pretty-meris

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My friends teenage pitbutt pitbulled directly into the couch at 90mph

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been reposting my tumblr posts on bluesky. don't tell those chumps i'm feeding them my leftovers lmao

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when theres drama on tumblr but you have no idea whats going on

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I... I don't think the patient's weight got entered correctly. Just a hunch

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ghost hunting team that keep a nonbeliever named steve around as an emergency supernatural suppressant

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I believe in gentle parenting. Unfortunately many people refuse to parent their child at all under the guise of gentle parenting. Sometimes you’ve got to look your fourth grader in the eye and say “Little dude, that was an asshole move.”

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you could spell pennslyvnaia wrong and usually no one notices

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For Pride Month, I would like to throw my very long and pointy green hat in the ring.

[Disclaimer: this is 100% a joke and not a real audition unless you like me, in which case, I am very serious]

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this might be one of the worst things anyones ever said to me

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Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

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Watch me set your world on fire 내 황홀의 취해, you can't look away No one is coming to save you Now we runnin' wild You're down on your knees, I'ma be your idol

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Quick what are you doing RIGHT now (besides scrolling Tumblr)

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did some math based on adventurer's bible stuff about average sizes of tallmen & half-foots & the canon heights of the characters and. chilchuck is the half-foot equivalent of 6'5

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