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I need my nerdy Clark Kent so bad
hii omg i just binged your sang yi fics and I love them!!! If you could write a lil hurt/comfort smut (if you're comfortable) in the goodboy!universe where jeong hyun gets injured and reader bandages him up and there's Tension™ because reader thinks that he's still in love with ha-na BUT HE ISNT AND HE SHOWS READER EXACTLY THIS
after the rain - kim jong-hyeon
kim jong-hyeon x reader
oh a girl’s got to eat 🫣🫣 i think all of u can imagine how good it felt writing this because i’m feral about this man
word count: 2,6k
warnings: SMUT, 18+, blood
requests are open!
You weren’t expecting anyone when the knock came. It was late - past eleven, the rain flattening the city into a blur of silver streaks - and at first you thought you had imagined it, that soft rhythm against the door. Then it came again, slower, more hesitant.
You padded over barefoot, sweater loose on your frame, hair still damp from your shower. When you opened the door, the first thing that hit you was the cold, the sharp smell of wet asphalt - and then him.
Jong‑hyeon stood there, soaked to the bone. His jacket clung to his shoulders, his hair plastered dark over his forehead, glasses long gone. And then your eyes dropped, and you saw the dark stain spreading on his sleeve, the tear in the fabric, the way he held himself upright like someone who’d been running on nothing but will.
Neither of you spoke at first.
“Come in,” you said quietly.
He moved past you, the door closing behind him with a soft click that made the rain outside feel miles away. You guided him to the couch, a hand steady between his shoulder blades, and when he sank down, you knelt in front of him.
“What happened?” you asked. Your voice was soft, but you couldn’t hide the sharpness underneath.
He let out something that might have been a laugh if it hadn’t sounded so thin. “Work,” he said after a pause, his voice rough.
“Work doesn’t usually bleed this much,” you muttered, already standing, already fetching the first-aid kit with your heart drumming fast and uneven.
When you came back, he hadn’t moved. He sat forward slightly, hands loose between his knees, water dripping from his hair onto the floor. It wasn’t until you touched him - lightly - that he looked up, and the look in his eyes made your breath catch. He was worn out, stripped bare, the usual guardedness cracked just enough for everything he tried to hide to show through.
“Take it off,” you said softly.
He let you help him out of his jacket, flinching only once when the fabric snagged. His shirt underneath clung to his skin, showing the bloom of a bruise across his ribs and the shallow cut along his arm.
“We need to clean this,” you murmured.
He nodded without argument. Something about that quiet trust pulled at you.
You worked carefully, cutting away the torn fabric, cleaning the wound with slow, steady movements. He sat still, only a faint catch in his breath when the antiseptic stung. It should have been clinical. It wasn’t. Every time your fingers brushed his skin the air thickened, quieter and closer, until the only sound left was the rain and the thud of your pulse in your ears.
When you tied off the bandage your hands lingered too long, and before you could stop yourself, the words slipped out.
“You always went to her,” you said. Your voice was low, almost lost. “Before. When things were bad.”
The name didn’t have to be said.
He blinked, taken aback, and for a moment all he did was watch you. Then, low and certain: “Not anymore. Not for a long time.”
Something flickered across your face before you could hide it, and he saw it. That unspoken thought you’d carried with you since he joined the team - the shadow of someone else.
His voice was quiet, but not uncertain. “I’m not looking over my shoulder anymore. Not at her.”
Before you could look away, his hand came up, slow and unsure, and brushed against your jaw. His fingers were warm, his touch gentler than you’d ever expected from him.
“I came here because I wanted to,” he said. “Because I wanted you.”
The words sat there between you, heavy, changing everything.
He didn’t pull away, and you found yourself leaning in without meaning to. The first kiss was barely there, a cautious brush, the faintest press of lips. The second was deeper, and the sound he made - a shaky, unguarded exhale - pulled you closer. You kissed him again and felt your balance tip forward until you were kneeling between his thighs, your hands on his abdomen.
You traced the bruise along his ribs with your fingertips, feather-light.
"Does this hurt?"
He shook his head, but his jaw was tight. You knew him well enough to recognize the lie.
Instead of calling him on it, you leaned down and pressed your lips to the discolored skin. His stomach tensed under your mouth, his fingers tightening in your hair. You kissed lower, down the plane of his abdomen, and felt the muscles there jump.
His hands found your hair as you moved even lower, your lips brushing each bruise, each scrape, as if you could kiss the pain away. When you reached the waistband of his pants, you hesitated only for a second before undoing the button, sliding the zipper down.
He let out a slow breath as you eased his jeans over his hips, his cock already half-hard under his briefs. You mouthed at him through the fabric, and his fingers tightened in your hair - not pushing, just holding.
The sight of him was mouthwatering. When you finally took him into your mouth, he groaned, low and rough, his head tipping back against the couch, adam’s apple bobbing sharply.
You worked him slowly, your tongue flat against the underside of his cock, your lips tight around him. His hips jerked once, involuntarily, but he caught himself, his grip on your hair softening in apology.
"Fuck," he breathed. "You feel-"
You hummed around him, and his thighs tensed.
You took your time, savoring the weight of him on your tongue, the way his breath came quicker the deeper you went. When his fingers tightened again, you glanced up and found him watching you, his lips parted, his chest rising and falling unevenly.
"Come here," he rasped.
You pulled off with a wet sound, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. He tugged you up, his kiss messy, desperate, his tongue sliding against yours like he was chasing the taste of himself.
His hands, trembling slightly, slid up your sides, fingers pressing into the softness of your sweater like he was memorizing the shape of you.
You shifted closer, one knee pressing into the couch beside his thigh, and his grip tightened, pulling you fully into his lap. A low sound escaped him when your hips settled against his, and you felt the hard heat of him through the fabric of your soaked-through panties. The feeling of it sent a shiver down your spine.
"You should rest," you murmured against his lips, even as your fingers curled into his damp hair.
He exhaled, rough and amused. "Not what I'm thinking about right now."
His hands slid under your sweater, palms warm against the bare skin of your waist, and you shuddered. The way he touched you - firm but hesitant - made your chest ache.
You pulled back just enough to look at him. His lips were parted, his eyes dark and searching. There was a question there, one he wouldn't voice.
So you answered it by lifting your sweater over your head and letting it drop to the floor.
His breath hitched. His gaze traced the slope of your shoulders, the curve of your breasts, the quick rise and fall of your ribs. For a moment, he just looked, as if he was trying to commit every detail to memory. Then his hands were on you again, sliding up your back, pulling you flush against him.
"Bed," you managed between kisses.
He didn't argue.
You guided him to your bedroom and down onto the mattress, climbing over him carefully, mindful of his ribs. He reached for you as soon as you settled, his hands cupping your breasts, palms warm against your skin as his fingers played with your nipples.
You gasped as his thumbs circled the sensitive peaks, your back arching into his touch. His mouth followed, lips closing around one nipple while his fingers teased the other. The dual sensation sent sparks down your spine, and your hips rocked against him instinctively, seeking friction.
He groaned against your skin, his hands sliding down to grip your waist, holding you steady as he rolled his hips up to meet yours. The heat between your legs was unbearable now, your panties soaked through.
"Off," you breathed, fingers tugging at the waistband of his briefs. He lifted his hips, letting you strip him bare, and then his hands were on your thighs, pushing your panties down with impatient urgency.
The moment your skin met his, you both shuddered. His cock pressed hot and heavy against your stomach, and you reached between you, wrapping your fingers around him, stroking slowly. His breath came ragged, his grip on your hips tightening.
"Fuck," he muttered, his head falling back against the pillows. "You're gonna kill me."
You smiled, leaning down to kiss him again, slow and deep, before shifting your hips. The tip of him brushed against you, and you both moaned at the contact.
"Look at me," you whispered.
His eyes - dark, hungry - locked onto yours as you sank down onto him, taking him inch by inch. The stretch was delicious, the fullness making your thighs tremble. His hands slid up your sides, thumbs brushing the undersides of your breasts as you began to move.
Slow at first, savoring the way he filled you, the way his breath hitched every time you rolled your hips. Then faster, harder, your nails digging into his chest as pleasure coiled tight in your stomach.
His hands gripped your hips, guiding your movements, his own hips lifting to meet yours with every thrust. The sound of skin against skin, his ragged breaths, your soft whimpers - it was overwhelming, intoxicating. "I’m close," he gritted out, his fingers tightening.
You nodded, your own climax building, the pressure unbearable. One of his hands slipped between your bodies, thumb circling your clit, and that was all it took.
You came with a cry, your body clamping around him, waves of pleasure crashing through you. He followed with a groan, his hips jerking up as he spilled inside you, his fingers digging into your skin like he was afraid you'd disappear.
For a long moment, neither of you moved, both breathing hard, sweat-slicked skin pressed together. Then, carefully, you collapsed against his chest, mindful of his injuries. His arms wrapped around you, holding you close, his lips pressing against your hair.
The rain still pattered against the window, the city still blurred beyond the glass. But here, in the quiet of your bedroom, tangled together-everything felt sharp, real, right.
The rain had quieted by the time you drifted off, its steady patter against the window fading into the background as warmth pulled you both under.
You woke to something softer.
The first thing you felt was his hand, heavy but not unwelcome, resting low on your waist. Then the slow rhythm of his breathing, deep and even, his chest rising and falling beneath your cheek. For a moment you stayed perfectly still, unsure if you dared to move.
Your apartment was quiet except for the faint drip of water somewhere outside. Pale morning light spilled across the room, cutting the edges off the night.
You tilted your head slightly, just enough to look up.
He was still asleep.
Without the tension in his face, he looked different - less like the Jong‑hyeon you knew from work, the man who always kept his guard up, and more like someone you’d never been allowed to see before. His hair was a mess against the pillow, a dark fringe falling over his brow. You almost reached out to brush it back, but you stopped yourself, your fingers curling instead into the sheet.
It would be so easy to pretend nothing had changed. To pretend the way you’d touched him, the way he’d held you, hadn’t shifted the ground beneath you.
You turned your head back against his chest. The scent of him was all around you, faintly clean beneath the lingering traces of rain and something warmer that had nothing to do with the weather.
At some point, he stirred.
You felt it before you saw it - the slow tightening of his arm, the faint drag of his breath as he blinked awake.
For a moment, he was still, as if his mind had to catch up to where he was. Then he looked down, eyes half‑lidded but clear, and there was something so unguarded in the way he watched you that you had to look away.
“Morning,” you murmured, your voice scratchy.
He made a low sound that could have been agreement, his chin dipping slightly. “Mm.”
It wasn’t much, but it made something warm flicker low in your chest.
You shifted, thinking to get up, but his hand tightened - not forceful, just steady. “Stay,” he said, voice rough with sleep.
You stayed.
For a long time, the two of you lay there, letting the daylight creep across the room. You could feel the warmth of him through every inch of where you were pressed against his side.
It wasn’t until much later that you finally moved, slowly, untangling yourself from the sheets. You slipped on the oversized sweater you’d abandoned the night before, the fabric soft and smelling faintly of him, and padded to the kitchen.
He joined you not long after, barefoot, hair even more of a mess than before.
The kitchen felt smaller with him in it.
You made coffee, and he leaned against the counter, watching the kettle like it was the most interesting thing in the world. You tried not to stare at the way he looked in the soft light, at the faint marks your hands and mouth had left on his skin.
When you handed him a mug, his fingers brushed yours and lingered just a second longer than necessary.
“Thanks,” he said simply.
You shrugged, though your pulse was loud in your ears. “You don’t have to thank me for coffee.”
“Not just for that,” he said quietly.
It silenced you, and for a moment all you could do was stand there, holding your own mug, the steam curling between you.
Breakfast was simple: toast, coffee, an egg each. The silence wasn’t awkward. It was easy in a way that surprised you, like you had both slipped into something unspoken.
Every now and then, you caught him looking at you over the rim of his mug. Not with expectation. Just looking, like he was memorizing the sight of you in the early light.
When the plates were cleared, he reached for his jacket by the door. You noticed the way his movement was careful, the stiffness in his ribs.
“You should rest,” you said softly.
He glanced over his shoulder at you, one hand paused on the jacket, and then - without a word - he left it there and crossed back to the bed.
You hesitated, then followed.
This time, there was no hesitation when he lifted the blanket for you.
As you settled beside him, his arm came around you again. You rested your head against him, and his thumb traced an idle line over the back of your hand, slow and absentminded.
“You’re warm,” he said after a long pause, the words so simple they made your throat ache.
You smiled against his shoulder. “You should get used to it.”
For a while, the city went on outside the window, but you stayed in that cocoon of quiet, the morning stretching out around you.
And though nothing more was said, the thought lingered between you, unspoken but steady: neither of you really wanted to leave.
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in love w ur jong-hyeon x reader fics!! i haven’t even finished the show yet but i cant help myself from indulging 😭 i’d love to see more if you still wanted to write for him, maybe smthn like later in the au of ‘difficult’ where him and reader are in a more established relationship and we see their dynamic at work among the rest of the team 🥹 dong-ju would so be a menace and tease the shit out of jong-hyeon 💀
difficult III - kim jong-hyeon
kim jong-hyeon x reader
you can find the first part here, second part here
i loved writing this!! just a quiet, happy relationship…. and dong-ju
word count: 1,7k
requests are open!
You’d long since stopped thinking about how strange it might look from the outside.
Months had passed since that fever-heavy week when the line between you and Jong‑hyeon blurred into something that neither of you had bothered to redraw. Now it was just… this. Whatever this was. The rhythm of it had sunk into the background of your life so deeply that you no longer noticed its shape.
It was easy to forget that anyone else might.
You still drove to work together every morning, the city half-asleep around you, the car quiet but never uncomfortable. The radio was always low, and he always checked - without saying anything - if you had your phone, your ID, your lunch. His hand would brush yours when he passed the thermos from the cupholder, and the only sign he was awake that early would be the faint twitch of a smirk if he caught you glaring at the traffic. Even on the days when he dropped you at the entrance of the auditors’ office and disappeared to his own division, there was something about the unspoken routine that had rooted itself into both your lives.
You never made an announcement about it. No one ever sat you down and asked. It was yours. Quiet, private, ordinary.
It couldn’t stay invisible forever.
It started with the car.
One frosted morning, Dong‑ju had been leaning against the rail outside the building with a coffee in hand, killing time before a briefing, when he spotted the two of you stepping out of the same car. He froze halfway to a sip, watching as Jong‑hyeon automatically reached across to hand you your bag, as if he’d done it a thousand times before. You said something he must have found ridiculous because he shook his head, eyes narrowing but the corner of his mouth almost lifting, and you laughed, the sound cutting through the bitter cold like it didn’t belong there.
Dong‑ju blinked like he’d just been handed the first clue in an unsolved case.
“Carpool?” he asked when you reached him.
“Efficient,” you said lightly, brushing past as if that was the end of it.
It wasn’t.
The next morning, he was there again. Waiting. He didn’t even pretend this time, just raised his brows when you and Jong‑hyeon got out of the same car.
“Same direction again, huh?”
“Shocking,” you said without breaking stride.
By the third day, he was openly smirking as you crossed the lot, holding the door like some kind of gatekeeper.
And by the end of the week, he had stopped pretending it was coincidence.
After that, it was like something clicked for him.
Dong‑ju became relentless.
The coffees came next.
The first time he caught you, you were balancing two cups as you pushed the elevator button. He appeared out of nowhere, eyes wide and glinting like a magpie that had just spotted something shiny.
“Two?”
“One of them’s for me,” you said, stepping inside.
“And the other?”
You glanced at him. “Do I need to account for my caffeine habits to you?”
He grinned. “Only when they’re suspicious.”
When he caught Jong‑hyeon a few days later walking in with two cups of his own, Dong‑ju almost dropped his phone in triumph.
Then there were the texts.
Every time he walked past your department, you had your phone out. Sometimes smiling, sometimes just frowning at whatever he’d sent you. He took to leaning on the doorframe, head tilted.
“Who’s got you looking like that?”
“No one,” you said, not even looking up.
“Doesn’t look like no one.”
“You’re very nosy for someone on a different floor.”
“And you’re very evasive for someone answering their boss’s texts.”
You didn’t dignify that with an answer.
By the second week, he had developed a theory.
He started timing his lunch breaks with yours, wandering into the canteen like he wasn’t scoping out a crime scene. Sure enough, there you were, every day, same table, corner seat, your trays angled toward each other like some quiet barrier. Even when you weren’t talking, there was something about the way you both occupied the same space that looked… settled. Easy. As if you’d been doing this for years.
“Not very social of you,” he commented once, sliding into the seat opposite without an invitation.
“We’re eating,” you said.
“You always eat together?”
“Yes,” Jong‑hyeon said simply, barely looking up from his rice.
Dong‑ju stared between you, waiting for more. There wasn’t any.
The next day, he came by again.
And the next.
Sometimes he just watched you. Sometimes he needled. And sometimes he was quiet long enough to make you think he’d finally given up - until he dropped another comment.
“You know,” he said one day, halfway through chewing, “if this was a TV show, people would be betting money on you two.”
“Good thing it’s not,” you said.
He hummed like he didn’t believe you.
And always, when you left at night, he was there, pretending to make a call or tie his shoe just to see it - the hand Jong‑hyeon placed automatically at your back, the way you walked together without needing to match your steps, the casual rhythm of something that didn’t need to be named.
By the time a month had passed, he was climbing the walls.
Which was probably why he showed up at your apartment on a Friday night with a bag of take‑out, like a man who had run out of patience.
The knock made you pause in the kitchen, spatula in hand. Jong‑hyeon, hair still damp from the shower, looked at you from the hallway like, Are we expecting someone?
You weren’t.
When you opened the door, Dong‑ju was there, grinning like a fox.
“I brought food,” he said, already pushing inside.
“Do you know what boundaries are?”
“I was bored,” he said cheerfully. “And curious. And nobody’s talking to me at work, which means I have to take matters into my own hands.”
“Leave,” came Jong‑hyeon’s voice from down the hall, dry as winter.
“I brought tteokbokki,” Dong‑ju announced, shaking the bag like a flag of truce.
That was how he ended up cross-legged on your living room floor twenty minutes later, unpacking containers while you plated everything. He sat there like he owned the place, head swiveling, eyes catching on every domestic trace in the apartment: the slippers lined up by the door, the mugs drying on the rack, the stack of mail with both of your names in the corner.
“So,” he said, leaning back on his hands, “this is the setup. Pretty cozy. Very… couple-y.”
“Don’t touch anything,” Jong‑hyeon said, leaning on the arm of the couch.
“You know,” Dong‑ju said between bites, “the two of you have been doing a terrible job of keeping this secret.”
“We weren’t keeping anything,” you said.
“You think coming to work together, having lunch together every day, bringing each other coffee-” he gestured wildly with his chopsticks, “-wasn’t going to get noticed?”
You just kept eating.
“Unbelievable,” he muttered, turning to Jong‑hyeon. “And you! Not even a denial? I spent weeks gathering evidence!”
Jong‑hyeon just shrugged.
“That’s it?” Dong‑ju asked. “That’s your confession? A shrug?”
“Yes,” Jong‑hyeon said simply.
There was a silence so heavy you could hear the hum of the refrigerator. Then Dong‑ju groaned and dropped his head back.
“I hate you,” he said, but there was no heat in it.
“Good,” Jong‑hyeon replied.
And for the first time in weeks, Dong‑ju was quiet.
When you finally handed him a bag of leftovers and pushed him out the door an hour later, the apartment felt like it exhaled. You leaned against the closed door, eyes closed for a second, before looking over at Jong‑hyeon.
“That’s the last time he invites himself in,” you said.
“He’ll live,” he said, still in that calm way that made everything sound inevitable.
You crossed to him, wrapping your arms around his waist, feeling the tension in his shoulders ease just slightly as he rested his chin on your head.
“I thought you’d hate this coming out,” you murmured.
“I don’t care,” he said simply.
“You don’t care if he tells everyone?”
“No,” he said, and tilted his head to look down at you. “They’d figure it out eventually.”
There was something in the steadiness of it that made your chest feel light.
“We never really told anyone about us,” you said softly. “Do you think it matters?”
He brushed a hand against the side of your neck, warm and unhurried. “No. It’s ours. It doesn’t need to be anyone else’s.”
Later, when the food was put away and the dishes rinsed, you ended up on the couch under a blanket. The television murmured in the background, but you weren’t really watching. You were stretched against him, your head on his shoulder, his arm resting lazily across your middle.
He didn’t talk much, and you didn’t need him to. You just let yourself sink into the weight of him beside you, into the small things - the way his thumb moved in absent-minded circles against your hip, the way his heartbeat felt steady where your hand had found his chest, the way the whole apartment seemed quieter now that it was just you again.
Eventually, he reached for the book he’d left on the table, opened it, and then didn’t read a word. You smiled against his sleeve.
“Jong‑hyeon?”
“Mhm.”
“You know he’s never going to stop teasing you, right?”
“I can handle it,” he said.
“I think he was actually hurt when you didn’t tell him first.”
A low hum in his chest. “He’ll survive.”
You laughed quietly, turning so you could see him. His glasses were gone again, his hair still a little mussed from the shower, his face softened in a way that made you forget the walls he usually kept around him.
For a long moment, neither of you said anything.
And then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, you leaned in to kiss him.
The city hummed outside your window, but in here, everything was steady, and quiet, and yours.
#this is SO him btw#also dongju u little mutt#kim jong-hyeon#kim jong hyeon x reader#good boy x reader
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It reminded me of that line from 'crash landing on you' which goes "makes me sad and happy to know that when I die there's someone who'll grieve for me" when he took his last breath in her arms, oh and the way he looked at her
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i should have never touched kdramas because my standards are unrealistically high
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Me searching x reader fics after gaining a new fictional crush after watching a movie/serie

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Helloooooooo my love. First of all, happy new year! (although it's coming a week late, sorry about that) I hope this year is filled with love and joy for you!!
Secondly, piggybacking off your last reblog, yes desi weddings are so elaborate ahhh!!! I loved the whole experience despite how exhausting and stressful it was as the sister of the bride. there's pre-wedding events, a week long wedding and then the post-wedding events so yeah nearly two months of dedicated wedding festivities lmfao but it was SOOO fun and I'm moving overseas in a few weeks so I definitely had a winter for the books.
NOWWWWWWW, I'm going to be honest, I couldn't help myself and I gave myself some sneak peeks from all the chapters uploaded because every time I get the notification I get SO excited and lemme just say - YOU COOKED AND I HAVE MASSIVE THOUGHTS
You thought you finally found Daemon when you heard Caraxes was in the dragon pit, and so you run there, run, much to the protest of Arryk, who was hot on your heels. He managed to convince you to slow down by telling you that you would eventually get to the dragon pit if you walked, but you would never get there if you pass out.
Oh god, breaking my heart already. Daemon, I can't stand you at times ughhhhhh. What will it take for my poor girl to not have to beg for someone to love her and be considerate to her.
You nod, placing a hand on your chest. You do a walking motion with your fingers towards Caraxes.
This is either going to end horribly or wonderfully and I don't know how to feel about either.
...while he is distracted from trying to figure out what you were doing, you circle behind your knight and sneak past both, making a beeline towards Caraxes.
GIRL NO!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE STOP TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF EVERY OTHER CHAPTER FOR THE SAKE OF MY WELLBEING
Amidst the peril of it all, you are calm as you look up at Daemon's companion. It stems from the truth that it would be far less complicated and less painful to be eaten by a dragon than to tell your husband you are with child and deliver it.
And there goes my heart again...I'm so mad at Daemon and the chapter has only just begun. I can't get over just how scared she is of telling Daemon about the baby because he will probably accuse her of incest (which would be so fucking ironic HAH) even though deep down he knows she never did any of that he's just emotionally constipated AS HELL. Even Caraxes is going to be done with his ass
In truth, you think your heart might be impaired, because it doesn't race at all as the beast seemingly imposes upon you. He cannot seem to stop pacing around you, as if he was restless, anxious even.
Alexa play "I Think He Knows" by Taylor Swift
You feel bad, for it seems... you've upset him, "apologies... I was hoping you'd eat me."
😭😭😭 STOPPPPP PLEASE SPARE ME
"HEY!" Arryk screams, thinking he can distract Caraxes. He can't, and he is losing his mind. Hoes not know what to do but to shout your name in terror. He can't help but draw his sword and immediately the dragon keeper is yelling something, motioning that he stop.
Help, I know this is a deeply serious moment but I can't help but laugh at the fact that Arryk whipped out his sword to defend himself against CARAXES
"Gods be good," you mumble as you gaze upon the creatures scales, "you can smell him, can't you? Daemon?"
OH MY GOD CARAXES CAN SENSE DAEMONS BABY IN HER TUMMY WE'VE GOT MEDIEVAL DNA TEST SOMEBODY GET DAEMON HERE
"It would have been better if you made me a snack," you mumble against him, feeling your tears drip.
caraxes and reader's bestie arc better start NOW
"He shoved her back and she fell!" he explains, "that's why her nose is bloody."
Oh my god Arryk stop tattling on my boy Caraxes like that. He was just trying to show some affection and protectiveness!!! It's not his fault that years of bonding with daemon also turned him a little dense and emotionally constipated like his master
"Perhaps she might get strong enough to grant you a child," he clenches his jaw, "maybe once the gods have granted you a boy or girl, you will understand my grief." Viserys motions with a nod, "you are to return to your lady wife with no quarrel. Take him out of my sight."
The way I 100% believe that the foundation of the brothers' relationship is that daemon will ALWAYS do the exact opposite of viserys tells him so the fact that he told daemon to return to his lady wife, it will lead him to run as far away from her as possible (aka stepstones)
Daemon seals you into an embrace and the warmth of his body quickly seeps onto your much colder one. A shiver runs down your spine. You immediately wrap your arms around him and nuzzle your face into his chest. He mimics you, brushing his cheek against your hair, taking in the faint smell of citrus. He remembers what his brother said and repeats it, "ñuha mijegindita ābrazȳrys." My poor wife.
THIS SCENE MAKES ME WANT TO CRADLE MY HEAD IN MY HANDS AND WEEP BECAUSE WHAT THEY COULDVE BEEN IF DAEMON WASNT SO DENSE AND THICK AND STUPID AND UGHHHHHHH
Daemon sighs, "he must have smelled me on you and got excited."
you're so stupid
The voice of his brother rings in his mind. Do you carry such low regard of him just as he? "Why can't it be me?" he snaps, "you think I will be of no help?"
Daemon "I can never comprehend someone being genuinely concerned for me because I never had a mother, I don't remember my father's love and my brother was an even bigger emotionally constipated idiot who can't show me love so I'm going to mistake your love for you doubting my capabilities" targaryen
You cut him off by reaching for his legs. He is frozen in place as you embrace him from where you knelt on the floor.
This is so tragic I've started crying again...
Cannot leave you? He does not like the way you imply he would be unable to if he wanted. Daemon watches you as you slowly bring yourself up to a stand. He does not help you as you pull yourself up using his legs and waist.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I NEED THIS FUCKER TO RECEIVE THERAPY FROM BRAAVOS OR WHATEVER BECAUSE HIS UNRESOLVED CHILDHOOD TRAUMA AND THE LACK OF PARENTAL LOVE HE RECEIVED IS GOING TO DESTROY THE MC AND I CANNOT STAND FOR IT I WILL DIE
"because I love you."
and im dead. im gone.
"you are mistaken."
"I love you" "It'll pass"
"I do not feel the same," he mutters.
FUCK YOU FUCK THE WHOLE TSRGARYEN DYNASTY YOU FILTHY LYING WHORE OF A DRAGON RIDER GO FUCK MYSARIA IN A WIG AND CALL OUT YOUR WIFES NAME AND TELL HER YOU WANT HER BECAUSE YOURE TOO SCARED TO SAY IT TO YOUR WIFE AND GO TO THE SHITTY STEPSTONES SURROUNDED BY NOTHING BUT UGLY LOOKING PIRATES FOR THREE WHOLE YEARS WITH SHITTY FOOD AND SHITTY WINE KJHGRRYVHBEBN LTLV
You nod, "I know."
Author, did you reach inside my brain and find the worst ways to hurt me? BECAUSE THIS HURTS OKAY
BUT IT ALSO FEELS SO GOOD??? WHYS THE ANGST YOU WRITE SO FUCKING GOOD??? IM IN LITERAL TEARS OVER THESE TWO, THE WAY DAEMON MADE HER BEG FOR HIM TO STAY AND IT WAS STILL NOT ENOUGH THE PARALLELS OF HER SAYING IT NEVER SERVES HER WELL ASKING SOMEONE TO STAY
If you're wondering how I'm doing at the end of this, then imagine this - IM IN TEARS and contemplating my existence. But I cannot atop praising you for how GOOD this chapter was. It hit right the spot. Thank youuuuu for yet another masterpiece <3
Tormented Spirit | 10
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, DD:DNE, panic/anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: GUYS ITS STILL TOO FUCKING LONG I HAD TO CUT IT AGAIN T_T blah blah canon stuff/high valyrian inaccurate blah. please please leave comments/reblogs because they really help me with the fic. | cross posted on ao3
@arabellasleopardcoat @prettybiching @myllovellybones
Daemon does not come home to you that night. When you awaken, you feel sick to your stomach. The thought of food repulsive though, so you spend the morning looking for your husband, until your body betrays you and feels sick because of not having eaten. You realize that your state is not borne simply from worrying about the prince, but probably also because of this supposed life you carried within you.
You try to deny it though, chalking it up to your mind playing tricks on you. After all, it's laughable that you suddenly experienced these symptoms just after all the fuss of learning you were with child.
You thought you finally found Daemon when you heard Caraxes was in the dragon pit, and so you run there, run, much to the protest of Arryk, who was hot on your heels. He managed to convince you to slow down by telling you that you would eventually get to the dragon pit if you walked, but you would never get there if you pass out.
You'd never been so happy to see the blood wyrm.
"Daemon?" you call out, searching for him.
Caraxes is busy feasting on meat and Arryk is busy watching him, body tense and senses on high alert.
The dragon keeper comes to you, shaking his head, "se dārilaros iksis daor kesīr dombo." The prince is not here anymore.
You understood nothing, save dārilaros, which you knew meant prince, and figure he's probably telling you he is not here, which you could gather from simple observation.
You turn to Caraxes and point, "zaldrīzes." Dragon.
The man brightens, as he understands, "Caraxes."
You nod, placing a hand on your chest. You do a walking motion with your fingers towards Caraxes.
His eyes widen and he shakes his head and hands.
You clench your jaw and turn to Caraxes, nodding your head in understanding.
The dragon keeper relaxes.
He mistakes you.
"Arryk," you turn to your ward, "can you come here please?"
Arryk's eyes linger on the dragon a moment before turning to you. You settle him in front of the dragon keeper, and while he is distracted from trying to figure out what you were doing, you circle behind your knight and sneak past both, making a beeline towards Caraxes.
The dragon notices you immediately and watches you near. He lifts his head and sniffs the air, and only then do the two men realize what's happening.
"PRINCESS!" Arryk shouts, sprinting towards you before coming to an abrupt stop.
Enraged, Caraxes cranes his long neck, roaring at Arryk, making him topple back on his bum.
The dragon keeper screams a command and raises his hands.
Amidst the peril of it all, you are calm as you look up at Daemon's companion. It stems from the truth that it would be far less complicated and less painful to be eaten by a dragon than to tell your husband you are with child and deliver it.
The red creature screeches as snaps his teeth at the two men, causing his keeper to step back and Arryk to crawl back with him.
Caraxes then averts his attention, shaking his head as he circles around you, effectively blocking the two from seeing anything other than his massive, scaly body.
In truth, you think your heart might be impaired, because it doesn't race at all as the beast seemingly imposes upon you. He cannot seem to stop pacing around you, as if he was restless, anxious even.
Your face contorts at the bleating sound it makes. He lowers his head slightly inhaling and exhaling deeply. He makes another noise and you swear to yourself, the creature looks like he's fidgeting.
You feel bad, for it seems... you've upset him, "apologies... I was hoping you'd eat me."
Caraxes screams loudly again when he spots two other dragon keepers come to you from the other side. He threatens them with a snap of his teeth.
"Daor!" they scream in unison. No.
Caraxes seethes and screeches, as if saying, 'do not tell me what to do'.
He circles around you again, and this time, he shoves you forward with his wing. You yelp as you are knocked to the ground with a thud. You manage to brace yourself, grazing your hands as you did, but your chest still hurts at the impact.
The keepers scream in horror because of this, fearing that you would soon be eaten.
"HEY!" Arryk screams, thinking he can distract Caraxes. He can't, and he is losing his mind. Hoes not know what to do but to shout your name in terror. He can't help but draw his sword and immediately the dragon keeper is yelling something, motioning that he stop.
You whine as you roll on your side. Caraxes growls as he bites your arm. The fear finally sets in as he does this, and his powerful maw pulls you up to sitting position.
The dragon keeper, who ran to retrieve you, shrieks out upon witnessing this.
You gasp when Caraxes roars back, and you squeal when his wing comes over you. The strangest thing occurs to you in that moment, and your heart finally begins to race— not because it sinks in how much danger you were in, but because, suddenly, you knew you were not.
You come to a stand, and with no regard for your safety, you reach out for the dragon's skin, somehow shocked by how warm and hard it is. "Caraxes."
He hears you, though you barely raised your voice. He is sensitive to the sound of his name. Caraxes moves back, pulling away enough to be able to coil his neck and look at you.
The dragon keepers, who were so on edge, altogether fall silent when they see you in the midst of the blood wrym.
Arryk nearly broke into a other sprint upon finally seeing you, but he manages to hold back and lowers his sword, unwilling to sheathe it.
Caraxes produces a sound you think is akin to a mewl, as much as a mewl a ten foot beast could make. You huff and feel your breath hitch. You close your eyes and reach out to him, ready to accept whichever fate awaits you, companionship or death.
You gasp, eyes instantly opening when you feel the wetness on your hands. Caraxes presses his snout to your palms, and you squeak, quickly pulling back at the heat of his huff.
He lifts his head and begins to pace around again. You are certain now that the beast was, in fact, restless.
"Paez ilagon!" you exclaim, raising your hands at him.
Caraxes huffs, debating if he should heed your command.
"Paez ilagon," slow down, you repeat as the dragon fully faces you.
You, and everyone else who witnesses it, are shocked that Caraxes listens. He quits his pacing and slowly comes to a halt, looming over you.
Your lips wobble, humbled by the idea such a fearsome creature would obey the commands of such a pathetic being. You begin to weep, as Caraxes lowers his head, sniffing you. Your hands dart out to him when he gets too close. You slightly topple when he nudges you with his snout. You feel the warmth of his breath seeping through your dress as he brushes against you. You can tell he is trying his best to be gentle, but even then he is too strong that you have to repel him. He makes the faintest of sounds.
"Gods be good," you mumble as you gaze upon the creatures scales, "you can smell him, can't you? Daemon?"
Caraxes remains pressed against you a moment longer.
You sniffle and momentarily fantasize about the child growing within you. You lean into him in defeat, "you silly thing."
His throat emits a low rumble.
"It would have been better if you made me a snack," you mumble against him, feeling your tears drip.
Caraxes slowly lowers his head until he is laid on the floor. You remain leaned on him for a moment, and then you pull away with a sigh. You look upon the dragon, thinking he is so much like his rider, and stroke his cheek one last time before pulling away.
You walk towards the dragon keeper you had blindsided and lower your head in shame, speaking the word you had learned for Daemon, "usōvegon." Apologies.
He stares at you for a moment, taking in your now messy hair and dirtied face, and replies with something you do not understand.
You nod at him without meeting his eyes then hurriedly walk off. Arryk is quick to follow after you, and his skidding makes Caraxes screech at him. He flinches at the sound, looking behind him warily. You do not.
When Arryk finally catches up to you, he takes your arm and calls out your name. He is alarmed by the red smeared down your philtrum and cheek.
"Forgive me," you mutter, unable to meet his gaze. You do not stop walking, "I- I was overcome... I did not think of anything but myself. I did not mean to cause anyone such immense distress."
"What were you trying to do?" Arryk quips, taking in your dirtied face. He did not know if it would be appropriate to wipe it with his cloak.
You shake your head, still unable to look at him.
"Princess," Arryk speaks like a plea, "did you know Caraxes would not hurt you?"
You gulp, quickening you pace.
Arryk huffs in frustration, calling out your name.
He forces you to stop by dashing forward, coming in front of you. You look up at him, eyes teary and mouth parted.
"I beg you," he clenches his fists, before succumbing to his urges. He grabs his cloak and wipes your face, brushing the dirt and blood as neatly as he can, "please tell me you did not knowingly put yourself in danger."
The tears running down your face help him clean you off. You honestly say, "I don't know if I should tell you."
Arryk is heart broken. He clenches his jaw tightly and releases his hold on you. He steps aside and you begin walking again.
You feel awful as you look at him. He is sullen as he walks beside you. You wipe your nose on your sleeve, "apologies, Arryk."
He shakes his head and opens his mouth. His jaw hangs for a moment, but then he closes his mouth, saying nothing.
You turn to your side when you hear your name called.
Alicent, who was making her way to the king's quarters, runs up you, eyes widening at the blood on your face. The red had spread as it mixed with your tears. She quickly pulls out her handkerchief, "your nose is bleeding!"
Your eyes widen, as you did not know this, but you quickly take her wrist and slowly pull away, "it is nothing."
"What happened to her, ser?" Alicent turns to Arryk.
Arryk is eager to tattle, "she was at the dragon pit and-"
"I fell," you cut him off, blocking your sister's gaze upon your ward, "I-"
"You fell in the dragon pit?!" she bristles further. Your feigning backfired. "What did Daemon do?!"
"The prince is nowhere to be seen," Arryk scoffs.
"I was- am looking for him!" you blurt
"Caraxes nearly attacked her," Arryk adds.
"Arryk!" you whip your head to him then back to your sister, "he did not!"
"He shoved her back and she fell!" he explains, "that's why her nose is bloody."
Alicent calls your name as you call Arryk's.
Your sister takes your shoulders, eyes immediately watering, "did you want to get hurt, sister?"
Your jaw slacks, "I- I-"
"Does Daemon posses you to do such things?" your baby sister begins to cry.
You shake your head rapidly, "no! No. I swear to you, this has nothing to do with him."
"Then what?" Alicent asks with a broken voice.
You gasp for air and feel a shiver run down your spine. You cannot tell her the truth, so you explain instead, "my nose already bled yesterday, which is why it's bleeding now."
"What?!"
"I already fainted yesterday and fell quite hard, which is why my nose is bleeding again."
"Mother, please," Alicent whispers.
"Alicent, I swear to you, you need not-"
"How could you let this happen to her twice?" Alicent turns to Arryk.
Arryk lowers his head, "I have failed-"
"I snuck behind him," you blurt, "do not fault him for my impulsiveness."
Alicent's heart is crush as she watches you wipe your face.
"It is not Arryk's fault that my nose is bloody. It is neither Caraxes fault for shoving me. It is mine. My body is weak and I have spent all day looking for my husband, against the behest of my maester."
Alicent clenches her jaw. It is Daemon's fault.
"I will go to the maesters' ward and submit to whatever is prescribed to me," you place a hand on her shoulder. You sniffle, "do not speak to father of this."
"Make sure to go to the maester's then," you sister warns.
Dejected, you look away and walk off.
Alicent takes in a breath before grabbing her skirts, marching over to the king's quarters.
Viserys is in the middle of gluing his diorama of King's Landing when he hears a knock on the door, "come in."
Alicent enters, sighing deeply before pulling a smile.
"Alicent," his blank expression slightly lightens.
She curtsies, "your highness," and walks over to him. She turns her attention to whatever it was the king was building.
Viserys shows raises a block, "a new tower."
Alicent smiles softly, "pretty."
The king raises a brow upon noticing the stiffness to her demeanor, "is everything alright?"
Alicent betrays herself on purpose by nodding her head too quickly.
Viserys puts the tower down. He reaches for her arm, "what's wrong, my girl."
She takes a sharp breath, "my sister—"
He furrows his brows.
"—she... she has a bloody nose from falling."
"She fell?"
"Twice," Alicent fidgets with her hands, honest agitation for her sister taking over her, "because she's been looking for Daemon."
His reaction to the name is instant. Viserys' jaw clenches and his fists ball in anger, "Daemon."
Daemon struts down the great hall, making his way towards the Iron Throne. The night was now deep and the few candles lit in the room only increased the tension between the brothers.
The prince looks up at the king. The king and two kingsguard stationed on either side of the throne look down at him. Viserys clenches his sword, "and where have you been?"
Daemon scoffs, aimlessly looking around, "have you summoned me to nag?" He clasps his hand in front of him, leaning on one foot, "I already have a wife for that."
His brother laughs, hard. It echoes across the hall, but it is by no means genuine, "I would not have ever known with all the time you waste in brothels."
Daemon grinds his teeth, face contorting, "so you've summoned me to reb-"
"Did you say it?" Viserys snaps.
"... what?"
"An heir for a day— did you say it?!"
"..."
The king's nostrils flare.
"... we must all mourn in our own way, your grace."
Viserys sighs, lowering his head in defeat for a second, then erupts, "MY FAMILY HAS BEEN DESTROYED!" He seethes, "and instead of staying at mine, or Rhaenyra's side you celebrate your own rise with your whores and your lickspittles!
"And wife," he scoffs, "your poor wife... do you even know that your mount has injured her?"
Daemon stiffens.
"She came to the pit looking for you and the beast caused her a bloody nose."
"What?"
"You chose her Daemon. And in choosing her you prove time and time again, I bend to your desires only to be repaid with disrespect. You have no other allies in court but me, yet-"
"You do nothing but distance me from court! From the City Watch, even with- with her... you do nothing but heed the whispers of that leaching old man."
"Leaching old man?" Viserys raises his brows.
Daemon nearly vibrates in anger.
"You mean Otto Hightower?" the king's lips curl, "the man who begged me—"
He laughs dryly.
"—over and back to spare her sickly daughter from enduring a lifetime with a the likes of you!"
Daemon is wounded, "I am your brother."
"Then why do you cut me so deep?"
"I see that man for what he is."
Viserys huffs, "a loyal and faithful-"
"A cunt!"
The king leans back. His kingsguard are ready to draw their steel. Viserys realizes there is no getting through to him. He looks away then turns back to glare at him, "jiōragon hen ñuha laehurlion." Get out of my face.
"Lēkia," Daemon steps forward, muttering the word that meant older brother.
The kingsguards step forward, showing a glimmer of their swords as a warning.
"I hear it is the first time your Hightower bride has been separated from her twin. It would do her health good to visit Oldtown."
He clenches his fists tightly.
"Perhaps she might get strong enough to grant you a child," he clenches his jaw, "maybe once the gods have granted you a boy or girl, you will understand my grief." Viserys motions with a nod, "you are to return to your lady wife with no quarrel. Take him out of my sight."
Daemon does not wait to be apprehended and storms out of the room. He is bristling as he gets out.
"Mazeman bona ziry gōntan daor jikagon sȳrī." I take that it did not go well.
Daemon turns and sees Corlys standing by the door, hands clasped in front of him.
"I wanted to speak to you of something important earlier today. I hope your mood is not too bad foul-"
"Ȳdragon se sagon gaomagon lēda bisa jenigon," Daemon snaps. Speak and be done with this bother.
Corlys straightens his back and motions with hand, "it is regarding the Stepstones, your grace."
Daemon furrows his brows, vaguely recalling this topic being broached during one of the council meetings. The two of them discuss this as they walk down the hall. By the time the prince reaches your shared quarters, he's agreed to help the Seasnake with his concern.
You leap from your bed when the door opens. Daemon freezes as you scurry to the door, hastily running to him without even putting on your slippers. You stand before him barefoot, heaving as you clutch your nightgown. He stares at you, hands clenching into fists.
"Usōvegon," your lips tremble.
Daemon's face falls a fraction as he watches your eyes water.
"Usōvegon," apologies, you repeat. "Please..." you slowly reach for him.
He watches your palms press against his chest. He makes no attempt to move.
"Do not be cross with me any longer."
A deep breath flares through his nostrils. He realizes then that he is exhausted and shuts his eyes. He leans his forehead on yours and takes your wrists. He huffs at your feel, "you are freezing."
"I-"
Daemon seals you into an embrace and the warmth of his body quickly seeps onto your much colder one. A shiver runs down your spine. You immediately wrap your arms around him and nuzzle your face into his chest. He mimics you, brushing his cheek against your hair, taking in the faint smell of citrus. He remembers what his brother said and repeats it, "ñuha mijegindita ābrazȳrys." My poor wife.
You don't know what he says, so you make sure to tell him what wants to hear— what you think he wants to hear, "I will not defy you ever again."
He does not care about that. He pulls back and looks at you. He wipes the tears off your face and a line forms between his brows, "Caraxes attacked you?"
One of your hands instinctively comes to your philtrum, "no. I-" you shake your head, "I fell."
You don't know why you think Daemon would be satisfied with your answer. He presses, "tell me exactly what happened."
You huff, "I was... yesterday, I fainted—"
"Fainted?"
"—then I fell."
He shakes his head, "this happened in the dragon pit?"
"... no. When... when I was chasing after you."
Daemon brushes your hair back.
You cannot hold his gaze, "I went to the pit, hoping you'd be there and-" you realize you cannot tell him what happened. You cannot tell him you walked to his mount and his mount did not attack you because he could smell part of him in you. You huff, "-and Caraxes got close and knocked me over."
"Did he try to bite you?"
You debate for a second before shaking your head.
Daemon sighs, "he must have smelled me on you and got excited."
Your throat tightens. Goosebumps form on your arm when Daemon traces your nose with his thumb.
"And your nose bled?"
You do not want to answer.
He sighs, "I will reintroduce you to him, so that he does not act so-"
"It's not his fault!" you blurt, "not really."
He knits his brows.
"When I fainted and fell, my nose already bled, so..." you motion with a finger, "Caraxes simply... set off a previous injury."
He says absolutely nothing.
"My body is weak," you mumble, hoping to explain it better, "I've had worse injuries."
"Do you tell me this so that I will not bring you to Caraxes?"
"No," you shake your head, "no. Just... so you do not..." worry, you almost say, but then the idea feels presumptuous.
"Not fault my beast for acting like one?" Daemon asks, as he heads for his cabinet.
You look at him for a moment then follow. You decide to hum and proceed to help him get undressed.
Your husband examines your face. The moonlight mixed with candlelight makes your skin glow. He is loathe to think your tears add to it, but it's unfortunately true. Your being glistens because of all these things. He interrupts your unbuttoning by taking your cheeks and slowly wiping off the tears on your lashes.
You blink at him, "better?"
"Gevie," he says, brushing your throat with his thumbs.
You nod, though you still did not know what that meant. You push his doublet past his shoulders and once his dress shirt remained, he is quick to remove his shoes as you bring his clothes to the hamper. When you walk back to him, he is picking out clothes from his closet. You are deeply confused when he hands you a stack of shirts.
Daemon moves to his other cabinet and says, "pack those in my trunk for me."
You freeze and blink rapidly, "I-" you turn to his truck, which was atop his closet. Your heart races, "I cannot reach it."
Daemon pulls out more clothing before looking at you. You watch him closely as he stands and reaches for the trunk. He places it on the floor and opens it.
You slowly kneel on the floor beside it, doing your best to keep calm in this moment. Are you leaving? You nearly ask him, but you don't because he clearly is. You begin to fold his clothes, but you cannot hold your peace, "where are you going?"
Daemon stuffs his clothes into his trunk and sighs before crouching down to fix them, "the Stepstones."
"W-what?"
"The Seasnake needs help with the Crabfeeder, so I will help him."
"Why?" you blurt all too quickly.
Daemon straightens up. He looks down at you as you shake your head and quickly finish folding his clothes.
"Why must it be you?"
The voice of his brother rings in his mind. Do you carry such low regard of him just as he? "Why can't it be me?" he snaps, "you think I will be of no help?"
He is taken aback by how you chuck his clothes into his trunk rather aggressively. His face begins to harden with anger but then you make a noise and lean into the trunk, heaving deeply in and out.
"Wha-"
You cut him off by reaching for his legs. He is frozen in place as you embrace him from where you knelt on the floor.
Whatever choler was building in him quickly dissipates and morphs into... fear, or rather, worry. He calls out your name, reaching for your head.
"You cannot leave me," you shudder, gripping his calves for dear life. You look up at him, face wholly distraught but not teary. You find yourself too tired to shed a tear.
Cannot leave you? He does not like the way you imply he would be unable to if he wanted. Daemon watches you as you slowly bring yourself up to a stand. He does not help you as you pull yourself up using his legs and waist.
Your hands remain gripping the sides of his shirt as you stare at him. You take in his stoic expression as you gather the nerve to repeat, "you cannot leave m-"
"And why can't I?" he quips as his insecurity gets ahead of himself.
You hear it in his voice. You hear how he thinks you're challenging him. You shake your head and correct yourself, "n-no," you shudder, "no, Daemon, no. I- I want you to stay." You brush your palms up his chest.
He can feel the tremble of your hands as they come to his cheeks. He knit his brows at your confession. He has to ask, "why?"
You could tell him many reasons. The one possibly most relevant to him is that of the fact you were carrying his unborn child. A shiver runs down your spine; you are not foolish enough to believe this would be something that would make him want to stay. You could always tell him you needed him, your health needed him, because it was true. As much as he clawed your fragile heart, he made it soar in ways you've never experienced. But there was a rather simpler truth to that need, though attached to a very complicated feeling, "because I love you."
Daemon's expression falls. Though his lips barely part, you can tell that he is gobsmacked. You release a shaky breath as you swipe his chin and jaw with the pads of your thumbs.
Should he be so shocked? Love in a marriage is not so uncommon, even if it is arranged, even if it felt opposite in the beginning.
So, what?
What was your love to him? It would wax and wane like his brother's— and his brother, his fucking brother. He could not grant him the satisfaction. Daemon takes you by the wrists and slowly pries you off, "you are mistaken."
You take a deep breath at his words. You are perfectly still.
"I do not feel the same," he mutters.
Daemon was not one to lie, convinced such an act was beneath him, reserved for incapable, lesser men; half-wits, and yellow-bellies. The only reason he could say this was because the cup in which you held your love for him was far deeper than the one he had for you, and he was aware of it. He loved himself far more than he could ever bring himself to love anyone; he would always be first.
Still, he was not an incapable, lesser man, nor was he a half-witted yellow-belly. He knew of the cup he held, which oft overflowed. The mere thought of you triggered a smell in the air, and at the mention of your name, his bones ignited. You were his, and you held his regard, his affection, his lust, and, yes, his love.
All of this, he was about to explain, but then your reaction blind-sided him.
You nod, "I know."
How terrible it was to hear it. He knew his words where callous. He knew wuch an admission is a gash from a jagged blade— to not be loved by who you loved. Yet your casual resignation to this information stung, nay, scorched his heart.
Is it cold? Is his love so dry you cannot even feel it?
His grip on you falters.
You bring your hands to his shoulders. You rub his bicep and smile softly in reassurance, "I do not mind."
"What?"
Your smile widens a fraction, "I know you enjoy the... delicateness of my body, both intimately and-" you motion to yourself, "-regarding my affliction."
He knits his brows.
"It is wholly contrary to yours, and it is mirthful to you," you nod again, "I understand."
"Do you?" he raises his furrowed brows.
You slowly loosen your hold on him. You pull away to fidget with your fingers, "do I not?"
"No," he scoffs under his breath, chest tightening far too much he has to move past you, "I don't think you do."
You are quick to grab him but it slips, "then make me understand."
Daemon stops in his tracks, turning back to you as his breathing picks up.
Your own does the same, but your gasps get shorter and shorter, so much so, you feel yourself get lightheaded. Your husband has to grab you to keep you upright, but you want to show him you have the will to overcome this, that you aren't dead weight, so push him away and mutter, "I- I can do it, Daemon."
He misinterprets you. You scorch him again. He squeezes your arms, "you don't want my help now?"
"No," you say as try to catch your breath, "I- I just-" you cannot continue.
Daemon has to sit you down to help calm you down. He tried to keep you upright, but then he realizes you were consciously trying to lean into his chest, so he lets you. You press your cheek against his warm muscles and sigh at the beat of his heart. You wrap your arms around him, "I want this."
He stares at your brown hair for a moment.
"I want all of this," you sigh, "which is why I want to be what you want me to be."
He finally lets himself embrace you, but just then, you pull away to look at him.
"I can do it," you nod as you take a final deep breath, "I can be a dutiful wife— I will be a dutiful wife. I will not defy you. I will do as you please. I will not expect more than I ought."
"You cannot do everything for me," Daemon says with slight contempt, a line between his brows.
"I-" you shake your head, "... I know," you shake your head faster, taking his hands, "but can I make you stay?"
He looks at how you hold him. He feels sick.
"What can I do to ma-"
"You do not understand," he pulls his hand away, "my brother wants me to leave. He is sick of me and prays for my riddance."
You watch as Daemon stands and paces around.
"He told me to bring you to your twin in Oldtown, and I would sooner eat Caraxes' shit than be tossed aside to the fucking Reach."
You shake your head, "why does he want you to leave?"
"He is weepy over the drunken words I spoke."
"Well, what did you-"
"Does it matter?!" he snaps, raising his hands, "I must leave!"
He is clearly upset. You nod your head and come to a stand, "then I will speak to the k-"
"No!" he shouts, "I will not have my wife act on my behalf, as though I rolled my belly."
"You are not rolling your belly, I am."
"You think there is a fucking difference?!" he quips, marching in front of you, "no! I am to leave in the dawn, so pack my fucking things, woman!"
You grit your teeth in an attempt to steel yourself away. It does not prevent the tears from running down your cheeks.
Daemon's nostrils flare as you go back to his trunk and sort out his clothes. He hears your soft whimpers and slowly begins to deflate. He wipes his face, slowly turning to you. He watches tears drop onto his garbs, "have you nothing to say?"
You sniffle and shake your head rapidly.
"No?!" his expression pinches.
You stand and grab the rest of this clothes. You sniffle with difficulty then sigh deeply. Your voice is shaky, "I want only to please you."
Daemon chuckles dryly, aimlessly looking around, "you think this pleases me?"
"Then tell me what will!" you whip your head around, clutching his clothes tightly in your arms, "I implore you." You step forward and haphazardly drop everything to his trunk, "I cannot please you if you refuse to tell me what you want."
"I want to go to the fucking Stepstones!" he points to nowhere.
You are shattered. How terrible of him to make it so painfully clear that what he wants does not even involve you. He does not want you, or even if he did, you cannot be enough. You lower your gaze.
"I want you to beg me to stay."
You look up at him. You chuckle dryly under your breath when you realize he's being serious. Your sorrow is not enough, it seems, now he wants even your shame.
Daemon tenses when you get on your knees.
You grip the fabric of his trousers as tightly as possible in an attempt to steel yourself, but it does not prevent your tears from falling. You shudder, "please."
"..."
"Stay. I beg you."
Your prince gazes upon your bitterness. He brushes your cheek and feels the coldness of your tears. He sighs because this does not affect him the way he had hoped.
It is not enough.
Dawn breaks, and Caraxes is restless. Daemon's things were being secured on his dragon, but that is not why so many dragon keepers had to keep him in check.
There, by the entrance, you stood with your hands clasped together and your head hung low. Both your wards behind you, eyeing your prince, who was doing his best to calm his ride as the last of his things were readied. Daemon did not know Caraxes was acting this way because of your distress, but the keepers slowly began to realize this was the case.
One of the keepers call out, "ñuha dārilaros, aōha ābrazȳrys." My prince, your wife.
"Rȳbagon, Caraxes!" Daemon snaps at his dragon to listen. Caraxes shakes his head and the prince spares the dragon keeper a glance, "skoros hen zirȳla?" What of her?
"Aōha zaldrīzes kostagon yknagon zirȳla boter." Your dragon can smell her suffering.
The prince turns to you, back to Caraxes, "iksis ziry zirȳla, Caraxes?" Is it her, Caraxes.
You lift your gaze when you hear Daemon call for you. He beckons you over and before you can move, Arryk grabs your arm and whispers, "I do not think this wise."
You slightly turn to him, "he will not harm me. You saw how Caraxes acted yesterday."
"It is not the dragon I worry about."
You look at the man, seeing how his jaw is clenched. You place a hand on his shoulder plate before walking towards your husband.
Rather immediately, there is a shift in Caraxes's demeanor. He huffs and screeches, neck coiling so his head could come near you. Daemon barks out multiple commands and his mount finally obeys.
The prince knits his brows then turns to you, reaching out a hand. You take it and find yourself pulled into your husband's arms. Your skin pricks with goosebumps when he whispers in your ear, "he wants you."
You sigh and close your eyes, resigning yourself to Daemon. He links his fingers into yours and places it atop his dragon's snout.
Caraxes sighs and slightly leans in.
Daemon is astounded by this, "I did not know he could possibly care for someone more than his rider."
You slowly open your eyes and look at the creatures ruby scales. "He does not," you mutter, rubbing one hand on your belly.
He does not hear this. When he turns you around, he catches you rubbing your stomach. He sighs and takes your hand, "do not weep so bitterly."
You cannot do anything but the opposite. Tears stream down your cheeks, "do not be so cruel then."
Daemon watches how your lips wobble. A line forms between his brows, "do not make this harder than it should."
You pull away from him and lower your gaze, "then just leave me now, and spare me the slow torture."
He tenses at your words. His expression hardens, "I did not ask you to see me off."
"Shall I leave then?" you snap, eyes red as you look back at him.
"Yes!"
You grab your skirt and walk towards the twins.
Daemon is stunned. He turns around and watches as you storm off. He calls your name, once, twice, and then he is sobered by the scream of Caraxes. You do not even stop by the entrance anymore, and walk past your kingsguards, who are quick to follow after you.
Here you were doing his bidding, following his wishes, yet there was no satisfaction. All there was... was less of you, less of your strength, your light, your fire.
Daemon turns to Caraxes, who was restless again. He pushes past the dragon keepers and saddles up. He orders Caraxes to start walking, so he does. The blood wrym begins to crawl towards you and the prince has to reel him back, barking out orders of obedience far too loudly.
Caraxes gives a loud screech before following the order. He huffs so deeply that the wind it produces makes you topple.
Your knights are quick to keep you upright, and though you so badly want to turn around, you remind yourself that your husband has done nothing but all he wants since you've wed. If he wanted you to stay, he would have told you.
You wouldn't know then that Daemon made Caraxes stop in his tracks. You wouldn't know that as he watched you walk off, he was mumbling under his breath that you turn around. You just kept walking yet he still waited for you to turn back, even after your figure had disappeared.
He would also never know that you headed down to the docks near the Keep, just to watch Caraxes fly away one last time. He would never know how your skin pricked with gooseflesh at the sight of the red winged beast soaring above. He would never know how hard it became for you to breathe.
"Gods, please," you mumble as your eyes endlessly watered, "swiftly return him to me."
Arryk and Erryk, stood on either side of you, glared at the sky as they heard your broken voice. They were on high alert as the docks were busy at this hour, and yet, it was necessary to convey their contempt, even if the person it was meant for could not see.
"Give me back my husband," you look at your reflection in the water, "or take me to my mother."
Before your words even register to either of the twins, you've already jumped into the water. Erryk nearly jumps in with you before realizing his armor would surely make him sink. "PRINCESS!" he screams as he undoes his armor.
"THE PRINCESS!" Arryk screams to the fisherman, "SHE'S FALLEN INTO THE WATER!"
The commotion is great. It is loud and frantic, yet as your body plunges and slowly begins to float, you care little. You feel someone fish you out of the water by the arm, and you want nothing more than to break free and swim towards your demise. But then, you hear your wards calling out your name, and you realize you cannot.
You say nothing once you are on land.
Both Cargylls has a hand on your arm, and each of them are worriedly questioning you, "are you alrigh- what happe- what were you thinki- are you faint- my princess-"
"I need to see him," you say.
Arryk and Erryk freeze. The look at each other, not knowing what to say. Arryk offers, "my princess. I fear you cannot see Dae-"
"Not him," you look between them as you gather your skirts. It is arduous, as it is soaking wet.
Otto was on his way back from the scrolls room when hears the shout from across the hall. He tenses like a rock at the recognition of his daughter's voice.
You hadn't realized how tired you were until you saw him. Your knees immediately buckle and you fall to the floor as you call out, "papa!"
The Lord Hand dashes to you, dropping the scrolls he had along the way. He gets on his knees and picks you up. He is aghast by your dripping state, and his anger is soon turned on your incompetent guards, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY GIRL?"
"Papa," you mutter once you are in his arms.
Otto cradles you, looking down at your sorry form. A deep line is between his brows.
"He left me," you whisper, tears wetting your already wet cheeks.
Daemon. Lord Hightower clenches his jaw. It's always fucking him. "Come, my girl," he mutters, trying to bring you to your feet, "let's get you-"
Your voice is soft, yet it still cuts him off, "you must not leave me."
Otto is frozen. Arryk and Erryk are frozen too.
"If you leave me too, I do not think I will survive."
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MY SISTERS BIG FAT DESHI WEDDING IS DONE AND DUSTED AND IM NOW BACK TO DEVOURING MY FAVOURITE ANGSTY MASTERPIECE HELLOOOOOOOOO
Daemon is taken off-guard by how you pull away from him. He knits his brows, following after you as you head towards his niece, deeply annoyed by how easily you disregard him. But upon hearing the words you speak, he freezes.
For the 722819th time Daemon, please be normal for once (although his lovesick puppy behaviour is doing it for me ngl)
I would lay down my life for you my princess. On other note, I really hope that rhaenyra and the princess are able to find themselves on good terms despite the fact that alicent and rhaenyra are about to hate their guts. My girl needs all the support that she can get.
"Pain is difficult... but I've come to realize," you swipe her cheek, "it makes peace all the more precious." You chuckle under your breath when your own eyes begin to water, "I would know."
Rhaenyra's hand is quickly dropped when Daemon comes to your side, calling out your name. You sheepishly turn to him, apologizing over and back as he escorts you to a seat.
Girl bye, daemons disregard for rhaenyra is making me feel good about the man whore that is daemon 😋😋
...It makes her sorrow all the more sour.
Rhaenyra pls you're going to get your hunk of a bear guard to keep you company, leave him for us and dont pin after him 🙏🙏
You turn to him, sheepish, still, "I am. Thank you, darling."
ZOO WEE MAMA IM SCREAMINGGGGGGG
"Where is your father?" Daemon turns to Rhaenyra, seemingly not noticing your slip up. He did notice, but why wouldn't you call him darling?
omg slay you're so right daemon (for once!) Why wouldn't she????!!!
"No," Daemon quips, placing his silverware down, "I do not want to be subjected to tolling bells and incense."
Hey ho! The last time I checked, you're uncle not aunt. Stop poking your nose in other people's business omg???
"She has your sister," he turns to you, "if they need another companion, lend her your ward."
I want 2 bash his head against a wall. Thanks <3 The award for ruining progress should go to him.
The image of sorrowful wailing still haunts him, and your prayer for death is not something he wishes to hear ever again. You cannot pray such prayers if you are not in that fucking place, "I forbid you from going to the temple."
Something about how daemons intentions have perhaps always been misunderstood growing up and he's always been labeled as cruel/heartless so he stopped explaining himself. He had to bury that soft exterior and only knows how to give commands and now he's subconsciously commanding his wife to stop praying for her death. But she won't get to know it because it would seem like a weakness.
"You impress me with your commitment to understand everyone else but I."
Ugh, Daemon!! You frustrate me so much. How can she?! How can she when you're so busy fighting all different versions yourself at every moment that she can never predict which version of you she will get. I need you, to even for a moment, get over your self-loathing to look - and I mean really look - at her.
More accurately, you cannot. You clutch your chest and try to calm yourself before you slip into a full blown attack. You force yourself to take five deep breaths, and thankfully, you do not feel light headed.
Oh God, I'm not ready. I thought I was prepared for the bad parts but I'm not.
The thing was, you were still a terrible runner, and it if wasn't hard enough to catch your breath, you were screaming out the prince's name as you did, making it doubly hard.
IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF DAEMON JUST LOOK BACK AT HER FOR ONCE
"...as punishment for being unkind to your husband."
MY GIRL NO!!! NEVER. None of it was your fault ever and I can scream it from the highest mountain but you would never believe it, not even if daemon admits it to you. I will hunt down every man that has ever hurt you I promise.
"No!" you grab his arms, "you must not tell him! You must not tell a soul."
Oops I forgot about the baby doom again (mostly because I'm in denial and hoping that the destined chaos will simply never come)
"Papa," you mumble to yourself as you go to him.
No, stop. I will never get over how she instinctively reached for her father. And how Otto reacts to it like it's muscle memory (it is). Because Otto is her father, she has been raised being loved, protected and shielded by him. And Otto has spent her whole life doing exactly that.
The fact that Otto has tried and tested so many forms of consolations on you over the years, and it only goes to show that she has received a father's love- the only parental affection in her life - through the twisted means of Otto.
"The gods with strengthen you, daughter." he turns to Alicent, "I will take care of it, my girl."
Stop, stop, stop noooooo. This is the worst possible thinking that Otto has ever come up with. The idea that Alicent would have to sacrifice herself and her autonomy for the alleged safety (in the Hightowers' eyes) of the princess is going to be her end in itself. She would not be able to handle the fact that her baby sister is going to fall to the sword to save her.
Daemon ticks. He had been gazing into space, but now he has the wits to pours himself a drink, "is she dead now too?"
Fuck off you absolute rat. No but I need to see him react to some far-fetched rumour, perhaps when he has fucked off to God knows where, about the princess being dead and I just knowwwww he's going to absolutely fucking lose it mind like hah you little rat idiot, who is making these nonchalant jokes about her being dead now huh??
Your lips wobble, but you steel yourself away. You crush your sister into your arms and pepper her cheeks with kisses, "my sweet girl. I am five years your senior. I must lend you my ear." You pull away and cup her cheeks. You frown when you see her glassy eyes, "do not worry for me."
My heart just shattered into a million pieces. Justice for these two girls.
"Only I inherited your hair color," you mumble, beginning to tremble, "if my child looks too much like me—" you rapidly shake your head, "he will-"
Only once I need him to overhear just an ounce of her fear. Because I need this rat head to know that just because he feels this palpable love for her within himself, doesn't mean that she knows it and just how afraid she is of him.
Otto closes the door and the boy places the crackers on the table. The man circles 'round to his desk and sits down, "what news do you bring me today?"
I'm going to strangle some1 (possibly daemon)
I couldn't help myself but I already skimmed through ch10 earlier during the wedding festivities and bawled my eyes out at like 3am but gosh I can't want for a reread.
AS ALWAYS THANK YOU AUTHOR FOR KEEPING ME FED I LOVE YOUUUUUU
Tormented Spirit | 9
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 4k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, DD:DNE, panic/anxiety attacks, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: GUYS ITS STILL TOO FUCKING LONG I HAD TO CUT IT AGAIN. T_T canon stuff/medieval health care might not be accurate so ROLLLL with it ok. please consider leaving comments/reblogs because they really help me with the fic. | cross posted on ao3
@arabellasleopardcoat @prettybiching @myllovellybones
Daemon takes you to the dining room, and upon entering, you are met with Rhaenyra and Alicent, who were in the middle of eating lunch. For a split second, you are happy to see them both, but then you remember the horrible news regarding the princess's mother.
Daemon is taken off-guard by how you pull away from him. He knits his brows, following after you as you head towards his niece, deeply annoyed by how easily you disregard him. But upon hearing the words you speak, he freezes.
"My deepest condolences, my princess," you curtsy at Rhaenyra before placing a hand on her shoulder.
She is dejected and her eyes are sullen as she turns to you.
"She was in active labor last I saw her..." you shake your head, finding the words to say, "it is terrible to be without a mother," you turn to your sister, placing a hand on her shoulder as well, "the pain never quite leaves you. My sister and I know it well."
Rhaenyra turns back to her food, "how good to know."
You frown and crouch down beside her, "darling."
Rhaenyra slowly turns back to you, tears now falling from her eyes.
"Pain is difficult... but I've come to realize," you swipe her cheek, "it makes peace all the more precious." You chuckle under your breath when your own eyes begin to water, "I would know."
Alicent frowns, quickly feeling her own eyes well up at the display.
The same happens to Daemon. He watches three girls weep and his face hardens as he comes to Rhaenyra's side, "bisa tolī kessa rēbagon, ñuha riña." This too shall pass, my girl.
Rhaenyra turns to her uncle as he grabs her hand, heavy tears stream down her face, "ziry ōdragon." It hurts.
Daemon is supposed to say something, but then he notices Alicent begin to fuss over you. You softly brush her off as you come to stand. Alicent is quick to stand with you, and she is glad to have done so, because you nearly topple back.
Rhaenyra's hand is quickly dropped when Daemon comes to your side, calling out your name. You sheepishly turn to him, apologizing over and back as he escorts you to a seat.
Rhaenyra stares at you as her uncle sits you in the chair across her She watches how Daemon treats you, thinking she's never seen him treat anyone like this before, much less a lady. It makes her sorrow all the more sour.
He brushes your back but only calms after your food is served and he's seen you eat a few bites. He takes a goblet of wine but his eyes remain fixed on you, "better?"
You turn to him, sheepish, still, "I am. Thank you, darling."
Alicent's eyes widen at the sound of the pet name. Rhaenyra rolls her eyes with a huff. It is precisely that sound that makes you realize what you've said. You were used to referring to Alicent and Rhaenyra that, it came so naturally this moment, "I- I mean-"
"Where is your father?" Daemon turns to Rhaenyra, seemingly not noticing your slip up. He did notice, but why wouldn't you call him darling?
Rhaenyra clenches her jaw as she shakes her head, "mourning his lost heir."
Both you and your husband's face fall. You turn from the princess to the prince, reaching for his hand. Daemon clutches your hand as his brows constrict, "your brother is dead?"
"Just last night," Rhaenyra absentmindedly stirs her food, "his and my mother's funereal will be held in a few hours."
Your heart hurts for her, "my deepest sympathies for your losses, princess."
There is a thick silence for a moment. You all find it quite hard to eat, but you do so regardless. You force feed yourself through the unpleasant churn in your belly. After a while, you look across the room, finding that it looked everyone was experiencing the same thing. You break the silence, turning to your sister, "perhaps Alicent can accompany you to the temple to pray. It did always help me."
Alicent turns to Rhaenyra, but she does not react.
Your sister looks back at you and you give her a nod of encouragment. Alicent thinks for a moment, "a walk there would be good for you as well."
You smile at the red haired girl.
"My prayers are terrible," Rhaenyra mumbles.
You huff and frown at the thought, "it is impossible. No prayer is terrible, especially not one spoken in earnest."
Rhaenyra remembers how her septa would use you as an example for praying. She sniffles, "would you join us, aunt?"
You perk and immediately nod, "I would love t-"
"No," Daemon quips, placing his silverware down, "I do not want to be subjected to tolling bells and incense."
You all turn to him as Daemon turns to you. You slowly shake your head, "if... that is the case, you do not have to come."
Daemon's eyes widen ever so slightly in offense.
"Perhaps you can wa-"
"Kesan daor mītepagon ao ñuha ābrazȳrys," I will not lend you my wife, says Daemon to Rhaenyra.
You turn from your husband to his niece. Rhaenyra looks back at you, "he says he will not lend you to me."
Your lips part, giving him a look, "Daemon."
"She has your sister," he turns to you, "if they need another companion, lend her your ward."
A long silence passes.
Rhaenyra stares at her half-empty plate and decides that's as much as she'll ever get to eat in this moment. She pushes her chair back and stands, "I'm quite finished," she looks between the table. Alicent takes a final spoonful before standing as well.
"Raqagon aōha ābrazȳrys, kepa," enjoy your wife, uncle, Rhaenyra says as she walks off. Alicent follows after her, and both girls look at you as you stand to greet them goodbye. Daemon simply looks at his niece.
Rhaenyra, though she always harbored a special affection towards her uncle, could not find it in her to project her ire out on you, for you were nothing but kind to her, and after all, you were her closest friend's older sister. She nods at you as she leaves, "princess."
"Princess," you nod back and do the same for Alicent, "sister. Take care of each other."
Once they are gone, you sit back down and glare at Daemon.
It takes a moment for him to realize it. When he catches your look, his brows contort. You immediately quip, "would it very hard for you to stomach the ambience of the temple for an hour?"
Daemon turns back to his plate. He thinks of the night he came to you at the temple, "just because I came for you does not mean I wish to do the same for Rhaenyra."
You knit your brows deeply, not having a clue on what he's saying, "what?"
The image of sorrowful wailing still haunts him, and your prayer for death is not something he wishes to hear ever again. You cannot pray such prayers if you are not in that fucking place, "I forbid you from going to the temple."
"You forbid me?" you ask, flabbergasted.
"It is my prerogative where I go, and-" he turns back to you, "where my wife does."
You stare at him for a moment. You feel frustration bubble in your belly, "Daemon."
Anger bubbles in his belly.
You reach for his hand and gaze upon him in confusion, "the child's mother is dead."
He looks at your hand before his away, "I knew her mother longer than she has."
You chuckle in disbelief, pulling your head back. He looks at you, jaw set and eyes glassy. You shake your head slowly, "that's not fair."
"Isn't it?" Daemon laughs, hurt by your sentiment.
"Her mother is dead," you shake your head rapidly, "she who taught her everything she kno-"
Daemon stands abruptly, jaw and fists clenched tightly, making you flinch. He stares at you for a long moment and you feel your breath begin to grow heavy. You slowly reach for his hand, half expecting him to rip his arm away. When he does not, you come to a stand, "Dae-"
"You impress me with your commitment to understand everyone else but I."
His words stab you like a spear through the chest. Your eyes begin to water, "is that what you think I'm do-"
"Then what?!" he snaps, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks.
You begin to sob and you take his cheeks, "I'm trying to make you understand what I am thinking, why I want to go with Rhaenyra, because I know what it fee-"
"Do I not mourn?" Daemon swats your hand away from him. He quickly turns away when his tears begin to fall. He does not get to notice how you twitch at his action, nor how instantly your heart begins to race.
He walks off to the door, stopping for a moment, waiting for you to come after him. You do not.
More accurately, you cannot. You clutch your chest and try to calm yourself before you slip into a full blown attack. You force yourself to take five deep breaths, and thankfully, you do not feel light headed.
Daemon, too wrapped up in his self-suffering, does not even think to look at you and storms out of the dining room.
By the time the doors slam shut, you are able to bring yourself to go after your husband. You move as quickly as you can, convincing yourself sprinting was worth it if you managed to catch up to Daemon. The thing was, you were still a terrible runner, and it if wasn't hard enough to catch your breath, you were screaming out the prince's name as you did, making it doubly hard.
Daemon, on the other hand, did not have to try to walk as fast as he did. He is walking so fast, if anyone were to crash into him, they would shoot off and hurt themselves.
It doesn't take long for you to lose your breath, and though you didn't want to, your body to forces you to stop. You were so close. You managed to catch a whiff of Daemon's silver hair, but now everything was turning silver... then black. You reach to the side to lean against the wall, but you miscalculate your reach and shift your weight, only to slip and crash roughly onto the ground.
You're so out of breath, no sound comes out of you when you crash. The pain is immense, yet you are rendered mute. Your ribs throb at the impact of colliding against the stone floor. You do not know it, but your nose it bleeding too.
It's a wonder that you did not pass out. Or perhaps it was the gods' will for you to feel fibre of your body strangle itself from how your lungs struggled, as punishment for being unkind to your husband.
You do know know it, but two Gold Cloaks find you on the floor. They are quick to bring you to the maester's ward. You hear them explain to the measter how they found you, and you muster up your remaining energy to say, "Daemon... please."
The two Gold Cloaks understand and leave with the intent of sending your husband to you. They will not manage to find him till much later for he went off on dragonback.
You lie on one of the cots in the maester's ward, staring at the ceiling you've come to know all too well. You know your maester can do little to help you in this moment, but you are grateful for his care nonetheless.
"You mustn't strain yourself in your condition, your grace," the old man says, "you are carrying a child within you."
You tense at his words. Your sit up and straighten your back, rapidly shaking your head, "b-but, maester, how can that be? It cannot be."
He offers you a solemn look, "your father, Lord Hand, has made us monitor you-"
"He does not finish inside me," you quip and frantically motion, "he- he... he spills on my skin. How then can I be with child?"
The maester is taken aback by your confession. He does not give himself away though and calmly explains, "it is still possible for... the seed take root from premature ejaculation."
You are floored by this information. You shake your head in disagreement, "but— he will not believe me."
"He does not have to. It does not ch-"
"He will do everything to villainize me. He will accuse me of infidelity."
He frowns, "I can explain it to-"
"No!" you grab his arms, "you must not tell him! You must not tell a soul."
He pulls his head back, "your grace..." he brings your hands slowly off him, "you can only hide such a thing for so long."
You shake your head and bring yourself to stand, "it is a worry for another time."
"Wait- you cannot leave-"
"I cannot miss the queen's funeral."
The maester does his best to prevent you from leaving. He calmly tries to lead you back to bed and explain that no one would fault you for being unable to attend. You are persistent however and managed to get out of the room. Two other maesters come and try to reel you back in, and it is the same time your wards come running in.
News of you fainting had spread like wildfire, and both their faces were marked with avid worry. "Princess!" they call in unison.
"Make them release me!" you wail in exhaustion as you fight off the maesters.
"She cannot go," your maester says, "she is far too weak."
"Unhand her this instant!" Erryk barks, ready to forcefully shove the old men away from you.
The maesters pull away in shock and confusion as Erryk imposes upon them. Arryk is the one to keep you upright, and he is horrified by the state you are in. You lean into his armour, lulled by his hard steel as you sigh in exhaustion.
"You would subdue her in such a state?" Arryk snaps.
"She is hysterical," the maester says, "she is not strong enough to-"
"Aye, but she's strong enough to fight off 3 grown men?" Arryk grits his teeth as he keeps you upright, "have you not given her medication?"
He sighs, "there is no medication fo-"
"Then what business has she here?" Erryk raises his brows, "you'd keep her to rot?"
The man scoffs, "I am offended, ser, that you think you know better than I when it comes to the health of the princes."
"I do know better," Erryk snaps, "you will not treat her like a prisoner if she asks to leave again."
"Ha!" the maester snaps, "fine! I'm sure the days you've spent gutting men has made you learned in the ways to heal them, ser."
With that, the maesters leave and you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. You sigh as Erryk turns to you, seeing the hardness of his face soften in real time. You frown, "you should not have done that."
"My duty?" he narrows his eyes, "they had you surrounded like a criminal."
Arryk nods, "I fear they might have bruised you."
You sigh, fighting back tears. You steel yourself away and shake your head, "I should prepare for the funeral."
You do just that and Erryk and Arryk escort you to the funeral. You immediately spot Daemon, but he was stood beside his brother and niece, so you did not think it proper to interlope. You find Alicent standing just a few paces from Rhaenyra and debate to join her, but then you see the Lord Hand farther behind her, and you feel the need to cry.
"Papa," you mumble to yourself as you go to him.
Your father is quick to recognize your distress once you come to him, and quickly takes you under his arm. It is so instinctive, the Cargyll twins are shocked by it. They were supposed to keep close watch on you, but they decided to give you and your father privacy.
Otto had long decided physical affections were no use to you, and yet in this moment, he pulls you into him, securing one arm your shoulders. You press your cheek into his chest as you steal a glance at the king. Viserys stands before two lifeless bodies, and the sight mirrored that of the day your mother died.
You wrap your arms around your father.
He sighs, eyes throwing daggers at the Rogue fucking prince, "did he take the news badly?"
You shake your head, "I have not told him."
Otto sighs again, agitated and disappointed. His face is crestfallen as calls out your name, "what happened then?"
"I am terrified."
Your father tenses and clenches his jaw. He strokes your hair, doing his best to ignore the awful sounds you were making. "The gods with strengthen you, daughter." he turns to Alicent, "I will take care of it, my girl."
After the funeral, once Otto made sure you are taken care off, he goes to his other daughter and asks about the princess. Alicent is quick to explain to him that Rhaenyra is so much like you when your mother died, "I have not seen Rhaenyra in such a state."
Otto offers Alicent a soft smile, placing a hand on her cheek, "you are ever empathetic, daughter, to both the princess and your sister."
"Sister did not look well at the funeral either. I should check up on her."
"That won't be necessary," her father raises a hand, "I've seen to her already. She needs only to rest now."
Alicent slowly nods.
"You ought to offer some empathy to the king however."
The girl tenses at the thought.
"Unlike your princesses, the king does not have people to go to at this time. Even now, he's secluded himself in his chambers. It would be good of you to go to him from time to time, if only to express how you keep him in your prayers."
Alicent tries to make sense of it. She clenches her jaw, "wouldn't it be more appropriate for you to do this, father?"
He chuckles lowly, "how much sadder would he be if a widower offer another widower his bitter prayers?"
She stills at the thought and understands. Or so she thinks.
Otto smiles and places a hand on her shoulder, "it might be best if you keep private your visits to him. You need not explain your concern to Rhaenyra to further distress her."
She nods in understanding. In truth, she does not understand the true intentions of her father, and will not until it is far too late.
As this was happening, you were trying to get ahold of Daemon. You could not for he was quick to leave the funeral right after it concluded. He had seen you crying to your father and wanted to wash his eyes with alcohol, unwanting to behold such a gruesome sight. It stung far too much that you sought comfort in that cunt face. Why didn't you cry to him instead?
Daemon washes alcohol down his throat instead with members of his City Watch at his favorite brothel. Mysaria is there to keep him company and though her touch and words are gentle, he cannot find solace in them like he once did.
The two guards who had found you on the floor earlier today hear about the gathering and go to the prince to tell him what had happened to you.
"Your grace."
Daemon sulks as he stares at a cup of wine. Mysaria, who was stood behind his chair, looks at the men then to the silver haired man, "my prince. These men want to speak to you."
"Wha-what for?" he snaps through a hiccup.
"Your wife, my prince," one says.
Mysaria stiffens, lips parting. She was not a stranger to Daemon's foul moods and prided herself in easily defusing them. It changed when he married the Hightower girl. Though it was evident most of his frustrations stemmed from you, you were too much of a touchy subject, which is why she says, "I do not think he wants to talk about her."
"A whore should not meddle with concerns she cannot understand."
Mysaria scoffs, thinking about how Daemon fucked her once and called out his bride's name. When she brought it up after, he screamed, telling her he doesn't pay her to ask questions. She steps back and crosses her arms, "be my guest then."
One of the two guards lean forward in an attempt to gain the attention of the distracted man, "prince Daemon. We wished to report something regarding your wife."
Daemon ticks. He had been gazing into space, but now he has the wits to pours himself a drink, "is she dead now too?"
The two are taken aback. Mysaria steps back a few paces.
"N-no, your grace. But she-"
"Then do not FUCKING mention her to me!" Daemon snaps, jolting from his seat. His scream was loud enough to cause the noise to cease. He grabs his cup and downs his drink in one go. He then pushes past the two guards and begins to monologue.
"The gods give as the gods take," he says, voice horse and eyes misty. "Try as they may, I am not so easily replaced."
The room is solemn as they look upon the prince. He is clearly distraught and wholly drunk.
He stares at his cup, "wine does not taste sweeter with tears. Tonight, we drink to the Heir For A Day..." he burps, "perhaps he would have liked wine."
Back in the keep, as Alicent leaves her father's quarters, you go to them, which is why you cross paths. She is concerned by how you lean into ser Cargyll's arm as you walk, and immediately comes to your side, "sister?"
"Alicent," you smile, immediately perking up.
"Lady Hightower," the knight greets her.
"It's ser Erryk," you playfully whisper with a smile.
Alicent turns to you and offershim as soft smile, "ser Erryk."
"You spoke to father, surely," you take her hand, making her look back at you, "is his mood grim?"
She shakes her head, "no. He is... relatively placid, I think."
"Good," you break away from Erryk. He assures you are firmly planted on your feet before releasing you, "I can talk to him then."
"Shouldn't you rather be resting?" she asks in concern.
"It is urgent. I-" you shake your head, "I cannot delay any further."
Alicent realizes then that your hair was fully undone and slightly messy now. You were also in your thick velvet robe, and it only causes her further concern. "I know I am not Gwayne, but if there is anything you wish to speak of," she squeezes your hands, "I am hear to lend an ear."
Your lips wobble, but you steel yourself away. You crush your sister into your arms and pepper her cheeks with kisses, "my sweet girl. I am five years your senior. I must lend you my ear." You pull away and cup her cheeks. You frown when you see her glassy eyes, "do not worry for me."
She chuckles rather sadly, "we help but worry always for those we love."
Erryk heart pinches at the solemn exchange of the two sisters. He is glad to know that at least one more person in your family loved you with gentleness. He makes mental note to encourage you to write to your brother.
When Alicent leaves, you take a breath before knocking on the Hand's door.
"Enter."
You walk in and find your father busy at his desk.
"Father."
Otto looks up at you, immediately coming to stand, "what's wrong?"
You close the door behind him, catching Erryk's encouraging gaze. He nods before you shut the door. You turn to you father, finding he was already walking towards you.
He takes your hand, inspecting you. He speaks your name carefully, and it softens your frigid demeanor, "what has happened?"
You smile sadly, "I cannot sleep."
He sighs, partially relieved it is nothing so severe. He walks towards the door, "I will have one of the maids send you warm milk and honey."
"There is something I must tell you," you say, making him stop.
He turns back you, antsy over your serious tone, "if it is regarding Daemon. Do not worry. I have designs to keep him on a leash."
You release his hand and turn to your feet.
His expression hardens. He knows whatever you have to say is grave because you can no longer look at him. He steps forward and takes your cheeks, "daughter."
You look up at him, face stained with tears.
"Go to bed," he wipes your cheeks, "you'll muster the nerve to tell your husband the news soon en-"
"He does not finish inside me, father."
"..."
"I've-" you choke on your breath, "I've spoken about it to the maesters and he's explained it is possible for the seed to take root from premature ejaculation but-"
"Have you strayed?" Otto tightens his hold a fraction.
You are aghast by his statement and rapidly shake your head, "father, I wou-"
"Then there is nothing to fear," he cuts you off, brows tensing, "your child will be born with silver hair and violet eyes, and-"
"Only I inherited your hair color," you mumble, beginning to tremble, "if my child looks too much like me—" you rapidly shake your head, "he will-"
"Enough," he snaps, shaking you slightly.
You chest begins to tighten.
Otto notices and brushes your hair out of your face. He recites the common prayer you used to pray with your mother, "Seven, hear me. Father, strengthen me. Mother, protect me. Warrior, d—"
"Defend me," you sigh, joining in, "Smith, mend me."
"Mend my daughter," Otto mumbles softly.
"Maiden, beautify me," you say together, "Crone, enlighten me. Stranger, guide me."
Otto nods and strokes your hair, "now breathe."
It takes a few deep breaths, but you are calm now. He leads you to the door and opens it. "Oh, good," he says, once spotting your ward, "you're not entirely useless."
Erryk walks over to you, ignoring your father completely as he takes you by the arm.
"Take her to bed and have some warm milk and honey served to her."
"Yes, my lord," he says, though not sparing the lord a glance.
You, however, do, looking back with a soft smile, "good night, father."
He is about to reply, but then comes a servant boy, holding a plate of crackers and cheese, who freezes at the sight of the crowded entry. He thinks he's made a mistake, so he turns to leave, but Otto raises a hand and beckons the boy over, "come."
The boy walks past you, mumble a soft, "milady."
You smile and nod, "good evening."
Erryk eyes him suspiciously as he enters the room but refocuses on walking you back.
Otto closes the door and the boy places the crackers on the table. The man circles 'round to his desk and sits down, "what news do you bring me today?"
"Prince Daemon at the brothel, milord," the boy says, rolling back and forth on his heels.
The Lord Hand's face twists in contempt. He pulls his desk open and procures a cold coin.
The boy gleefully takes it and begins to explain the events that take place.
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Hello, it's presently 3:30am and I have several thoughts about this and the last chapter but due to my sister's wedding I have not been able to get on tumblr and share my elaborate nonsensical thoughts regarding the updates BUT I HAD TO SAY THIS
I just finished reading it, and there's genuine tears rolling down my cheeks. My heart is so heavy and I'm in tears.
Your writing is like a drug I can't even explain it.
That's all I've got to say for now, I'll be back with my full thoughts shortly. Ily author <3
Tormented Spirit | 10
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, DD:DNE, panic/anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: GUYS ITS STILL TOO FUCKING LONG I HAD TO CUT IT AGAIN T_T blah blah canon stuff/high valyrian inaccurate blah. please please leave comments/reblogs because they really help me with the fic. | cross posted on ao3
@arabellasleopardcoat @prettybiching @myllovellybones
Daemon does not come home to you that night. When you awaken, you feel sick to your stomach. The thought of food repulsive though, so you spend the morning looking for your husband, until your body betrays you and feels sick because of not having eaten. You realize that your state is not borne simply from worrying about the prince, but probably also because of this supposed life you carried within you.
You try to deny it though, chalking it up to your mind playing tricks on you. After all, it's laughable that you suddenly experienced these symptoms just after all the fuss of learning you were with child.
You thought you finally found Daemon when you heard Caraxes was in the dragon pit, and so you run there, run, much to the protest of Arryk, who was hot on your heels. He managed to convince you to slow down by telling you that you would eventually get to the dragon pit if you walked, but you would never get there if you pass out.
You'd never been so happy to see the blood wyrm.
"Daemon?" you call out, searching for him.
Caraxes is busy feasting on meat and Arryk is busy watching him, body tense and senses on high alert.
The dragon keeper comes to you, shaking his head, "se dārilaros iksis daor kesīr dombo." The prince is not here anymore.
You understood nothing, save dārilaros, which you knew meant prince, and figure he's probably telling you he is not here, which you could gather from simple observation.
You turn to Caraxes and point, "zaldrīzes." Dragon.
The man brightens, as he understands, "Caraxes."
You nod, placing a hand on your chest. You do a walking motion with your fingers towards Caraxes.
His eyes widen and he shakes his head and hands.
You clench your jaw and turn to Caraxes, nodding your head in understanding.
The dragon keeper relaxes.
He mistakes you.
"Arryk," you turn to your ward, "can you come here please?"
Arryk's eyes linger on the dragon a moment before turning to you. You settle him in front of the dragon keeper, and while he is distracted from trying to figure out what you were doing, you circle behind your knight and sneak past both, making a beeline towards Caraxes.
The dragon notices you immediately and watches you near. He lifts his head and sniffs the air, and only then do the two men realize what's happening.
"PRINCESS!" Arryk shouts, sprinting towards you before coming to an abrupt stop.
Enraged, Caraxes cranes his long neck, roaring at Arryk, making him topple back on his bum.
The dragon keeper screams a command and raises his hands.
Amidst the peril of it all, you are calm as you look up at Daemon's companion. It stems from the truth that it would be far less complicated and less painful to be eaten by a dragon than to tell your husband you are with child and deliver it.
The red creature screeches as snaps his teeth at the two men, causing his keeper to step back and Arryk to crawl back with him.
Caraxes then averts his attention, shaking his head as he circles around you, effectively blocking the two from seeing anything other than his massive, scaly body.
In truth, you think your heart might be impaired, because it doesn't race at all as the beast seemingly imposes upon you. He cannot seem to stop pacing around you, as if he was restless, anxious even.
Your face contorts at the bleating sound it makes. He lowers his head slightly inhaling and exhaling deeply. He makes another noise and you swear to yourself, the creature looks like he's fidgeting.
You feel bad, for it seems... you've upset him, "apologies... I was hoping you'd eat me."
Caraxes screams loudly again when he spots two other dragon keepers come to you from the other side. He threatens them with a snap of his teeth.
"Daor!" they scream in unison. No.
Caraxes seethes and screeches, as if saying, 'do not tell me what to do'.
He circles around you again, and this time, he shoves you forward with his wing. You yelp as you are knocked to the ground with a thud. You manage to brace yourself, grazing your hands as you did, but your chest still hurts at the impact.
The keepers scream in horror because of this, fearing that you would soon be eaten.
"HEY!" Arryk screams, thinking he can distract Caraxes. He can't, and he is losing his mind. Hoes not know what to do but to shout your name in terror. He can't help but draw his sword and immediately the dragon keeper is yelling something, motioning that he stop.
You whine as you roll on your side. Caraxes growls as he bites your arm. The fear finally sets in as he does this, and his powerful maw pulls you up to sitting position.
The dragon keeper, who ran to retrieve you, shrieks out upon witnessing this.
You gasp when Caraxes roars back, and you squeal when his wing comes over you. The strangest thing occurs to you in that moment, and your heart finally begins to race— not because it sinks in how much danger you were in, but because, suddenly, you knew you were not.
You come to a stand, and with no regard for your safety, you reach out for the dragon's skin, somehow shocked by how warm and hard it is. "Caraxes."
He hears you, though you barely raised your voice. He is sensitive to the sound of his name. Caraxes moves back, pulling away enough to be able to coil his neck and look at you.
The dragon keepers, who were so on edge, altogether fall silent when they see you in the midst of the blood wrym.
Arryk nearly broke into a other sprint upon finally seeing you, but he manages to hold back and lowers his sword, unwilling to sheathe it.
Caraxes produces a sound you think is akin to a mewl, as much as a mewl a ten foot beast could make. You huff and feel your breath hitch. You close your eyes and reach out to him, ready to accept whichever fate awaits you, companionship or death.
You gasp, eyes instantly opening when you feel the wetness on your hands. Caraxes presses his snout to your palms, and you squeak, quickly pulling back at the heat of his huff.
He lifts his head and begins to pace around again. You are certain now that the beast was, in fact, restless.
"Paez ilagon!" you exclaim, raising your hands at him.
Caraxes huffs, debating if he should heed your command.
"Paez ilagon," slow down, you repeat as the dragon fully faces you.
You, and everyone else who witnesses it, are shocked that Caraxes listens. He quits his pacing and slowly comes to a halt, looming over you.
Your lips wobble, humbled by the idea such a fearsome creature would obey the commands of such a pathetic being. You begin to weep, as Caraxes lowers his head, sniffing you. Your hands dart out to him when he gets too close. You slightly topple when he nudges you with his snout. You feel the warmth of his breath seeping through your dress as he brushes against you. You can tell he is trying his best to be gentle, but even then he is too strong that you have to repel him. He makes the faintest of sounds.
"Gods be good," you mumble as you gaze upon the creatures scales, "you can smell him, can't you? Daemon?"
Caraxes remains pressed against you a moment longer.
You sniffle and momentarily fantasize about the child growing within you. You lean into him in defeat, "you silly thing."
His throat emits a low rumble.
"It would have been better if you made me a snack," you mumble against him, feeling your tears drip.
Caraxes slowly lowers his head until he is laid on the floor. You remain leaned on him for a moment, and then you pull away with a sigh. You look upon the dragon, thinking he is so much like his rider, and stroke his cheek one last time before pulling away.
You walk towards the dragon keeper you had blindsided and lower your head in shame, speaking the word you had learned for Daemon, "usōvegon." Apologies.
He stares at you for a moment, taking in your now messy hair and dirtied face, and replies with something you do not understand.
You nod at him without meeting his eyes then hurriedly walk off. Arryk is quick to follow after you, and his skidding makes Caraxes screech at him. He flinches at the sound, looking behind him warily. You do not.
When Arryk finally catches up to you, he takes your arm and calls out your name. He is alarmed by the red smeared down your philtrum and cheek.
"Forgive me," you mutter, unable to meet his gaze. You do not stop walking, "I- I was overcome... I did not think of anything but myself. I did not mean to cause anyone such immense distress."
"What were you trying to do?" Arryk quips, taking in your dirtied face. He did not know if it would be appropriate to wipe it with his cloak.
You shake your head, still unable to look at him.
"Princess," Arryk speaks like a plea, "did you know Caraxes would not hurt you?"
You gulp, quickening you pace.
Arryk huffs in frustration, calling out your name.
He forces you to stop by dashing forward, coming in front of you. You look up at him, eyes teary and mouth parted.
"I beg you," he clenches his fists, before succumbing to his urges. He grabs his cloak and wipes your face, brushing the dirt and blood as neatly as he can, "please tell me you did not knowingly put yourself in danger."
The tears running down your face help him clean you off. You honestly say, "I don't know if I should tell you."
Arryk is heart broken. He clenches his jaw tightly and releases his hold on you. He steps aside and you begin walking again.
You feel awful as you look at him. He is sullen as he walks beside you. You wipe your nose on your sleeve, "apologies, Arryk."
He shakes his head and opens his mouth. His jaw hangs for a moment, but then he closes his mouth, saying nothing.
You turn to your side when you hear your name called.
Alicent, who was making her way to the king's quarters, runs up you, eyes widening at the blood on your face. The red had spread as it mixed with your tears. She quickly pulls out her handkerchief, "your nose is bleeding!"
Your eyes widen, as you did not know this, but you quickly take her wrist and slowly pull away, "it is nothing."
"What happened to her, ser?" Alicent turns to Arryk.
Arryk is eager to tattle, "she was at the dragon pit and-"
"I fell," you cut him off, blocking your sister's gaze upon your ward, "I-"
"You fell in the dragon pit?!" she bristles further. Your feigning backfired. "What did Daemon do?!"
"The prince is nowhere to be seen," Arryk scoffs.
"I was- am looking for him!" you blurt
"Caraxes nearly attacked her," Arryk adds.
"Arryk!" you whip your head to him then back to your sister, "he did not!"
"He shoved her back and she fell!" he explains, "that's why her nose is bloody."
Alicent calls your name as you call Arryk's.
Your sister takes your shoulders, eyes immediately watering, "did you want to get hurt, sister?"
Your jaw slacks, "I- I-"
"Does Daemon posses you to do such things?" your baby sister begins to cry.
You shake your head rapidly, "no! No. I swear to you, this has nothing to do with him."
"Then what?" Alicent asks with a broken voice.
You gasp for air and feel a shiver run down your spine. You cannot tell her the truth, so you explain instead, "my nose already bled yesterday, which is why it's bleeding now."
"What?!"
"I already fainted yesterday and fell quite hard, which is why my nose is bleeding again."
"Mother, please," Alicent whispers.
"Alicent, I swear to you, you need not-"
"How could you let this happen to her twice?" Alicent turns to Arryk.
Arryk lowers his head, "I have failed-"
"I snuck behind him," you blurt, "do not fault him for my impulsiveness."
Alicent's heart is crush as she watches you wipe your face.
"It is not Arryk's fault that my nose is bloody. It is neither Caraxes fault for shoving me. It is mine. My body is weak and I have spent all day looking for my husband, against the behest of my maester."
Alicent clenches her jaw. It is Daemon's fault.
"I will go to the maesters' ward and submit to whatever is prescribed to me," you place a hand on her shoulder. You sniffle, "do not speak to father of this."
"Make sure to go to the maester's then," you sister warns.
Dejected, you look away and walk off.
Alicent takes in a breath before grabbing her skirts, marching over to the king's quarters.
Viserys is in the middle of gluing his diorama of King's Landing when he hears a knock on the door, "come in."
Alicent enters, sighing deeply before pulling a smile.
"Alicent," his blank expression slightly lightens.
She curtsies, "your highness," and walks over to him. She turns her attention to whatever it was the king was building.
Viserys shows raises a block, "a new tower."
Alicent smiles softly, "pretty."
The king raises a brow upon noticing the stiffness to her demeanor, "is everything alright?"
Alicent betrays herself on purpose by nodding her head too quickly.
Viserys puts the tower down. He reaches for her arm, "what's wrong, my girl."
She takes a sharp breath, "my sister—"
He furrows his brows.
"—she... she has a bloody nose from falling."
"She fell?"
"Twice," Alicent fidgets with her hands, honest agitation for her sister taking over her, "because she's been looking for Daemon."
His reaction to the name is instant. Viserys' jaw clenches and his fists ball in anger, "Daemon."
Daemon struts down the great hall, making his way towards the Iron Throne. The night was now deep and the few candles lit in the room only increased the tension between the brothers.
The prince looks up at the king. The king and two kingsguard stationed on either side of the throne look down at him. Viserys clenches his sword, "and where have you been?"
Daemon scoffs, aimlessly looking around, "have you summoned me to nag?" He clasps his hand in front of him, leaning on one foot, "I already have a wife for that."
His brother laughs, hard. It echoes across the hall, but it is by no means genuine, "I would not have ever known with all the time you waste in brothels."
Daemon grinds his teeth, face contorting, "so you've summoned me to reb-"
"Did you say it?" Viserys snaps.
"... what?"
"An heir for a day— did you say it?!"
"..."
The king's nostrils flare.
"... we must all mourn in our own way, your grace."
Viserys sighs, lowering his head in defeat for a second, then erupts, "MY FAMILY HAS BEEN DESTROYED!" He seethes, "and instead of staying at mine, or Rhaenyra's side you celebrate your own rise with your whores and your lickspittles!
"And wife," he scoffs, "your poor wife... do you even know that your mount has injured her?"
Daemon stiffens.
"She came to the pit looking for you and the beast caused her a bloody nose."
"What?"
"You chose her Daemon. And in choosing her you prove time and time again, I bend to your desires only to be repaid with disrespect. You have no other allies in court but me, yet-"
"You do nothing but distance me from court! From the City Watch, even with- with her... you do nothing but heed the whispers of that leaching old man."
"Leaching old man?" Viserys raises his brows.
Daemon nearly vibrates in anger.
"You mean Otto Hightower?" the king's lips curl, "the man who begged me—"
He laughs dryly.
"—over and back to spare her sickly daughter from enduring a lifetime with a the likes of you!"
Daemon is wounded, "I am your brother."
"Then why do you cut me so deep?"
"I see that man for what he is."
Viserys huffs, "a loyal and faithful-"
"A cunt!"
The king leans back. His kingsguard are ready to draw their steel. Viserys realizes there is no getting through to him. He looks away then turns back to glare at him, "jiōragon hen ñuha laehurlion." Get out of my face.
"Lēkia," Daemon steps forward, muttering the word that meant older brother.
The kingsguards step forward, showing a glimmer of their swords as a warning.
"I hear it is the first time your Hightower bride has been separated from her twin. It would do her health good to visit Oldtown."
He clenches his fists tightly.
"Perhaps she might get strong enough to grant you a child," he clenches his jaw, "maybe once the gods have granted you a boy or girl, you will understand my grief." Viserys motions with a nod, "you are to return to your lady wife with no quarrel. Take him out of my sight."
Daemon does not wait to be apprehended and storms out of the room. He is bristling as he gets out.
"Mazeman bona ziry gōntan daor jikagon sȳrī." I take that it did not go well.
Daemon turns and sees Corlys standing by the door, hands clasped in front of him.
"I wanted to speak to you of something important earlier today. I hope your mood is not too bad foul-"
"Ȳdragon se sagon gaomagon lēda bisa jenigon," Daemon snaps. Speak and be done with this bother.
Corlys straightens his back and motions with hand, "it is regarding the Stepstones, your grace."
Daemon furrows his brows, vaguely recalling this topic being broached during one of the council meetings. The two of them discuss this as they walk down the hall. By the time the prince reaches your shared quarters, he's agreed to help the Seasnake with his concern.
You leap from your bed when the door opens. Daemon freezes as you scurry to the door, hastily running to him without even putting on your slippers. You stand before him barefoot, heaving as you clutch your nightgown. He stares at you, hands clenching into fists.
"Usōvegon," your lips tremble.
Daemon's face falls a fraction as he watches your eyes water.
"Usōvegon," apologies, you repeat. "Please..." you slowly reach for him.
He watches your palms press against his chest. He makes no attempt to move.
"Do not be cross with me any longer."
A deep breath flares through his nostrils. He realizes then that he is exhausted and shuts his eyes. He leans his forehead on yours and takes your wrists. He huffs at your feel, "you are freezing."
"I-"
Daemon seals you into an embrace and the warmth of his body quickly seeps onto your much colder one. A shiver runs down your spine. You immediately wrap your arms around him and nuzzle your face into his chest. He mimics you, brushing his cheek against your hair, taking in the faint smell of citrus. He remembers what his brother said and repeats it, "ñuha mijegindita ābrazȳrys." My poor wife.
You don't know what he says, so you make sure to tell him what wants to hear— what you think he wants to hear, "I will not defy you ever again."
He does not care about that. He pulls back and looks at you. He wipes the tears off your face and a line forms between his brows, "Caraxes attacked you?"
One of your hands instinctively comes to your philtrum, "no. I-" you shake your head, "I fell."
You don't know why you think Daemon would be satisfied with your answer. He presses, "tell me exactly what happened."
You huff, "I was... yesterday, I fainted—"
"Fainted?"
"—then I fell."
He shakes his head, "this happened in the dragon pit?"
"... no. When... when I was chasing after you."
Daemon brushes your hair back.
You cannot hold his gaze, "I went to the pit, hoping you'd be there and-" you realize you cannot tell him what happened. You cannot tell him you walked to his mount and his mount did not attack you because he could smell part of him in you. You huff, "-and Caraxes got close and knocked me over."
"Did he try to bite you?"
You debate for a second before shaking your head.
Daemon sighs, "he must have smelled me on you and got excited."
Your throat tightens. Goosebumps form on your arm when Daemon traces your nose with his thumb.
"And your nose bled?"
You do not want to answer.
He sighs, "I will reintroduce you to him, so that he does not act so-"
"It's not his fault!" you blurt, "not really."
He knits his brows.
"When I fainted and fell, my nose already bled, so..." you motion with a finger, "Caraxes simply... set off a previous injury."
He says absolutely nothing.
"My body is weak," you mumble, hoping to explain it better, "I've had worse injuries."
"Do you tell me this so that I will not bring you to Caraxes?"
"No," you shake your head, "no. Just... so you do not..." worry, you almost say, but then the idea feels presumptuous.
"Not fault my beast for acting like one?" Daemon asks, as he heads for his cabinet.
You look at him for a moment then follow. You decide to hum and proceed to help him get undressed.
Your husband examines your face. The moonlight mixed with candlelight makes your skin glow. He is loathe to think your tears add to it, but it's unfortunately true. Your being glistens because of all these things. He interrupts your unbuttoning by taking your cheeks and slowly wiping off the tears on your lashes.
You blink at him, "better?"
"Gevie," he says, brushing your throat with his thumbs.
You nod, though you still did not know what that meant. You push his doublet past his shoulders and once his dress shirt remained, he is quick to remove his shoes as you bring his clothes to the hamper. When you walk back to him, he is picking out clothes from his closet. You are deeply confused when he hands you a stack of shirts.
Daemon moves to his other cabinet and says, "pack those in my trunk for me."
You freeze and blink rapidly, "I-" you turn to his truck, which was atop his closet. Your heart races, "I cannot reach it."
Daemon pulls out more clothing before looking at you. You watch him closely as he stands and reaches for the trunk. He places it on the floor and opens it.
You slowly kneel on the floor beside it, doing your best to keep calm in this moment. Are you leaving? You nearly ask him, but you don't because he clearly is. You begin to fold his clothes, but you cannot hold your peace, "where are you going?"
Daemon stuffs his clothes into his trunk and sighs before crouching down to fix them, "the Stepstones."
"W-what?"
"The Seasnake needs help with the Crabfeeder, so I will help him."
"Why?" you blurt all too quickly.
Daemon straightens up. He looks down at you as you shake your head and quickly finish folding his clothes.
"Why must it be you?"
The voice of his brother rings in his mind. Do you carry such low regard of him just as he? "Why can't it be me?" he snaps, "you think I will be of no help?"
He is taken aback by how you chuck his clothes into his trunk rather aggressively. His face begins to harden with anger but then you make a noise and lean into the trunk, heaving deeply in and out.
"Wha-"
You cut him off by reaching for his legs. He is frozen in place as you embrace him from where you knelt on the floor.
Whatever choler was building in him quickly dissipates and morphs into... fear, or rather, worry. He calls out your name, reaching for your head.
"You cannot leave me," you shudder, gripping his calves for dear life. You look up at him, face wholly distraught but not teary. You find yourself too tired to shed a tear.
Cannot leave you? He does not like the way you imply he would be unable to if he wanted. Daemon watches you as you slowly bring yourself up to a stand. He does not help you as you pull yourself up using his legs and waist.
Your hands remain gripping the sides of his shirt as you stare at him. You take in his stoic expression as you gather the nerve to repeat, "you cannot leave m-"
"And why can't I?" he quips as his insecurity gets ahead of himself.
You hear it in his voice. You hear how he thinks you're challenging him. You shake your head and correct yourself, "n-no," you shudder, "no, Daemon, no. I- I want you to stay." You brush your palms up his chest.
He can feel the tremble of your hands as they come to his cheeks. He knit his brows at your confession. He has to ask, "why?"
You could tell him many reasons. The one possibly most relevant to him is that of the fact you were carrying his unborn child. A shiver runs down your spine; you are not foolish enough to believe this would be something that would make him want to stay. You could always tell him you needed him, your health needed him, because it was true. As much as he clawed your fragile heart, he made it soar in ways you've never experienced. But there was a rather simpler truth to that need, though attached to a very complicated feeling, "because I love you."
Daemon's expression falls. Though his lips barely part, you can tell that he is gobsmacked. You release a shaky breath as you swipe his chin and jaw with the pads of your thumbs.
Should he be so shocked? Love in a marriage is not so uncommon, even if it is arranged, even if it felt opposite in the beginning.
So, what?
What was your love to him? It would wax and wane like his brother's— and his brother, his fucking brother. He could not grant him the satisfaction. Daemon takes you by the wrists and slowly pries you off, "you are mistaken."
You take a deep breath at his words. You are perfectly still.
"I do not feel the same," he mutters.
Daemon was not one to lie, convinced such an act was beneath him, reserved for incapable, lesser men; half-wits, and yellow-bellies. The only reason he could say this was because the cup in which you held your love for him was far deeper than the one he had for you, and he was aware of it. He loved himself far more than he could ever bring himself to love anyone; he would always be first.
Still, he was not an incapable, lesser man, nor was he a half-witted yellow-belly. He knew of the cup he held, which oft overflowed. The mere thought of you triggered a smell in the air, and at the mention of your name, his bones ignited. You were his, and you held his regard, his affection, his lust, and, yes, his love.
All of this, he was about to explain, but then your reaction blind-sided him.
You nod, "I know."
How terrible it was to hear it. He knew his words where callous. He knew wuch an admission is a gash from a jagged blade— to not be loved by who you loved. Yet your casual resignation to this information stung, nay, scorched his heart.
Is it cold? Is his love so dry you cannot even feel it?
His grip on you falters.
You bring your hands to his shoulders. You rub his bicep and smile softly in reassurance, "I do not mind."
"What?"
Your smile widens a fraction, "I know you enjoy the... delicateness of my body, both intimately and-" you motion to yourself, "-regarding my affliction."
He knits his brows.
"It is wholly contrary to yours, and it is mirthful to you," you nod again, "I understand."
"Do you?" he raises his furrowed brows.
You slowly loosen your hold on him. You pull away to fidget with your fingers, "do I not?"
"No," he scoffs under his breath, chest tightening far too much he has to move past you, "I don't think you do."
You are quick to grab him but it slips, "then make me understand."
Daemon stops in his tracks, turning back to you as his breathing picks up.
Your own does the same, but your gasps get shorter and shorter, so much so, you feel yourself get lightheaded. Your husband has to grab you to keep you upright, but you want to show him you have the will to overcome this, that you aren't dead weight, so push him away and mutter, "I- I can do it, Daemon."
He misinterprets you. You scorch him again. He squeezes your arms, "you don't want my help now?"
"No," you say as try to catch your breath, "I- I just-" you cannot continue.
Daemon has to sit you down to help calm you down. He tried to keep you upright, but then he realizes you were consciously trying to lean into his chest, so he lets you. You press your cheek against his warm muscles and sigh at the beat of his heart. You wrap your arms around him, "I want this."
He stares at your brown hair for a moment.
"I want all of this," you sigh, "which is why I want to be what you want me to be."
He finally lets himself embrace you, but just then, you pull away to look at him.
"I can do it," you nod as you take a final deep breath, "I can be a dutiful wife— I will be a dutiful wife. I will not defy you. I will do as you please. I will not expect more than I ought."
"You cannot do everything for me," Daemon says with slight contempt, a line between his brows.
"I-" you shake your head, "... I know," you shake your head faster, taking his hands, "but can I make you stay?"
He looks at how you hold him. He feels sick.
"What can I do to ma-"
"You do not understand," he pulls his hand away, "my brother wants me to leave. He is sick of me and prays for my riddance."
You watch as Daemon stands and paces around.
"He told me to bring you to your twin in Oldtown, and I would sooner eat Caraxes' shit than be tossed aside to the fucking Reach."
You shake your head, "why does he want you to leave?"
"He is weepy over the drunken words I spoke."
"Well, what did you-"
"Does it matter?!" he snaps, raising his hands, "I must leave!"
He is clearly upset. You nod your head and come to a stand, "then I will speak to the k-"
"No!" he shouts, "I will not have my wife act on my behalf, as though I rolled my belly."
"You are not rolling your belly, I am."
"You think there is a fucking difference?!" he quips, marching in front of you, "no! I am to leave in the dawn, so pack my fucking things, woman!"
You grit your teeth in an attempt to steel yourself away. It does not prevent the tears from running down your cheeks.
Daemon's nostrils flare as you go back to his trunk and sort out his clothes. He hears your soft whimpers and slowly begins to deflate. He wipes his face, slowly turning to you. He watches tears drop onto his garbs, "have you nothing to say?"
You sniffle and shake your head rapidly.
"No?!" his expression pinches.
You stand and grab the rest of this clothes. You sniffle with difficulty then sigh deeply. Your voice is shaky, "I want only to please you."
Daemon chuckles dryly, aimlessly looking around, "you think this pleases me?"
"Then tell me what will!" you whip your head around, clutching his clothes tightly in your arms, "I implore you." You step forward and haphazardly drop everything to his trunk, "I cannot please you if you refuse to tell me what you want."
"I want to go to the fucking Stepstones!" he points to nowhere.
You are shattered. How terrible of him to make it so painfully clear that what he wants does not even involve you. He does not want you, or even if he did, you cannot be enough. You lower your gaze.
"I want you to beg me to stay."
You look up at him. You chuckle dryly under your breath when you realize he's being serious. Your sorrow is not enough, it seems, now he wants even your shame.
Daemon tenses when you get on your knees.
You grip the fabric of his trousers as tightly as possible in an attempt to steel yourself, but it does not prevent your tears from falling. You shudder, "please."
"..."
"Stay. I beg you."
Your prince gazes upon your bitterness. He brushes your cheek and feels the coldness of your tears. He sighs because this does not affect him the way he had hoped.
It is not enough.
Dawn breaks, and Caraxes is restless. Daemon's things were being secured on his dragon, but that is not why so many dragon keepers had to keep him in check.
There, by the entrance, you stood with your hands clasped together and your head hung low. Both your wards behind you, eyeing your prince, who was doing his best to calm his ride as the last of his things were readied. Daemon did not know Caraxes was acting this way because of your distress, but the keepers slowly began to realize this was the case.
One of the keepers call out, "ñuha dārilaros, aōha ābrazȳrys." My prince, your wife.
"Rȳbagon, Caraxes!" Daemon snaps at his dragon to listen. Caraxes shakes his head and the prince spares the dragon keeper a glance, "skoros hen zirȳla?" What of her?
"Aōha zaldrīzes kostagon yknagon zirȳla boter." Your dragon can smell her suffering.
The prince turns to you, back to Caraxes, "iksis ziry zirȳla, Caraxes?" Is it her, Caraxes.
You lift your gaze when you hear Daemon call for you. He beckons you over and before you can move, Arryk grabs your arm and whispers, "I do not think this wise."
You slightly turn to him, "he will not harm me. You saw how Caraxes acted yesterday."
"It is not the dragon I worry about."
You look at the man, seeing how his jaw is clenched. You place a hand on his shoulder plate before walking towards your husband.
Rather immediately, there is a shift in Caraxes's demeanor. He huffs and screeches, neck coiling so his head could come near you. Daemon barks out multiple commands and his mount finally obeys.
The prince knits his brows then turns to you, reaching out a hand. You take it and find yourself pulled into your husband's arms. Your skin pricks with goosebumps when he whispers in your ear, "he wants you."
You sigh and close your eyes, resigning yourself to Daemon. He links his fingers into yours and places it atop his dragon's snout.
Caraxes sighs and slightly leans in.
Daemon is astounded by this, "I did not know he could possibly care for someone more than his rider."
You slowly open your eyes and look at the creatures ruby scales. "He does not," you mutter, rubbing one hand on your belly.
He does not hear this. When he turns you around, he catches you rubbing your stomach. He sighs and takes your hand, "do not weep so bitterly."
You cannot do anything but the opposite. Tears stream down your cheeks, "do not be so cruel then."
Daemon watches how your lips wobble. A line forms between his brows, "do not make this harder than it should."
You pull away from him and lower your gaze, "then just leave me now, and spare me the slow torture."
He tenses at your words. His expression hardens, "I did not ask you to see me off."
"Shall I leave then?" you snap, eyes red as you look back at him.
"Yes!"
You grab your skirt and walk towards the twins.
Daemon is stunned. He turns around and watches as you storm off. He calls your name, once, twice, and then he is sobered by the scream of Caraxes. You do not even stop by the entrance anymore, and walk past your kingsguards, who are quick to follow after you.
Here you were doing his bidding, following his wishes, yet there was no satisfaction. All there was... was less of you, less of your strength, your light, your fire.
Daemon turns to Caraxes, who was restless again. He pushes past the dragon keepers and saddles up. He orders Caraxes to start walking, so he does. The blood wrym begins to crawl towards you and the prince has to reel him back, barking out orders of obedience far too loudly.
Caraxes gives a loud screech before following the order. He huffs so deeply that the wind it produces makes you topple.
Your knights are quick to keep you upright, and though you so badly want to turn around, you remind yourself that your husband has done nothing but all he wants since you've wed. If he wanted you to stay, he would have told you.
You wouldn't know then that Daemon made Caraxes stop in his tracks. You wouldn't know that as he watched you walk off, he was mumbling under his breath that you turn around. You just kept walking yet he still waited for you to turn back, even after your figure had disappeared.
He would also never know that you headed down to the docks near the Keep, just to watch Caraxes fly away one last time. He would never know how your skin pricked with gooseflesh at the sight of the red winged beast soaring above. He would never know how hard it became for you to breathe.
"Gods, please," you mumble as your eyes endlessly watered, "swiftly return him to me."
Arryk and Erryk, stood on either side of you, glared at the sky as they heard your broken voice. They were on high alert as the docks were busy at this hour, and yet, it was necessary to convey their contempt, even if the person it was meant for could not see.
"Give me back my husband," you look at your reflection in the water, "or take me to my mother."
Before your words even register to either of the twins, you've already jumped into the water. Erryk nearly jumps in with you before realizing his armor would surely make him sink. "PRINCESS!" he screams as he undoes his armor.
"THE PRINCESS!" Arryk screams to the fisherman, "SHE'S FALLEN INTO THE WATER!"
The commotion is great. It is loud and frantic, yet as your body plunges and slowly begins to float, you care little. You feel someone fish you out of the water by the arm, and you want nothing more than to break free and swim towards your demise. But then, you hear your wards calling out your name, and you realize you cannot.
You say nothing once you are on land.
Both Cargylls has a hand on your arm, and each of them are worriedly questioning you, "are you alrigh- what happe- what were you thinki- are you faint- my princess-"
"I need to see him," you say.
Arryk and Erryk freeze. The look at each other, not knowing what to say. Arryk offers, "my princess. I fear you cannot see Dae-"
"Not him," you look between them as you gather your skirts. It is arduous, as it is soaking wet.
Otto was on his way back from the scrolls room when hears the shout from across the hall. He tenses like a rock at the recognition of his daughter's voice.
You hadn't realized how tired you were until you saw him. Your knees immediately buckle and you fall to the floor as you call out, "papa!"
The Lord Hand dashes to you, dropping the scrolls he had along the way. He gets on his knees and picks you up. He is aghast by your dripping state, and his anger is soon turned on your incompetent guards, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY GIRL?"
"Papa," you mutter once you are in his arms.
Otto cradles you, looking down at your sorry form. A deep line is between his brows.
"He left me," you whisper, tears wetting your already wet cheeks.
Daemon. Lord Hightower clenches his jaw. It's always fucking him. "Come, my girl," he mutters, trying to bring you to your feet, "let's get you-"
Your voice is soft, yet it still cuts him off, "you must not leave me."
Otto is frozen. Arryk and Erryk are frozen too.
"If you leave me too, I do not think I will survive."
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The way I pulled up my notes app for this chapter. Because lemme tell you, I have thoughts!!!
He opens his eyes and stares at the point that represented the Smith. He grits his teeth before sighing in defeat, "Smith, fortifier... mender... I beg," he sighs, "mend her heart. Mend her body. I beseech you. Let not my prayer fall deaf on your ears any longer."
Once again, I can't. I simply can't with your Otto. Every time we get to his pov i feel my heart squeezing through my ribcage because ouch. I can't hate him like I often do in other fics because Otto loves his girl. So much so. But yet he cannot help hurting her.
I wonder what it would be like for Otto to come to the realisation that he played a hand in his daughter's doom, that he's partly the reason for her weakened heart.
The candlelight before him glows as he waits another day for the answer to his decade old prayer.
And I also wonder how he would feel to know that while he prays for her heart "to be mended", she's also praying for her suffering to end, but in an all too dissimilar way...
(Also the parallel between reader praying to the Stranger for death and Otto praying to the Mother to "mend" her is fucking genius. Author you were insane for this).
Daemon sighed contentedly on your chest, one arm and leg draped over you.
STOP I CANT TAKE THIS GAHHHHHHH SLEEPY DAEMON BEING A CUTIE LOVESICK CLINGY PUPPY
You stare at the top of his head, continuing to brush through his silver hair. In truth, you did not want to rise. You wanted to stay in this peace, in this stillness. It would not last long, you knew it— you dreaded it.
Petition for Daemon to not have any thoughts for a day. His only job would be to be our girl's stress relief toy. (No because if he decides to be a bitch again and insult my girlie or pull some shit ill dracarys his ass w caraxes)
That was why dread rippled across your skin, for could there ever be a world where Daemon purposefully pulled out and is not angered by this news, where he does not accuse you of infidelity?
NO PLS because I've been already trying to pretend that the baby doom is not looming over our heads (because I know shits about to go down and it's not going to be pretty) but the possibility he might accuse her of infidelity??? Maybe with one of the cargyll twins OR BOTH??? omg daemon if it happens you're going to catch these hands ✋️
You try to convince yourself that all will be well, but each time you do, another part of your mind raises that nothing's ever been well with you. You decide then, even if just for this moment, you will pretend the calmness of your husband will remain.
My sweet baby angel, you deserve the WHOLE SEVEN REALMS AND BEYOND </3
"Sesīr isse ñuha ēdrugon, jaelan ao." Even in my sleep, I want you.
As you fucking should man. Took you long enough to realise that, you oblivious moron, I've been saying that for the last four (?) chapters!!!!
There is a languidness to his movements unlike you've ever experienced. His normally brash and pointed demeanor is soft and gentle, his kisses even more so. There is no sense of urgency whatsoever as he rolls his hips against you. If you didn't know any better, you would have believed that he wanted to savor the moment.
He did. He wanted to savor your body, as dreaming of it had him feeling some indistinguishable way. You would never know this though, for he would never tell you.
No no no nooooo. Everything about this hurts. The tenderness of their love-making (Yes, love), the faint hints of vulnerability from daemon and perhaps the most of the softness he will ever show because that's all that has been ingrained in him.
He's known as the Rogue Prince. He's known to be reckless, harsh, ambitious and power hungry. He's not known to be tender, soft or vulnerable. That's not what's expected of him.
And so, she will never know what he was truly feeling at that moment and that her assumptions, which she presumed to be folly, were actually true.
Mc is the definition of "always an angel, never a god" and it HURTS.
He does the strangest thing however, and simply brushes his cheek back. He pulls his head back, looking down at you, "litse riña." Pretty girl.
I'm just going to sit here and sob. That's all I'm going to say.
Before you could even finish, your two servant girls are waking in, and Daemon watches them as they head for your bathroom, horribly and painfully unaware of him. He waits for them to reemerge, and the moment they do, he is instantly screaming, "FUCK OFF, CUNTS! THE DOOR'S CLOSED FOR A REASON."
BYE WHY'S THAT SO FUNNY I CANT LMFAO 💀💀 Daemon how are they supposed to know that a wet dream about your wife made you realise that you love her and you want to smell her shampoo and inhale her?????? Bfr
"I don't give a fuck," he quips, tightening his hold on you, "they'll know better now."
Omg promise???
Arryk, who had been stationed outside your door for a while now, is concerned by this. He raps at the entrance to your room and calls your name. When he receives no response, he peaks inside and inspects the stillness of it all. Unnerved by the idea you were sleeping in, he thinks the worse and walks in, calling your name again. His breath is forced down his throat when he sees the flash of white hair on the bed. He sees a hand rub down a toned back and he immediately reels back, quiet and as quick as he possibly can.
Is it bad I forgot about the twins for a second 😭 my heart is breaking for arryk but ugh them being domestic and sleeping in and her hand rubbing down his back. I was not prepared for so much wholesome content (it's low-key scaring me)
A rich chuckle rumbles from his chest. He opens his eyes and they twinkle with mischief, "I could feed you something meaty."
Your face contorts, "I do not think you'd want me to bite your cock, my prince."
Daemon laughs, hard enough to fully awaken him. He wheezes, and rolls of your chest, "I did-" sigh, "not say it was-" wheeze, "my cock."
You hum, "oh, of course not. Apologies."
Your sarcasm only maddens him further into amusement.
Everything about this whole interaction is so adorable 😭😭 my heart cannot take it 😭😭
Daemon getting a glimpse of our girl's true personality in a rare instance of domesticity because all the other times they've been together, he was too busy hurting Otto through her.
And mc letting her guard down, ever so, briefly!! It always makes me so happy, even though it's understandable that the slightest hint of incitement would make her pull her walls up. But it's such a progress from their first interactions where she was shaking at the sight of him. Although it does scare me, because I do not trust Daemon to not fuck up and break her trust.
"You are not your father's daughter," he says so casually.
This is the closest we will get to an "I love you" from our emotionally constipated dragon rider. ILL TAKE IT!
"You are the gods promise to me. A woman made to sate my fire."
There's something stirring in my stomach...I don't know if it's good or bad.
DAEMON TARGARYEN IS BRAIDING HIS WIFE'S HAIR. EVERYBODY SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. Author what are you doing to me????? AND HIM SPEAKING AND TEACHING HER VALYRIAN I WILL THROW MYSELF OFF A WINDOW.
Daemon does not spare him a glance. Beautiful, it meant, but he instead tells you, "it is a secret."
Boo you coward.
Arryk clenches his jaw but forces himself to smile back at you. He is uneasy by the prospect, knowing how fickle and volatile Daemon can become regarding you. He stares at your joined hands as you walk away, deciding to trust the prince for your sake.
You and me both Arryk. I just, gawd, seeing hightower princess being happy, loved and doted on, with the absence of fear or dread was so so so beautiful. I loved all the scenes and the little details you added between daemon and the reader, with her attempting to speak valyrian and the way they were able to read each other's body language in the throes of passion. It was sooo indescribably stunning, only you can do it.
But I'm so ridiculously scared now I can't explain it. With Otto, Daemon and the Cargyll Twins, I fear the worst is about to come and hightower princess is going to get crushed in the middle of it. (Otto is it so hard to overlook your ambition for your daughter for once?)
As always author, I loved every second of this chapter 🫶🏻🫶🏻 I'm so honoured to be able to read your genius.
Tormented Spirit | 8
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 3k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, smut (piv, morning sex, come marking?, cock warming) DOWN BAD!DAEMON, DD:DNE, panic/anxiety attacks, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: this chapter became 6k+ words so i had to split it T_T. at least that means i'll be updating relatively faster lol. i hope you enjoy since all the fluff is here HAHAHAH and if you do, please leave a comment/reblog to let me know <3 <3 <3. once again, the high valyrian is internet translated, so it might be wrong. | cross posted on ao3
@arabellasleopardcoat @prettybiching
Otto nods as he passes a group of clergy members. He makes his way down the otherwise empty temple, eyes forward as he clutches a firm figurine in his hand. He grunts as he gets down on his knees in front of a fresco of the seven pointed star.
He lights three candles in front of him, saying three different names each time. He places the figurine he brought with him beside them. Of course, it wasn't a figurine but a woolen doll. He says another name, your name, then starts this prayers.
"Father, guard my family through this trying time, my son, my daughters... my daughter," he brushes the face of the doll then closes his eyes. "Stranger, put the souls of the departed Queen Aemma and Prince Baelon to rest.
"Warrior, strengthen my daughter and spare her and her unborn child from succumbing the same fate. Mother, grant her comfort and good health through her journey to motherhood. Crone, guide her and grant her good discernment, so that she may not fear the unknown. Maiden, preserve her beauty, her light."
He opens his eyes and stares at the point that represented the Smith. He grits his teeth before sighing in defeat, "Smith, fortifier... mender... I beg," he sighs, "mend her heart. Mend her body. I beseech you. Let not my prayer fall deaf on your ears any longer."
The candlelight before him glows as he waits another day for the answer to his decade old prayer.
Meanwhile, the candles in your room have long been put out, including the one you normally keep lit by your bed. You are first to rouse today, and yet you could not rise from bed, as you were pressed beneath the body of your husband. Daemon sighed contentedly on your chest, one arm and leg draped over you. You have never slept together (or so you think) so you figured that Daemon was probably moved a lot in his sleep, which is how you both ended up in this position.
You stare at the top of his head, continuing to brush through his silver hair. In truth, you did not want to rise. You wanted to stay in this peace, in this stillness. It would not last long, you knew it— you dreaded it.
Goosebumps form on your skin when you feel your husband's hand brush over your belly before hooking on to your hip. You begin to feel your heart race as you remember what your father told you the night before.
How could you tell him? How could you possibly tell Daemon that you were with child, when you knew he was so diligent in assuring you would not be? Was it even possible to carry his seed when he never finished inside you?
Against yourself, you remember the day you caught Gwayne kissing a lady behind a curtain, and how you attacked him because you thought he had gotten her pregnant. The poor girl ran away as you beat your twin, and Gwyane defended himself, saying that's not how you do it. You did not know any better, so you told him you did not believe him and nearly forced him to go to your father to announce you would be marrying the lady. He, in turn had to explain what he knew, to both your horror.
You were no fool to believe the words of your stupid twin, so you made it your mission to find out the truth. After sneaking books from the Citadel itself, you read many a book only to find out your twin was telling you the truth.
That was why dread rippled across your skin, for could there ever be a world where Daemon purposefully pulled out and is not angered by this news, where he does not accuse you of infidelity?
You go between worry and peace as you brush your fingers across the prince's skin. You try to convince yourself that all will be well, but each time you do, another part of your mind raises that nothing's ever been well with you. You decide then, even if just for this moment, you will pretend the calmness of your husband will remain.
But the world is cruel, for at this same moment, Daemon awakens.
He stirs with a groan, face rubbing against your sternum. The robe you had on was no longer covering your chest. Your heart races as he looks up at you, his violet eyes still sleepy, "sȳz ñāqes."
You do not understand, but you assume it means good morning, and so you say, "good morning."
Daemon sighs as he pushes himself up, removing his pants. You tense as he comes atop you and kisses your neck. He nudges your head to the side with his own and soon, he pushes your legs apart with his knees.
Your hands come to his hip bones, where you then dig your nails in, making him groan. You whimper when you feel him grind his groin into yours. He is half-hard.
"Sesīr isse ñuha ēdrugon, jaelan ao." Even in my sleep, I want you.
You whimper yet again when he begins to rock against you, digging your nails deeper into him.
"Gīda ilagon," he mutters as he fully parts your robe, repeating in common tongue, "calm down."
You are taken aback by how he pecks your lips once before kissing your neck again.
"Dreamt about fucking your pretty cunny," he mutters lowly between kisses, "wanna make it real."
His words make you ache and throb. In a way, you were comforted by the thought Daemon wanted you, even if it was just your body. You close your eyes and let yourself relax. You sigh against his ear, nuzzling into his shoulder, and brush your hand up his back. As your hands trail to his biceps, his skin breaks out with gooseflesh and a high pitched whimper leaves his lips.
"Fuuuuuuck," he whines out rather pathetically.
There is a languidness to his movements unlike you've ever experienced. His normally brash and pointed demeanor is soft and gentle, his kisses even more so. There is no sense of urgency whatsoever as he rolls his hips against you. If you didn't know any better, you would have believed that he wanted to savor the moment.
He did. He wanted to savor your body, as dreaming of it had him feeling some indistinguishable way. You would never know this though, for he would never tell you.
By the time, you've become shaky and your cunt was absolutely sopping wet because of Daemon's now fully hard cock rubbing up against it, he finally pushes into you, drawing out a deep groan from your throat. You tighten your legs and arms around him and your teeth sink into his shoulder.
Daemon grips your thighs as he thrusts into you. He barely pulls out, seemingly determined to go deeper and deeper each time, wanting— needing to be pressed flush into you. His hands sneak beneath you, fingers raking up your shoulder blades to your nape before tangling into your brown hair. He breathes heavily against your ear as your bodies grow hotter and hotter.
You both remain in this snug position, doing this constricted dance until your bellies begin to burn. He doesn't speed up at all or pull out any more than he already has. You feel your body begin to tense and your climax begin to build, and then, just then, a spirit overcomes Daemon.
The next moment, he has his hand on your jaw, forcing your head back. Just as you reach your peak, he pulls out and thrusts his wet cock on your slick fold, once, twice, until his hard member is soft and twitching. His load shoots out up to your chest and sputters down on your belly, garnering a surprised gasp from you. It's hot and viscous against your skin and you wonder what it would have felt like had he released in you. There's so much of it too.
"Fuck, fuck, fu-" Daemon repeats, thinking the exact same thing you were.
You expect him to roll over, because there is no way he wouldn't after soiling you, but you gasp yet again as he comes crashing down on you, skin sticking with a squelch.
He is arrested by your warmth and wants nothing but to plunge into you again. So, in his greed, he grabs his still twitching cock and pushes it into you, releasing a long and throaty groan as he does so. It makes you tremble and whimper his name. You were not expecting the intrusion, so you brush your cheek against his, hoping he understands to give you a moment of repose before going again.
After a while, though you still felt tender from your orgasm, you brush your cheek against him once more, signaling you were ready for him again.
He does the strangest thing however, and simply brushes his cheek back. He pulls his head back, looking down at you, "litse riña." Pretty girl.
You notice the softness of his violet eyes and knit your brows at it. He is so overwhelming you cannot help but kiss him. There was still remnants of morning breath in your mouths, but neither of you cared.
Daemon is loathed to have you pull away. He leans into your touch as you brush his unruly hair back. You slowly shake your head, "I do not understand, my prince."
"iksā sīr rāpa se bāne," you are so soft and warm. He brushes your noses together, "ñuha ābrazȳrys," my wife.
A line forms between your brows at the foreign tongue. You wait for him to translate as he brings his hand to your cheek. He stares at you for a long moment, thumb brushing your skin.
He makes no attempt to decode the High Valyrian for you, and soon, a knock comes upon your door.
Daemon is instantly irritated as he glares over his shoulder, muttering, "who the fuck is that?"
"My servants. I-"
Before you could even finish, your two servant girls are waking in, and Daemon watches them as they head for your bathroom, horribly and painfully unaware of him. He waits for them to reemerge, and the moment they do, he is instantly screaming, "FUCK OFF, CUNTS! THE DOOR'S CLOSED FOR A REASON."
You hear their gasps, squeals, and apologies before scurrying off, slamming the door behind them as they did.
Instantly, yet again, Daemon relaxes and nuzzles against your neck.
"D-Daemon," you whisper, sinking your fingers into his long hair, "they normally wake me up at-"
"I don't give a fuck," he quips, tightening his hold on you, "they'll know better now."
You clench your jaw and sigh, making mental note to apologize to your girls for the prince's actions.
You begin to doze off, as does Daemon in all his gluttonous glory. The two of you stay in bed until lunch time, which is far longer than you've ever personally stayed.
Arryk, who had been stationed outside your door for a while now, is concerned by this. He raps at the entrance to your room and calls your name. When he receives no response, he peaks inside and inspects the stillness of it all. Unnerved by the idea you were sleeping in, he thinks the worse and walks in, calling your name again. His breath is forced down his throat when he sees the flash of white hair on the bed. He sees a hand rub down a toned back and he immediately reels back, quiet and as quick as he possibly can.
You wake the second time because of the growling of your stomach. It is loud and painful, so much so, it wakes your husband.
He groans, brushing his nose against you, "hungry?"
You huff, craning your neck to look at him, finding his closed eyes, "clearly, I'm starving."
A rich chuckle rumbles from his chest. He opens his eyes and they twinkle with mischief, "I could feed you something meaty."
Your face contorts, "I do not think you'd want me to bite your cock, my prince."
Daemon laughs, hard enough to fully awaken him. He wheezes, and rolls of your chest, "I did-" sigh, "not say it was-" wheeze, "my cock."
You hum, "oh, of course not. Apologies."
Your sarcasm only maddens him further into amusement.
You take this as a chance to wriggle away from him, and so you do. The semen still on your skin is tepid and pasty as it smears against your chests. Your robe is completely lose as you come to a stand. You decide not to dirty your garment with Daemon's seed by covering yourself, so you head for the bathroom with your robe open.
You gasp at the swiftness of how your are grabbed and pulled back. Your body collides into Daemon's chest. Your care for your satin robe if for naught, because it sticks on his come anyway. Daemon's is hypnotized by your scent. He is quick to brush your hair over shoulder and mumble against your nape, "you wound me with your eagerness to flee me, wife."
His hands come to squeeze your breasts and you whimper as you turn to him. You knit your brows and pout, "that is not true."
"No?" he says a little louder than he ought as his emotions slightly get ahead of him, "are you not running from me this moment?"
You frown and fully face him, having to peel your robe off his chest as you do, "I'm simply going to bathe." You stare at his chest, "you've made a mess of me."
Daemon tilts his head, "not nearly enough, in my opinion."
You find the self-satisfied grin on his face, "you should too bathe with me."
"Mmm, well then," he takes your hand, "bathe we shall."
The water that your servants had brought was now cold, but you both made do with what you had. Daemon is simultaneously unsurprised and taken aback by how you tend to him first, he does not know why. You've bathed him once before, and yet it somehow feels different. You scrub his chest with cloth and inspire him to do the same for you. You lean into his touch as he washes you off, and it makes his stomach roll.
He takes a good look at you, your skin, the marks he left on it, your nose, your knees, your hair, everything, and he cannot believe something so... so immaculate, so resplendent could be borne from a man so detestable.
"You are not your father's daughter," he says so casually.
You look up at him, freezing because of his random sentiment.
"You are the gods promise to me. A woman made to sate my fire."
Your brows knit at his words. You tilt your head and it makes him nearly goes mad. How darling you ask, "I sate your fire?"
He hums and pulls you into him, kissing your arm as he did, "stoke, perhaps, is truer."
Your breath hitches when he brings you to his lap. He sighs as he feels your flesh against his, it wont be long until he's hard all over again. He licks a stripe up your left breast, "I am, in fact, insatiable."
Your heart races and he peppers kisses up your neck. You lean your forehead against his after kissing your lips. You whisper in earnest, "I will try."
Daemon pulls back, hands coming to your neck as he looks at you.
"I will try to sate you."
Fuck. The thought should have made him laugh, but it doesn't. It makes him burn. He cannot say anything, for his mouth seeks yours. He kisses your lips and you two sequentially spend another hour or so turning the water warm as it splashes all over the floor.
You're antsy and eager to feast by the end of it all.
You help each other get dressed, and Daemon finds the way you hastily button his doublet ever-so-endearing. When it's his turn to help, he shushes you and rubs your shoulders before securing your corset from behind, "your food will not fly off the window."
You rub your aching stomach, "I pray it flies into my mouth soon."
He snickers as he finishes tying your laces.
You quickly run towards the vanity and hastily begin to brush your still damp hair.
He watches bounce your leg and the faintest of smiles graces his lips. He watches your chest begin to rise and fall rather quickly, and soon his brows furrow. He walks up behind you, "aeritta run." Restless thing.
He takes your hand and your jaw, but it is unlike most times he does so. His touch is gentle. He does not force you to do hand your brush or look forward, but you do. You look at each other from the mirror; your chest continues to heave.
"Paez ilagon," Daemon enunciates, "say it for me, won't you?"
Your brows furrow in slight confusion. You release a breath, "pez ilegon."
"Paez," he corrects.
"Paez."
"Good," he nods, "ilagon."
"Il... Ilagon."
"Rōvēgrior," Daemon leans in and mumbles against your temple, "excellent. Now..." he kisses your temple, "once more: paez ilagon."
You take a breath, doing your best to mimic his accent, "pa...ez i- ... lagon."
"Arlī," again, he motions with his pointer, "speak confidently."
"Daemon."
"You can do it," he tilts his head at your reflection, "paez ilagon."
You sigh and nod your head, "paez ilagon."
His violet eyes twinkle, "rōvēgrior," excellent, he claps his hands, "spoken like a true Valyrian."
You turn to him, breath hitching at the sight of his smile, "wha-"
Daemon takes your face and makes you turn forward.
You look at his reflection and grip your skirt, fearing you'd upset him. But then he begins to style your hair and your butterflies overcome your belly. You try to ignore the thump of your heart by clearing your throat, "what d-does it mean?"
"Paez ilagon is slow down."
"Ahhh," your jaw drops in slight embarrassment, "I see."
Daemon points, "hand me your pin."
You get the hair pin on the vanity and hand it over, "and the other one?"
"Hmm?"
"Ro... roz- rovevegregor."
Daemon tilts his head as he chuckles through his nostrils, a soft smile remaining on his face as he finishes securing your hair in a similar manner he does himself.
You witness all of this and your heart skips a beat.
"Rōvēgrior," he repeats, "try to roll your tongue."
"..."
"Go on."
"RRRRozeofoieve-"
He laughs and takes a hair tie from the table. He quickly does his own hair then takes you by the hand. He ushers you to the door as he continues to chuckle, "we should get you something to eat. You should ill."
You are hypnotized by his melodic laugh. You don't dare interrupt it, so you whisper under your breath, mostly to yourself, "but what does it mean?"
"Excellent," he says, hearing your whisper. He opens the door for you, "it means excellent, gevie."
You do not notice Arryk as you exit your chambers, "but what about that?"
Daemon does not notice him either, "what?"
"Ge- gevie?"
"Gevie?" he repeats.
You nod.
Arryk bows and greets you, "princess."
You turn to him as he bows again, "my prince."
Daemon does not spare him a glance. Beautiful, it meant, but he instead tells you, "it is a secret."
You do not respond to Daemon, but he does not mind. He is fully content to stare at you. You smile at your ward, taking a second to guess who it is, "good morn, ser. Are you... Erryk?"
Arryk examines you, finally breathing a sigh of relief to know you are unharmed. He is also glad to see you are not dressed in attire that... exposes the good works of your husband. In the same second, he notices your said husband, and how keenly is gaze is set upon your beaming form. He clenches his jaw, "nay, your grace. Neither am I my brother, nor is it morning."
"Oh," you purse your lips, "my apologies, dear Arryk."
Daemon quickly pulled out of his haze, raising a brow at dear Arryk, "you may go."
Arryk turns to him.
"I will keep my wife company today," he says, wasting no more time in idle chatter, taking you by the hand.
You both walk off and you offer Arryk a smile and nod in regard.
Arryk clenches his jaw but forces himself to smile back at you. He is uneasy by the prospect, knowing how fickle and volatile Daemon can become regarding you. He stares at your joined hands as you walk away, deciding to trust the prince for your sake.
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women in STEM (shitty posture, tired all the time, eyebags, miserable)
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Okay. Okay.
*deep breaths*
Girl (gn), the gasp I just let out terrified the ghosts in my room.
First and foremost, I love love loveeeee her scenes with the Cargyll brothers always. The way we always see her as *herself*, beyond her ailment, beyond her concerns of putting up an act, both as a Hightower daughter and/or a Targaryen wife. She's just herself, without being worried that she's disappointing Otto or Daemon.
And the way she's so playful with Erryk 😭😭 it made me sob because it was probably the first time in a long time that she was able to be that happy and cheerful, pulling pranks on a friend that sees her for who she is! (I don't even want to think about the fact that the last time she experienced something like this was probably in old town w gwayne when they were children)
I love the way you portray Otto's relationship with the reader because he's not black and white with his motives, only using his daughter to raise his House's standing. Rather, he's a complex character with layers, he's still a father - albeit a shitty one at that.
He loves his daughter, in his own twisted way. How he ensures that she's not having a fit before dropping the baby bomb on her. He worries for her, knows her ticks. But it's the way he uses his love and knowledge regarding her to get his own way and to get the reaction he wants out of her that's the most twisted.
Also, I love how we're seeing mc slowly but surely starting to stand up for herself. WE LOVE GROWTH IM SO PROUD OF HER, I COULD CRY.
Day 173822 of begging daemon to just be normal for once in his life.
Honestly speaking, I was one of the few that voted for reader to prioritise herself and not go after either gwayne or daemon but ohh!!! I loved loved loved this scene.
Her realising that she's going to have to get used to not having gwayne at every turn and stopping herself. Ugh, my heart hurts.
ALSO DAEMON YOU LITTLE RAT, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT BEING MAD AT MY GIRL FOR NOT BEING THERE WHEN YOU DEGRADED HER THE LAST TIME AND NOT IN THE SEXY WAY!!!!
Her telling him to speak what he wants and not twist his words is soooo real. YES GIRLL SET IT STRAIGHT WE DONT WANT EXTRA HEADACHES IN OUR LIVES!!
I just remembered that she still thinks that night was a dream and I'm heartbroken again </3
Pls daemon why do you have to choose aggression and rage every fucking time. Just be cute for once ugghhh.
"Please," you beg, though you knew it would not serve you well, "stay."
prettybiching.exe has stopped responding. Please try again later.
Nahhh I can't do this fam, good bye. I'm going to touch some grass.
Good night. Au revoir. Author, I love you. Thank you for blessing me with your brain and words. Please never stop <3
(ps I'd love to be added to the taglist, please and thanks!)
Tormented Spirit | 7
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, smut (cunnilingus, piv, choking, degradation, slight sadism), DD:DNE, panic/anxiety attacks, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: again the high valyrian is internet translated so lol. please consider leaving comments/reblogs because they really help me with the fic. might make another poll for next chapter stay tuned. | cross posted on ao3
@arabellasleopardcoat
Taking you to the hidden stream was simultaneously the best and worst decision Erryk's ever made in his life. The look of you was holy. His intense focus on your form was to ensure your safety, but, by the gods, it felt sinful to behold your dark hair and light fabric ebbing in the water.
He had hoped a swim would lift your spirits, just as flower picking did, but he did not know it would draw such a tempest out of you. It was as though you were reborn. You plunged into the water and shed all your inhibitions. Your voice became brighter, as did your eyes. You were flooded with more than a dozen memories of you and your twin swimming in the river near your home in Oldtown, and you recounted all of them so excitedly to Erryk.
"Oh!' you exclaim, flipping in the water to get to your feet. You point to something behind your ward, making him turn around. In that split second, you hold in your laughter and grab something from the mossy rocks. Innocently, you say, "that reminds me of something."
Erryk turns back to you, brows knit in confusion. When you you make your way towards him, he clenches his jaw and averts his gaze. The shift you were swimming in was stuck flush on your body, leaving little to his imagination. He was glad to have the foresight to bring you a change of clothes and a towel, and, my, was the pattern on the said towel so very interesting.
"What is a frogs favorite game?" you ask so suddenly.
Erryk turns to you, brows furrowing, "pardon?"
"Tell me the frogs' favorite game, ser," you repeat as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Frogs favored game?" he repeats slowly, realizing now that your expression was mockingly innocent. He hums, "I cannot say I-"
"HOPSCOTCH!"
A frog comes leaping into Erryk's face, nearly causing him to topple as he dodges it. He's so flabbergasted by the turn of events, he calls out your name in offence. He is doubly offended by your laughter. His eyes go wide as you hunch forward, leaning on your knees.
"Villain," your ward mutters, scoffing far too many times.
You can barely catch your breath. You fan your face, "frog-ive me."
Erryk's face only contorts further.
"I could not-" you gasp for air, "could not help it."
In truth, if it was any other who did such a childish thing, he'd have shoved them in the water. Alas, you appeared only more beauteous as you made him a fool.
"Forgive me," you repeat in more serious manner, "Gwayne used to scare me this way often. I wished only to know how it felt, and now..." you giggle, "I can't say I blame my brother for constantly pulling tricks on me."
He huffs and shakes his head, "well. I'm glad to have pleased you, my ever-so-kind princess."
You offer him a guilty smile, "apologies."
Erryk shakes his head, "no. Truly. I am glad to see you in such a state."
You fidget with your fingers as a shiver runs down your spine.
He is quick to unravel your towel. He places it on your shoulders, "perhaps we should go back. The sunset is nigh."
You nod, taking your change of clothes from him next.
He turns around offering you your privacy. It takes a while, but you manage to dress yourself. Once you had your shoes on, you dry your hair with your towel and take his arm, "would you please lace up my dress?"
He nods, avoiding your gaze as he feels his face burn. He quickly laces you up then you return to the Keep.
You both had been laughing, up until you made it past the castle gates, promptly being silenced by the loud shout, "PRINCESS!"
Arryk runs over, charging for his brother. Their steel plates collide as Arryk yanks his twin, "where in gods name did you take her?"
Erryk furrows his brows, "we visited a stream-"
"The Keep is in disarray!" Arryk grits his teeth, hissing under his breath, "everyone's looking for her. Everyone."
You watch the twins huddle close and bicker. As it escalates, you try try to come between them, "Arryk. I was the one who asked him to take me outside the keep."
Arryk does not hear you at first, dead set on arguing with his twin. When you repeat your words the second time however, he turns to you, face softening a fraction. He knits his brows turning back to this brother, whispering something that makes Erryk turn to you with wide eyes, "fuck."
"Why?" you look at them in concern, "what it is?"
Arryk opens his mouth, but Erryk grabs his arm and says, "wait."
"There's no other way to say it," Arryk snaps, ripping his arm out his grip.
"Say what?" you knit your brows.
Arryk turns back to you, then lowers his gaze, "the queen... the queen has passed."
Your jaw drops. Your eyes widen. Your hand immediately covers your mouth. The three of you do not speak for a prolonged moment.
You feel your stomach roll, "w-what happened?"
"She could not deliver the babe herself. The maesters... had to intervene."
Intervene? You could not possibly understand what that could mean, and you find that you do not want to. You shake your head, "and her babe? Is- is her babe well at least?"
Arryk clenches his jaw, "she sired a prince named Baelon... he apparently grows weaker by the hour."
You feel bile rise up your throat.
"Your father and your siblings have been looking for you since news broke."
You shake your head, and gather your skirts.
"As has the prince."
Your face twitches at the thought. You do not delay and make your way inside the Keep.
As you tread the halls, you think about what the queen told you just mere hours ago. There is a sharp twinge in your belly as simultaneously remember how Aemma told you to go cheer for Daemon at the tourney and realize you will never hear a word from her ever again. The thought washes over you like water on the beach, sobering but thankfully not overwhelming.
You hadn't realized you had your head bowed until you hear your name called. You still as you look up, the twins halt behind you.
Otto marches over, brows and jaw tight as ever, "where in gods name have you been?"
You straighten your back as he stops before you, "I-"
"Your wards are double," he turns to the kingsguards, "and doubly useless, it seems."
"Father," you step into his line of sight, "do relieve your rage on them."
Your father turns back to you, expression softening a fraction at your referral. You had not called him father since your argument in the maester's office. He looks at you— takes a good look at you and your sad eyes, your knit brows, your frowning lips. Your hair was darker than it was normally, and as he reaches out for it, he found it was, in fact, damp, "where have you been?"
"I..." you gulp and take a deep breath, "went swimming."
He releases your hair, tilting his head, "with whom? Gwayne has gone."
You pull your head back, "G-Gwayne's gone?"
"The tourney is over. The road is long. He has no reason to stay," Otto says.
Your brows tighten as you shake your head, "he... he didn't... wait for me?"
Otto watches your lips quiver. He watches your nose twitch. When your chest begins to visibly rise and fall, he shakes his head, "what did I tell you?"
You stare blankly at him.
He takes your hands, "what is it I always tell you?"
You clench your jaw and huff through your nostrils, "do not waste your tears on things you cannot change."
Otto rubs your knuckles as he shakes his head again. He gives the Cargyll brothers a look before walking off with you. They make sure to keep their distance before following after.
You turn to your father as he links your arm into his. You are certain, with how he cannot look at you, that he means to tell you something grave. You look front and mimic his demeanor— distant, cold. You are his daughter, face and temperance.
"You enjoyed your swim at least?" he starts, "you are calm?"
You gulp, mentally preparing yourself for what will surely come next. Your voice still falters though, "ye-s."
Otto nods, still not turning to you, "many has occurred since your marriage to Daemon. You admitted you did not consummate your marriage on your wedding night and I was deeply concerned you would fail your duties in producing heirs, especially if your husband was not interested in you."
Your jaw clenches.
"But with the apparent... change of heart your husband has shown, you should know I've had the maesters closely monitor your state."
You knit your brows at that, "you mean my affliction?"
He speaks your name slowly before continuing, "as of yesterday, they have confirmed to me that you are with child."
You whip your head to him and pull away.
Otto does not look at you with the same sense of urgency.
"W-what?"
He sees the fear on your features. He offers a solemn expression and takes your cheeks when your eyes water, "this is good. You should delight, not tremble."
You try to speak but nothing coherent comes out.
"The Queen is dead. Go to your husband and comfort him with this news."
Your mouth goes dry and your father wipes the tears that fall from your eyes. He your name softly. Your sad face looks the exact same it did when his wife died. My baby is having a baby. He frowns and pulls away.
You try to take his hand, but he slips away.
"See her off," the Hand instructs your wards.
Erryk is quick to go to your side, whereas Arryk stares at the back of Otto's head, his lips curling as he did.
"Princess," Erryk says, cautiously reaching your arm.
You turn to him with wide eyes before scratching your tears away, "I-"
"Perhaps you should sit down first."
You pull away from him before he can touch you. The action makes Erryk pull back, an unsavory sensation spreading in his mouth and belly.
"I want to- I—" you take a breath, "I need to find-" you shake your head and begin speeding down the hall.
You were nearly about to break into a sprint, and your wards had to jog up to your side to keep up with you. You don't really know where you're going, but you're getting there, fast.
"Princess, please, slow down," one says.
You can feel your breath and your pulse in your ears.
"Princess."
You find yourself in the halls near one of the gate of the keep. The only reason why you stop is because you hear the voice of your twin. Your breath catches as you lurch towards the window. Gwayne was laughing with one of the guards, already on his horse. Your brows furrow, he couldn't possibly be well enough to be riding on horseback.
You realize quickly this is your last opportunity to go be with your brother, to pull him into an embrace, to worry on him, to tell him your worries, to kiss him goodbye. You know you have to act now and swiftly, but you cannot seem to move.
Your mind is heavy as you think about how your brother is set to leave regardless of your desire to keep close; he said it himself, his place can never be at your side. Though he is the only person who've ever relied on, you know now— you rub your belly, that can no longer be the case. There is only one person you can rely on now... yourself.
It is painful to pull away from the window, but you do, clenching your hands into fists before walking away.
You don't really walk away however, because then, you're frozen in place at the sight of your husband standing a few paces away from you, "Daemon."
He stares at you wordlessly.
You walk towards him, careful as you drag your feet.
He tilts his head and clenches his jaw, "he's leaving any moment now."
You nod, "I know."
"Go to him," he says softly.
"I-"
"Go to him!" he snaps.
You stiffen at his expression. You were adept with anger but he did not look angry. You stop in your tracks, trying to make sense of his restless figure.
Daemon watches you fidget with your fingers.
"If it is your command, I shall obey."
He chuckles dryly, pacing around his spot. He wipes his mouth then charges over, stopping just in front of you. He scoffs when you do not flinch, in disbelief of your constitution. His nostrils flare, "you know my feelings towards your twin."
You slowly shrug, "then you'll be glad to know I came looking for you."
Daemon does not move.
"You know how I feel about my brother..." you mutter, "but..." you lower your gaze, "I'm coming to terms with the fact I can no longer rely on him... it will be better this way."
It takes a moment, but Daemon chuckles. When you look up and his smirk fades. Your beady eyes make it hard to find satisfaction. "So, you will not go to him?" he asks.
You stare.
"You do not want to go to him?"
Your lips part.
He raises his brows.
"I... I do."
Anger rises up his belly, but as if on cue, the sound of horses and carriages moving is heard. You clench your jaw and lower you gaze to prevent yourself from looking back at the window. The prince cannot seem to win, for he should be pleased you did not see your brother off, and yet your sadness leaves sour jealousy in his mouth— he was your husband.
The Cargyll twins look upon you both, appalled by the cruelty of the prince to keep you here as Gwayne leaves for good. Erryk in particular feels restless, unable to stop shifting and fidgeting with his scabbard.
"Shall... shall we go?" you mutter, slowly looking up.
Daemon watches you place a hand on his bicep. He responds only by following you after giving your wards a dismissive look.
The brothers turn to each other, each as unwilling as the other to leave you, but they do anyway.
Daemon is acutely aware of the warmth of your cheek against his arm as you tread down the halls. When, you arrive at your marriage chambers, Daemon opens the door and you notice the bandage wrapped around his hand. He struggles because of this. Once you're inside, you take his arm, eyes trained on his injury, "what happened to your hand?"
Daemon's eyes are fixed on the line between your brows.
"Did you break it?" you turn to him with furrowed eyes.
He pulls away slowly. He wants to know what you'd do next.
"Did you wrap it yourself? It's badly done."
He faintly snorts, "it's on my right hand."
"I'll do it for you," you say, walking towards the vanity.
Daemon follows, watching you procure scissors and vials and other things. You turn to him, motioning to the chair. He sits down, gaze fixed upon you as you take his arm again.
Your eyes are focused on undoing his wrap, "tell me if it hurts,"
His are fixed on your focused expression, "you should sit down."
"I'm fine."
"I want you to sit down," he uses his other hand to grab your wrist.
You stop and turn to him. You turn to the chair across the room but Daemon prevents you from doing so and simply spreads legs, pulling you between his thighs. Quickly, you are sat on his lap and tense look at him. He offers you his injured hand again as his other goes around you, clinging to your hip. He pulls you in, leaning his head against yours to say, "it's a cut, by the way."
You furrow your brows at his admission. You allow yourself a moment to relax before continuing your task. You find it is, in fact, a cut, deep and ugly, "did your lance splinter very badly?"
"No."
You furrow your brows deeper as you turn to him,
"This is glass."
"Glass?" you brow raise, "how did you hurt your hand with glass?"
Daemon licks his lips as he looks at yours. He shrugs, "I broke a bottle."
You pull your head back, "on accident?"
"On purpose," he tilts his head.
You huff and start cleaning his wound, "was the violence in the tourney insufficient?"
He chuckles through his nostrils, "I did not fucking win."
You smear balm on his wound. You do not reply.
It makes him clench his jaw, "and you..."
"..."
"You were not there."
You do not tear your gaze from his injury.
He grumbles, "did you even hear me?"
You lift your gaze then raise brow at him, "you did not want me there. Do you not recall how you cursed at me?"
Your gall makes anger rise up his throat.
You continue wrapping up his hand.
"Well, you were being a bitch," he snaps.
"Why?"
His brows furrow.
"Why was I being a bitch?"
"..."
You spare him a quick glace.
He pulls his head back, "... what?"
"Did I not do my duty?" you turn to him, face blank, "I followed you, congratulated you, inquired of your injuries. I submitted to your desires. Where did I err?" You ask in earnest, "what do you want from me?"
His face contorts. Now that he was faced with such an opportunity, he finds himself unable to speak. What did he want from you?
You wait for him to reply. You prepare yourself for preposterous requirements but you are met only his silence. In that moment, you remember he was just a man. Many a man enjoyed making women suffer. You gulp, thinking about your father.
Perhaps your father was lying. Perhaps he wants you to believe you are with child to get even. After all, Daemon never... finished in you. How then could you be with child?
You secure the binding on his hand, "it is finished."
Daemon does not bother looking at his hand.
"How do you feel?"
He feels a strong urge to shake you... to pull you close.
"My deepest sympathies for the death of your cousin."
He freezes. Right. The queen was dead. He lowers his gaze.
You frown and reach for his cheek. You second guess however and bring your palm to his shoulder instead, "I am here for you, my prince."
His eyes meet yours.
"I am here to care and comfort you."
He leans back, taken by the thought.
You drink in his demeanor, the softness in his eyes, the tension that falls of his shoulders. You release a breath, "if that is what you desire, speak plainly, and do not repel me. Do not ask me to leave if, in fact, you want me to stay."
His throat tightens. He feels like he is ensnared in a bear trap. He rips at his collar, "I... I have other injuries." He pushes you off and paces around as he undoes his top. It is a struggle for him, but he cannot stop or stay still, "cuts and bruises."
You watch as he fidgets and slowly walk over.
"I don't-"
"Daemon."
He stills.
You come in front of him and undo his top yourself. You drop it mindlessly, and once he is bare, he feels conscious under your scrutiny for some reason. You brush your fingers on his ribs, making goosebumps form on his skin. He can't say that that has ever happened to him before. You notice and rub his arms, eyes locked on his torso.
He feels himself getting hard.
"Did you tend to these yourself as well?" you brush over a cut on his hip.
Oh. You were still examining him. He only hums in response.
You frown, "did no maester come to your tent?"
"I..." he starts.
You circle around him, inspecting for other injuries.
"...wanted you to come to my tent."
You come to his side. He finds the frown on your face. You take a moment before saying, "you tended to your wounds well at least."
"I want you."
You nod, "I will tend to you—"
Daemon takes your nape, lowering his head to kiss your lips. It takes a moment for you to relax, and his belly burns at the sound you make when you do. Your hands come to his sides and your nails graze faintly into his flesh.
He pushes you back until your laid on the bed beneath him. His kisses trail down your skin as he works to get you naked. He kisses your shoulder, then your sternum. He makes sure to lick your breast and leave a mark on your rib before peppering kisses down your belly.
Your breath grows heavy when he lingers by your womb, sucking kisses on your skin. Your throat tightens think of your father's words again. It makes you tense, and Daemon feels it. Of course, he doesn't know about your conversation with Otto, and thinks your tension comes from your self-consciousness.
You lift your head, pulling a pillow beneath it, and look down at your husband. You reach for him, tangling your fingers in his silver hair, "Daemon."
He hums, nipping your flesh in response.
You try to sit up, "D-Daemon, I-"
He shushes you, pushing down on your hip bone. He looks up at you, muttering something in High Valyrian.
"Please, Daemon, wait-"
"Be still," he says, violet eyes hooded, "do I not take care of you?"
Your breath hitches as he sinks down.
"Do you not enjoy my mouth?"
"I- that's not-"
"Do you or do you not?"
"I... I do—"
You are not able to speak after he buries his face between your thighs. You are reduced to breathy cries and a twisting spine. Daemon, though he continues to hold you down, relishes every second of it and feasts more ardently. He sighs, securing your thighs on his shoulders, nudging his face deeper into you, his nose brushing against your pearl.
He relishes how quickly your wetness builds, and soon, he feels your arousal dribbling down his chin. He moans, nails biting crescent moons into your skin. Your belly rises and falls in sync with the crescendo of your mewls. At this point, both your hands are tangled into his hair, and your pulling and scratching only further inspires his tongue.
You call out his name, screwing your eyes shut as you throw your head back and arch your body. Quickly, your belly tightens and you sequentially dig your heels into his shoulder blades. He squeezes your thighs enough to make them bruise, and yet the pain is what pushes you into orgasm, garnering a lewd and loud sound from your mouth.
Daemon hums, lifting his face just enough to see yours as he brings you to peak. He moans at your expression, grinding his hips into the cushion, desperate for friction.
Your body trembles, unable to settle as his burning mouth persists on your molten mound. You begin to squeak and he catches the moment you open your eyes to look at him all teary. It drives him mad. With a deep inhale, he pulls away, wiping his chin before he undoes his breeches.
You relax and catch your breath, hands dropping to your sides.
Daemon watches you, your trembling legs glistening with the pleasure he's drawn out. He can feel himself throbbing in his pants. You watch as he hastily frees himself. Though your head was hazy and your body was tried, your belly burned at sight of the sticky liquid dripping down your husband's neck.
"Fuck, Daemon," you reach for his belly. You trace his defined muscles with your finger tips. He snatches your hands when he finally pushes his pants down.
You squeak when he pushes you to your side, one hand on your shoulder, another hiking your leg up by the knee. You whine as he folds you into the sheets just before sliding his hardened cock in your wet cunt.
He hisses, leaning down to your neck. His words are hot against your skin, but you understand nothing.
Whatever tenderness he had before was gone, now he was just fucking you like a rabid animal. Daemon could not help himself, he loved how supple and pliable you were, and twists you into a form that keeps you prone. When the bed begins to creak because of his thrusts, he holds you down where your neck and collarbone meet. He puts enough pressure to restrict your breathing, but not enough to choke out your pretty noises.
At some point, he decides your leg is getting in the way and pushes you flat on your chest. He then gathers you by the hip, hiking you up enough to fuck you nicely from behind.
His thrusts are more intense now. You scream into the cushion as you find your elbows. Before you can prop yourself up though, he's pinning you down by the shoulder, saying something in High Valyrian again.
"D-Daemon," you whine, left cheek smushed against your pillow. You could feel your next climax building quickly.
He responds by rubbing your clit, drawing tears and another scream out of you because of your sensitivity.
You feel yourself helplessly clenching and unclenching around him, absolutely boneless under his vigorous intrusion. You could feel your knees slipping but Daemon's grip on you would not see you move from your position. Your toes curl. Saliva drips out your open mouth.
"Māzigon va, riña," he snorts, "sepār mirrī angotan tolī." Come on, girl. Just a little bit more."
You do not understand, so you only whine out, "Daemon."
Daemon growls and rubs one side of your ass, "you're doing so good for me."
He spanks you, but that's not what makes your eyes open.
"Milk my cock with your tight cunny, come slut."
You begin to grit your teeth.
"I want to see my seed dripping down your thighs," he groans, mind unable to focus on anything but the hot, wet slapping of your skin.
It's unsurprising that you come first, as Daemon always assures you do to underscore his control and dominance over you. He yelps out a sharp fuck, nearly coming in your cunt because of how your body seizes up around him. Your orgasm overwhelming, yet your eyes water for more than this reason. His words make you aware your husband sees you nothing more as a vessel for pleasure, and your pleasure is regretfully cut short because of how sharply he pulls out, his load spraying on your already dripping labia and pubic hair.
He strokes himself a few times, feeling his cock twitch in his hand as he watches your mixed come trickle down your legs. He sighs, "fuck," then scoops the cream in two fingers, plunging it in and out your still spasming cunt.
You squeal when he finger fucks you, body unable to remain upright. You are grateful he loses interest rather quickly and crumble into the bed as he stands.
You watch him walk over to the drawer, where he then pours himself some wine. You gulp, remembering your dream from last night. It sobers you out your high. You clench your jaw and roll over to clean yourself up. You head to your vanity and wipe yourself down, grabbing your robe was you do.
Daemon, whose thirst was now quenched, turns back to you with a towel. He is confused to see you standing. He watches you flip your hair behind you, pulling it out of your robe, which you then secure around yourself. He knits his brows as he walks over, "what are you doing?"
You turn to him, sitting on the vanity chair, "getting ready for bed."
Daemon stares, and you take his prolonged silence as an indication to proceed with your nightly routine.
The prince squeezes the damp towel in his hand as he watches you brush your hair. You catch his stillness from the mirror and turn back to him, "oh."
You drop your brush and take the towel from him, "I'll help you clean up."
Normally, he enjoyed this, but right now, he can't. He is offended when you begin to pick up his clothes, so much that he scoffs, "the fuck are you doing?"
You halt midway picking up his trousers. You stand and turn to the closet, "ah. Did you want new clothes?"
He pulls his head back, no longer offended, but hurt, "you want me to leave?"
You are caught off guard by his question. You stare at him for a moment, unsure if he was serious. You could not identify his expression, so you did not know if you tell him the truth. You would not survive being berated after confessing you wanted to sleep with him. You dodge the answer altogether, "weren't you leaving anyway?"
Daemon's cheeks tense. He huffs, stepping forward, yanking his clothes out of your hands, "no."
You are bewildered by his actions, for to you, his actions are sudden. You are petrified in fear, which is why you instinctively begin to apologize, "f-forgive me, I-I-"
His nostrils flare and his jaw sets.
"I-" you motion with a hand, "- you always leave."
His clenches his jaw, "do you want me to leave?"
"I—" your throat tightens and soon you can no longer look at him. You want to beg him to stay, but you recall how you did that with your father, and your mother, and your brother— begging does not make people stay. You whisper, "I... I'm terrified."
When you lift your gaze, Daemon shirks and decided to dress. He gulps as he pulls his trousers up, turning back to you. He clenches his fist before reaching out for you.
Your heart races as he takes your hand.
"You've served me well. If you are terrified... I'll leave you."
You whimper when he pulls away, holding him tighter than he did before your hands part. Your lips quiver. He knits his brows. You shake your head, "I- I... I do not want you to go."
He is taken off guard by how you suddenly embrace him.
"Please," you beg, though you knew it would not serve you well, "stay."
He turned to stone. He cannot seem to move at all but your arms are determined to stay around him. You begin to weep against his skin and he can feel your breath grow ragged. Only then does he manage to return your affection.
He brushes your dark hair away from your face and cradles you against him.
"Daemon."
He leans into you, enough to be able to brush his cheek against yours, "kesan umbagon." I will stay.
You sniffle then sigh. After a while, you ask, "what does that mean?"
"I will stay."
You sigh again, pulling away to look at him. You offer him a sad smile, "thank you."
He frowns, wiping your tears.
When you go back to bed, you offer him space in case you've made him uncomfortable. He stares at you, awaiting your embrace. You are mere inches apart but it feels like yards and yards.
"Good night, husband," you say before turning over.
He chuckles dryly, staring at your dark hair. He turns to the ceiling, "good night."
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GAHHHHHH!!!! this chapter hurt so good like I'm not even kidding it was like having spicy ramen, my heart hurts but it feels so good at the same time.
"I wish you were real" AUTHOR DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?????
our girl thinking it was all a dream :( I'm devasted.
Daemon, man, for an emotionally constipated ankle bitter you were doing SO GOOD but of course your wormy ass had to go and fuck it all up. like be normal for once?!
the cargyll twins are just like me fr (ready to do everything and anything for mc)
ughhh as always, devastatingly amazing chapter, i can tell this is just going to keep on breaking my heart and I'm not even complaining.
Tormented Spirit | 6
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, smut (piv, biting, marking, mild choking) DD:DNE, violence/death, panic/anxiety attacks, mentions of pregnancy/labor, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: ayo my high valyrian is probably wrong so if you know it is just roll with it. girl this fic doesnt want to end wtf i- if you like my work, please consider leaving a comment or reblog as I really look forward to them
@arabellasleopardcoat
You fall asleep in Daemon's arms as he walks back to the Keep. He cannot help himself. His lilac eyes go back and forth between your face and where he was going. There seemed to be nothing else. It was just him, the moon, and your breathing against his neck.
When he reached the door to his marriage chambers, and he was taken aback by the sudden galloping of a Cargyll twin. The knight opens the door then makes way. Daemon turns over his shoulder and realizes both brothers had been following him.
There is an angry annoyance that forces up his throat, but when you release an audible sigh, and he remembers it was he who had instructed them to retrieve you. He says two words before entering the room and kicking the door closed, "thank you."
Daemon lays you down and gulps at the sight of your body. Your brown hair falls over your face as you shuffle and reach out for nothing. He realizes then, as the urge to push your tresses away intensifies, that he's never witnessed you sleep before.
He removes your shoes, placing them at the foot of your bed.
And he never will.
Daemon walks off. He's five steps from making an exit when he hears the noise you make. He stills and waits a few seconds. You make the noise again.
With a line between his brows, he returns to you, peering over your body. Indeed, you were still asleep, but from the way your lips and forehead curled, you were dreaming of something unpleasant. He sighs, clasping his hands, "amīvindigon sesīr isse ēdrugon." Tormented even in sleep.
There is a discomfort that spreads in his ribs as tears leave your closed eyes. He shakes his head "mundagon riña." Miserable girl.
He sits beside you, staring for a moment before finally brushing your hair back, doing the same with your tears. While caressing your soft skin, he finds his thumb itching to smoothen out the creases on your face that seem to only deepen. Under his breath, he speaks to you the way he would Caraxes when he's overcome with emotion. He forfeits the commanding tone however and whispers each word.
At some point, both his hands find your cheeks. He is so caught up in tracing your lips, he doesn't even realize you were no longer in distress, nor does he know of your consciousness until you lean into his touch.
He is frozen when his eyes meet yours. He starts slightly when you sit up, heart racing when you embrace him. His pulse thunders so loud that you pull away and examine his face in worry. Daemon's breath hitches when your hands clutch his cheeks. Your eyes rove across his face and again, your forehead curls. You speak in the softest of voices, "what's wrong?"
He thinks for a moment. He stares at you. You just had a nightmare, yet you ask him what is wrong? He shifts and rests his hand at the small of your back. He shakes his head as his expression falls. He whispers, "mirre iksis sȳrī, jorrāeliarza." All is well, beloved.
You do not understand him.
He repeats, "all is well."
Your features slowly relax.
His harden as he tests the word he omitted in translation, "beloved."
His belly flutters at the faint chuckle you release. His eyes begin to widen when you slowly lean closer.
Daemon pulls his head back, intent on watching what you, but he freezes when you kiss his cheek, again and again. You kiss his jaw, his jowl, his lips. Suddenly, he can smell you so clearly. Suddenly, he pulls you in.
You gather your skirts as you climb onto his lap. You sigh as you deepen your kiss him. He makes a strangled sound against your mouth when you grind on his crotch. He digs his fingers into your hips before pushing your dress out of the way to claw at your thighs.
He sighs when your hands brush his chest. His breathing grows heavy at your attempt to free him of his top. He helps you get him out of his garbs, and soon he is getting you out of yours. Once you're both naked, he pulls you in, pressing his skin against yours, unwilling to part from your body. Simultaneously, he has a strong urge to examine you, to commit to memory the hue of your skin and the curves of your flesh. Daemon, in all his greed, tries to do both at once.
With you still sitting on him, he squeezes your bum, securing you on his lap as he drinks in your visage. He shamelessly moans and pants as you continue to grind on him, and now he can feel your wetness on his hardening member. As you undo the tie of his hair and comb the silver strands back, he remembers the first time you'd ever fucked.
He is hypnotized by your confidence, by how unbridled and overt your desire for him is. Nothing remains of the timid little girl he claimed on the beach. You were lust incarnate, the goddess of sex. You scratch your nails up his nape and besiege him with open mouthed kiss. He returns your fervor, scratching his nails up down back, garnering out a shaky moan from your lips
He breaks away only to ogle at your breasts and he knead them. His breath grows heavier at your continued grinding and hitches upon catching your dazed reaction. He spews out a string of High Valyrian curses before capturing your ribcage. He sinks his face into your chest and you mewl at the feel of his hot mouth on your breast, feeling restless and needy.
"Daemon," you tug at the roots of his hair, "I need you."
You are uninclined to wait for him as you lean into his shoulder while your other hand grabs his cock. Your breast in his mouth muffles the noise that leaves him as sink down on him. You yelp when he nips your sternum, but it does not deter you from beginning to maneuver your hips up and down.
"Fuck, fuck," Daemon huffs against your chest. He looks up at you, going mad at the sight of your closed-eyed concentration. He licks a stripe of sweat building on the side of your neck and thrusts up in sync to your movements.
"N-ñuha dārilaros," my prince falls from your lips.
He moans at that. He straightens and traps you tightly in both his arms, "where did you fucking learn that?"
You squeak as his thrusts grow more vigorous, "I- mmm- in- uh- book."
Daemon licks your lower lip before biting it, "desperate hussy," he moans against your mouth, "iksan jāre naejot pryjagon ao." I am going to destroy you.
You gasp as he pushes you back like you were nothing. Your legs immediately lock around his hips as he comes atop you and your voice trembles when his hips thrust slower but deeper as he adjusts you to the center of the bed. He nuzzles into your neck, licking your jaw. He then pushes himself up and rubs your the curve of your ass.
You yield to him as he pushes your thighs back, bringing your legs over his shoulders. Using his weight to keep you down, he takes your wrists and pins them above you while the other tightens around your throat.
He fucks you thoroughly in this position and you can do nothing but whimper, arch your back, and feel your arousal drip onto the bed.
His hand brushes up your neck and soon he's tracing your parted lips with his thumb. You take him in and bite his finger. It stokes a flame in his belly, thus why he pulls away to push hand into the back of your knees.
You are helpless as he plows into you. Daemon, in his delirium, reverts back into his mother tongue. He sings your body praises in High Valyrian. He calls you dirty names as he slaps his hips into yours with a wet squelch. Your fucked-out expression pulls out an honest confession of how pretty he think you'd look stuffed with his seed.
Of course, you cannot understand a word he's saying, nor do you know how much calling him name is egging him on.
He watches you, his darling doe. The dragon in him relishes your screwed eyes and opened mouth. You throw your head back as you chase your building pleasure, meanwhile Daemon feels his stomach tighten as his own nears.
Fuck, you were beautiful. It would be a shame to waste his seed.
A deep line forms between his brows as he imagines the child you would bear him. Fuck. He does not want it.
He grabs your jaw and pushes your head to the side. It's enough to push you over the edge. He curses as he feels you tighten around him. You're so hot and wet and divine, he grits his teeth to build his resolve. Quickly, he quickly pulls out, gliding his cock back and forth your slick folds, sequentially finishing on your pulsing cunt and belly, just as he always does.
The image is nothing new, but it drives him no less wild. Behold, the Lord Hand's dearest daughter, all dirty with his molten come. It's a wicked, wet dream made reality. It was all his.
But there was something different. Daemon doesn't just pull away and roll over. He stares at you for a while, watching you catch your breath as he does the same. He stares at the mess he's made of you, and yes, you were filthy but you were also glimmering. He gulps, before grabbing his discarded clothes to clean you up.
He wets his dress shirt with water then wipes you down. He does the same to himself and catches you staring.
His instinct is to ruin the moment, to berate you for looking so dumbstruck and to praise the prowess of his cock, but he cannot find it in him to do so with how utterly enchanting you look in the afterglow of your love m— fucking.
You reach out to him.
His heart races.
"Stay," you whisper.
If there's one thing he hates, it's people telling him what to do.
... why then was such a simple word so compelling?
You fix the pillows on the bed as your husband crawls beside you. Daemon feels his throat constrict as you throw yourself on him. He is unable to move as you press your chests together and snake your leg over his hips. He does not know why he's become petrified by your touch. You trace your thumb across his face, "you're so beautiful."
Daemon does not reply. He cannot.
His brows furrow when he thinks he notices your eyes water. They furrow deeper when you smile and laugh out, "I wish you were real."
You feel sick after saying that.
He feels sick after hearing that.
Your prince shakes his hand and takes the hand you had on his face, "I am real."
You nod and laugh again. "I believe you."
Why then do your tears fall?
Daemon lets you curl into him. You latch onto him so tightly, he feels you would not be able to push you away even if he wanted. He doesn't want to though.
You fall asleep in his arms.
You wake up all alone.
You groan at the sound your servants telling you to rise. You brush your brown hair off your shoulder and knit your brows at the feel of your night gown. A pit instantly forms in your belly. Of course it had been a dream.
Hot tears that instantly rush down your cheeks. You hide underneath your blankets and manage to croak, "leave me alone."
You weep into your pillows for you did not know any better. You did not know Daemon had slept with you. You did not know when he awoke, he watched you sleep until the last minute. You did not know he put you into the clothes you wore because you shivered without his heat.
You hear your servants fuss over you. They ask if you're ill and in need of a maester. The only response you give are sniffles and groans. They ask if you will be able to attend today's tourney.
You moan, "what?"
"It will be starting soon, milady," one of the servants say, "do you not want to see your husband joust? He is quite good."
You know she says it to entice you, but it only makes you feel sick. After all, you did not know Daemon roused early, only because he needed to prepare for the tourney. You never will.
The same servant says, "and your brother? Isn't it his last day in King's Landing?"
You push your blankets down and stare at your two servants.
"Milady," the other says softly, "it would be good to attend."
"I do not want to behold my brother in such violence," you snuggle into bed.
The servants turn to each other, and one offers, "you can close your eyes upon collision, princess."
You sigh and shake your head. You think of Daemon. You think of how he'll surely hurt Gwayne if they face each other. Your think of how he'd done so in a tourney once before. You shake your head, "I do not want to go."
So you do not.
When the tourney commences, Daemon is most eager to make his entrance. One by one, the players are called, and upon his turn, he trots on his horse with a look of pride. He basks in the cheers as his eyes fall to the main balcony, where he quickly spots the king. His expression further brightens at the sight of his brother's smile and his niece's grin. When he spots your sister and your ugly father, he looks the crowd once over, looking for you. His lips flatten when he realizes you're not there. He awaits your arrival, forfeiting the first pick to witness your entrance, then he realizes, you wouldn't be coming. Suddenly, it was as though he never woke up in a good mood.
Meanwhile, you were aimlessly roaming the castle with one Cargyll twin trailing behind you. You do not know who it is, as you cannot find it in you to speak to him. You knew if you did, you'd end up asking him what happened after him and his brother found you in the temple. You did not want to be disappointed by the reality you'd dreamed up Daemon, so you hold your tongue.
You are torn from your lonesome trance when you hear wailing across the hall. You find yourself drawing near to the source, and you realize it was coming from Queen's chambers. Your feet falter when it dawns on you she was now in labor.
One of the servants spots you and curtsies, "princess. Have you come to visit the queen?"
You release a shaky breath, "I-"
"Who is it?!" Aemma snaps loudly then sighs.
You step back, heart racing. You gasp when you knock into Cargyll's chest plate. Another gasp comes when you turn forward and find the face of the queen. She looks distraught and yet she laughs, "your husband visited me just this morning."
You watch as she groans and rubs her belly, "he requires your attention more th-" she winces, "than I."
You cannot help but take her arm, "s-should you not be in bed, my queen?"
Aemma sighs, squeezing your arm in return, "walking can help speed-" she does not continue as her face curls in discomfort.
You feel your breath hitch as she squeezes you tighter, "sh-shall we walk to-together?"
She looks at you, a deep line between her brows, "Daemon was very excited for today's tourney. You should be there cheering for him."
"But-"
Aemma lurches forward as a particularly painful contraction hits her.
She is taken by the midwives and lead back into her chambers. You are so stunned by the encounter, your ward has to reel you back and shake you.
"My princess," he takes your shoulders.
You look at him, unable to speak. Your eyes become glassy but you manage to take deep breaths to calm yourself.
"Do not distress," he says, rubbing your arms, "the queen has everyone she needs at her disposal."
Your lips wobble, "her p-pain must be unbearable."
He cannot help the twist of his face nor how his face reaches out for your cheek, "you need not think about anyone else's pain. You have far too much of your own."
You do not respond to him until you find yourself in the gardens. You are grateful he did not think to lead you into the maester's ward, and guilty that you still do not know who it was accompanying you.
"Erryk?"
"Yes, my princess?"
You turn from the flower bushes to him, "did I get it right?"
He knits his brows and nods, "yes, my princess."
"Apologies for not speaking to you earlier. I... was not in good spirits."
"You needn't apologize for doing what is best for you."
You lower your head, "you are too kind to me."
"I really ought to be kinder," he says, taking your hand in both of his.
You look at him as he rubs your knuckles. You smile and cover his hands with yours.
"I would tell you to watch the tourney if I were kinder," Erryk says.
You laugh, "it is precisely because you are kind that you do not tell me to do such things."
Erryk thinks how inappropriate it was of him to act this way, to hold your hand, to impose his opinions upon you. If he was kinder, he would not be so apparent with his fondness. He mutters, "I am dutiful, my princess, but I am not kind."
You knit your brows at that.
He does not clarify and pulls away, "perhaps you would like to go out and pick flowers again?"
You smile at the thought, but remember your brother, "I do not want to miss my brother. He will leave today before sunset no matter what."
He nods. If he were kinder, he'd offer to take you to the tourney to see your brother while he is still here, but he also does not want to bring you to your husband.
You think of the tourney nonetheless, as well as the queen's words. You sigh and shake your head, "would it be inappropriate to watch the games at this hour?"
Erryk is surprised by your question.
"I do not want to appear as though I meant to make an entrance."
"I assure you," he shakes his head, "no one would think it. It is not your nature."
You chuckle to yourself, turning to your feet, "you're right. They'd probably assume I was subject to the horrors. As it is my nature."
"That is not what I mean-"
"A jest," you smile, "a mere jest."
When you arrive at the tourney, your father immediately assumes exactly what you said, and looks you over in concern. You simply agree with what he assumes to save yourself the trouble but reassure him you were better. You then assume the seat beside Alicent.
It's harder to reassure her, as her worry is more frantic than your father's. She secures her hand in yours throughout the event, and tells you which players she thinks will do poorly so you are not so shocked if they end up on the ground.
You are glad of it, but in truth you pay little attention to the violence. You let your mind wander, counting how many birds fly overhead. You daydream about flying on Caraxes. You daydream about embracing Daemon from behind.
You are only pulled back into reality when you hear your brother's name announced.
Alternatively, Daemon rolls his eyes as he dawdles around his tent, waiting for his turn to bash someone in with his lance.
You perk from your seat, watching the man with the Hightower sigil gallop across the stadium, all the way to you. Gwayne removes his helmet and smiles. He calls out, "I am glad to see you, sister. I was concerned you would not come."
Daemon stills when he hears this and looks out his tent.
"Cast away your concerns. Focus on staying on your horse," you call back.
Gwayne offers his lance, "perhaps your favor will keep me upright, princess."
You roll your eyes at your brother's teasing regard. Still, you stand and throw him a wreath, "do not dare fall off your horse, ser."
"Wouldn't dream of it," he puts his helmet back on.
As the Hightower twins were speaking, Daemon exited his tent and mounted his horse. Without even looking at the man who meant to go against Gwayne, the prince announce he have his turn and gallops off, leaving everyone nothing else to do but follow.
Daemon replaces your brother, huffing as he halts before you. He looks up at you and your parted lips, your braided brown hair, your terribly modest dress. Suddenly, his chipper mood returns to him. He licks his lips and grins, calling out your name.
Alicent turns to you, gripping your hand. Rhaenyra turns to you, chuckling under her breath. Otto turns to you, clenching his jaw. Viserys turns to you, smiling softly. You turn to Daemon, voice breaking, "husb-and."
Your husband releases a breathy laugh. His stomach feels fuzzy, "I am gladdened by your appearance."
Your throat tightens yet your jaw slacks. He is?
Daemon watches you. He waits for your response but receives none. It makes his brows furrow, but his smile remains. He points his lance, "give me your favor."
"I-"
"He's already given her favor, uncle," Rhaenyra says, leaning forward.
Daemon's eyes remain on you, "then she'll give another."
The princess laughs, "she cannot favor two knights. Especially not two knights jousting against each other."
Daemon finally turns to his niece. She smiles at him as he huffs, "fine," but the prince turns to Alicent, "if I cannot have my wife's favor, her sister's suffice."
Rhaenyra turns to Alicent. Alicent turns to you. Your eyes do not leave Daemon. Your sister pulls away and takes the wreath, dropping it on his lance, "I do hope fortune finds you, my prince."
Daemon nods at her.
Alicent sits back down, turning between her friend and her sister. The former looks sulky while the latter looks agitated. Your heart pounds as Daemon smiles at you once he is positioned opposite Gwayne. You misinterpret his expression. Alicent takes your hand, and this time you squeeze her tightly as you turn to your twin, "he will hurt Gwayne."
Your sister watches you gulp and rubs your hand, "it's a tourney."
You turn to Alicent with wide eyes, "precisely," you rapidly shake your head, "I should not have come."
Alicent lowers her head to offer you a solemn expression, "our brother is not made of glass. He is knight and a formidable player in his own regard."
You smile at your sister and nod, trying to find comfort in her words. You look back at Daemon, finding him already looking at you. His grin is renewed and you feel your stomach churn. You shift on your chair and avert your gaze to your brother. Gwayne is already faced forward with his helmet on. You mutter a prayer of protection under your breath.
Daemon's brows knit when you do not turn back to him. He tries to will you to look with his mind, but you do not, not even when the horses begin to run.
Gwayne manages to hit him, the cunt's lance colliding with his chest where his own misses. A point is called and the crowds cheer. Daemon turns to you and finds a look of relief on your face. It causes his lips to tighten. He barks as he charges the second time.
Gwayne hits him again, this time, nearly dismounting. Daemon skids on the railing but manages to get himself upright.
The prince huffs, eyeing his opponent darkly. His eyes trail back to you, finding you looking out to him in concern. Part of his anger dissipates, but then you turn to your brother, gesturing vaguely. Your twin gestures back and you roll your eyes at him. Daemon doesn't understand what it means, but it irritates him all the same.
He huffs and decides to be done with this bother. The prince is silent until the horses start running again. His lance expertly makes the hit, causing the horse to topple forward, effectively sending the ginger cunt flying off. The heavy crashing and loud gasps are music to his ears. Daemon looks back at his opponent and laughs. He chucks his splintered weapon to the side and entices cheers with his victory scream.
The only reason his celebration stops is because he hears shrill scream from the balcony. He turns and finds you standing by the railing, calling out to your brother. Your father and sister are stood behind you, trying to calm you down. You thrash against them and manage to slip away. Daemon watches you leave the balcony and the Cunt Hand gives an apologetic look to the king.
Erryk follows you as you make your way down the arena to Gwayne's tent. He is uneasy by how distressed you were, and though he knew your distress would not wane until you see the condition of your twin, he did not like the idea of you coming to him, lest it inspire the rage of your husband, who was rather happy to watch your brother crumple to the ground.
You find Gwayne laid on a cot, attended by some squires. His helmet is removed and his pained expression makes you run to him.
"Brother," you come to his side, finding relief in the maester that enters his tent.
You tense when your brother calls your name and worriedly wipe the blood that trickled down his philtrum with a towel.
He groans and you pull away, allowing the maester to inspect him. His bent breastplate is removed and you see bruises on his pale chest. The measter presses his ear against his chest and turns to you, "Lord Gwayne is strong. He will be fine."
You breathe a sigh of relief and nods, "thank you. Thank the gods."
"You should not be here," Gwayne groans as he sits up.
You glare at him, gripping your skirt.
"Get her out of here, Carygll," he motions vaguely. Erryk comes to your side on cue.
You scoff, "hypocrite. If you were in my place, would you leave if I asked you?"
"Please," he looks up at you with tired blue eyes, "I do not wish to quarrel."
"Then do not wish me away!" you shake your head, "I-"
Your attention is stolen when your name is called again. You, as does everyone else, turn to the man who walks into the tent. Daemon knits his brows, gaze lingering on your twin before turning to you. He brings his hands behind him and sighs, "See. I did not kill him. You needn't be so worried, darling."
The pet name makes you feel sick. Erryk clenches his jaw.
"Come," he reaches a hand out to you, "your heart will only heavy with worry if you stay here. There's plenty of space in my tent."
Anger builds in you at his callousness. Gwayne recognizes it and curses under his breath. He watches you intently, noticing the twitch of your face twitches and the very moment you resign yourself to your husband's whim. He stares at his lap, unwilling to witness the bitter tears he knew would come after you take his hand.
Daemon shoots Gwayne a shit-eating grin as he walks out of the tent, but the cunt does not even see it. Still, he is pleased as he brings you to his tent and immediately pours you a cup of wine. The prince freezes when he realizes you had been silently sobbing. You stand there aloof as tears wet your face.
The prince drops the cup he meant to offer you and captures your cheeks. He gazes at you in concern and repeats what he had already said, "I did not kill him."
Your eyes focus as he swipes your cheeks. The coldness in your gaze unnerves him, "you did not have to be so cruel."
He pulls his head back, "cruel?"
You say nothing.
Daemon chuckles dryly, releasing you, "we were both in a tourney," he chuckles again, "girl."
You flinch when he calls you that. Your father's face appears in your head.
The prince is riled up by your silence. His stomach is uneasy by the steady flow of your tears. He scoffs, "your brother lost, but your husband-" he enunciates, "won."
You sniffle and wipe your cheeks, "yes," you offer him a smile, "apologies. Congratulations, my prince."
He stills at your words. He finds no satisfaction in it. His jaw feathers and he scoffs again, "do not congratulate me. I've still others to defeat."
You nod and step forward, "yes," you place your hand on his shoulders, "you are not injured at all, are you?"
It's as though your hands were heating his armour. He flinches when you touch his face. You pull your hands away ready to apologize for the intrusion but then he barks, "I am not feeble like you and your twin."
His anger is familiar. It is no worse than that of your fathers, thus how you sustain your stillness.
Somehow it is worse that you do not react.
Daemon clenches his fists at your blankness, "say something, damn it."
You are taken off-guard by the desperation you discern, "w-what do you want me to say?"
"..."
"..."
"Do you have nothing more to tell me than I am cruel?"
The softness of his voice strikes a fear in you that you have not yet known. Your hands begin to tremble.
In a second, his softness is gone, and he snaps, "if you love that cunt so dearly, you should have married him instead."
You are stoic as Daemon storms off. The prince glares at Erryk, who had been waiting outside his tent the whole time, "get that bitch out of here."
Your ward's face contorts in contempt as your husband walks away. When Erryk makes his way towards you, he is unnerved by your stillness. He reaches for your arm, "princess?"
You turn to him and suddenly, you're laughing.
Goosebumps form underneath Erryk's armor.
"He said I should have married Gwayne instead," you turn to him.
He is tense at your eerily jovial expression. He mutters, "I heard."
"I do not ascribe to the unorthodox ways of his house," you shake your head. You laugh again but tears begin to flow after, "he thinks I'm stupid, doesn't he?"
The man gulps at your words and frowns, "even if he thought your skin was green, it would not make it so."
You laugh, but it is not so unsettling this time.
Erryk leads you out of the tent, "where to, my princess?"
"I... would like to go for a swim."
He takes a moment to think but then nods, "there is a stream that not many know of. We could go there. It is no very far."
As the tourney progresses, Daemon takes out his anger on his opponents. The is no satisfaction in any of his wins however, as each time, the looks over his shoulder to search for your face, and each time he is reminded you are not there.
At some point, he's so distracted that one vermin opponent manages to dismount him. He rages and screams for his sword. His foe grabs a flail. In the end, the prince is overpowered and forced to yield. It takes everything in him not to lunge at the stupid fuck as he walks towards the princess and her friend.
He storms to his tent, unwilling to be attended by anyone. He barks as a trembling squire, "I want my wife."
"S-she left with ser Car-"
Daemon kicks his table down.
"I-I— I will go call for her-"
He groans in pure vexation as he removes his armor. He looks down at himself, finding dirt, bruises, and small cuts on his body. His eyes water, but not in pain. You would clearly spare him no sympathy for his injuries. He did not even win. His breathing grows heavy in anger. It doesn't take long until he is overcome with emotion. Instead of drinking the cup of wine he poured himself, he slams it to the ground then proceeds to raze the other furniture in his tent.
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Tormented Spirit | 5
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 4k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, DD:DNE, panic/anxiety attacks, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: guys this not fully proofread as I am exhausted
@arabellasleopardcoat
You cannot tear your eyes away from Daemon as you walk down the halls together. Though he already told you the blood on his armor was not his, you could not help but worry that perhaps he had a wound hidden away underneath his steel plate. Your stare is so heavy, he cannot ignore it, which is why he huffs, "out with it."
You perk at his words and rub your hands together.
He raises a brow at you, "or do you merely think me so devastatingly handsome you cannot help but stare?"
You slowly shake your head, "are you certain you are unharmed?"
His eyes linger on you for a moment before he looks forward, "I am offended you did not agree."
You knit your brows, "you," you shake your head, "are already know. You are comely husband."
You stop in your tracks out of frustration, grabbing his arm, "Daemon."
He turns back to you.
You cannot name the expression he gives you.
"Did I not say I was unharmed?"
He turns to you, face hardening at your look of concern.
"If you are hurt, then we should head for the maester's."
He chuckles under his breath, pulling away from you, "a funny thought coming from you."
You furrow your brows deeper as you tail after him, "I do not follow."
He looks over his shoulder, lips curling, "considering you are sick and yet nowhere near the maester's ward."
You only then recognize his smile was mocking. You feel a pinch in your chest. You shake your head, "we are not the same. If there was something to be done about my affliction, my father would have seen it done years ago."
Daemon laughs.
Your husband looks at you, then at the hand you had on his bicep and sighs, "through it all, you hold your father in such high regard."
You wait for him to explain his laughter, but he does not. You take his arm, "what amuses you?"
You clench your jaw and release his him.
He enjoys your dejection, thus why he takes your hand, placing it back on in its place with a chuckle, "say it isn't so."
You look back at him. His smile is like a needle through your heart. He must think you're stupid without even trying. You mutter, "I am merely stating facts."
He laughs again, "your frail heart keeps you naive."
You do not speak until you reach the door to the meeting room. Once you are there, Daemon motions with his head, "wait for me there. You like flowers don't you?"
The feel of his armor is suddenly scorching and you have to pull away. He stares at you after the fact, but does not take your hand again.
You look over your shoulder and realize that he was motioning to the window that gave view to the gardens. You turn back to him and step forward, reaching out to retrieve the flower in his hair. It would not be appropriate for him to attend a council meeting like this.
Daemon mistakes your action for affection, and moves his head away so you cannot caress his cheek, "I said I am unharmed, woman. Now go sit down."
He walks off after this, leaving you standing in the middle of the hall by yourself. Just as he enters the room, you struggle with yourself if you should call out to him or simply run up to him and snatch the flower off his head. But then, the moment is gone and he's already inside.
You cannot find it in you to sit as you overthink what would become of your husband because of the flower in his hair.
Just as you begin to pace around, you are rendered frozen when you hear your name get called.
Viserys smiles at you, as he and his council members walk over, "good morrow."
You make eye contact with your father, who was walking just behind the king, and lower your gaze as you curtsy, "your grace. A pleasant morning to you."
Viserys stops in front of you, clapping his hands once, "why, you look fetching my dear," his eyes examine your hair, and you, yourself, are reminded by the presence of the blossoms on your head, "did you pick those from the garden?"
You rise and smile at your husband's brother, shaking your head, "my ward, see Erryk, was kind enough to- ..." you catch yourself amidst your confession, eyes suddenly darting to your father.
Otto's jaw is set and his eyes are alresdy angered.
You gulp and decide to continue nevertheless, "...accompany me flower picking in the meadow."
Otto huffs audibly, but the king's reaction is so stark in contrast, your father does not have the opportunity to butt this moment. Viserys claps once again and smiles, "oh good. Some fresh air always did help me. Of course, when I say fresh air, I really mean going on dragon back, but strolling in the meadow picking flowers is a fine passtime."
You are touched by the king's amicable sentiment. You repay his smile with your own, "I completely agree."
"I do not," Otto says, "what if you get an attack in the middle of the nowhere? What if the pain is too great and you are not brought home in time?"
Viserys and you turn to the Lord Hand. The king responds, "she was accompanied by her ward. Is that not why you requested one for her?"
"I requested a ward to keep her in check to prevent her from doing things that would cause her affliction to worsen."
You tense under the harsh sound of Otto's voice.
Viserys recognizes your discomfort and waves him off, "you needn't be so hard on your daughter. It is good for the spirit to have time frolicking."
You gulp the next time the king smiles at you. You do not smile back and merely curtsy at him. With that, he and his council members go into their meeting room and you are left alone in the hall.
The council members' muttering comes to a halt when they see prince Daemon in his seat.
"Kind of you to join us today, brother," Viserys huffs, "we were just talking about you."
Daemon eyes Otto, "the topic being my bride, no doubt."
Otto has to fight the urge to roll his eyes as he walks to his chair. His throat constricts, as if he was able to retch, when he sees the flower by his ear. He thinks of you and the flowers in your hair and figures Daemon did this to spur him in. He releases a deep breath to calm himself, "the topic being your power tripping with the City Watch last night."
"Daemon," Viserys snaps.
Daemon glares at Otto. The king sits at the head of the table. The prince links his hands together, "you would know to mind your tongue, Lord Hand. I care little for the tears my wife will shed once I sever your neck from your spine."
"And what I did last night was clean the streets from the putrid scabs of the city in preparation for my birth of my brother's child."
"And you exacted a very public show of extreme violence while doing so," Viserys leans on the table, "you maimed and mutilated peopl-"
"Criminals," Daemon whips his head. He raises his brows, "would you rather they strut free and continue stealing, raping, and killing in your city?"
"I would have them see justice."
Daemon chuckles dryly.
Viserys raises a finger, "your blade is not the writ of justice."
"Do you mean to tell me it's yours?" the younger Targaryen narrows his eyes.
"I AM THE KING," the elder Targaryen snaps.
The prince does not flinch, "speaking loudly will not make it truer, brother."
Needless to say, the meeting is coarse and uncomfortable.
You start from where you were sat by the window upon witnessing Daemon shove the meeting doors open. He storms out of the room grumbling and you have to gather your skirts to run off after him.
"What's happened?" you mutter when you reach his side.
He ignores you, simply continuing to march away with a storm cloud overhead.
Daemon begins to callously remove his armor and immediately ceases when you come towards him to do it yourself. You look between his hard expression and hard attire, thinking of something to say to calm his down.
You are partially surprised to find that he was heading towards your shared chambers. He shoves the doors open then marches towards your private baths. There, your tub holds steaming water. You were grateful thd servants thought to prepare the bath here and not Daemon's personal quarters.
In the quiet of washing and splashing water, you feel Daemon slowly begin to relax. He leans back, releasing a sigh as he shuts his eyes. You stare at him for a long moment. He is beautiful.
You think of nothing.
The moment he is free of his steel, he removes the rest of his garbs himself and steps into the tub. You meant to remove the flower in his hair but then he wordlessly offers you his arm, expecting you to clean him, and so you do without fuss.
"Your father is a fucking cunt."
You purse your lips as you release his arm. He opens his eyes when you pull away, then watches as you circle around the tub. You sigh as you take his other arm and begin scrubbing it, "he is... sometimes unkind."
He scoffs, turning to you, "sometimes?"
You focus on his arm, unwanting to meet his gaze, "he was kind to my mother... I think. And to my brother... sister... sometimes."
Daemon watching you, brows furrowing, "and you?"
You shrug, "sometimes?"
"Why do you defend him?" he tilts his head.
Finally, you look at him. The glint in his violet eyes make him appear as though he genuinely wanted to understand you. You shrug once more and shake your head, "he is my father."
"He is a cunt."
You tilt your head, scooping water onto his arm, "surely you've thought the same thing about your brother." You look between his arm and his face.
You stiffen at his proposal, but do not object otherwise. You gather your hair and turn around, "will you undo my laces?"
Daemon does not respond. He does, however, pull away from you.
You stare at him, trying to anticipate his next move.
He motions with his head and leans back in the tub once more, "strip. You should bathe with me."
"The king demands we have a family dinner before the tourney tomorrow," Daemon mindlessly mutters, "you must wear something pretty."
Daemon, for some reason, is taken aback by the request. There is something that swirls in his gut. Still, he moves towards you and undoes your ties, pushing your dress down after. You shudder when he frees you of your shift and strokes your spine with the back of his hand.
By the time the water goes cold and your bliss from love making wears off, you are faced with the fact your neck and collarbones are covered in glaring purple and red marks again.
You gulp when he kisses your shoulder and scratches your sides. You gasp and turn when he tries to pull you in. Finally, the flower in his hair falls off when your nails scratch his scalp into his scalp as he kisses you.
The air is tense as your family and his eat dinner. You sit next to each other, with him to your right, followed by Viserys and Aemma. In front of the queen was her Rhaenyra, then Alicent by the left, Gwyane, and finally your father, who sat before you.
Daemon does not relent as you both dress. He is adamant in covering your skin with bruises and bites. You are not surprised that he makes you wear something that showcases your decolletage, but you at least find solace in the fact he makes you keep your hair down in its natural state.
There was something serene in the sinister in the way Daemon strokes your arm and pushes your hair back. You knew he was doing this to rile Otto up, yet did not know why your body found comfort in his touch.
But in a flash, you were nothing but uncomfortable when your twin drops his silverware and blurts out, "you will not lose your hand if it does not grope my sister as we feast."
Gwayne clenches his jaw, expecting him to pull away.
Daemon, who had been rubbing the your back all the way to the side of your breast, turned to your brother, who sat across him.
Instead, Daemon moves your hair to one side of your shoulder and caresses your neck with the back of his hands, "oh, but you see, now that I've..." he smiles, "sampled your dear sister, I fear that it might."
Otto is next to drop his utensils. Your body burns at Daemon's words and you can do nothing but lower your head in mortification.
Viserys sniggers. Aemma glares and nudges him.
"You would not understand this, for you are unmarried," Daemon says turning his head, "but perhaps your father will."
Viserys nearly chokes on his meal, but then clears his throat, "brother-" he withholds his laughter, "-that is quite enough." The king looks at the faces across the table, none of them but him and Daemon finding this predicament amusing, "I'm sure everyone is... overjoyed that you and your bride have found marital bliss, but do keep your manners," he nods, "you are seated before the king."
Daemon turns to Viserys and straightens up. He nods, "my king."
Viserys clears his throat again and nods, "manners, brother."
"Hmm, like you with Aemma?"
Rhaenyra pushes her chair back and stands. All turns to her and her sour expression as she speaks, "I'm quite finished with my food. If I may be excused... my king."
Otto stands next, his chair skidding behind him, "I am quite finished with my food as well," he nods at Viserys, "I wish you a good meal."
Your belly rolls when he looks at you.
"Daughter, might you walk me out of the room, there is something I wish to discuss with you."
"She is quite busy with her food," Daemon immediately answers for you, "if you wish to speak something, speak it in front of us."
Your throat tightens.
"Tis a personal matter," Otto speaks firmly, "I would not put my child in an uncomfortable position."
Gwayne watches your expression, feeling unrest because of your glaring discomfort.
"But you've already done so announcing your desire to speak to her so that she could not refuse," Daemon snaps.
Your chest begins to constrict. Gwyane picks up on how your breath quickens.
Otto clenches his jaw, "I wish to speak to my daughter."
"Yes, and I say fuck off."
"Daemon," Viserys finally snaps, turning to the said man. The king turns to you, peering past Daemon, "you may speak to Otto if you wish, or you may simply continue with your meal."
You turn to your skirt and clench the fabric in your hand.
Daemon rubs your nape and your skin reacts with goosebumps. You gasp when his hand is snatched away by Viserys. You turn to them, struggling to breath as you watch them bicker in High Valyrian.
Aemma tries to interject, but the brothers do not acknowledge her.
The room is silenced when you stand. You feel everyone's gaze on your skin. "I wish-" you speak through a heavy breath, "-to retire."
"Sister," Gwayne calls to you.
You want to turn to him, but you fear you will crumble in tears if you do.
You run out of the room before anyone can respond. Your heart drums in its cage but tell yourself to run and keep running.
"She is my wife," Daemon says.
Gwyane stands, ready to chase after you, but Daemon blocks him and their bodies violently collide. He shoves him back and Gwyane is about to lunge at him but hears the voice of her baby sister calling his name in concern.
"Then fucking go after her," Gwayne snaps, raising an arm, "she is going to be heading to the temple, undoubtedly."
"Go on!" Otto snaps, pointing a finger, "chase after her."
Daemon seethes at the instruction. Dare he? He'll break the arm that fucking finger is connected to. He wants nothing less than to do so what that cunt says.
"Go to her, Daemon," Viserys urges.
He stares at his brother, offended by his alliance with the fucker. Now he is really not going to do that. He's left with no other choice but to leave the damned dining room though. How lucky of him to run into the Cargyll twins on his way out.
"You," Daemon barks, calling the attention of the two men. He marches over to them, hands balled tightly into fists.
"My p-"
"The fucking Hand has upset the bitch again," the prince snaps, "she's run off in a fit to gods know where. Her cunt twin said she'd go to the temple, but maybe she's fallen dead halfway through her sprint."
The twins turn to each other in horror.
"Ah, if only the gods were that kind," Daemon scoffs then looks between them, "find her. I do not wish to hear her pathetic sobbing."
Erryk's nostrils flare. Arryk clenches his jaw and nods. The latter begins to walk off and has to reel his brother by the arm to follow.
Daemon storms off to the dragon pit.
Arryk eyes his brother. Erryk's eyes remain on the prince, until his twin calls his attention.
You arrive at the temple of the Seven, forehead and nape sheened over with sweat. You nearly collapse before the Mother. The only reason you do not, is because two septas catch you before you collide with the shrine of candles. Upon recognizing you, they are quick to attend to you, saying they will get you water and a towel.
Running is a horrid activity. You find that your heart cannot keep up, and you are pushed into horrible breathlessness. Your father was strict to never let you run. You do not know if it simply because you are not capable of running or because of your affliction that you are this way.
You thank the gracious septas for their care and ask them if they would pray with you. Unable to deny you, a woman so devout and so pitiful, they help you get on your knees and you recite The Mother's prayer together. At some point, you begin to weep, and then it becomes increasingly harder for you to breathe. The septas have to stop praying and attend to you again.
"Princess!"
You are sat down on the floor. Soon the two septas are replaced with two men, both dressed in steel, one as seemly as the other, albeit their faces being laced in abject concern. You frown as you look between Arryk and Erryk's worried features. Your scratch your eyes as they speak to you. The weight in your chest makes it hard to understand.
Whoever was carrying you does not hear it, but his brother does. He says, "wait, Erryk. What is it, princess?"
You hiccup as one of them comes to swoop you into their arms. You do not realize you were being carried out of the temple until you are outside. "Wait," you sigh when you managed to catch a breath, "wait."
"I wish to pray," you mutter, eyes still wet with tears, "please."
Arryk looks at you. Erryk shakes his head, "we have to bring her inside."
"Erryk," Arrryk knits his brows, "she wishes to pray."
"She is in no condition to—" Erryk's words falter when your hand comes to his cheek.
You feel your lips tremble and you barely manage to speak, "please."
A line forms between his brows at the sound of your weak voice, "my prin-"
"Erryk," you stroke his cheek, "I need this."
Arryk looks between you and his brother. He watches him sigh and turn back. He follows after Erryk as he goes up the stairs, back towards the shrine.
You are placed before the Mother once more. You sigh and allow yourself repose. The twins leave you to your prayers, standing by not too far off.
Erryks eyes remain on you. Arryk's eyes remain on Erryk.
"You tread a dangerous path, brother."
Erryk does not tear his gaze away from you.
Arryk sighs, turning his gaze from his twin to you.
You sit on your knees, one arm rested on the plinth as you take a stick and light it. You whisper, "mummy," then light a candle, "me," then light another.
Both twins feel fangs rip into their stomachs as they watch you. Erryk's features are more honest to it however.
It is why Arryk catches it and speaks again, "you are sworn to her, you fool."
"And you are not?" Erryk snaps, turning to his twin.
The brothers stare at each other for a moment. Arryk purses his lips and tilts his head, "I am not in love with her."
"Then leave," Erryk motions with a nod. He shifts in his spot, linking his hands together as he turns back back to you.
Arryk huffs and clenches is hands. His ears perk at the sound of your hushed sobbing. His heart clogs his throat.
Erryk sighs through his nose, "you are still here."
"I cannot leave her."
Erryk turns to Arryk, "then you are just as foolish as I."
"I-" Arryk starts. He cannot look away from you, "... I am sworn to her."
"She is beautiful," Erryk says.
Arryk finally tears away his gaze, but as he shoots his brother a warning look, his brother's eyes are back on you.
"She wove flowers into my hair mere hours ago," he knits his brows, "she laughed and beamed and glimmered," Erryk sighs, "now she crumbles and weeps and hurts."
Arryk knits his brows, just as deep as his twin's.
You wipe your tears as you soothe yourself. You voice goes low again as you continue to pray.
"I am not a fool," Arryk says
Erryk laughs dryly, turning to him, "very well. If y-"
"I know she is beautiful," Arryk cuts him off.
He purses his lips.
Arryk gulps, "outside and within."
"As I said," Erryk replies, "just as foolish."
"I do not understand what could posses someone to hurt such a creature."
"Perhaps there is no soul to posses."
Arryk shakes your head, "you cannot allow your anger to get ahead of yourself, fool. You are glad the prince did not notice."
"The prince is too caught up in himself to notice anything that does not directly a..." Erryk's words go dry.
Arryk knits his brows, finding his twin was staring at something behind him. He looks over, stiffening when he catches the very person they were speaking of walking over.
Daemon makes a beeline towards you. He stops just behind you, lips and brows tense at the sound of your evidently upset voice. "Should you be doing this?"
You perk at the sound of the voice and look over your shoulder. You stare at Daemon, unsure if you were imagining him or if he was really there. You find that you don't really care if he's real or not, "will you pray with me?"
He does not like that you do not answer his question. He shifts on his spot, "did you faint or fall out of breath?
You turn back to the candles, "you must not be real."
"What?"
"I do not think my husband would care," you mutter, clasping your hands together in prayer.
Daemon does not move.
"You would pray with me then," you add, "you are kind."
The prince's face contorts. He feels like he is choking. He comes to your side, slowly coming to his knees. He clasps his hands together, propping his elbows in front of him. He is taken aback by how you rest your head on his shoulder with no hesitation. He stiffens and a part of his mind screams to shove you away. He does nothing of the sort though.
"I tire," you admit.
"Then we sh-"
"Tell him to grant me my prayer."
Daemon slowly turns his head to look at you. He sees the way the tears trickle down from the bridge of your nose, "tell who?"
"The Stranger."
Daemon turns to the statue of the Mother. He wants to be difficult and tell you to simply move to the other statue, but instead he asks, "what is your request?"
"Death."
He turns back to you, expecting you to name a name. You do not, so he asks, "your father?"
Your brows furrow, "no."
He turns to his hands. An unnamable emotion seizes him, "so... your husband?"
You finally lift your head. You turn to him, a deep frown on your face, "I do not wish you harm, Daemon."
He turns to you.
New tears burn down your cheeks.
A new unnamable emotion seizes him at the sight of your wobbling lips.
The twins find themselves looking away when the prince wipes your cheek.
You lean into his touch, "I have prayed for the same thing every night since I was ten."
Daemon's forehead curls, "what do you pray for?"
"To die."
The hand he had on your face tenses.
"It is pointless," you push his hand away, retreating from his touch, "my pain does not subside. My heart and flesh grow weaker each day."
Daemon is uneasy as you turn back to the Mother. He shakes his head, "I do not think the gods listen to such sinful prayers."
"Sin?" you chuckle under your breath.
Somehow your laughter sounds is sadder than your cries.
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision.
The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
You stare at his outstretched palm, then look up at him as he stands. You are loathe to move. You do not think you can, even if you wanted to, "I tire."
He leans over, draping your arm around his shoulders, "I'll bring you to bed."
You say nothing as Daemon pulls you in and carries you in his arms.
For the final time tonight, another unnamable emotions grabs hold of him. It further intensifies when you rest your head in the crook of his shoulder.
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