pollkien

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Nienna propaganda: Gandalf got everyone to spare Gollum and he accidentally destroyed the ring and Nienna is the Lady of Pity and Mercy so Nienna saved the world!!!!

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Crackship wheel part 4

Today's crackship is:

Nerdanel x Yavanna

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whoever is left in the finals of silm sexywoman, I will draw them being lesbians together. I am tired of pitting women against each other when they should be lesbians instead. Love wins !!

The winner should dom the loser

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Crackship wheel part 3

Today's crackship is:

Shagrat x Aragorn

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Crackship wheel part 2

Today's crackship is:

Théoden x Arien

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The frist Tolkien crackship wheel; part 1

Today's crackship is:

Boromir x Frodo Baggins

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submitting fingolfin and galadriel for the Penis Poll

🫡 it is done

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bit late but aredhel has a massive dick. huuuuge cock. penis that would make any man jealous. she got eöl pregnant.

I agree with everything you just said.

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I second whoever nominated TOLKIEN HIMSELF for the penis poll... it would be funny

God. Okay. xD

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Ingwe for the big dick if it isn't too late. I can only assume that's how he and his wife are popping out half a dozen kids before even leaving Cuiviénen

Yeah, everyone says how Fëanor has an absurd amount of kids, but Ingwe’s been smashing since day 1. Doesn’t he have plenty of kids even before going to Valinor?

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I do not know it this is big enough for your account, but tomorrow the Tolkien crackship wheel series starts on my account. In this series I spin a wheel with 190 Tolkien characters every day to create a new crackship, which is then rated by the fans in a poll. I did this with Harry Potter before, if you want to see how the poll looks :D

(telling you because you asked for other people polls)

Oh crap, I didn’t see this. Sorry x) I’ll go take a look right now!

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I like how the Valar are just CONSISTENTLY losing in these polls

I know right! I really thought Varda would win against Arien at least!

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LÚTHIEN PROPAGANDA (art by Aerankai):

Jirt’s wife.

No literally. LUTHIEN is carved on Edith Tolkien’s headstone. BEREN is carved on Jirt’s headstone

What isn’t there to say about Luthien honestly

Sexiest elf ever. Only half maia we know of. Beren is her damsel in distress. Pussy popped so hard it brought down Sauron

“Her robe was blue as summer skies, / but grey as evening were her eyes; / 'twas sewn with golden lilies fair, / but dark as shadow was her hair” sooooo pretty

I think she was the only one who got to ride Huan. I vaguely remember a quote about that

Sang so prettily it put Morgoth to sleep

“She was born in the Forest of Neldoreth under the stars, and niphredil first grew at the moment of her birth.” Okay professor

Friendzoned Daeron 😔

“Their spirits were gathered in the Halls of Mandos in the Uttermost West, and there Lúthien sang a song of such extraordinary power and beauty that it moved even the implacable heart of Mandos himself” I don’t believe this I choose to believe she just annoyed Námo until he revived her

Possibly died sooner than she was supposed to due to wearing the Silmaril…

Had a magical cloak made of her hair btw

If she and Beren were both virgins who dommed

ELWING PROPAGANDA (art by Elena Kukanova):

Elrond and Elros’ mommy :)

TRIED to kill herself. Did not succeed

Ulmo’s other blorbo????? Possibly??

Got turned into a big bird or something

The name star-spray is so cute. Too bad it’s The Wing

Helped to convince the Falmari to LEND (, FEANOR) their ships to the host of the valar to stomp Morgoth’s ass

“Elwing was given a white tower northward upon the borders of the Sundering Seas, and there she helped seabirds that came to her windows. Eventually she learned their language, and was able to fly with white wings, and she still flies to meet Eärendil whenever he returns from his voyages through the sky. "Then the far-sighted among the Elves that dwelt in the Lonely Isle would see her like a white bird, shining, rose-stained in the sunset, as she soared in joy to greet the coming of Vingilot to haven.” THIS IS SO CUTE

Is there some line about how hot and sexy she is there must be

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Luthien vs Elwing is diabolical as the kids would say

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NIENNA PROPAGANDA (art by Aerankai):

5 stages of grief joke

Teaches wisdom and endurance in the face of grief that’s so cute!!!

Someome should’ve taught Fëanor that

Picked Gandalf as her blorbo or something

“The pity of Nienna is most clearly seen in her support for Melkor when he sued for the pardon of the Valar. Though she spent her time in the world mourning for the destruction he wrought in Arda, when he sued for release after his three ages of Captivity, Nienna spoke on his part” sued for release is so funny imagine them in the Court of Mandos. Nienna as Morgoth’s lawyer petitioning Judge Mandos for release on good behavior

ANDRETH PROPAGANDA (art by Elena Kukanova):

A wise woman. This is canon

Had that thing with Aegnor

Buddies with Finrod a very cute boy

So fucking wise dude. Did you know she is wise. She is named Wise-woman because she is wise

“Andreth is a Sindarin word meaning "long-suffering, 'Patience'".[3] Her other name, Saelind, means "Wise-heart"” WISE

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ANAIRË PROPAGANDA (art by Marya Filatova):

I’m just gonna use this bullet point to express my jealousy that I’m not the wife of Fingolfin

“Close friends with Ëarwen, Finarfin’s wife” hmmm… 🩷💜💙❓

Passed on her sexy genes to Aredhel

“The name Anairë means "Holiest" in Quenya: an- (superlative prefix) + airë ("holy").” Cute

I keep confusing her with Amarië

MELIAN PROPAGANDA (art by Elena Kukanova):

“In Valinor, she dwelt in the Gardens of Lórien tending its trees, and she was the most beautiful, wise and skilled in songs of enchantment of all the people of Irmo.” Everyone is hot and sexy ok jirt

Taught nightingales to sing <3

And she was soo good at singing even the bells and fountains of Valimar stopped to listen to her sing. Whatever the hell that implies

Stared at Thingol for 200 years

Do you think maybe she got Thingol pregnant or.

Had the most beautiful child who ever lived yeah yeah whatever tolkien

Extremely wise. And probably foresighted. Which Thingol ignored

Repelled Ungoliant with her Maia spider spray

GIRDLE

May have fucked Galadriel?