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₍^⸝⸝> ·̫ <⸝⸝ ^₎fake gore tw/vent acc/spamash₍^⸝⸝>l
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am i crazy? yes. very. but not completley. i know im crazy so thats a start!!!! but for the past couple weeks ive been feeling two areas on my torso have a pulse right around my kidneys ane last night i had a nightmare i shitted out one of them
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when i had an actual eating disorder like pro ana account teo years ago the longest i could go w/o passing out was like almost 3 days i remember i loved the feeling of my stomach hurting and i thought i deserved it also i was on thinspo all that anyways now my stomach doesnt ache as much but thats becusee the kidney pain is over topping it and ifs much worse but ive came to love it...its really.really.really.bad. i csnt beilive i just said that but its true. it feels like im being stabbed but since its been so long its affecting the rest of my body i shake uncontrollably even when i hsve regular blood sugar i feel sharp pains all arohnd my body everyday i alkost pass out eberutime i wake up. i go to sleep around 2-4am and wake up around 12-3pm :3 living my best life rottint in my room i can feel my organs slowing down :3
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i am currently pretending to be a little sick. i have kidney cancer and my parents don't know i judt tell them i feel dizzy snd my head hurts and my muscles hurt but that is not the case it is much worse than that but i dont understand so im going to keep on doing this "experiement" and ik its self harm but i must do it i havnt ate in 4 days amd my parents still hsvnt noticed 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂so silly of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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its so funnt when i try to piss i almost pass put from having to push i eother passout or have a breakdown from fhe pain
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its crazy to find out and realize ive been masking my whole life now i know i try to realize my own stims and triggers but im so tired i donf wanna do anything i literally have cancer i hope it eats me
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i hate people so much i hate all the quote friends ive ever made i hate all the relationships ive had most of them were traumatic and changed my mindset and view of myself and people not in a good way. i dont wanna make any friends #emome but im such a toxic person for half my life i hinted in a humorly way abt me selfh4rming i used to want so much attention now i want to rot in a hole with spikes. all the things i love arent real the only resl thing i love is gx0re to me there is something so beautiful about all places of the humanbody being seen fresh through a pierce showing what matters the most
what made me love this? i dont know exactly theres lots of considerations like undiagnosed illnesses trauma internet access, my love for this and the kind of person i am the the things i desire make me feel special not to mention my music taste, not spiecisl but lucky, so many people are boring i hste poeple so much theyre either boring or hot and have some similar interests but turn iut to be a physicotic liar n cheater. i would only date someone who is very similar to me. i reakize that even though i hate myself, its mot like i want someone to accepet me for who i am, i simply want to find a real friend, my favorite ex loved gx0re and brought it back from to me ar first tramatizing ptsd but i quickly begsn to fall in love more than her, with her and gx0re, we watched it together she thoight it was more funny than anythinf else, while it made me wet and i wish i told her so i could've gone all out but alas i didnt. i desire to find a woman who loves gx0re and is a sadist but st the same time someone who understands me, no one ever will but ive never met one person in my life who remotley understands my passionate intentions. i want a girl who will watch me cvt eatijt popcorn inside her head, telling my what to do how and where and then clean it up for me whermouth then share with me. and when i want to pretend like thats nrver happened after or the next day she would watch charmy kitty in wonderland sith me or cinnamonroll movie or the mlp movie and feed me warm sugar honey cinnamon milk and talk to me like im little i wanna be able to agre again. i want someone who will share the blanket with me someone who will cuddle with me and not be mad when i get uncomfortable physically and want to turn over i wsnt someoje who isnt on their phone facetiming otherp oeple every time they are around me i want someone who has no friends. i want someone that isnt real, no one specifically i want someone who has a really gross funny laugh. i want someone who loves horror i want someone who loves animals i want someone who has good musictaste i want someone who can fly me away from this hole ive been living in my whole life. but at the same time i want someone daed to love. someone who wanted to be. someone who wanted this. insides are so much better than the outside. but at the same time i want my body to freeze and be at center clarity peace serenity endlessly
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i did fhe dishes cleaned the cage cleaned my closet cleaned my room did the laundry what do u want from me
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we will be quiet and they will bring spaghettios for dinner NO theres no way youre gonna be quiet stop lying and you will burn the house down thsts not happening you and me bith know they wont be quiet.
but ifs been a year
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one day ill silec him pu and poop on his lfshe then deef him to pigs
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the way i got dressed out of my pajamas for the first time in months and then he says no! why r u so gloomy why are u like eyeore why r u moping around whats wrongggg when he says that i picture
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