preggomyeggos

[preggomyeggos]

Her (v/o): I did wear a long sleeve shirt out to brunch with my friends. It was really cute and colorful and made my belly pop…and maybe it worked a little too well because all my friends wanted to rub my belly…and also the heat in this restaurant is super cranked up…so…uh…I took my shirt off…and the t-shirt I’m wearing is a little bit small…so...um…who wants to see my bump…?

[preggomyeggos]

When they said it was multiples, I knew I was gonna get BIG. When they said there were so many that they couldn’t reliably count them, I knew I was gonna get REAL BIG. But now I’m looking at myself and… hot damn, I have no idea how big I’ll be by the end of this! I look swollen with twins already, and I’m just entering my second trimester tomorrow! My clothes don’t fit, my belly button’s already popped, and I’m noticing the beginnings of some stretchmarks… I’m in trouble!

[preggomyeggos]

Ashley

(Mrs. EH and I are in bed)

Mrs. EH: So Ashley Graham—you know who Ashley Graham is, right?

Me: Yes.

Mrs. EH: So she just gave birth. And you remember I was saying how huge she was? Turns out she had twins. Isn’t that insane?

(I nod. Mrs. EH takes out her phone and starts scrolling. She shows me the above photo)

Mrs. EH: I mean, she’s gorgeous but that’s too big. Don’t you think that’s too big? Or does that still do it for you?

Me: Yes, it does.

Mrs. EH: But that’s too big. Or do you not care? There’s no too big?

Me: No, there can be too big. But that’s not it.

(Author’s note: Normally I do not post photos of celebrities. But in this case I’ve made an exception because it was directly referenced in conversation)

[preggomyeggos]

God… can you believe it’s the two year anniversary of my due date? I mean… I guess it’s kind of easy to believe when you look at me, but still… I’m so bloated, and heavy… and done. I can barely move on my own, and fitting into most clothes just isn’t an option anymore. I’m glad the baby is healthy… but I don’t feel like I am. All I do is eat, sleep, and massage my own belly… and if I get one inch bigger around, I don’t think I’ll be able to do that on my own anymore…

[preggomyeggos]

[preggomyeggos]

[preggomyeggos]

Well… here I am… full term. I made it all 40 weeks. I’m proud of myself. My belly is spotless and perfect, and while my body has definitely softened, it’s nothing a few months at the gym can’t fix. I definitely have enjoying being pregnant. It has it’s downsides no question, but having people fawn over you and having your friends rub your belly and bring you food is really nice. You’re like a VIP everywhere you go, and all you need to do is haul a belly around with you. It’s pretty sweet. Looking forward to the next one…

[preggomyeggos]

I’m irritated with you. I can’t believe you would suggest your pregnant wife is eating too much. You think dealing with a hyperpregnancy is easy? You think sitting around all day eating stuff is my cup of tea? I like being ACTIVE and participating in the world, not being stuck on bed rest 4 months in just because I’m setting the record for largest multiples pregnancy. I liked feeling lithe and cute, now I’m just round and fat and getting fatter every day. The doctors think that by the third trimester I’ll be adding multiple inches to my circumference each day! You think I want to have to roll everywhere? I don’t like knowing you’ll have to remove the doors and door frame just so I can squeeze my massive belly from room to room when I get bigger. All my friends are gonna think “wow she sure is a lazy pregnant slob, good thing her partner can do all the work”. This IS work! Now make me more mac and cheese… I get cranky when I’m hungry…

[preggomyeggos]

God damn I’m cute. With my little unbuttoned shorts and tied top, all framing my round little tummy… well okay maybe not “little”, but still, this is an adorable look. I should find some shoes that go with this and we can go out to the park tonight. I can’t wait to pick out the other belly-lovers from the crowd based on who’s drooling over me dressed like this.

[preggomyeggos]

…aaaaand…. 50 inches around. Jesus Christ. 50 whole inches to my waistline… all belly… all pregnancy… that’s… what, four feet? slightly over? I’m only 4′11″, if I keep swelling like this I’ll be bigger around than I am tall… I already can’t fit in anything and can barely walk… How am I supposed to handle the third trimester?

[preggomyeggos]

This is intense. I can’t believe I’ve reached this size already! Look at me! My friend was this big when she was full term with her twin boys, and I’m just at 18 weeks! Look at this overhang! I’m not even halfway done and I have a full fledged underbelly. This is incredible, and kind of scary. It explains my crazy appetite though. I’m able to put away enough food that my tummy physically sticks out farther. Pretty sure the chair squeaks more after dinner. You would think my belly would go back down as everything digests, but I think they grow and fill me back out. At the rate I’m going, I’m going to need to pick up more work just to afford to feed myself.

[preggomyeggos]

It had been a sloooooooooowwww burn for Lynn. That 36 there? That’s not 36 weeks. That’s 36 MONTHS. She had been carrying the same pregnancy for 3 years, and god was she tired of it. Being pregnant for such a long time let her tired and sore permanently, but it also was quite lucrative… she was payed well for every interview and study and talk-show appearance, which worked for the second year… but she was downright sick of it by now. This kid had to come out soon, right?

[preggomyeggos]

…aaaannnndddd there! That’s my 57 week picture taken. No, I’m not carrying multiples and being cheeky, I’ve had this little guy for 57 weeks now. C’mon, don’t tell me you can’t tell by my belly size. I know I’m huge and I’m content with it. I rather like how this tummy sits on me, though it’s getting hard to find clothes that fit these days. Won’t be long before nothing covers my tum anymore and I have to let it hang out, popped navel, stretchmarks, and all. Judging by the way you’re staring, I take you won’t mind that.

[preggomyeggos]

She was SO FUCKING PREGNANT it wasn’t even funny. Dectuplets was a lot to handle, and her belly size proved it. Her waddling gait was slow and pendulous, and while covered right now, she was ALLLLLL stretchmark. The poor thing was slated to be in a wheelchair before long, all before she was even in her third trimester.

[preggomyeggos]

[preggomyeggos]

She used to be rather reserved and demure. Rarely did she show an excess of skin, and often worked out in her little home gym. Now, at a hefty 44 weeks with twins, she’s really come out of her shell! Maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was the way her partner oogled at her huge belly, or maybe she just really likes being pregnant… but now, she jogged outside, midriff bared for all to see. She often got very positive comments from other joggers, and even the occasional interested hand on her belly. She didn’t mind as long as they asked first. Only time would tell if her confidence would stay after giving birth.

[preggomyeggos]

There she stood, four years pregnant with twins. You can tell by her expression that she’s exhausted. Her belly massive with two overdue babies, and filled to the brim with amniotic fluid. She waddled slowly toward the door, the sides of her tummy brushing against the doorframe as she passed through it. Already out of breath, she padded her way to the bedroom before taking a seat, the mattress creaking loudly under her immense, pregnant weight. Tomorrow she was trying a new induction method… hopefully it would work… unlike the other 50 she’s tried…