poptartmatty

[poptartmatty]

White Christmas (1954) dir. Michael Curtiz Costume Design by Edith Head

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tumblr is also like this

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No offense but where are the male porn bots

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Like to charge reblog to cast

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A little drunk and sad and lonely and watching Love Victor 😔

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I don’t like going places by myself, but omg I’m bored and tired of staying at home

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Oops I accidentally wine and Degrassi 🤣

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Also I accidentally ended up at the club tonight and I have to be at the office at 9:30am tomorrow morning 🥴

And I’m not in bed yet and can already tell I’m going to be hungover tomorrow morning

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I wish I was a hot gay

I feel like it will be impossible for me to have a partner at my current weight

I would have already been married at like 25 and have multiple children at this point if I were straight

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My manager specifically asked me to spend my entire shift yesterday editing and revising the content for a major project (our team is trying to launch it in the next few weeks), which I did.

Only to find out that another person on the project made some major changes to the content that basically makes most of my content revisions unusable.

Few things make me as irrationally angry than putting in 110% effort (on Christmas week no less) to have someone change the entire project during my scheduled off days and severely limit the scope of my contributions.

Why ask me to work on the content if you’re so impatient that you can’t wait to make your changes until after my work week starts?!

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I’m so tired of my life being 5-10 years behind a lot of people I know. Wishing I had the resources and support that many others had as a teen and young adult.

At the same time, I feel like I’m 80 sometimes. I’ve had so much responsibility placed on me at such a young age that I was taking in adult problems as a child.

I’m trying to find my real personality, to live without abandon, but then responsibility pulls me back down to earth. A fantasy is just a fantasy, but having no responsibility for a bit might be helpful and validating?

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Hearing some of the new coworkers talking at work about speeding tickets and somesuch, to discover that a lot of them are between 23-25 and have/had some rather fancy cars and wow I feel old and poor.

And thinking about the privilege it seems that some of them must have had (an assumption that may not be true) to be so sure of themselves at this point in their lives.

(I also may have said too much about my own mental health to a coworker when we were in a meeting today, including the fact that I hated my job… probably too dramatic but I’ve been depressed as hell lately, mostly because of this job and the fact that I’m not a good employee right now and that’s making it even harder to convince myself to do better… 😭😭😭)

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Started talking to a cute (and seeming very nice) guy on Grindr while out in Ft. Worth last night, that invited me over, while I was already heading back to my parents house.

We kept talking though and were making plans to hangout tonight instead (on my way back to Austin), and I was looking forward to it, until he mentions that he thinks he has a cold!!!

No sir!!!

I am not making out (or more) with someone that has a cold or possibly something stronger than a cold. I’m vaccinated and booster’d, but that doesn’t cover a cold lol

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I’m so unhappy and desperately wish that wasn’t the case

Some good things and people in my life, but I don’t know how to not dissociate during my working hours/days

My performance has slipped enough that my boss has noticed and mentioned it to me in our last meeting. He’s been very nice about things and very understanding, but keeps asking how to make things better/help me make things better.

The responsibilities of this role will never change enough to be healthy for me.

I hate my job so much and feel trapped. I can’t leave for another 6 months without having to pay back thousands of dollars.

Transferring to another team/org is possible, but none of the open positions I’ve found seem any better.

I literally had a dream last week that I BEGGED my old job to take me back because I feel so disappointed and fundamentally unsatisfied with my job.

Even the good things in my life can’t seem to outweigh the massive pain that work is causing.

I feel so trapped and just want to run away and just… be. Just exist. Just do something for myself, but I don’t know what. I romanticize the past more than I should, but it’s the only thing that gets me through the present sometimes. 😭😭😭😭😞😞😞

(disclaimer: not going to harm myself or anyone else, just really depressed and putting my feelings down)