pookys-ponderings

[pookys-ponderings]

Your Name

[pookys-ponderings]

Hetalia

On one hand, it's super funny to think of countries as dumbasses floundering about and bickering over stupid things, poking fun at the stupid and cyclical nature of international conflict. But on another hand, I can understand that the show is inherently boiling down the various voices and desires and nuances of the people of one particular country into a singular person with individual goals and characteristics, generalizing those communal voices and needs into a stereotype. I would argue it is less problematic in the a humorous context where things are not to be taken as seriously, but the simple action of generalizing and condensing voice does legitimize those stereotypes as valid somewhat, because you may take your learned understanding from stereotypes in this kind of media and legitimize it by applying it else where. I think what is important here is to treat stereotypes for what they are, generalizations, and to not apply those generalizations to real people and real nations; to keep in mind that a show about simplifying and satirizing historical elements will never be a totally accurate representation of history because that is not its' function.

[pookys-ponderings]

I think you missed a crucial point with Xenoblade Chronicles. There were two distinct lines from Rex that stood out to me as important setup and resolution points, centering on the theme of environmental objectivism.

The first was when Rex and Gramps were talking about the state of the world in the very beginning. After lamenting that things could be better, and if only they could get to a perfect place like Elysium, Rex immediately says, "Back to making money!". This implies that in his mind at this moment, environmental concerns and his own personal business are two separate matters. This is the definition of environmental objectivism.

At the end of the story, the cloud sea disperses and the titans come together to form one landmass. Rex now notes, "Elysium was here all along", implying that there was no such separation after all, and it was their combined efforts and the efforts of the creator that made up the restoration of their world.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2

I had never played Xenoblade Chronicles 2 before and wasn’t familiar with it, so exploring this game through its cut-scenes was a completely new experience for me. Recently, I haven’t had the time to play video games, so diving into this series as part of the course was quite an adventure. I do think that solely watching cut-scenes somewhat dampened my experience of the game, as I missed out on the interactive elements that are often crucial to fully appreciating a game's impact. Nevertheless, Xenoblade Chronicles 2 offered an engaging narrative and rich world-building that effectively expanded on environmental issues relevant today.

The game is set in a post-apocalyptic world where humanity lives on the backs of gigantic creatures known as Titans. These Titans function as the primary landmasses and ecosystems for human life, and their gradual decay mirrors the real-world environmental degradation caused by human activity. This setting, combined with its storyline, vividly illustrates themes of environmental issues and ecology. The dynamic between the Titans and the people living on them highlights the fragile balance between exploiting natural resources and preserving them for future generations.

One of the key takeaways from both the game and the course module is the pressing need for proactive environmental action. The game's depiction of environmental decline underscores that the situation will only worsen without significant intervention. While Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind suggests that humanity should cease harmful activities and allow natural processes to heal the environment, Xenoblade Chronicles 2 demonstrates a more active role for human interaction. It implies that addressing environmental issues requires not only restraint but also positive, deliberate efforts to restore and maintain ecological balance. It shows an interconnectedness between both humanity and nature.

Overall, I believe it's crucial to have media that tackles these issues because it makes them more accessible and relatable to individuals who might not fully grasp the complexities of environmental problems otherwise. 

[pookys-ponderings]

Definitely agree that this movie was a great watch, both visually stunning and with an overall good message.

Something I noticed within the film is that the humans were generally creating their own mess, and mostly because they were working off of a misconstrued understanding of how the spore forests worked. I think that the second most strongest message in the film is about seeking to understand how nature truly behaves, that it is not against humanity and so we should not be against it. I also think the movie serves to tell the viewer that nature has its own value even without us just through the intricate visual elements and complex environment they depicted.

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind is a visually stunning film, but that really isn’t surprising as it is one of Miyasaki’s film. I was particularly impressed by the environmental designs of the world surrounding Nausicaä. The film is set in a post-apocalyptic world ravaged by the Industrial Era and its resulting pollution. Toxic forests, overrun with diverse fungi and organisms, have reclaimed much of the land, alongside giant insects known as Ohmu. They have fragmented humanity into select areas in lew of their expansion. 

Nausicaä, the protagonist, lives on the edge of one of these toxic forests. Instead of fearing it, she navigates the forest with a deep respect and consideration for nature. The initial scene has her extracting natural material with no disturbance to the environment. As the film progresses, it is revealed that she has been cultivating plants and fungi gathered from the forest, despite their supposed toxicity. The truth is that the plants themselves are not inherently toxic; rather, it is the soil that contaminates them, a result of past human activity. This illustrates that it is not nature that poses a threat to humans but rather its humanity itself. I think Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind is clear in its environmental themes. It advocates for a complete shutdown of polluting activity to truly let nature recover through its natural processes. However, human restoration efforts are needed alongside reductions in harmful activity. 

Looking past this, I found Nausicaä to be an engaging and resilient protagonist. Her compassion and willingness to advocate for peaceful solutions is really inspiring. She works well in encapsulating the message of the film. I can see her being a great role model, especially for young girls, to more carefully view their actions through an environmental lens. The environment isn’t a tool for our disposal, but rather something to coexist with and protect.

[pookys-ponderings]

(Note that I didn't watch all the episodes of Evangelion, reqs + some extra) While I agree that Kaworu served as sort of a role model for Shinji during the time they spent together and this was why felt so betrayed learning that this confidence came from being an angel, I also think Kaworu had the important role of being the only person in the show who gave Shinji time to process what he was feeling and a space to be emotionally vulnerable. So naturally being the enemy was a betrayal, placing that time as a lie in Shinji's head. Afterwards we see him regret killing Kaworu deeply because that was the only person who let him be emotionally vulnerable, something I argue he really needed in a wash of characters who were non-understanding and demanding at every turn.

Neon Genesis Evangelion (part 2)

Revisiting the latter half of Neon Genesis Evangelion provided a different experience than my first viewing, which was when I was 14….so take that into consideration LOL. Moving past this, I want to continue discussing how Neon Genesis Evangelion addresses masculinity.

In this part of the show, the character of Asuka Langley is introduced. She is a German girl tasked with being the Second Child, unit 02’s pilot. She serves as a stark contrast to Shinji. Much like Gendo Ikari, Asuka exhibits many traits associated with hegemonic masculinity. She is confident, abrasive, and prideful—all attributes indicative of a “good” hegemonic masculine performance. Her eagerness to showcase her piloting skills and her willingness to engage in violence further emphasize her alignment with these ideals. Her introduction coincides with a moment when Shinji begins to feel he can somewhat conform to hegemonic ideals. However, Asuka’s competence only highlights how he struggles to fully embody these traits. It further demonstrates Shinji’s alignment with queer masculinity. 

In contrast, Kaworu Nagisa represents a queer masculine figure who differs from Shinji. While Shinji feels a sense of disapproval or self-hatred for his queer masculinity, Kaworu represents a socially accepted form of queer masculinity that is confident and self-assured. This dynamic significantly impacts Shinji. He can see a person who despite exhibiting queer masculinity still has a role and place within society. Additionally, their ambiguous relationship may also demonstrate Shinji’s gradual acceptance of his own queer masculinity. Kaworu’s supposed betrayal and subsequent death are significant. Shinji had to deal with the consequences of destroying an idealized version of queer masculinity, disrupting his own perception of himself as well. (But then Shinji goes into his mind palace in the last episodes and realizes maybe self-acceptance is cool! Congratulations! The last episodes and its visuals are confusing, to say the least)

Overall, the interactions between these characters deepen the show’s exploration of masculinity and identity, highlighting the struggles and conflicts inherent in conforming to or rejecting traditional gender norms. 

[pookys-ponderings]

I agree with your analysis that his father is a strong representation of the hegemonic masculinity, demanding he do violence. I also think it is important to remember though just how many characters expected and wanted him to violence: it was almost all of them, with no room for understanding and pressuring him into doing violence, something he was not naturally comfortable with, and only faked to relieve his fear of being hated if he did not meet expectations.

Neon Genesis Evangelion

I had already watched Neon Genesis Evangelion before this module. Despite its cult following, I don’t have a strong opinion on it. I find the art direction most compelling; the score, along with the mecha and environmental designs, creates an immersive experience. Other than that, I’ve never been deeply invested in the characters, though I do find its themes intriguing. Neon Genesis Evangelion explores many psychological topics and offers a nuanced discussion of masculinity.

The series addresses hegemonic masculinity, a gender practice that legitimizes traits such as dominance and aggression while marginalizing those who do not conform to these ideals, including women and men who are not traditionally independent or aggressive. Through its protagonist, Shinji Ikari, Evangelion presents a critique of these norms. Shinji exhibits traits that are the opposite of hegemonic masculinity, such as his reluctance to pilot the Evangelion and his generally meek behavior. He represents a queer masculine figure who challenges this idea of what it is to be traditionally masculine. The characters look down on him when he outwardly displays these traits, demonstrating the subordinate nature of men who do not align with hegemonic ideals. 

Shinji’s father, Gendo Ikari, in contrast, embodies hegemonic masculinity. He is a militaristic, authoritative figure who starkly advocates the need for violence and control. His relationship with Shinji and his treatment of Shinji shows the hierarchical dynamic in society presented by hegemonic masculinity. The contrast between father and son highlights the pressures of conforming to traditional masculine ideals. I also found the comparison between Amuro Ray from Mobile Suit Gundam and Shinji interesting. Both are protagonists in mecha anime, yet they are complete opposites. While Amuro quickly assimilates into his role and engages in hegemonic masculinity, Shinji consistently rebukes and tries to avoid the responsibilities placed upon him. Overall, although I’m not deeply invested in the show, I do think it holds merit upon my rewatch.

[pookys-ponderings]

Something important that I think you may have missed is the narrative overall, especially the positive plot point. I know I missed it the first time, I was too bewildered by the visual content to understand or process any amount of metaphors, and it was very late.

Shinji tries desperately for hegemonic masculinity for brief moments in the beginning of the film, in the middle when he is stuck in the Eva, and when he strangles Asuka, and otherwise he fully just gives up and the entire time focused on him is dedicated to that. I think his lowest point is when he wishes for all of humanity to die and for him to die as well, knowing full well that the things he did were bad, hating himself for doing them, and hating the world for expecting him to do such things. However when Rei and Kaworu give him an opportunity to talk and time for him to realize what he really values, something nobody but Kaworu offered him during the show, he gains the courage to reinstate humanity and the separation of minds, even though that separation of minds will cause him pain. Then we see him crumbling again strangling Asuka at the end of the movie, tempering our expectations of a 'happy' ending.

End of Evangelion

I skipped on watching the Neon Genesis Evangelion movies when I was younger and I’m kinda grateful I did, to be honest. While the original show exhibits some unsuitable content, End of Evangelion definitely has content 14-year-old me would be shocked by. I guess that plays into the movie's darker themes regarding identity and masculinity. The End of Evangelion is an alternative ending to the final two episodes of Neon Genesis Evangelion. 

Rather than presenting a narrative where Shinji accepts his queer masculinity, EOE Shinji still strives towards hegemonic masculinity. His actions towards Asuka highlight this struggle throughout the movie’s run time. The most infamous scene in the hospital (aka omg there were other ways to achieve the same impact but ok…) has Shinji partaking heavily in hegemonic masculinity. Throughout the original show, Shinji never objectifies a woman, a prominent hegemonic masculine trait, but EOE presents a reality where he does just that. He looks upon Asuka’s naked body and does not view her as a subject. She becomes an object for his own arousal aligning with the idea that he is superior and she is an inferior object. After finishing, Shinji feels nothing but disgust for his previous actions, again aligning himself with queer masculinity. Then in his dream realm ?? Shinji confronts Asuka, a figure of hegemonic masculinity, and strangles her. He is at the same time rebuking hegemonic masculinity while being an active participant in it through this violence. Ultimately, he breaks down after this, demonstrating the cyclical nature of his internal struggle towards hegemonic masculinity. This again is reflected in the final scene of the movie. 

Ultimately, EOE offers a bleaker interpretation of masculinity and self-acceptance. It offers no easy answers, instead laying bare the harsh realities and internal conflicts that can accompany the pursuit of understanding oneself while trying to find a place within society.

[pookys-ponderings]

Xenoblade Chronicles 2

In the beginning, we're introduced to the main character Rex and his ship/companion titan, Gramps. Rex's job seems to be a Salvager, fishing for old relics and useful items submerged in the deep. Rex and Gramps talk about the state of the world, where people were once living in harmony in the great tree, now all creatures live strictly on titans. They lament that it would be great to live in harmony, and then immediately after he says "Back to making money!". This is a sign of environmental objectification: the wish for a better future in harmony with everything that exists, but the daily and long goal functioning of his business (and human business as a whole) are separate matters in his brain.

However, as evidenced by his talk with Nia, he really does care that titans are going down and feels sorry for the animals that could have been on one he personally saw go down.

However, by this point he has accepted a job with very little understanding of the client and job requirements and agreed to work with a team of people he doesn't know, because of the large sum of money he was offered to do it.

Jin stabs him in the back, literally, after touching what they called the Aegis, in a room with a girl encased in a tube. Aside from Nia, none of them protest.

Rex wakes up in a lush, far-reaching grass field and the girl from the tube, Pyra who he recognizes as a 'Blade' describes the place they are in as a memory of Elysium, the place where humans were created and lived in peace. She also tells him he is dead, but requests that he take half her lifeforce and herself as a sword to the real Elysium and save the world.

Later they meet Malos, who they learn is trying to destroy the world. Rex decides that he will stop Malos and reach Elysium. When they get to Elysium however, the place is barren, and when they meet their creator the Architect, they learn that he was a human from a dimension simliar to ours. This dimension's humanity had destroyed their earth and were going through space wars. Klaus decided he would open a conduit to another world, and by doing so ruined the world that he had connected to. So he decided to create new life in the form of the Core Crystals, Titans and eventual humans. Realizing destruction was repeating itself, he resigned to let it be, but after meeting the main characters resolve and desire for a better world he helped them fight Malos. Pneuma (who is also Pyra but a truer version of her) sacrifices herself to destroy the world tree so that its collapse would not harm the planet. The rest of the characters come back down, note that the clouds are gone and that the titans are forming one landmass, and remark that 'Elysium was here all along'.

The important thing about this is that throughout the entire journey all the characters were desperately striving to reach a place they thought would bring peace, just for that place to be simply where they started. Their efforts to find a better world turned out to be the catalyst that restored their existing world.

[pookys-ponderings]

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

We open the movie being introduced to Nausicaa, a lively young girl who is in tune with the dangerous nature of the Sea of Decay, able to see where the survival value lies in the forest and even taming an enraged giant monster that was chasing after Yupa, as well as generally enjoying the environment. One person of the village expresses that they don't like seeing her go to the forest, as it makes him sick with worry. Other villagers understand that she is very skilled and brings back valuable resources for them. It seems that the Sea of Decay is growing, and that it consumed two entire countries to the south, according to Yupa and his travels to know what mysteries lie behind the phenomenon. The village is greeted by a crashed ship, whose visibility was blocked by larvae due to their killing of insects. It holds a lump of flesh that Yupa and another villager surmise to be sleeping giant, capable of destruction. Their arrival spreads spores on their crops which have to be burned. The militaristic Tolmekian society then comes with more ships amd forcefully takes over the peaceful village, killing their leader and Nausicaa's father Jihl, though the leader says they "just want to talk", and that their arrival "will unite the lands in peace", despite the village being peaceful before they showed up. She claims that they can burn the Sea of Decay away, and the old woman retorts that attempts to do so in the past were simply increasing the hold that the Sea had on the planet. Later, before Nausicaa and other hostages accompany the society away from the village, she reveals that the Sea of Decay is not caused by the spores themselves, but by the pollution affecting quality of water and earth that is present on most of the planet. Later, Nausicaa and the boy she saved find that the spore forests are actually purifying the water and earth from the effects of toxins, and that the fighting that between Pejita, Tolmekian, and the Valley is all useless, and that the plan to use the Giant Warrior is their doom. They come to a clash and create lots of destruction before she can come back home, with the Pejita's leading the Ohms to the Tolmekians by kidnapping a baby Ohm. The Giant is awakened by the Tolmekian princess and its destruction is that similar to a nuclear bomb, instantly taking out some of the Ohms, and sounds of radiation on Gieger counters indicate the nuclear effect. The monster does another explosion, but because it was brought out too soon it melts away. The Ohms continue on, enraged, ignoring Nausicaa's peace offer, but after a moment, they understand (presumably because she saved the baby earlier) and heal her body.

Ultimately this story is critiquing the rash, single-minded prospect of 'victory' and war against a natural force that is not greatly understood, and how that misunderstanding comes back to bite the people advocating for destruction. Ultimately, the destruction just makes things worse for them, as they are destroying something that is actually doing the planet as a whole a favor. There are not many people willing to wait for new information or to listen to new information at all, acting out of self-righteousness or vengeance.

[pookys-ponderings]

Neon Genesis Evangelion: The End of Evangelion

The movie was a bit of a whirlwind, and it was very hard to comprehend at first. And it's honestly depressing and messed up and visually out of left field with all the metaphors but I do appreciate it for what it is. At the beginning of the movie, Shinji has given up completely, becoming unresponsive to everyone around him even when he is in danger of being killed. He simply is at a point where he hates the people and environment around him enough that force him into hegemonic masculinity that he no longer seems to care. Then, we see scenes that establish Asuka as the metaphor for people who adhere to hegemonic masculinity, as even when her Eva is devoured by angels and she is on the brink of death, she repeats "I'll kill you, I'll kill you" over and over again. At this (for some reason, I don't completely understand), Shinji's Eva wakes up and takes Shiji away. Once again, he is forced into the Eva, into this position of violence once again and seeing Asuka's mutilated Eva, he screams (hes right you know). The angels create an anti-AT field and Shinji is at the center of what will be the third impact and what will bring the Human Instrumentality Project's success. After telling Shinji's dad to buzz off, Big Rei goes to Shinji and Shinji screams. The Say that destroying Shinji's ego will bring the unity of humanity through their plan to unite humanity in primordial soup, one giant entity with collective souls. The angels begin merging with Big Rei, distorting her. Shinji again screams as he thrusts 01's controls, I think another last ditch effort / metaphor (for sex) to cling onto masculinity. He then says he can't take it anymore, after which he sees Kaworu, and he lets go of his ego which allows them to merge. These two events in succession mirror what happened in the show with him trying for masculinity and then dropping it when realizing he just cannot fake it, while also progressing the primordial soup. Later on, when the souls can communicate with each other and / or visions are happening, Asuka and get into a disagreement about communication and not understanding each other, and Asuka says that if she can't have all of him, she doesn't want anything from him, demanding that he respond in a particular way again. Shinji wants them to be unambiguous and gentle about what they want, the girls retort that ambiguity hides trauma, he retorts back that the ambiguity keeps him in a teetering, fearful state that maybe nobody will care for him at the drop of a hat. He begs them to not leave him and to care for him. He wants to stay with Asuka, but Asuka says that he only hurts him. Once again he begs for her to help him, she refuses and calls him pathetic because anyone will do, but its easier to bring to Asuka. He then gets violent with the table, begging Asuka, "Help me! Don't leave me alone! Don't abandon me! Please don't kill me!". Asuka flatly once again says no to his request. He then attempts to kill her via strangling. This whole encounter is Shinji begging the embodiment of hegemonic masculinity (Asuka) to accept him and it denies, and he caves into hegemonic masculinity again while also trying to kill it by attacking Asuka. He now believes he and the world (which legitimizes the hegemonic masculinity he hates) should all die. But Shinji comes to a point where he still doesn't want the AT-field (the thing that separates human minds, separates their understanding of eachother, which causes him pain) because he wants to exist as an individual. He is still afraid, and he knows he will feel pain again at points in his life, but he realizes his feelings in the higher moments were great and prioritizes those moments over primordial understanding. So the Eva emerges from Big Rei as her body dies, stopping the plan. He expresses that he has doubts. And then it kind of happens again at the end of the movie, him killing Asuka.

It seems that Shinji truly cannot survive in this hegemonic masculine circus alone…

[pookys-ponderings]

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Part 2

Asuka is introduced as Shinji's thematic foil; she is a seemingly confident girl skilled at piloting the her Eva and wants to eradicate the angel on her own terms and without explicit permission. She bosses people around, is rude, and doesn't hesitate to use violence when she deems it appropriate. These are all seemingly hegemonic masculine tendencies that Shinji lacks. The relationship between Asuka and Shinji is interesting. Asuka tends to bully and belittle him, even saying 'aren't you a man?' in episode 9 just like Misato did in episode 1. Shinji usually just takes the beratement, but he does sometimes push back verbally, escalating the situation into a fight. In this same episode, Asuka's insecurity that she masks starts to slip with her failures in battle and with Rei and Shinji seemingly being a better synchronized pair, and her getting a worse score than Shinji. During this time it also seems that Shinji is getting more confident, but as he slips into unconsciousness, it's revealed that he is still afraid of being hated by other people and not living up to their standards, and wants to cling onto the small amount of praise and keep trying to be more what they want instead of accepting himself as he is. The alter self that is talking to him says that he blocks out things he doesn't want to hear, followed by Misato's line of "Who cares what others say?". It is evident that Shinji's view of his own self-worth is highly affected by the other people's perceptions and expectations of him, and that this transition attempting to exhibit a more forceful masculinity is simply a desperate attempt to remedy his insecurity of not living up to those external views of him. His reasoning is that if he can keep performing and meeting those expectations, then he can be happy. But his alter self rebuts that he cannot live "by linking just enjoyable moments like a rosary". The self wants Shinji to embrace how he is and how everyone else will react regardless of what they do in order to not be so self-deprecating all the time.

Also something I found interesting is that Kaworu seemed to be the only person who ever would externally validate Shinji. None of the men or women around him valued his passivity at all and were always demanding hegemonic masculinity of him.

[pookys-ponderings]

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Part 1

Its worth noting that I didn't watch any episodes in depth outside of the required ones.

Shinji is definitely a case of someone who doesn't fit within the normative straight masculine standard and neither does he fit in the gay masculine standard, the definition of a queer masculinity.

Shinji is a meek boy, who both finds very little interest in hegemonic masculinity and also can't really perform it well when he tries.

In the first episode, the people around him are pressuring and expecting him to pilot the Eva. First, he simply denies their request, stating that 'he can't do it', a rejection, admittedly because he knows he can't perform the forcefulness and dominating mannerisms war and hegemonic masculinity requires. He is very much not someone who can naturally fight or be very forceful in any manner, and this is shown to be true through his first fight, where he is knocked out pretty much immediately and the Eva wins the fight by going berzerk.

We can see also that he just finds very little interest in performing hegemonic masculinity because his male friends who are both shown to be more traditionally masculine envy Shinji's position as someone who is able to pilot a giant mecha live with an older woman. However Shinji denies his friend's envy, saying that his mother would be worried if he piloted. We also see that Shinji doesn't have the typical response to living with women or interacting with women that other more forceful men might have. He doesn't act weird or gawk when he and Misato are just sitting and talking at her apartment in comfortable clothing. When Shinji goes to meet Rei and the… interesting scene happens, we learn a lot from his reactions. From initially being totally stunned, struggling to remember why he was there, to sneaking looks as Rei dresses, we can see Shinji is attracted to Rei. However when Rei snaps him out of his… trance, he recoils at having touched her breast, and does not make any advancements, rather explaining why he was there. In this instance, he exhibits heterosexual interest, but by not making advancements, he denies degenerate and immoral behavior in the form of sexual assault. By doing this he simultaneously rejects hegemonic masculinity, as sexual assault appeals to willful and dominating hegemonic masculinity.

However I also find it interesting his behavior after the incident. Once she is dressed, he follows her to give her card to her but also seemingly out of a personal interest, as once she takes the card, he continues to follow her without her request and tries to initiate small talk after an apology. Its definitely not hegemonic super-domination, but he is exhibiting some weird forceful behavior by following her after something like that.

[pookys-ponderings]

DustyBunny actually did end up winning first place in novice! It's one of the first few after credits things they talk about after the documentary reaches it's conclusions.

While I don't think I would personally do lolita fashion on my own, I honestly really like the whole frilly aesthetic and I understand the hype for it, and if a friend asked me to do it with them I probably would. I've always kind of really just loved characters though, so I would rather go to cosplay instead of generalized fashion movement.

Convention Post: True Otaku

I haven’t had the opportunity to go to an anime convention or any convention yet, so I’ll be discussing the documentary True Otaku in its place. This documentary provided a broader perspective on Otaku culture and fandom compared to the last module’s focus on Genshiken. It effectively highlighted the diverse nature of fans and the various ways they express their passions.

A major focus of the documentary was on how conventions and fandoms offer a sense of community that is often missing from everyday life. These events create a space where attendees can exchange shared interests and immerse themselves in their fandoms without fear of judgment. This environment allows passionate expressions of support, such as cosplay—short for “costume play”—to be celebrated rather than criticized. While I haven’t yet attended a convention, I’ve experienced the positive aspects of fandom culture through my involvement in online art communities. These communities, centered around shows and media, have been very welcoming in my experience. Many of my closest friends have been made through discussions and participation in fandom culture. However, I’m aware that some artists, particularly those who are younger or less experienced, may face criticism or exclusion. Despite this, the supportive nature of these interactions underscores why conventions may hold such importance for many fans.

Another significant component of the documentary was its focus on cosplay. I admire the creativity and effort that goes into crafting detailed and accurate costumes. The documentary provided a fascinating look at how cosplay allows individuals to express their love for their favorite characters and stories in a tangible way. Seeing the dedication and skill of cosplayers was inspiring and highlighted how cosplay is more than just dressing up—it's a form of artistic expression and identity. I especially liked the insight into cosplay competitions, which aren’t usually showcased in such detail. I was left wondering if the cosplayer mentioned in the documentary, DustBunny, won anything at the event. 

It was also delightful to see Lolita fashion featured in the documentary. Although I’m not actively involved in the Lolita community, I find it, along with other J fashion subcultures such as Gyaru and Visual Kei, to be of great interest. In some respects, my fascination with these fashion styles now even surpasses my interest in anime and manga. Seeing Lolita garments showcased at conventions is particularly exciting because Lolita boutiques and brands have limited presence in the U.S. Conventions offer a rare opportunity for participants and fans to see and purchase these pieces in person. However, I’ve heard from Lolita enthusiasts that these items are often priced drastically  higher at conventions, which can be a drawback of market vendors. Despite this, being able to view these garments up close before buying them is a valuable experience. If I ever attend a convention, I plan to explore these fashion vendors. I’ve created art featuring various fashion styles and am especially interested in gothic Lolita fashion. While assembling a complete Lolita “coordinate” or outfit seems daunting and expensive at the moment, it remains a future goal of mine (that hopefully I will get the guts one day to complete).

In closing, True Otaku offered an insightful view into fandom culture and conventions, highlighting the sense of community and self-expression they foster. It has deepened my appreciation for the various ways fans engage with their interests and has increased my enthusiasm to experience these events firsthand in the future. One aspect the documentary didn’t mention all that thoroughly was artist alleys. If I were to go to a convention, I would probably only spend my time there… my poor wallet will need to be prepared. 

[pookys-ponderings]

Convention: True Otaku

I've always kind of been involved in fandom culture from a young age, mostly because I was always an art kid. For me, the internet art space and fandom are largely interchangeable due to just how much overlap there is, especially in the last 5 years where fandom and fandom art is getting mainstream. My personal experience with the space started with my digital animal drawing phase at 12 years old on a children's coding platform called Scratch. On this platform, I made a friend around the same age as me that I would discuss art and characters with, do art trades, and follow art trends like 'animation memes' together using the animal characters we would make up. Because of this, I've always been kind of familiar with this idea of community-centered content and making that content your own through your art.

Today, my fandom interactions consist of enjoying anime, discussing it, and making fanart with that same friend I made on that platform, 8 years later (as well buying merch for shows here and there). This person has become my great friend, and as a byproduct of the kind of content we grew up on, also like my 'fandom outlet' to talk about all the things I've become fixated on at any moment. I have seen people in fandom that make cliques on art-fandom-friendly places like Twitter, Tumblr, or Instagram whose online friends tend to move on once their fixation on the media or fandom dies out, and this is probably the sad reality of what It would have been like for me if not for my good friend and the great times we've had talking to one another, so I'm really thankful for them.

Aside from anime, sometimes I draw those old characters of mine for nostalgia and appreciation for the characters, but otherwise I like to focus on generating anime fanart or coming up with new original content centered around human characters. I think I personally enjoy fandom activities because it allows me to express my love for a piece of media and bring new life into it by making it my own while I am simultaneously challenging myself to be creative. Mostly though, it's one of my consistently favorite things to bring my interests to another person and discuss it and enjoy it together. It goes beyond a connection with a piece of media that might be fleeting into a connection with other people that can continually respond to you and enjoy your company.

My interactions on social media have been modest ever since I graduated from Scratch territory, 1) because I was focused on online safety for a majority of my childhood, and 2) by the time I was confident enough to put myself out on mainstream social media to a degree, my friend had already kind of fulfilled the need that social media provides. So the extent of my interactions on these platforms have been mostly just liking art and fanart I admire and posting a new art piece to get like 1 like on Twitter, which I have become perfectly happy with receiving.

Despite being casually involved in fandom for the majority of my life, I've never actually attended a convention despite wanting to in these later years. I've always liked halloween and dressing up to become a character, and I know I would love cosplay and attending conventions. A few years back in high school, I even made (with my mom's help) a costume of pretty niche video game character, Hornet from Hollow Knight (niche, considering I was just going to walk around the neighborhood). The whole experience was exactly how everyone described the experience of cosplaying in the True Otaku documentary: making the costume is a lot of hard work and trial and error, especially if you're a novice, but the end result is that you get to become immersed in and play the part of a character you really like. And surprisingly, even though I was just walking around the neighborhood and most people didn't really get it, there were a few that did and those people and their enthusiasm have always stuck out in my mind.

If I ever went to a convention in the future, which I think I'll probably do at some point when I'm not as busy with other things, I'll definitely be cosplaying something, either my already established Hornet costume or a character from an anime I like.

[pookys-ponderings]

I personally really appreciated that Usagi wasn't a perfect person, shes actually an interesting character with obvious flaws and quirks, and someone who embraces her femininity fully. I think this honestly bolsters the message that women are able to do what they set out to because it humanizes her and legitimizes girls who embrace femininity. I kind of dislike more recent depictions of a strong woman character like Captain Marvel, who don't have obvious flaws. Characters like this kind of just feel like a 'girl power' shill to me rather than an actual depiction of a nuanced person.

Sailor Moon

I’ve only ever seen clips of Sailor Moon prior to this assignment, so I’m happy I was able to watch a bit of the show for the first time! I’m a big fan of the visuals and aesthetic of the magical girl genre in general. Watching this iconic series in genre just made that even more apparent. I loved the vibrant colors and expressive style of the show, it kept me invested all the way through. Most importantly, Sailor Moon embodies the idea of Girl Power presented by 3rd wave feminism.  

The show follows middle-schooler Usagi Tsukino, who receives powers from a mysterious cat to become Sailor Moon. She is tasked to defeat numerous villains and protect the world from evil while still managing her school life. I personally loved Usagi’s character, she acts like a middleschool girl, never losing sight of herself, despite her responsibilities. She gets easily frustrated, isn’t the greatest in school, cries a lot, etc., but in the end she manages to save the day. Her femininity and other seemingly “non heroic” traits aren’t pushed aside; rather they are the source of her empowerment. Her brooch being the source of her transformation I think underscores this perfectly. She is quite literally deriving power for a feminine object, breaking apart the societal notion that “girly” items and propensities should be frowned upon. Overall, Usuagi is still able to enjoy femininity, while demonstrating both strength and resilience, a key idea when addressing the concept of Girl Power. 

Though there may be critiques on how the show addresses feminism as a whole, ultimately I believe it does an excellent job in empowering women, especially its target audience of young school girls. It effectively shows that girls can be powerful while staying true to their authentic selves and celebrating their unique qualities. 

[pookys-ponderings]

Let me guess, was it season 5 where you had problems with the character writing? I'd probably agree there. Haida was all over the place.

I think it was a really interesting and honestly good choice on the showmakers' part to have Retsuko be a character that dislikes the traditionally feminine role she has to play out in the workplace, but she also looks forward to things like marriage when she comes to the conclusion she wants it for herself. It both fleshes her out as a character who does not fit into any one box, but also reflects the real world reality that some people may like and prefer to adhere to some gender expectations and reject others that make them feel devalued.

Aggretsuko

I had already watched most of Aggretsuko previously, but coming back to it was an entertaining experience! I love the character writing (for most of the seasons, lol) and the designs of the show; my rewatch made me appreciate these aspects even more. Additionally, the story and its characters feel relatable to a broad audience to some extent. While much of the show is comedic and lighthearted, Aggretsuko manages to realistically depict themes of both gender and workplace inequality throughout its runtime.

Aggretsuko follows Retsuko, an accountant at a strenuous job, and her perspective as she navigates adulthood. In light of life stresses, Retsuko finds solace in singing death metal at her local karaoke bar. Her main source of stress is her job (very relatable, if I might add), where she has to deal with her boss, Mr. Ton's, sexist remarks and abrasive behavior. This reflects real-world job environments. Though there have certainly been reductions in workplace sexism, its remnants are still very much present, and men like Mr. Ton can be seen across industries.

Not only that, but the show provides insight into the idea of gender roles and stereotypes. Retsuko feels the need to hide her passion for death metal; she secludes herself from the public and confines her “secret” to a very select number of friends. Retsuko grapples with the idea that this interest does not align with her perceived gender identity. Her femininity seemingly cannot coexist with her belting out death metal songs. Additionally, Retsuko struggles with her place in life and has an underlying worry that she must get married and start a family soon. This, of course, is another expression of what society perceives to be a woman's role. In general, the show cleverly intertwines these themes, making it not just entertaining but also thought-provoking.

[pookys-ponderings]

Aggretsuko

I really love Aggretsuko, and I loved revisiting it so much that I couldn't really help myself and watched all five seasons when I saw that we had to watch it. It's honestly just a fun time with good characters, but it also does offer some commentary on gender.

Aggretsuko is about a woman named Retsuko who hates her job and uses death metal music and singing it as a way to vent about her strife in her life. At work, she's often devalued and belittled by her boss, Ton, who has a very traditional expectation of how a woman should behave and the kind of work they should do. In order to not get fired from the company, she takes the barrage of insults in a meek way, does not push back, and does what Ton says. Later, she'll death scream out her woes and come up with insults that she won't say to his face (except for that one episode where they all got drunk during a work party). In this way, her behavior as feminine can be interpreted as a masking technique, where her true self would be the death metal loving rebel, and her fake performative self would be meek and traditionally feminine. This is more in line with second wave feminism sentiments. While she may be masking some parts of her identity using the femininity society expects out of her, it's clear she doesn't wholly reject those expectations in full. When she thinks about what she really wants, even after coming to the conclusion that marriage isn't really the escape from her job that she wanted, she still wants to fall in love and have a marriage. This may be more in line with third wave feminism sentiments, as it signifies that she is adhering to feminine 'gender performance' for herself.