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three person poly relationship made up of two people who are already dating trying to coax someone with horrific self worth issues into a loving relationship. stray cat style

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the best fanfic is the one the author had fun writing actually.

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OPEN FOR BETTER QUALITY

reposting after recent events (holy shit)

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[OPEN FOR BETTER QUALITY]

I'm loving their storyline for absolutely no reason

(For phone viewers)

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Dionysius agrees to give you magic but the power of the spells he gives you directly correlates to the amount of alcohol you consumed the night beforehand

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Giving your players a starting quest where the local government wants them to go clear out a neighboring wizard's tower, but then when the players get to the tower they discover the wizard is actually just a bard who likes stereotypical wizard pointy hats, and he's been using his bardic inspiration to encourage worker's strikes and unionization, and really the kingdom wants him dead because local business owners are mad at him and this "send some adventurers to clear out the tower" ploy is just the most recent attempt at his life, and then the party turn-heels and overthrows the government.

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2d6 table for law enforcement methods in D&D

So recently I've been thinking about how to portray dystopias in D&D, which is something that's harder for me to do well than it sounds. Most of the cruelly authoritarian governments I'm familiar with existed post-1900, which doesn't vibe with D&D's fantasy setting... So I've been dredging up my historical knowledge of awful governments, and as someone working on a thievery campaign, this has made me think of different methods of law enforcement.

Feel free to use the table below either as a 2d6 table, or simply as a list of ideas. Something I realized while making this is that methods of law enforcement are intricately connected with details about the town in question: who lives there? What kind of life do they live? Urban or pastoral setting? Large town or small town? What is the town like, socially -- do people put a lot of credence in religion, their neighbors, their in-group or family, the law, reason, or technology? For this reason the table below is intentionally generic.

If anyone has recommendations for other possible methods of fantastical law enforcement (trial by ordeal involving a dark cave and a dragon?), please add them below. Also please share if you have historical inspiration for awful governments (1700s Britain, 1500s Italy, the entire history of colonialism -- seriously, the concept of the existence of a company given monarchical and therefore divine right to rule over an entire nation is ripe for inspiration imo.)

In this town, lawbreakers are detected and apprehended in the following way (roll 2d6):

2 - Everybody knows and likes everybody. There's no need for any sort of law enforcement.

3 - When a crime is committed, the members of the victim's family are honor-bound to discover the perpetrator.

4 - A religious order divines information about criminals in cases of particularly heinous or sacrilegious crime. Then, the order's knights are sent to apprehend the suspects.

5 - Wealthy noble families, who have taken on the role of steward of the town, court mercenary groups to provide security as a favor to the public.

6 - The town is policed by members of the military, who are taken from the ranks of the imperial army, or the army of an occupying power.

7 - Town guards patrol the city. In smaller towns they simply keep an eye out for trouble; in larger towns they are given a set beat; in still larger cities they are assigned to separate locations and perhaps assisted with magical defense systems.

8 - Any citizen who has been wronged can submit an appeal for aid to their lord, who, in exchange for fealty, is in charge of marshaling forces to catch the perpetrator.

9 - Roll again, ignoring other rolls of 9. One of the other systems here is in place, but has gone wrong. Citizens often rely on hiring adventurers to solve crimes, and they must contend with the danger that a corrupt form of justice poses.

10 - Vigilante organizations have formed, which keep order in return for the citizens' respect. Whether or not those organizations themselves are legal is an open question.

11 - There is no real law enforcement to speak of, because no one follows the laws. Citizens pay protection money to the city's emboldened crime syndicates, which compete for territory, subjects, and power.

12 - Crime? What crime? Under the Dread-queen, all is peace.

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My favorite way to come up with content for dnd is to use songs. This method isn’t great for large plots and is best suited for characters or one of encounters

Pick any song or just pay attention to the music you are listening to.

Then choose a few lyrics that you like or that stand out to you

Spin that into whatever content you need at the time

Remember not to be too strict or too formal

Let’s use “It takes the truth to fool me” from I can’t decide by the scissor sisters as an example. Here’s a few ideas

An automaton dungeon guard who only lets people pass if they tell the truth when questioned (there could be a plaque or note left behind to inform the players)

In order to get in to a palace, you are placed under a truth telling spell. The party is recruited for a job by some spies, but don’t get told any info about it until they get inside

An npc who is paranoid of everyone but all they want is someone they can trust (could be anyone from a shopkeeper to a librarian. Npcs are better with a layer you can fall back on)

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Gargoyles are Friends!

So, a pet peeve I’ve always had in any fantasy universe but especially TTRPGs like D&D and Pathfinder is that Gargoyles are almost always depicted as being evil beings. Why? Because they look scary?

Listen, Gargoyles are not evil, they are protectors! 

Back in the day, when everyone thought sneezing funny meant you were possessed and that vampires and ghosts lurked in every shadow, Gargoyles were built on big buildings (mostly churches) to scare away evil spirits and demons. That’s why they’re so deformed and creepy looking, to scare away evil! (They were also kinda like early gutters/drains to prevent water damage on big buildings, because a lot of them had spouts in their mouths like a fountain, but that’s neither here nor there.)

So from a fantasy point of view, these guys should be good guys! Like, Neutral Good constructs, here to protect from the shadows!

Heck, Disney of all people got that right! Remember in the Gargoyles in Notredam who raised Quasimodo? Or the whole cartoon Gargoyles, which is about a bunch of gargoyles who fight evil!? There was even that one stupid Frankenstien movie where Gargoyles where humanity’s secret protectors! It was called I,Frankenstien, and it was bad, but at least they depicted Gargoyles semi-decently!

WHY ARE GARGOYLES ALWAYS DEPECTID AS EVIL/GENERIC MONSTERS! THEY’RE REALLY COOL, BUT THEY’RE ALWAYS EVIL FOR SOME REASON! THE WHOLE POINT OF THEM WAS TO WARD OFF EVIL SPIRITS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

…Thank you for listening to me ramble about my oddly specific gripes about oddly specific things in depictions of things I think are neat in modern fantasy. In short, I want good guy gargoyle’s to be a thing in fantasy. If I ever get around to making that homebrew setting in Pathfinder/Dnd that I’ve always wanted to make, I’m gonna put nice Gargoyles in it.

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10 silly paladin oath ideas [maybe][still bored]

Paladin sworn to some day destroy a specific mountain, building or just a magical, indestructable chair.

Paladin sworn to make their existence everyone elses problem.

Paladin sworn to get all creature on their path drunk.

Paladin sworn to be friends with all weird-little-dudes they meet.

Paladin sworn to create the biggest sandwich in existance.

Paladin sworn to defeat the oceaan in hand to hand combat.

Paladin sworn to find all special eddition gold pieces (they have little flumpfs on them :)

Paladin who is sworn to protect the princess, and also is the princess.

Paladin who is sworn to exise all sin from this plane, but they think being mildy rude is the only sin.

Paladin who is sworn to collect bugs in little jars.

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Campaign settings I'd like to see more of!

Atlantis! I'd love to see more underwater creatures, kingdoms, societies and cultures! Give me somewhere we can finally put sea elfs, sirens and tritons to good use! Make a kingdom that was submerged by water that is now threatened by pollution or some wild magic that the Surface is doing! Give me underwater magic! Give me Sea Sorcerers!!

Greek Polis! Show me how the Gods would react to mortals as powerful as them. Show me Spartans that refuse to use magic in their armies, give me Athens that uses magic to progress. Show me magic ships and the minotaur terrorizing everyone!! Give me Athena's Paladins and Hestia's Clerics!!

MAGIC. SCHOOLS. C'mon, guys, put Strixhaven to use!! Adapt it for middle schoolers and teens!! Give me novice wizards that have no idea how to use their powers, give me an enormous school that has so many hidden places and creatures that not even the founder knows about. Give me kids being kids while doing FUCKING MAGIC!! Do you know how feral kids would be if they could conjure fire at will?? BRING. THE. CHAOS.

Volcano Dungeons. Make that pyromaniac sorcerer freak out when their fireball has no effect anymore. Take the Fire Plane to their level, make it the most hot and dangerous dungeons. Get a active volcano and they have to run agaisnt the clock to get out before getting thrown out with a bunch of deadly magma and lava.

Defend the Temple. This time your players are on the other side of the story, they have to defend their temple from invasors. Give me Native Empires that are fueled by anger and grief and they are finally getting their revenge. Give me Aztec Gods, give me Inca culture, bring the Mayas back to life. Show the deadliest creatures from tropical forests, give me the Amazon's most fantastic animals (that might not be completely fantasy in the end)

Post-apocalyptic medieval cities! Show me abandoned castles, ruins old as time. How the fields and feuds were reclaimed by nature, how magic build up and took down empires. Give me beasts that are no longer recognizable from zoology books, give me fiends that have gathered thousands of souls from desperation. Show me forests that grew from the foundation of temples and building that were not touched again by nature, deemed evil.

Please hit me up If you want an extended version of any of these!

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A wizard whose familiar is a hamster, and its cheeks are a bag of holding-- but only for tiny objects.

Magic ring no one in the party can use? Goes in the hamster. Precious jewel spell components you don't want to get stolen? Feed the hamster. All your platinum? Hamster can put 'em away one piece at a time.

Only downside? The merchants look at the wizard really weird when it comes time to pay and he pulls out a small fluffy rodent and starts shaking it until gold falls out...

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Master Post of My Fave NPCs in My Campaign:

Old Man Riddles

(Can appear anywhere and it'll make sense)

Entire deal is he sits in a puddle of mud splashing about and throws mud at the party if they get a riddle wrong

Chester

(Again can appear anywhere without explanation)

A mimic that talks! He takes the form of a chest, you throw 10 gold into his mouth and he spits out a random, maybe useful potion. He does not know what any of the potions do

Sofa

Chester's best friend. Essentially a dog. Licks everything, but mimics are adhesive so he gets stuck to things a lot.

The Meat Traders

(Found on the road)

Curse by the meat witch to trade meat for meat. They can ONLY accept meat in payment and only have meat to trade.

Frat Boy Doomsday Cult

Having a massive rager to celebrate the end of the world. The world doesn't end. They fight with lacrosse sticks

Billy McGee

Local old man that does tours of the catacombs. All of his ancestors are in the your, having died of riding animals such as "2 dragons". When asked how they were riding multiple animals at once, his answer is "badly"

Thray

(Owns Thray's Curiousities)

Gay vampire that runs an Antiques Store. Refuses to uncurse the cursed items cause they're more fun the way they are. Beefs with all other arcane practitioners, currently banned from the wizards uni.

I'll add more as I remember more

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[ Your World, My World ]

«It's so amazing to have you around»

FirstKhao, OST to OurSkyy2

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[ Your World, My World ]

«It's so amazing to have you around»

FirstKhao, OST to OurSkyy2

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i dare you. i fucking dare you. to draw bowuigi with their ACTUAL size difference.

this is straight from the odyssey.

Edit: yeah yeah, they change size every game, whatever. MY POINT STILL STANDS. BIG MAN BOWSER. GIMME.