my name is Ferris & i am largely unfit for human consumption. 30s / nb / michigan, usa
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started painting again and I never wanna stop I wanna paint all the time I wanna quit my job and paint. I won’t do that because you need money to buy goods and services like paint and things to paint on but. I want to.
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showering:
pros: you get to feel clean. you get non greasy hair, non oily feeling skin, it just in general makes you feel better, more energised, refreshed.
cons: there are so many steps. oh my god are there so many steps. before getting into the shower there are steps. during the shower there are steps. and once youve gotten out of the shower? guess what!!! more fucking steps!!!!!!!! UGHHHH
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cried a little today at work because I landed (myself) in a pretty mild situation and it felt like no one really had my back, and even one of my coworkers seemed to actively be against me in this odd sort of way where I know she didn’t interpret her own behavior that way at all, and it made me feel very sad and lonely but it also made me feel like I want to keep pursuing the solidarity I’ve been actively trying to foster even harder because I cannot stand this “everyone for themselves” mentality that we are trained to believe is normal and desirable and I can’t tell if that means I’m improving or if I’m worse than I’ve ever been
#I made an assumption I should not have and was called out on it#once I explained even the person who was kind of accusing me seemed to see it as understandable on my end#but she did it very publicly and initially called what I did ‘wild’ and recruited another coworker into agreeing with her#(everyone else just stayed silent and didn’t participate; I understand that reaction more tbh)#& when I started to tear up her entire demeanor changed and she began to emphatically comfort me#and I’m trying not to be embarrassed because it happened in a relatively private area where patients couldn’t see#& I do think the fact that I immediately admitted to the mistake even while trying to understand the situation and explained myself#combined with the fact that I accidentally showed human emotion like…communicated something very succinctly#I just wish it hadn’t gone down that way you know#& I overheard that other coworker literally telling the others she saw me crying like she was being nice and sympathetic by saying she—#‘thought I was just a little overwhelmed’ but like. girl. actually I think that’s kind of weird behavior#this got too diary-like shit
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can someone teach me how to be emotionally regulated and not be sensitive or take things personally
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sat among the soft seagrass🌾🐚
✦ find me on instagram @the.flightless.artist ✦
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wish there was a non rude way to be like “I understand your criticism, I don’t even necessarily disagree with it, but I am doing these things on purpose, because I like them and I want to, and therefore your opinion has no value, because you might think me painting a room entirely pink is tacky, but I did it on purpose”
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Upside to stop and go traffic- I could get a picture of these absolutely iconic bumper stickers.
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