prettykylie-blog
Pretty Kylie
I'm not pretty but I will be one day. This is the only place where I can truly be honest.
17 posts
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222.4
i don't know if it's unhealthy to only eat salad every day (lettuce, tomato, carrot shreds, olive oil, goat cheese) it feels like i've got all the important food groups covered... I don't know, I don't seem to feel that hungry anymore so...
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222.6
Too bad it isn't 222.2 LOL! I'm finally loosing weight again! Yaay! I got my tablet! i still haven't opened it yet. i feel sooo nervous! like what if i open it and i suck at it and my parents just wasted all this money on nothing? i don't want to disappoint them or myself and i know they're gonna want to see what i draw. i don't know, it's weird.
Anyway, all I've had today is lettuce with goat cheese and olive oil and some black coffee with whipped cream on it. I want to see 219.9999 ASAP!!! I can't stand being in the 220's anymore! I'm 16 dammit, I should have been below 200 a long time ago!
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225.4
I flat ironed my hair, plucked my eyebrows and painted my nails with the new nail polish my mom got me (out of guilt that my tablet still isn't here,) but no matter how pretty i feel, of course I'm still fat. Fat and 16.
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224.6
Well... I was 224.6 this morning but I ate a bunch of sushi and some strawberries (with whipped cream on them) and some popcorn with chipotle hot sauce (0 calories though!) i can't believe i'll be 16 tomorrow. mom said my tablet's not here yet, which sucks. I was hoping she was kidding but I don't think she is. Oh well, I'm not going to be a spoiled brat about it. i just hope it comes soon. Nobody else is getting me any presents so...
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227.5
I really have no right to be wondering this now being that I'm such a fatass who fucked u her diet today but I really wish I knew when the Pinkberry in downtown SF was opening. Why can't they give an exact date???
I also want my tablet NOWWW! My birthday is in 6 more days. I can't wait. I have to be at 223 by then! I'm 227.5 right now... SUCKS.
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faaatt
I feel so disgusting and bloated right now. I had Chipotle for lunch and a huge big ass lasagna with bread for dinner. I feel so faaattt and grosss. I exercised for 1 hour today by walking around at the mall (hence the Chipotle.) I was in the fitting room of the Nordstroms looking at the fat behind my legs and it's like OHMYGOD why would anyone's legs look like that?
Human beings have been around for thousands of years. How is it that mother nature or evolution or whatever couldn't figure out a solution for CELLULITE??? Like I wouldn't even mind being fat so much if i wasn't also DEFORMED and LUMPY.
My friend says 'women have cellulite but men have baldness.' I'd rather be bald to be honest. AT LEAST i COULD WEAR A WIG AND BE SKINNY!
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Goals...
I'm going to be on the exercise bike all day tomorrow.
I ate popcorn with Cholula hot sauce on it. Now my mouth is burning.
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I can't wait for all the MAC nail polishes to come out! There are so many I want to buy!
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Angry
I'm just so angry right now I want to cry. Life is so unfair. Sometimes you just do everything and you do everything right and you work so hard and you still get screwed over. Why bother doing anything at all? just sit around and do nothing and you wouldn't get hurt at all, instead of doing all that work just to get screwed. It hurts so bad. I really do want to cry.
I'll think about back when I was 12-14 and I used to cut a lot on my arms and legs. and after I made myself stop (thanks to lexapro and my therapist) it even got to the point where I was like "Oh wow, did I really used to cut? What was wrong with me?" But now at this moment I remember all the pain and I WANT TO CUT RIGHT NOW because if I was cutting all the pain would go away and I wouldn't cry at all.
I'm crying right now in bed and I'm so embarrassed. I don't want to cry. I don't want to feel. I wish i was dead really. Life is so pointless. There isn't even anything that really makes me happy. I mean I like looking at pretty things and I like watching certain tv shows and reading certain books and obviously i like eating a whole bunch of food but really, i'm just better off dead. I'm only 15 and I'm already dead inside. i'm a worthless sack of fat.
even if i got really thin and by some miracle none of my skin was saggy and i looked like a normal girl, and then what? it's not like my life would magically change. it would still be me working as hard as i can, doing my best, getting fucked over and then crying and wanting to cut myself. the pain never ends. life just sucks. happiness is a lie.
i really do wish i could kill myself. but i want to be 125 before i do. at least accomplish that goal so they can't say 'she killed herself because she was a fatty.'
I DONT WANT TO CRY I DONT WANT TO CRY I DONT WANT TO CRY.
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Honesty.
I wasn't going to put my weight on here because it's too embarrassing but then I realized:
1- No one knows me on here
2- I'm supposed to be honest
3- It will help me keep track of my weight loss
4- It might help other people if they read this
So.... Yeah. I'm 225.6 lbs today. I'm a fatty-fatty-fat-fat. I'm not the skinny Juicy Couture surfer girl in my picture. But I will be! I'm going to be loosing weight this whole summer and I'm going to keep this tumblr as motivation and to keep a progress report! I have to post on it every day!
My ultimate goal is to be 125!
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hi
It's 1:35am Thursday and it's summer vacation with nothing to do tomorrow. I ate like half a bag of popcorn. so gross. So anyway, I did this tumblr thing but it's really confusing so I'm going to have to figure it out. I need it to look really pretty.
Ummm... Yeah. my parents are getting me a Bamboo Create Tablet for my birthday! I'm sooooo excited! I can't wait!. Twelve more daaaaays! I would have searched around the house and found it already but i think they didn't even order it off the internet yet. or maybe it's at mom's office. i wish they could just give it to me already. This waiting is torture. There's so much stuff in my head i wanna draw and drawing on paper with no scanner is just not the same.
I can't wait to draw stuff! and then my tumblr will look really pretty! anyway i want to loose 12 pounds in the next 12 days for my birthday. I'm not even gonna say what weight I am but tomorrow (today) i'm gonna use the exercise bike in the garage and burn off a million calories. i have to! if i did that every day, i'd be super skinny for jr year!
i'm not a pro ana wanna or anything im loosing wait by exercising and eating less.
anyway no need to make a whole life story right now. i have a lot to say but let me make the blog pretty first.
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