucky.

“Bucky, have you seen this?” she pulled her phone from her pocket, turning him away from the group.

Your heart sank, a part of you hoping that he would have come to join the group. Bucky’s eyes caught yours for a second and you recognised the feelings instantly, the man was exhausted. It all added up - longer hours, being one of the public facing members of the team, constantly on the go - Bucky needed a break.

You began to wrack your brain for ideas on how to help him, knowing all too well the feeling that he was experiencing. The group continued chatting, Alexei louder than the rest, and while you were sure they were distracting each other, you stood from your spot on the sofa and headed towards Bucky and Yelena.

“Hey,” you spoke softly as the two turned to look at you, expressions serious and eyebrows furrowed. “Sorry, I just need Bucky for a moment before I head out.”

Bucky looked at Yelena before looking back to you, Yelena giving a quick nod before going back to the group.

“What’s up?” Bucky asked, hands settling on his hips as he turned his attention to you. 

“Can you help me with something in the training room?” you asked, eliciting a curious expression on his face.

Sighing, he nodded and held out his arm for you to lead the way. Instead of heading to the training room, you took the turn that led you towards the dorms, causing a confused look on Bucky’s face.

“Okay, I lied,” you whispered, leaning in slightly. 

Bucky’s confused expression deepened as he waited for you to continue. You reached the corridor with the doors to everyone’s rooms and stopped in front of yours, Bucky’s just a few steps further down the corridor.

“You’ve been doing so much lately, it kinda seemed like you needed a moment,” you continued, hoping you were on the right track. “I don’t know if saving you from Yelena was the right call or not, but it gives you an out to go and hide in a dark room somewhere.”

After a moment, the corners of Bucky’s mouth twisted upwards. He raised an arm, placing his hand on the wall, leaning his weight against it. He let out a breathy chuckle, running his other hand over his face.

“Was it that obvious?” his voice seemed lighter than usual.

“A lil’ bit,” you chuckled, a grin on your face as you watched his shoulders starting to relax.

“Damn, didn’t realise you could read me so well,” his hand dropped and his eyes focused on your face, studying the expression there.

You felt your cheeks flush under his gaze, hands clasping together in front of you as you leaned back against your door, “I’m just glad I got it right.”

A smirk grew on Bucky’s face as he watched your cheeks tint with a blush, his eyes softening at the sight, “Well, I believe I owe you a ‘thank you’.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you replied with a sweet smile. “Just go take a break, Bucky. You deserve it.”

His heart leapt at your words, he was always a sucker for someone showing him any form of appreciation.

“I don’t really know how,” he admitted, a bashful smile on his face. “Never had too much of a break before.”

Your eyebrows raised as he spoke, “Surely you’ve got some guilty pleasure that you never have time for?”

“Nope, not that springs to mind,” he shook his head, hands returning to their rightful spot on his hips. A cheeky grin grew on his face as he chose his next words carefully, “Why, what’s yours?”

You attempted to stifle the blush that threatened to grow even further on your cheeks, “Um, I don’t know, reality TV? I never get time to catch up with the latest seasons.”

“You wouldn’t happen to have time now, would you?” he grinned, eyes meeting yours again. “I think it’s only fair that since you saved me from work today, I return the favour.”

Your lips parted with surprise, mouth forming an ‘O’ before you realised and clamped it closed again, forming a soft smile, “As it just so happens, I do. I have everything logged in on my TV, I even have a secret snack supply.”

Bucky’s eyebrows raised, “Secret?”

“I wasn’t about to risk all of my snacks being raided by Alexei,” you giggled, a smirk on your face. “Or Walker for that matter.”

Bucky nodded as he stood straight, “Seems like we have everything we need.”

You reached your arm out, still holding Bucky’s gaze as you opened the door behind you, “Come on in.”

Moments later, you found yourself sitting next to Bucky on your sofa, flicking through streaming services to pick the perfect show to watch. While reality TV was a secret love of yours, Bucky had yet to experience the highs and lows of middle aged women fighting each other on national television, so you were trying to pick the perfect show to put on. 

“Okay,” you placed the remote down as an older episode loaded. “There are going to be lots of women shouting at each other, prepare yourself.”

An amused expression grew on Bucky’s face, more at your excitement for the show than the premise, “I don’t know how to prepare for that.”

“You’ll be fine,” you chuckled, settling into the couch and placing a variety of snacks on the table in front of you. “Just get ready to enjoy it.”

The show began to play and your brain finally started to quieten, your body relaxing into the comfort of the sofa beneath you. Throwing a quick glance at Bucky, you noticed how he had stripped off the majority of his tactical gear, left in a tank top and his combat trousers, boots left by the door. Your attention was pulled back to the TV by a shout and a dramatic sound effect, but what followed was even better.

Bucky laughed. Well, it was most of a laugh. Perhaps a sharp exhale from his nose would be a more fitting description, but in your mind it was a full-on belly laugh. Your heart fluttered at the sound and it took all of your effort not to turn and grab his face between your hands, forcing him to do it over and over again. 

Forcing a breath in an attempt to calm your racing heart rate, you leaned further back into the seat, shifting slightly. Bucky reacted, adjusting his position as well, his thigh brushing against yours for a brief moment. You stilled, eyes fixed on the TV as you tried to ignore the rush that went through you at the contact.

Bucky noticed your reaction, of course he did. He also noticed the way that your heart rate had picked up and you had been nibbling on your lower lip for the past few moments. Cautiously, he shifted his seating, pressing his thigh against yours more firmly this time, paying attention to how your body reacted. 

You gulped, eyelids fluttering for a second as a fresh wave of weakness spread through your body, warm and gentle. The communication was completely silent, just a hint of reciprocation as your thigh pressed back against Bucky’s. 

A smirk grew on his face as he felt your body pressing back against his, his hand snaking across to rest just above your knee. His fingers began to draw slow, deliberate circles on the inner side of your thigh, his heightened senses well aware of how your breath hitched as he began. 

If anyone walked in at this point and asked what you were watching, they would have received a garbled mess of sounds in response. Everything in you was focused on Bucky’s hands and how they were resting against your bare skin. Your lower lip was tucked between your teeth, absentmindedly running your tongue back and forth behind your teeth as you attempted to hide any reaction.

Bucky leaned in closer, his shoulder bumping against yours as his hand slid further up your thigh, delicately brushing the skin with his own flesh hand. He let out a quiet groan as electricity buzzed where your bodies met, jaw clenching as he tried to keep his movements controlled and gentle. 

The sound broke any restraint you had left and you turned your head to face him, taking in the blissful expression on his face. The line of his jaw was hard as his teeth clenched together, eyes half closed as his hand caressed the bare skin of your inner thigh.

“Bucky,” you whispered, something between a moan and a whisper. 

His eyes flashed open, immediately finding your gaze with a flash of desire and uncertainty. He pulled his hand from your leg, clearly thinking your voice was some form of denial. Rather than responding with words, you reached out to grasp his hand tightly, bringing it back to your thigh, higher than it had been before. His eyes darkened with desire, jaw still tight as he held himself back from doing anything too intense too quickly.

“Doll,” his voice was gruff with want, husky and hoarse. “We don-”

“I want to,” you whispered, cutting him off before he could continue his sentence. 

He ran his tongue along his lower lip, hand squeezing the pudge of your upper thigh, thumb reaching the soft skin of your hip as he stroked it gently. A whimper escaped your lips, the sight of his tongue immediately sending warmth between your thighs. You pressed them together and Bucky growled at the feeling.

“If we’re going to do this,” he spoke, voice dark and dripping with desire. “We’re going to do it right.”

Excitement rushed through your veins like an icy wave, eyes fluttering closed for a second as your head fell back. Bucky watched this happen, seizing the opportunity and pouncing.

His lips attached to your neck, kissing and licking at the sensitive pulse point as his hand raised to your hip, clutching at you as if you could disappear at any moment. The rough texture of his beard prickled against the delicate skin of your neck, the feeling stimulating every nerve ending in your body as you let out a delicate mewl. 

You lifted a hand to tangle in his hair, leaning your head back to allow him access as he continued to ravish your neck with attention. 

“Buck,” you whimpered, tugging at the ends of his hair. “I can’t-”

“Can’t what?” Bucky teased, nipping at the spot under your ear that made your body melt into his touch.

“Can’t be a one-time thing,” you moaned, a part of you afraid that this would scare him off. The growl that escaped his lips sent arousal directly to the spot between your thighs.

“Who said it was a one-time thing?” he replied, hand lifting to pull the straps of your tank top and bra off your shoulder as his lips trailed down your collarbone. “I certainly didn’t say that.”

You let out a sigh, pulling at his hair to bring his face to yours, “I’m serious, Bucky.”

“So am I,” his eyes searched yours, desperate to show you that he was telling the truth. 

You held his gaze for a moment, eyes darting between his eyes and lips before letting out a breathy chuckle, “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“I hope you’re gonna hold me to many things,” he teased, nose brushing against yours. 

You rolled your eyes playfully before pressing your lips to his, a moan escaping your throat as you felt his grip on your hip tighten. Lifting your leg, you wrapped it around his waist and pulled him down towards you. His hips slotted between yours as he balanced above you, your back pressed to the seats of the couch. You kept a leg tight around him, holding him in place as your hands dipped under the hem of his shirt.

He whimpered at the feeling of your hands dancing across his skin, your fingertips sending tingles on his skin. His teeth nibbled at your lower lip, tongue swiping against it as a plea for access. You relented, tongues dancing as the kiss deepened. You could feel your arousal pooling between your thighs, hips pressed firmly against Bucky’s as he leaned his weight on top of you.

Bucky’s metal arm rested above your head while his flesh hand pulled the other strap of your shirt down, exposing your shoulders and collarbones to him. Reluctantly, he pulled his lips from yours, trailing them down your neck and along your collarbone. The way he kissed you was wanting but careful, as though he didn’t want to risk shattering you under his grasp. He placed a kiss to the top of your sternum, eyes glancing up to meet yours.

The look on your face was pure bliss and Bucky was completely addicted to the sight. The thought flashed through his mind that the main goal of the rest of his life was to see it as many times as he could before he died. His hands slipped under the hem of your shirt, pulling it up gently before he moved his face away, placing an arm behind your back to lift you in order to remove the shirt completely. 

“Yours too, Buck,” you breathed, face flushed as you attempted to recapture your breathing. 

He flashed a grin at you before pulling his tank top over his head, revealing his muscular chest to you. Your hands immediately lifted, fingertips tracing the scars and marks that dotted his skin, the touches gentle and caring. His smile turned soft at your actions, the realisation that this was something real for you, for both of you. His eyes closed as he enjoyed existing in your touch, letting you explore the parts of his body that had been hidden for so long. 

Your hands drifted down, fingers hooking in the belt loops of his tactical pants before pulling his body back towards yours, lips crashing into his as your bodies collided. Your hips rolled upwards in search of friction, in search of him. He growled against your lips, hips pressing down into yours as his hand slipped beneath your back, arching your back to press your abdomen against his.

“Look at you baby,” he moaned against your lips. “Already so needy.”

“Someone got me all worked up,” you mumbled, hips rolling against his again as you bit your lower lip. 

Bucky chuckled in response, the sound airy and breathless as he nuzzled his nose into your cheek, “Hmm, maybe we should do something about that.”

“Please,” you were well aware of how desperate you sounded, the word like a prayer on your lips. 

Bucky smiled against your cheek as his hand slid beneath the waistband of your shorts, fingers brushing the dainty material of your panties. His movements were delicate, calculated, careful. The dance of his fingertips along your abdomen, inching closer to where you wanted him most, sent shivers through your body as you writhed beneath him. 

The moment his fingers spread your folds you gasped, suddenly aware of just how much you wanted this, just how wet you had become. Bucky bit his lip as his finger slid over your clit and towards your hole, the sensation of your slick sending blood straight to his cock. 

“Shit, doll,” he whimpered, which sent another wave of arousal through your body. “Didn’t realise you needed me this bad.”

Any response died on your tongue as his fingers began to draw sloppy circles over your clit, hips jittering upwards as you searched for more friction. Bucky couldn’t help himself, his clothed crotch rubbing against your inner thigh as you moaned beneath him, lips parted perfectly. 

“Need you,” you breathed, forcing your eyes open to watch as Bucky’s blissed out eyes found yours. 

“Use your words, baby,” he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek, a wild juxtaposition to the insatiable movements his fingers were currently working on your clit.

“Need your fingers,” you groaned, lips pressed against his jawline. “Please.”

“Good girl,” Bucky praised, leaving a trail of kisses along your cheekbone before yanking your shorts down your legs.

You gasped at the sudden cold air on your folds, instinctively squeezing your thighs together. Bucky placed a hand on each knee, forcing your legs apart with a gentle tut.

“Princess, if you do that again we’re going to have an issue,” his eyes were serious before turning soft as you let your legs drop wider. “That’s better.”

You flushed at the praise, hips grinding against nothing as you gazed up at Bucky’s face. Shuffling down your body, Bucky lay flat until his eyeline was directly facing your panties. He took in a deep breath, pressing his nose to the dainty fabric before licking a stripe directly over your desperate hole. Your back arched at the feeling, causing Bucky to reach up with his metal arm, pressing your back down against the bed. 

Nuzzling his nose against you, he nudged your panties out of the way before pouncing, pressing a chaste kiss to your clit. A moan echoed in your chest, guttural and raw, as Bucky began to lick at your delicate folds, slurping like a man starved. The sounds coming from the pair of you were borderline pornographic, all moans and gasps and squelches. 

“Fuck, can’t believe you’ve been keeping this from me,” Bucky muttered into your clit, unable to tear his lips from your taste.

Bucky teased your hole with two fingers, sliding them in as your walls fluttered around him. 

“Shit Bucky,” you exhaled, hips grinding against his face. 

“Tell me doll,” he groaned against you, his hips thrusting wildly at the sound of your voice. “Tell me how good I’m makin’ you feel.”

“So good, Bucky,” you rasped, eyebrows furrowed as your eyes squeezed shut. “Feels so fuckin’ good.”

Bucky hummed in response, tongue lapping at your clit as his fingers curled inside of you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, jaw going slack as you felt the familiar burning in the pit of your stomach. Unconsciously, you clenched around Bucky as he nibbled at your clit, following it up with a sloppy kiss. 

“Can feel you’re close, princess,” Bucky teased, unrelenting with that tongue of his. “Show me, wanna see you fall apart on my mouth.”

The words were enough to send you over the edge, hips shaking as your thighs tightened around his head. Your walls fluttered around Bucky’s fingers as your orgasm washed over you. Your breath hitched in your chest as your entire body tensed, brain unable to comprehend the pleasure that overtook your senses. 

Bucky began to press kisses to your thighs and hips as he let you ride out your orgasm on his fingers. Once your body began to still he lifted his fingers to his mouth, tongue poking out to lick your slick off of his digits with a groan. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned down, his dog tags resting on your bare chest.

Your hands lifted to feel his chest, his heart racing beneath his warm skin, prickled with sweat. A finger wrapped around the chain of his tags, pulling him down to meet your lips as you pressed your faces together. Your other hand slid down his chest, teasing at the waistband of his tactical pants. It didn’t take long for Bucky to have them off, throwing them across the room before immediately returning to your lips.

You pressed your palm to his erection over his boxers, whimpering into the kiss as you felt the size of him. Pulling away from his lips, you glanced down to see him held in your hand, the girth sending a shockwave through your body. A wet patch had begun to form on his boxers as precum leaked from his tip, no doubt related to the way his hips had been rutting against the arm of the couch as he ate you out. 

He hissed at your touch, evidently sensitive from the night's events. He nuzzled into the crook of your neck as you began to stroke him gently, pressing kisses to his hair. He thrust his hips into your touch, needing you just as bad as you had been needing him.

“Doll, as much as I love you touching me,” he moaned, pressing a kiss to the corner of your jaw. “I fuckin’ need to be inside you.”

You didn’t take any further convincing, pushing down his boxers to free his rock hard cock. He leaned back for a moment, studying the view before him as he stroked himself a couple of times. He lined himself up with you, one hand gripping your hip tight as the other came up to stroke your cheek as he eased himself into you.

Your eyes immediately fluttered closed, jaw dropping at the sheer size of him. Garbled sounds fell from your lips, it sounded like you were casting a spell in some long-forgotten language. Bucky stifled a deep growl as he felt your walls tightening around him.

“So fuckin’ tight,” he mewled, pressing a desperate kiss to your lips. 

Any type of control Bucky had had before, the precision he had displayed while working on your pleasure, disappeared the second he felt your pussy clenching around his cock. He continued to enter you until he was fully sheathed, jaw clenched as he held himself back from immediately slamming his hips into yours. 

He watched your face carefully for any hint of pain as he began to withdraw, gently sliding into your tight hole again. Your face contorted with pleasure, unable to force any words from your mouth as you succumbed to the pleasure radiating through your body. Bucky took that as a sign to continue, hips rolling back and forward as his cock pounded deeper and deeper into you. 

Your fingers grasped at Bucky’s shoulders, searching for stability as your bodies moved together. Words defeated you, only lewd sounds falling from your lips as your forms united. The sound of wet slaps echoed around the room, punctuated by the deep groans elicited from Bucky’s chest as he felt the warmth of your body around him.

““Fuck,” Bucky hissed through his teeth, punctuated by the harsh slamming of his hips into yours. 

Your entire body vibrated with desire as you heard just how bad Bucky needed you, just how bad he needed to fuck you. You reached up to place a hand on his chest, the other on his shoulder as you pushed against him, flipping him onto his back. You saw a flash of surprise on his face as you threw a leg over him, the look immediately replaced with one of desire and want. 

Leaning down to kiss him, you pressed your lips against his before trailing kisses down his throat, tongue poking out to lick over his Adam’s apple. He growled at the feeling, hands clutching and squeezing at your hips. You felt his hips buck upwards against you, the head of his cock brushing against your clit as you let out a needy whine.

The sound broke something in Bucky and he grabbed your hips, pulling you down on his cock. He slid inside of you easily, even deeper than before as your eyes rolled back in ecstasy. You leaned back as you rolled your hips against his, grinding your pussy against him and hands resting on his muscular thighs.

Bucky thrust his body upwards, his balls slapping against you as the head of his cock hit the perfect spot inside of you, turning your body to jelly.

“Fuck-,” you moaned, the tip of your tongue poking out over your bottom lip as you focused all of your energy on staying upright. 

Bucky sensed your weakness, bending his knees to plant his feet in the bed as he fucked up into you relentlessly. 

“Shit, can feel you getting close babygirl,” he grunted, movements becoming sloppy as he felt his own high building in his abdomen. 

You whined in response, hand drifting down to stroke desperate circles around your clit, “So close, so fucking close.”

“Where’d you want me to finish, doll?” Bucky said, movements beginning to stutter.

“Inside, please,” you moaned, eyes opening to look down at him. “Wanna feel you.”

The words sent Bucky over the edge as he leaned up, wrapping his arms tightly around your abdomen as he slammed his hips into yours over and over. Your orgasm washed over you, body tensing as you crumbled into his embrace. Bucky’s arms were the only thing keeping you from falling on your face as he bit down on your collarbone, stifling a scream as he shot hot ropes of cum deep inside of you.

His hips didn’t stop, fucking his seed deeper and deeper inside of you as you garbled nonsense into his scalp. After a few moments, his movements became languid before stopping entirely, his arms still embracing you tightly as your chests heaved with breaths. His lips placed gentle, sloppy kisses along your shoulder as Bucky turned your bodies to lay you on the bed. You whined as his softening cock slipped out of you.

“I know baby, I know,” he whispered, continuing to place kisses along your jaw as he laid you down. 

Your eyes were still closed, lungs struggling to recover after the rigorous events that had just occurred. Letting out a gentle moan, you reached your arms out for him.

“One second doll, gotta get you cleaned up,” he spoke gently as he stood, moving to the bathroom to grab a washcloth and returning to the bed. 

Carefully, tenderly, he wiped at your sensitive folds, eradicating any proof of your joint activities. He threw the washcloth to the end of the bed, then brought the blanket up to cover your bodies as he wrapped an arm over your midsection.

“You back with me?” he asked, stroking gentle circles against your delicate skin.

“Yeah,” you hummed in response. “Holy shit.”

Bucky chuckled, the sound chesty and real.

“I think you should take a break more often,” you pressed your lips to his chest as you snuggled in closer. His arm wrapped tighter around you as you did, kissing your hair and inhaling your scent. 

“If it involved this every time,” he grinned. “I don’t think I’d ever do any damn work.”

“I’ll make you a deal,” you pulled away to look up at him. “Anytime you need a break, you come find me. I’ll be your perfect excuse.”

Bucky smiled down at you, realising just how much you truly cared for him. He hadn’t thought anyone had noticed how tired he was or how desperate he was for a break, but you had. 

“You got yourself a deal, sweetheart, but for now, I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

a/n: i'm a slut for bucky in thunderbolts

ever wish your favourite character could send you a personalised letter? now they can via my Etsy store <3

masterlist for more of my work <3

[polarkook]

santa doesn’t know you like i do

⋆⁺₊❅. pairing: choi sumin x f!reader

⋆⁺₊❅. word count: 5.32k

⋆⁺₊❅. content: MATURE CONTENT AHEAD!!!, fluff, little bit of humor at the end, swearing, mutual pining, best friends/roommates to lovers, they’re so down bad for each other it’s crazy, xikers cameo, minjae has an unnamed gf, now into the juicy stuff- kissing… lots and lots of kissing, marking i think?, food play (its just some whipped cream yall), vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex gulp pls stay safe and do what ur comfy with bffs, they just want to be close and cheesy and cute okay </3

synopsis: the three times you want to confess your feelings for your best friend, and the one time he beats you to it.

୨ৎ i actually wrote this fic last december and it was originally for sunwoo from the boyz, but i never posted it and i decided to rewrite it for sumin cause i love a good christmas/season themed fic ♡ if u enjoyed this pls don’t forget to like n reblog that helps me so much :3

The first time you think of confessing your feelings to Choi Sumin, is also the first time you realize you have them in the first place. 

November had finally camouflaged into December, snow beginning to stick to the ground outside. It’s your favorite time of the year and Sumin knows this. Why wouldn’t he? As your best friend it only made sense that he knew you like the back of his hand. He knew how you liked your coffee in the morning and that you preferred sleeping on the right side of the bed, among other things.

This is why he suggests decorating your apartment together. 

You have ‘How The Grinch Stole Christmas’ playing in the background as you stand on a step stool, hanging garland on the perimeter of your living room ceiling. Sumin has his hands on your waist, assuring that he doesn’t let you fall. As funny as it would be, he’s also a big softie and couldn’t imagine letting you get hurt. 

“How does it look?” You ask, tilting your head back to see if you can get a better view. 

“Good. Professional almost— woah, be careful.  Don’t lean too much.” He tightens his grip on you. 

“You’re such a dad.” You roll your eyes playfully. Sumin scoffs, but doesn’t retort back. You adjust your stance on the step ladder, going onto your tippy toes to reach one of the lights on the corner strand. 

He tries to ignore how your hips shift beneath his fingertips, how easy it would be to slip them under your sweatshirt. His eyes squeeze shut as he attempts to will away the forbidden thoughts threatening to plague his mind. He’s so preoccupied with wiping his brain, that he doesn’t even realize you’re wobbling a little. 

Everything happens so quickly; the step stool giving out from your feet, your body falling backward, his arms flying out to catch you with his life. Sumin had never been so good with hand-eye coordination, and he thinks he deserves an award with how valiant his rescue was. 

He holds you firmly, examining your face for any indication you might’ve been injured. Instead he’s met with wide eyes and parted lips, his cheeks blushing at the proximity between the two of you. This is the moment that it hits you— the moment that your heart registers that it beats for Choi Sumin. Your gaze traces the outline of his plush lips, so tempted to lean in and press your own to them. 

You open your mouth to say something, when suddenly he’s standing you upright and stepping away from you. He wipes his clammy palms on your shoulders, steadying both you and himself. He thinks this is the universe’s way of punishing him for his earlier thoughts. He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, laughing in the same manner. 

“Are you— um— are you okay?” Sumin fumbles over his words, eyes looking everywhere but at you. 

“‘M fine. Thanks for catching me.” You try your best to hide the disappointment in your tone. It’s not like he knew how you felt, so you couldn’t really blame him. Neither of you were at fault here. 

That didn’t mean you didn’t feel slightly discouraged though. If Sumin freaked out just by being so close to you, you couldn’t fathom how he’d react to hearing a confession. You clear your throat to, hopefully, cut through some of the tension in the air. 

“Should— should I order dinner?” Your fingers come up to tuck some hair behind your ear, anything to distract from the horrible atmosphere. You don’t like this one bit. 

“Uh… yeah! Yeah, that would be great. I’m okay with whatever you want.” He turns around and busies himself with the tree. You agreed on doing ornaments last, so he starts to slowly open up the branches. He hopes you can’t see the crimson shade spreading across the tips of his ears. 

“O-Okay… I’ll go do that then…” Your voice sounds far away from you. You avoid thinking about the pain blooming in the center of your chest, deep and sharp. You shouldn’t be upset. 

The second time you think of confessing your feelings to Sumin is halfway to Christmas. 

Your friend Minjae and his girlfriend invited the two of you to go look at the lights downtown. Out of your friend group, Minjae was the only one with a significant other. Because you and Sumin were so close, along with the fact that you were the only other girl, you were the best pairing option to join them. 

Going downtown to see the Christmas lights was something you looked forward to every year since you were little. It was a tradition you had with your family up until you got older. Then Sumin and yourself adopted it as your own. Thankfully there would be others around this time. You aren’t sure you could handle being alone with him without your heart giving out. Forget Valentine’s Day, Christmastime was truly the season of love. 

“I always love strolling around Han River and looking at the lights on the trees,” Minjae’s girlfriend says, nose resembling Rudolph’s due to the cold air. “I’m so glad that you like it too, Y/N!”

You smile at her and the way Minjae wraps her scarf just a bit more snugly as she talks. Their relationship was one you, dare you say, idolized. It’s not that they were the perfect couple, it’s that they loved each other so unconditionally. Minjae didn’t mind the teasing he got from the other boys for being ‘whipped’. They had a special connection that shined through even when they were just friends. It’s something you wished to experience yourself. 

The two walk a few feet ahead of you and Sumin, arms linked together. Part of you wanted to do the same with your best friend, to lean onto his shoulder and huddle closely for some semblance of warmth. Your hands sway side by side, just inches apart. If you extended your pinkie just slightly, it would touch his. Oh, how nice it would be to do such an intimate gesture.

You risk a sideways glance at Sumin, your heart skipping when you see how pretty he looks under the tree lights. The off-white bulbs reflect off of his cheeks and make his eyes sparkle, sending your emotions into a frenzy. 

The longer you walk next to him and the longer you gaze at him like a lovesick puppy, the more you realize how far into this infatuation you’ve gotten. What started as something small, triggered by something so menial, has grown exponentially. You’re honestly not sure that there was a chance of returning from this. 

When you put your friendship into perspective, you noticed a lot of red flags. For one, you did quite a few things that didn’t exactly scream platonic. Friends don’t cuddle during movie nights with all your other friends. Friends don’t think about each other in the forbidden ways you do at 2 AM. Friends don’t freak out over the potential end of said friendship.

It’s so painful. Standing here in the middle of December at Han River. You’ve long forgotten about your purpose for being here. Long forgotten about the pretty lights you’d been gushing about since you were a kid. All that matters to you is the boy in front of you. 

It hurts because of the uncertainty of what could come out of a confession. What if he hated you and wanted nothing to do with you? It was scary when you thought too hard about it. You’ve known Sumin through so many goods and bads, and shared many laughs. You know all of his favorite songs, and you’ve never missed a phone call. You want nothing more than to be the reason he smiles.

Santa, if you’re listening… Please make this Christmas one I won’t forget…

The next time you think of admitting your feelings for your best friend/roommate, is during your Friendsmas gathering on Christmas Eve. 

Usually, the event was held at Minjae’s house, since it was bigger. Him and his girlfriend loved hosting the circus that was your friend group. However, this year, you and Sumin volunteered your apartment for the festivities. It was your first year living together and you wanted it to be memorable. 

“The decorations are so cute!” Minjae’s girlfriend gushes, eyes wandering around the living room in awe at what you and Sumin managed to achieve. “The garland around the ceiling perimeter is such a nice touch. Did it take long?”

You think back to a couple weeks ago, when you were decorating. Things would’ve gone on without a hitch had you not fallen off the step ladder. You also wouldn’t be dealing with inner turmoil every time you looked at your roommate/best friend. You glance over at him, chatting it up with Minjae and Junmin, and your heart aches a little. “Not long at all…”

She purses her lips, taking your hand and dragging you off to the balcony. You give her a confused look, raising an eyebrow in question. She sighs, resting her arms on the railing and looking out into the parking lot. “You have feelings for him. Don’t you?”

You blink. 

It couldn’t have been that obvious right? I mean, you only just recently realized you were in love with liked him in that way. How could anyone already notice the signs or the lovelorn gloss in your stare? Your silence and lack of immediate reaction, however, gives away the truth, so you know that you can’t refute. 

“How did you know?” You ask, picking at a thread on your red sweater dress. Minjae’s girlfriend coos, like an older, wiser, sisterly figure who’s been waiting for the opportunity to bring out her life advice. 

“I’ve had a hunch for a while now,” she smiles softly. “But I think my suspicion stems from personal experience, mostly. Because I know when Minjae and I were ‘just friends’, we acted very similarly. And you were a bit quiet when we went to see the lights. I figured it had to be that, or you’d gotten into a fight, which seemed unlikely.”

“I don’t even know if he feels the same,” you nip at the inside of your lip. “There was an incident when we were decorating the apartment and we haven’t spoken about it since it happened. I think he’s pretending that it didn’t.”

“What happened?” She presses, now squared off to you. 

“I almost fell off the step stool and he caught me and it was really romantic and that’s when I realized that maybe I’ve been harboring feelings for him all this time but before I could even think about my next action, he pulled away.” You talk quickly, like you were on a time crunch. Minjae’s girlfriend follows along with your story as best she can, nodding every couple of words so you knew she understood what you were saying, despite the whole thing being one big run on sentence. 

“Oh wow,” she cringes. “In my humble opinion, I think he’s just… emotionally constipated. He’s… Sumin… you know? He’s not used to these kinds of things. Sometimes when we’re scared of something new, we seek comfortability. Maybe he’s afraid of the change.”

She had a very valid, very strong point. Choi Sumin had never boded well with change. For example; when he was a junior in high school, his Physics teacher had left halfway through the school year for family reasons and he failed the class even though he had an A before that. Luckily, you failed your Pre Calculus class, so both of you got to take summer school together. There was a real chance that Minjae’s girlfriend was on the right track. 

“I think you’re right,” you sigh, leaning back against the railing and watching the ten chaotic boys inside of your apartment. “I should wait for him to come to me.”

“You should, but,” she grins, like she knew something you didn’t. “That doesn’t mean I don’t plan on meddling just a little.”

Though ominous in her tone, you knew she meant no harm. So you’d let her do her thing, even if you were slightly unnerved. The two of you head back in to join everyone in the living room. You shoot Sumin a small smile from the opposite sofa, sandwiched between Yechan and Yujun. He mirrors your expression from his spot on the floor in front of Jinsik. 

The rest of the night goes smoothly. You play some games like Uno and a heated few rounds of Charades, the competition amongst your friends going crazy. All of you agreed on doing a Secret Santa exchange, since buying each member of your group a gift was pricey. (After all, you were twelve people deep.) Whether it was luck, or the universe loved to laugh at your expense, you drew Sumin’s name. There was a thirty dollar price limit on gifts, but you knew he’d wanted this oil paint set for a while. (The price could remain a secret to everyone else.) 

It was hilarious, really, that Sumin drew your name. 

The exchanging portion of the night was also uneventful. No one was that shocked to find out you and your best friend had gotten each other except for, well, you and your best friend. You didn’t open your gifts until your friends had all left, feeling like your personal biases were too strong to deny. 

You also decided to open them separately from the other. So when you unwrapped yours to find the prettiest necklace you’d ever seen with your initial as a charm, you almost cried like a baby. It was definitely out of the thirty dollar price limit, but you couldn’t dare complain. 

This was when you thought maybe it was the right time to confess and get everything off of your chest. 

But then Minjae’s girlfriend’s advice rings in your ears and you hold back. You had to wait for him to come to you. 

The fourth, and final, time you and Sumin want to confess to each other, is on Christmas morning. 

You woke up earlier than he did and thought it might be nice to surprise him with breakfast. You’d exchanged gifts the night before, so today would be a relaxed day. At least, you hoped it would, what with all the insane tension and stepping on eggshells around each other. 

Despite not being that great at cooking, you still knew how to whip up some basic things. Most, if not all, of them were Sumin’s favorites. You’d decided to make him some French toast with fresh fruit. Thankfully, you had everything you needed, so it would be easy to just start now. 

The smell that filled the air following each sizzle on the griddle had your mouth watering. If he wasn’t convinced that you were wife material after this, he was a lost cause. Hell, if he didn’t think you were girlfriend material after this, you just might rip your hair out. 

Over this past month, you’d given yourself plenty of time to reminisce over your feelings for your best friend. Upon the realization that you had them, you wondered what made him so special, what set him apart from the rest. The answer was simple; he was Sumin. 

Sure, he was goofy and he never really did things the conventional way. He was too stubborn for his own good and he wouldn’t be caught dead showing affection to anyone but his mother. But despite that, he always wore his heart on his sleeve and allowed himself to be trampled over when he didn’t deserve it. He was a little messy and left cookie trays on the stove after he used the oven. He somehow managed to leave a single water cup in the sink every time. He fell asleep on the couch often and sometimes forgot to lock the front door. 

Above all of that, he was the best thing that had ever happened to you. He knew exactly when you needed a good laugh, the kind that had you hunching over and clutching your stomach. He showed you that he appreciated you in the ways that he could, without overstepping any boundaries. He did your laundry for you on occasion, even when you didn’t ask him to. He always seemed to know when you were running low on facial cleanser or moisturizer, setting a new one in the midst of your things. If you were out for the night, he waited in the living room until he was sure you were home safe. 

He wasn’t like every other guy out in the universe, but that’s what made him so special, what set him apart from the rest. That was why you fell so hard and so fast. Choi Sumin would forever be the person your heart continued to beat for, even if he didn’t feel the same. 

You didn’t even realize you’d finished making around half a loaf of bread, far too absorbed in your thoughts. You plate them on your nicer, china plates and dust some powdered sugar on top. After slicing a few strawberries, you set everything on the breakfast bar. 

It actually looks like a scene straight from a movie. Had you and Sumin been a real couple, and not just a couple of besties, this would be the perfect Christmas. But a girl could only dream, you suppose. 

Lost inside of your mind again while stirring some cream into your coffee, you don’t hear the creak of Sumin’s bedroom door. He stumbles into the kitchen with a yawn, cheeks puffy. His eyes are bleary, taking a moment to focus on the sight of you blowing away the steam coming up from your mug. He spots the French toast not much later, his heart swelling. 

“Morning,” he rasps, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. 

You jump, startled by the sudden voice. “Good morning. I— uh— I made breakfast.”

“I see that,” he smiles, sitting on the stool beside you. “Smells yummy.”

You eat in silence as he pours himself some orange juice. It’s weird. Silence. It’s not a common occurrence between the two of you, given the fact that you’d been as close as you have for almost a decade now. You were both the type to talk for ages without getting bored of the other. 

“So—”

“How—”

You both start speaking at the same time, laughing together at the silly coincidence. Sumin looks adorable with his mouth full of French toast. You look like something straight out of a Christmas catalog. He swallows his food, holding his fist to his mouth. 

“You go first.” He nods. 

“I was just gonna ask if you liked your gifts from your parents,” you say, shifting your attention to the suddenly very interesting three-quarters-empty mug of coffee. “Your mom called me for my opinion when she was buying the headphones.”

Sumin thinks he might burst into tears over his barely finished plate of breakfast. His mother was the only woman in his life that had yet to fail him. She’s the only one he’d ever allowed into his heart for so long. And then you came along and changed all of that. You became someone he could lean on, someone he could depend on when he thought life was caving in on him. It made him so happy knowing that you had a good relationship with his mom. His two favorite ladies. 

He doesn’t answer you, instead grabbing your face and pulling you to him. He connects your lips in a sweet kiss, one that communicates everything he’s been trying to say for days, weeks, months, years. It’s unplanned, it’s a little messy, and it’s kind of desperate, but it’s perfect. 

You part for air, resting your forehead on his as he chases your kiss. A giggle bubbles past your throat. “A bit eager now, are we?”

“I have wanted to do that for so long,” he sighs, eyes closed, nose brushing yours. “You have no idea.”

“What about—” You stamp another kiss on the corner of his mouth, then another on the center, and you punctuate each word with more. “—Less talking? More kissing?” 

“I really like the sound of that,” he whispers, reciprocating. His kisses trail from your mouth to your ear, lighting fire beneath your skin. Everywhere his lips touch, you ache for more. 

When you and Sumin became friends, this was never on your list of things that could possibly happen in the future. You never thought you’d be making out with him in your shared kitchen on Christmas morning. Or at all, for that matter. This was entirely out of your realm of possibilities. 

It’s just too easy to fall into his kiss and the way his lips taste so sweet on yours. There’s a hint of syrup and powdered sugar that makes it so much more addicting. You think you could make French toast for breakfast every day if it meant he tasted this enticing.

Sumin steps off the stool and slots himself between your legs, not breaking away from you for a second. His hands rub up and down the sides of your thighs, fingers slipping under your shirt just like he wanted that day you were decorating. Had he gotten his shot together at the beginning of the month, he could’ve been doing this so long ago. 

“I want more, Sumin,” you murmured against his lips. Now that he made the first move, you’re definitely willing to take what you’ve been wanting and waiting for. He parts from you slightly, noses brushing. 

“Are you sure?” Deep down, he’s still scared that changing everything about your dynamic means there’s a chance he could lose you. 

Your hand comes up to cup his cheek, thumb caressing his skin gently. You stare at him with the utmost adoration, as if he personally placed each star in the sky. Sumin thinks he could die the happiest man ever right now, slipping under the spell that is your sparkly eyes. 

“I’ve never been more sure about something in my life.” Your voice is just above a whisper, but it’s enough to assure him. He smiles at you softly, pressing his lips to yours once again. 

Sumin grabs at the hem of your shirt, pulling it off of you carefully. He kisses all over your neck and chest, nipping and sucking wherever he pleases. Your whines fuel his desperation, encouraging his confidence. He helps you onto the counter, trailing his lips down your body to the waistband of your pajama pants. 

His eyes gaze up at yours, mouth glued to your lower stomach as his fingers make quick work of the bow. He drags them down your legs, faster than your top, until you’re left in nothing except your undergarments. He reaches behind you for something and your eyebrows knit together. 

When he produces the can of whipped cream from your breakfast, you feel the fire beneath your skin burning heavier. He pushes down on the nozzle, a line of whipped cream connecting the band of your bra to your panties. Sumin makes eye contact with you once more to ensure that this is still okay. With your lip between your teeth and your elbows propping you up, he has his answer. 

At what feels like the most agonizingly slowest pace, Sumin licks the whipped cream from your skin. He kisses and suckles at the surface as he does so, making sure to not leave a bit of the confectionery behind. 

A gasp escapes you when his fingers hook into the waistband of your panties, mouth still exploring the plane of your lower stomach. He peels them away from your body, not wasting a second the moment your cunt is bared to him. His lips envelope your clit, thumb circling your entrance. Your head tilts back, your sighs of pleasure transforming into moans. 

The way he’s teasing you inches you closer and closer to your release, but not enough to push you over entirely. The tip of his finger slides in, but then slides right back out, not giving you much of anything to work with. You whine when his tongue laps at your clit. It feels so good, but it’s not what you need. You’re itching for more. 

Sumin can tell you’re getting antsy because you keep wriggling around in his hold. He halts his motions. “More?”

You nod frantically. “Please?”

Two of Sumin’s fingers slip inside of you with ease, grazing that sweet spot at the crook of your pussy. A moan forces itself from your chest, nails digging into your palms to keep yourself grounded. He grins to himself before attaching to your clit again. The bundle of nerves is extremely sensitive now, speeding up the process. 

“You’re so cute,” he mumbles into your lower lips, still consuming you as if you were his last meal. 

All you can do is let out a strangled groan, eyes squeezed shut. His mouth is on your neck once more, and his fingers are swiping side to side on your clit, bursting through the dam containing your bliss. It feels like your whole body has deflated, losing all your strength from supporting your own weight. 

You’re spent, but you need him unlike you’ve ever needed something in your life. Hopefully he’s good at reading you, because all that you can manage to do is communicate that through your pleading eyes. Sumin purses his lips, placing a small kiss at the tip of your nose. Your head chases after him, a pout finding its way onto your face when it doesn’t receive what it wants. 

“Baby, are you sure you can give me another?” He asks you politely, respectfully. You sit up and cup either side of his head as you do so. 

“I have to. I wanna feel you, all of you,” is your reply. Your foot nudges at the band of his sweatpants, batting your eyelashes at him as seductively as you can. He laughs, a soft laugh that tells you he isn’t making fun of you, but rather, he’s endeared by your actions. 

Sumin kisses you like drizzling honey on a warm croissant, something so sweet and comforting. You aid him as best as you can in removing his clothes. Just as you reach out to stroke his cock, he takes your wrist into his hand gently. “I don’t have any protection, though.”

“It’s okay,” you shake your head, leaving a peck on his cheek. “I trust you. With every part of myself.”

His lips are on yours again as he aligns himself with your entrance. The second he slips in, he feels like he’s on another planet. Your pussy is so inviting, so snug around his dick. It’s like you were made for him, sucking him in with each thrust of his hips. His forehead falls to your shoulder, a hiss reaching your ears when he finally bottoms out. 

“Fuck,” he whispers, grip tight on your hips. 

Your legs wrap around his waist, palms flat on the counter beneath you. Slowly, building up to a pace that’s suitable for both of you, he begins to rock into you. His hold on your sides is enough to make you meet him halfway. 

“You feel so good, Sumin,” you moan, head falling backward so your throat is on display for him. 

He groans into your skin, loving the sound of your voice while he’s inside of you. It’s the loveliest thing he’s ever heard. This is all he could ever need. You. This apartment. Endless days of just having you in his arms, whether it was like this or in a wholesome manner, he didn’t mind either. 

Sumin increases the intensity of his movements when he suspects you’re getting close again, feeling that familiar pulse of your walls. His thumb finds your swollen clit again, circling it with the tiniest amount of pressure. He smiles to himself when you tighten around him, knowing that he’s giving it to you good, the way you deserve. 

He knows there isn’t really a difference between fucking someone and making love to him, as they are essentially the same thing. But making love to someone requires emotion. Some very strong ones at that. And luckily, he had those emotions for you. He wanted to ensure that you felt every single one translated into what he was giving you. He wanted to give you tender love and care. 

Your volume increases, growing higher in pitch the nearer you are to your climax. He kisses you passionately, a lot like that first one you shared, and that’s what brings you to that euphoric waterfall. Your release washes over you in waves, as if you really were at the bottom of cascading water. 

Sumin works you through your orgasm, pulling out once you’re revived. You take his cock into your hand, pumping it so he could finish on your lower belly. His eyes flutter shut momentarily, breathing deeply before he helps you off the counter and cleans you up gently. He kisses the crown of your head, pulling you into him for a warm embrace. (The warmest embrace you’ve ever had in your life.)

“We kinda have to— um— we have to talk about this don’t we?” Out of nowhere, he’s shy, almost like he hadn’t just fucked you on your kitchen counter. 

“I think you’re overthinking things, Sumin. I mean, we have feelings for each other. That’s really all there is to it,” you say into his chest. “We don’t have to make things extremely complicated for no reason. I love you, you love me.” 

“It’s not that I just love you,” he shakes his head. “I’ve been in love with you since senior year. We were getting older and I realized that the fear of losing you to adulthood wasn’t just because I was afraid of you and I drifting apart. It was also because I didn’t want to lose you. I was scared of you meeting new people and forgetting me when I was the one there for you for so long. And fuck, you deserve better than a spontaneous confession after I just defiled you where we eat every day. You deserve fireworks and flowers, you deserve this big grand gesture in a fancy restaurant where hundreds of people can see how special you are. You deserve something surprising.”

You feel tears well in your eyes, your heart just about growing in size. Even if it wasn’t conventionally perfect, it was everything you wanted to hear. Then again, conventionality was never Choi Sumin’s thing, so you never expected anything less. 

His mouth parts when he sees that you're crying, scrambling to figure out what he did wrong. You dismiss his worries, wiping away stray tears quickly. At the same time, you notice something on the ceiling, scoffing to yourself. Minjae’s girlfriend really was something else. 

You point up. “How’s that for surprising?”

He can’t help but laugh at the mistletoe hung right above you, completely inconspicuous this entire time. He closes the gap between you with a quirk of his lip. “Guess we gotta follow tradition. I heard it’s bad luck if you don’t kiss underneath the mistletoe.”

“Did you now?” You tease, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Yup, and I’m pretty sure it’s generational. Plus, we have an entire day ahead of us, so I think we should continue what we started.” His face is so close to your own as he says this. You giggle. 

When your lips meet again, it’s like all is right in the world. Everything melted away and became background noise, like time had stopped specifically for this moment. The moment where it was just you and Sumin. 

This was better than any other gift you could’ve gotten under the tree. Thanks, Santa.

© 𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒊𝒏.

[polarkook]

sugar coated !

bf!jinsik x gf!reader

summary: a quick game of pepero between you and your boyfriend jinsik!

genre: suggestive, fluff

warnings: i wrote gf!reader but there’s not any explicit mentions of gender or pronouns or anything of the sort so anybody can read this tbh, pepero game, making out, like twelve excessively different ways to describe kissing (no like it’s actually a bit silly), jinsik calls reader baby once, reader calls jinsik sweetheart once

a/n: this was just a very short drabble i wrote cause i just wanted to just get it out so idk how well this is actually written or if it even makes any sense. i also didn’t rlly proof read it but F IT WE BALL. i also tagged it under smut but its not rlly smut its just super suggestive but i didn’t know what to tag that as so 💀 forgive me i tried

“i’m gonna go get some snacks from the kitchen, you want anything?” jinsik grunted as he stood up from his spot on the floor, using his hands on his knees to help himself up. you look up from your classwork before smiling and shaking your head. “not anything in particular, no.” you said before going back to the paper you had been working on for the past two hours.

jinsik nodded before turning out the room, the sound of bags crinkling and wooden cabinets opening and closing being heard as he rummaged around. you heard a loud ‘aha!’ come from the kitchen, making your attention turn to the open bedroom door as you waited for jinsik to pop into the door frame. he practically stumbled into the room in his excitement, a bright gleam in his eye and a smile on his face as he held up a small red box in his hand. he shook the box, letting the contents of it thud around before holding it out. you squint and lean forward to read the small white text: pepero. you lean back and raise your brow at the boy. “pepero?” he nods up and down.

“uh-huh! you know what people do with it right?” he wiggles his brows and winks teasingly at you, which only earns him a roll of your eyes.

“really, jinsik? i don’t have time for your silly games.” you huff out, but the gentle smile on your face shows that you’re not really that annoyed at him. you could never be annoyed at his little shenanigans; it was one of the things you loved about him. you turn back to writing your assignment before he drops to his knees next to you, making you flinch at the sound of his knees hitting the floor before you look at him out of the corner of your eye. he grabs your hand to make you stop writing before clasping it gently in his hands, sticking out his lips in a pout.

“pleaaaaaase? just one game?” he begged. you stared at him blankly for a moment before taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh with a roll of your eyes.

“fine.” his eyes immediately lit up as soon as the words left your mouth, wasting no time to start prying the small cardboard box open. you laughed as you watched him fondly before he finally got the box open, holding up one of the sweet, chocolate covered sticks up between the two of you. he made a dramatic show of placing the pretzel side of the treat in his mouth, wiggling his brows at you.

you laughed and rolled your eyes before shuffling closer to him, taking the chocolate between your teeth and looking up at jinsik through your lashes. his face started to turn a light shade of pink and swallowed harshly at the gaze you were giving him, before he snapped out of the daze you had put him in. he was glad the small treat left a few inches of space between you out of fear that if you were any closer you’d hear how hard his heart is beating.

“you go first.” you tell him, making his brows furrow.

“what? why me?”

“because you were the one to suggest this.” he sighed before adjusting his posture, as if moving positions would help him gather the courage to bite closer to you. he tested the waters first, barely moving a centimeter along the treat. you rolled your eyes before moving significantly closer, catching jinsik off guard and making his eyes grow wide with surprise. he composed himself before taking a bigger bite, matching the one that you took. inch by inch, bite by bite, the space between your lips grew smaller and smaller.

your eyes had been trained on the shortening length of the pepero, but the moment your noses brushed, you both paused as your eyes snapped up to look into his. you found he was already looking at you with half-lidded eyes, studying you intensely. his eyes trailed down to your lips before looking you in the eyes again. you grew embarrassed under his unwavering stare. before you could make a move or even say anything, jinsik brought his hand up to cup your jaw before taking the rest of the candy in his mouth and pressing his lips against yours.

a small ‘mph!’ left your lips before you sighed into his mouth as your eyes fluttered shut and you melted against his lips. the kiss started off gently; quick, soft presses of your lips before pulling back slightly then going back for more. jinsik could taste the sweet chocolate on your tongue, only making him addicted and desperate for more. one of his hands snake down to slide around your waist, his arm wrapping around your back to tug you closer to him as his other hand stays against your cheek. you wrap your arms around his neck and press your torso against his as you shift yourself to sit in his lap when the kiss starts getting more intense, your fingers tangling into the hair at the base of his neck.

you let him tilt your jaw to the side to deepen the kiss, heavy pants and small whines being let out into each others mouths. you feel the palm of his hand splay out flat against your back to arch you into him, your chest pressing against his as you pull him impossibly closer in return. after a few more kisses are exchanged you start to pull away, only to have jinsik chase after you. “jinsik— mmph, sweetheart, i have to get back to my paper,” you mumbled against his lips but the only acknowledgment you earned from him was an ‘mmm’ in response.

he took your bottom lip between his teeth softly before pulling back, tugging your plush lip as he did so. this time, you were the one chasing after him. your eyes fluttered open to be met with a sight you could never get tired of seeing: jinsik with his hair messy, face flushed, and a soft smirk on his kiss swollen lips. he pet you from the top of your hair down to rest his hand on your cheek again. “c’mon, baby. the paper will still be there when we’re done,” he leaned his face down to brush his lips against yours. “i’m just borrowing you for a few minutes. or a few hours.” jinsik smiled against your lips at the last comment, kissing you again as a tactic to convince you to let him give you more. it was working.

“okay,” you whisper back. “but just a few minutes, okay?” jinsik nodded, but you both knew you were lying. he shifted under you to have enough stability to lean you back while supporting your weight. he had one hand on your back while the other rested behind your head to lay you down on the floor gently before his arms come to cage around your head as he hovers over you. the sight of his toned arms, his purple hair falling in front of his face, and his stupidly attractive smirk had your heart racing and thighs clenching around his hips as he leaned down to take your lips in his again, your arms coming up to wrap around his shoulders without any hesitation.

needless to say you did not get back to your paper that night.

[polarkook]

I Noticed

Bucky x reader

Summary: You and Bucky are good friends, but you didn't realize he knew practically everything about you...

Word Count: 4,779

The conference room was unusually quiet for a Tuesday afternoon meeting. Everyone was already seated – Steve flipping through a tablet, Natasha sipping coffee, Sam looking like he was seconds away from falling asleep with his head propped on one hand.

You were seated toward the middle, elbow on the table, cheek in your palm, staring at the clock.

"Ugh," you groaned softly. "I'm already thirsty. I should've brought water."

Sam cracked one eye open. "Rookie mistake."

You gave him a half-hearted glare. "Thanks, Sam. So helpful."

Then your stomach growled and you sighed again. "I should've brought snacks, too. I have a bag of those garlic parmesan Dot’s pretzels in my room – they’re my favorite. I was gonna bring 'em but I forgot. They would've been perfect right now."

"Garlic pretzels in a closed room? Bold choice," Natasha quipped, smirking over her mug.

"They’re elite. You wouldn’t understand."

Just as you finished your sentence, the door opened and in walked Bucky, casual as ever, looking like he hadn’t rushed at all despite being a solid five minutes late.

"Hey," he said to the room before walking over to your seat.

Without saying anything else, he placed a bottle of water and a Ziploc bag full of garlic parmesan Dot’s pretzels in front of you, then sat down beside you like it was the most normal thing in the world.

You blinked at the items.

So did everyone else.

Steve’s mouth parted. Natasha looked genuinely surprised. Sam sat up straighter, eyebrows raised. Even Tony, who’d just entered behind Bucky, paused mid-step.

You looked at the bag. Then the water. Then at Bucky.

"...You literally just brought me exactly what I said I wanted like ten seconds ago."

Bucky blinked at you. "Yeah? I figured you’d be thirsty – you never bring water to meetings. And you usually get hungry around this time, so I brought snacks."

There was a beat of silence.

And then it hit.

"Oh my God," Sam laughed, pointing dramatically. "They’re not even dating and he knows her snack schedule."

Steve covered a smile with his hand. "That’s...actually kind of impressive."

Natasha leaned forward. "You even brought her favorite flavor?"

Bucky frowned slightly, confused. "Well, yeah. She likes the garlic parmesan ones."

"HE KNOWS THE FLAVOR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN," Tony declared like a ring announcer. "WE’VE GOT A SOFTIE IN THE WILD."

You buried your face in your hands, cheeks burning. "Oh my God, you guys–"

Bucky just shrugged, annoyingly unbothered. "What? She gets grumpy when she’s hungry."

And somehow that only made it worse.

Or better.

Depending on who you asked.

You hadn’t even opened the bag of pretzels yet. They just sat there in front of you, taunting you while your face turned redder by the second.

And Bucky? Completely calm. Like being a walking encyclopedia on your habits was not wildly incriminating.

That is, until Sam leaned forward with a grin.

"Okay, Barnes. Pop quiz."

Bucky gave him a suspicious side-eye. "Why?"

"Because," Tony chimed in, "you just demonstrated an alarming level of girlfriend knowledge for someone who's allegedly not dating her."

"We're not–!" you started, but Natasha held up a finger to silence you.

"This is more fun."

She turned to Bucky. "Favorite coffee order. Go."

"Caramel iced latte, extra ice."

Your jaw dropped slightly. "That’s–"

"Correct," Sam cut in, smirking. "Alright, alright – shampoo and conditioner brand?"

Bucky didn’t even hesitate. "Pantene – the coconut scent."

You whipped around to stare at him. "How the hell do you know that?!"

He looked at you like it was obvious. "Because your bathroom always smells like coconut. And that one time you stayed at my place after a mission, you complained that I only had 2-in-1."

Natasha bit back a laugh. "We’re logging that for future teasing."

"Okay, okay," Tony leaned on the table like he was hosting a game show. "Let’s make this harder. Favorite snack that's not garlic parmesan pretzels?"

"Peanut M&M’s. But she picks out the brown ones and eats them last because she says they taste the most ‘chocolatey.’"

You slapped a hand over your mouth. "Are you keeping notes somewhere?!"

Bucky just shrugged like it was no big deal. “You talk a lot when we hang out.”

"My heart can’t take this," Steve said, dramatically clutching his chest.

"Mine either," Sam added. "This is some Hallmark level slow burn stuff and I didn’t even know I wanted it."

"Do you know her favorite hoodie too?" Natasha asked.

He glanced at you, then pointed without looking. "That light grey one she stole from me? Wears it three times a week, minimum."

You gaped at him. "...You let me steal that."

"You think I didn’t notice?" he said, and you caught the tiniest curve of a smirk on his lips.

The room collectively lost it.

"Okay, this is criminal," Tony declared. "I’ve seen actual married couples who know less about each other."

"You’re clearly in love with her," Sam added helpfully.

Bucky’s smirk dropped slightly, and for a split second, something unreadable flickered in his expression as he glanced at you – soft, unsure, and maybe a little too earnest.

You froze.

So did he.

And then Natasha cleared her throat. "Well, this meeting is officially a disaster, but I’m emotionally invested now."

Steve gave you both a look. "Anything either of you wanna share with the class?"

You made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a groan, covering your face with your hands again.

Beside you, Bucky just leaned back in his chair and said, “Can we please talk about the mission now? Before they start planning our wedding?”

But even as he said it, you felt his knee brush against yours under the table.

--

The meeting finally wrapped up after an hour of mission briefings, supply checklists, and Tony trying to convince Steve to let him name the next Quinjet The Iron Bus. Everyone stood, gathering their things, but the tension in the room wasn’t about the mission at all – it was about you and Bucky.

You had barely pushed your chair back before Sam clapped his hands once and turned to Bucky with renewed mischief in his eyes.

"Alright, now that the boring stuff’s out of the way – round two."

Bucky blinked. "Seriously?"

"You thought we forgot? That whole time I was pretending to care about drone placements, I was building a list."

"I was also building a list," Natasha added, already pulling out her phone.

Steve sighed but didn’t stop them. “I mean…I am kind of curious now.”

Tony grinned. “This is the best part of my day.”

You groaned. “Oh my god, guys–”

“Nope,” Sam said. “Too late. Barnes, what’s her favorite candle scent?”

“Vanilla,” Bucky said without pause.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Okay, but how do you know that?”

“You lit one in my kitchen once. Said it was ‘elite cozy vibes.’”

Tony choked on a laugh. “He even quoted her. This is so real.”

Natasha stepped in next. “Alright – what color does she always pick for her nails?”

“Soft pink. Unless she’s in a mood, then it’s that dark reddish-purple color…what’s it called? ‘Black Cherry?’”

You squinted. “Okay, that’s either creepy or impressive–”

“Impressive,” Sam decided. “Definitely impressive.”

Steve raised a brow. “What about her go-to song when she’s in a bad mood?”

Bucky smiled a little. “idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish.”

You blinked. “Wait, how do you even know that?”

“You played it on repeat for like four days after that one mission with the HYDRA facility. I asked you if you were okay and you said, ‘I’m fine, I just need to cry and hydrate.’”

Natasha was actually laughing now. “He’s got quotes, too.”

Tony raised a finger like he was conducting an interview. “Okay, Bucky – final round. What’s her go-to breakfast when she’s had a rough night?”

Bucky leaned back casually. “Scrambled eggs with pepperjack cheese, hot sauce, two slices of toast, and coffee with oat milk and a tiny bit of cinnamon.”

Everyone turned to you like you’d just been caught in 4K.

You stared at him. “You remembered all of that?”

He shrugged. “I’ve made it for you before.”

Sam fake-fainted onto the conference table.

“I can’t take this,” Steve said, rubbing his temples. “This is ridiculous.”

“It’s domestic,” Natasha corrected. “And I love it.”

You groaned again and dropped your head onto your crossed arms. “Can the floor swallow me now?”

Bucky leaned over and murmured, “I think they’re just jealous.”

You peeked up at him. “Of what?”

He gave you that tiny smirk again. “That I pay attention.”

You sat up and shoved the bag of pretzels toward Bucky with a flustered laugh. “Here. Take these back. You’ve earned them.”

Bucky just grinned and tossed one in his mouth. “They taste better when I’m right.”

--

Eventually, the room emptied out. Steve wrangled Tony into actually submitting a mission report, Nat headed to the gym, and Sam left muttering about needing a nap.

You lingered, still sitting in your chair, picking at the label on your water bottle while Bucky packed up his notes. The teasing had died down, but your heart hadn’t quite stopped doing somersaults.

He was halfway to the door when you said, softly, “Hey, Buck?”

He paused, looked over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

You motioned for him to come back. “Can I ask you something?”

His brows rose, but he came back over, folding his arms as he leaned against the edge of the table beside you. “You wanna quiz me now?”

“Maybe.” You tilted your head, watching him. “I just wanna see how far this weird…psychic Barnes ability goes.”

He gave a lazy grin. “Alright. Hit me.”

You took a breath. “Okay. Pads or tampons?”

He blinked once. “Both.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Details?”

He scratched his jaw, not missing a beat. “You use the regular tampons most days, but you always keep a pack of those thin pads with the wings in your bathroom drawer – orange wrapper, right? You said the combo makes you feel less paranoid about leaks when you’re out on missions.”

Your jaw dropped a little.

Bucky’s smirk faded, growing a little more serious when he saw your expression. “I wasn’t, like, digging through your stuff or anything. You asked me to grab painkillers once while you were curled up on the couch, and I saw the pack when I opened the drawer. And you mentioned the tampon thing that one time when we got stuck waiting in that safe house for hours and you were grumpy.”

You swallowed. “Okay…uh. Chocolate preference?”

“Milk chocolate when you’re just craving sugar, milk chocolate with caramel when you’re on your period.”

Your cheeks warmed, but you didn’t stop. “When I cry, what do I want someone to do?”

“Sit with you. Don’t talk unless you ask. You like quiet comfort.”

You were fully staring at him now, unable to find any words, so he filled the silence gently.

“I know you get really overwhelmed when you feel like someone’s watching too closely while you’re upset. You hate feeling...exposed. So I don’t stare. I just stay close.”

You blinked fast, chest tightening with something way bigger than embarrassment now.

“Why?” you asked, barely above a whisper. “Why do you pay attention like that?”

Bucky shrugged one shoulder, not meeting your eyes at first. “Because you matter to me. And…when someone matters, you notice things. The important stuff. The things that make them feel seen.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, overwhelmed. “No one’s ever paid attention like that. No one’s ever noticed.”

Finally, he looked at you again. And this time, there was no smirk, no teasing grin – just something quiet and sure in his eyes.

“I noticed.”

After a moment, you smiled faintly. “What’s my favorite place to be when I’m sad?”

“Anywhere I am,” he said without missing a beat.

And this time, you didn’t even try to hide the way your heart skipped.

--

Later that evening, the compound was quieter – mission prep done, sparring sessions wrapped up, and the post-meeting teasing finally done.

You’d snuck off for a hot shower, hoping to wash away the lingering flush in your cheeks from earlier. The Avengers had been relentless, and even though Bucky hadn’t said anything else since the conference room, his words still echoed in your head.

I noticed.

You exhaled under the spray and tried not to think about it too hard.

Meanwhile, in the common room, the chaos was still quietly unfolding.

Tony strolled in with a tablet in hand, looking far too pleased with himself. “Alright, children, it’s that magical time – takeout vote. We've got Thai, Indian, tacos, pizza, sushi, and that weird little vegan place Bruce likes.”

“I swear to God, if you put seaweed bowls on the menu again–” Sam started.

“Focus,” Tony cut him off, tapping the screen. “We’ll tally up votes. Bucky, where’s your girl?”

Bucky, sprawled comfortably on the couch with one leg slung over the side, didn’t even flinch at the phrasing. “Showering.”

“Wow,” Natasha muttered. “Didn’t even blink at that.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “And you’re voting for her too, I assume?”

Bucky nodded, nonchalant. “Two for Indian.”

Steve looked up from his book. “Did she say that?”

“Nope.”

Sam smirked immediately. “So we’re guessing now?”

“I’m not guessing,” Bucky replied evenly. “She’s not in a pizza mood today.”

Tony looked at him like he was a contestant on a game show. “So you're locking in Indian for the both of you. No communication. No signals. No magic powers?”

Bucky shrugged. “Yep.”

“I’m starting a betting pool,” Sam announced, pulling out his phone.

“I want in,” Natasha said, crossing her arms.

“She loves pizza,” Steve reminded. “Are we sure about this?”

“She does love pizza,” Bucky agreed, arms folded behind his head. “But not tonight.”

Sam grinned wide. “Alright, let’s take some bets. Five says she picks pizza. Anyone else?”

Money and pride were quickly thrown around – half the team convinced Bucky’s luck had to run out eventually, the other half wary because…well. It was Bucky. And somehow he just knew things about you.

Five minutes later, you wandered into the common room in fresh clothes, hair damp and rubbing moisturizer into your face with zero awareness of the quiet, expectant tension in the air.

“Hey,” you said casually, “what’s going on?”

Tony cleared his throat, playing it cool. “Just figuring out dinner. Got a few options – Thai, Indian, tacos, pizza, sushi, and Bruce’s vegan sadness bowls. What sounds good?”

You made a face, thinking. “Hmm, not really in the mood for pizza today. Indian.”

The room exploded.

“NO WAY,” Nat yelled.

“Unbelievable,” Steve said.

Sam stood and threw his arms in the air. “THIS IS RIGGED.”

Tony shouted over the chaos, “I CALL WITCHCRAFT.”

You froze, blinking at everyone, confused.

“Did I miss something?” you asked slowly.

Bucky just sat there calmly, like he hadn’t just won the mind-reader Olympics. “Told them you’d want Indian.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Did you spy on me in the shower or something?”

“Nope,” he said, looking smug. “Just know you.”

The team descended into chaos again – some demanding their money back, others insisting on a rematch next week.

You just grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and chucked it at Bucky’s chest.

He caught it, laughed, and tossed it back. “I’m undefeated.”

--

The food arrived about twenty minutes later, the smell of warm spices and garlic naan instantly filling the common area. Tony called out a triumphant “Dinner’s here!” like he’d made it himself, and everyone swarmed the table to claim their orders.

You padded over a little slower, then Bucky turned from the table and held up a hand.

“I got your plate,” he said casually, already balancing two in his hands.

You paused. “Wait, I didn’t even tell you–”

“I know.” He handed it over without fanfare.

You looked down.

Your favorite combo – chicken tikka masala, a scoop of basmati rice (but not too much), a piece of garlic naan torn in half, some cucumber raita on the side, and a few spoonfuls of that tangy chickpea salad you always liked when you weren’t in the mood for something too heavy.

You stared at the plate like it had been conjured by sorcery.

He turned and headed for the couch like it was nothing, like he hadn’t just read your mind again. And behind you, the rest of the team was once more staring – some with mouths open, others quietly shaking their heads.

Sam muttered, “Alright, I’m starting to believe he’s just a very hot, brooding psychic.”

Natasha leaned toward Tony. “We should run a brain scan.”

Tony looked vaguely offended. “Trust me, I already tried. He’s just…annoying.”

You followed Bucky to the couch and sat beside him, setting your plate on the coffee table before sinking into the cushions.

“You keep doing that,” you said after a second, still looking at your dinner.

“Doing what?” he replied, tearing off a piece of naan without looking at you.

“Knowing what I want. Before I even know what I want.”

That made him glance over. His voice was quiet now, just between the two of you. “Is it weird?”

You thought about it. “It’s…not. I mean, it should be. But it’s not. It’s actually kinda–”

Your voice caught, the word sitting there, unsaid.

Comforting.

Bucky nodded like he already knew.

Then, like he wanted to shift the moment before it got too close to something you couldn’t take back, he leaned in a little with a smirk. “Don’t act too impressed. I just paid attention. And you’re kinda predictable.”

You nudged his arm with your elbow. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I know.” He bumped his knee gently against yours. “Still right, though.”

The rest of dinner passed in a cozy haze – soft laughter, shared food, everyone gradually settling into their usual spots. But the way Bucky’s knee stayed resting against yours, neither of you moving – it felt like something new.

--

A while later, plates were cleaned, takeout containers scattered across the coffee table, and stomachs full enough that no one was in the mood to move much – perfect conditions for the sacred Avengers tradition: movie night.

“Alright,” Tony called out from where he was already draped dramatically over the recliner. “What are our options tonight?”

Okay, we got The Godfather, Jaws, Tangled, Mission Impossible, 21 Jump Street, and John Wick,” Sam read off the screen.

You stood, stretching. “I’ll be right back. Don’t vote without me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Steve said, even though everyone absolutely would.

The second the bathroom door clicked shut, Tony sat up like a meerkat. “Alright. Let’s go. What’s your pick, Barnes?”

“John Wick,” Bucky said, without even looking up from where he was idly spinning the empty naan container on the table.

There was a beat of stunned silence.

Nat whipped her head around. “You’re not choosing Tangled?”

“Nope.”

“She just said the other day that she wanted to watch it,” Nat reminded him, pointing dramatically. “Like, word for word, ‘I wanna rewatch Tangled soon.’ You’re telling me you’re going against that?”

Bucky just shrugged, totally unbothered. “I know what she wants tonight.”

Tony looked at Sam, eyes narrowed. “This is the beginning of the fall of House Barnes. The man’s gotten cocky.”

“I give him one more round,” Sam muttered, already pulling out his wallet. “Five bucks says she picks Tangled.”

“Ten says 21 Jump Street,” Clint called from the kitchen. “I say she’s in a comedy mood.”

“I’m going full chaos,” Nat added, grinning. “Twenty on Jaws.”

Steve, ever neutral, just raised his eyebrows. “You really think she wants an action movie right now?”

Bucky finally looked up. “She’s tired. Mentally wiped. Tangled is comfort, yeah, but she wants to zone out, not cry over animated lanterns.”

Tony blinked. “You’re playing 4D chess.”

“She’s playing checkers,” Bucky replied calmly. “I just know the board.”

The room was a barely contained mess of betting and bickering by the time you reappeared.

You sat back down, cozying up with the blanket you’d left on the couch. “We vote yet?”

“We were just about to,” Steve said, way too quickly.

They went around the room, collecting votes with forced casualness.

Then, all eyes turned to you.

You paused, lips pursed in thought. “Hmm…”

The silence was deafening.

You tapped your chin. “Not really in the mood for Disney right now, actually…”

Someone gasped.

“…Let’s do John Wick.”

The room erupted.

“WHAT?!”

“No way – NO WAY–”

“Check her room for bugs!”

“ARE YOU TWO SECRETLY DATING?!”

Tony was pacing, Sam collapsed dramatically onto the rug, and Nat looked like she was genuinely questioning reality.

Meanwhile, Bucky just leaned back, arms crossed, as calm as ever.

You blinked at the chaos. “Did I…do something?”

“Oh, you did something,” Sam groaned, flopping backward.

“You broke them,” Bucky muttered under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear, his voice full of quiet amusement.

You looked over at him, fighting back a smile. “You knew I’d pick it.”

He met your gaze, the ghost of a grin tugging at his mouth. “Course I did.”

And somehow, in the middle of popcorn-throwing accusations and Tony trying to demand a federal investigation, your heart started beating just a little faster.

--

The next morning started like any other: coffee, early training, then hitting the showers.

You stretched your arms behind your head, grimacing. “I’m starving. I want eggs. Like, five eggs.”

“Go shower, Egg Queen,” Sam called. “We’ll save you a spot.”

You flipped him off over your shoulder, already headed toward your room.

Once you disappeared around the corner, the rest of the group started trickling toward the kitchen. Bucky walked in with Steve, Nat, and Sam, still towel-drying his hair, when the teasing immediately resumed.

“So,” Nat said, leaning against the counter with a smirk, “you gonna make her eggs now, Barnes? Scrambled? Sunny side up? Whole omelet situation?”

Bucky gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Would. But she’s not gonna want eggs anymore.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “She literally said the word ‘eggs’ like two minutes ago.”

“Yeah,” Sam added. “Plural. With intention.”

“She’s gonna change her mind,” Bucky said calmly, reaching for the pancake mix.

There was a beat of silence.

“…You’re kidding,” Clint said, appearing behind them and already suspicious.

“Nope.”

Nat crossed her arms. “Alright. What is she gonna want?”

“Chocolate chip pancakes,” Bucky said, pulling ingredients from the cabinet. “Light layer of peanut butter on top. Not spread thick. Just enough.”

“And syrup?” Steve asked, deadpan.

“Just a little. Thin drizzle over the top, not drowning.”

“Drink?” Sam challenged, narrowing his eyes.

“Chocolate milk.”

At that, no one said anything for a second. They just stared. Nat was already pulling out her phone.

“I’m documenting this. If you’re wrong, I’m sending the video to every group chat we have.”

“Do it,” Bucky said, already whisking batter like a man with zero fear of failure.

Ten minutes passed. Pancakes were golden, peanut butter spread lightly, and the chocolate milk was already poured in your favorite mug.

And then, you walked in, hair damp and pulled back, hoodie sleeves half covering your hands. You opened the fridge, still blinking from the heat of the shower.

“Hey,” Bucky said without turning around. “Want me to make your eggs?”

You stared into the fridge for a beat. “Mm…no, actually. I think I want pancakes.”

The room went dead silent.

You didn’t notice. “Do we have chocolate chips?”

Still silence.

“Oh, and chocolate milk,” you added, pulling the fridge door closed. “You know, that sounds really good actually.”

You turned.

The plate was already sitting on the counter.

Your chocolate milk was already in your mug.

You blinked. “Wait. Did you–”

“Yeah.” Bucky slid the plate toward you with a casual smile. “Figured you’d want pancakes.”

You looked down at it, then back up. “Okay, that’s…insane.”

“I’m used to you changing your mind,” he said with a little shrug. “I listen.”

And then, the room exploded.

“NOPE – NOPE, I’M OUT!” Sam stormed out of the kitchen.

Nat was filming again. “I hate how calm he is. Like he didn’t just perform witchcraft again.”

“I’m convinced,” Clint muttered. “They’re telepathically bonded.”

Steve just looked vaguely disturbed. “I don’t even know my own favorite pancake setup that well.”

You blinked at Bucky again, who was completely unfazed, like this wasn’t the millionth time in twenty-four hours he’d rearranged reality by knowing you a little too well.

You took a bite of the pancake, still warm and soft and perfect.

“…Okay,” you mumbled with your mouth full. “This is actually kinda amazing.”

He leaned against the counter, smug as ever. “Told you.”

--

The others slowly trickled out of the kitchen after breakfast, muttering in stunned tones, still trying to recover. Nat was rewatching her own footage like it was evidence in a conspiracy theory. Tony was threatening to install surveillance.

But eventually, it was just you and Bucky, the clink of your fork on the plate and the hum of the fridge the only sounds left behind.

You took another bite, slower this time. It was still warm.

You glanced at him, leaning back on the counter across from you, arms crossed, looking completely at ease – like this wasn’t the weirdest thing in the world, like he hadn’t just predicted your entire breakfast down to the drizzle of syrup.

“…How do you do that?” you asked, finally, voice soft in the quiet.

He raised an eyebrow. “Do what?”

You gave him a look, the corners of your mouth twitching. “Bucky.”

He smirked a little, then pushed off the counter and walked over to you, grabbing a clean mug and pouring himself some coffee. He didn’t answer right away.

“I just pay attention,” he said eventually, voice quieter now. “That’s all.”

You swallowed the last bite and leaned forward on your elbows. “Yeah, but…it’s more than that. You don’t just notice, like, big stuff. You know all these little things about me. Things most people don’t even think to remember.”

He looked over at you, gaze steady but warm. “Well, most people don’t really look at you the way I do.”

You blinked.

“Not in a creepy way,” he added quickly, a hint of a smile breaking through. “Just…I notice things.”

He sat across from you, wrapping his hands around the coffee mug. “You start craving chocolate when you're stressed. You say you want eggs, but if you’ve just showered, you usually go for something sweet instead. You hum when you’re thinking. And when you’re overwhelmed, you get really quiet – not annoyed, just kind of…floaty. Like your brain’s stuck buffering.”

Your breath caught a little, something fluttering deep in your chest.

“And you always drink chocolate milk when you feel safe,” he added, softer this time. “Not just when you’re hungry.”

You looked down at your mug. You hadn’t even realized that.

Silence fell between you again, but this time it felt heavier – comfortable, but with something unspoken stretched between you.

“…Why?” you asked, finally.

He looked up.

You met his eyes. “Why do you notice all that?”

Bucky didn’t answer right away. He just looked at you for a moment, like he was deciding how honest to be.

Then, in a voice barely above a whisper: “Because you make it easy to care.”

You didn’t say anything.

Couldn’t.

He took a breath, eyes flicking down to the table, then back up.

“I’ve had to watch my back for a long time. I notice things – it’s how I survive. But you…” He gave a quiet laugh, like it surprised even him. “You’re the first person who made me want to notice the good stuff. The small stuff. Just so I could take care of it.”

That flutter in your chest turned into a full-blown ache.

You stared at him, unsure what to say, heart pounding.

But before either of you could say another word, Sam’s voice yelled from the other room:

“Hey, Barnes! If you’re done being a walking love song, can you bring the remote?!”

Bucky groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “Every time.”

You were still looking at him, a soft smile pulling at the corner of your lips. “You’re kind of a sap.”

He grinned at that, his eyes flicking to yours with a spark. “Only for you.”

And then he got up, grabbed the remote, and tossed a wink over his shoulder before disappearing down the hallway.

Leaving you alone in the kitchen.

With your perfect pancakes.

And a heart that wouldn’t stop racing.

--

Masterlist

Bucky Taglist: @winchestert101 @herejustforbuckybarnes @avengemepercy @buckyslove1917 @nelachu2423 @iyskgd

[polarkook]

(photo creds to @/dragonajoestarr on instagram)

introducing THUNDERBOLTS as MLP

the thunderbolts (mane 6) defeat void (nightmare moon) with the power of friendship!

introducing VOID as NIGHTMARE MOON

YELENA BELOVA as TWILIGHT SPARKLE

JAMES “BUCKY” BARNES as RARITY

ROBERT “BOB” REYNOLDS as FLUTTERSHY

ALEXEI SHOSTAKOV as PINKIE PIE

AVA STARR as APPLEJACK

JOHN WALKER as RAINBOW DASH

[polarkook]

yum

bad habit !

idol!sumin x fem!reader

summary: sumin has a bad biting habit— and you are not exempt from it.

genre: fluff, slightly suggestive

warnings: biting (duh), a bit suggestive in the last scenario but it’s fluffy otherwise, sumin and reader are said to be the same age (20), in the first two scenarios sumin and reader aren’t dating yet (just crushes) but in the last two they are (//∇//)

a/n: my first xikers post! and also like my first full fic ever (⌒▽⌒) there’s a serious lack of xikers content on this site, i’ve already read through all of it 💀 but i hope this small fic is enough to make other roady’s on here happy too. i have a jinsik drabble im working on too so pls look forward to that (*´∇｀*) lowkey the second scenario gave me crazy butterflies like it made me giddy af (before the ending anyways) and i was the one that wrote it 😭 but i feel like my writing is super obviously amateur, which makes me a bit embarrassed but hopefully this is an enjoyable read anyways 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

sumin loved to use his teeth.

you found this out when you were both six and in elementary school and he bit you because you took the toy he was wanting to play with for recess. it went about as well as you’d imagine. you started crying before swinging the toy down and hitting sumin on the back with it, causing him to burst out into tears as well. in the end, both of your parents were called and you got the scolding of a life time from your mother when you got home.

sumin brought a sweet flavored candy the next day along with a slightly less sweet apology. he didn’t make eye contact with you and he mumbled out a simple “sorry” and nothing else before shoving the candy your way, but you accepted the both of them nonetheless. you gave him a toothy smile (which in sumin’s opinion was the sweetest thing he had with him that day, though he’d never admit it) before taking his hand in yours and dragging him out to play. despite the severely rocky start to your friendship, the both of you had been inseparable ever since.

maybe it was this first experience with each other that let you stay so close with each other even fourteen years later, because from the very beginning you knew what he was— a biter.

— !

the xiker’s boys had invited you over to one of their dorms for their monthly hangout night— ideally it would be a weekly thing, but their schedules never allowed for rest days that consistently. being sumin’s best friend since before he even knew about the existence of xikers, you had gotten pretty close with the rest of them. of course, sumin has and always will be your favorite— much to the disdain of the others.

you stood behind the couch with a smile on your face while seeun, minjae, and yechan occupied the cushions. all of your gazes were completely locked onto the tv, where a very intense and serious game of mario kart was occurring. “seeun, stop cheating!” minjae yelled out when said boy started to move into minjae’s space in an attempt to distract him, his body being bumped into yechan who was on his right. this only made yechan start to push back against minjae, eventually leading to the three boys getting into each others personal space in an attempt to completely sabotage their gameplay.

their shenanigans caused small giggles to leave your lips, completely unaware of the set of eyes that were locked onto you instead of the game. sumin stood off to the side by the dining table, leaning against the wall with a fond look on his face. when sumin had first thought of introducing you to his members, he was truthfully a little nervous. “what if they don’t like each other?” “what if they get into a fist fight?” “what if someone dies and the night is plagued with that experience forever and as a result they can never get along?” sumin knows now that all of those thoughts were absolutely ridiculous (some more so than others), but he truly just wanted all of his favorite people to like each other as much as he did.

“careful, if you stare any harder they might burst into flames.” the flat voice that seemingly appeared out of nowhere made sumin jump before he looked to his left where junghoon was eyeing him with his arms crossed and a knowing look on his face. sumin’s surprise relaxed before he tensed up again at junghoon’s implications. he forced out an awkward laugh and shook his head. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

junghoon didn’t say anything, but with a gaze like his, he didn’t really need to. his expression seemingly stayed the same, but sumin didn’t miss the way his eyes narrowed and his eyebrows subtly raised. sumin swallowed harshly and seemed to sink into himself as he looked away from junghoon in an unsuccessful attempt to escape his judgment. he looked back over to him before he let out a sigh of acceptance, reluctantly nodding gently. “yeah i know…” sumin mumbled before the sound of your laughter ringing through the air made him bring his attention back to you.

he smiled at how the sight of your smile filled his chest with warmth before he mindlessly started walking over to you, as if following you was simply second nature to him (and he really would follow you anywhere). he comes up behind you and wraps his strong arms around your waist, the sudden intrusion causing you to jump before you realize who it is and immediately relax. sumin rests his cheek on your shoulder and smiles up at you as you melt into his warmth. “hi.”

you raise your brow at him as the corner of your mouth starts to twitch up into a ghost of a smile. “hi.” you say back, making sumin’s grin grow before he nudges his face into the crook of your neck. you huff out a laugh and bring your hand up to tangle into his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp with your nails. the gentle feeling of your hand in his hair made his body involuntarily relax as he sighed out against your neck, his warm breath sending a shiver up your spine. you turn your attention back to the tv in front of you, but you’re more focused on the way sumin’s warm hands feel pressed against your stomach, his thumb soothingly rubbing back and forth.

“sumin! come help us cut vegetables.” hunter’s voice called out for him from the kitchen, causing you to jump slightly at the sudden sound and causing sumin’s shoulders to slump and let out a loud groan in protest. “less whining, more helping!” sumin sighed before he smiled in defeat, his teeth brushing against your neck as if forewarning what was to come. he quickly tightened his arms around your waist and bit into your shoulder before unwrapping himself from you and running off to where hunter needed him. “hey!” your hand comes up to touch the spot on your shoulder where his teeth had been, a disbelieving smile on your lips. sumin turns, scrunches his nose and sticks his tongue out at you, before turning the corner and disappearing off into the kitchen.

— !

it was one of the very rare times sumin had been granted a break by KQ, and a week long one at that. the company decided that they deserved it after their hard work promoting their recent comeback, but if they asked you, you would’ve said they deserved it always. while some of the boys decided to stay at the dorms, others had ventured their way back home to visit family, sumin being one of them. despite still going to visit him at the dorms often, it never felt like it was enough, so you were over the moon to have him back for a whole week.

the first day or two you had left him alone to spend some much needed time with his parents and brother, but after that he had crawled his way back to you, claiming that it had been too long since he last saw you (two days) and pestering you non-stop to spend the night. ‘just like humans need water to survive, sumins need y/ns to survive,’ is what he had said, which only earned him an eyeroll and light smack to the head.

and so, you both laid side by side in the dark of his room, the only light coming from the moon shining through the window. you laid on your side with your hands rested in the empty space between you two, close enough to feel the heat radiating from each other but not so close that you were actually touching.

you let out a soft giggle, trying your absolute hardest to stay quiet so as not to disturb his family from their sleep. “okay, okay. if you had to be stranded in the middle of space with any of your members, who would you pick?”

“i’d take my helmet off.” you let out a huff of air and smacked him on the arm, making sumin giggle out and put his hands up in surrender.

“okay, okay! i’m kidding! hm… jinsik.” sumin says with a decisive nod of his head. you smile and raise your eyebrows.

“really?” sumin lets out a small ‘mhm’ and nods making you hum in thought and nod slowly. a cheshire like smile grows on your face as an idea starts to form in your head. “that’s not that surprising i guess. if it was between being stuck in the middle of space with me or being stuck in the middle of space with jinsik, who would you choose?”

“you.”

he said the word with so much conviction, as if it was a message written by the hand of god himself and delivered to you through the mouth of sumin. the sturdiness of his word caught you off guard, your smile falling as everything grows quiet between the two of you. the rest of the world seems to fall away as you stare at him and he stares at you. you watch his eyes drift across your face: your eyes, your nose, your cheeks, your lips. you let your own eyes wander down to his lips, swallowing harshly when his gaze snaps back up to your eyes and catches you.

his hand shifts in the bed slightly, as if he was scared that any sudden movements would scare you off entirely; would scare you off eternally. when you don’t do so much as even flinch, he takes a deep, shaky breath as if to steel himself before he stretches out his pinky to gently touch the soft side of your hand. you look down at your hands before looking back into sumin’s eyes, your own pinky moving to gently rest itself over his. you sit like that for a moment, interlocking your pinkies before he gently takes your hand in his, intertwining your fingers together. you let the perfect feeling of his hand pressed against yours sink into your bones, seeping through the marrow to rest gently in the deepest part of your soul, where you decided it would stay protected for the rest of your life.

your heart stutters as he shuffles just that much closer, his eyes drifting back down to your lips. you subconsciously hold your breath in anticipation, the tension between you two looming over like a thick blanket. he blinks a few times, as if shaking a thought out of his head before he drags your connected hands up to his mouth and sinks his teeth into the plush skin on the side of your hand. you let out a gasp and squeal as you try to pry your hand from his assault, your joint laughters replacing the odd feeling that had overtaken the room previously. the tension disappeared, never to be mentioned again that night.

— !

you swung your arms back and forth as a gentle summer breeze blew through your hair, your sandals being held in one hand by the straps. you stared at the sandy ground, watching as the warm water of the ocean reached the tips of your toes only to slink back again as you waited for sumin to show up. you guys had been dating for about a month at this point and had hung out multiple times throughout, but this was your first official date. you had once mentioned to him offhandedly that you would’ve liked to go to the beach with a boyfriend, something you thought he would’ve long forgotten, but he surprised you when he asked if you were free that weekend, telling you he was taking you out on that date.

he had a short practice that morning so he told you to go on ahead and that he’d meet you there straight after. you were strung a bit tight from nerves, so you had gotten there about 15 minutes prior to the meet up time, so you knew you would be waiting a bit, but you still couldn’t help but feel nervous that maybe sumin was going to stand you up. you knew sumin, maybe even more than you knew yourself, so you know deep down he’d never do something like that, but your brain had a funny way of hating you, filling your head with negative thoughts. you gently walked back and forth a few paces along the shore line: what if he never shows up? what if after this date he decides he doesn’t really like me that way? what if he dies trying to meet me here?

“y/n!”

you hear a loud voice call for you from behind, turning to look over your shoulder at the source. and there he was: standing a few feet away at the top of the concrete steps leading to the beach, out of breath and a little sweaty, with a smile you thought burned you brighter than the hot summer sun ever could. sumin— your sumin.

you smile back and raise your hand to wave at him. he bolts towards you, skipping the last few steps of the stairs and stumbling from the unstable grounding of the sand before barreling towards you without any signs of slowing down. you giggle and brace yourself for impact before he reaches you, his arms coming out to wrap around your waist and lifting you up. he stumbles forward into the water, splashing some of it up onto you both, but neither of you can really bring yourselves to care all that much.

he shakes you around a bit before he sets you down, staring at you with a love sick smile as you giggle and fix your now messed up hair. “sorry i’m late.”

you shake your head at him. “you’re not late, i was just early.”

he pouts and affectionately squeezes your cheek between his pointer and thumb. “if i ever make you wait then that means i was late.” you scoff and roll your eyes at him but the sparkle in your eye never leaves. “now c’mon. we have a date to attend to.” he leans his face down close to yours, and you close your eyes and scrunch up your nose in surprise before his hot breath hits your cheek and his teeth sink into the warm skin on your face.

you blink in surprise at him as he pulls away with a teasing grin before it registers in your head what he had just done, your brows furrowing and your plump lips morphing into a pout. you had taken a deep breath in preparation to complain but before any words could be let out, he leaned down one more time to press a quick kiss to your cheek, clasping your hand in his and turning to walk towards one of the little food stands someone had set up along the coast. he stuck his tongue out at you through his teeth as if to say ‘gotcha’, but you couldn’t stop your own happy smile from forming on your face, your cheeks warming up from something other than the sun this time.

the feeling of his hand in yours feels different now than it did when you first took his hand on that playground all those years ago, but just like back then, it still feels like you’re holding something precious.

— !

sumin was currently at practice with the rest of his team members, but you missed him, so you were in his bed doom-scrolling on your phone while you waited for him to finish up with practice so you could surprise him. you check how much longer until sumin said he should be back: 30 minutes. you heave a loud sigh into the otherwise quiet room and drop your phone on the bed before closing your eyes and burying your face in his pillow, letting the scent of sumin’s cologne engulf you.

you’re not sure how long you lay like that, but pretty soon the sound of the door swinging open makes you lift your head from the fabric, looking over to the culprit. in the door frame stands an exhausted sumin, his movements sluggish and heavy. he looks up to find you tucked into his bed, his eyes lighting up when he catches sight of you, the view immediately filling him with new energy.

“baby!” he exclaims, dropping his bag on the floor unceremoniously before launching himself into your arms. you laugh at how he went from zero to one hundred in seemingly a split second as he wraps his arms around you and nuzzles into your neck. your arms come up to rest around his shoulders as your hand tangles into his soft hair. “missed you.” he mumbles out into your skin before pressing a kiss onto your neck, then your jaw, then your cheek, before your entire face has been touched by his lips. you giggle at the vibration of his words against your neck before the source of your laughs turn into the feeling of his lips on you, your hand on his back soothingly rubbing back and forth on his shoulder blades.

he pulls back to look into your eyes with a lovesick smile on his face, but you’re sure you look the same as you gaze into his eyes as well. his hand comes up to cup your cheek, the pad of his thumb rubbing back and forth on your cheek. “tough practice?” you ask, but you already know the answer.

“you have no idea.” sumin replies, the tension in his shoulders relaxing as he huffs out a laugh before he takes your hand in his and brings it up to his mouth. already sensing what was happening, you rip your hand out of his grip with a knowing smile. the action only makes sumin laugh before he leans in to gently bite your jaw. you let out a small noise of protest and gently push and smack at his shoulders, but there’s not any force behind it. you break out into giggles as he bites your jaw again before moving down to hook his teeth into your shoulder.

it sends a shudder up your spine as a breathy, nearly inaudible sigh leaves your lips, the action not going unnoticed by sumin. you feel him grin against your skin before pressing a soft kiss to it, the air in the room suddenly growing thick with tension. “what’s wrong baby?” he teases, his hands sliding down your body before his fingers stop to press into the softness of your waist. he sinks his teeth into your shoulder again, keeping his mouth there for longer this time as he sucks a dark spot into the skin. he licks the bruise lightly to soothe it before moving across to your collarbone to bite into that too.

you let him move his teeth across your skin, dark purple and red spots blooming all across your neck, shoulders, and chest. you can hear and feel him groan into your skin at the taste of your skin on his tongue, your chest heaving with every heavy breath you take. you arch your chest into him as you tilt your head back at the attention he’s giving you before you start to gain some clarity and push against his chest to get him to stop.

“w-wait, what about yechan? he could walk in here at any minute.” he pulls back far enough to look at your face, but close enough to keep you in his arms. you looked like a mess: your hair was disheveled, you were still panting from his ministrations, and you were littered with marks and a thin sheen of spit from sumin’s tongue practically everywhere, but sumin still thought you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. despite your distress, sumin seems unbothered at the mention of his roommate, a smirk making its way onto his face, as if he knew something that you didn’t.

“he decided to stay behind to practice a bit more.” he leans into your face, his lips brushing against yours as he spoke. “so we have more than enough time.” he whispers lowly before kissing your lips softly. “to do whatever,” kiss. “we,” kiss. “want,” he takes your lips in his as you let out a weak whine into his mouth before melting into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer.

maybe this habit of his wasn’t so bad after all.

[polarkook]

COULD THIS BE OUT OF LINE ── N.KD

pairing na kamden x fem reader

warnings alpha/omega dynamics, childhood friends au, for plot purposes reader is from seattle, slight moments of miscommunication, alpha!kamden, omega!reader, idol!kamden, late presenting (reader), scents, mating cycles, accidental rut, big dick kamden, biting, no foreplay unless you count wrestling as foreplay, unprotected sex, knotting, breeding kink, size!!! difference!!!

word count 7.4k words (7,415)

taglist @lijeons @somedaykyrell @tmrwsuns @http-peachie @kpxpseoul @yiisfreaky @et-unum @nyangttyu @xkamheex apply here!

bun’s notes this fic is for hope who terrorized me with this thought for a week so i would start writing it <3 and i do apologize for taking so long to finish it lol | got carried away yapping .. this was supposed to be a short drabble but here we are 7k words later | mdni banner by @/cafekitsune

▶︎ lıllılı.ıllı.ılılıı 🎧🎶 so contagious — acceptance.

Na Kamden was in over his head. 

He was so excited to see you after such a long time that he didn’t stop to think about the consequences. 

The last time Kamden had seen you was in the airport, reluctantly sending him off to begin his training in Seoul to become an idol. His group had just finished their tour, and it had been about five years since Kamden had seen you in person, so he jumped at the chance to have a visit with you after the pop-up event in Los Angeles. He managed to get permission from the company to travel back to Seoul separately from the rest of the members, instead taking the next flight back to Seattle. He was only supposed to visit for a short period of time, say hello to all of you guys’ friends from high school, and go back in time to get in a few final dance practices for their upcoming comeback. That was all. 

But he can’t help but think he was going to be here longer than he intended. 

When Kamden saw you last, you were eighteen years old. He had just turned nineteen, a few months older than you, and he had a certain aura about him. He’d presented earlier that year as an alpha, though you paid it no mind, and he carried himself much more confidently than he once did. You, on the other hand, still hadn’t presented yet. Which ended up being both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because you couldn’t smell his annoyingly strong scent, with him unable to control his scent when newly presented, and you were practically immune to his alpha charm. A curse because, well, as an alpha, Kamden had started getting a bit more attention. More than he already did. He was attractive, smart, and an alpha? He had omegas, male and female alike, throwing themselves at him. And you? You were in their way, though you knew that Kamden couldn’t possibly see you in that light. 

You’d both been friends since you were kids, grew up wrestling one another to play when you were bored, went to each other to talk about crushes — surely, Kamden must have seen you as a sister rather than a potential partner. In the end, you were simply Kamden’s friend. Kamden’s unpresented friend that had to play the part of being totally uninterested in him. Though you knew the truth, that you were completely, utterly, irrevocably, stupidly in love with him. You were in love with him. With Na Kamden, not his alpha, but himself. The dorky, awkward, silly him. Being unable to smell his scent like the others meant being able to create a meaningful bond outside of your societal roles, but it also meant being shoved into a totally platonic role. Always the best friend. The sidekick. Besides, there was also a chance that you wouldn’t even present as an omega. And if you did, there was still the chance of Kamden ending your friendship out of respect for his future mate, not wanting to be too close with another omega. But until then, you remained in the close best friend position. 

Which is how you ended up in the airport five years ago, sending Kamden off to Korea with high emotions. Tears welled up in your eyes as you held your arms open, inviting him for a hug. His lips are turned down into a pout, and he leans into your hold, putting his full body weight on you. You stumbled a little bit — he had begun to gain a little height and weight after presenting, growing into his alpha stature — but you held him tight. Instinctively, you shoved your nose in the crook of his neck, right where his scent gland should be and inhaled. You couldn’t smell much, but for some reason, you felt like you could smell him now a bit more than you could yesterday. Kamden nuzzled against you, mirroring your actions, trying to catch your scent, but he sighed in disappointment when there was nothing. It was as if he wanted to check one last time, as if he were going to savor your scent during his training period, but there was none. 

As if it were some twisted joke, you presented two days after Kamden left. Two days. It only took two days of him being gone for you to present as an omega. And suddenly, all of those times you snuggled closer to Kamden to share his body heat when you suddenly felt cold and began to shiver out of nowhere made a lot more sense. 

You hadn’t seen each other in person since then, though you regularly spoke on the phone. So, naturally, Kamden jumped at the opportunity to see you again. Somehow, though, it slipped your mind to tell him about being an omega. What could possibly go wrong by not telling your alpha friend that you were an omega? 

Neither of you had expected it to go like this. 

Kamden showed up when you were in the midst of tidying up your apartment, making sure that it was presentable enough for your longtime friend, though he had seen your bedroom at your childhood home in its worst state. It was different now. Back then, you were both teenagers with no responsibilities. But now, you were both adults with responsibilities and you wanted to look put together, and quite frankly, your omega would be very unhappy if you were inviting an alpha into your space and it wasn’t presentable. You were so busy cleaning up, making sure everything was clean and pristine, that you completely forgot about scent blocking. The scent neutralizing and blocking perfume and candles sat in the corner, untouched, forgotten about. Then Kamden was at your front door and you were leading him to your sofa in an instant.

“Do you want anything to drink?” You asked. “I have water, tea, a couple sodas, some beer?” 

Kamden shakes his head. “I don’t really drink alcohol. I’m okay. No drink for me.” 

Nodding, you make your way to sit on the sofa alongside Kamden, a comfortable distance away. Not too close, not too far. Despite him being your best friend, you still felt a little awkward due to the time spent apart. You anxiously rub your hands on your pants — ironically, a pair that you had bought while on a shopping trip with Kamden all those years ago.  When you look over, you see Kamden caressing his elbow, and you smile. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe things hadn’t changed as much as you thought. 

You quickly settle into comfortable chatter with Kamden, asking him how he’s been the past five years, how he’s liking his career choice, if there’s anything new in his life he hadn’t told you yet, and he directed those questions back to you as well. But somehow, some way, it continued to slip your mind to tell him about your presentation after he left. “It’s a little tiring, you know — I’m always busy. My life is just practice, sleep, practice some more, perform, sneak in a quick nap before we meet with fans, squeeze in a quick meal, rinse and repeat.” You hum, nodding along and resisting the urge to reach out and mindlessly twirl his hair around your finger like you used to when you were younger and his hair got shaggy in between haircuts. “I wouldn’t trade it for anything, though. How about you?”

“Me?” Kamden nods. “Nothing as exciting as your job. I just work a desk job now, making ends meet and trying to pay back my student loans. My life is just work, sleep, and more and more mind-numbing work. I still try to hang out with our friends sometimes, though, if we can all work it into our schedules. They all ask about you, by the way.”

“Really?” He can’t hide the excitement in his voice. Perhaps, all of this time away has him thinking about his high school friends, wondering if they ever think of him too, and now that you have confirmed they do, he can finally relax a little. “How are they? Has anyone chosen their mate yet?” 

You nearly jump in excitement, and scoot closer to him. Kamden can smell the faint scent of a spiced vanilla, but he brushes it off. Maybe it’s your shampoo or something. “You’ll never guess who marked each other as mates.”

“Who?” 

Kamden tenses as you get closer to him, squealing and excitedly gushing about your two friends claiming each other as mates. They had a friendship quite similar to the one you had, so his jaw drops and his eyes widen as you tell him all about it. He doesn’t miss the way the spiced vanilla scent gets stronger the closer you get to him, the more excited you get. In fact, he can’t miss it. It all but floods his senses and he can feel his stomach churning and he can’t focus on anything you’re saying. 

He tries to ignore it, tries to focus his attention on your words, but he just can’t. You keep getting closer to him and the scent gets stronger. You think about something new that makes you excited to fill him in on and the scent gets stronger. He begins to feel lightheaded. You get so close that he can feel your body heat and the scent gets impossibly stronger, and every time he takes a breath he feels a new sensation in his body. What is this new fragrance? And why is it making him feel like this? 

“You smell different.” 

You’re taken aback by his sudden statement. His voice sounded rather harsh, loud and raspy. It makes you flinch. “I-I don’t know why…I’m not,” A lump begins to form in your throat. “I still use the same shampoo and conditioner as before. And I’m not wearing any perfume or scent blockers right now so I don’t—.”

Oh. 

That’s your scent. 

Kamden takes a deep breath and immediately regrets it. The deeper the breath he took, the more he inhaled your scent, and the more he could feel it affecting him. The fuzzy feeling in his head, his stomach twisting up in knots, his body temperature rising. It had all suddenly begun to get overwhelming. All at once. He didn’t need to hear you say it. He knew. “You’re an omega.” 

You swallow the lump in your throat. You take a deep breath and nod. If you focused, you could smell traces of an oak wood scent. “Yes,” A deep sigh. “I, um — shortly after you left…I presented. As an omega….I meant to tell you, but I guess — I guess it just slipped my mind.” 

The woody scent gets a little stronger. 

“You don’t have a mate, do you?” You shake your head. 

The scent gets stronger. 

“A heat partner?” No. 

And stronger. 

Kamden begins to shift. It starts small — his leg bouncing, wrapping his arms around himself to rub at the skin of his elbow, which is a habit he’s had since you were kids. But it quickly turns into something different. He begins to twist his body, turning away from you, refusing to look you in the eye. The scent of oak wood, which you figured was his scent, fluctuates. It spikes and then it pulls back. You try to get closer, but he moves away. The scent fluctuates again. 

You can’t help but get a sinking feeling in your chest. “Did I do something wrong?” No answer, just Kamden trying to level his breathing while simultaneously seeming like he’s holding his breath. “Are you mad at me?” In all of the years you’d known Kamden, he never acted like this. Even when he first began to show signs of presenting, his mood swings were never this bad. One second he was fine, engaging you in conversation and catching up about your old friends that he hadn’t seen in a while. The next? Well, he was acting strange. There’s no other way to put it except to say that it’s strange. Here he is, your best friend, and he’s acting as if he’s uncomfortable around you all of a sudden. He’s still looking away from you, anxiously rubbing the palms of his hands on his pants, and trying not to inhale too deeply so he doesn’t inhale your scent. 

Did you smell bad? Or, oh, god, does he already have a mate? Is he mad that you’re an omega and you lied by omission? Even though it wasn’t on purpose, if he already had a mate, or if he was someone else’s heat partner, you could understand why he is upset with you. No alpha in their right mind would want to be around an unmated omega if they were already betrothed to another. Maybe that’s why his mood suddenly shifted and he was asking about your mating status. But, somewhere in the back of your mind, you can’t help but wonder if he was truly upset. If he was, why does the woody fragrance smell just so inviting? Shouldn’t it smell unappealing to you? 

You try to reach a hand out. To comfort him. To just touch him. The two of you had always been affectionate friends, nuzzling into the place where your scent glands should be, holding hands or laying with one another, or sharing his clothes even after he presented up until the day he left. “Kam, I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—.”

“Don’t touch me!” He barks. The sudden volume and bass in his voice causes you to flinch, again, and jerk your hand away as if he burned you. Kamden could smell your scent sour slightly in fear and he winces. He didn’t mean to scare you. But he’s afraid of losing control of himself. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You weren’t supposed to be an omega, and even if you were, he wasn’t supposed to be able to smell you like this. When he became a trainee, they put him on supplements for this very reason. So that he, as an alpha, didn’t get a whiff of a delicious omega scent and become feral. However, being on tour for a month straight, he’d let a few doses slip past him. Between the busy schedule of practicing and performing late into the night and traveling early the next morning, his once steady schedule of taking these supplements had fallen behind. And he’s really starting to regret it. 

At first, the cloudy feeling in his head and the heat in his lower abdomen confused him. He can’t remember the last time he felt these sensations at once — probably when he first began to present, his hormones being uncontrollable when he was going through his second puberty. Back then, he’d been able to fake being sick and isolate himself for a week. But running away and faking illness now would only make you worry for him. And the tightness in his pants is slowly starting to become unbearable. He’s caught between two difficult choices; to stay here and suffer smelling your scent when he feels like he’s dangerously close to popping a knot on his pants like some horny teenager, or to leave right now and risk upsetting you. He feels like both options would change the trajectory of your friendship and he’s not sure there would ever be a way back from either of them. 

Ultimately, he decided that he needed to get out of there. 

He abruptly stands up but he can’t move. Suddenly his feet felt heavy. As if they were bolted to the floor. He doesn’t know why he can’t move — why his feet won’t budge. He needs to leave before he does something the both of you will regret. 

“Where are you going? You just got here.” Kamden doesn’t respond. He doesn’t look at you. Tears well up in your eyes and your scent sours more, becomes bitter. “You’re mad at me.” 

“I’m not!” He sighs. “I’m not mad at you. I just need to leave.” 

Finally, he wills his feet to move. He takes one step before he feels you grabbing him. Your hands wrap around his wrist and you’re trying to pull him back to you, almost selfishly, because you didn’t want him to leave. He just got here! Kamden still doesn’t look at you, but you’re looking at him. Looking for any sign of something. You don’t know what. Part of you is afraid that if he does look at you, you’ll see contempt in his eyes. Like you disgraced him by not telling him you were an omega. You knew that if he looked at you, he’d see something else in your eyes. Tears, mostly. Fear from being afraid of losing him. Silently begging him to stay, apologies, promises that if he stayed you’ll go put scent blockers on right now. But deep down, you felt something else. There’s an uncomfortable stirring in your lower abdomen. One that you can’t exactly explain. One that, weirdly, you feel only Kamden could solve. 

“Why?”

He squeezes his eyes shut. “I don’t want to hurt you.” 

You blink. “Hurt me? Why would you hurt me? You won’t hurt me. Please, sit back down. We can talk about this.” 

Kamden tears his hand away from you. Your hands stay frozen, suspended in the air from where they were holding him. There’s a tingling feeling in your fingertips. His wrist feels like it’s on fire. 

He turns to leave again and you jump up, bolting in front of him to try to stop him with your body. It was ridiculous; he was much bigger than you, stronger, and could easily push you out of his way if he really wanted to leave. But you knew that he wouldn’t. He would never carelessly push you to the side. He’s still avoiding your gaze, even as you try to defiantly make eye contact with him, so you take this time to look him over. It had been five years. His body had changed. Gotten bigger. More…alpha. You trail your eyes down from his handsome face to his neck, unmarked and inviting, though you shouldn’t say that because he is — was? — your best friend, to his slightly more defined chest. His shoulders were wider, too, arms a bit bigger. You couldn’t tell if that was due to him working out or if it was from growing into his alpha stature. Then you let your eyes travel lower, naughtily, all the way down his torso. Truthfully, you just wanted to innocently check him out (could it be so innocent?). You weren’t looking for anything specific. But then you see it and it feels like everything makes sense now. Why he was so urgently trying to get out. 

“Oh my god,” you blurted. “Are you fucking hard?!” 

Kamden immediately tries to cover his, now very obvious, bulge in his pants. Instead, he minorly miscalculated the pressure and ended up squeezing instead of covering. He makes a noise, one in between a moan and a growl rumbling in his chest. His scent spikes again, triggering yours to release pheromones in response. Suddenly, the push-and-pull scent spikes and his eagerness to not touch one another and leave makes sense. He was horny. You can’t help but feel a sense of pride — your scent did this to him. You did this to him. 

He tries to go around you, but you step in front of him again. And again. And again. It became a battle, almost, blocking his way every time he tried to move around you. Kamden was beginning to get frustrated. The tightness in his pants was uncomfortable. He’s so painfully hard that he feels like he’s throbbing. And the more he breathes in your scent, the less he thinks he can control himself. He doesn’t want to make a mistake. He doesn’t want to change your friendship so drastically just because his alpha is trying to do the thinking for him. 

In a last ditch attempt, Kamden tries to gently push you to the side so he can leave. His skin immediately feels like it’s on fire from where he touches you and he immediately retracts his hand. But when he tries to step past you again, you grab his arm and pull. Despite the fact that Kamden is much stronger than you physically, the force of which you pulled him with managed to knock him off balance. The two of you took a tumble; luckily you were still close to the sofa, so you fell onto the cushions before sliding to the floor. You ended up on top of Kamden, trying to pin him down and get him to talk to you, to stay, to do something other than run away from you. There was a struggle as he attempted to push you off of him so he could crawl away on his hands and knees. You grab his ankle and try to pull him back. 

“Please, Kamden, talk to me.” I miss you, you wanted to say. Miss you, need you, want you. Don’t run away from me now. 

The amount of strength you gathered to wrestle Kamden into staying surprised you. But it still wasn’t enough, because just a moment later, you were the one lying on your back, struggling in his grasp as he hovers over you. He grips your wrists and pins them to the floor beside your head.  Your eyes widen and your jaw hangs open. As you look at Kamden, you can see that there’s an unfamiliar look in his eyes. Something dark, but not scary or evil. He still looked like himself, just with a new, dark, wild look in his eyes, though weirdly, you thought that it still looked soft and caring at the same time. A low growl rumbles in his chest again and he bares his teeth. Typically, growling and baring teeth would intimidate you, make you feel small and want to run, but this? This is different. This is Kamden. Your best friend. And even though he has a complete advantage over you, having you pinned beneath him, realistically unable to fight with physical strength alone, you aren’t scared. He would never hurt you. In fact, you’re actually incredibly turned on. You know that your scent must be spiking so much right now. 

The two of you were, quite frankly, in an uncomfortable position. Your legs were tangled awkwardly with one another’s and he was supporting his weight only on his toes and his hands on your wrist, which was beginning to get a little painful. You’re not sure how long you stayed like that, staring intently into each others eyes, but it feels like forever. Then Kamden changes the way he’s positioned and it set your body alight. 

He moves to where he was between your legs now, both of yours on either side of his. And if that wasn’t enough, he rests on his knees and lowers his hips, accidentally rocking his hips forward into yours. You can feel his thick bulge pressing against you but it’s gone as soon as it was there. Still, though, it has the both of you reacting. Kamden couldn’t help but let out a moan and it triggered your scent glands to release pheromones in order to entice him. You wanted to lock your ankles behind his back and pull him forward to grind against you, get him to let out more of those lustful noises, have him nuzzle his face into your neck to inhale your scent as the both of you come. 

“Fuck,” he whispers. He squeezes his eyes shut, the sight of you beneath him, looking up at him with a look that he’s sure mirrored his own, was beginning to get to be too much. He could feel himself slipping away, his sound mind starting to fade to the back and his alpha beginning to stalk forward. 

“Please, Kamden,” you whisper back. Afraid that if you spoke much louder that it would shatter the bubble around the two of you, the tense atmosphere, and he’d run away. 

He turns his head away. “I-I can’t. I don’t…” he sighs. “I don’t want to hurt you. You-You’re too important to me, and I don’t think I could—”

“You won’t hurt me. I’m sure of it, Kamden. You won’t…I trust you. More than anything.” 

He can feel his resolve slipping further and further away. The muscles in his arms are beginning to feel stiff from holding himself above you for so long and he’s not sure how much longer he can hold out if you’re practically begging him to rip your clothes off and fuck you. To claim you as his mate. He needs to make a decision, and he needs to make it fast. “God, what are you doing to me?” 

It was quiet. So low and quiet that you aren’t sure you actually heard him say that until he opens his eyes and the two of you make eye contact. There’s a fierce look in his eyes and almost as soon as you register it as need, he all but pounces on you. 

Electricity buzzes from your toes to your fingertips, all the way up to your mind, making it fuzzy, as Kamden lowers himself. He lets go of your wrists and rests on his forearms now, hips and heavy bulge getting dangerously close to where you want him — and he wants to be — the most. You rock your hips up against him one, two times before he pulls back. You begin to get worried that you did something wrong again. 

“Are you sure?” He asks one last time. Gives you one more chance to back out. But you didn’t want to back out. “Because if I start, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to stop.” 

You look at him and tell him firmly, “I don’t want you to stop. I want you to fuck me, Kamden. Alpha.” 

A shiver runs down his spine, making goosebumps appear on his skin and his cock twitch. He leans back, sitting on his knees to unbutton his pants and try to shuffle them down his thighs. You watch him closely, eyes trained on his fingers working. He has nice hands, and you can’t help but think that if the circumstances were different you’d like to feel them inside you. But, much like him, you were too horny and impatient for any of that right now. Only, you weren’t aware just how horny he was. And quite frankly, neither was he aware that he was so close to losing himself. He finally pushes his pants and boxers down and you watch as his cock springs free. It’s thick, heavy, bobbing from suddenly being freed of its confinements and it’s leaking. He was dripping precome, and if you had more time, you’d wonder how he tastes. Or how he feels on your tongue, if your jaw could even open wide enough for him. 

He hisses as you reach out to touch him, hips jerking at the pressure before he pushes your hands away. His fingers slip under the waistband of your shorts, pulling them and your underwear down at the same time. The fabric peels away, leaving a mess of slick all over your pussy and inner thighs. Kamden isn’t sure he’s seen anything so beautiful, so erotic. And with the fabric out of the way, he can smell your scent the strongest from your core. He continues to drag your bottoms down, rather calmly for how close he was to losing his mind. You help him get them off by lifting your hips and legs so he can pull them off and throw them to the side. 

Kamden spreads your folds and stares in awe at the slick leaking out of you. He uses two fingers to gather some, watching as it thickly coats his fingertips. He has half a mind to put his fingers in his mouth, to taste your slick and see if it tastes as good as you smell, but he refrains. Instead, he spreads your slick arousal along his aching length and loosely pumps his fist a few times. The light friction already has his mind reeling; he’s so worked up that he feels so sensitive and reactive, and he’s not entirely sure if he’ll even last long once he finally does fuck you. But that’s neither here nor there, because if he doesn’t do something now, he feels like he might burst at the seams. He puts both of his hands on your legs, pulling you closer and angling your hips so he can have easier access. The sudden movement and strength he used made your heart race (and more arousal to pool out of you.) 

He lets go of one leg and you immediately replace his hands with yours, pulling your knees up closer to your chest. You subconsciously hold your breath as he takes hold of his cock, guiding the tip up and down your slit. It takes everything in you not to rush him every time it catches at your hole, wanting nothing more than for him to push his way inside. Finally, though, Kamden seems to have had enough of his own teasing and begins to properly line himself up. He has to take a few deep breaths to hype himself up to do it. To finally push his cock inside you. 

The feeling is overwhelming. He watches closely as he breaches your entrance. His cockhead is thick, stretching your hole so wide that he can’t help but be amazed. The stretch of Kamden’s dick is unfamiliar to you, but not unwelcome, though it almost feels like it’s too much. It’s thick, heavy, big and you feel like it’s going to split you in half. You let out soft whines as he slowly presses into you, trying to remain relaxed so the slide is easier. 

“Fuck,” he rasps. “So fucking tight.” 

Your pussy is squeezing around him so tightly that he finds it a little hard to move. Had you never fucked your pussy open during your heats before? Was he the first? Or is it just that you’ve never had something this big inside you? Either way, Kamden feels himself slipping away from the front of his mind, his alpha desperate to be the first to ruin you, to breed your omega, to mold your insides to his shape. 

When his cock is fully sheathed inside you, Kamden stops. He notices the way your breathing is labored and wants to give you a moment to adjust to the feeling of being so full. So stretched. You drop your hands, now clawing at the floor beneath you, unable to get a good grip to ground yourself, the sensation being profound and mind-blowing. Your best friend, of all people, was hovering above you with his large alpha cock so deeply in your tight omega cunt. But still, somehow, it wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward for you right now. All you could think about was how it feels like you were made to take his dick with how perfectly it fits inside you. 

He leans down on his forearms and nuzzles into your neck. Inhaling, pressing his nose directly to the place where your scent gland is, familiarizing himself with your scent. It’s a bit sweeter now than it was earlier, more vanilla forward, enticing Kamden more than he already had been. He loves the scent of vanilla, and he feels it’s only fitting that you of all people had that natural scent. Your scent is intoxicating and he can’t help but rock his hips against you. Small, insignificant movements that grind his cock ever so slightly against your spongy walls. Your hands fly up to grasp his shoulders, nails lightly digging in through the fabric of his shirt that he still hadn’t taken off. 

“Keep-Keep doing that,” you whine. “More.” 

He ruts his hips into you again, this time with more purpose. Each and every time he moves, he stimulates a new part inside of you that you didn’t even know could feel this way. Your body is burning from the inside out, the feeling of being filled to the brim already beginning to get overwhelming. Kamden isn’t much better — he’s never been squeezed so tightly before, feeling like he can barely move. It’s such a tight fit that he’s not sure if—. No, he can’t think about that right now. The thought makes his cock twitch, which elicits a moan from you. 

The first real thrust feels like it punches the air out of you. Kamden changes his angle, propping himself up in a more comfortable way (though how comfortable can you really be after a while on the floor?) and he finally moves his hips. More than just subtle grinding. He pulls out until just the tip is all that’s left and pushes all the way into you at once. It knocks the air out of your lungs, leaving you gasping and squirming beneath him. He sets a slow and steady rhythm of thrusting all the way to the hilt and pulling out to just the tip. 

He grasps your legs again, pulling you impossibly closer and lifting your hips. The new angle shifts his length inside you, making him repeatedly rub against your sweet spot. He quickens his pace, the sound of skin slapping and lewd squelching from your slick getting louder as he does. Each sharp thrust jostles your body, and if it weren’t for the hold he has on your thighs, you’re sure you’d be sliding uncomfortably. But you’re not, because he’s got a tight grip on your thighs, holding them open and lightly digging his fingernails into them and leaving crescent-moon-shaped marks in their place. Almost as if he were afraid that if he were to let go even the slightest bit that you’d run away from him. Like he’s been waiting for so long to be able to have you like this. 

And unbeknownst to you, he has. For years, he yearned for you. Even when there were other omegas throwing themselves at him, he still held out hope that, maybe, even if you didn’t present as an omega, you’d still give him a chance. Now that he has the opportunity, he’s not letting it slip away from him. If that means that he has to hold you this tightly so that he knows it’s real and not one of his many dreams, then so be it. This may be the only time he gets to have you like this, so he’s not going to let it go to waste. 

Not that he has much of a choice, with his mind being clouded entirely by lust and instinct. You just smell so good, and your pussy is so warm and tight. Feels like it’s made for his cock. Though he’s not sure if you can handle his fat knot — not that he’s ever tried to knot someone before. He always managed to have good enough control over himself, but with you, he can feel that control slipping further and further away. All he wants to do is put you in the mating press and shove his cock so deeply inside you that you’re properly knotted and bred, maybe even sink his teeth into your neck to claim you as his mate. 

Kamden gets so lost in his thoughts that he hasn’t realized that he had moved his hands and begun to press your knees closer to your chest. The angle lifts your hips even further, giving him access to get deeper inside you. He’s so deep that it feels like his tip is breaching your womb. Your back arches at the feeling, head rolling back and exposing your neck. The vanilla scent feels like it gets much stronger, and Kamden can’t help but lean down, nuzzling into your neck yet again. This position pushes your legs even further apart, almost uncomfortably so. He lets go of the backs of your knees, propping himself up on his palms, and you let your legs slide down his torso and rest on his hips. 

His thrusts get a bit sloppy, losing their rhythm, beginning to pathetically rut into you at a quicker pace. It gets harder for him to move as his knot begins to swell up at the base of his cock, trying to lock him in place inside you. Neither of you realize just how close he is to finishing until he’s there. His knot swells and stretches your cunt around him until it couldn’t anymore, keeping him inside. He still tries to rock his hips, although it’s rather difficult, and his fat knot constantly rubbing against your sweet spot has you clenching around him even tighter. You’ve never felt so full before, he’s never been squeezed so tightly, but somehow it feels perfect. 

With him being stuck, for lack of better words, inside you, he couldn’t help but come just as deeply. You feel his warm release flooding your insides, his knot pulsing as he pumps you full of his cum. The feeling triggers your own release, muscles spasming and contracting around him, which in turn milks him dry. He shoves his face deeper into your neck, taking in the way your scent smells. It’s intoxicating. His teeth ache to sink into your skin and claim you as his mate, to leave his mark so that everyone knows you’re his, even when he’s far away. But there’s something deep inside him holding him back, despite feeling like he’s no longer in control of his body. So he settles for grazing his teeth on your skin. 

He nips and scrapes his sharp teeth against your neck, enough to have your mind reeling, but not enough to bite down and claim you. You whimper and whine, baring your neck for him, silently begging him to do it. But he won’t. Not yet. Kamden loves you, he does, and he wants you as his mate, but he would like to do it properly and not in a lust-induced haze. Not when he’s two seconds away from losing himself entirely to his alpha, which isn’t saying much because he’s about ninety-eight percent there and has been for a while. If he were of sound mind and thinking logically, Kamden wouldn’t be in this position with you like this — if his mind wasn’t clouded, he wouldn’t be knotting his best friend on her living room floor and fighting his instinct to leave his bite mark on her neck, but here he is, doing exactly that. All because he hadn’t been taking his supplements like he should, you forgot your scent blockers and you smell oh so good.

It’s been a while since Kamden has popped a knot, so he severely underestimates how long it takes for it to go down enough to be able to pull out. When he shifts to a more comfortable position and his hips move, it pushes his knot further into your cunt. He’s so deep it feels like he’s centimeters away from breaching your womb with the tip of his cock. The two of you are connected at the center most part of your bodies and if it weren’t for your shirts, you’d be pressing bare skin to skin from your head to your toes. 

He’s still pushing his face into your scent gland, inhaling so much of your natural scent that it feels intoxicating. He feels hypnotized by the way it draws him in — just how ironic is it that his best friend of all people is an omega and smells like his favorite scent? Growing up, he always mentioned how much he liked the vanilla smell of your favorite ice cream shops and bakeries, and here you are with that being your natural scent. Only a bit spicier. It’s unique, Kamden thinks, and it suits you. It draws him in. It led him to where he is now, fully sheathed inside you and being milked of all his come from your tight pussy squeezing around him. He can’t move, and honestly, he’s not sure he even wants to. 

Even as his knot begins to go down and his painfully hard cock starts to soften, he doesn’t want to pull out. He would stay inside you forever if it meant getting to have you. Part of him worries that once he pulls out, it’ll all be over and you’ll never want to acknowledge this again. But another part, the more feral and prominent part of him just doesn’t want to pull out of your hole that just sucked him in so well. Welcomed him like it was meant to be there. He wanted to stay connected like this as long as possible.

He huffs and tries to push his hips further into you, but had no luck because he was already buried to the hilt. Skin to skin, pelvic bones touching. There’s no way he could get any deeper, but he still tries, and it causes the both of you to cry out. 

“No more,” you whine, voice a little hoarse from before. “Sensitive.”

Kamden doesn’t respond. Not verbally, at least. Instead, he shoves his hands under your back and leans back, pulling you to sit on his lap as sits up on his knees. The sudden movement caused you to squeal and wrap your arms around his broad shoulders for support. This angle, despite already being as deep inside you as he possibly could, shifts him in a way that rubs against you just right. His half-hard cock twitches in interest as you whimper and clench around him, but you shake your head and nuzzle into his neck. 

You try to lift off of him, but your legs are so shaky that you couldn’t even hold your own body weight up. He uses his grip around you to gently lift you up and you both sigh at the feeling. His dick falls limply against his thigh as he pulls out and a disgusting glob of cum drips out of your quivering hole. You all but collapse against him in exhaustion. Much like he had been earlier, you shove your nose directly against the scent gland in his neck, inhaling. Because finally, finally, you could really smell it. It’s strong, woody and earthy, and you can’t help but think that it mixes perfectly with yours as the two of you embrace like this. 

He grunts and moves you around yet again. Only this time to maneuver the both of you to lie on the sofa rather than remain kneeling on the hard floor. Even in this dazed state, he could feel the ache in his knees from this position and he could only imagine your back felt the same from laying there for god knows how long. 

The two of you lie there in silence for a while, catching your breath and basking in the moment you’d both been longing for for a while without the other knowing. But the silence doesn’t last long, because once you feel Kamden’s dick twitching as it begins to erect you can’t help but laugh. Not mockingly, but somewhat in disbelief and humor. Lying there entangled with you after what you had just done, without even cleaning up, Kamden was getting hard again. 

“Again?” You asked, amused. “What, are you some dumb alpha in rut now? Losing your mind over your best friend being an omega?” 

A low growl vibrates your chest where it’s pressed to Kamden’s own and you gasp. You barely have time to react before he swiftly turns the two of you over, face pressed against the cushions of your sofa and hips up in the air. Your pretty pussy was still glistening with slick, almost as if it were enticing him, inviting him back in. His cock stands at attention now, eager to be squeezed by your perfect hole again. The thought makes your heart race. 

Somehow, you feel like you won’t be able to wiggle your way out of this one. Like he won’t be satisfied until he’s sure you’re properly mated and bred with his pups. Which, quite frankly, you wouldn’t mind. As long as it’s him. 

You’d do it all over again if it meant being with Kamden. 

[polarkook]

FMSOYS Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier Masterlist

my main masterlist

*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on this site to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. (that includes not allowing my manips to be used on TikTok, Instagram, Pinterest, etc.)

I have created an AO3 and am slowly beginning the process of sharing my old fics there as well. Tumblr and AO3 are currently the only places I'm posting my works.

PLEASE ONLY INTERACT WITH FICS MARKED 18+/SMUT IF YOUR AGE IS IN YOUR BIO/PINNED OR I WILL BLOCK YOU. Thanks!*

★ Series

Names (Series - Fluff, Angst)

Bucky | Barnes | Buck | Sarge | Jamie | Soldat | Love | James | Epilogue

Following Orders(Smut/18+, Steve x Reader x Bucky)

Part 1 | Part 2

The Lighthouse(Series - Unfinished)

PART 1

White Widow (Series - Fluff, Angst, Smut)

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8 | PART 9 (Smut)| PART 10 (Final)

★ One Shots

Pongo and Perdita(Fluff)

Cure(Smut/18+, Frank Castle x Reader x Bucky)

Pink Roses(Fluff)

Way Over Yonder(Smut/18+)

The Proposal (Fluff)

Why Are You In My Bed?(Fluff)

Sex with Bucky Drabble (SMUT/18+)

I Must Have Done Something Good (Angst, Fluff)

To the Stars and Back (Fluff)

★ Drabbles and Blurbs

General Bucky HCs

Bucky Overstimulating Reader (SMUT/18+)

★ Manips (DO NOT POST ANY OF THESE ON PINTEREST, TIKTOK, ETC!!!)

Brooklyn Boy

Stucky in the 40s

Stucky Now

Bucky Modeling

Morning View

Safe with Me

★ Moodboards

★ Bucky GIFs can be found on my other blog FMSOYS

[polarkook]

HI WELCOME TO K-FILMS !

➤ WHAT IS K-FILMS? ✧.* k-films is a network for people that write / create anything for kpop. for the tumblr creators, we promote works in hopes for it to reach much bigger audiences!

SO, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? come along our journey, recording and documenting beautiful memories together!

WANT TO JOIN? go ahead and sign up!

➤ NEED TO CONTACT US? ✧.* message either ADMINS @miumura ; @yeokii ; @weoris OR STAFFS @winterchimez ; @macapunoz ; @writingmeraki !

➤ NAVIGATION !

staff ! mems (1) mems (2) mems (3) ! guidelines !

[polarkook]

his side profile goes crazy

[polarkook]

santa doesn’t know you like i do

⋆⁺₊❅. pairing: choi sumin x f!reader

⋆⁺₊❅. word count: 5.32k

⋆⁺₊❅. content: MATURE CONTENT AHEAD!!!, fluff, little bit of humor at the end, swearing, mutual pining, best friends/roommates to lovers, they’re so down bad for each other it’s crazy, xikers cameo, minjae has an unnamed gf, now into the juicy stuff- kissing… lots and lots of kissing, marking i think?, food play (its just some whipped cream yall), vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex gulp pls stay safe and do what ur comfy with bffs, they just want to be close and cheesy and cute okay </3

synopsis: the three times you want to confess your feelings for your best friend, and the one time he beats you to it.

୨ৎ i actually wrote this fic last december and it was originally for sunwoo from the boyz, but i never posted it and i decided to rewrite it for sumin cause i love a good christmas/season themed fic ♡ if u enjoyed this pls don’t forget to like n reblog that helps me so much :3

The first time you think of confessing your feelings to Choi Sumin, is also the first time you realize you have them in the first place. 

November had finally camouflaged into December, snow beginning to stick to the ground outside. It’s your favorite time of the year and Sumin knows this. Why wouldn’t he? As your best friend it only made sense that he knew you like the back of his hand. He knew how you liked your coffee in the morning and that you preferred sleeping on the right side of the bed, among other things.

This is why he suggests decorating your apartment together. 

You have ‘How The Grinch Stole Christmas’ playing in the background as you stand on a step stool, hanging garland on the perimeter of your living room ceiling. Sumin has his hands on your waist, assuring that he doesn’t let you fall. As funny as it would be, he’s also a big softie and couldn’t imagine letting you get hurt. 

“How does it look?” You ask, tilting your head back to see if you can get a better view. 

“Good. Professional almost— woah, be careful.  Don’t lean too much.” He tightens his grip on you. 

“You’re such a dad.” You roll your eyes playfully. Sumin scoffs, but doesn’t retort back. You adjust your stance on the step ladder, going onto your tippy toes to reach one of the lights on the corner strand. 

He tries to ignore how your hips shift beneath his fingertips, how easy it would be to slip them under your sweatshirt. His eyes squeeze shut as he attempts to will away the forbidden thoughts threatening to plague his mind. He’s so preoccupied with wiping his brain, that he doesn’t even realize you’re wobbling a little. 

Everything happens so quickly; the step stool giving out from your feet, your body falling backward, his arms flying out to catch you with his life. Sumin had never been so good with hand-eye coordination, and he thinks he deserves an award with how valiant his rescue was. 

He holds you firmly, examining your face for any indication you might’ve been injured. Instead he’s met with wide eyes and parted lips, his cheeks blushing at the proximity between the two of you. This is the moment that it hits you— the moment that your heart registers that it beats for Choi Sumin. Your gaze traces the outline of his plush lips, so tempted to lean in and press your own to them. 

You open your mouth to say something, when suddenly he’s standing you upright and stepping away from you. He wipes his clammy palms on your shoulders, steadying both you and himself. He thinks this is the universe’s way of punishing him for his earlier thoughts. He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, laughing in the same manner. 

“Are you— um— are you okay?” Sumin fumbles over his words, eyes looking everywhere but at you. 

“‘M fine. Thanks for catching me.” You try your best to hide the disappointment in your tone. It’s not like he knew how you felt, so you couldn’t really blame him. Neither of you were at fault here. 

That didn’t mean you didn’t feel slightly discouraged though. If Sumin freaked out just by being so close to you, you couldn’t fathom how he’d react to hearing a confession. You clear your throat to, hopefully, cut through some of the tension in the air. 

“Should— should I order dinner?” Your fingers come up to tuck some hair behind your ear, anything to distract from the horrible atmosphere. You don’t like this one bit. 

“Uh… yeah! Yeah, that would be great. I’m okay with whatever you want.” He turns around and busies himself with the tree. You agreed on doing ornaments last, so he starts to slowly open up the branches. He hopes you can’t see the crimson shade spreading across the tips of his ears. 

“O-Okay… I’ll go do that then…” Your voice sounds far away from you. You avoid thinking about the pain blooming in the center of your chest, deep and sharp. You shouldn’t be upset. 

The second time you think of confessing your feelings to Sumin is halfway to Christmas. 

Your friend Minjae and his girlfriend invited the two of you to go look at the lights downtown. Out of your friend group, Minjae was the only one with a significant other. Because you and Sumin were so close, along with the fact that you were the only other girl, you were the best pairing option to join them. 

Going downtown to see the Christmas lights was something you looked forward to every year since you were little. It was a tradition you had with your family up until you got older. Then Sumin and yourself adopted it as your own. Thankfully there would be others around this time. You aren’t sure you could handle being alone with him without your heart giving out. Forget Valentine’s Day, Christmastime was truly the season of love. 

“I always love strolling around Han River and looking at the lights on the trees,” Minjae’s girlfriend says, nose resembling Rudolph’s due to the cold air. “I’m so glad that you like it too, Y/N!”

You smile at her and the way Minjae wraps her scarf just a bit more snugly as she talks. Their relationship was one you, dare you say, idolized. It’s not that they were the perfect couple, it’s that they loved each other so unconditionally. Minjae didn’t mind the teasing he got from the other boys for being ‘whipped’. They had a special connection that shined through even when they were just friends. It’s something you wished to experience yourself. 

The two walk a few feet ahead of you and Sumin, arms linked together. Part of you wanted to do the same with your best friend, to lean onto his shoulder and huddle closely for some semblance of warmth. Your hands sway side by side, just inches apart. If you extended your pinkie just slightly, it would touch his. Oh, how nice it would be to do such an intimate gesture.

You risk a sideways glance at Sumin, your heart skipping when you see how pretty he looks under the tree lights. The off-white bulbs reflect off of his cheeks and make his eyes sparkle, sending your emotions into a frenzy. 

The longer you walk next to him and the longer you gaze at him like a lovesick puppy, the more you realize how far into this infatuation you’ve gotten. What started as something small, triggered by something so menial, has grown exponentially. You’re honestly not sure that there was a chance of returning from this. 

When you put your friendship into perspective, you noticed a lot of red flags. For one, you did quite a few things that didn’t exactly scream platonic. Friends don’t cuddle during movie nights with all your other friends. Friends don’t think about each other in the forbidden ways you do at 2 AM. Friends don’t freak out over the potential end of said friendship.

It’s so painful. Standing here in the middle of December at Han River. You’ve long forgotten about your purpose for being here. Long forgotten about the pretty lights you’d been gushing about since you were a kid. All that matters to you is the boy in front of you. 

It hurts because of the uncertainty of what could come out of a confession. What if he hated you and wanted nothing to do with you? It was scary when you thought too hard about it. You’ve known Sumin through so many goods and bads, and shared many laughs. You know all of his favorite songs, and you’ve never missed a phone call. You want nothing more than to be the reason he smiles.

Santa, if you’re listening… Please make this Christmas one I won’t forget…

The next time you think of admitting your feelings for your best friend/roommate, is during your Friendsmas gathering on Christmas Eve. 

Usually, the event was held at Minjae’s house, since it was bigger. Him and his girlfriend loved hosting the circus that was your friend group. However, this year, you and Sumin volunteered your apartment for the festivities. It was your first year living together and you wanted it to be memorable. 

“The decorations are so cute!” Minjae’s girlfriend gushes, eyes wandering around the living room in awe at what you and Sumin managed to achieve. “The garland around the ceiling perimeter is such a nice touch. Did it take long?”

You think back to a couple weeks ago, when you were decorating. Things would’ve gone on without a hitch had you not fallen off the step ladder. You also wouldn’t be dealing with inner turmoil every time you looked at your roommate/best friend. You glance over at him, chatting it up with Minjae and Junmin, and your heart aches a little. “Not long at all…”

She purses her lips, taking your hand and dragging you off to the balcony. You give her a confused look, raising an eyebrow in question. She sighs, resting her arms on the railing and looking out into the parking lot. “You have feelings for him. Don’t you?”

You blink. 

It couldn’t have been that obvious right? I mean, you only just recently realized you were in love with liked him in that way. How could anyone already notice the signs or the lovelorn gloss in your stare? Your silence and lack of immediate reaction, however, gives away the truth, so you know that you can’t refute. 

“How did you know?” You ask, picking at a thread on your red sweater dress. Minjae’s girlfriend coos, like an older, wiser, sisterly figure who’s been waiting for the opportunity to bring out her life advice. 

“I’ve had a hunch for a while now,” she smiles softly. “But I think my suspicion stems from personal experience, mostly. Because I know when Minjae and I were ‘just friends’, we acted very similarly. And you were a bit quiet when we went to see the lights. I figured it had to be that, or you’d gotten into a fight, which seemed unlikely.”

“I don’t even know if he feels the same,” you nip at the inside of your lip. “There was an incident when we were decorating the apartment and we haven’t spoken about it since it happened. I think he’s pretending that it didn’t.”

“What happened?” She presses, now squared off to you. 

“I almost fell off the step stool and he caught me and it was really romantic and that’s when I realized that maybe I’ve been harboring feelings for him all this time but before I could even think about my next action, he pulled away.” You talk quickly, like you were on a time crunch. Minjae’s girlfriend follows along with your story as best she can, nodding every couple of words so you knew she understood what you were saying, despite the whole thing being one big run on sentence. 

“Oh wow,” she cringes. “In my humble opinion, I think he’s just… emotionally constipated. He’s… Sumin… you know? He’s not used to these kinds of things. Sometimes when we’re scared of something new, we seek comfortability. Maybe he’s afraid of the change.”

She had a very valid, very strong point. Choi Sumin had never boded well with change. For example; when he was a junior in high school, his Physics teacher had left halfway through the school year for family reasons and he failed the class even though he had an A before that. Luckily, you failed your Pre Calculus class, so both of you got to take summer school together. There was a real chance that Minjae’s girlfriend was on the right track. 

“I think you’re right,” you sigh, leaning back against the railing and watching the ten chaotic boys inside of your apartment. “I should wait for him to come to me.”

“You should, but,” she grins, like she knew something you didn’t. “That doesn’t mean I don’t plan on meddling just a little.”

Though ominous in her tone, you knew she meant no harm. So you’d let her do her thing, even if you were slightly unnerved. The two of you head back in to join everyone in the living room. You shoot Sumin a small smile from the opposite sofa, sandwiched between Yechan and Yujun. He mirrors your expression from his spot on the floor in front of Jinsik. 

The rest of the night goes smoothly. You play some games like Uno and a heated few rounds of Charades, the competition amongst your friends going crazy. All of you agreed on doing a Secret Santa exchange, since buying each member of your group a gift was pricey. (After all, you were twelve people deep.) Whether it was luck, or the universe loved to laugh at your expense, you drew Sumin’s name. There was a thirty dollar price limit on gifts, but you knew he’d wanted this oil paint set for a while. (The price could remain a secret to everyone else.) 

It was hilarious, really, that Sumin drew your name. 

The exchanging portion of the night was also uneventful. No one was that shocked to find out you and your best friend had gotten each other except for, well, you and your best friend. You didn’t open your gifts until your friends had all left, feeling like your personal biases were too strong to deny. 

You also decided to open them separately from the other. So when you unwrapped yours to find the prettiest necklace you’d ever seen with your initial as a charm, you almost cried like a baby. It was definitely out of the thirty dollar price limit, but you couldn’t dare complain. 

This was when you thought maybe it was the right time to confess and get everything off of your chest. 

But then Minjae’s girlfriend’s advice rings in your ears and you hold back. You had to wait for him to come to you. 

The fourth, and final, time you and Sumin want to confess to each other, is on Christmas morning. 

You woke up earlier than he did and thought it might be nice to surprise him with breakfast. You’d exchanged gifts the night before, so today would be a relaxed day. At least, you hoped it would, what with all the insane tension and stepping on eggshells around each other. 

Despite not being that great at cooking, you still knew how to whip up some basic things. Most, if not all, of them were Sumin’s favorites. You’d decided to make him some French toast with fresh fruit. Thankfully, you had everything you needed, so it would be easy to just start now. 

The smell that filled the air following each sizzle on the griddle had your mouth watering. If he wasn’t convinced that you were wife material after this, he was a lost cause. Hell, if he didn’t think you were girlfriend material after this, you just might rip your hair out. 

Over this past month, you’d given yourself plenty of time to reminisce over your feelings for your best friend. Upon the realization that you had them, you wondered what made him so special, what set him apart from the rest. The answer was simple; he was Sumin. 

Sure, he was goofy and he never really did things the conventional way. He was too stubborn for his own good and he wouldn’t be caught dead showing affection to anyone but his mother. But despite that, he always wore his heart on his sleeve and allowed himself to be trampled over when he didn’t deserve it. He was a little messy and left cookie trays on the stove after he used the oven. He somehow managed to leave a single water cup in the sink every time. He fell asleep on the couch often and sometimes forgot to lock the front door. 

Above all of that, he was the best thing that had ever happened to you. He knew exactly when you needed a good laugh, the kind that had you hunching over and clutching your stomach. He showed you that he appreciated you in the ways that he could, without overstepping any boundaries. He did your laundry for you on occasion, even when you didn’t ask him to. He always seemed to know when you were running low on facial cleanser or moisturizer, setting a new one in the midst of your things. If you were out for the night, he waited in the living room until he was sure you were home safe. 

He wasn’t like every other guy out in the universe, but that’s what made him so special, what set him apart from the rest. That was why you fell so hard and so fast. Choi Sumin would forever be the person your heart continued to beat for, even if he didn’t feel the same. 

You didn’t even realize you’d finished making around half a loaf of bread, far too absorbed in your thoughts. You plate them on your nicer, china plates and dust some powdered sugar on top. After slicing a few strawberries, you set everything on the breakfast bar. 

It actually looks like a scene straight from a movie. Had you and Sumin been a real couple, and not just a couple of besties, this would be the perfect Christmas. But a girl could only dream, you suppose. 

Lost inside of your mind again while stirring some cream into your coffee, you don’t hear the creak of Sumin’s bedroom door. He stumbles into the kitchen with a yawn, cheeks puffy. His eyes are bleary, taking a moment to focus on the sight of you blowing away the steam coming up from your mug. He spots the French toast not much later, his heart swelling. 

“Morning,” he rasps, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. 

You jump, startled by the sudden voice. “Good morning. I— uh— I made breakfast.”

“I see that,” he smiles, sitting on the stool beside you. “Smells yummy.”

You eat in silence as he pours himself some orange juice. It’s weird. Silence. It’s not a common occurrence between the two of you, given the fact that you’d been as close as you have for almost a decade now. You were both the type to talk for ages without getting bored of the other. 

“So—”

“How—”

You both start speaking at the same time, laughing together at the silly coincidence. Sumin looks adorable with his mouth full of French toast. You look like something straight out of a Christmas catalog. He swallows his food, holding his fist to his mouth. 

“You go first.” He nods. 

“I was just gonna ask if you liked your gifts from your parents,” you say, shifting your attention to the suddenly very interesting three-quarters-empty mug of coffee. “Your mom called me for my opinion when she was buying the headphones.”

Sumin thinks he might burst into tears over his barely finished plate of breakfast. His mother was the only woman in his life that had yet to fail him. She’s the only one he’d ever allowed into his heart for so long. And then you came along and changed all of that. You became someone he could lean on, someone he could depend on when he thought life was caving in on him. It made him so happy knowing that you had a good relationship with his mom. His two favorite ladies. 

He doesn’t answer you, instead grabbing your face and pulling you to him. He connects your lips in a sweet kiss, one that communicates everything he’s been trying to say for days, weeks, months, years. It’s unplanned, it’s a little messy, and it’s kind of desperate, but it’s perfect. 

You part for air, resting your forehead on his as he chases your kiss. A giggle bubbles past your throat. “A bit eager now, are we?”

“I have wanted to do that for so long,” he sighs, eyes closed, nose brushing yours. “You have no idea.”

“What about—” You stamp another kiss on the corner of his mouth, then another on the center, and you punctuate each word with more. “—Less talking? More kissing?” 

“I really like the sound of that,” he whispers, reciprocating. His kisses trail from your mouth to your ear, lighting fire beneath your skin. Everywhere his lips touch, you ache for more. 

When you and Sumin became friends, this was never on your list of things that could possibly happen in the future. You never thought you’d be making out with him in your shared kitchen on Christmas morning. Or at all, for that matter. This was entirely out of your realm of possibilities. 

It’s just too easy to fall into his kiss and the way his lips taste so sweet on yours. There’s a hint of syrup and powdered sugar that makes it so much more addicting. You think you could make French toast for breakfast every day if it meant he tasted this enticing.

Sumin steps off the stool and slots himself between your legs, not breaking away from you for a second. His hands rub up and down the sides of your thighs, fingers slipping under your shirt just like he wanted that day you were decorating. Had he gotten his shot together at the beginning of the month, he could’ve been doing this so long ago. 

“I want more, Sumin,” you murmured against his lips. Now that he made the first move, you’re definitely willing to take what you’ve been wanting and waiting for. He parts from you slightly, noses brushing. 

“Are you sure?” Deep down, he’s still scared that changing everything about your dynamic means there’s a chance he could lose you. 

Your hand comes up to cup his cheek, thumb caressing his skin gently. You stare at him with the utmost adoration, as if he personally placed each star in the sky. Sumin thinks he could die the happiest man ever right now, slipping under the spell that is your sparkly eyes. 

“I’ve never been more sure about something in my life.” Your voice is just above a whisper, but it’s enough to assure him. He smiles at you softly, pressing his lips to yours once again. 

Sumin grabs at the hem of your shirt, pulling it off of you carefully. He kisses all over your neck and chest, nipping and sucking wherever he pleases. Your whines fuel his desperation, encouraging his confidence. He helps you onto the counter, trailing his lips down your body to the waistband of your pajama pants. 

His eyes gaze up at yours, mouth glued to your lower stomach as his fingers make quick work of the bow. He drags them down your legs, faster than your top, until you’re left in nothing except your undergarments. He reaches behind you for something and your eyebrows knit together. 

When he produces the can of whipped cream from your breakfast, you feel the fire beneath your skin burning heavier. He pushes down on the nozzle, a line of whipped cream connecting the band of your bra to your panties. Sumin makes eye contact with you once more to ensure that this is still okay. With your lip between your teeth and your elbows propping you up, he has his answer. 

At what feels like the most agonizingly slowest pace, Sumin licks the whipped cream from your skin. He kisses and suckles at the surface as he does so, making sure to not leave a bit of the confectionery behind. 

A gasp escapes you when his fingers hook into the waistband of your panties, mouth still exploring the plane of your lower stomach. He peels them away from your body, not wasting a second the moment your cunt is bared to him. His lips envelope your clit, thumb circling your entrance. Your head tilts back, your sighs of pleasure transforming into moans. 

The way he’s teasing you inches you closer and closer to your release, but not enough to push you over entirely. The tip of his finger slides in, but then slides right back out, not giving you much of anything to work with. You whine when his tongue laps at your clit. It feels so good, but it’s not what you need. You’re itching for more. 

Sumin can tell you’re getting antsy because you keep wriggling around in his hold. He halts his motions. “More?”

You nod frantically. “Please?”

Two of Sumin’s fingers slip inside of you with ease, grazing that sweet spot at the crook of your pussy. A moan forces itself from your chest, nails digging into your palms to keep yourself grounded. He grins to himself before attaching to your clit again. The bundle of nerves is extremely sensitive now, speeding up the process. 

“You’re so cute,” he mumbles into your lower lips, still consuming you as if you were his last meal. 

All you can do is let out a strangled groan, eyes squeezed shut. His mouth is on your neck once more, and his fingers are swiping side to side on your clit, bursting through the dam containing your bliss. It feels like your whole body has deflated, losing all your strength from supporting your own weight. 

You’re spent, but you need him unlike you’ve ever needed something in your life. Hopefully he’s good at reading you, because all that you can manage to do is communicate that through your pleading eyes. Sumin purses his lips, placing a small kiss at the tip of your nose. Your head chases after him, a pout finding its way onto your face when it doesn’t receive what it wants. 

“Baby, are you sure you can give me another?” He asks you politely, respectfully. You sit up and cup either side of his head as you do so. 

“I have to. I wanna feel you, all of you,” is your reply. Your foot nudges at the band of his sweatpants, batting your eyelashes at him as seductively as you can. He laughs, a soft laugh that tells you he isn’t making fun of you, but rather, he’s endeared by your actions. 

Sumin kisses you like drizzling honey on a warm croissant, something so sweet and comforting. You aid him as best as you can in removing his clothes. Just as you reach out to stroke his cock, he takes your wrist into his hand gently. “I don’t have any protection, though.”

“It’s okay,” you shake your head, leaving a peck on his cheek. “I trust you. With every part of myself.”

His lips are on yours again as he aligns himself with your entrance. The second he slips in, he feels like he’s on another planet. Your pussy is so inviting, so snug around his dick. It’s like you were made for him, sucking him in with each thrust of his hips. His forehead falls to your shoulder, a hiss reaching your ears when he finally bottoms out. 

“Fuck,” he whispers, grip tight on your hips. 

Your legs wrap around his waist, palms flat on the counter beneath you. Slowly, building up to a pace that’s suitable for both of you, he begins to rock into you. His hold on your sides is enough to make you meet him halfway. 

“You feel so good, Sumin,” you moan, head falling backward so your throat is on display for him. 

He groans into your skin, loving the sound of your voice while he’s inside of you. It’s the loveliest thing he’s ever heard. This is all he could ever need. You. This apartment. Endless days of just having you in his arms, whether it was like this or in a wholesome manner, he didn’t mind either. 

Sumin increases the intensity of his movements when he suspects you’re getting close again, feeling that familiar pulse of your walls. His thumb finds your swollen clit again, circling it with the tiniest amount of pressure. He smiles to himself when you tighten around him, knowing that he’s giving it to you good, the way you deserve. 

He knows there isn’t really a difference between fucking someone and making love to him, as they are essentially the same thing. But making love to someone requires emotion. Some very strong ones at that. And luckily, he had those emotions for you. He wanted to ensure that you felt every single one translated into what he was giving you. He wanted to give you tender love and care. 

Your volume increases, growing higher in pitch the nearer you are to your climax. He kisses you passionately, a lot like that first one you shared, and that’s what brings you to that euphoric waterfall. Your release washes over you in waves, as if you really were at the bottom of cascading water. 

Sumin works you through your orgasm, pulling out once you’re revived. You take his cock into your hand, pumping it so he could finish on your lower belly. His eyes flutter shut momentarily, breathing deeply before he helps you off the counter and cleans you up gently. He kisses the crown of your head, pulling you into him for a warm embrace. (The warmest embrace you’ve ever had in your life.)

“We kinda have to— um— we have to talk about this don’t we?” Out of nowhere, he’s shy, almost like he hadn’t just fucked you on your kitchen counter. 

“I think you’re overthinking things, Sumin. I mean, we have feelings for each other. That’s really all there is to it,” you say into his chest. “We don’t have to make things extremely complicated for no reason. I love you, you love me.” 

“It’s not that I just love you,” he shakes his head. “I’ve been in love with you since senior year. We were getting older and I realized that the fear of losing you to adulthood wasn’t just because I was afraid of you and I drifting apart. It was also because I didn’t want to lose you. I was scared of you meeting new people and forgetting me when I was the one there for you for so long. And fuck, you deserve better than a spontaneous confession after I just defiled you where we eat every day. You deserve fireworks and flowers, you deserve this big grand gesture in a fancy restaurant where hundreds of people can see how special you are. You deserve something surprising.”

You feel tears well in your eyes, your heart just about growing in size. Even if it wasn’t conventionally perfect, it was everything you wanted to hear. Then again, conventionality was never Choi Sumin’s thing, so you never expected anything less. 

His mouth parts when he sees that you're crying, scrambling to figure out what he did wrong. You dismiss his worries, wiping away stray tears quickly. At the same time, you notice something on the ceiling, scoffing to yourself. Minjae’s girlfriend really was something else. 

You point up. “How’s that for surprising?”

He can’t help but laugh at the mistletoe hung right above you, completely inconspicuous this entire time. He closes the gap between you with a quirk of his lip. “Guess we gotta follow tradition. I heard it’s bad luck if you don’t kiss underneath the mistletoe.”

“Did you now?” You tease, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Yup, and I’m pretty sure it’s generational. Plus, we have an entire day ahead of us, so I think we should continue what we started.” His face is so close to your own as he says this. You giggle. 

When your lips meet again, it’s like all is right in the world. Everything melted away and became background noise, like time had stopped specifically for this moment. The moment where it was just you and Sumin. 

This was better than any other gift you could’ve gotten under the tree. Thanks, Santa.

© 𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒊𝒏.

[polarkook]

PHOTOS YOU'VE TAKEN OF YOUR BOYFRIEND SUMIN

please don't repost, requests open!

[polarkook]

(𐙚⋆.˚) lily of the valley

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ [na kamden x reader] ...୨♡୧... wc. 5k w. curse words! fluff ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

requested!

hey siri! play 'lily of the valley' by DANIEL on spotify!

hold time tightly in my heart and live you who have grown in past years

the sun peeked through your curtains ever so gently, as if nature wanted you to finally wake up. the air conditioning kept the morning cool even in the hottest of days, giving you the perfect excuse to use your boyfriend as the portable heater he was.

you became aware of your surroundings as you stirred awake, kamden’s arms secured around your torso as he held you against him even in his sleep. he was always the most gentle with you, treating you like you were made out of the softest of porcelains and would break with one sudden, rough move.

it was in his nature to take care of you. something rooted so deeply in the foundations of his soul that he could never ignore it, even when he was lost in a dreamland where — to no one’s surprise — he found you as well. that's why he held you close and heated you up even when he complained about you setting the aircon so low, having him freeze his ass off every night just because you couldn’t handle heat.

in the midst of regaining consciousness you could feel the way that kamden’s head rested against your chest, his nose buried on your skin. he had done that ever since the first time you spent the night together, putting the excuse that your natural scent was one he loved. 

your hands found their way around him, cradling his head in a position perfect to give you access to tangle your fingers on the strands of his soft brown hair. you scratched his scalp ever so gently, sleepily attempting to let some of your undying affection for him show. the boy moved subtly, shifting awake and immediately tightening his hold on you. his head tilted just enough to allow him to nuzzle into the crook of your neck, right before his breath tickled your skin as he spoke.

“morning, angel,” his sleepy, hoarse voice sounded straight out of heaven and pulled your very first smile of the day.

“good morning, kammy,” you muttered, not yet opening your eyes as sleep still had its hold on you. “happy anniversary.”

you could feel the ghost of his smile on your skin when he spoke. “happy best four years of my life.”

your heart melted with affection when he moved enough to let his face be in front of yours, greeting your freshly opened eyes with the sight of his sleepy smile.

you returned the gesture before leaning in to kiss the tip of his nose and hold him even closer. a small, deep chuckle rumbled in his chest at the action right before he mirrored it.

“i have so many gifts for you,” you said excitedly as you looked at his beautiful face.

“do you?” he asked, his mood not yet matching your enthusiasm as he slowly blinked away the sleep from his brown eyes.

“hmh, i’ve been waiting to give them to you,” you nodded happily, your hands still running through the strands of his hair.

“i have gifts for you too, baby,” he smiled, his chest swelling with affection. you had always loved giving and receiving gifts, it being clearly your favorite part of any type of celebration.

it wasn't the materialistic tendencies that appealed to you, but the way in which kamden’s eyes lit up every time he opened one of the things you had so thoughtfully gotten him and wrapped. and well, also the way your boyfriend always knew exactly what to get you.

“i can almost feel you vibrating with how much you want to go get them right now,” he smiled, your emotions always so evidently on display for him.

“we can come back to bed later?” you asked, a bright smile on your own face.

“just five more minutes?” he asked in exchange. he wanted to spend the rest of his life just tangled up with you under the sheets, feeling the way your bodies fit together perfectly like two puzzle pieces.

“okay, i can wait,” you mumbled before leaning in to kiss him gently.

“good,” he mumbled over your lips before holding you closer and attaching his face to your neck again, leaving soft kisses on the skin there.

your fourth anniversary with kamden was spent at home, so tangled up in each other and your love that nothing could ever tint the memory of it.

today, thickened into my flower thanks to you kamden was on his last straw. 

his day had been probably part of the top ten worst days of his life, and it was just getting worse by the second. 

from waking up away from you because he had to stay and make sure a very drunk mackiah didn’t choke to death with his own vomit after his dramatic break up on a sunday night, to getting caught on the first rain of the year while he walked to work to deal with the most annoying customers he had ever met, to having to go back to an empty house because you worked overtime that day.

he was wondering what the fuck he had ever done to deserve that type of karma when he opened the door of your shared apartment with a heavy sigh, dropping his keys on the table by the door as he kicked of his shoes. however, the smell of food filled his nostrils and the sound of soft music in the background caught his attention instead.

“yn?” he called out, standing up right and slowly walking towards the kitchen, where he caught you dancing around the kitchen as you cooked. 

your attention moved towards him, a smile making its way into your face the moment your eyes found his.

“hey baby,” you spoke happily, walking towards him and pecking his lips softly. “i tried to reach you on your phone, everything okay?” kamden let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head. “my phone died because mackiah didn’t have a charger.”

you nodded in understanding, placing the spoon on the counter and shrugging off your apron before wrapping your arms around his middle. “off day?”

he sighed again and hugged you back, relishing on the feeling of finally being in your arms after the long day he had. “the worst.”

instead of prying what had happened out of him, you held him a little tighter in your arms. “i’m sorry to hear that, my love.”

“it’s okay, i’m better now,” he assured, burying his nose in your hair and inhaling. the coconut scent of your shampoo immediately calming his body down.

it didn’t take long until you both sat on the dinner table, a plate of his favorite soup in front of each of you as he ranted annoyedly. “and he was so sad, like actually sobbing his heart out while he was throwing back shots that seungmo kept giving him even when i told him to stop. so obviously, i was the one that had to stay to make sure he didn’t fucking choke and i was caught on the rain when i went to work, the girl that asked for private classes kept trying to flirt with me even when i told her i have a girlfriend and then she actually cried when i politely asked her to back off.”

you looked at him with soft eyes, wishing you could just erase the horrible day your boyfriend had had of existence and replace it with nothing but happy memories.

“i’m sorry, that sounds like an awful day,” you said, reaching to hold his hand over the table. “may i interest you in an adam sandler movie and cuddles for the rest of the night?”

as you spoke, his chest swelled with affection, because even when his days were awful, you were there to make his nights better.

my love is a flower in your hands our time

“na kamden i swear to god,” you exclaimed loudly, amusement evident in your voice as you held up a spoon in his direction menacingly.

“what are you going to do, smack me?” he asked, looking at you daringly as he approached you, a fistfull of flour in his hand.

“i will, and you know that,” you laughed, swatting the spoon around as you backed up further into the kitchen.

just then, your back hit the fridge and your menace of a boyfriend saw the perfect chance to sprinkle the flower right on top of your head. you let out a shriek at his actions, closing your eyes to avoid getting flour in them as you hit his arm repeatedly until you got him to back away.

“you bitch!” you cried out, not being able to contain the smile on your face as you shook the flour off of your hair.

“come on, i know you have to wash your hair tonight anyways,” he laughed, finding the sight of you covered in flour all too amusing.

“you’re so annoying,” you laughed, moving to grab a fistful of flour and charging at him, following around the small kitchen until you had the chance to catch up to him and throw the powder in his hair. “payback.”

“you little menace,” kamden let out a groan and wrapped his arms around your waist, tickling you without any possibility of escape as you screamed out in laughter.

he didn’t let go until  tears of laughter ran down your flour stained cheeks and you had told him you would give him all the kisses he wanted, now letting you rest in his arms as you tried to get your breathing back to normal.

your arms wrapped around his torso as you rested your face on his chest, calming your heartbeat while you enjoyed the feeling of his strong arms holding you. soft music filled the background, slowly coaxing your boyfriend to begin swaying your standing figures side to side ever so gently.

that was one of the many things you adored about him; he always danced, no matter the situation. he danced for his job; he danced during parties; he did an adorable little shoulder dance every time he ate something he particularly liked; and he danced with you in a kitchen full of flour, with your hair painted white and the powder getting in his nostrils every time he breathed in your scent.

nothing ever got kamden to stop dancing, just as nothing ever got him to stop loving you.

“i’m not cleaning this up, you know,” you interrupted the silence, a teasing smile on your face as you looked up. your arms had moved to wrap around his shoulders as his rested on your hips, gently guiding you through a lazy sway.

“i know, you're too lazy to even think about it,” he snorted, making you swat his shoulder softly.

“i’m not lazy,” you complained, earning a questioning look full of disbelief from him.

“you are, let’s not deny that,” he muttered, a smile on his face. “I still love you, though, and that’s why i’m going to clean this mess.” you couldn't help but let the adoring smile adorn your face at his words, one of your hands carding through his hair. “just give me a minute until this song is over.” you nodded and marvelled at the sight of his breathtaking smile as he leaned in to kiss you, sealing an already beautiful moment as the most perfect one of all.

i'll give you something unforgettable my feelings forever

kamden’s heart felt like it was about to fall out of his ass.

in his entire almost 24 years of life he had never been so nauseatingly excited and nervous at the same time, and he wasn’t quite sure that he liked it. still, he pushed through. everything was worth it if it meant seeing you smile.

“can’t you just give me a hint?” you asked as you watched him through the reflection of the mirror you were currently sitting in front of. kamden sat on your shared bed, waiting until you were done getting ready as he watched you with a lovesick expression.

“i already told you no, angel,” he chuckled softly, heart melting when a pout settled on your lips.

“you can’t just buy me a dress and tell me we’re going to a surprise destination and not expect me to want to know where we’re going,” you complained, settling the hairbrush down and turning to look at him. “yes i can, you ready?” he asked, standing up to walk up to you and kiss your forehead.

“i hate you,” you glared playfully, standing up so you could finally go wherever it was that he wanted to take you.

“i love you too,” he smiled, stealing a quick kiss on your lips.

...୨♡୧...

“okay, we’re here,” you heard kamden’s voice say as the car came to a stop, so you sat and waited for him to help you out. being blindfolded was not your ideal idea for a date, but you couldn’t really complain. kamden always went above and beyond to make you the happiest you could be, so if you had to be blindfolded in a car for forty minutes to make him happy, you would in a heartbeat. 

your boyfriend guided you out of the car, making you walk a few steps until you felt grass tickle the exposed skin of your legs, “ready?”

you could feel his breath on your skin as he stood behind you, waiting until you nodded to take the blindfold off gently. you blinked a couple times as your eyes attempted to get used to the light before you could focus on the breathtaking view in front of you.

“holy shit,” you said breathlessly. kamden’s arms wrapped around your torso from behind and his chin settled on your shoulder.

“you like it?” he asked, leaving a small kiss on the skin of your shoulder.

“i love it,” you spoke, not being able to take your eyes away from the view. a field of flowers, of lilies that extended so far out that you couldn’t meet the end. “how did you find this place?”

kamden couldn't help the smile that pulled at his lips, the warmth in his chest that bloomed just like a flower from the beautiful sight of your smiling face. “just did some research, not very hard.”

you turned around in his arms, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and bringing him closer to yourself. “it's beautiful, kammy.”

he smiled even brighter as he leaned into you, nuzzling your nose ever so gently before capturing your lips in a soft, tender kiss that screamed promises of undying affection.

“you’re beautiful,” he whispered against your lips once he parted away, stealing one last peck before moving away. “now come on, i have one more surprise.”

you did nothing but follow him as he pulled you into the field, a basket in one hand and you in the other. you walked until you were in the middle of the field where he laid a blanket, pulling you with him so you stood away from crushing them.

“i’m going to have to put a lot of effort into the next date,” you joked, amused as you watched your boyfriend take food out of the basket and lay it on the side of the blanket. “you better,” he joked, finishing his work before he pulled your hand enough to have you sit flush against him and kiss your temple.

hours passed between thunderous laughs, stories, and kisses with sweet nothings whispered in between. the sun began to set and kamden grew nervous again, so much that you had to stop your story to give him a questioning look.

“is something wrong? you look nervous,” you asked, head tilted in worry and curiosity.

the boy felt his heart swell at the look on your face, so he reached to caress the skin of your cheek affectionately. “nothing is wrong,” he assured, “i just have something to ask you.” “okay? you know you can ask me anything,” you smiled, moving to hold his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze.

“i know,” he nodded, bringing your hand up to kiss your knuckles, “listen, uhm… i have to say something before i ask.” you nodded, urging him to continue. “ever since i met you for the first time i’ve known that my heart will always belong to you… i have never loved anyone as much as i love you, and i know i never will, because you’re it, yn, you're my one.”

your heart beat harsh on your chest at his beautiful words, realization slowly beginning to set in as he continued.

“and i really wouldn't have it any other way. you make me feel like the luckiest man in the world; like nothing in my life could ever compare to the comfort you give me even in my worst days; to the love i feel every time you look at me.” he spoke, his hand reaching for something behind him as his eyes stayed on yours. “i love you, yn, and i want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

your eyes stung with tears as he pulled out a tiny box, opening it to reveal a beautiful ring. 

“will you give me the honor of being your husband?”

and just then, everything was perfect. the field full of your favorite flowers, a basket full of your favorite snacks and the love of your life sitting in front of you, a ring in his hand as he looked at you with nothing but sheer adoration. he didn’t need to kneel down for you. he needed to be close, to be at eye level with you and show you that it was where he belonged; by your side, sharing his love.

“of course, yes,” you nodded after a beat of silence, tears in your eyes as you let him put the ring on your finger and pull you into his arms.

your bodies fell into the blanket, tangled in each other as you both tried your best to stop the tears that were flooding your cheeks with no stop. still, with your makeup ruined and you eyes puffy, the moment was perfect.

the times I miss silently while looking at me in a pure white form

a random day in 2018

“so, you nervous?” kade asked his brother from his place next to him in the makeshift hall they had made in their classroom.

“i’m about to throw up,” kamden nodded, positively feeling like his lunch was going to abandon him at any point during the next few minutes.

“it’s okay, just pretend you haven't been gut wrenchingly in love with her for the past three years and that this is actually just a school project.” kade smiled, finding way too much amusement in his brother’s pale face as he clapped his shoulder in a supposedly comforting manner.

“oh wow, thanks,” kamden rolled his eyes, just in time to be interrupted by one of his classmates, his friend beomgyu, taking his place in front of him, sporting his ridiculous priest outfit as he introduced the whole bit.

“we have about thirty minutes left of class so if na kamden could please stand up,”

the boy did just that, taking his place in front of his class and offering his teacher a small bow. just then, the music started playing and your pretend bridesmaids flowed through the room with his best friends, taking place at their respective sides so the main attraction could shine.

kamden’s heart was stuck in his throat the moment you walked into the classroom, your puffy white dress and the veil — courtesy of the theater department — making you look even more radiant than usual. your eyes bored directly into his all the way until you were escorted right in front of him, smiling from ear to ear.

“dear classmates and teachers, we gather here today to complete our assignment and thank you for being here for this very official, very real wedding.” he began, making giggles to erupt in the class. “just kidding. but seriously, today we’re here to celebrate two awesome people, na kamden and ln yn, who’ve decided to fake-marry each other for this assignment. now who would’ve thought it’d be them.”

kamden couldn't help but roll his eyes in amusement, because well, he was used to his friends making fun of his stupidly long big fat crush.

“you may proceed to your fake vows,”

you nodded softly at him, signaling him to start. he took a deep breath, felt the reassuring squeeze of your hand and finally began talking. “yn, i promise to be your fake life partner through imaginary highs and hypothetical lows. i’ll stand by your side in this very official pretend marriage, even if you steal my fries or hog the netflix account.” he began, his shoulders tense as he looked into your eyes. “i vow to always be your teammate, your go-to person for group projects, and the person you can count on for backup when things get awkward or boring — like math class or family dinners.” he relaxed slowly as he watched your smile, soothed simply by your presence. “you’re one of the easiest people to be around. you get my weird jokes, you always know what to say, and honestly, if I had to be fake-married to anyone, i’m glad it’s you.”

his speech came to an end with a shaky breath as he watched your eyes crinkle in a smile, a beat of silence between you as he slipped a red ring pop on your finger before you spoke.

“kammy, i vow to be your loyal fake partner, to share imaginary groceries, make fake inside jokes, and survive the chaos of this assignment without totally losing it.” you began, and he could see how nervous you were. “i’ll be the one who remembers your coffee order — even in our pretend future — and who always saves you a seat, no matter how crowded the cafeteria gets. you’re just… easy to talk to. easy to joke with. easy to pretend a life with. and I guess that says something, even if we’re not saying it out loud.” kamden really felt like his heart was going to explode just then and there at the way you were looking at him. “so yeah — thanks for being the best fake spouse i never knew i needed. this might be for class, but it’s been kinda fun pretending with you.”

for a moment, the entire class had disappeared. it was just you and him standing in front of each other, hands intertwined and sporting candy as you did your best not to fuck up the whole assignment you had worked so hard in.

until beomgyu spoke, of course. 

“i’m beginning to feel like we’re intruding, so i’ll just ask. do you, kamden, accept yn to be your unlawfully wedded wife for the rest of the 15 minutes of class?”

“i do.”

“great, now, yn, do you take kamden to be your unlawfully wedded husband for the rest of the 15 minutes of class?”

“i do.”

“beautiful. now with the power invested in me by the printer by the coffee shop as fake-priest or whatever, i now pronounce you... fake married. you may now awkwardly hug, high-five, or do whatever school-appropriate thing you planned. congrats, you two!"

kamden laughed softly, raising his hand to you and waiting for your very synchronized and planned high five. the moment your hands collided, you moved to intertwine your fingers so you could rush out of the room like you would in an actual wedding.

there, watching the world move in slow motion as you ran and laughed, kamden knew he would be damned if he didn't make that whole thing real one day.

we, as we were back then are still in the same place

back to the present

“so, you nervous?” kade asked his brother from his place next to him in the very real wedding hall.

“i’m about to throw up,” kamden nodded, rejoicing in the deja vu of the whole conversation. much like in that distant memory, he felt like having lunch was a terrible idea, but he couldn’t let that ruin the day he had been waiting for for so long.

“at least you don’t have to pretend you aren’t in love with her this time,” kade laughed, amused at his brother’s nervousness and yet immensely fond at the whole situation.

“at least,” kamden chuckled, fiddling with the hem of his sleeve as he watched your bridesmaids walk in, his best friends along with them. the sight made his heart swell, only being torn down by how brian leaned in to whisper something in your friend’s ear and caused her to giggle.

he couldn’t just wait a little longer to secure a hook up for the night.

his annoyance dissipated immediately after; when you walked into the room by your father’s arm. the memory of how you looked all those years ago was nothing compared to the real thing. your dress looked far too magical on you, you shined in that way that he knew only you ever could. still, the smile you wore was the same he had fallen in love with years before.

the minister — a newly online ordained beomgyu who couldn’t stop fucking smiling — began his introduction, but kamden couldn’t hear what he was saying. nothing existed outside of you when you got to his side, your hands going to his while your tear soaked eyes connected.

his attention was brought back when you squeezed his hand, making him notice that it was time for his vows. just like you did then, you calmed his nerves with a soft smile of encouragement. 

“it still makes me laugh that the first time i stood in front of you and said vows, we were seventeen and pretending. back then, i said i’d be your fake partner, your teammate. what I didn’t know was how real those things would become, even if i wished for them every night. so today, for real this time, i vow to be your home. to be the one who listens when you need quiet, and the one who cheers for you when you forget how amazing you are. i promise to love you with patience, with purpose, and with a kind of joy that keeps growing. i’ll stand beside you in the ordinary days, the chaotic ones, and the ones we’ll remember for the rest of our lives.” he couldn’t help the way in which his voice trembled as he cried, sniffling softly before continuing. “you’ve been my best friend and now, you’re my forever. and I can’t wait to keep choosing you — again and again, for all our days. i love you.”

he slipped the ring on your finger, hands trembling like he was seventeen again. when he looked up, his world shattered at the sight of your pretty face stained with tears and overwhelming love.

“kammy, when we were seventeen, i stood up in front of the same idiot in a suit and fake-promised to remember your coffee order, save you a seat, and be your pretend partner for a class project. but even then, I think part of me knew that if anything ever became real, i’d want it to be with you.” your voice was shaky through your tears, and he wanted nothing but to hug you. “so today, i vow to be your real partner. to love you when it’s easy and when it’s not. to build a life with you that’s full of laughter, late-night takeout, lilies, and quiet moments that feel like home. i promise to believe in you when you forget how strong you are, and to keep learning you even when i think i already know every part… we may have started as a joke, but there’s nothing funny about how deeply i love you now. you’re the best decision i never meant to make — and the only one i’ll keep making for the rest of my life.”

at that point, he was trying to contain the sob that fought to escape his lips when you slipped his ring on, intertwining your hands again. 

“now, do you, na kamden, take yn to be your lawfully wedded wife for the rest of your days?" his friend asked, smiling.

"I do."

“of course you do…  do you, ln yn, take kamden to be your lawfully wedded husband for the rest of your days?"

“i do.”

“well then, with the power invested in me by the internet and the printer at your house, i declare you man and wife. you may kiss the bride.”

your husband didn’t have to be told twice before he slammed his lips against yours, kissing you to seal the promise he had made himself all those years ago. he whispered a million i love you’s against your lips as your guests cheered, all before sweeping you off your feet, stealing one last kiss and leaving the venue and everyone behind.

in years of knowing you, kamden had grown to love you as much as a person could be loved. he had gotten to know you better than anyone and to appreciate you more than he ever thought he could. he knew he was young and time changed things, but if he had already loved you for nearly a decade, what was the rest of your life?

𐙚 blue's corner ;; this is dedicated to the love of my life and my one and only, i looooove you !! 𐙚 taglist ;; @tiramisumin @astrasng @hot-girls-love-jiho @lovelyjuju @spacejip @kireilien 𐙚 back to the masterlist. 𐙚 please do not copy, adapt or steal any of the content !!!

© tmrwsuns, 2025