portalstan - Tumblr blog

[portalstan]

▽. HEADCANON : NOTES AND TRINKETS

During the first handful of years within the portal, Stanley kept a list of cool things he'd seen throughout the multiverse. He'd write within the margins of Journal 1 and, when that ran out, he'd manage to steal some kind of notebook that would then become a record of both things he'd encountered and his own thoughts and feelings.

Alongside his notes, he'd collect souvenirs. Keep them in his pockets, and once his pockets weren't enough, he'd carry them around in whatever bag or satchel he could get his hands. Each time it'd get lost or stolen, he'd start a new collection as soon as he could. It didn't matter if it was inconvenient or impractical, because there was no way he'd let this once in a lifetime opportunity for his brother slip by ( again ).

He could already see the look on Ford's face when ( when. it was when ) Sixer brought him back and found out that Stanley had brought him all kinds of alien trinkets for him to study or admire, and all the bullshit that’d happened between them couldn’t get in the way of that.

…He told himself that, at least. For a good while. But eventually, the little ratty notebooks he’d been using filled up, then the records dwindling until it stopped altogether. He’s not sure when he’d stopped, he’d lost track of time far before then, and if you asked him, he’d claim he’d never written jackshit in the first place. Yet the notebook remains in his pockets, right next to the Journal that’d started this whole mess. The souvenirs, on the other hand, never fully stopped. After all, habits die hard, and sometimes something just screamed Stanford so loudly Stanley couldn't help but nab it.

Yet his bag and its countless replacements stopped being filled with alien toys or plants or writings, and instead began to be filled with weapons, valuables, and technology he could barely understand and yet desperately hoped could bring him that little bit closer to his ticket home.

[portalstan]

$.   See, this was what he was talking about !  This was what was wrong. The whole, standoffishness. As if they weren't  ( speaking as one )  brothers. Sure, it was to be expected with what happened when. When—  he grimaced, the feeling of memories slipping around in his skull, foggy and not quite  ( his )  right catching him off guard. Fucking red doors—

     Get it together, Stanley. He was. He was just overthinking things. His twin just needed his cup of coffee, maybe ten. Sixer had always been a zombie in the morning. There was nothing more to it, because Stanford didn’t know.

     ( But he could. He could know. )

“ Oh, uh, heh. You— you know, ”   Stanley cringed at the way his own words fumbled out clumsily. With a quiet huff, he shook his head to try and get rid of the cobwebs clogging the place before walking towards Ford with a stubborn gait, gesturing vaguely towards the other’s hand,   “ Gimme some of that. ”

     He didn’t actually steal from Ford’s cup directly — didn’t feel like getting punched this early in the morning, especially after last night, thanks — instead moving around so he could pour some for himself.

“ C’mon, Pointdexter, you know what I’m on about, ”   he snickered, letting morning light remind him of what normal used to be, sounding far more grounded —  awake  — than a second ago,   “ You barely ever get out of the house. When’s the last time you even talked to someone in this place ?  Like, actually talked to someone, Ford. Sure, the people here ?  They’re idiots, but they’re harmless. You’d like them. ”

     His voice was warm, but his eyes stayed fixed on his mug as he spoke.

     Couldn't Stanford hear them ?  The others. The Song—  Pft, of course Ford could  ( he didn’t want to think about what it might mean if Ford didn’t because if he didn’t — )  he did. It was just. Something was wrong with Stanley. Like always. But dammit if he wasn’t going to fix it.

“ You could stand to get out some more, meet some people, join a… I don’t know, some kinda nerd club. People are going to start thinking you’re a damn vampire or something at this rate. ”

The man is stood by the coffee machine, peering out of the window and in deep contemplation. There's a great obstacle before him, one that he has to unravel while they've still time—but all these wires are tangled and crossed, and he doesn't know where to begin. Amidst the supernatural discourse that surrounds the children, they have no plan, no course of action... at least, not yet. Who knows what those voices keep to themselves? Stanford had seldom been one to trust just about anything that would come from cosmic beings who could will the world the way they wanted, but he had no choice.

This had to stop. This all had to stop, because soon, they won't be able to stop it at all.

Placing his mug back on the counter, he turns to peer behind him at the sound of footsteps. His eyes scan the exhausted form of his brother, leaned against the door frame and some semblance between dead and alive. He looks like Hell, that is what Ford can see, but he doesn't comment on it. Simply ponders, stares for a moment before he turns back to his coffee.

Stanford isn't a stupid man. Certainly, sometimes, he did misguided things, but he's quick to pick up on his brother's repeat behaviours. The basement footsteps in the night, the deprivation by morning. It has him on edge more than most, especially when it came to the kids. They had someone living with them that could usurp their whole operation... and they were letting the timebomb tick.

But it's not his fault.

“ What brings this on, Stanley? “ he diverts, eyes not moving from the window as he takes another sup of his coffee. His emotions are unreadable, form still.

[portalstan]

⛵︎.   " I cant believe this ! Left behind by my own brother ! I was there, askin' for help, and what do I get ? Laughed at ! " it doesn't matter if he's exaggerating or not, it's about the principle of matters gosh darnit !

[portalstan]

a slightly altered timeline.   send me  ‘ timeline ’  and a number and i will tell you how my muse and their life would have turned out in a life slightly altered compared to their canon one—same universe, but where something little, or something big, went differently.

the timeline in which they live an ideal life, had no opportunities taken from them, were subjected to nothing terrible, where they grew up to fulfil their full potential.

the timeline in which they never met who would become the most influential or important person in their life, or that person was taken from them before they were capable of forming memories.

the timeline in which something important to them happened in a different stage of life.

the timeline in which they knew beforehand of something they would have prevented if given the chance.

the timeline in which they continue on from the current point in their lives to the best happy ending that is within their reach, where nothing that has happened so far is negated but from now on, the happy things start piling up.

the timeline in which everything that could go wrong from this point on… does.

the timeline in which they never experience the loss that taught them something important.

the timeline in which they gain everything they want, except for the thing they wanted the most.

the timeline in which they live the life they currently see the most likely for them.

the timeline in which something big to them never happened.

the timeline in which something very little happened differently, but it changed a lot.

the timeline in which they had a person in their life when they needed one the most.

the timeline in which instead of the most influential person in their life, they had a person who had the complete opposite effect on them.

the timeline in which they took a chance they didn’t in canon.

the timeline in which they let a chance go by.

[portalstan]

▽.  That voice.

     His scowl faltered, brows furrowed in confusion and apprehension.

     That voice… He knew that voice, he— he knew it. Typically, recognizing a voice was bad news. He had a list of acquaintances or enemies that spanned the multiverse, but this… was different. It itched at part of his mind like some kind of rash. Giving him a sense of panic and a tightness in his chest that—

     He rounded the corner, confused when his eyes saw nothing, until they dropped down just a little bit lower onto a young, familiar face and—

“ Shit. ”

     The kid kept talking, but he didn’t quite process all of it beyond the first few words said— some kind of attempt at bravado, as if Stanley couldn’t see the way he was trembling—

“ Woah, woah, woah, kid, ”   his tone immediately softened — not quite warm, not quite gentle, but far from the aggression he showed a moment earlier. His body lowering into a crouch to try and stop himself from looming, his knuckleduster quickly stuffed away as if they’d burned him before he raised his one hand placatingly.

“ You’re, uh, ”   he cleared his throat, not really sure what he was doing or saying beyond the fact that  Ford was scared  and  Stanley was the one causing that  and  that was wrong,   “ You’re… hah, uh. Didn’t expect to see y— a kid here !  Aren’t kids supposed to go to sleep at like, sundown, or something ?  Where’re your parents ? ”

     He held back a grimace as the question slipped out before he could catch it. Axolotl. He didn’t even want to think about accidentally running into Ma or Pa on top of this, not when it’d been… he wasn’t sure how long it’d been, but it was long enough for it to be more than a little awkward.

@portalstan / cont!

The boy's nerves are shot, the hairs on his skin pricked on end as he clings to the rock for dear life. He has no idea where he is, when he is, and why – all he knows is that he's a VERY short stretch from the wrong place at the wrong time. His hands clench tightly around the time tape; if only he had known it would get him into this mess...

When the voice demands audience with him, he swallows the lump in his throat. Will he or won't he? The voice inside of him is screaming, telling him to shy away and hide. But if he does, wouldn't that anger the stranger even more? What's the point in hiding if the other knows he's there?

“ Prove it, “ his voice is firm, decided as he tries to a summon a courage he thinks his brother might have. He'd know how to deal with this... He pockets the contraption, taking a silent breath. “ If y'don't want trouble, y'won't mind showin' it, and maybe I'll give you m' name. “

[portalstan]

↪     𝑺𝑳𝑬𝑬𝑷𝒀 𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑳𝑶𝑾 .    (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  the  1999  film   “  sleepy hollow  ” .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary . )  

help ,  here  —  lend a hand .

just a moment ,  if i may  —

i stand up for sense  &  justice .

do make certain you meet with success .

such a day for such a sad farewell .

this is such a silly game .

be a sport  &  stop complaining !

play along ,  you must .

forgive me ,  i didn’t know .

we haven’t heard your name yet ,  friend .

you need some manners .

if we could speak alone ?

how much have your superiors bothered to tell you ?

you are horribly old - fashioned ,  aren’t you ?

feel free to form your own opinion ,  though it appears you already have .

it seems i’ve made matters worse .

i’ll leave you to your business .

excuse me  …  i should apologize .

is it me ,  or are you this nervous around all women ?

do be a dear  &  tell me all about it .

sounds like an extraordinary place to live a life .

there is no such thing as magic .

to call a person superstitious is to imply they fear magic .

poets have silly notions .

you do believe me now ,  don’t you ?

you need less big words ,  &  more common sense .

what the hell are you doing ?

i am not here for revenge .  i am here to bring justice .

i manage fine alone .

i deserve to help you .  don’t you see how much this means ?

what are you spying on ?

i beg you ,  no more ,  please .

i will not allow it .  i will not !

why was i not told of this ?

you should step outside .

sorry for disturbing you .  i thought a forgotten candle was burning .

having trouble sleeping ?

i have something to show you ,  if you have a moment .

these scars .  how did you get them ?

oh ,  you are hopeless .

i have a gift for you .  true magic which even you will not be able to deny .

are you saying i should be frightened ?

what will it take for you to realize this is no laughing matter ?

don’t be afraid  …  don’t be afraid .

you promised justice .  people have put their trust in you .

why would you do such a thing ?

leave me .  you are not welcome here .

allow me some time .

the things i said to you before  …  i was wrong to say them .

every word you spoke had truth in it .

if you want me to go ,  i will .  do you want me to leave ?

i no longer know what i think or what i feel .

why are you so afraid ?  is there truly such harm in uncertainty ?

i should be going  …  good day to you .

i’m one of the few people who likes you .

i apologize if i worried you .

my god  …  what has happened ?

yes ,  i did notice that ,  thank you .

i am a bad habit .  there’s nothing for it .

don’t let him get you .

lay still ,  [ name ] .  do not move .

i’m drawing bad blood from the wound .

you were half - drowned when they found you .

i serve a fine purpose alive .

midnight seems an appropriate time .

hide in my room  &  bolt the door til i return .

i was getting worried .

do you have anything to clean it with ?

i know you saw me .

i know you followed me last night .

i appreciate your concern .

you are so upset now  …  &  yet ,  you seemed in such good spirits last night .

why have i not seen your face for so long ?

i have been reading your journal .

what would you have me believe ?

if you think i am behind this ,  say it .

call me a liar ,  then ,  &  a  murderer .

what is stopping you ?  what has happened to your ability to transcend sentimentality ?

don’t dare stand looking as if you still care for me ,  after all that you have said .

if i were to confess ,  would that ease your suffering ?  would that make it easier for you to hate me ?

the next person to lay hands on me will have a bullet .

you do not know all that has happened .

why  …  why are you like this ?

to hell with this place  &  all the people here .

won’t you change your mind ?  what can i say to convince you ?

take me with you .  there’s nothing left for me here .

forgive me .  i failed you .

you  …  you’re alive .

no one will believe your lies .

i am not going to kill you .  not me  …

you cannot kill what is already dead .

[portalstan]

' don't talk. just keep quiet and... let me think. '

$. IN THE ASHES.

$.   Just one day, one day where the kids don’t get themselves into some kind of supernatural trouble. One day without zombies or dinosaurs or whatever. One day, that's all he asked for. But no, no !  Of course not !

     Stanley had been a hair away from scolding Dipper — or rather, asking the little nerd what the hot belgian waffles was going on — when he’d been hurried into the nearest room with a series of hushed whispers that his hearing aids couldn’t quite catch.

     Yeesh. Kids these days. They had no respect for authoritarian figures.

     He was so proud of them.

     But that didn’t change the fact that he was an old man with old man joints that were not happy with the current situation, or the fact that he really had better things to do, or the fact that — even if he’d sooner give discounts at the Mystery Shack than admit it — Dipper’s anxiety always put Stanley on edge.

     Still, he finally caught something comprehendible from his great-nephew. And sure. He’d give Dipper a few minutes.

“ ...Yeah, no, ”   Stanley huffed out after a few seconds, doing the great courtesy of keeping his voice to somewhat a whisper as he moved to stand up, putting himself between the door and Dipper as best he could,   “ Kid, I’ve been living here for years, and I’ve never met something I couldn’t punch out of the Shack. Here’s the deal, you can keep thinking of something with that diary of yours, and I’ll actually go do something about it. ”

[portalstan]

It is so important to me that Stanley Pines has ADHD, person who struggles so much in school and then just stops trying because it hurts too much to try only to fail, especially when you're compared to someone else and hyperfixating on a dream and promise that was made in your youth, even when other's grew up to think it's "childish", because it's Important to you just. the inability to make something stick, trying again and again and again and again and it just doesn't work, hiding and lying when you messed up because it hurts too much to be caught and to disappoint and just !!! The anger issues the struggling the intensity of his love and how much it burns him---

[portalstan]

WHAT DOES YOUR HEART LOOK LIKE ?

$.   a cage with iron locks.

     You are an enigma. You take care to remain that way. You aim to keep people guessing; your motives are uncertain even to yourself. What is it you truly want ?  You’ll never know if you keep your heart locked away like that. You deserve to be known, truly and fully.      Stop being afraid of what you might find if you open your heart up to self-reflection. Stop thinking that no one will love you the moment they understandyou. You are more than the facade you put on.

[portalstan]

don’t mess with the bro!

[portalstan]

i need to make a g.ravity falls verse for my silly s.cp muse,,,,,, ooo you want to check out @simpletoymaker oooo

[portalstan]

temp new icon,,, <- fool who just reread jersey devil

[portalstan]

inbox call ! like and i'll send an ask(s) from prompts or from scratch uvu/ defaulting to canon but feel free to specify if you want smnth else !!

[portalstan]

↪ 𝐹𝐼𝐿𝐿𝑂𝑅𝑌 ⅋ 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 . ( a collection of sentence starters from season one of syfy's the magicians . adjust phrasing as necessary . this prompt will be updated as time goes on . )

it's always something with you , isn't it ? it's always an emergency .

look , this is your responsibility .

wow , nice trick . i'm sure you're a hit at parties .

so ... you think you're ready .

i called you . all weekend . where were you ?

okay , we have got to pull you together .

you can't run away hard enough , can you ?

i know where you were all weekend .

life is raw , everybody medicates .

i love you . call me , okay ?

am i hallucinating ?

come on , or you'll miss it .

can i start over ? please .

i'm going to make sure you don't remember a thing .

playing with time is such difficult magic .

don't bother trying to compare yourself .

it's good to be aware the world is blatantly unfair .

it's my fault that they said that .

if you think my family is some sort of advantage , you've been misinformed .

maybe i wouldn't let myself forget .

that was before i knew there was something else .

it's really okay if this is not your thing .

you're hurting yourself , & you're not okay .

i just needed to see if i was right .

we've been watching you for quite a while now .

hello ? do you need help ?

you feel right because you're starting towards your destiny .

for some reason , you're involved . so be involved .

look , hold that thought , okay ?

i'm obviously coming with you .

there's no such thing as safe magic .

what is this place exactly , besides a health hazard ?

you ask a lot of questions .

jesus , you didn't tell me you were dangerous .

it's a little bit bigger than messing up .

there's a bad story every few years around here .

can you just help me live with myself ?

i'm gonna tell you something deep & dark & personal now .

i'm trying to tell you , you are not alone here .

i don't know . i wanna be your friend , i guess .

you should hate me right now .

the last thing i wanted to do growing up was read fantasy .

let's just say life wasn't exactly non-stop fun growing up .

if you're guilty , i'm guilty .

come do something stupid with me before you go .

okay , you know what ? i'm not interested in your personal issues .

this isn't just some lark to me , just so you know .

i mean seriously , what do they expect , you know ?

look , you can't run away from you .

there's nothing i can do in this moment to stop the comet from crashing into the earth , is there ?

i keep trying to tell myself that this is somehow better .

you don't see color & want to go back to black & white .

you can't help , & i can't help you .

what the hell was that , you maniac ?

why would you ever trust anyone ?

i'm willing to teach the right people what i know . & i know a lot .

you're lucky i can fix this .

hey , have you heard of karma ? sometimes it's instant .

i'm generous with you , considering .

get me everything on this list . this week .

why even ask , if you'll just forget it again ?

that's not a real answer .

you're a much better liar than i expected you to be .

do you think you have a destiny ?

there is no destiny . no born heroes .

you can either step up to it or not , that's up to you .

this is your problem , that you should solve !

[portalstan]

{Quotes marguaxpoetry on Instagram / Sarah Kay}

[portalstan]

IN THE ASHES ,

a sentence starter prompts list comprised of quotes from the novel an ember in the ashes by sabaa tahir. please be advised that this list may involve topics including, but not limited to, murder, death, and violence. change verbiage as needed.

why do keep disappearing when i need you?

i wasn't spying.

what you saw is dangerous. you can't tell anyone about it. not ever.

keep your secrets close, love.

i'm not working for them.

don't be afraid [name], i won't let anything happen to you.

what are you doing down here?

much as i hate to admit it, you're not usually wrong.

the field of battle is my temple.

the dance of death is my prayer.

the killing blow is my release.

aren't you a pretty one.

who trained you?

keep it safe for me just until i come back.

unless you're stupider than you look, even you can see how this appears.

you worked hard. you did everything right.

go, [name]. go get some air. i'll handle this.

the ghosts of our misdeeds seek vengeance, but the cost will be high.

you are an ember in the ashes, [name]. you will spark and burn, ravage and destroy. you cannot change it. you cannot stop it.

we don't abandon our own!

who do you want me to spy on?

shadows will bloom in your heart and you will become everything you hate.

so my choices are either to stay and be evil or run and be evil. wonderful.

they always underestimate me.

this isn't a mission for the fainthearted.

go away. you're not real.

you're distracted when you can ill afford to be.

if you want to win this, you need to wake up.

i've already wasted too much time cleaning up your messes.

lay low. don't risk spying until you're certain you won't get caught.

fail me again, and we're done.

these are my friends, my family. people i know. i wouldn't hurt them.

how do i make it stop? i have to make it stop.

until you conquer your fear, the dead will remain with you.

i won't kill you. i swear it. by blood and bone, i swear it.

you're going to be fine. i'm going to fix you right up.

fight, [name]. you have to fight. you have to win.

death before tyranny.

if what you say is true, then the balance is upset, and we must restore it.

you look terrible. come into the shade.

you really should run. you’re just going to die.

wait, you idiot! it might be a trap!

i won’t let you fall, i promise.

i want you to know that i think what you’re doing is brave. really brave.

it’s not a stupid idea, just dangerous. i don’t want you getting hurt.

you’re trying to sneak out.

i wouldn’t have traded this for anything.

i live with my sins everyday. i live with the guilt.

i’ve never asked you for anything. i’m asking you now.

you think i can’t defend myself? you think i need bodyguards?

i’ve been distracted worrying about you.

i’ll kill him for this.

don’t talk. just keep quiet and… let me think.

you’re in love with me! but i'm not in love with you, and you hate me for it. you’ve let that ruin our friendship.

i could never be in love with you.

you have no idea what I’ve given up for you, the deal i made. 

who did this?

look at you–look what they’ve done to you.

you don’t have to be brave.

do you have what i want?

i have something, but i need more time.

if you have nothing, then this mission is a failure.

don’t have time for that. I’ve got other things on my mind.

if i wanted to hurt you, i’d already have done it.

as long as there is life, there is hope.

either way, you’d have blamed yourself.

either way, people you cared about would have suffered.

i should have stayed, even if it meant dying.

they won’t let you have compassion or kindness. they won’t let you have a soul.

my soul’s gone. I killed it dead on that battlefield.

there are two kinds of guilt. the kind that’s a burden and the kind that gives you purpose. 

you have a soul. it’s damaged, but it’s there. don’t let them take it from you.

you don’t need to be so cat-footed. i’m not armed.

you’re surprised? you’re naïve, is what you are. you’re a fool.

you’re sick. don’t you have any regret? any remorse?

i’ll celebrate them. i’ll mourn them. but i won’t regret what i did. i did it for the empire. i did it for my people.

don’t make vows when you can’t know their cost.

i crossed a line, and i won’t cross it again.

do you know what i do to spies?

be strong. if you don’t win this, everything is lost.

i will be your blood shrike, your second-in-command, the sword that executes at your will, until death. i swear it.

in the night, your loneliness crushes you, as if the sky itself has swooped down to smother you in its cold arms.

there is nothing of me that is worth anything.

tell me, or i slit your throat here and now.

you’ll pay for this. iI swear it to the skies, to the stars. you’ll pay.

just because he’s a good leader doesn’t mean he’s a good person. he lied to you.

for the first time since i can remember, i don’t feel alone. because of you.

i can’t–i can’t stop thinking about you. i’ve tried not to. i tried to push you out.

i’ll take care of everything. i promise.

the moment i knew you existed, i hated you.

if i feel regret, it’s that i wasn’t willing to die sooner.

i’d rather die than live with no mercy, no honor, no soul.

fear is only your enemy if you allow it to be.

too much fear an you’re paralyzed. too little fear and you’re arrogant.

i’ll watch your back if you watch mine. we can make it if we stick together.

[portalstan]

i do tend to be a big fan of being dramatic / exposition so if i'm in the mood ( usually after a long period of not writing ) i tend to get a bit rambly with IC things but always know I never expect matched lengths or so on o/ <- jic bc sincerely i do like to type filler kinds of things for the vibes but isn't requirement ever