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prettiestb4byd0ll · 4 months ago

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Stranger

John Price x wife!reader OC

Summary: John Price finally puts an end to his wife being stalked.

Warnings: Sexual themes, violence, blood, murder, death, stalking, allusions to sexual assault, mentions of child endangerment, torture, mentions of war, kidnapping, PTSD, anxiety attack, not edited.

——————

“Jj, stop teasing your sister.”

“But mum-“ Jj had a cheeky smile on his face before he was interrupted.

“Oi, enough!” John voice barked from down the hall as he walked toward the kitchen.

Tonight was a good night with your family. You had finished up dessert which was an ice cream sundae feast. The kids were over the moon when you and John broke out all the toppings you bought as a surprise from the shop. You felt your heart swell watching John set up everything with a huge grin across his face. In the aftermath there was chocolate syrup, caramel sauce, marshmallows, and rainbow sprinkles all over the kitchen island that you were now cleaning up.

“Daddy!” Lily exclaimed and ran to John as he walked into the kitchen, his eyes fixed on you in his white t-shirt and a pair of your leggings.

His four year old was already in her pajamas and her hair damp from her bath. She wore pastel green pants with Grogu from the Mandalorian on them, and a white t-shirt with the same character. Lily ran straight into John’s leg and clung to him. A loud crack of thunder made your house shake as the heavy rain continued to beat down.

“Daddy you have to save me.” Tugging on John’s sweat pants he had to grip the waistband so Lily didn’t drag them down.

“Save you?” John asked before picking her up and then being clung to in a vice grip.

“Ow! Lily, go easy.” John hissed as Lily’s finger nails dug into the exposed skin of his bicep while the other tugged on his beard.

“Yeah or the forest will swallow her up!” Jj jumped off his chair as he shouted his teasing words at Lily. This made Lily whimper into John’s chest, her fingers tugging harder at John’s facial hair.

“Hey, I said stop it.” You scolded Jj who didn’t seem to take you seriously and continued to make scary faces, eerie noises, and wiggle his finger at Lily.

“Daddy.” Lily whined into John’s neck, one sapphire eye visible as she stared at her big brother.

“Stop trying to scare your sister. Her shadow does enough of that.” John’s joke had you lightly chuckling along with him.

He wasn’t wrong there. It didn’t take much to scare Lily and she did once scream and try to out run her shadow, not knowing what it was. She tripped and fell in her mad dash which only made things worse that day.

“Can I sleep with you and mummy?” Lily whispered to John so you couldn’t hear.

You and John tended to ping pong back and forth on who was a big softy. Lately John had been giving in to all the small requests and spoiling your children. Whereas you were setting limits because you thought they were getting out of control at times. Jj especially, for some reason he’d been teasing both his sisters to tears recently.

“I’ll have to ask your mum. . . but yes.” John whispered the last part. Lily giggled and gave him a kiss to the cheek while snuggling closer.

“Why’s there a man in the yard?” Evelyn asked.

She was standing by the backdoor and staring out into your pitch black backyard. With squinted crystal blue eyes she tilted her head to the side and then leaned forward to get a better look. Lily tensed up at her sister’s words and looked at John with wide eyes and a big frown.

“What did your mum just say?” John asked expectantly, one thick eyebrow quirked.

“But-“ Evelyn pointed, not taking her eyes off the yard.

“Stop trying to scare your sister. Bed, now.” John cut off Evelyn not giving her a chance to continue.

“But-“

“Evie, bed.” You jumped in a lot sweeter.

“Stop being fuckin’ stupid Evie, you’re gonna get us grounded.” Jj playfully jabbed. You gasped at the language and so did Lily.

“Stupids a bad word!” Lily looked at a John in shock. He couldn’t even address Jj’s language and burst out into a loud belly laugh.

“Watch the language.” You chuckled and Jj nodded with a cheeky eye roll.

Walking over to your oldest daughter you lightly guided her by the shoulders to head upstairs. With a kiss to the top of the head Evelyn followed her father and siblings as he brought them upstairs to tuck them in.

You went back to putting the dishes away and sipping on the glass of wine John poured you. It wasn’t common that you had wine during the week, it was more of a special occasion thing. But you had a feeling John was trying to get lucky tonight and he was bettering his chances by getting you liquored up.

Taking a sip you watched as your tri-colored border collie, Molly, slowly walked to the back door. She took her paw and lightly scratched at the glass for you to let her out. The look she cast in your direction was somehow filled with attitude that you were taking too long. With a big smile you walked over and unlocked the door. You grabbed a towel off the shoe rack to wipe Molly off when she came back in but you noticed the rain had stopped. Before opening the door you flicked on the patio light and went to let her out. Looking up into the yard you let out a blood curdling scream.

Just like Evelyn had said, there was a man standing in your yard.

You couldn’t make out any defining details only that he was large, maybe bigger than John in stature. He was a shadowy figure standing about fifty yards from the tree line but still a good distance from your home. Your scream didn’t seem to scare him off but instead you watched as he began to slowly walk toward your home. Molly began barking like crazy and jumping on the back door for you to let her out and chase this man off.

“Darling!?” John could be heard racing down the stairs.

You caught sight of him running down the hall in the reflection of the glass backdoor. Shifting your focus you realized that the man in the yard must have seen John too because he was now running full sprint toward the forest.

John realized what was happening in seconds. He saw a figure darting into the woods and he was already springing into action. It had to be the years in the military that had made him so observant. It was why he spotted the man in seconds and picked up on the sinister feeling hanging in the air. It was the same unsettling ambience that filled war zones, compounds he was infiltrating, or the stiff air of a morgue.

“Stay right there and watch.” John ordered you before locking the door and then dashing into the basement.

In this moment you weren’t his wife needing protection, you were an extension of himself that needed to help protect. Your children were upstairs and it would take an army to get to them. John instinctively knew whoever was out there had to get through him and you; and you were a lot more scrappy than you appeared. John knew you’d move mountains for your children, that their safety was your number one priority much like him.

You didn’t respond, fear paralyzed you in this moment, but you did as you were told. Keeping your eyes on the man you watched as he faded into the darkness of the woods and stopped. The glow of your patio flood light stretched far enough it created long shadows that stretched across your property but didn’t reach the woods. His figure was like watching a tea bag bleed into water, you could make out distinct shapes until it all faded together. You could just make the man out; his figure was darker than the tree line. He was now standing just on the edge of the woods, staring directly at you and in seconds he faded together with the blackened shadows of the forest.

“Why’d you stop running?” You whispered and stepped closer to the glass.

Your breath was shallow and eyes squinted as you tried to focus on where you last saw the man. It didn’t make sense to you why he started for the house when it was you but then ran a moment later. Molly had stopped barking but was aggressively growling in the same direction you had your gaze fixed on.

“Oh. You can’t see John.” The words came out in a shaky whisper, your breath making the glass fog, obscuring the figure staring back at you.

That’s when you saw your husband. John was back by your side with his gun in hand. You realized he had also slipped on a camouflage rain coat, his tactical boots, and boonie hat. As soon as you saw John you realized the blackened shape you’d been staring at was gone.

“He went straight ahead.” Pointing off to show where you saw the man disappear to, John was soon sprinting in the same direction.

You hadn’t even realized he unlocked the backdoor until you saw the back of John and heard his boots stomp against the stone of your patio. Molly was right behind John which surprised you. She normally moved slow but she was sprinting with John and slowly outrunning him. She knew exactly where she was going and it made you wonder if she picked up on the unknown scent. The sound of Mollys bark snapped you out of your trance and you quickly shut the back door and locked it.

You then turned and ran upstairs for your children. There was no guarantee this man was alone and your worst fear would be for someone else to try breaking in while John was off chasing the accomplices. The first room you went to was your sons. Jj was sitting up in bed reading his book and snapped it shut when you burst through the door.

“I’m sorry! I’ll go to bed.” Jj immediately apologized not thinking he’d get caught staying up to read.

“Get Evelyn up and go to my bathroom. Don’t turn on any lights.” The urgency in your voice would scare most children but it didn’t have that effect on Jj.

The protocol was to bring the kids to the basement but you weren’t sure if someone was able to get in without you knowing. You were scared, petrified something was going to happen and you were the last line of defense to keep your children safe. This fear kept you from doing what you and John practiced.

It was like a switch flipped in Jj’s head as he slipped on his slippers and ran to Evelyn’s room. You were then in Lily’s bedroom and grabbed her. She was lying on her back talking to her stuffed animals and holding her penguin stuffy over her head. Any other night you’d watch her lovingly from the door and admire how cute Lily was.

“Mummy!” Lily gasped as she was snatched out of bed.

“Shhh. We’re playing hide and seek with daddy and we have to be very quiet.” You whispered to your daughter who seemingly believed you.

“Fun.” She giggled and kicked her feet as you ran to your room.

Locking the bedroom door behind you, you grabbed the blanket off the foot of your bed and then dashed into the bathroom. Evelyn and Jj were sitting in the bathtub which was exactly where you were going to tell them to sit. You took Lily and placed her in Jj’s lap. There was a silent understanding between you two that he was to look after his sisters.

“Stay quiet.” You smiled reassuringly to your little girls.

“Daddy will never find us.” Lily giggled.

“Perfect spot for hide and seek.” This was your attempt to get your kids on board with the lie you told Lily.

Giving each child a kiss to the tops of their heads you took the large plush blanket and made sure they were all covered up to stay warm. You pulled the curtain back to conceal where they were and rolled into your next move.

Making your way back into your bedroom you grabbed the skeleton key and locked the door. You wee locking your babies in the bathroom to keep them safe, god forbid something happened to you. Your next step was to grab the serrated Bowie knife John hid in the false bottom of his nightstand. It felt clinical how you moved. The underlying fear seemed to fade into the background as you did everything John had coached you to do.

Grabbing your cell phone you called the police first and then your father second. You placed one final call just in case John needed help in a different kind of way than the police could offer. The phone rang twice before the person answered clearly out of breath.

“Indy, kinda late-“

“Soap! I know you’re dating that girl- ugh- uh- what’s her name- uh- maybe if you didn’t sleep with so many of my friends I’d remember! The one with kids. Are you at her place?” You yelled and babbled out.

You could hear sheets rustling and a female voice asking something faintly in the background. The voice grew louder and more agitated but you didn’t care at the moment. Soap had been dating one of the moms at Lily’s daycare and she happened to live near by. You were praying he was at her place for the night.

“Yeah, everything alright? I’m kinda in the middle of s-”

“Some creep was standing outside the house and John chased him into the woods. I don’t know if he needs help-“ You were babbling again and hadn’t noticed you were crying.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.” Soap could be heard shuffling around quickly and you assumed he was getting dressed.

“Thank you! Flash your headlights so I know it’s you.”

“On my way.”

Those five minutes felt like an eternity. But soon enough you saw headlights pulling up your driveway and then they flashed four times. Seeing that it was Soap you slid the knife into the holster you had secured to the back of the waist band of your leggings. You left your bedroom and locked the door behind you. Jogging downstairs you met Soap on your patio.

Soap looked disheveled. His hair was sticking up in odd direction and he was flushed. You were use to seeing Soap in jeans but tonight he wore grey joggers that left nothing to the imagination. His grey crewneck had a lipstick smudge by the collar and what you assumed was red wine dribbled down the front. The only thing that made him look ready to help was the pistol in his hand and scuffed military boots.

“John took off that way with his gun, Molly followed too.” You pointed into the woods where John had ran off to.

“Alright, hold on to this.” Soap smacked a walkie talkie into your hand and the gun he was holding in the other.

You physically reacted to now holding a gun and held it as far away from you as you could manage. It looked like it grossed you out the way your face twisted in disgust. Soaps eyebrows scrunched together and he looked at the gun that you were acting like it was a dead animal he handed you.

“Don’t be scared of it. Just point and pull the trigger.” Soap took off running in the direction of your husband after he was done speaking.

You watched as he pulled out another gun from the back of his waist band and you wondered how many guns the members of 141 had hidden just in case they needed them. You knew John’s arsenal and were constantly on his case to get rid of some.

Before Soap even reached half way across the yard John was walking out of the woods with Molly following close behind. You couldn’t make out if he was okay from this distance but you noticed he was alone. Part of you thought he’d be dragging someone by the hair out of the woods or that he’d be covered in blood with a dead body slung over his shoulder.

“You get your hands on him Cap?” Soap called. He stopped halfway into your yard and waited for John to join him in walking back to your home.

You watched from the lit patio as the two conversed quietly. It made you wonder what information John was passing along. The two continued to quietly converse as they walked back over to you.

“Slippery fucker.” John cursed, his frustration evident.

“How’d he get away?” You heard Soap ask as you impatiently waited on the patio.

The night air bit at your exposed skin, making you shiver. Your bare feet were tingling against the cold stone. There was a pebble sticking to the bottom of one of your feet and uncomfortably pressing into your skin. Standing on one foot you picked it off with the hand holding the walkie talkie. You didn’t notice how by keeping your balance you were waving around your other hand.

“Woah, easy there. Don’t need you putting a hole in either of us.” John had both hands on you, one on your wrist and the other taking the gun from your hand. After you were disarmed John answered Soaps question.

“His car was parked on some trail deep in the woods. He took off before I could grab him. Molly took a bite out of him though.” Handing the gun back to Soap John cast another unimpressed look at you for your lack of gun safety. Soap knelt down and slipped the gun into a holster around his ankle.

“Really? Good girl.” You squatted down and gave Molly some much deserved scratches. You ignored John’s look, he knew your distain for guns. You checked Molly’s teeth and mouth to make sure she wasn’t hurt.

“I’ll be picking her up a steak tomorrow.” John patted her on the head and then she finally walked off to go pee like she originally had to.

“You broken?” You stopped John from walking by you and lightly took him by the shoulders. You used his phrase to hopefully dampen the tension. Looking him over you saw he was a bit muddy but not a scratch on him.

“Far from broken, darling.” You loved hearing those words and you swooned even harder when John placed a firm kiss to your forehead. Warping a strong arm around your waist John lead you inside and motioned for Soap to follow.

The three of you went inside and you went to grab your children. John told you he’d put a kettle on while you got everything back in order; including yourself. Somehow you managed to shove the fear crackling through your bones down and be the mother your children needed. You had them all back in bed easily and Jj was the only one to ask questions. He came to the conclusion that this was practice in case something bad ever happened. Just like the time you practiced what he and his sisters needed to do if there was ever a fire.

Once downstairs you could hear Soap and John talking. Your nerves were beginning to fray. Keeping it together for this long felt unnatural. You felt like a robot getting your kids back to bed. Cuddling Evelyn as she babbled about wanting to go to the park tomorrow, organizing Lily’s stuffed animals on the bed in your room to sleep with you, and telling Jj everything was alright; it was like an out of body experience. It was auto pilot to get them all settled and now finally you were coming back to your senses.

“Yeah, Indy called while I was mid thrust. Should’ve seen Saoirse’s face when I picked up the ph-“

“Charming.” You scrunched your nose at Soaps crass remark.

You weren’t one for dirty banter unless it was with John. It sounded like locker room talk to you which you disapproved of. You didn’t think John would normally entertain that kind of talk but Soap seemed comfortable talking like that.

“Sorry. Didn’t see you there.” Soap laughed awkwardly. You were giving him a disapproving look which had him feeling like a naughty school boy.

“That how you talk about me?” You asked John who snorted at the idea.

“Oh, I go into much more detail.” His joke wasn’t funny to you and he put his hands up in defense before you gave him a tongue lashing.

“I’m only joking.” John added.

“The kids are back in bed.” You changed the subject before you started questioning your husband.

You grabbed the cup of tea John prepared for you. The mug lightly swayed in your shaky hands as you brought the warm liquid to your mouth.

“You alright?” Soap asked. He was staring at you with concern and that was when you noticed John also looked worried.

“Not really. That was fucking scary.” As you spoke you noticed how your words were in a higher register and you stuttered slightly.

John was by your side now, one large hand lightly stroking your back. His other hand came up and pushed your hair out of your face and behind your ear. Leaning in he whispered in your ear that he loved you and you had nothing to worry about.

“Did you get a good look at him?” John asked once he pulled away.

“No. What’s weird is he started walking toward the house until he saw you. He ran but stopped at the edge of the woods when you went into the basement. It’s like he only stared when he knew you couldn’t see him. . . Like he knew I couldn’t defend myself.” The last sentence came out breathy and you gritted your teeth at the realization.

“Well I’m here to stay. So if I’m what scares him off then he won’t be coming ‘round again.” John spoke adamantly. His hand went from stroking your back to gripping your hip and bringing you close. John had you tucked under his arm and by his side, firmly in his hold.

“Think Evie got a good look?” You asked which made John frown down at you.

“Feel like a fool for not believing her.” He ran his free hand ran down his face.

“Me too. We owe her an apology.” You placed your face in your hands feeling like an absolute idiot.

“Oh and would’ya look at that. Police thirty minutes late like usual.” Soap scoffed.

——————

It was an early Friday morning with the suns orange hues streaming through the windows of your kitchen. Breakfast was laid out on the table. A plate of eggs, bowl of beans, toast, sautéed mushrooms, and cut up fruit sat already picked over. Jj was scraping the last of the beans onto his plate with his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth. Lily had her open mouth pressed up to the side of her plate as he shoveled her eggs into her mouth that way. Before this method of eating, her eggs kept falling off her fork and made a mess on the floor that Molly was cleaning up.

“Do you have to go?” Lily asked with a mouth full of her breakfast.

Evelyn was wrapped around John’s leg like she had been for the past half hour. She was sat on his foot with her legs tight wound around his calf and arms locked around his knee. John didn’t say much about it but instead hobbled around the first floor with her attached to him. Usually if he allowed her to act out or be on the difficult side it made saying goodbye easier. John wasn’t sure why but you told him it’s because it made her feel important. That even when she was being difficult she felt the extra love with his patience.

“Yes. I’ll only be gone the weekend.” John reassured Lily who frowned at him.

“But there’s a new episode of Bluey.” She protested. A big pout formed on her face since John wouldn’t be here to watch it with her.

“We can watch it together when I get back.” John chuckled.

He found it cute that a new episode of Bluey should be enough for him to call out of work. Hobbling by you John started to help you finish up cleaning the kitchen.

“Not fair.” Lily mumbled.

“Don’t worry Lil, you’ll get use to dad having to jet off randomly.” Jj thought he was reassuring his little sister but it was like daggers to John’s heart.

John audibly scoffed, face dropping and looking to you for comfort. You only shrugged not knowing what to say. Jj was right in a sense but to you it was something you had still never gotten use to. You went back to your task ignoring your husband’s silent plea for reassurance.

“You okay over there?” John asked, you were taking up bread making and kneading the life out of some dough.

“Fine.” You mused not looking at John.

You were taking out your anxiety on this pour ball of dough. At this rate you were going to bake the world’s densest loaf of bread. All because you couldn’t stomach John being gone for the weekend.

“Soap’s going to be five minutes away. Whatever that was last week was just a freak one off. It’s been resolved with some handcuffs.” John tried out humor which didn’t seem to work. You simply kneaded harder and blew the fallen strands of hair out of your face.

“How are you so sure of that?” It was almost inaudible as you were snarky back. John had spent hours at this point reassuring you everything would be okay.

“Darling, we left my car on base for two nights in a row to make it look like I wasn’t home and there was nothing. I stayed up both nights on lookout.” John had hobbled over to you to try and get you to look at him.

You continued your task, ignoring the burn in your arms.

“The neighbor was arrested. We saw him getting arrested two days ago on our run. Remember?” Taking his index finger John hooked it under your chin and turned your head to look at him. His eyes were kind but he was met with a scowl from you.

“Yeah I remember.” You sighed. This didn’t quell your anxiety.

In fact it made you more uneasy that John was so sure. Your gut told you something was still wrong and John dismissed it as nerves. You two had been bickering about you trusting his judgment and you telling him to trust your intuition.

“Yeah! The policeman who doesn’t like our chickens was there!” Lily exclaimed as she told Jj details to a story he’d already heard. Jj looked back at his little sister with a dead pan expression, he was annoyed at her constant repeating as of late.

“Yeah? Was dad pushing you in the stroller since you’re such a big baby you didn’t wanna stay here with papa?” Jj’s retort had Lily’s lip wobbling.

She had thrown an absolute fit about wanting to join you and John on your run. John gave in and popped her in the stroller and took her along with the two of you that day. Lily got a front row seat to the neighbors arrest. You and John watched everything unfold along with some fellow neighbors.

“I’m not a baby!” Lily shouted back.

“Yeah? News to me.” With an eye roll Jj went back to eating.

“Mummy!” Lily shrieked unable to deal with her brother’s curtness.

“Jj.” You and John both used a stern tone as you warned Jj to knock it off.

“Sorry. Sorry. Let’s all pretend she’s not a big cry baby who always gets her way. I use to think Evie was a brat but Lily takes the cake.” The sass was getting on your nerves and before you or John could reprimand the attitude Jj was getting up.

“I’ll go to my room. It’s worth saying the truth.” He huffed and brought his plate to the sink.

“And-“ John started but Jj cut in again.

“I’ll put the switch on your bed don’t worry.” You couldn’t see him at this point because he was halfway down the hall but you could tell by his tone he rolled his eyes.

“What are we gonna do with him?” John looked at you dumbstruck. You ignored his question and went back to what was weighing on your mind.

“Maybe me and the kids should stay with my dad.” You suggested.

“Would that make you feel better? You can come back during the day, you I’ll get the house to yourself for a few hours.” John rolled right back into the conversation from before. Your comfort was much more important than his preteens rudeness.

“Doesn’t sound half bad.” The idea of having the house to yourself was too good to pass up on. Being here by yourself during the day didn’t feel scary.

“So you want to get rid of us!?” Evelyn accused you from where she sat on the floor still hugging John’s leg.

“We’d sell you if it wasn’t illegal.” John joked which made Evelyn gasp.

“C’mon they’d return them all by sundown.” You added on with a laugh. This seemed to rile up your oldest daughter.

“Good! At least someone would take me cuz no one’s gonna want a stinky old man! And they’d give Lily back for being such a cry baby!” Evelyn hissed. Your eyebrows scrunched together at the shot taken at Lily was was minding her own business. You looked up to see her with her mouth agape like a trout and a strawberry in hand.

“I’m not old.” John said with a straight face.

“I’m not a baby!” Lily shouted.

“Stop it. I don’t know why you and your bother are teasing your sister but it’s enough.” You warned.

“Evie. Say I’m not a baby.” Lily whined. Evelyn rolled her eyes and tossed her head back.

“You’re not a baby.” Evelyn groaned. She only said it so Lily wouldn’t cry. That seemed to be enough for Lily who went back to eating.

“I have to make sure my dad’s free.” You said while shaking your head at your children’s antics

“Why wouldn’t he be? That posh lady broke up with him.” Evelyn was staring up at you, still wrapped around John’s leg.

“Cold, Evelyn.” You laughed.

Your father dating history had been a slew of women who you thought were lack luster. John tried to get you to give them a chance but you brushed him off saying they would never stick around long.

“Now go sit.” Finally you ushered Evelyn off of John and over to the kitchen table to eat her cold breakfast.

“Fine.” Evelyn let go of John and stomped over to the table.

“Darling it’ll be okay.” John who was now able to move around freely and came up behind you and wrapped you in his arms. Those large rough hands you loved so much slid down your arms until his hands encompassed yours. Slowly moving them away from the bread dough, John’s breath was now in your ear.

“Yeah?” You softly asked.

John was going against his better judgment as he told you this. He felt safe and assured that nothing would happen. The problem had been taken care of and there was no way your neighbor was getting out of jail while he was away. John had looked into the charges and chose to keep them to himself but with how worried you seemed it was time to share.

“Look, neighbors been arrested for violating a restraining order of a woman he was stalking. It wasn’t the only restraining order he had put against him. He’s not around to do anything.” John spoke softly, wrapping his arms back around you and hugging you close to his chest.

“John, Officer Parker said it’s not him.” Turning your head to the side you looked up at John who wore a crooked smile.

“You really trust the police to do a good job?” The question hung in the air longer than you liked. You weren’t sure what your answer should be or if you even agreed with John’s sentiment.

“Anyway, I’ll have Soap check in on you throughout the day.” Letting you go John shrugged and gave you a kiss to the cheek, his beard leaving behind the usual scratchy feeling.

“So you’re not convinced it’s the nephew!?” Whipping around you had your finger in John’s face. He chuckled deeply and moved your hand back down to your side.

“I am convinced, you’re the one who’s not. But you know me darling. Not one to take chances when it comes to something as precious as you and the kids.” John was being sweetly flirtatious and you weren’t sure if you should blush or get him to be more serious.

“Well, I still have to call my dad. I’d feel okay if Soap was here for the weekend while you’re away-if my dad’s busy.” The thought of Soap spending the weekend finally quelled the anxiety that had taken root in your chest. Soap would keep you and your children safe, you were sure of that.

“Well he’s not staying here. The man can barely keep it in his pants as is, and I don’t need you falling for whatever charm he has that makes women flock to him in droves.” Talking with his hands John then shook his head in what seemed to be frustration and went to grab something from the fridge.

“John.” You whined at his reasoning.

“Stay with your dad and come by in the morning. You’ll get to enjoy the house to yourself. I’ll have Soap stop by in the morning and then see you off mid afternoon.” John’s mind was made up on how things would go and you could only roll your eyes at him.

“A lot of precautions for someone who thinks I’m safe.” You muttered.

“I know you’re safe but you wouldn’t be able to sleep unless I did all this.” Kissing your temple John grabbed a tub of ice cream and popped the lid off. Before you could move John snatched you around the waist and purred in your ear.

“Let’s send the kids to your dad’s tonight and you can show me how much you’ll miss me.” John flirted.

You rolled your eyes with a giggle and grabbed spoons. John was right and you would’ve bugged him to do all this but he had beaten you to it. With it just being you home you didn’t see the harm. It would be nice to have the house to yourself.

“And stop rolling your eyes. You wonder why the kids do it when they’re giving us attitude.” It sounded playful with a twist of seriousness and you subconsciously rolled your eyes again. This earned a firm smack to your bottom.

——————

“Hey, I miss you and clearly you miss me too. The flowers are beautiful. Who’d you get to drop them off? Ended up staying at your sisters last night, had too much wine to drive to my dads. Anyway got here pretty early and slept off the hangover. I didn’t even hear who stopped by with the flowers cuz I slept in for once. Ha! Crazy huh? Me sleeping in. Feels like a dream. Welp, I miss you and can’t wait to see you on Monday. Be safe and come back in one piece. I love you John.” You hung up, wondering when John would get a chance to check his voicemail.

You loved leaving him long winded voicemails. The first time you ever did it was when you were dating. John gushed about it on the way home from you picking him up from the airport. He went on and on about how hard it was to not get to talk to you when he wanted, so to have a voicemail where it was like having a conversation made everything feel better. So you never stopped doing it and whenever John called back he prattled on like the conversation was fresh and not hours, days, or weeks old.

The roses on the kitchen counter were gorgeous which was what spurred on that voicemail. Long stemmed and in the vase you inherited from your mother. It was a Persian blue vase that was portrayed in one of your mother’s painting hanging up in your bedroom.

Cocking your head to the side you stared at the vase for a minute longer. Something was prying at your mind, something unsettling. This vase was suppose to be in your office. You had it put away, packaged neatly and safely so it could never be damaged. That was the entire point of why the painting was hung up. So you could still see it but not risk it ever being broken.

You couldn’t remember if you told John where you had put it. It was making you wonder if he had gone through your office to find it. But why would he do that, when John knew not to take this out considering the last time he brought out one of your mother’s vases it was shattered by mistake.

Reaching forward you plaid with one of the fallen rose petals on the counter. Your mind was stuck on the Persian blue vase. No way were these delivered by an outside source. There was no way a stranger could get into your home. So it had to be someone you knew. John would never ask any of his family members to go rifling through your office. Maybe Soap was the one to drop them off when he checked on you this morning, but still why would he go in your office. The only person John would ever ask to do that was your father.

So, you called your dad.

“Hey, why didn’t you stay for breakfast? Hope taking mums vase out didn’t upset you. I know how certain things of hers hurt a little bit more than others. Anyway, thanks for doing that so John could surprise me. Call me back.” Hanging up you eye’d the flowers one more time before going to make yourself breakfast.

Your day continued from there. It was nice having the house to yourself. It almost never happened so when you found yourself eating junk food all day while watching tv you decided you had to do at least one productive thing. Soap had stopped by again and told you he’d be seeing you off around 5. Around dinner time you had just finished throwing a load of laundry in when your phone rang.

A large grin spread across your face. Illuminated on your phone screen was a picture of John looking content. He was buried in the sand from his waist down with a margarita in hand and wearing his boonie hat. It was from your last holiday abroad and like every beach vacation he let the kids bury him in the sand. It was a ploy to tire them out, not have to run around with them, and get his drinks served directly to him.

“Hey-“

“What flowers?” John’s voice was deadly serious.

You were a bit taken aback. You were expecting charm, or a flirty greeting. Instead you got demanding words that made you feel weightless for a second.

“Uh, there’s flowers on the kitchen island. Roses to be specific, the long stem that I like. Th-they’re in my mums blue vase that I keep in my office.” You stuttered a bit.

There was this feeling of dread taking over. Maybe John forgot he told your dad to do this. Or maybe your dad just did it to be sweet and you should call him again to check. Soap could’ve done it and John pulled out the vas before he left. John calling you and sounding so serious was raising the alarm bells in your head.

“Darling, I didn’t order you flowers.” John sounded even, almost too calm.

You gulped down the rock forming in your throat. There had to be an explanation. John said you were safe, you believed you were safe. Soap checked up on you twice today, how could you be anything but safe.

“Maybe my dad stopped by-“

“He has the kids. You really think they wouldn’t have come and woke you up?” John’s words were making your head feel staticky.

“Who put them there?” You whispered.

Your heart was beating so loud it was making your ears ring. You stepped out into the kitchen for a moment and looked to see if anything else was out of place. The setting sun was casting scattered hues of purples and oranges across your colorful kitchen.

Your eyes slowly moved over the room and stopped at the roses standing tall in the center of the kitchen island. The way your head moved felt like a magnet slowly pulling you to look at the slightly ajar basement door. The whites of your eyes felt dry as you stared at it, phone pressed to your ear and hand shaking. That door had been closed all day and no one but you was home to open it.

“Where are you?” John’s thick voice interpreted your thoughts. Taking a step back into the laundry room you slowly started to shut the door.

“The laundry room. Th-the basement door- it- it’s crack-ed.” You whispered.

“Lock the doors and stay in there. There’s a tool box on the shelf above the dryer. I hid a knife in there, grab it. Soap will be there soon. I’m going to call you right back.” John spoke to you calmly to hopefully keep you from freaking out.

This was a situation that had his heart about to leap out of his throat. The fact he wasn’t there to handle whatever was happening terrified him. He could only imagine the fear you were facing being home alone with a possible threat in your home.

“Shouldn’t I hide in my office like we’ve planned? Maybe I opened the door and just forgot? I can be forgetful! I-I must have done it!” This was always the plan if anything bad happened. It was to hide in your office. You couldn’t come to terms with the truth staring you straight in the face.

“No. Stay exactly where you are and do what I said. Soap will be there soon.” John spoke forcefully this time. With the facts presented to him he had a good idea what would play out if you went down those basement stairs.

“J-John.” His name came out in a broken sob.

John could hear you fumbling around as quietly as you could. The sound of the toolbox rattling from your shaky hands had his heart beating faster. Your ragged breathing was blowing the speaker out and light sniffles were audible.

“Yes?” John asked.

“I love you.” You spoke with desperation and John could hear it in your voice.

“I love you too. I’ll call right back. Hold tight.” John kept composed for you and your sanity.

You weren’t sure how much time passed. All you knew is it was enough for you to lock yourself in the laundry room, grab the switch blade, and squat in the corner like a cowering animal.

Your phone buzzed and you saw it was John.

“John- I’m scared.”

“It’s okay. Soaps a few minutes away.” The gravely tone of Jones voice helped you feel safe for a brief moment until you realized he was still over seas. It was a hard pill to swallow that John wasn’t near by to protect you. You trusted Soap but no one would fight for you the way John would.

“Who could’ve- why would they- how’d they know about my mums vase? Where I put it? What it means to me?” You babbled out.

“Darling, I’m going to be honest with you-“ John paused and you heard him taking a deep breath.

“I think he’s in the house and I think it’s someone you know personally.” John’s words had you straightening with a chill running up your spine. It felt like you were going to be sick.

“H-how? Where?” You asked.

“I don’t know. . . but I think your office. Why else would the vase be out if not to have you go downstairs and check on things.” John seemed rushed as he explained his reasoning. He didn’t want you to be anymore scared than you originally were but he wanted you to be prepared for the worst.

“When are you coming home?” You began to weep down the line. Pathetic sobs echoed down the line turning John’s rage white hot.

“Making arrangements as soon as Soap gets there.” John spoke to no response. All he could hear were your quiet fearful sobs on the line.

You weren’t sure why you did it but you crawled over to the door that led to your kitchen. Unlocking it with shaky hands, you cracked it open the tiniest bit. The kitchen table sat between the laundry room and basement door. But you could just peer through the chair and table legs to see the door still ajar.

Your heart stopped in that moment. In the orange glow of the setting sun you saw one eye so dark it looked black staring right at you. Unblinking and with a vacant stare the one eye watched you in such a predatory way you couldn’t look away. Terror had clutched so tightly it stole the air from your lungs. You could make out just the edge of a nose with pale skin, sunken eye so wide it was unnatural, and in this moment you had never been more scared in your life. Your bladder gave out and you stared back as you looked death in the eye.

“Darling? Are you okay?” John asked once he heard your ragged breathing stop.

Not taking your eyes off the person staring at you, you shut the door and locked it again. You were dead, there was no making it out of this alive. And in the moment where fear should be the most prevalent it washed away like the tide on the shore. Clutching the knife firmly in your hand you gritted your teeth and prepared yourself to fight for your life.

“Someone’s in the basement. I opened the laundry room door for a second to see if the coast was clear and he was staring back at me from the bottom corner of the door.” The calmness spooked even your husband.

It was not a fault of yours but in moments of fight or flight you tended to freeze up. So to hear you so calm like you were ready to brave the storm sent shivers through John’s body. You clearly knew how much worse this was than he did.

Knocking sounded on the side door of the laundry room that lead out to the drive way. You clamped your hand over your mouth to keep yourself from screaming. Breathing out through your nose with eyes bugging out of your head you scrambled for it. On your feet you went to fling the door open but stoped yourself. You had no idea who was on the other side, you’d assumed it was Soap.

“Indy, it’s me. Open up.” The familiar sound of Soaps voice made you gasp.

Flinging the door open Soap stood there dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt. His hair was neatly done and he stared back at you with an even expression. There was that look in his eyes that John would get at times that you could never quite name. To you seemed animalistic, like a need to kill.

Soap took in the sight of you. Bleary eyed, sweating like you’d run a marathon, and a dark wet patch running down your left leg. You were petrified, unable to find words and you simply shook and stepped out on to the driveway.

“C’mon, in the car now.” In one fluid motion Soap had taken the knife from your hands and had you by the elbow.

He lead you quickly and firmly over to his truck and opened the door and practically shoved you in. Soap was at the drivers side in a flash and soon was peeling out of your driveway. With one hand on the wheel Soap began to search around for something in the back seat until he pulled out a pair of his sweat pants and handed them to you.

“Put those on and chuck the ones you’ve got on in the back.” Soap focused on the road his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel.

The boys in 141 had become rather protective of you, each in their own ways. Having known you for this long you’d created a friendship with them. But after seeing you kidnapped and Soap being the one to find you and carry you out, he had become particularly protective.

“I won’t look.” He added but that didn’t seem to matter to you.

You were already shucking off your soiled jeans and panties and sliding into Soaps grey sweatpants. You noticed how soft they felt and they smelled of lavender making you wonder if his new girlfriend had washed them for him. It was a nice distracting thought from the panic setting your skin ablaze.

“You alright?” Soap asked and then looked at you.

He’d forgotten how he said he would not look and accidentally saw half your bare ass as you slid his sweatpants on. It was obvious you were not alright. Your hair was a mess, eyes bloodshot and puffy, and teeth bared as you held back what seemed to be sobs. Soap was astonished by your ability to hold yourself together. You were safe now and still trying to be strong.

“He-he’s in the h-Ouse.” It felt like acid spewed from your mouth as you said those words.

“Ghost is almost there and he’ll be searching your home.” Soap spoke and placed a hand on your knee as a way to comfort you.

It was that touch that had everything crashing down. The image of the unblinking eye staring back at you was seared into your minds eye. Your trembling hands started to shake violently and your head was spinning.

“Soap, pull over.” You gasped and began coughing.

“What, why?” Soaps head snapped to look at you like you were crazy. You were on a busy road it wasn’t particularly safe to pull over.

“I’m gonna be sick.” You clamped your hand over your mouth as you felt your stomach about to betray you.

Soap immediately pulled off to the side of the road. He watched as you practically tumbled out of the passenger seat and were profusely sick. It was a shock to him that this was enough to get you reacting like that. You wouldn’t last a minute with 141 if this is how you handled stress. But then it started to occur to him that you were a civilian. This wasn’t something you knew how to handle or could compartmentalize.

It started to make sense to Soap why your youngest, Lily, was so sensitive. Soap always wondered who she got it from or if it was just how Lily was. That incredibly friendly and confident demeanor you had did not help you under stress. In fact you were a bit of an anxious wreck under pressure and Lily was too. Soap didn’t know but you had reacted the same way Lily did when John yelled at her. Only you were staring death in the face.

Getting back in to the car with watery eyes you nodded at Soap to keep driving. You felt somewhat better after being sick. That didn’t stop the tears from flowing as you continued to cry.

“You okay?” Soap had no idea how to comfort you, he never really knew what to do when a woman started crying. John warned him you would be a whirlwind but this was a lot more than Soap could understand.

“No.” You sobbed into your hands.

“It’ll be okay.” Soap sounded unsure but it was more from your emotional reaction.

“I just- I can’t stop thinking what would’ve happened if I didn’t send the kids for a sleep over with my dad.” You wailed, absolutely inconsolable.

Things would have been different if your children were home. You didn’t know what you would’ve done if you were attacked while they were home. Or if one of them went into the basement without you knowing. There was no doubt in your mind you would have ended up dead with the kids home. That Jj would’ve had to take his sisters and run while you fought to give them a head start.

“I- I don’t know. But you would’ve kept them safe.” Soap didn’t sound like he believed himself and you weren’t sure you did either.

You versus a man the size of John. A man who out ran your husband, took a dog bite like it was nothing and got away. Yes, you would’ve fought with every fiber of your being to keep your children safe; but would you have actually been able to fight him off and keep your children safe?

“I’m gonna be sick again.”

——————

Soap had taken you to Ghost and Dove’s house after picking you up. It was a complete shit show when you walked through their front door. Dove immediately brought you to her room where you had a panic attack and ended up crying in her arms. At one point she excused herself and you thought it was to attend to her children. You showered and she gave you some clothes to wear.

You were there for hours, the night sky had taken over and midnight approached. You hadn’t heard from John but Soap informed you he was to stay by your side at all times; it was ‘Captains orders.’ You had calmed down significantly with Dove’s help. It reminded you why she was such a huge asset to 141 during the time she served with them years ago. Ghost had mentioned her proclivity in calming down prisoners of war and she was truly your godsend.

You were sitting at her circular kitchen table having tea with her and Soap. Food wasn’t appealing so you ignored her insistence on your eating something. Soap ate enough for the two of you which was a pleasant distraction. You had called your dad and wished each one of your children goodnight. It was the only solace you could find in the situation and you cried over the picture of all three of them asleep in the guest bed at your father’s flat.

It seemed that things had finally cooled down for you. That the world wasn’t crashing down anymore. Dove and Soap both assured you Simon had things handled and to just give it time. So that was what you did until he walked through his back door dressed in all black with his balaclava on.

“Ghost! What happened was everything-“ You were standing up ready to ask a million questions. Dove was quick to stand with you and place her hand on your shoulder to keep you calm.

“Did you go into your basement at all during the day?” Simon asked which instantly put you on edge.

“Uh- no. No I hung around the first floor all day. I-I saw someone some-some psycho staring at me through the cracked basement door right before Soap got me.” You words tumbled out and you were shaking all over again. You would never be able to get that image out of your head.

“Soap, cmon, need your help.” And with that Simon was exiting and heading back to his truck. That wasn’t enough for you. You shrugged Dove off and dashed outside to confront Simon.

“Wait what happened!? W-was the guy in my office!” You demanded. Simon turned on his heels, startling you at his quick movement.

You jumped backward and coward at his hulking frame, flinching as if he were about to strike you. Simon faltered for a moment seeing you like this. He was use to seeing you as a spitfire who loved giving him a hard time. Now wasn’t the time for him to pretend like he didn’t like you. In fact some softness for once was in order and he realized that. Placing a hand gingerly on your shoulder it was a surprise to you he could have such a gentle touch. You assumed everything he grasped would crack and crumble beneath his grip.

“There’s nothing you need to worry about now. Get some rest, no one will be bothering you again.” Ghost spoke with such certainty it made you know exactly what he meant without him actually saying it.

“What’s that suppose to mean?” With a trembling lip you watched as Simon shook his head in conformation to the silent question hanging in the air.

“C’mon Indy, I set up the couch for you.” Dove grabbed your hand a moment later and lead you inside to sleep for the night.

——————

Wheezing metal, thudding of belonging against the truck bed, and tires snapping twigs and branches underneath the weight of three murderous men cut through the heavy air. The night was pitch black, the only light being the yellow glow of the trucks headlights. Ghost and Soap were taking John Price out into the woods.

“How the hell did he get past you?” John seemed aggravated with Soap.

John hadn’t even stopped in to see you. He headed straight here once his boots touched home soil. Dove assured John you were safe and okay. As much as it pained him, John knew you could wait while he finished handling things.

“Flowers weren’t there when I checked on her in the morning. We only talked on your front porch that afternoon and she was getting ready to head out after she did some laundry. Never brought up the flowers.” Simon wasn’t happy with Soaps response.

“Doesn’t fucking matter. You should have checked the house.” Simon snapped aggressively.

“She told me not to worry. That it would be indecent for me to come in. Not sure why.” Soap answered matter of factly.

John knew why you’d told Soap not to worry. You were getting your own alone time which had included some delicate items left out on your bed that you were embarrassed for Soap to see. So you sent him away not thinking much of it and protecting your privacy.

“She wouldn’t have let Soap search the house. So drop it.” John wasn’t going to get into it. It was obvious enough in his mind and he didn’t see any reason to humiliate you more than you currently felt.

“When I got there the power was cut. Would have forced her down to the basement to fiddle with the circuit breakers.” Ghost continued the tone of his voice menacing. It was clear he was wound up by the events although he kept his composure.

“He really wanted her to stumble upon him.” John muttered.

John hated that you saw the man in your home. That you were so petrified you wet yourself in fear and he witnessed that. This stranger got exactly what he wanted and it was to see you scared for your life.

“Think he got off on her being terrified. And finding a man in the basement when she’s all alone would’ve been the most terrifying thing for her.” Soap added.

“Had a black duffle bag filled with things he was planning on using. He hadn’t realized she fled out the side door. He was searching for her when I got there. Humming some tune and calling her by name. . . Doing creepy fucking shit to scare her.” Ghost explained.

Knowing this man was lurking around your house and playing out his sick and twisted fantasy was making John’s face twitch. His anger was palpable and made the truck feel suffocating. It sounded like one of those horror movies you two occasionally watched. Only this time you had almost lived it.

“Duffle bag?” John was seething at this point. He could only image what kind of tools someone so depraved would bring along.

“I disposed of everything. Besides this and his journal.” Ghost handed over a prescription bottle of little blue pills and that was all John needed to know what the man’s intentions were.

It was more than to scare you. It was to do unspeakable things, torture you, and leave you for dead.

John had suspected that this was someone you knew personally. Someone who would be able to find out small details about you and it seem innocuous. John had been wracking his brain on who it could be and his mind kept sticking to one person in particular. One person who’d been snooping around his home in broad daylight and no one thought twice about.

Then John read the name on the bottle and all his suspicions were confirmed.

“We know him. It’s the fuckin’ cop that’s been sniffing around.” John whispered as he gripped the orange plastic so tightly it creaked against his hand.

“Knew.” Was all Ghost said.

“Ya’ killed a fuckin’ cop.” Soap scoffed while shaking his head.

“How’d you do it?” John asked looking from Simon to Soap.

The assumption was the two men took care of it together. That they made him suffer because that’s what John would have preferred. In the end John felt robbed. That he had his opportunity to take his rage out on the perpetrator stolen. John would’ve had him begging for death and that still wouldn’t have been enough for him.

“It was done when I got there.” Soap nodded to Simon. Rolling his shoulder back Simon kept his eyes fixed on the dirt path he drove down in the dead of night.

“Execution style. Let him know he was lucky for that. If it had been you who found him he’d be begging for a bullet.” Simon practically spat the words out, his disgust evident as he spoke about a man he found vile.

“So you’re taking me to him?” John asked with a sigh.

It wasn’t Simon’s fault he couldn’t keep the man alive for him. John saw that Ghost had secured you and your kids safety by ending it quick and easy. There was no longer a threat and you all could sleep easy.

“Thought it best you know all the details Cap.” Soap leaned forward as he spoke and then pointed to the dry birch tree off to the side of the path.

“Here.” Ghost parked the truck and didnt wait to get out.

The three men piled out and stayed silent as Soap lead them through the woods and Simon covered their tracks. Even if someone found the body it wouldn’t be identifiable or traced back to any of them. About two miles off the beaten path they arrived to the spot where Simon carried out his mercy kill.

There was a freshly disturbed plot of dirt with ruffage and leaves thrown over top. Looking to Soap and then Ghost, no words needed to be exchanged. This was where the man who would’ve done unspeakable things to you lay six feet under.

Walking over to the spot where this man had been laid to rest Soap and Ghost wondered what Price would do. All they could see was his back as his shoulder rolled back and he fiddled with something at waist level. Soon they could hear the clink of metal from John’s belt and then a steady stream.

Sharing a look Soap scoffed darkly and Ghost stayed eerily silent. Soap had no idea what he would’ve done in this situation if he were John, all he knew was the man had every right to lose his mind but wasn’t. His reaction was to piss on the man’s grave and Soap couldn’t blame him for that.

Ghost commended Price for keeping his cool. If the rolls were reversed Simon would has lost his grip. If anyone ever threatened his wife and entered his home where his children rested their heads at night Simon would light the world ablaze in his wrath.

“A bullet was too kind, Simon.” The words were growled over the sound of John’s belt clinking once more as he fastened it.

“Saving him for you wasn’t an option.” Simon spoke evenly.

“Lucky bastard.” Was all John said before heading back to the truck.

——————

It was late when John finally returned home. Your children were all tucked into bed and Gaz had said his goodbyes to his captain. Gaz had told him you went to bed a few hours ago and he hadn’t heard anything since. John was expecting to walk into the room with you fast asleep. But when he stepped through your bedroom door he was immediately met with you flinging yourself into his arms.

“Tell me everything’s okay. Tell me it’s over with and the guys arrested.” You babbled as your embrace grew tighter and tighter.

John was showing now signs of letting you go and you wanted to be held until all these horrible feelings went away. You wanted to be so close to him that you could crawl under his skin and set up camp. Melding into him was the only way to fell better. Maybe he could wear you as a backpack so you didn’t have to let go. You were starting to understand why Evelyn wrapped herself around John’s leg the other day. Something about not having to let go and John being okay with it left you feeling cared for and protected.

“He’s dealt with.” John tried to reassure you.

Without thinking and acting naturally John picked you up and you responded by wrapping your legs around his waist. John brought you over to your shared bed and plopped down on his side so you were laying on your back and he was pressing you into the mattress.

“Like dead?” You pushed John off you by the shoulder. Now with both hands on either side of your head he stared down at you. His face was emotionless as he kept his composure which wasn’t reassuring to the question you just asked.

“Darling-“ John was cut off by you sitting up and staring at him confused and unsure. You were sitting criss cross on the bed while John sat up straight with his feet on the floor.

“Is the guy dead John? Did Ghost kill him? Did you kill him!?” The questions rolled of your tongue.

John stared at you with a serious expression. You didn’t need him to answer to know the man was most likely dead. You came to that conclusion quickly just by the way John was acting.

“John did you kill him?” You asked again.

“No.” He said adamantly. You took a breath realizing what this meant.

“So Ghost did?” You shook your head to see if John would mimic you and silently admit to it; but he didn’t.

John didn’t answer this time. He turned his gaze to your open bedroom door and stared out into the dark hallway. The lack of response had you panicking in a whole new way. Before John knew it you were standing and shutting the door then frantically pacing.

“Okay. Okay. Oh fuck. That’s bad John. That’s really bad.” Your fingers were in your hair as you began to nervously tidy your room. John watched you pace and pick up the pile of clothes on the floor and then start fiddling with things on your dresser.

“Nothing happened. All you need to know is he won’t be bugging our family again.” John spoke evenly but was becoming stressed by your pacing and how you nervously tidied the room.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” You stopped in your tracks as your mind came up with vicious scenarios.

Had Ghost stumbled upon something so depraved that it drove him to murder this stranger in your home. Then you started to freak out. Was someone murdered in your home? Were the police going to come for you and John as accomplices? Would Ghost be arrested for murder and miss out on his family all because of you?

“Sit, it’s okay.” John guided you to sit on the foot of your bed. You had stopped babbling and pacing but now you were staring blankly off into space which worried John more than the nervousness.

“Does Dove know?” Your head snapped up realizing Simon’s wife would probably fall apart at the news.

If you found out John killed someone on your behalf you weren’t sure you’d be able to recover from the shock. You would constantly be worrying about him being arrested or someone coming after him. There would be a worry that the guilt would eat him alive. Although, little did you know murder was hardly off the table for John. He found that he could live quite comfortably with a guilty conscious on that front.

John took a moment before speaking. He was trying to weigh if the truth was worth you knowing. Ultimately he decided being honest was better and would hopefully create more of an understanding between you two. It was an attempt to get you closer to his way of thinking and that violence was in fact was a solution for some scenarios.

“In for a penny, I guess. . . It was her idea.” John’s words shook you to your core.

“Am I just surrounded by crazy? What kind of example are we setting for our kids.” You placed your face in yours hands.

John knew this was going to be hard for you to understand. As a person who had never seen war but experience violence and came out of it still not wishing death upon anyone, you would struggle to accept things. You had been kidnapped once and beat to a pulp and you had never truly recovered from that mentally. John couldn’t tell you the true danger you were in, for fear you’d live you life scared. That the man who waited for you in your basement had despicable plans for you for days and your survival would have left you so damaged John wondered if you would have chosen death instead. And that was without your children home. The whole situation was John’s worst nightmare but the thought that your little girls and son could have been subject to such cruelty made John’s blood run cold.

“I’m going to be candid with you. That man had horrible things planned for you. God only knows what he had planned if Jj, Evelyn, and Lily were home with you, love.” John took a deep breath before continuing.

“Simon made a choice where the outcome guaranteed your safety, the kids safety. That there would be no chance of it happening again or the law failing us.” Placing his hand on your shoulder John wasn’t sure if you were convinced. He was crouched in front of you now and hoping by some miracle you’d be okay with this.

“He made the right choice. I respect his decision.” John spoke as if it were fact. It was his way of egging you on for a reaction. It was killing him seeing you silently sitting on the foot of your bed with your face in your hands.

“How do we begin to thank him? I’ve never owed someone my life before.” Your attempt at humor came off dry and unfunny but John knew you were trying to come around to this idea.

“See it as him and I are even.” John chuckled with no humor and nodded to you as a silent thanks for not freaking out.

“You would’ve done the same?” You asked hoping that John’s response would somehow make this less morally confusing.

“Without a second thought. If someone threatened Dove and her kids the way you were-“ John had to pause as he realized he was growling the words and sounded as if he was losing his grip.

“Well, I’ll let you use your imagination on what I would’ve done.” He forced a smile and hated how you were staring at him as if he had a few screws loose.

Taking a breath you were convincing yourself this was fine. It had to be fine because this was the truth and you’d have to keep on living your life one way or another. At the end of the day the kids were safe and you wouldn’t have to worry about anything like this again.

“Do I bake him a cake?” You looked at John seriously.

The fact you meant what you were asking made John snort out a laugh. He wasn’t sure if you were sweet for that or a bit off your rocker.

“Don’t laugh at me.” You snapped.

“I don’t think he expects a cake, darling. If he did our yard would be fertilized with the blood of his enemies.” John joked.

“That’s not funny.” You whined.

“It is. You’ll come ‘round, just give it time.”

“I’m still baking him a cake.” You mumbled.

——————

“Mum police are here again!” Jj called from the front door.

You had just gotten Lily down for her nap and were coming down the stairs. The officer was standing in your foyer clearly having stepped in on his own or Jj invited him in.

“Jj go hang out in your room for a little.” You smiled sweetly and he nodded.

“And don’t invite police in again, you know how your dad feels about that.” You whispered and he nodded seemingly confused.

“I thought it was just that other cop.” Jj whispered back. You paused with your mouth open to say something and then stopped. With a shrug you sent Jj on his way and turned your attention to the officer in your home.

“Hello, I’m Officer Fitzpatrick.” The middle aged man nodded to you.

“Uh, hi. Would’ve thought Officer Parker would be the one stopping by if it was police.” It was a poor attempt at humor that didn’t seem to affect the officer.

“He’s been dealing with a different case, regarding your neighbor down the street.” He sounded almost annoyed by this fact.

“This is about the break in that happened here recently.” He continued.

“Let’s talk on the porch, I don’t want my kids to hear.” Motioning to your door you and the officer walked on to your front porch and you shut the door behind you.

“Yes. Have there been anymore sightings like you’ve reported in the past. With the arrest of your neighbor and the break in here it seems a lot of people in the area are on edge. Considering your neighbor was in custody when the break in happened we want to make sure we have the right guy.” By the end of his long winded explanation you felt somewhat lectured. As if you were some clueless woman who had no idea what was going on.

“Uh- haven’t seen anything.” You answered dismissively.

“When was the last time there was suspicious activity?” It was like this officer was socially inept how he continued his barrage of questions.

“The break in. Before that officer Parker mentioned a peeping Tom. We assumed it was the neighbor.” You felt off explaining these things. Like these were things the officer should know.

“A peeping Tom? Did he say who reported this?” You watched as the man scribbled down in his note book.

“No. He told me he couldn’t disclose that information.” You had been slowly inching your way back to the front door.

“Hm. The break in-”

“You know I don’t really want to be doing this again. It spooked my family pretty bad, especially me. So I’m going to go back inside.” You had already opened the door and were ready to slip back inside.

“I have a few more questions.” Officer Fitzpatrick urged.

“Oi, leave her be. I can answer anything you need to know.” John was just rounding the house.

He was stepping out of your garden and shutting the rod iron fence behind him. You were curious what he was doing in there and waited for him to join you. John didn’t need this cop drudging up your feelings about the matter. You were still shaken up and would cry at times about your guilt. That didn’t even scratch the surface of the anxiety you were left with.

John now had to check the house top to bottom before bed and even then you had trouble falling and staying asleep. You refused to go down to your office unless John accompanied you and overall were having trouble settling back in to normal life. It was no fault of your own John admitted what happened traumatized you. So, with a cop on his doorstep, asking questions that left you feeling morally bankrupt, John didn’t feel like this was a great way for you to heal.

“Go inside darling.” John nodded at you.

No part of him wanted you to realize what was going on but it was too late for that. Things were weighing on you enough and as your husband, John wanted to protect you. The details of what happened were unimportant and with a cop now sniffing around, John didn’t trust that you wouldn’t accidentally tip him off.

Walking back inside you saw Lily holding on to the posts of the railing and going down the stairs one at the time. She had a big smile on her face and waved to you as she got to the bottom stair.

“Lily, you should be sleeping.” You said in a chipper tone with a smile.

“Mummy.” Lily stopped on the bottom step and spoke seriously.

“Yes.” You laughed.

“I remember who gave me the tulip at swim.” The big toothy grin sent a shiver down your spine.

John hadn’t specified who broke in. You trusted him when he told you it was better you didn’t know.

“It was Mr. Jamie.” This was the fourth or fifth person Lily had named as to who gave her the tulip. She had convinced herself if she could remember then John would never yell at her again.

“My friend?” You shook your head and went to take Lily back upstairs.

“Yes.” She seemed very serious but you were use to her misremembering things, after all she was four.

“I think you’re remembering it wrong sweetheart.” Kissing her head Lily rolled her eyes.

“Carry me?” Lily pursed her lips and looked up at you through her eyelashes. You did as she asked and went and napped with her upstairs. Some sleep felt better than worrying yourself sick about everything going on.

——————

“The kids are gonna love this.” You snickered.

You and John were at the edge of the pond in your back yard setting up a fun surprise for the kids. They had all fallen asleep in the living room after a day spent at the trampoline park. You made a joke about wanting to relax in a lazy river and John thought you could float on the pond.

So here you were, blowing up fun shaped rafts to float on. There was one for each of you besides Lily. You had set up a comfy spot for her on the dock to cuddle with Molly instead. Both you and John knew there was no chance Lily would get on a raft.

Looking up from your task you were surprised at the guest who arrived. You stopped what you were doing to watch as a familiar face approached you and John.

“Where the fuck is he!?” Officer Parker voice was venomous as he stormed past you and right toward John like he was looking for a fight.

“Woah what’s-“

Before you could finish Officer Parker took a swing at John. John hadn’t seen this coming and got clipped on the jaw, the punch barely connecting. You thought John would be livid but he looked amused, like when Jj would play fight with him. Officer Parker was going all in, swing after swing trying to hit your husband. John kept evading like it was child’s play until Parker full on lunged and tried to tackle John.

Now it was John’s turn and he swung fast and hard. The sound of his fist connecting full force with Officer Parker’s face felt like getting hit by a Mac Truck. Parker fell hard and you gasped at the sound of his head smacking against the ground. Instinctually Parker grabbed his eye where he’d been struck.

“John stop!!” You tugged John’s elbow but he shook you off. John already had Officer Parker by the collar and started to drag him like a rag doll.

“Let. Go. Or I’ll fucking kill you!” Officer Parker barked at John, his legs flailing as he tried to get up. Each attempt at getting up John would pull roughly and slam Parker into the earth and then continue dragging the man toward the pond.

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!” Park screamed, his voice being drown out by the splashing of water as John dragged him into the pond.

“Never gonna get the chance mate.” John growled as he pulled Parker in front of him, spat in his face, and then shoved him with all his strength under the water of the pond.

“John you’re gonna drown him!” You screeched, unwilling to get involved.

“That’s the point.” It sounded like a toss away comment.

John pulled Officer Parker out of the water for a second. The man flailed and gasped for air and then was brutally submerged again. John did this two more times as you begged him to stop.

“Stop! You’re actually gonna kill him!” You started to throw pool toys at John and they simply bounced off of him and floated around him as he drowned the police officer.

“Good.” Johns teeth were gritted yet amazingly he spoke evenly. It sounded like he was mowing the lawn and you asked him if he wanted water. As if drowning a man in the pond behind your house was a mundane task.

“The kids are home STOP!” This time you shrieked so loud it seemed to break through to John.

That was enough and John pulled the officer from the water and then dropped him so he went under on his own. Flailing his arms the officer was trying to swim to the surface and was struggling. You immediately took the few steps over to him and grabbed his hand and pulled until he was crawling out of your pond and gasping for air.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” Officer Parker was still coughing up water.

“You threatened to kill me. I was defending myself.” The excuse held no weight and you weren’t sure if John was being serious.

John trudged out of the water and brushed down his heard. His jeans were soaked from the knees down and his shirt was damp down the center. For someone who had just almost murdered a man John seemed incredibly calm. These were the moment you swore he was out of his mind. Being so comfortable with violence would never be something you could become accustom to unlike your husband.

“You’re going to go to prison for assaulting a fucking cop, John!” You were melting down about the implication of assaulting a police officer. The last thing you needed was John in jail and you raising three kids on your own.

“HA! No I’m not!” John laughed loud enough it carried across the yard. He was shaking his head and wagging his finger at you as if you were some naughty child caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

“What do you mean?” You took a few steps away from Officer Parker feeling uneasy about being close to him.

“You gonna tell her?” John looked a bit deranged as he asked the cop and then looked to you.

“What? Tell me it wasn’t actually the neighbor?” You snapped at John.

All of this was so confusing. After everything, you wanted a peaceful day with your children but again this buisness was being brought up when all you needed was to leave it behind.

“I was wrong about the neighbor, I’ll give you that. But he was still a fuckin’ creep so actually- you know what I was right! I was right about him too.” John was ranting at this point.

“You sound insane.” You told John hoping someone would explain what was going on.

“But this pricks brother was the one stalking you. Genius over here caught a wiff and I assume was trying to get ahead of it.” John was half shouting at this point and went as far as to kick Officer Parker over when he tried to get to his feet.

“I don’t know his brother- do I?” You said as you pushed John away before he started beating Parker senseless.

“He fucking works for you. Jamie Parker. And this muppet thought framing the neighbor would buy him time to get brother dearest to leave you be. . . Then I assume he realized neighbor boy was actually a fucking creep and had to deal with that. Am I wrong?” After another tirade you looked from John to Officer Parker for confirmation.

“Where is he?” Officer Parker struggled to get to his feet after being kicked to the ground pretty hard.

He was still coughing and now holding his shoulder from John’s blow. Officer Parker didn’t seem as angry anymore. It was probably because John just proved he’d drown him in the pond if he tried anything again.

“Only thing I can’t figure out is why you told Y/N you didn’t think it was the neighbor. That it had to be someone who knew her maiden name?” John asked, more like demanded.

“Where is he!” He hadn’t fully caught his breath but Officer Parker found the strength to yell.

“No clue. Ran off after he broke in.” John lied so convincingly you almost believed him.

“No, absolutely not. He’s a little weird but he’s been so normal. I’ve been mentoring him, we-“ You took a deep calming breath that didn’t help at all.

Jamie was not the person you thought would do this. He was a young man, mid twenties and handsome. He could’ve had any girl with a little bit of effort. There was no way he fancied you enough to do all this. Yes he was a little awkward at times and asked invasive questions but you chalked it up to him being young.

“We’ve had him over for dinner.” John finished for you.

“He’s fancied you since before you even knew who he was. You lectured at his university once as a favor to his professor. It’s been going on for years, he just got out of hand when you started mentoring him.” Officer Parker finally let on to what he knew.

“Out of hand!? Get the fuck off my property or I really will drown you.” John tried to charge Parker.

You quickly placed your hands on his chest to stop him because you knew John wouldn’t truck through you to get to the officer. The fact Parker put it so lightly only fueled John’s rage.

“Stop it!” You snapped at John.

“Why’d you get involved?” You asked but Officer Parker shook his head at you as if you were annoying.

Turning to John you could see it was taking all of his will power not to murder Parker.

“Answer her.” John ordered.

“Couldn’t turn him in. He’s family. But I couldn’t let him do-“ Parker cut himself off before he incriminated his brother further.

“He does the children’s exhibits. . . No wonder Lily knew him! I’ve left the kids with him so many times.” Part of you wanted to panic and scream but the feeling felt hollow. There was no point in freaking out beyond not having a lack of trust for people. There was no need for you to worry now.

Because he was dead.

“Where is he? He hasn’t come home, isn’t answering his phone, no show at work- which you know.” Officer Parker pointed at you but you immediately looked away and at John.

You hadn’t put two and two together but John must have. He was smart enough to keep it from you because you would’ve freaked out. And now you had to use your poker face to keep Ghost’s secret safe. You could freak out later.

“Like I said he ran off after he broke in. Think our dog scared him off.” John lied flawlessly again and you shook your head confirming it. Molly wasn’t even home she had gone with the kids to your dads.

“You fucking killed him didn’t you?!” Officer Parker stepped toward John again but you were standing in the middle of them.

“John wasn’t even here.” You butted in.

John pulled you to the side and squared up to Parker. He knew he wouldn’t go through you to get to Parker but didn’t know if Parker had any regard for you. It was incredibly satisfying watching Parker flinch as John’s stepped forward.

“I was out of the country. You can check.” John said condescendingly.

This seemed to stun Officer Parker. Horror was now etched across his face as he turned to you. With his mouth agape and wide eyes you both stared at each other for a long moment. You knew he knew what his brother had planned for you.

“You weren’t- were your kids home?” Looking from John to you in horror the severity of that break in seemed to set in.

“No, thank god! But I was by my fucking self while your psycho ass brother was in my basement office doing god knows what!” You shouted.

“Where is he.” Officer Parker asked calmly this time.

“Why did you get involved in this. What made it serious enough that you showed up at our home?” Stepping forward you put yourself in Officer Parker view but he waved you off.

You were absolutely done with this. The lack of answers was too much. Taking a ragged breath through your nose you reacted on impulse. Cocking your hand back you swung forward with all your strength. You punched this man with all the force you could muster and you swore in that moment you’d never felt so violent before. It occurred to you this was why John had a proclivity for violence; it felt good in the moment. You were so enraged you didn’t feel the pain radiating from your hand but kept your eyes glued on the man as he stumbled back a few steps and gripped his nose that was now leaking blood.

“What the fuck!?” He shouted at you.

“Good on you!” John was practically cheering you on.

“Tell me!” You shouted before slapping the officer once, twice and then trying to claw at him.

John gave you a second and then had his arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you back. He did wait and gave you a few good slaps and kicks before he stopped you. John lifted you off the ground when he realized you weren’t going to stop going after Parker and Parker wasn’t going to fight back.

“He- I found his journal and there were a lot of concerning details. I tried to get him help and when that didn’t work I tried to warn you two. I couldn’t blame it on your neighbor or you’d put your guards down but I also couldn’t turn my own brother in.” Finally the truth came spilling out. There was something about getting beat up by a woman half his size that was more terrifying than almost being drowned.

“Yeah and you’re lucky I’m not dead or I would SO kill you right now!” You all but screamed. You were kicking your feet and wiggling for John to put you down so you could have another go.

“Easy there killer.” John chuckled trying to calm you down like some rabid animal.

“Now, where is he? Did you kill him?” Officer Parker seemed desperate for answers himself.

“I wasn’t here. I don’t know what happened to him. But I hope he got what he deserved.” John nodded in a way you found odd.

Officer Parker stared at him for a long while. Water dripped off of him making the ground beneath him muddy. His left eye was swelling and turning red from John’s punch and his nose was bleeding from yours. The summer breeze picked up and blew strong making the officer shiver. There was a silent understanding that by the way your lives had continued you felt safe. With safety came the fact there was no more threat to you and your family.

“I’m going to find him.” Officer Parker hung his head for a moment before he started to walk toward his car parked in your driveway.

He’d accepted there would be no answers from you two. You weren’t sure why he gave up now after putting up such a fight. But John seemed to understand.

“Stay here.” John spoke to you softly and followed Officer Parker from a distance.

John watched the man climb into his personal car to leave. They shared another long look before Officer Parker’s red rimmed eyes closed for a moment. He nodded his head a few times before giving John once last look. Putting the car into reverse, Officer Parker went to leave your property and swore to himself he would never come back.

“Oi!” John called out which had Officer Parker stopping and looking back in surprise.

John held up a finger for him to wait and then disappeared inside. A minute or two later John appeared out of the side door of the laundry room with something in his hand. Bending down so they were eye level John handed over the journal Parker’s brother left behind.

“We made copies. But you should have it.” It was clear to him why he was doing it but John felt it better to not have that disgusting book in his home anymore. It would ruin any progress you made if you ever stumbled upon it.

“Thanks.” With slight hesitation Parker took it.

The leather bound book felt icy in his fingers and made his stomach twist at the knowledge John had read the depraved thoughts of his brother. The pages held such grotesque entries that made it clear no person would feel comfortable in their home again if who wrote it were still breathing.

“He was sick.” Officer Parker weakly tried to explain.

“Well, he’s not anymore. Cheers.” John stood back to his full height and patted the roof of the car.

——————

“That’s a lie.” Evelyn giggled loudly at her brother calling you out so rudely.

You were all sat down for dinner from your local Chinese food restaurant. Your kids were in their pajamas with how late you were eating. Looking over to John you didn’t know what to say to your son. You were a horrible liar so any attempt to say you weren’t would make you look more guilty.

“Oi, don’t call your mum a liar.” John pointed at his son using his fork. He barley looked up from his plate and continued eating.

“Mum did not break her hand by punching someone trying to steal an old ladies purse. How dumb do you think we are?” Jj looked at his father absolutely exasperated.

After Officer Parker had left John found you in the kitchen with a bag of peas on your hand. You were sobbing uncontrollably and John thought it was from the pain. It only took a few questions for him to figure out how horrible you felt for what happened. That what Ghost had done to protect you meant someone lost their life because of you.

But what made the tears flow endlessly was that you felt no remorse. Things were finally getting back to normal and you would have Ghost do it a hundred times over for this peace of mind; and that had you questioning your morals. It took a lot of soothing and comfort from John to help you accept things.

By the time you cried it all out you told John you most definitely broke your hand from punching Officer Parker in the face. John mentioned that he tried to teach you how to throw a proper punch but you refused to learn. You could throw a mean elbow but that was about it. You told him you were never going to resort to violence again unless him or one of the 141 boys murdered someone else. John tried to convince you again because the odds weren’t in your favor. This had you threatening to punch John and break your other hand if he didn’t swear to never allow that to happen again. It ended in a stale mate and you with a lime green cast, John still didn’t understand why you insisted on that color.

“You’re right.” John nodded and took a sip of his beer.

“It was a bank robbery. Your mum clocked the guy in the face and took his gun. People were cheering at her bravery. They’re thinking about naming her a town hero.” It was said so seriously you had to bite your lip to keep yourself from laughing.

“Banks closed on Sundays.” Evelyn poked a hole in John’s story expertly quick.

“I punched a fox trying to get at the chickens.” You lied with a cheeky smile.

“Mummy you shouldn’t punch foxes, they’re dirty.” Lily told you seriously.

“Oh, cmon! Mum clocked you dad. You finally mouthed off enough and drove her mad.” Jj was laughing to himself by the end of his own made up story.

“No, mum so slipped and fell going to the loo! She’s too embarrassed to admit it so dad’s trying to make her seem all tough.” It was now Evelyn’s turn to come up with a reason.

“Looks like you’ll never know.” John mused.

~~~~~tag list~~~~~

@exhaustedpotat0 @glitterypirateduck @ivymarquis @crazymela @what-0-life @boredfairy4 @hihhasotherfixations @stephanswhxre @shanjisan @k4es @luvleywrites @kita03-0 @midwesternwitchery @aleynaleia @suckerforbassist @misshoneypaper @theaonlax @blackstar9005 @tooterbutt @havoc973 @maladaptivedaydreamingbum @freshlemontea @cosmoscoffeee @sae1kie @ohworm-writes @ghostslittlegf @fanficwriterlover @arminarlertssword @faceache111 @azu21 @thirstyb-ches @nini-11-08 @sgtgarricks @kiki-is-hyperfixating @mayflysdie @aliceinwonderland-5678 @blue096 @rip-cod-brainrot @saturnghost93 @somehopeatlast @thepowers-kat-be @tenko-nii @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction @thraxpatty @mnsnp @faeriedust17 @livstablers @luvr4miya @phoenixhalliwell @maissalov3u @ellerdod @tizzywoowoo @himboelover

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prettiestb4byd0ll · 5 months ago

Text

OMGG I LOVED IT!!! Tysm ettie you wrote this so well!! ♡♡ I love the happy ending!!

Arcanum Amoren

ACTUS SECUNDUS: PART II

Also on AO3

Pairing: Lucius Verus Aurelius x Fem!Reader

WC: 3.5k words

Summary: Part 2 of a request for my beloved mutual @chibipeachu <33 // AU inspired by Romeo and Juliet, where you meet a gladiator on the first night of the Saturnalia, and both of you seem to be immediately struck by Cupid's arrow.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (this fic is 18+), Alternate Universe (no emperor Lucius), deviation from canon, Lucius and Reader are in their 20s, forbidden love, slight power imbalance, fluff, some angst, smut, unprotected p in v, loss of virginity, a little bit of dirty talk, no death at the end, jealousy, alcohol consumption (wine), potentially some historical inaccuracies (SORRY), and I think that's it but lmk if anything else!

You nursed a cup of wine as you stared off into the middle distance, not paying attention to the conversation your father and your suitor, Cassius, were engaged in. The initial introduction had been mercifully brief before the two men began talking politics, but you and Alba had no choice but to politely listen in, not yet dismissed. She seemed much more keen on actually listening to what they were saying, though, subtly nodding along even if she didn’t make any remarks herself.

Cassius was adequately handsome, with dark, kind eyes, sunkissed olive skin, and a mop of dark curls. He was a couple of years older than you, and taller by half a head. He seemed nice enough upon first impression, at the very least, but he hadn’t really tried to ask you anything about yourself. Not that you had expected him to, but it irked you all the same. If he wanted to marry you, shouldn’t he at least attempt to woo you a little bit?

Your mind drifted back to Lucius and his fervent blue eyes, which reminded you of the pale morning sky, the lovely promise of a new day. Those eyes had shown a real interest in you, and not the opportunities you offered, whether you wanted to or not. You didn’t think it had been just lust, either, but it was still too early to tell. Regardless, it was a very rare thing to encounter and you found it to be quite titillating. Then again, most forbidden things were.

You wouldn’t necessarily consider yourself idealistic, but it was hard not to fantasize, especially when the anticipation of your late night rendezvous was eating at you. Never before had you felt time stretching on so infinitely, and you could only hope that it remained that way while you were actually with him.

Lucius, for his part, had stuck to the shadows at the corners of the garden, keeping watch while remaining mostly unseen. Ravi had quickly caught on to his plans and half-heartedly tried to persuade him against it, but Lucius’s resolve was implacable. Especially after spotting you with Cassius, a bitter taste forming at the back of his throat he could not swallow down. His fists clenched and unclenched slowly at his sides.

“Glowering so openly will only invite unwanted attention, my friend,” Ravi said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “The last thing I want to do is bring dishonor to the house of a friend by starting a row, especially during such a holy day.”

Lucius’s jaw clenched, but he nodded once, firmly. “And we will do no such thing, I assure you. Though… I can hardly explain it, Ravi.”

Ravi huffed with amusement, understanding all the same. “I know. We have all been arrested by such beauty at least once in our lives.”

“She goes beyond beauty.”

Ravi looked over at you, trying to see things through Lucius’s eyes. In the time he’d known the fierce gladiator, he had never seen him struck by someone to such a degree. That wasn’t to say he hadn’t succumbed to his baser instincts every now and again with pretty, giggling courtesans, but this was definitely different. He wasn’t sure if he should be more worried because of it, but he was at least sure he would be totally unsuccessful in deterring Lucius. He already knew how stubborn he could be.

Ravi heaved a resigned sigh. “I know that, too.”

Lucius downed his cup of wine in one go and he silently offered to refill it for him, hoping he would stay put until he came back.

All that time, you’d felt a heavy gaze on you, but you hadn’t allowed yourself to look around for him. There was too much at risk to be that foolish, even if you were burning to meet his gaze once more. Without you realizing it, the smallest of smiles tugged at your lips at the thought of your brief conversation by the portraits.

But then Alba subtly elbowed your side, bringing you back to the present. You blinked, startled, and realized Cassius, your father, and Alba were looking at you expectantly.

“I’m sorry?” You said, figuring Cassius must have asked you something.

He chuckled, perhaps confusing your absentmindedness for meek pining. You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes.

“I asked if you knew how to play any instruments?” He said, his smile patient. “I’ve always been fond of music.”

“Um, the harp, a little bit. I don’t consider myself to be a very proficient player, really…”

“Oh, don’t be so modest, daughter. You play beautifully,” your father cut in, pride in his voice. “And you have a lovely singing voice, too.”

Your face heated up from embarrassment, but you didn’t exactly want to contradict your father. Cassius raised his eyebrows, both faintly impressed and intrigued.

“Perhaps you will honor me with a demonstration some time,” he said.

“But of course,” you said automatically, bowing your head.

Cassius and your father smiled, well pleased. Alba clocked your discomfort in the tense set of your shoulders and subtly took your hand, squeezing your fingers reassuringly.

“Uncle, it is getting rather late. Perhaps my cousin and I may retire to our chambers for the evening?” She said, making a show of yawning behind her hand. “I would hate for us to collapse from exhaustion right in front of you.”

“Why, yes, of course. There’ll be plenty more time for us to chat in the coming days,” he said, kissing your forehead and then hers. “Get some rest so you’ll look just as lovely in the morning. Nobody likes a haggard looking woman, isn’t that right, Cassius?”

He laughed, setting your teeth on edge. “Rightly so.”

Mentally, you punched him right on the nose, but in reality you stood rigid, your plastered smile more a baring of teeth. Cassius took your hand and kissed your knuckles, but the gesture felt nothing like when Lucius did it. You wanted to recoil as if burnt.

“I’ll be seeing you very soon,” he said, and you suppressed a shiver not of anticipation, but of dread.

—------------------

You tossed and turned for what seemed like a restless eternity, waiting for all the noise outside to dwindle and eventually die down completely. You kept one candle burning on your bedside table, but otherwise, you were plunged in darkness. Every so often, you anxiously glanced towards the balcony, where you’d left the door ajar. Only the breeze slipped in for the longest time, until…

A darker shadow hovered in the threshold for a moment, as if making sure he was in the right place. You sat up in bed, heart rate immediately kicking up. You thought you recognized his broad shoulders and easy gait, but you scarcely dared to believe he was real, that this was actually happening.

“Is it really you?” You whispered, clutching the covers against your chest.

His shoulders slumped with equal relief and you could swear you heard him breathe out a soft laugh.

“Yes, my lady, it’s me…” he whispered. “May I?”

“Yes, please.”

Slowly, he approached, and finally his face was faintly illuminated by the candlelight. He stood there, unmoving, though his eyes roamed, snatching on your trembling lips and the hollow of your throat. You let the covers fall from your grip, clothed in only a thin sleep tunic where he could see the pert outline of your breasts. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then briefly looked away, mentally chastising himself for being improper.

“What is it?” you asked.

His eyes flicked back to your face. “I just… wanted to look at you.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed, facing you. He offered his hand and you took it, looking down at your laced fingers. With his free hand, he caressed your cheek before grasping your chin, making you meet his gaze.

“You’re beautiful,” he said.

You smiled lopsidedly, still feeling a flush of warmth at his compliments. “So you’ve said…”

He chuckled softly, realizing he was making a fool of himself. “It bears repeating.”

You scooted closer to him, suddenly feeling like any distance between you was too great. Perhaps it was the urgency of limited time, or the culmination of all your anticipation. Whatever it was, your body seemed to bow towards him out of its own volition, filled with longing.

Your eyes darted to his lips, slowly reaching up to brush them gently with the tips of your fingers. “Will you kiss me?”

He nodded, kissing your fingers before your hand moved to cup his face. He leaned in, hot breath fanning over your cupid’s bow. His lips brushed against yours softly, your eyes slipping closed in bliss. The tip of your tongue touched his upper lip enticingly and he shuddered, clutching you against him.

His lips melded against yours, tongue slipping into your mouth. You whimpered wantonly, tightly holding onto his tunic with your free hand. What you really wanted was to feel his warm skin against yours, every hard plane of his muscles deliciously contrasting your softness.

Venus herself must’ve heard your silent pleas, for you felt your shift sliding off one of your shoulders. You pulled back for air, both of you panting, pupils blown wide. Holding his gaze, you slowly pulled the top half of your shift down to your waist.

His breath caught in his throat as he took you in, unsure what to do with his hands. Your chest heaved under his appraisal, fire slowly blooming outward from within you. You reached out for his hand, bringing it to your sternum so he could feel how quickly your heart was beating.

“Touch me,” you said. “However you’d like to do it, just keep touching me.”

Every instinct screamed at him to give in to your wishes, but he hesitated, looking back up at your face.

“Are you sure?” he asked, swallowing hard and bracing himself for whatever your answer might be. “I’m aware of your… courtship.”

You clutched his arm and shook your head desperately, as if you could cast the thought away so simply.

“I’m not his. I could never be his,” you breathed. “I want to be yours.”

There was a sound low in his throat at that, and he dove forward to claim your mouth once more. His fingers danced over your ribcage before slowly trailing up towards your breasts. His mouth moved to your jaw and the slope of your throat, pulling more soft sounds from you. As your collective desperation increased, you slid back and pulled him over you, his body slotting between your legs.

He left open mouth kisses over your clavicles and the ladder of your sternum, but when his tongue dragged over to one of your sensitive nipples, you arched against him. Every part of your body felt hyper aware of him, nerve endings tingling even at the fan of his breath on your skin.

He took his time lavishing your chest, one of his hands roaming lower and lower until it was slipping under your shift. Your legs jerked as he made contact with your inner thigh, your breath hitching. He grinned at you, well pleased that you were responding so keenly to him.

“Have you ever touched yourself here, my lady?” he asked, his lips hovering over yours once more. “Did you imagine a ravagement such as this?”

You shook your head deliriously, trying to kiss him, but he kept himself teasingly out of reach. His fingers moved closer to your center, teasing the junction where it met your thigh. You could feel your heartbeat beating right at your core, intensely warm.

“No? Well… I suppose the real thing is always better, isn’t it?”

With that, his middle finger parted your folds, his brows furrowing wantonly as he realized just how slick you were already. He dragged his finger up, making contact with that bundle of nerves that nearly made you cry out. Was it supposed to feel that intense? It was like a whole new world was opening up for you.

“My, my… There’s my answer,” he said, finally kissing you once more.

You moaned into his mouth as he continued his slow, exploratory ministrations. You bucked against his palm, instinctively searching for more friction. But he was determined to keep an easy pace, wanting to prolong your pleasure as long as he could. He circled your clit maddeningly, drawing out more honey from you, and earning a scratch on his shoulder.

His middle finger teased the entrance of your cunt, pushing inside a little bit, probing. You trembled against him, nodding for him to go on.

“Please, Lucius,” you panted. “Please.”

Painstakingly slow, his finger plunged into you, making you momentarily tense. As he began to move it a little, you felt it curl inside of you, touching another spot you’d also been unaware of. Soon a second finger joined the first, and he fucked you with them at that same maddening pace, opening you up for him. His thumb slotted against your clit for an added layer, and after just a few swipes, you found yourself tumbling headfirst into oblivion.

You felt like one of those mountains of fire during eruption, ripples of heat spreading through you. Your eyes closed and your mouth fell open as your muscles seized, your walls contracting against his finger with every pulse of ecstasy. Lucius moaned throatily as he helped you ride it all the way through, a possessive feeling surging within him.

He was painfully hard, his cock pulsing with need, but he wouldn’t go further if you didn’t wish to. He was content to make it all about you and would take the memory with him to please himself later.

But when you looked at him, starry-eyed and smiling beatifically as you parted your legs even more, he knew it would not be the case. You sat up to help him take his tunic off, mesmerized by the length and girth of him as it was revealed to you. In the dim candlelight, you could see the tip of it glistening with his own arousal.

“Last chance to go back,” he murmured, his hand wrapping around himself.

“Never,” you said without hesitation. “Make me yours, and only yours. I beg you.”

How could he ever deny such sweet words? If that was what you wanted, then he’d happily comply.

You wiggled out of your shift and laid back down, arms extended toward him to pull him in. He happily gave in, your knees drawing up to press against his hips. With one hand, he swiped the head of his cock through your folds, coating it in your slick. Still sensitive from your orgasm, you jerked against him, thighs pressing tighter against his sides.

“This might hurt a little, but I’ll be careful,” he promised, taking your hand to kiss it. “Tell me if you want to stop.”

Though you nodded, you already knew you would be doing no such thing. You felt him line up with your entrance, the head pushing in slightly. It was more of a stretch than his fingers, so you inhaled sharply through your teeth at the slight sting. He paused only to assess your reactions, but then he kept pushing in little by little.

Once he was in to the hilt, he lowered himself so his chest was against yours, his face burying in your neck. He didn’t move at first, letting you get used to the full length of him throbbing inside you. Then he felt you squirming against him, his beard tickling your neck as he kissed it. His hips began to move, barely drawing back before plunging in once again, making you keenly aware of every single inch.

You sighed his name, fingers digging into his soft curls to tug his head so he’d meet your lips. Your tongues tangled sloppily as his thrusts gradually grew in intensity, hips snapping against yours. It was a struggle to keep quiet, especially as he hit spots deep inside you that had your head spinning. He followed every soft plea to go harder, deeper, your desperate mewls spurring him on.

Lucius felt his own pleasure mounting, the muscles of his abdomen bunching. Your warmth and the tight clutch of your cunt had his sack tightening, becoming increasingly harder to keep his orgasm at bay. But he wanted you to come together, this time, meld your bodies for good.

He snaked a hand between your bodies and found your clit once more, rubbing it in frantic circles. You muffled your hitching moans against his shoulder, pressing your face against it. Your cunt clamped down on him as you felt yourself slipping under once more, pulling him along with you. He buried himself to the hilt just as his release began to spill, an animalistic groan escaping his throat with each spurt coating your insides. Now you were well and truly his, and he wouldn’t let anyone take you from him.

The two of you clutched each other tightly as if to anchor yourselves in reality. Gradually, you drifted back to the present and he pulled back to look at you, brushing hair away from your face. You smiled as if drunk, your cheeks flushed brightly. He peppered your face with kisses, not wanting to ever pull away from you.

But outside, birds were just beginning their dawn chorus, reminding you of all the dangers daylight would bring. At most, you had a few more minutes of peace.

“Take me with you,” you said, giving him pause. “Not today but… Someday.”

“Where?”

“Somewhere far away, where no one will know who we are, or what is expected of us.”

He searched your features for any hint of doubt. “Is that what you really want?”

You nodded. “I cannot stay here. I can’t. They’ll hand me over to him as soon as it’s convenient.”

“We won’t let that happen.” He grasped your hand tightly, a look of determination on his face. “I don’t know how, but I promise you I will do what I can to get you out of here.”

“Let it be soon, please,” you said. “Nights aren’t nearly long enough to be at your side.”

“We still have a few days of the Saturnalia, my love,” he said, trying to soothe your anxiety. “Perhaps I may be able to visit you like this so we may… do some planning.”

You chuckled at the insinuation in his tone, rolling your eyes playfully. “How much planning can actually be done with no clothes on?”

“Oh, believe me, I’m at my most effective then.” He grinned mischievously. “I’ll just have to prove it to you.”

————————-

The day of your wedding came, but you were not present for it. In fact, you were leagues away from the Ostia Antica, surrounded by the glittering Tyrrhenian sea. Seagulls circled overhead, squawking among themselves. The salty breeze pushed your hood off your head and tousled your hair. Your eyes were fixed on the horizon, wondering when you would see land next.

Lucius reached over to pull your hood back on and you turned to smile at him. You were aboard a merchant ship, granted safe passage after paying off the captain with what was meant to be your dowry. The ship was headed to Greece, but you weren’t sure if that would be your final destination.

It was both exhilarating and frightening not knowing what would come next in your life. But for the first time, it would all be up to you, with only the Gods to intervene. That couldn’t be helped. So far, though, Fortuna had tipped her scale in your favor, and you had to have trust it would carry you safely to wherever you’d end up.

And with Lucius at your side, nothing really seemed impossible, anyway. You had managed to run away, after all. Though it was sad to leave certain aspects of your life behind, like your family, you kept your gaze ahead. Everything ahead of you, nothing behind you. That was the way of things.

“What are you thinking about?” Lucius prompted, secretly hoping you weren’t having any second thoughts.

You sidled up against him, sighing contentedly. “How grateful I am that fortune sometimes favors fools in love.”

He chuckled, relieved. “So you are saying we are fools?”

“Oh, we are. We really are.” You laughed, kissing his cheek. “But I like that about us.”

He hummed as if considering your words. “Foolish enough to sneak into the captain’s quarters for a moment alone? After all, we’re yet to celebrate the beginning of our new lives…”

Your smile had a mischievous curl to it. “Why, yes, we are. Though not foolish enough to get ourselves caught, I hope.”

His arm wrapped around your waist to pull you even closer. “Hmm, we’ll see about that once I get my hands on you.”

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FINIS.

#lucius verus x reader #lucius verus x you #lucius verus smut

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prettiestb4byd0ll · 6 months ago

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Ahhh I love smm tysm ettie my love for writing this!!! Its sooo good!!

Arcanum Amorem

ACTUS PRIMUS: PART I

Also on AO3

Pairing: Lucius Verus Aurelius x Fem!Reader

WC: 3.2k words

Summary: A request for my beloved mutual @chibipeachu <33 // AU inspired by Romeo and Juliet, where you meet a gladiator on the first night of the Saturnalia, and both of you seem to be immediately struck by Cupid's arrow.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (this fic is 18+), Alternate Universe (no emperor Lucius), deviation from canon, Lucius and Reader are in their 20s, forbidden love, slight power imbalance, fluff, some angst, eventual smut, potentially some depictions of violence, no death at the end, jealousy, alcohol consumption (wine), potentially some historical inaccuracies (SORRY), and I think that's it but lmk if anything else!

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Favorable match… Political allies… One more year…

Your name was whispered behind you, but you quickly shushed them without bothering to see who it was. Your ear was pressed against the door to your father’s tablinum, trying to listen in on his conversation with a young suitor who had come to ask for your hand. It was already hard enough to hear anything over the harsh pounding of your heart and you didn’t need any more distractions.

But your name was insistently hissed again, much closer to your other ear, and you glared over your shoulder at the culprit — your cousin, Alba. Before you could say anything, though, there was shuffling inside the room, and the two of you quickly scurried down the hall to hide in Alba’s bedroom. Unconsciously, you took her hand and squeezed her fingers anxiously.

You heard the tablinum’s door open, followed by loud male voices trailing towards the atrium. You peered into the hallway and saw your father clapping the suitor’s shoulder, both laughing boisterously. Their backs were to you, so you couldn’t see more than his profile, and you wondered if he even knew what you looked like. Not like it really mattered anyway, as marriage was usually about forming ties with other powerful families. Perhaps his ambition was the only thing he cared about, and you loathed him all the more for it.

Alba misinterpreted the scowl on your face, huffing with amusement.

“Are you so eager to see who wants to court you?” She said, a teasing edge to her tone. “You’ll meet him soon enough at your father’s party. The Saturnalia would be an auspicious time for an engagement, don’t you think?”

“It’s not that!” You scoffed, making the sign of the evil eye and crossing your arms over your chest. “I actually would much prefer not to meet him at all.”

She raised an eyebrow, bewildered but still amused. “And why is that?”

“Because I don’t want to be married off to a complete stranger. Is that so unreasonable?”

She rolled her eyes, waving you off. “We’ve all gotten nervous about marriage at one point. I am sure your father would not accept an offer from someone who wasn’t kind, at least.”

You shrugged one shoulder, unsure. “Unless he had the right name.”

“Come now, let’s not be too pessimistic, dear cousin! Married life isn’t all that terrible, I promise,” she said. “And nothing is set in stone yet, but you have to realize that even if it isn’t him, it’ll be someone else.”

Her tone was meant to be placating, but to you, it seemed more like the kind one used when addressing a petulant child, which irritated you even more.

“Well, it’s easy for you to say. Quintus is almost always on campaign, so you don’t have to deal with him all that much.”

“Though I deal with our boys, who happen to be just like him,” she pointed out with a sigh, though a fond smile tugged at her lips. “Quintus is kind, if absent, but we live comfortably and I have to be grateful for that.”

You sighed heavily, knowing you wouldn’t get anywhere in this conversation. Alba meant well, but she was quite content to do what was asked of her without a second thought. Everything was as the Gods willed it, she always said. Why spit in the face of the Gods by asking for more when she already had everything she needed?

You had always known your fate would be marriage, but you had foolishly held out hope that you would have a choice in the matter. Still, every one of your senses rebelled at the mere thought of anything else. At least Alba was right in that nothing was set in stone yet, so you still had time to come up with an alternative… and perhaps come to terms with whatever consequences would come out of it.

“Come, you must be starving,” she said, her tone conciliating, sliding an arm over your shoulders. “Let us get some dinner and speak of other things, alright?”

You hesitated, but your stubborn resolve fell away at the hopeful, earnest look on her face. Despite your differences, you loved each other, and you knew she only wanted the best for you. You could at least get some solace from that. You gave her a tentative smile and nodded, letting her squeeze you against her.

“Lead the way, then.”

—----------------------

Lucius had no expectations about the party he was being dragged to. Because it was the Saturnalia, he was not expected to fight for the guests’ entertainment, which was a relief, but it would certainly feel strange to be a guest of sorts. He still wasn’t sure how Ravi knew the host – a respected politician who had been elected Aedile that past July – or how he managed to convince him to let a gladiator join the celebrations. But then again, it was the only holiday where all the social norms were overturned, and so he didn’t question it too much.

The guards posted at the front gate nodded at Ravi in recognition, letting them both in. Music and a cacophony of voices greeted them as they passed by the atrium, growing louder as Ravi led him through the house towards the gardens. Carafes of wine, platters of fruit, and other refreshments were passed around for everyone to indulge, but Lucius was too preoccupied with taking in the scene.

There were a few panel portraits of the family on the walls by the main hall, but he couldn’t get a good look at any of them. Wealth was spelled out in the form of intricate mosaics and large frescoes, but there was nothing pretentious enough to be in bad taste. The dining room faced the garden and was open on two sides, letting the evening air circulate, bringing about the smell of roses. By the central pool, musicians played in earnest, the melody playful and uplifting. A few people danced, but others were content to clap and sing along. The atmosphere was relaxed and full of merriment, and Lucius found himself getting a little infected by all of it.

“Not bad, right?” Ravi said, noticing the look on his face.

“Certainly better than the barracks,” Lucius said with a small shrug, trying to appear nonchalant.

Ravi chuckled, searching for a familiar face among the crowd. Lucius caught the eye of a pair of ladies and smiled at them politely, nodding in acknowledgment. The two of them giggled flirtatiously and whispered to each other, but he looked away so he wouldn’t encourage them to approach.

“There he is,” Ravi said, pointing to the other side of the garden. “Come, we should greet our host.”

As he was dragged off again, you finally emerged from your room, unable to stall any longer. Nerves and dread had you on edge, unpleasantly settling in the pit of your stomach. You served yourself a cup of wine from a nearby table and downed it for courage, putting on what you hoped was a normal-looking smile as you headed outside. A few guests stopped to greet you, exchanging a few pleasantries, but you were too distracted to engage too deeply in conversation.

You saw Alba ushering her two young sons back inside, both of them grievously protesting their bedtime. She shared a conspiratorial look with you as she passed, rolling her eyes, and you snickered, inclining your head to let her know you’d wait for her to return. In the meantime, you watched the musicians for a moment, merely enjoying the lively folk song they were playing.

Across the garden, still unnoticed by you, Ravi was introducing Lucius to your father. He looked over Lucius’s armor – which happened to be his best garment for the occasion – lingering on the twin rearing horses and the griffins just beneath, the steel glinting in the firelight.

“I recognize you,” your father said to Lucius. “Did I not just see you at the games the other day? Set against that Barbary lion?”

Lucius nodded and your father raised his eyebrows, impressed. “Few have faced such a mighty beast and lived to tell the tale. You are quite the fierce fighter.”

“You honor me with your words. I thank you,” Lucius said, placing a hand on his breastplate, right above his heart.

Your father looked around and spotted you across the central pool, still standing by yourself. Lucius followed his gaze and immediately straightened upon seeing you. You were swathed in rich purple fabric, adorned by garlands of flowers and dainty gold jewelry – like an Oread descended from the hills to grace the mortals with her radiant, unearthly beauty. Your eyes were closed in reverie as you swayed slightly to the music, a serene smile on your face.

It was as if he had been struck by a divine beam, anchoring him in place. The rest of the party seemed to fall away, and even sound couldn’t reach him. He opened his mouth to say something, but he was unable to grasp the right words. Your father glanced back and saw the expression on his face, realization sinking in like a heavy stone. Some of his geniality disappeared, a cool politeness taking over. Ravi elbowed Lucius to get his attention and he cleared his throat, blinking the daze out of his eyes.

“You’ll have to excuse me, I must go speak to my daughter. It was a pleasure to see you, my friend.” Your father clapped Ravi’s shoulder, then turned his hardened gaze on Lucius. “And a pleasure to meet you, as well. Let us hope the Gods continue to favor you in the arena.”

Both Ravi and Lucius dipped their heads in a small, polite bow. Just as he started walking towards you, you finally spotted them. For a moment, your eyes met those of the handsome gladiator, shock at his presence just barely registering before intrigue set in. The intensity with which he looked at you, with the unwavering focus of a hunter, sent a shiver down your spine. For once, the urge to flee was accompanied by the faint wish he might give chase. You frowned slightly in confusion at your own thoughts, but you did not move, only averting your gaze when your father reached you.

“Hello, little starling,” he said fondly, kissing your temple. “How generous of you to finally grace us with your presence.”

You grinned lopsidedly, rolling your eyes at him without any real annoyance. “Who was it you were just talking to?”

“An old friend, from my time in the army,” he said, studiously avoiding talking about Lucius. “You know, daughter, there is someone I would like you to meet tonight.”

“Oh?” you said, trying to sound casual despite the icy dread spreading in your chest.

“Yes, the son of a good friend of mine who’s in the senate, Cassius. He is just getting started in politics, but he shows a lot of promise. Smart young man.”

You nodded, swallowing hard. “I-is he here already?”

“I don’t believe so, but why don’t I find you when he is? Here comes your cousin,” he said, smiling at her. “How goes it, dear Alba? You finally put those two rapscallions down?”

She nodded, huffing out a tired laugh. “A most arduous task… if it weren’t for my cousin here, I would have surely gone to bed myself.”

You snuck a glance at the other side of the garden once more, realizing the gladiator no longer stood there. Had he already left? You looped your arm through Alba’s, trying not to seem too keen to go looking for him.

“Walk with me, perhaps it’ll help you stay awake,” you said.

“Just stay out of trouble, you two,” your father said, seemingly joking, but there was an undercurrent of sternness you did not miss. “And don’t stray too far.”

You tugged Alba away as your father turned to greet more guests. You walked with urgency without realizing it, practically dragging her along. You scanned the faces of those around you, but you had no luck finding him yet.

“Slow down!” Alba exclaimed. “Where are you taking me?”

You snapped out of whatever frantic daze had gripped you. “N-nowhere, cousin. I suppose I am just… anxious.”

She wagged her eyebrows suggestively, but you scoffed, shaking your head. You grabbed another cup of wine from a nearby tray and drank, then handed it to her so she’d finish it off. You forced yourself to slow down, your disappointment growing as you did a full lap of the garden without even a glimpse of the gladiator. Alba was chattering off about some new gossip, but you weren’t really listening, absently nodding along.

What was once mildly pleasant about the party suddenly became overstimulating and oppressive. Your breathing became shallow with anxiety and your mind scrambled for an excuse to get away from everyone for a few minutes.

“Oh, I forgot to show you the lovely new brooch my mother got me,” you said, feigning excitement as you tried to swallow past the knot in your throat. “Let me go fetch it! I’ll be right back.”

“Are you sure? We could wait until tomorrow,” she said, frowning with confusion as you disentangled from her.

“No, no, I couldn’t possibly wait to show you! You’ll absolutely love it. Just wait here!”

Without giving her time to respond, you slipped through the crowd, hurrying past the dining room. As soon as all the sound dimmed into the background, you heaved a sigh of relief, shoulders slumping. The light in the corridor was dimmer, the shadows offering more cover for you to sneak about. As you headed towards your bedroom, you spotted someone standing by the main hall, gazing at the portraits. You did a double take and recognized his armor first, your heart racing once again. You’d finally found him!

You glanced around to make sure there were no more stragglers. It was a great risk to you and your family’s honor to be there with him unaccompanied, but curiosity overrode your senses. It was as if you’d been bewitched, approaching him slowly, like a somnambulist. You stopped an appropriate distance away, not brave enough to get too close to him.

“Hello,” you said tentatively, your voice slightly tremulous.

He looked over at you, momentarily taken aback at seeing you in the flesh. You glanced at the wall, noticing it was your portrait he’d been looking at. Your cheeks were instantly aflame, a thrill dancing under your skin. He huffed with self-reproaching amusement, shaking his head, and looked away as if ashamed he’d been caught doing something he was not supposed to.

“It does not compare in the slightest,” he said after a moment, his voice soft.

You tilted your head curiously. “What do you mean?”

“The portrait,” he explained, glancing at you sidelong. “It does no justice to your present beauty.”

Your face grew even hotter at that, and you smiled bashfully. “You are much too kind. What is your name?”

“Lucius,” he said. “Though I am not commonly known by that name. Can you keep the secret?”

You nodded, placing a hand over your heart so he’d see you meant it. You smiled at each other before looking away once more, and you inched a little closer. He was even more attractive up close, but you restrained yourself from studying every detail of his face. The few times you’d attended games at the arena, you’d been forced to sit all the way at the back with the rest of the women. You’d recognized the fighter’s grace in the way he carried himself, standing with his shoulders squared and his head high. But you’d never been anywhere near talking distance to a gladiator, much less as the subject of their attention. That was another thrill in itself, which only made his allure greater.

“How do you know my father?” You asked.

“I don’t,” he said. “We have a mutual friend, that is all. He was merely gracious enough to let me into his house.”

“Well, I, for one, am very glad he did,” you said. “Though that is not to say I was not surprised to see you.”

He hummed thoughtfully, glancing down the hall. “I do not presume he knows where you are right now?”

You shook your head. “Oh, I would not be standing here if he did. He can be quite overprotective, as you can imagine. So… I guess we will both be keeping secrets tonight.”

You shared a conspiratorial smile and he turned to face you with renewed interest. His blue eyes roamed over you to further take you in, but you looked away, feeling all too exposed under his rapt attention.

“Well, I cannot say I blame him, with such a precious jewel at home.”

From the corner of your eye, you noticed he inched a little closer, too. You pursed your lips, beyond pleased, but you wouldn’t give in so easily to pretty words.

“Does flattery always come so easily to you?” You asked, teasing, as you turned to face him, too.

He chuckled, taking another small step closer. “Not before tonight.”

You hummed noncommittally, narrowing your eyes as if you didn’t believe him.

“I wonder how many fair Roman ladies have heard the same…” You mused. “Perhaps I’ll have to put you to the test, to see if you really mean what you say.”

He laughed, unoffended, the sound hearty and genuine. “You spell trouble, my lady.”

You batted your lashes to appear innocent. “Me? I have done nothing!”

He raised his eyebrows. “Yet.”

Suddenly, you heard your name being called from the other side of the house. It was Alba again, and her voice was growing closer. You swore under your breath, glancing over your shoulder to make sure she wasn’t in sight yet.

“I must go,” you said hastily, trying not to seem too distressed. “Forgive me, I-I really thought we would have more time to talk.”

“I will find you before the night ends,” he said resolutely, taking your hands. “I won’t be leaving just yet.”

“My bedroom faces a balcony,” you said, lowering your voice. “Wait until everyone has gone to sleep, when the night is darkest, and I’ll meet you there. Be careful.”

He nodded, bringing your hands to his lips and kissing your knuckles, all while holding your gaze. You painstakingly pulled away, casting one last glance at him before dashing to the west wing of the house, where your room was.

You dug through your jewelry box and picked out a fine bronze brooch, straightening just as Alba reached the doorway. Your heart was hammering in your chest like a hare’s being pursued by hunters, but you tried to smile casually.

“What happened, cousin? I told you it would be too much trouble to look for it tonight,” she said, though she seemed more excited than irritated. “Your father sent me to look for you. Cassius is here!”

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prettiestb4byd0ll · 6 months ago

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“you’re so clingy”

thank you everybody ive ever met has abandoned me

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prettiestb4byd0ll · 6 months ago

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he's a monstrous heartless villain to YOU. he's a pinup girl to me

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prettiestb4byd0ll · 7 months ago

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prettiestb4byd0ll · 7 months ago

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Gladiator II: this a manly movie for MEN

Has: pedro pascal playing a general daddy, paul mescal in barely any clothes, joseph quinn in three different kinds of eyeliner, fred hechinger playing a sick baby with a pet monkey

Do you even KNOW women lol like at all

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prettiestb4byd0ll · 7 months ago

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nothing, and i mean NOTHING, compares to joining a new fandom and reading through all the ____ x reader tags. it’s akin to opening gifts on christmas or recieving a package in the mail. actually, scratch that; it’s th equivalent of ascending to the heavens

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prettiestb4byd0ll · 7 months ago

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Oh to be loved by lucius ♡♡

Imperator

Also on AO3

Pairing: Lucius Verus Aurelius x Fem!Reader

WC: 6.7k words

Summary: Once, you only had the memory of the curious barbarian poet, entertaining guests at a party with both violence and verse. But it's not until you see him again, now as emperor, that you get to know the man underneath the titles.

Warnings: Minors DNI this fic is 18+, power imbalance (emperor/servant to freedwoman), mutual pining, slow-ish burn, sort of forbidden love?, lots and lots of fluff good lord, some jealousy, some angst, lovey dovey smut, unprotected p in v, oral (f receiving), maybe some historical inaccuracies lol (I care a lot okay), and iii think that's it but lmk if anything else!

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"Love will enter cloaked in friendship's name."

– Ovid.

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“The gates of hell are open night and day. Smooth the descent, and easy is the way. But to return, and view the cheerful skies, In this the task and mighty labor lies.”

That was the first time you had ever heard him speak, the deep timbre of his voice riddled with contempt. Moments before, he had killed another gladiator, his blood spattered on him like a gruesome adornment. But there was no savagery in his fierce eyes, no mere bloodthirst in the sneer directed at Emperor Geta, your Dominus. His glare was even, like a cold, blue flame that promised not just violence, but retribution as well.

You’d recognized the poem immediately, just as taken aback as everyone else. Nobody moved, the room’s collective breath held in anticipation of the inevitable repercussions of such an offense. Emperor Geta made the slightest move to raise his sword and you gripped the decanter of wine tighter, but your face remained impassive.

“Virgil,” supplied Macrinus, trying to placate him with a broad smile. “He was taught poetry just to amuse you, Imperators.”

There was another momentary pause in which neither twin was sure if they should believe him. But then, Caracalla snorted, standing up to clap the taller man’s shoulder.

“A poet,” He said, laughing. “That’s genius, Macrinus.”

“Yes, certainly very amusing,” Geta said begrudgingly, his jaw clenched.

He and the gladiator had not stopped staring at each other for one moment, like two vipers poised to strike.

“Good, I thought you’d like that,” Macrinus said, approaching his fighter to grasp his shoulder, perhaps in warning. “We live to serve you both.”

“Well, I look forward to seeing your poet at the upcoming games in the Colosseum,” he spits out, throwing the sword aside with a loud clatter. “Let’s see how his verses work for him then.”

Macrinus nodded at his steward to take the gladiator away. He was smiling, seemingly amused, as the steward approached him. As he was being shoved back to the atrium, his eyes took one last baleful look around the room. For the briefest second, you thought his eyes met yours, striking you like a piercing arrow, but then he was gone.

You had no time to dwell on it though, as Emperor Geta returned to his seat and raised his glass to be refilled. But that didn’t mean you would forget so easily, even if your paths might never cross again. All you could do was offer a prayer to the Gods for him.

—--------------------------

The next time you saw him, he was no longer a barbarian gladiator hailed from a distant land, but the new – and rightful – Emperor of Rome. His name was not Hanno, but Lucius Verus Aurelius, and he was the son of the recently passed Queen Lucilla, whom Rome still mourned.

He was not cruel like the twins had been, rarely raising his voice, much less his hand. His demeanor was usually calm, but sometimes he stalked the halls restlessly, as if unsure what he should be doing. He still rose with the sun and trained for a couple of hours in the morning, already used to the routine he’d had as a gladiator, but after that, it was all politics. Endless scrolls of parchment to pore over, meetings to hold with the senate, and lending a patient ear to the populace’s needs. The weight of an empire was on his shoulders, and yet he didn’t bow under it.

During the day, you served his wine and silently hovered around for anything else he might need. At night, you drew his baths, kept his torches lit, and prepared his bed. You would have helped him disrobe too, already used to it from your days of serving Geta, but he chose to do so himself. He was not quite used to his every need being attended to, self-sufficiency deeply ingrained in his being. Mostly, he waved away other servants, leaving you instead to care for him personally.

There were times when you caught him looking at you as if you seemed vaguely familiar, a furrow in his brow when he couldn’t place you. You couldn’t fault him for not remembering you from Senator Thraex’s party, but there was a certain thrill at having piqued his curiosity regardless. Still, you kept your head down and offered no hints, as was your place.

Until one night, while he watched you add aromatic oils and test the bath’s temperature, he finally asked the question that had been on his mind for days.

“What is your name?”

You were startled at first, not having expected him to address you at all. You told him your given Roman name, Domicia, and bowed your head respectfully. He pushed himself off the doorway and stepped into the bathroom, humming thoughtfully.

“Of the home,” he said, referring to the name’s meaning. “Are you Roman? Is that your real name?”

You shook your head in answer to both questions. “I have been in Rome for many years now, though.”

“I have not,” he said, a note of melancholy in his voice. “Yet I grew up here, in these very halls…”

He trailed off, looking around absently, lost in his memories. You could not begin to imagine what he had been through, what he had seen. You had heard of his being sent away as a child, with absolutely no choice in the matter, and could empathize with him.

All you had ever known was a humble life in your native country, until you were stripped of your freedom and brought to the capital of Rome. Neither place felt like home, just the past and the present, and perhaps he was viewing things the same way. You could imagine, even understand, the bittersweetness of returning to a place one thought they might never see again.

“We are honored and grateful to have you back, Dominus,” you said. “I hope things have been to your satisfaction.”

“I have no complaints,” he said, yet he sighed. “Though becoming accustomed to being here, in my current position, is going to take some more time.”

“If there is anything I can do to make it easier for you, please let me know.”

He inclined his head gratefully, your eyes meeting for a moment. “Thank you, Domicia.”

He had the barest of smiles on his handsome face, but you could tell it was genuine. You felt one corner of your lips tugging upwards, but you looked away out of propriety. Even if you were in the same room, you were leagues apart, and it would do you no good to try to imagine otherwise.

You stood up, grabbing the decanter from a nearby table to have it refilled. “Your bath is ready now. Would you like refreshments other than wine?”

He nodded and you bowed, making your way out. By the time you returned with more wine and a platter of olives, bread, and cheese, he was already in the bathtub, leaning back with his eyes closed. Your feet padded softly on the mosaic floor to avoid disturbing him, and you left his refreshments on the table near the tub.

You settled at one side of the room just in case he might need anything, staring off into the middle distance and letting your mind drift. He glanced at you sidelong, his curiosity having only grown after your brief conversation. He still had that nagging feeling that he had seen you somewhere before, but he didn’t want to ask outright.

You felt his gaze on you but pretended not to, keeping your eyes averted. You thought again of the poem he’d recited, how different his demeanor had been then. You wondered what other verses he’d been taught, and if you might ever hear him recite anything again. He had a voice for poetry, somehow turning the words into a sort of enchantment, keeping one entranced.

“Doesn’t it feel… strange sometimes?” he said suddenly, staring up at the ceiling. “When things settle and you realize how far you have come? How much you’ve had to sacrifice for it?”

You hummed in agreement, waiting for him to say more.

“Sometimes, I even wonder if it was all worth it.”

Still lost in a haze of verses, you spoke before you could even think it through.

“Fortunate is he whose mind has the power to probe the causes of things and trample underfoot all terrors and inexorable fate.”

He sat up, surprised. “You know Virgil.” Recognition finally dawned on him. “You were at that party, weren’t you?”

You nodded. “Your words then were just as sharp as your blade.”

He huffed, leaning against the edge of the tub as he remembered his barely contained hatred. “Were you taught poetry to amuse, as well?”

“No, I used to read it with my mother when I was younger.”

“Who else have you read?”

“Ovid, Sappho, Horace…” You became a little flustered as he raised his eyebrows. “My mother was a bit of a romantic.”

“And you?”

It was your turn to huff with amusement, looking down at your hands. “I don’t believe I inherited that trait, no.”

The truth was that in a place such as Rome, love was quite hard to come by. You didn’t actively search for it, its ephemeral nature making you less inclined to, but you were no complete stranger to it. You’d never let it take root, though, for it was not something you could afford to have.

“What about you, Dominus?”

“Me?” he said. “I suppose… I’m not entirely sure anymore. I used to be, at one point.”

His haunted expression told you not to press him for details, so you just nodded sympathetically. The two of you lapsed into silence, the weight of tragedy hanging between you. You’d had a lot more time to become numb to your circumstances, but it was clear the pain he was experiencing was still fresh.

“I will be forced to remarry eventually.” He sighed heavily. “Produce heirs to carry out the lineage, show Rome a unified front.”

“Well, whoever you marry shall be the most fortunate woman in the empire.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, looking over at you. “You really believe so? You’re not just flattering me?”

“Of course,” you said, giving him a cryptic smile that made him laugh again. “I’m perfectly serious.”

“Oh, I am sure you are.”

After some time, he rose with a small splash, prompting you to immediately approach with an outstretched towel. His nudity barely registered in your mind, having already glimpsed him a few times. You wouldn’t dare to look at him directly, even if you were more than a little curious. You tensed as his fingers barely brushed yours in the exchange, but you quickly stepped back to give him more room.

He wrapped the towel around his waist, water dripping down his sculpted arms and chest. You went to start tidying up, studiously keeping your eyes on your task. He watched as you picked up the refreshments to take to the main chamber, a part of him wishing you would look at him instead.

“One more thing,” he said and you immediately turned around. “Please, I want you to call me Lucius.”

Your face heated up at the mere thought of it. “I could never be so bold…”

“I insist,” he said, holding up a hand as you began to stammer again. “Perhaps only when it is just the two of us, if you’d prefer.”

“I will certainly try my best,” you said with an awkward grin, trying to keep your composure.

He chuckled. “Good enough for me.”

—-----------------

Weeks passed, and while Lucius still hadn’t managed to get you to call him by name, he had certainly gotten you to open up more. In the evenings, the two of you swapped more poetry, often sharing your own interpretations of the verses. At some point, he even had scrolls fetched from the library for you to read to him. He enjoyed the mellifluous sound of your voice, so at odds with your serious expression when you were concentrating. To have him as your sole audience was already titillating, but the fact that he paid close attention was even more of a rush.

During the day, you anxiously looked forward to those handful of hours in which everything else disappeared. No speak of Rome, politics, or bitter memories, content with being each other’s brief escape. You still held yourself at a certain distance, though, always aware of the chasm between you. Yet he never made you feel inferior, often encouraging you to share your thoughts and opinions with him despite your reticence. You would even dare to say he cared, or at least that’s what you wanted to believe.

You wouldn’t necessarily say you were getting attached, for that would be too unrealistic of a fantasy, but you could not deny the butterflies in your stomach that often appeared while around him. His easy, handsome smile, the kindness in his eyes, his patient indulgence when listening to you, and the effort he put into making you laugh…

But the spell was abruptly broken the day he received a visit from his friend Ravi, who had brought someone for him to meet – a respectable Roman lady. A widow, as it happened, just like Lucius. Her hair was perfectly styled, falling in ringlets that framed her lovely face. She wore a lavender-colored dress with a matching veil, much fancier than anything you’d ever owned, and was adorned with golden jewelry. More importantly, she was freeborn, and thus a perfectly good candidate for marriage.

You swallowed hard, otherwise keeping your expression neutral. You hadn’t thought he would start meeting potential brides so soon, and you certainly hadn’t expected how it would make you feel. At least, Lucius also seemed surprised, not expecting his friend to try to set him up without consulting him first. Still, he assumed the role of gracious host and welcomed them warmly, leading them out to the gardens. He glanced over his shoulder at you as you silently trailed behind them, but you didn’t meet his gaze.

The three of them reclined on the couches of the outdoor dining area, shaded by a wooden pergola. It was a beautiful sunny day, the birds singing accompanied by the gurgle of the large fountain at the center of the garden. A gentle breeze stirred the foliage, carrying the faint, sweet smell of a dozen different flowers.

You served them wine and hovered close by as another servant brought them food to snack on. Lucius had deliberately sat across from where you stood just so he could keep an eye on you. You’d withdrawn into yourself, trying your hardest to remain indifferent instead of worrying about whether the meeting went well or not. If it did, then you had to be happy for him, but if it didn’t… Well, at least that would buy you a little more time, if nothing else.

“Such a lovely garden,” the lady, Ilaria, said as she looked around. “One could never tire of such a view.”

Lucius nodded absently but said nothing, as if he hadn’t heard her.

“I could see you fitting in perfectly with all the other flowers here,” Ravi cut in, smiling with as much charm as he could muster to make up for it.

Ilaria inclined her head, modestly waving off the compliment. “Oh, you flatter me, Ravi.”

He gave Lucius a subtle, pointed look to encourage him to follow his lead. Lucius sat up and cleared his throat, only just focusing on the conversation. He had been trying to get your attention as subtly as possible, but he hadn’t been successful.

“Er, yes, it’s always a treat to spend time out here. Certainly helps to clear the mind.”

Ravi shook his head a little and tried not to snort with amusement, thinking he was a lost case. Ilaria smiled, unbothered, taking a handful of grapes from a platter and popping one into her mouth.

“I’d wager there is much on your plate, Imperator,” she said. “And having to manage the household staff on top of everything else… Must be a little overwhelming for you, no?”

“Well, I am a very busy man, yes, but it hasn’t been all that bad,” Lucius said. “I’ve certainly had a great deal of support to see me through.”

His words managed to reach you, softening you up infinitesimally. This time, when he glanced at you, you finally looked back. The ghost of a smile was on your face, but you quickly looked away before it could actually manifest.

“I see. Well, I’m very glad to hear that,” Ilaria said, sharing a curious glance with Ravi, who looked slightly apologetic. “Though perhaps you have considered that having someone run the house for you would take a big burden off your shoulders. I would be more than happy to lend a hand if you’d consider it.”

His eyebrows raised slightly at her boldness, not missing the eagerness in her gaze, poorly concealed behind her innocently helpful demeanor. He certainly did not want to get her hopes up, but he smiled graciously to soften the blow.

“Ah, perhaps in the future, when I have more time to worry about such things,” he said, politely noncommittal. “But I appreciate the offer.”

Her smile wavered and then froze, not wanting to seem too disappointed. “Of course, Imperator.”

For the remainder of their visit, Lucius let them do most of the talking, any remarks he made were studiously polite and yet still a little aloof. Finally, after a few hours, he excused himself, needing to return to his duties. Ravi seemed hesitant, like he wanted to stay behind and speak to him privately, but he would have to wait for another day. He escorted them both out, thanking them for visiting, but he did not exactly invite Ilaria to return to the palace. Her disappointment was more palpable then, but she hid it with as much grace as she could muster.

When they were gone, he turned to you with a shake of his head and a sigh, grinning with bewilderment.

“I do not enjoy being ambushed,” he said as if he felt the need to explain himself. “Decent enough as she seemed.”

You bowed your head in agreement, more relieved than you would like to admit. You had no real reason to have been upset earlier, given that there was nothing between you except for a certain kinship. Even so, it was clear he had not wanted you to be hurt, and you were very thankful for that. You offered him a small smile and some tension seemed to leave his shoulders.

He inclined his head towards the eastern hallway leading to his study. “Come, I would like you to read some documents to me. I can get work done faster that way.”

The tablinum was spacious but cozy, with a door to one side that led to a smaller patio. Before, the twin emperors had never used the room, but now it seemed well lived in. There was a mess of scrolls and wax tablets all over his desk that he still hadn’t let you organize. On the wall behind, there was a recently completed fresco of a gladiator riding a chariot pulled by two horses. For another wall, he had commissioned a portrait of Vesta, goddess of the home and the hearth, but it was still a work in progress. He was particularly proud of that one, an unspoken gift for you, his muse.

You lit the oil lamps in their alcoves, bathing the room in warm light. Lucius sat at his desk with a heavy exhale and scanned his notes to remember where he had left off the previous day. You sat on a stool beside him, unfurling the scroll he handed you and resting it on your knees. The texts you read didn’t always make sense to you, but you understood their importance. The fact that he was entrusting you with such work was an honor you did not take for granted.

“Start in that middle section. There is some stuff I would like to revisit,” he said, taking up his stylus.

You nodded, finding what he was referring to and starting right away. You read to him for the next couple of hours, only stopping if he needed you to repeat something or in case he needed more time to make his notes. A few times during the latter, you glanced up to take in the focused furrow of his brow, a muscle in his jaw ticking as he pondered. You wondered what he might be thinking about, wishing he would impart some more knowledge on you.

Outside, the sun was beginning to set, shadows deepening in the corners of the room. Another servant brought him dinner, but he didn’t seem too hungry yet. He handed you his cup of water when he heard you clear your throat a few times, insisting when you were reluctant to take it.

When he was done for the day, he stretched his arms over his head with a groan and slumped in his seat. You neatly rolled the parchment back up and stood so you could stretch your legs.

“I hope I haven’t tired you too much,” he said, folding his hands behind his head and leaning back. “You can take the rest of the evening off from reading if you’d like, but I would still appreciate some company.”

“Well, I still need to draw your bath and…”

“Somebody else can take care of it,” he cut in with a shrug, not preoccupied.

You hesitated. “What would you have me do instead, then?”

“Just sit back down, relax for a moment,” he said, getting up. “Here, you can have my chair. Much more comfortable.”

You were about to protest, but he gave you a look that said it was not up for discussion. You pursed your lips, uncomfortable at the idea of being idle, especially while taking up his seat. Still, you obeyed and sat down, hands folded on your lap. Feeling a little bold, you looked at him as if to say ‘satisfied?’ and he huffed in amusement.

“Wait, stay still,” he murmured suddenly, leaning down.

You froze as his face hovered mere inches away from yours, his breath fanning over your cupid’s bow. Delicately, he removed a stray eyelash that had been resting on your cheekbone, and he pulled back a little so you could see it on the pad of his finger.

“Make a wish,” he said.

All you could do was stare at him for another breathless moment that seemed to stretch on infinitely. You licked your lips nervously, drawing his eyes there before they returned to hold your gaze. Your heart was like a nervous bird fluttering wildly in your ribcage. Your mind was mostly blank, but the one thought that popped up was ‘I wish he would close the distance right now.’

You gently blew the eyelash away, your wish scattering into the air alongside it. The Gods must have decided to grant it immediately, for he did not pull away, instead slowly leaning in. His lips brushed yours tentatively and you closed your eyes, rejoicing for the barest second before you forced your face to turn away.

“We shouldn’t…” you murmured, the words hard to utter when a desperate want clung to your throat like honey.

“Why not?” He whispered.

“It’s not– I’m not…” You vaguely gestured towards yourself, unsure of what the right words were.

He pulled back to look at you better. “Was I too presumptuous?”

You shook your head. “Not at all.”

“Then what is it?” He pressed.

“Dominus, please.”

“Lucius,” he pleaded, loathing the title. “Say it, please.”

“Lucius,” you said finally, though your eyes still spelled defiance when you glanced at him. “Is it not obvious? We both know it’s impossible.” Your lower lip trembled slightly. “I have a heart, too, you know? I don’t want it to be broken.”

“I know that, of course I know that!” He said, placing his hands on your shoulders and crouching in front of you. “I have no intention of breaking your heart.”

“Surely you understand where I am coming from, though.” You sniffed, keeping tears at bay. “I am not wife material, like the lady Ilaria. I have nothing to offer, no dowry, no family name, or even an inkling of Patrician blood. ”

“I do not care for such things. I would never demand them of you. Even if we cannot marry, I will not marry anyone else that isn’t you,” he said with a firm, determined shake of his head. “But I can still give you my name, along with your freedom. That’s all that matters to me.”

You gasped, the shock of his words akin to a bucket of ice water being dumped over you. Now you let the tears spill over, like a dam had finally burst. He kissed them away, his hands cupping your face gently.

“I have been thinking of nothing else since I met you. I’ve already made the arrangements… I suppose I just didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

“You honor me,” you said, smiling despite the tears. “You always have.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” He asked. “You have given me more than you think. You brought me the peace I have been so desperately seeking for a long time.”

“I-I don’t even know how to thank you.” You placed a hand over his. “If you desire to give me your name, then I shall give you mine in return.”

You told him your name, the real one, which you had been hiding ever since your Roman name was given to you. He had never asked you for it, knowing that one’s name was the only thing one could truly own in this world. And now for you to give it freely… He repeated it, testing its shape on his tongue, and smiled radiantly.

“Pairs rather well with Lucia Veria, if I do say so myself,” he said with a proud chuckle, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “If you’ll have it, that is.”

You knew by the disarming earnestness in his eyes he wasn’t just offering the name, but himself, as well. His whole heart in the palm of your hand, should you choose to care for it. You felt as if you had already made that choice a while ago, when you first recited Virgil back to him.

“I will,” you said with an elated chuckle. “Of course I will.”

He took your hands in his, kissing both of them. “Then first thing tomorrow, we will make it official.”

More tears flowed as a result of an overwhelming rush of both gratitude and love. You had tried to ignore your feelings, not uprooting them but instead silently letting them grow unacknowledged. For once, it had seemed worth the risk of heartbreak. After all, the love hadn’t stemmed from something as fleeting as lust, but a mutual understanding and respect. It was more than you could ever ask for, and yet everything you desired.

You leaned your forehead against his, your noses brushing as he tilted his head back. This time, it was you who brought your lips to his with a tentative sort of tenderness, propriety still at the back of your mind. He responded in kind, letting you set the pace so as not to scare you off. If you weren’t shaking so much, you might have noticed he was shaking, too.

In that kiss, there was the promise of mutual devotion, sweet and sincere. You were still holding each other’s hands, as if afraid you might drift apart if you let go. You understood then why odes were written about this feeling, as all-consuming as the churning waves of the sea. All those verses had never resonated with you more.

Perhaps you had inherited the romanticism, after all.

—------------------

The air smelled of night-blooming jasmine, the fresh sweetness of it bringing you a sense of tranquility. You leaned against the windowsill, looking up at the stars and trying to piece together constellations. The world seemed drastically different now that you had your freedom, so vivid, so open, so alive. You even noticed it in your posture and the lightness with which you walked, as if you were floating. Lucius had said you were radiant with it.

He’d insisted on taking care of you the same way you’d cared for him, eager to show you his gratitude. You had been hesitant at first, but at his unwavering conviction, you relented, curious how it might feel to be spoiled. All that day, he had served you reverently, taking time off from his duties to focus solely on you.

You couldn’t help getting flustered at all the attention, his ardent gaze like a caress every time it met yours. His touch had so far been entirely chaste, but even the smallest, most innocuous contact was heightened with anticipation. The brush of his fingers over yours when he handed you something, a guiding hand on your lower back, even a touch on your shoulder to make you aware of his presence.

There were a few sneaked kisses in both the garden and the tablinum, each one of them leaving an undercurrent of warmth under your skin that promised more. It was like a slow, drawn-out game of chase, neither of you in a rush to reach its conclusion. If anything, it only made you want each other more.

After the sun had set, when the two of you drifted along as if in a drunken stupor, Lucius went to prepare a bath for you in his chambers. You were nervous and exhilarated, every moment spent waiting for him to be done an exquisite agony. Until finally, he poked his head around the bathroom door.

“It’s ready now,” he said, beckoning you with a smile.

You followed him into the bathroom, hands wringing anxiously. Flower petals were scattered on the mosaic floor, leading towards the steaming tub. Flickering candles bathed the room in a warm glow, making your shadows dance on the wall. You looked at each other, both knowing what the next step was but hesitant to initiate it. He averted his gaze first, gesturing towards the door.

“Would you like me to give you some privacy?”

You shook your head, desire making you a little more brave. “I… I would love some help undressing, though.”

His spine straightened, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. “With pleasure.”

He crouched to slowly pull the hem of your long tunic upwards, rising with it. You lifted your arms so he could get it over your head, the fabric falling to the floor unceremoniously. Your eyes were fixed on his face, drinking in his expression as he took a step back to get a better look at you. The bare expanse of your skin robbed him of breath, his eyes roaming over every curve and plane of your figure. He wanted to sink to his knees again and lay his forehead at your feet in worship, but he stood still, his fingers twitching at his sides.

“The evening star is the most beautiful of all stars,” he said in a low voice, quoting Sappho.

Warmth spread from your chest to your face, and you smiled coyly as another verse came to mind. “Come to me once more, and abate my torment…”

You offered him your hand, which he took, and he led you to the tub. You daintily stepped in, sighing contentedly as you sank into the water’s enveloping warmth. He knelt next to the tub, leaning against it with one arm propped on the edge.

“Have I told you enough times that you are beautiful?” He said. “I don’t think it has been enough.”

You huffed with amusement, looking down as you fought a geeky grin. “Well, about a hundred times with just your eyes. A few times out loud, though.”

He chuckled. “I suppose I’ll have to show you in other ways, too… If I may.”

You nodded, silently granting him permission. He leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on your lips before standing up. He took it upon himself to bathe you, starting out by scrubbing your scalp. You leaned into his touch, eyes closing in bliss. He smiled at your soft, pleasured hum, and vowed to elicit as many more as he could.

Things took on an almost ritualistic quality, with him focused entirely on his task. You were loose limbed, letting him move you about as he used a cloth to scrub your skin. He didn’t try anything that might be deemed unsavory, though you let his tender, reverential touch reach places no one had touched in a very, very long time. But he didn’t linger, to your slight frustration, not wanting to jump into things too quickly. The flames of your desire were stoked slowly, warmth running through you like sweet wine.

When he was done, he helped you step out of the tub and immediately got to drying you off with a towel. You caught his eye for a moment, his pupils blown wide with equally fervent desire. You stopped yourself from clutching his arm, wanting to anchor yourself to him, but he could still tell you were growing restless. He kissed your shoulder, tapping the tip of your nose playfully with his finger.

“Not done quite yet,” he murmured, not missing the way you involuntarily pressed your thighs together. “You’ve always been very patient.”

“For the first time, I fear it might be running thin…” you said, to which he smiled.

He grabbed a small glass bottle of rose oil and lathered some in his hands. He anointed your body with it, the heady scent of one of Venus’s favorite flowers permeating the air. As he reached your chest, you took hold of his wrist and brought his palm to rest over your heart. He felt it beating rapidly, your chest rising and falling with each panting breath.

His eyes fell to your lips, slightly parted with want. He grasped your chin with his free hand, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip.

“I have been thinking about this for a long time,” he said, leaning in to brush his nose against yours. “But I hadn’t wanted to touch you until now, when you actually felt like you had a choice in the matter.”

You clutched his wrist tighter, his thoughtfulness only making you want him more. All those hours he must have spent yearning, unaware that you were stuck thinking of him too. As emperor, he had the right to take whatever he wanted, but having previously been a gladiator, he understood the monumental importance of bodily autonomy. Very few people in Rome had such a privilege and he couldn’t bear the thought of being the one to rob you of it.

You kissed him in response, much fiercer, hungrier, than all the other kisses you had shared so far. A desperate sound escaped his throat and he clasped you against him tightly. Swiftly, he scooped you up into his strong arms and carried you out to the bedchamber as he would a bride.

Gently, he set you down on the bed and pulled away to remove his tunic. This time, you were not meek about his nakedness. You brazenly stared at him, eyes mapping out the lines of his muscles, the pink, raised skin of his scars, and the soft trail of hair on his abdomen that seemed to suggestively point downwards.

His shoulders were squared with pride at your ogling, a sly smile on his face. He’d had an inkling before of your attraction, but to see it on full display was narcotic, and he felt himself pulse with an aching need.

“Come closer,” you said softly.

He did, climbing over you, his warmth immediately enveloping you. You hid your face on the junction between his neck and shoulder, embarrassed at all the thoughts rushing through your mind.

“What is it?” He asked, raising an eyebrow with amusement.

“Nothing,” you said, voice muffled against his skin. “I just… I do not think you realize how badly I wanted this, too. I-I don’t want to ever stop.”

He chuckled indulgently, nudging your head so you’d look at him. “Neither do I.”

He kissed you again, and again, and again. You were so close to him that the lines of your bodies became indivisible, but it still didn’t seem like enough. Your knees hiked up to his hips in a silent plea, but he did not give in quite yet, wanting to prolong things for as long as he could.

Still, unable to resist a little bit of mutual torment, he slid upwards until his hips were aligned with yours. You gasped as you felt the velvety underside of his erection against your slick folds, each small movement making you tremble. Your brows furrowed and your lips parted in a wanton expression, your eyes shiny and half lidded as you looked at him.

“Lucius,” you whimpered.

“I know,” he murmured soothingly, kissing your neck. “I know.”

Neither of you were willing to break apart from your embrace, so there wasn’t actually much of a preamble. Feverish, he sank into you slowly, your nails digging into his biceps as he stretched you open. That first round was frantic, almost animalistic, all the pent up longing finally being released. His body rolled over yours with the power of the sea’s waves, leaving you awash in ecstasy.

Neither of you lasted very long, but it didn’t matter, as you were nowhere near spent. Lucius, still in the afterglow of his orgasm, lazily began to kiss you all over, wanting to discover every mole and freckle, every tender spot that made you squirm, and every other little detail that made you you.

He settled between your thighs, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive bundle of nerves. You tried to prop yourself up on your elbows to look at him, but he wrapped his arms around your thighs and pulled you closer.

“What are you– Oh,” you gasped at the first flick of his tongue, the entirely new sensation disarming you.

He tasted his essence mixed with yours, a groan rumbling in his chest. You tightly grasped the sheets under you, arching against his face. You bit your lip to stop yourself from making the most undignified sounds, but it was hard to focus, especially as his fingers were added into the mix. Your body burned brighter than any brazier, his arms pinning you down as he conquered you with his mouth. You shattered once more, crying out as he helped you ride it all the way through.

After, you lied side by side, facing each other. You’d still not had your fill of him, but you needed to gather your strength for the long night ahead. You shared a breathy chuckle, as if still in disbelief it had finally happened, and he kissed your sweat-slick forehead.

“Now that was poetry,” you said jokingly, making him laugh again.

“You put every verse to shame, my love,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

You kissed his palm, adoring, and tangled your legs with his. A swell of emotion unlike anything you had ever felt rose within you. It was as if he had awakened a new part of you that you hadn’t known was dormant, bringing you back from an existence that consisted solely of drifting through days that blended into one another.

He was just as grateful to have found you, his peace, his solace, the woman who would always guard his heart. He murmured your name reverently, a reminder that you were his, and he was yours. You drew closer to him, like a moth to flame, and pushed him onto his back, straddling him. His hands came to rest on your hips and your eyes were full of mirth as you held his gaze.

“As it happens, I find myself compelled to compose some more with you.” You grinned playfully, hands sliding up his chest.

He mirrored your grin, not minding the idea one bit. “Relentless, just like the great muse Calliope.”

“Well, when inspiration strikes… It can’t be helped, can it?”

“No,” he said. “Not when it comes to you.”

------

#kickin my feet n twirling my hair rn

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prettiestb4byd0ll · 7 months ago

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Me everyday:

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prettiestb4byd0ll · 7 months ago

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𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧 || 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

summary_ Hanno, the man you loved, was getting married, you left Numidia and when he found you again, you were married to one of the emperors of Rome.

warnings_ historical inaccuracy, vague public sex, angst, sexism and misogyny, fluff but angst, a lot of canon divergence bc I said so, FLUFF, no proofread.

notes_ pls listen to mermaids and queen of peace from Florence + The Machine, there’s so many Paul Mescal type of vibe songs

♫ ♪ Paul playlist

✰ Index (+ fics here)

𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ 𓆇𓆸⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ 𓆇𓆸⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ 𓆇𓆸

The sun burned your skin, often leaving carmine splotches across your shoulders, arms, and neck. But you loved collecting shells and finding pearls to sell. The water was warm as well but soothed the heat of the sun.

Loneliness wasn’t a stranger. Being a kid in the sandy streets all alone, with no family made you judgmental.

It was a fluke that you knew how to speak in Masri, Etruscan, and Latin. With an uncertain origin, you could only guess that you might have come from Egypt or Etruria Padana.

As a teenager, you arrived in Numidia, where you found a job that made you a pioneer in the waters.

Everyone let their hands get wet to fish. But barely, they took the time to dig deeper and for a longer period to collect shells, oysters, and fascinating underwater treasures.

Over the years, you earned the names of “siren” or “sea foam woman”. The children enjoyed your stories of mermaids and sailors in mysterious waters, making you a trustworthy friend to almost everyone in Numidia.

“Imagine the sunset as if someone had splotched pink, orange, and purple over the aquamarine sea,” you say pointing at the shore. “That’s when all of the mermaids swam to the surface and played”

The children giggle and you chuckle, feeling that you shake as doing so, you quickly look down at the sleeping baby in your arms, wondering if you have woken him up. False alarm. Her mother, Nessarea, was a good friend of yours and she trusted you enough to leave her kid as she worked trimming satin in the market.

“But when they looked around, they found a big ship full of sailors. The mermaids got scared and hid…”

“Did the sailors hurt them?” A little girl with braids asked.

“No, dear. The sailors proposed a deal. They would visit the mermaids once a year and take one of them. In exchange, treasures would be given”

“And that’s why you’re here, y/n! You’re a mermaid and the sailors took you!” Soon an adult masculine laugh was mixed with yours, making you frown and look around. Only to find an unmistakable pair of blue eyes looking at you. That makes your smile grow and your heart to warmth.

“I’m not certain about that, little one” The boy makes a pout and at a certain distance you hear a bamboo flute. The sign of mothers calling their children to go home.

“No, y/n. You have to tell us who was the first mermaid to go with the sailors. Or else we’ll assume it was you “

“I’ll keep it a secret for tonight” you finalize, standing up and saying goodbye to each child. You watch them run away, to the village. And it’s only you and the baby in your arms, who started squirming and stretching.

And your dear Hanno.

“Parents will come and complain to you…” he says, remaining seated on a big rock and looking in awe at you.

“Let the children believe in fantasy while they can” you answer, tending the baby and smiling at his tiny hands forming fists. “Soon they’ll understand I am no mermaid”

“Hardly. Every day there’s a sea foam woman on the shore…” you glare at him with disdain, only to laugh again. He made space for you to sit beside him. And for some minutes he would only look at you taking care of the baby.

“How did you know I was here?” You ask eyeing him. Subtly he blushes.

“It isn’t a secret you gather all the children to tell them” you chuckle.

“Like a star chases the sun…” you say resting your head on his shoulder. Which he finds lovely. “You always find me, Hanno”

“And I will always will…”

Hanno was a reserved man. You met him years ago when he also arrived in Numidia. He was lonely like you, rarely spoke about his past, and claimed to be centered in the present.

“Here… I brought you something” he said, digging his hand under the pocket of his tunic. He took out a necklace. Made with shells you had collected.

“Hanno… this is beautiful. It must’ve cost a lot. You shouldn’t…” you almost whisper, holding the piece of art with one hand and looking at it in love.

Just like you were with him.

“It’s a present, y/n. No inquires in the cost”

“Thanks. I love it…” he nods, urging you to lift your hair so he can place the necklace around your neck.

You look at the shore again, now almost in complete darkness. But soon you get lost as you feel his calloused fingers in your exposed skin. He was a farmer, with tanned skin, burnt blonde hair, and a beard that made him look like a Roman prince.

It was a mystery the day you fell in love with him. As well as when you would confess it.

“What is he doing?” Hanno asks after putting the necklace around you. You frown confused but soon you understand. “Ajay likes you, Hanno”

The man looks carefully at the baby. He wasn’t around children very often. But he enjoyed how well you handled them. It made him want a family. And he often wondered if you wanted the same. With him…

Little Ajay wrapped his tiny hand around Hanno’s finger and it made your heart swell.

“I’m getting a piece of the land where we have the green sprouts” he announces and it makes you squeal in happiness. “Hanno, that’s the most exciting news!”

“I’m having a home” he realized as you were ushering to hug him, slightly sandwiching Ajay.

Hanno bit his tongue, almost saying what he dreamed. Asking if you wanted to be part of his home.

…

When rain fell upon the dry and arid land of Numidia, you felt superstitious, feeling it was a bad omen.

You hadn’t seen Hanno in a couple of days. The last time you saw him he said he would come and visit you. The spring nights you spent together made you realize how in love you were. It was uncertain if Hanno loved you back but you thought it might have been mutual. Because of the way his eyes locked on yours, the way his hands carefully traced some spots on your body, the smiles that felt very personal to you.

Hanno made you feel special. He was your best friend. The person you would sacrifice for and the one who could take out your heart as dramatic as it sounded.

“You’ve waited for him for days, y/n,” Nessarea said, rocking Ajay in her arms as she patted your shoulder. “Are you gonna tell him about the matron?”

“It depends…” you answer, sighing, looking at the valley in front of you. The clothes hanging, waiting to get dry swayed with the warm air.

“On what?”

“I’m telling him I love him. If Hanno loves me back, I will forget about the matron” The old woman from the elite saw you dancing and asked if you knew how to write and read. You knew the minimum because Hanno taught you, but you needed more. She claimed she could educate you, but not in Numidia. She didn’t tell you where.

“You really love him that much?” Nessarea asked.

“So much that I would remain in ignorance just to be with him”

“I would’ve done the same for Calisto” Your friend had lost his husband before Ajay was born. You felt terrible for her, as she had also been in love.

“You can love again, Nessarea. Calisto will always be yours. But you can be happy again, Ajay too…” you say kissing the baby’s head.

When you turn around, you see Hanno walking through the hanging clothes and a smile appears.

“He’s here!” You announce, literally running outside the little hut, straight to his arms.

He accepts your embrace and you hear him chuckling.

“You worried me, Hanno!” you say after breaking the hug, giving him a little punch on his strong chest. “You took so long to come over”

“I’m sorry” he didn’t look as happy as he was when he first saw you. You sensed he even looked nervous. “I’ve been busy”

“Let’s go inside, it’s raining” You take his hand but he doesn’t follow you. Which makes you turn around and look again at him, expectantly.

“I’m getting married to Arishat” the oxygen drained from your lungs. Your smile disappeared and Hanno noticed it. “Her father made the offer last night and I couldn’t say no”

Arishat was a couple of years older than you, the same age as Hanno. Her father was a warrior and they were native from Numidia but they were away for some time. They arrived back a couple of months ago and Hanno started working with his father, where he met the woman.

“You couldn’t say no? Hanno, you can’t marry someone you don’t love”

“I guess I’ll learn to love her. Because it is-….” he was so close to saying that the one he loved was you.

“A matron saw me dancing a couple of days ago. We met and she wants to educate me” The decision was taken, Hanno had decided. Rage filled you, taking a step back, marking the distance between you and the man.

“A matron? Likely a filthy Roman scum” you frown at his words, crossing your arms.

“You’re not happy that I’m getting educated? That I’ll stop being just a woman that gets wet to put a damn piece of bread on that creaky table?” You spat out, pointing at the table that could be seen inside the hut.

“You know it’s not like that, y/n…” Hanno sighed, brushing his hair in exasperation. “You’re perfect just like you are, with the things you do…”

“Well, I want more” Hanno could feel the venom in your voice, he could see the coldness growing in your eyes and the distance you had placed.

You sigh, knowing it’s over. He’s getting married to a strong woman, one that everyone loved and praised in her family, and he would be happy as time passed. If he agreed to marry someone he barely knew was because he didn’t love you as you thought. Just a friend…

“Congratulations on the engagement,” you say leaning to grab your empty basket, ready to go and collect shells, even in the pouring rain. “I truly hope you’re very happy with her”

“Come back, y/n…” you hear him calling you as your steps grow further. Tears swell in your eyes and you grab the basket even harder, hoping it would dissipate your need to scream in agony. “Please, y/n…”

Your figure slowly disappeared through the meadows, no longer a picture in the valley.

He screamed that he loved you. Hoping you would come back.

But you didn’t.

And hopefully this time he wouldn’t find you.

That night Hanno came back, willing to break the proposal and stay with you, but Nessarea opened the door with teary eyes, revealing you were gone. You promised to keep her and Ajay safe. Hanno found your basket of shells, all of them cracked, and only one of them remained untouched.

He wanted to cry out in desperation. If he would’ve said it when he had you in front of him, if he had chosen better words, if he had run faster, but he kept that cream iridescent shell under his tunic. Promising to hold on to your memory.

…

Propecia was the name of the matron that took you under her wing. After a month by her side, your hair was trimmed, and your skin felt like silk, unburnt. Your body was covered in fine fabrics, and she even arranged to get you a pair of earrings made of gold.

Promicia was cold, even heartless. But she was willing to make you shine just to make her name go even up higher leagues.

And she did it.

She made you forget everything you knew about Numidia. The siren everyone claimed to know actually turned into sea foam, to never be seen again. She washed away, melting away, to overseas.

“Keep your chin up and shoulders straight, girl,” Promicia said coldly. “I want you to look perfect when we arrive at the palace”

“Yes, dominus”

Even when you forgot who you were before arriving in Rome, you constantly remembered Nessarea as well as Ajay.

And Hanno. But as soon as you were reminded that he married, that he already had a home. Your blood boiled, to then succumb into sadness. Hence why you preferred to avoid his memory. Only resulting in pain.

And when Promicia announced that one of the emperors of Rome was interested in you, you had no time to go back to the past.

Your steps were confident as you ascended through the stairs of the most exotic and ostentatious place you’ve ever been to. The guards had luxurious uniforms, the carpets were perfectly handmade and when you reached the top, two red-haired men were standing there.

One was taller, with fine makeup around his eyes and cheekbones. The other had messy hair, a crown with leaves, and a little monkey resting on his shoulder. Their names are Geta and Caracalla.

You wondered which of the two twins was the one that wanted you.

Promicia ushered you to wait behind. She walked towards the twins and knelt, talking in Latin with them. You understood she was saying you came from Egypt, that you could read, write, sing, play the lyre, and dance as well as speak three languages.

You had no desire to fall in love again but if Promicia could secure you would have a shiny future, with power and security, you would give in.

“Come closer, girl…” the old woman called you and you obeyed. “Kneel down in respect of our emperors…”

You do as she says, your cream dress pooling on the floor. You look down, completely nervous but eager to know what will happen.

The fabric with dark blue and embroidered golden details appear in your view. You understand it’s Geta the one that is interested in you.

“Look at me, says” You raise your head slowly, matching his brown eyes. “What do you want?” Emperor Geta asked, his fingers resting on your chin, with his cold rings sending shivers down your spine.

“Mercy I implore…” he smiles at you and it’s evil, but loving at the same time. Like he has found something he could win over his twin brother.

And to you, it meant leaving the sea foam woman behind. A mermaid was taken away from the island, her teeth sharpening, ready to sink in whoever’s men tried to defy her. Even when it was the Roman Empire.

…

The count was lost after the third fig you ate. It was hot and dry and it made you feel irritated.

One day ago Acacius returned to Rome after conquering Numidia. Which led to having a doting husband that was beyond happy.

“Today we’ll see the new gladiators in the celebration and tomorrow the games will begin” Geta announced stepping behind the chair you were sitting at. Your eyes wandered into the mausoleum that was visible from the terrace of the palace, but soon you were distracted by the lips of your husband, leaving a trail of kisses. From your cheek to your neck.

“You’re excited, vita mea,” you say, tilting your head, giving him more space to wander. He pretends to innocently stop his kisses near your cleavage. Making you huff.

“You seem excited too…” he said chuckling, oblivious that you cared for him, but what you enjoyed with him was far from being devoted. “We’re leaving early today, y/n. Just after the entertainment…”

You hated Roman entertainment. You couldn’t feel nor see the thrill of witnessing death, violence, and chaos. But your husband loved it.

It wasn’t perfect, both of you often argued. But you always find a way to make up: with sex.

“Sure, my dear,” you say, turning around to kiss him on the lips. He soon leaves with a giant smile on his face.

Geta was head over heels for you. Sometimes he would use you to show off, especially to his brother.

But he stopped getting involved in orgies or requesting whores just because of you. He was extremely possessive but tender. Always make time for yourself and value your opinion. Which you took advantage of.

Weeks ago, when you learned Geta and Caracalla would send their army to Numidia. You had to beg General Acacius to take a longer route. Only that way your message to Nessarea would arrive in time for her to escape. The General was hesitant but as soon you got naked he changed his mind.

Upon his return, you cherished him with a hot and steamy welcome, sneaking out of the strong grip of your husband.

You wondered if Hanno made it alive. He was always good at self-defense, but if he tried to go against the Roman Empire, he would lose. You even prayed for General Acacius to survive the attack, above your once dear Hanno.

And you had grown fond of Geta. A weak emperor like his brother. Often clueless about what to do with the power they had. Making them a naïve pair. But he was nice to you, treating you like an empress.

You barely looked at the gladiators fighting and tearing the fancy tables filled with food. You hated looking at violence with no point, no reason to be. So you moved away, sneaking through the people to get the side of your husband.

Geta praised the anger of the gladiators. And he was very interested in one brought from Numidia. You heard he was insatiable, biting animals and killing without mercy.

So hearing Geta applauding to the spectacle said man had done, made you roll your eyes as you passed through people that mostly made reverences to you.

You had no desire to look up and see who was the man that had half of Rome intrigued.

Until he started reciting poetry. It made your steps slower, it made you feel cautious and spied on.

“Smooth is the descent, and easy is the way…”

“Psyche followed a path to prove her love to Eros. Like a star chases the sun…” you suddenly gasp. Turning to where the voice came from. You look terrified when you meet the eyes of the gladiator speaking. Saying the story you always loved.

Hanno is there, breathing for air, sweating, with blood dripping. He looks hurt, tired, enraged. But he had eyed you before you did, transmitting some hope and shock to you.

And it didn’t go unnoticed by your husband.

“What nonsense is this poet saying?” Geta asks with anger well hidden, possessively hurrying to grab you by the waist.

“He bit a monkey, he might have caught a disease, Amica mea” you whisper, acting stupid, pretending to be careless and clueless, like you don’t know the bloody man steps away from you was never important to you.

Hanno looks disappointed by your reaction. He stepped back, looking lost.

“Hmm…” Geta is not convinced, but you calm him well enough to let the matter die.

But you are in shambles. As soon as the celebration is over, you send Geta to wait for you in the palace. But you go straight to Macrinus, who was almost gone.

“I would like to talk to your gladiator” he turns around and smiles proudly.

“He put on a show today. How did you like it?” you have to force a smile and pretend to be excited.

“Oh, it was marvelous. I can’t wait to see what he’s doing tomorrow on the first day of the games. Because you’re bringing him, right?” Macrinus nods. “Of course, your highness”

“Good. I wish to see him. The poetry he recited was very touching. I must know where it comes to that charm” Macrinus believes your lie and nods again.

“Of course, follow me…”

…

You ended up in a bathhouse. Macrinus said Hanno was given a private room since he won the fight. Also said he was having a meeting and then would come back for his gladiators. So you didn’t have enough time.

And with four guards that had the order of not letting anyone inside until you came out, you reunited every strength you had to step inside.

A door creaked and soon you heard the sound of water splashing. When you looked up, you pulled your cloak down and finally met the man who had you in crisis.

“Y/n…” his voice echoed, sounding deeper and hypnotizing.

“Why are you here?” Your clumsy steps made you look nervous, which Hanno quickly noticed. “Who sent you to Macrinus?”

“Numidia was conquered” he simply replied, eyeing at you. Realizing how much you had changed. Your once-free hair was trapped in a weird hairstyle and a crown of leaves and flowers. Your dress looked expensive and your skin was in perfect condition. Certainly looks like royalty.

“I know that”

“Perhaps because you formed part of the decision” that makes you frown.

“I’m not involved in the military issues of Rome” you coldly answer.

“You married the emperor?” He asks, mocking you. But you could also play the same game. Even if it didn’t have an effect on him. Or so you thought.

“Where’s your lady?” He looks down, visibly pissed off.

“She didn’t make it...” you cannot feel anything. “Your beloved General commanded her death under the call of your husband and his brother”

“I’m sorry” you lie.

“No, you don’t. You’ve joined their cause. You became empress of an empire that is ruled by violence and blood” You roll your eyes.

“You know who was in my head when the opportunity presented?” You ask sharply, causing Hanno to remain quiet. “Nessarea and Ajay”

Your statement makes the place turn into eternal silence. He is thinking and it makes you anxious.

“I would do anything to go back to that day and say what I actually wanted…” he doesn’t add more details because is not necessary. “And stop you from leaving”

“I wouldn’t be alive” you answer quickly, opting to not pry about what he wanted to say the day you left. You were unable to fight, and if Rome had attacked with you there, you would’ve died or ended up as a whore, servant or slave. “And my friend with his baby neither”

“Where is she?” Hanno asks with curiosity.

“She settled to the north. Where snow falls in the winter and foreign widows are welcome” With honesty, Hanno felt happiness for the woman and his kid. And that made him feel guilty. Because maybe, deep down, under the ostentatious look you carried, there was the sea foam woman he met. Forced to forget who she was.

“I never asked why you knew all that poetry…” Hanno smirks, ending with a sad smile. “You just know half the truth, y/n”

“That’s why you wanted my attention back at the celebration?” Your voice holds a lot of resentment towards him. Hanno can’t say he doesn’t understand why. But he was also mad at you for becoming a full Roman woman.

“I made you a promise. To always find you no matter what” You walk closer, but as soon as you realize he’s naked underwater, you stop and look away, to the stone wall.

“What’s the point? You’re basically a slave and even if you buy your freedom, I married an emperor” his blood boils. His visible hand forms a fist and it makes you question if he was jealous.

“He doesn’t love you” you chuckle, ignoring your previous shame and taking a seat on the edge of the pool. You would see if you could push some of his buttons.

“Oh, he does love me. He treats me like a queen and always asks for my opinion. He kisses me with adoration and fucks me with devotion…” his jaw tenses at your words and you have to hide your grin.

Both of you are killing each other with your looks. He taps his index finger against the warm edge of the pool, angered. And when you least expect it, his arms come out and drag you down into the water, making you gasp in shock.

He possessively grabs you by the waist and makes you straddle him, colliding with his chest. Your dress and hair are drenched, you feel heavy but you don’t miss the way he was holding you.

And you know it’s sudden but you have to know something.

“Tell me the truth. You’re the missing prince? The son of Lucilla?” you whisper in his lips, he nods, holding your hips in place. “Hanno is not your real name”

“No. My name is Lucius Verus Aurelius” The shock is great, taking you in the curve. “You have to be very careful”

“I don’t care. But I can’t stand looking at you by the arm of that witless man. I don’t the General touching you, I don’t want that emperor claiming you as his” you smirk.

“But I’m not yours…” he leans forward, eyeing you with a deep gaze that makes you shiver.

“You were mine since the day we met” and he kissed you. “I was a fool for not saying how much I loved you”

“What?” You ask, freezing. “What are you saying?”

“That I love you. I always did” he admits proudly, but also slightly shy. “I wanted to make you part of the home I built. Every time I saw you with Ajay and the other kids, I thought of a family with you. I came back after we argued, willing to break my engagement because I wanted to be with you. But you were gone”

It’s too much. You feel the tears rolling down and before you can clean them, Lucius does it.

“Don’t cry, satis. Now I realize it’s all my fault” his broken smile tears your heart, suddenly making you feel disgusted with what you have become. “But is the truth, my dear y/n”

“Damn you, Lucius Verus Aurelius” you curse between sobs, leaning to kiss him again. His hand softly traced your cheek and the other caressed the skin of your hips.

You let him throw the dress to the floor, the heavy wet sound drenching the carpet.

And as Lucius makes love to you, you realize you’ll never let him go. And you’ll hardly see him dying in the arena.

“I’ll come up with something. But we won’t die separated, love” you say before moaning, midway through his deep thrusts.

You realize no one felt the same way he did. No one filled you well enough, no one worshiped you like him.

He rests his forehead against yours, loving the way you looked on top of him, like an actual siren that gave him the luck of a passionate encounter.

Lucius is sure he will win his freedom. He will kill whoever he needs to make you free as well. He has no hopes of seeing you again but he realizes he had you saying his real name like a mantra. And he kisses you, swallowing your loud moan as you came on his cock.

“Gods, I love you, Lucius” you admit sighing, catching your breath and feeling how he spilled his seed deep within your walls.

“I love you too” he admits, kissing your lips with passion, and love and making a mess of saliva. He would’ve wanted to take you under different circumstances. In a bed, in peace, being free…

Soon a guard pokes his head and looks at the floor, keeping his loyal and respectful status clean.

“Your majesty, we must leave now before Emperor Geta suspects…” you sigh, looking back at Lucius.

“Hold on, Bellator meus” Grabbing his chin, trembling at the itchy feeling of his beard, he nods “Promise me to survive”

“Like a star chases the sun. I will always find my way to you, dear y/n” Giving him a quick peck, you get out of the pool. You put on the dress that was almost completely dry again.

“We’ll be together, Lucius” he nods leaning into the edge of the pool. “I know…”

“I’ll come back to see you tomorrow after the games” and with a last look, you reciprocate the smile he gave you and quickly leave the bathhouse.

That night, in his filthy cell, Lucius pleasantly sleeps, with his hand clutching the shell he kept from you. Knowing all of those nights thinking of you and praying to see you again without hope, were worth it.

_________________________________________________________

I need friends who love Paul and Pedro and Gladiator II in general. Specifically on twitter because no one appreciates the shitpost I post there

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