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Don’t you just hate it when your autonomy is robbed from you and you’re forced to hurt your friends and you can’t do anything about it- it’s soooo annoyinggggg
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everyone’s favorite worst girl, ianthe tridentarius!
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Finally watched the entirety of lotr yesterday and I’m going absolutely insane.
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One of my favorite things about the cav!Ortus chapters is the way they show us how hard Harrow tries to look strong for Gideon. Like, the details from the shuttle ride over alone!
Vs. her level of planning ahead when she has someone to impress
And of course, her trusting him to help her manage her schizophrenia.
And I'd posit that, at least in part, it's because she already thinks Ortus pities her, and she therefore doesn't have as much to lose with him.
It seems like she gets the same energy from Crux.
Harrow appreciates his help and his investment in her sanity, but she hates this vulnerability, any softness directed at her. Harrow is so desperate to have Gideon feel anything - fear, hatred, anything - besides pity for her. Harrow, when confronted, admits her condition to the Fifth, and in the Pool Scene itself Harrow doesn't open up about her hallucinations. She clings to Gideon's perceived enmity and begrudging respect even when it hurts her. And I just can't wait to see her deal with Kiriona, who has literally been in her head.
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