prettysurethatsakidney - Tumblr blog

prettysurethatsakidney · 3 days ago

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Totally Casual

Chapter 1

pairing: main!mark grayson x superhero!reader

word count: around 2.3k

synopsis: you're smart in so many ways, but not when it comes to your film class you can't give two riffs about. so, mark grayson's assigned to you by your professor to be your personal tutor! you don't know mark that well, but that doesn't mean you're eager to learn more. (college au!)

warnings: 18+ (MDNI), AFAB reader, reader is lowkey lazy in this chapter lol, mark is sweet but has the potential to be a shifty character, some suggestive comments but not really, not canon to the invincible timeline, will get angsty in future chapters (why? well, you'll have to stick around and read).

a/n (read!): i've made the decision to post the long invincible fic in chapters (with this being the first one)! the whole thing's drafted, but i still need to go through and edit things i'm not entirely happy with. to be honest, I don't think i'm at the point in my writing journey where i can confidently publish one, long fic lol. so, while i don't have a set posting schedule, just know that the chapters will be posted faster than if i had taken the other route. also, reader's powers are based off angel salvadore's, a character from the film x-men: first class!

One of the top 10 worst moments in college is when you're forced to take some random hour-long class for credit. What's even worse is when 1) the class doesn't even capture your attention in the slightest and 2) the professor is a drab and god-awful lecturer.

Hence, it only makes sense that all of these factors combined often result in you dozing off in the back of a dark classroom while those old and silent French films play in the background.

Now, you had enough self-awareness to realize that this wasn't the brightest moment in your college career. In fact, you should probably be embarrassed that the film class you were taking for a fine arts credit was your worst grade, teetering from a cool B- into the C+ range. You've taken some of the hardest math and science classes that the university has to offer, but your stark lack of interest regarding the exploration of "past, present, and future implications" of old, colorless, silent, and grainy French films may just be your downfall.

You let out a yawn. You don't even try to keep your head from descending. After showing up to maybe half of the lectures and skating by with the gracious curve, you took solace in the fact that it's just one class. Soon enough, you'll be free from its exams about movies you didn't even bother to google the synopsis of.

Just as you're about to fall asleep, you hear someone talking to... you?

“Is anyone sitting here?” Someone whispers a bit too loud, drawing shhhs! and nasty glares from those around you two.

You lift your head. You're slightly agitated that someone decided to talk to you when you were very clearly just trying to sleep. “No.”

“Ok, thanks,” the person responds.

You let out a quiet mhm and hear the person drop their bag and maneuver themselves into the seat.

Silence engulfs the room again, presenting you with the opportunity to "rest your eyes."

Then, the professor walks over and flicks the light switch. You notice that several students around you grumble and raise their heads, a tell-tale sign that they too were sleeping in a class that they could care less about.

You reach down to grab your bag and awkwardly try to push your chair in despite there being little room between the rows of desks and seats.

You begin to walk, but a hand darts out and gently grabs your arm.

What?

You turn around and meet the gaze of some man. He opens his mouth and says your name. You realize that it was the random who asked to sit in the seat next to you.

Your mind must be quicker than your mouth today because you fall silent when you take in how attractive this man is. He's wearing khakis that fall comfortably at his ankles and also has a navy blue sweater with a yellow collar peeking up from underneath. The sweater's lack of pilling probably makes it the softest thing in this stuffy room.

“Uh, hey. I’m Mark Grayson. The professor asked me to help you perform better in the class because everyone’s doing so well that the curve on the final probably won’t be in your favor.”

Mark, maybe that was a little too forthcoming?

You raise an eyebrow and shoot him a pointed expression. “The professor told you all that about me?”

Mark sucks in a breath like he was embarrassed that he just announced your film incompetency to everyone within the radius. “Well not exactly with those words. He pulled me aside the other day after class ended and showed me a line plot of grades, and your grade is kinda the lowest. You’ve been passing most of these tests because the professor told me he doesn't really feel like failing anyone. But admin’s come down on his ass for that, and the exam’s worth 40% of our final grade. So, he's worried that you’ll fail the course because the final's not going to be curved.

“Oh.”

Alright. Cool. If old age doesn't kill you, the sheer amount of humiliation that consumes you from this interaction with Mark definitely well. You take this as a sign to actually pay attention if you have to take electives in the future.

“I mean, it’s fine! I googled your name when I got back to my dorm–”

You tilt your head and give Mark another look.

“Not to be creepy, or anything!” He raises his hands in surrender. “I just only knew the name I’d be helping, not the face. But what I’m trying to say is that I saw you had several publications in really renowned academic journals about Chemistry. So, I know you’re not like. Totally stupid.”

“Did you just say that I’m not ‘totally stupid?’ You know that still implies I’m stupid, right?” You tease.

Unfortunately for you, Mark misses your sarcasm. His face heats up and he drops your arm.

“Not at all!” He shouts. Several people trying to squeeze behind you two turn their heads in confusion, which makes Mark lower his voice. “No. I’ve never been good with words. I’m just saying I know it’s not because you don’t understand the films, but more so because you’re just not paying attention.”

You smile. “Mark. I know. I’m just joking around. I’ll do whatever the professor wants you to do so he gets off both our backs.”

Mark gives you a small grin. “Ok, so I can probably just give you my number? The professor wants us to meet up twice a week so I can ask you a pre-established list of questions about the films we’re watching in class.”

You can’t wait to tell Amber and Eve about the hot guy in your film class who’s also going to be your tutor.

You rustle around in your bag's front pocket and pull out your phone. You open up your Contacts app, and press "create new contact."

“Here. Just put your number in here and I’ll text you when I get back to my apartment.

“Ok, perfect. We can meet at the coffee shop next to the science building tomorrow? I’m not sure if I’m supposed to tell you this, but we’ll have a pop quiz next class.”

You nod your head a bit too eagerly. “That works. Are you free tomorrow around 2 pm?”

Mark contemplates for a second before responding. “Are you good with 2:30? I have a club meeting that gets out at 2:15.”

“Sure. See you then, Mark.”

You basically sprint back to your apartment in record time so you can relay the whole chain of events with Mark Grayson to Eve and Amber, your rooomates.

When you arrive, you throw open the door, eliciting startled looks from Eve, who’s chopping onions on the counter, and Amber, who’s typing away on her computer on the couch.

“This super hot guy named Mark Grayson is going to tutor me in my film class because I never pay attention and if I fail this final it could really screw over my grade and I could be forced to retake that class or a different one for my fine arts credits.” You blabber out in a single breath.

“You’re interested in a guy? Weren’t you just saying last night how you think all men on this campus are, and I quote, ‘whores and imbeciles who only care about sex and beer?’” Amber inquires.

You grimace. Maybe you did have some choice words about the men on this campus, but Mark just felt different. “Yes, but I’m wrong.”

“And I thought hell would freeze over before you’d admit that you were wrong about anything,” Eve jokes, letting out a low whistle. “What did you say his name was, again?”

“Mark Grayson.”

You swear tension floods the room once you say Mark’s name again.

“Does he have like, dark hair?” Amber winces.

“Yeah…” You answer, suspiciously.

“And does he have a beige backpack that looks like it’s hanging on by a thread?” Amber adds cautiously.

“I don’t remember what his bag looked like, but probably.”

Eve sighs. “That’s Invincible.”

“What?” You sputter.

The same guy who’s a silent French film whiz is Invincible? The guy who’s capable of drilling holes into mountains and bringing droves of villains to their knees?”

“Should we really be outing his identity?” Amber asks reluctantly.

“I mean, she has powers herself and sometimes helps fight criminals,” Eve shrugs. “She also knows I’m Atom Eve, and I know Mark’s Invincible because we sometimes cross paths. Big city, not a lot of heroes. She's going to meet him at some point”

Amber smacks her head and looks at you. “I forget that you have powers and are a literal fairy. You always wear long sweaters and stuff that hide your wings.”

“Yeah, I’m not exactly the most discrete person if I don’t,” you respond.

Amber nods her head and pauses for a second. “Totally understandable. But since we’re in the comfort of your own home, can you do the thing?"

You give Amber a grin before slipping off your sweater, revealing a backless top. You turn around and show what looks like a tattoo of a full set of dragonfly, insect-like wings that take up the eternity of your back. The lower set wraps a little around your hipbones, and the top set reaches a little past your shoulders.

You unclasp the back, letting your shirt fall loose. You’re thankful that the strap of the collar that rests at the top of your neck continues to give you some coverage. Not because you're ashamed, but more so because you felt a little odd about giving your two roommates an inadvertant strip show.

With a little shrug, your wings mold up off your back. What usually appear to be black lines transform into purple wings that lift you a couple feet into the air.

“I really wish you’d do that more often. You look so hot,” Eve groans, making both you and Amber laugh.

You lower yourself to the ground, letting your wings detract back into their line form. You reclasp the back of your shirt and pick up your sweater you had tossed on the floor.

“Wait, how’d you know that Mark’s Invincible?” You ask Amber once you’re resituated.

“We kind of talked for a bit? I started to detract from whatever we had going on because it just wasn’t working. Mark, however, thought it was because he was being all secretive. That was partly true, but I already had pieced together he was Invincible after he'd randomly bail on me in the middle of our hangouts and Invincible would appear on the news minutes after. But anyways, he decided to fly through my window and reveal his secret identity to me,” Amber explains.

“He did all that for a talking stage?” You ask, trying to keep your jaw from dropping to the floor.

“I guess so?” Amber asks, clearly confused herself. “I laughed at him and told him that while his weird secrets were definitely annoying, I just didn’t feel a click. He was super embarrassed and swore me up and down to secrecy. So now, I’m a civilian who knows about Invincible’s ‘secret identity.’”

You make a mental note that once Mark has his mind set on something, he’s devoted.

“And you’re alright with me… pursuing something with him if the opportunity presents itself?”

Amber laughs. “Yes. Please don’t let a two-month high school situationship derail your fun.”

“Are you going to let him know you have superpowers?” Eve then asks.

“Um. No. This could be one-sided for all I know. Also, how would I even approach the topic? Hey Mark, Eve, yes, that Eve, told me that you’re Invincible. I also have powers, wanna see?”

“Point taken. I mean, if things get serious, it’ll come naturally,” Eve assures you. "Also, I have heard rummagings of Mark becoming somewhat of a player. He's still nice, don't get me wrong. But just be aware that maybe you should seek something casual before becoming too attached."

"Casual," you say like you're testing out the word, "I can do casual. I can definitely do casual."

Mark definitely didn't strike you as the "player" type: he stumbled over his words and looked like he was about to disintegrate every time you opened your mouth. But what's the harm in getting a little involved? "Dipping your toes in the water" as some may say.

However, as ashamed as you are to admit it, the rest of your evening is spent thinking about Mark. While the Invincible tidbit that Eve shared is at the forefront of your mind, so is your upcoming tutoring session. You know that this isn't exactly "casual" behavior, but you're too wrapped up in the thrill of having a new crush to care.

Your very uncasual behavior is why you find yourself tossing and turning in bed later that night, still unable to shake Mark from your mind. Is this all a bit much for a guy you met about 12 hours ago? Yes. Can you bring yourself to care? No.

You pick up your phone and turn it on, seeing that the time's just a little past midnight. There's a fair chance that Mark would be up, right?

With giddy hands, you pull up Mark's contact and begin drafting a message.

Hey! You type out. I just wanted to say thank you for helping me not fail film lol

You punch the “send” button.

You could've sworn a part of your soul elevated when you saw three little grey dots appear not even thirty seconds later.

You wait in anticipation, watching the dots disappear and reappear for about twenty seconds before Mark replies.

No problem! Looking forward to tutoring later :)

Sure, finding your tutor attractive is a little ethically questionable because they can be an authority figure in some senses. But, it’s not like Mark’s your TA or anything like that; he just happens to be in your film class and also just happens to excel in it.

He also just happens to be the hottest guy you’ve ever seen.

a/n: reader is def head over heels... reblogs and likes appreciated...

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prettysurethatsakidney · 26 days ago

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Oh Baby | PART 1: OH BABY

Manny Alvarez x Reader Insert Fic

Summary: You thought you and Manny were people careful. It was only supposed to be a friends with benefits situation. Now it's something more.

Warnings: 18+ Only, smut, pregnancy, fluff, angst, canon violence, sparse use of Y/N, we are playing fast and loose with the actual canon and character depiction so if that's gonna bother you don't read, but if not, you'll like this.

Word Count: 7.5k+

A/N: WAIT! WAIT! BEFORE YOU CHOSE TO SCROLL! I know you've read those warnings. I know you're thinking 'uggghhhh nooooo, not a pregnancy fic' trust me, I get it, it's not usually my bag either, which is why you can trust me when I say, this isn't that kind of pregnancy fic. This isn't sunshine and rainbows. This isn't a honeytrap. It's angsty and dramatic and messy as well as human and fluffy and at times sweet. It's raunchy and real and I really can't believe I've written this kind of a story. So before you write it off and choose to scroll, please give it a go and if it's still isn't for you that's fine. But for those who continue to follow me on the journey of this story, I really hope you enjoy. As I said in the warning I am playing a bit fast and loose with the canon events. I haven't gone back and double checked who said what in the scenes in the lodge so don't come for me (after all its such a small part of the story I'm telling) but read, like, reblog and most of all enjoy!

“Oh would you just hurry up already,” you said to him, exasperated as you waited for him to pull his pants down. You had already pulled your own down and your ass was getting cold. Not to mention if you were both gone for too long the others would get suspicious.

“Shut up, I’m working on it,” he huffed, as he finally managed to get his cock out of his pants.

There was a beat as you heard him work his hand up and down himself a few times, trying to make sure he was ready, his fingers dipping into your slick to help lubricate himself and make sure you were good to go. But you’d been good to go since you caught him taking a cold shower this morning. It was the thought of his bronzed skin and toned abs that had gotten you into such a state that you knew you would need to sneak away for a quickie the moment camp was set up.

“Oh my god, Manny, come on!” You pressed him.

“I know, I know, just -fuck,” he cursed. “Wait, there we go, there we go,” he said eagerly as he finally lined himself up with your entrance and slid inside.

Just a few months ago you couldn’t have even imagined yourself even kissing Manny, let alone doing this, but now you were addicted. After weeks of him trying to aggressively flirt and wind you up at the same time, you had finally caved. Anything to get him to quit whining about his fucking “manly needs”- but he was good- you couldn’t fault him that.

He always made you cum first before he even thought about shooting his load. Always caring and attentive- if all be it in his own slightly gruff way. You wondered what he’d be like if you could dedicate the space and time to just yourselves for longer than a few minutes. But alas, whilst you were on the road traveling with Abby and the others, there was zero chance of that happening.

You were pretty sure Nora knew you and Manny were fucking each other. Nothing ever got past her. But you were beginning to think it wouldn’t be too bad if people knew anyway. I mean, it was just sex after all. A way to blow off some steam. It was never gonna lead to anything else was it? Or was it?

“Oh fuck,” you panted as he rutted you up against the cold metal wall of the shed you were hiding behind.

“Does that feel good baby?” He grunted into your ear. You turned your head back to him and nodded. “Use your words,” he said breathily into your lips as his forehead rested against your temple.

“Feels so fucking good, Manny,” you whined. He loved it when you said his name like that. He’d had many girls whimper his name just like that over the years, but he had to admit, when you did it, it really made his cock twitch.

“Yeah?” he asked as he moved his hand round to circle your clit and you shivered at his touch. “You gonna come for me princess?” he asked.

“Uh, huh,” you whimpered, your voice shaking as he rocked into you at force.

“Uh God,” he cried out, burying his head into the gap between your neck and your coat. “Come on, baby, I need you to come for me,” he gritted, his fingers over your clit picking up pace. You could tell he was close from the way his body tensed and his breaths became caught in his chest, as he fought with all of his might to hold off until you had cum first.

You closed your eyes and tried to focus on that feeling building inside you, the way his fingers circled, his cock sliding in and out of you at a wicked pace and rubbing at just that right spot that would send you over the edge with enough stimulation. You were so close.

“Come on baby,” he cooed again and you whimpered, your legs shaking and cunt convulsing around him as your climax crashed into you.

“Oh Fuck!” he cried out as he finally let himself go and quickly followed after you.

You felt his hips stutter and his cock pulsate inside you once, twice before he quickly pulled out. You tried not to think about it too much- how he had stayed in longer than normal. He was normally so quick to pull out to minimise any risk, but you’d both been sloppy today.

It’d be fine, you told yourself as you began to pull your pants back up, but it continued to niggle at the back of your mind.

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For the next couple days it was all you could think about. You grew quiet, often falling behind at the back of the group as you made your way towards Jackson, where you’d learnt this Joel guy Abby had been hunting down- for what felt like forever now- was living.

“You okay?” Nora asked as she fell back into step with you.

“I’m fine,” you quickly replied, not wanting to worry her.

“You two have a little spat?” she asked, motioning towards Manny in the middle of the pack.

“What? No!” you quickly said defensively.

“Okay, then why do you keep staring daggers at the back of his head?”

“I’m not staring daggers-“ you began, but caught yourself. “I was just thinking is all.”

“Just thinking… right,” she replied.

“It’s fine, it’s nothing,” you quickly said, trying to keep your tone light.

“Okay, if you say so. But I’m not picking up the pieces if things go to shit between you two,” she said before she began to pick up the pace again, leaving you once more all alone with your troubling thoughts.

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A week later you were fucking again like nothing had happened. You figured after a few days you’d notice if anything was amiss and seeing as there wasn’t anything to cause you alarm, you put it to the back of your mind. It was even easier to do when you were more focused on just being happy to be alive.

You’d had a close call earlier on in the day, a small group of infected getting the drop on you all as you explored a small long abandoned little rural town. If it hadn’t been for Nora’s constant vigilance you all would have been fucked.

“Fuck, this afternoon was far too close,” he panted as he fucked you up against a tree.

“I know,” you breathed back, your hands wrapping tightly around his neck, fingers tangling in his grown out curls sticking out the bottom of his hat.

“Thought I was gonna die,” he said.

“Yeah, then who would I get to fuck me in the middle of the woods,” you joked, trying to make light of things and take his mind off the subject.

“Uh, love burying myself in this pussy,” he said, his teeth nipping at your jaw.

“Oh fuck,” you sighed as the feeling of his facial hair prickled at your skin and sent a shiver down your spine.

You pulled at his hair and he growled as he rutted up into you harder. You could feel he was close. “Don’t forget to pull out,” you reminded him.

“I know, I always do,” he said, before he shifted so he could give you a kiss, his tongue coming out to tangle with yours, the steam from your breathes mingling in the hot air.

“Tell me you’re close,” he sighed into you, his forehead pressing into yours as once again he tried to hold himself back.

You bit your lip and tilted your head back, closing your eyes as you once again tried to focus on your release. You squeezed the walls of your cunt around him, hoping the tension would help, but it just made him cry out.

“Shit! Shit! Shit! Don’t do that. I can’t-“ You felt him twitch before he quickly pulled out.

“Shit!” he gritted again as he slowly lowered you back onto the ground and stepped back. “Fuck! You can’t do that!” he said to you again frustrated. “I almost came inside you. Fuck!”

He quickly moved to place himself back in his pants before he started pacing back and forth to dispel the adrenaline.

“But you didn't, right?” You had to check.

“No,” he quickly said. “No,” he said much calmer, spotting the look of panic in your eyes. “But maybe we should just not do this for a while,” he said and although it hurt you to do so, you quietly nodded and agreed.

“Okay,” you said, but for some reason, it tore at something in your chest. Were you getting feelings for him?

No, no. That would be stupid.

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Another week and a half passed and you finally made it up the mountain that overlooked Jackson, just before a big snowstorm hit.

“We can camp out in there for the night,” Owen said, as he spotted the old abandoned ski lodge sticking out of the snow.

When you all got inside to the main room, the sky was now too dark to see your target until the morning, but you were glad of somewhere safe to rest. You hadn’t been sleeping well the last few nights. You put it down to no longer getting a regular orgasm from Manny, but there was something else that had come back to nag at the forefront of your mind.

You were late. You tracked your cycle regularly. And although your body had been under a lot of stress lately with the hike here, you knew it wasn’t because of that.

That voice had only grown worse again when you had found yourself throwing up at random times throughout the day. Not that much came up. You were all on strict rations to last you until you got back, which meant what did come back up was mostly bile mixed with a few dried crackers.

How had you let yourself be this stupid? And with Manny Alvarez of all people. He’d probably sooner abandon you up here to deal with this on your own than-what? Co parent with you? He was all in on playing the soldier, not the caring father. Fuck! How were you gonna do this?

You lay awake most of the night thinking about it. When you got up at 4am to puke you knew there was no way in hell you were making this up either.

“You okay?” Nora asked you as she came and found you in the bathroom, your back against the cold tiled floor as you just stared up at the ceiling.

“I’m late,” you told her, ripping the bandage off.

She faltered for all of a second before she schooled her features and simply said, “Well shit.”

“Yep,” you agreed as you slowly sat yourself up and shuffled back to lean against the wall instead.

“Is it Manny’s?” she asked as she came to take a seat next to you.

“Yup,” you said with a frustrated eye roll.

“You gonna tell him?”

“Do I have a choice?” you asked, rolling your head to the side to look at her earnestly.

“I mean, it’s up to you,” she said. “But sooner or later I think he’s gonna notice. Unless you’re planning on running away and taking your chances in the woods that is.”

“I mean, who’s to say he won’t march me out into the woods and shoot me to get rid of the problem anyway. Just claim there was an accident or that I got bit or something,” your biggest fear tumbling from your mouth as tears began to well in your eyes.

“He wouldn’t do that,” she reassured you. “I mean, he can be a trigger happy asshole at times,” she said, “but he’s always wanted to do right by you.”

“How do you know?” you asked.

Because I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” she said nonchalantly. “You know, he always falls asleep facing towards you so he can keep an eye on you in the middle of the night.”

“No,” you said, realising you hadn’t noticed that.

“Or how he sneaks some of his own rations into your bag when you’re not looking,” she smiled.

You frowned. You had wondered where the extra protein strips had come from.

“Look, tell him, or don’t tell him, but- I think if you do, you might be surprised about how he reacts.”

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You were able to get a couple of hours sleep before Manny was intently shaking you awake. “Hey Y/N, get up,” he said, his voice more serious than you’d heard it in weeks.

“Huh, what?” You groaned, but he was already moving to kick awake the others next to you.

“Get up. GET UP!” he barked and you suddenly grew worried.

“What is it?” Mel asked as she sat up.

“Oh shit!” Owen exclaimed as he took a closer look out the window.

“Fuck!” Abby sighed.

“What is-“ your voice faltered as you stepped up to the window yourself.

“It’s like a fucking fortress,” you heard Nora mutter beside you.

“They’ll never just fucking give him up,” Owen said rationally to Abby as you began to back away from the window again and move back towards your sleeping bag, that turning nautious feeling in your stomach becoming all consuming.

You should never have agreed to come on this venture, you thought to yourself. There was no way this was gonna end well. It’d be a miracle if everyone made it out alive.

You thought to the living thing now growing in your belly. What if it had come at the right time? As some sort of miracle from above to try and turn you on another path. To get you away from this. Your stomach turned and a shiver ran through you as you were sure all the blood drained from your face.

“Hey, you okay?” Manny asked as he moved away from the group.

“Yeah, I just-“ but you paused. No you were definitely gonna hurl. “Excuse me,” you said before you rushed out the room.

Once again you retched the very little contents of your stomach into the toilet bowl. When your muscles stopped heaving and you could finally take a second to breathe, you flushed the toilet and any evidence of your little discrepancy down the pipes.

“Hey, you okay?” Manny asked again when you returned.

“No, we need to talk,” you said to him as Abby readied herself to go out into the cold.

“Yeah, sure what’s up?” he asked seriously, and although his voice was hushed, you still feared the rest of your group overhearing.

“Not here,” you said, your eyes scanning the room suspiciously before you began to pull him back towards the run down kitchen in the back.

“What’s wrong?” He asked again as you folded your arms defensively and leant back against one of the stainless steel counters.

You took a deep breath, mustering what little courage you had left before you said, “I’m pregnant.”

His face fell. “What?” he frowned, quickly stepping closer to you and dropping his voice.

“I’m pregnant,” you said to him again.

“You sure?” he asked.

“Yep. Pretty sure,” you said to him with a shrug.

“How do you know?” he asked skeptically.

“Well, I’m late for starters,” you sighed frustratedly. “I’m throwing up at all hours of the day. My boobs hurt, I’m tired like- all the time!” you stressed to him quietly.

He was quiet. Deadly silent. And you think it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him truly speechless.

“Okay,” he finally sighed. “So what do we do?” he asked, looking to you for the answers.

“I don’t know. I mean, given the life we live, who knows if it’ll even stick,” you said to him.

“What does that mean?”

“It means, we live a stressful life, shit happens. I might miscarry or… something else might happen to us before I even get close enough to 9 months,” you said with a shrug, trying to weigh up all likely scenarios.

“But what if it does?” he said. “Get to 9 months, I mean.”

“I don’t know,” you said to him worried and he could see the fear and terror in your eyes. You had never wanted to bring kids into this world. Who would ever in their right mind willingly subject new life to this? But unfortunately this was where you were at.

“Does anyone else know?” he asked, looking over his shoulder at the closed door as if he could see through it.

“Nora found me throwing up last night,” you told him.

“And she-“

“Knows you’re the father? Yes,” you said, finishing his sentence for him.

He breathed deeply, letting out a sigh as he rubbed at his face, his fingers pulling at his curls that draped forward over his forehead. “Fuck!” he exclaimed as he pushed them back with both hands, running them down the back of his head until they rested at the back of his neck.

You remained quiet as you let him take a moment to process the bombshell you had just dropped in his lap.

“Okay,” he finally said.

“Okay?” you said, asking him to elaborate.

“Okay,” he said again. “We can deal with this. We’ll just take it day by day, moment by moment until we’re done with tracking down this Joel guy and then-“

“Then?” you asked, fear still in your eyes as you watched him slowly formulate some sort of a plan.

“Then we’ll deal with it. We’ll assess our options. Come up with a plan,” he said.

“Okay,” you said timidly, but you were still just so scared. “You’re not mad?” you asked him as you continued to watch him go back to silently process all this.

“Why would I be mad?” he asked, turning towards you and reaching his hands out to rest on the tops of your arms. It felt comforting. “If I should be mad at anyone it should be myself for not being more careful,” he said.

“Look, just don’t stress. Don’t worry,” he said, trying to find some confidence despite the fact he was absolutely shitting himself on the inside. “We’ll deal with this. Together.”

“Together,” you repeated.

“Whatever you do, just-“ he hesitated, “don’t tell anyone else okay? Let’s keep this a secret for now until this is done.”

“Okay,” you agreed, but you had no idea how well you were gonna do that when you were throwing up every few hours and you felt so tired you could sleep for a whole week.

“Manny,” you said to him shakily, “I don’t know if I can do this,” you confided.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” he said, folding you into his arms and pulling you into his chest as tears began to roll down your cheeks. “I promise,” he said into the top of your head. “No matter what happens. I’ve got you… both of you,” he clarified and his words made you sob.

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The next few hours felt like hell. You were still so tired, you couldn’t bring yourself to eat anything and to top it all off, Abby had fully disappeared into the snow putting everyone on high alert. That alert only increased as you all watched a hoard of infected begin to attack the town down the hill.

“Mel, stay here with Y/N,” Manny began to instruct, “everybody else, outside with me to look for Abby and reinforce the perimeter.”

You felt like your stomach was in knots as you waited for them to return. Every now and again you’d just about make out one of their figures against the backdrop of snow, but the longer it took for them to come back, the worse you felt.

You tried to sip some water at the very least as you sat in front of the large windows with a pair of binoculars keeping an eye on things.

“Are you okay?” Mel asked you as yet another wave of nausea hit and you swayed slightly on the spot.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you lied between slightly gritted teeth, holding the binoculars back up to your face to hide your features.

“Really, because you don’t look fine,” Mel pressed. “You’re as white as a sheet- and don’t think I haven’t noticed you sneaking off to the toilet every 5 minutes.”

“It’s just a stomach bug or something,” you lied. “Probably one of those dodgy out of date protein bars,” you said and she reluctantly seemed to accept that, but she didn’t have time to press you further as you spotted a set of horses racing up the hill. “Shit, we’ve got company,” you said, handing off the binoculars for her to have a look as the others outside began to move into action.

“Looks like Abby,” Mel shouted as you moved further back from the window, trying to control your breathing and will that feeling of nausea to pass.

Within minutes everyone was back inside and racing up to the main room. “Hey, you okay?” Manny asked rushing over to you and pulling you to one side, it was clear from the look on his face he had been thinking about you and worrying the whole time he was outside.

You simply nodded before turning your attention to everyone else in the room, eager to find out where Abby had run off to and who she had brought back with her. Mel was already huddled to one side with the young girl, trying to attend to her already frost bitten fingers.

It didn’t take long for things to turn south as Abby announced that the man who had ridden back up the mountain with her was in fact Joel. You didn’t know if it was meant to be or just sheer dumb luck on Abby’s part, but she made it very clear, very quickly, she definitely wouldn’t be passing up on this particular opportunity.

Although you had heard her going on for years now about getting her revenge and ripping this guy apart limb from limb, it was very different watching it play out. No one else had anticipated an extra witness, but Abby seemed to have thought that out. You couldn’t help but feel sorry for the girl now lying unconscious on the floor, but you also figured it was for the best so she wouldn’t have the memory of all that Abby was currently doing to this Joel guy.

She had fully lost it, shooting his knee cap out with a shotgun before taking a club from some long forgotten golfing bag and going to town, beating the shit out of him with it again and again and again.

You’d seen a lot of shit over the years, the infected themselves being some of the worst of it, but this- for some reason, this affected you way more than any of that ever had. You’d watched children murdered by a firing squad. Men literally hanged in the streets for stealing food. You’d seen broken limbs that stuck out of skin. People's insides, literally on their outsides. And yet still this made your stomach turn worse than any of that.

Eventually you had to turn away, your eyes instead fixating on the father of the child that was now forming inside of you. You silently pleaded with him to do anything. But he just shook his head. He knew better than to mess with Abby in the state she was right now.

“I need some air,” you said to the room as you moved to grab your coat and leave the room, but you didn’t get far as another young girl came charging in.

You were suddenly knocked backwards, your back colliding with a beam as she lunged at you. Before she could do anymore damage though Manny was there, ripping her off of you and holding her firmly in his arms at gunpoint.

“You okay?” he barked in your direction, but you could see the panic hiding in his eyes.

You rubbed at your ribs wheezing slightly where she had winded you, but you were okay and you gave him a silent nod to tell him such. “Yeah,” you groaned as your voice slowly came back to you.

As the young girl noticed the state of the man lying beaten on the floor, she began to fight against Manny, a knife now in her hand clocking him in the head. It took all of Manny and Owen’s effort to wrestle her to the ground as she shrieked in distress. When you caught eyes with Manny again and silently pleaded for him to do something, he finally conceded, encouraging Abby to finish it.

You watched as the young girl continued to scream, willing Joel to get up off the floor as Abby slowly moved with the now broken golf club to stand over his crumpled body. It was too much, the next wave of nausea hitting you so fast all you could do was turn around and retch into the corner.

As you braced your hands against your knees and basically threw up the water you had drunk, your eyes watering from having the contents of your stomach come back out of your mouth again, you slowly began to feel Manny’s steady hands rubbing at your back through your thick coat.

No one said anything, the rest of the room distracted watching the young girl- who was struggling to breath from the kick Manny had given her to her ribs- tried to crawl across the floor towards the man she cared for.

“We need to go. Now!” Owen insisted; him, Mel and Nora already beginning to frantically repack things into bags ready to leave.

“You okay?” Manny asked as he continued to rub at your back as you finally stood back up and looked over your shoulder at everyone else to see if they were looking, but thankfully they weren’t. You slowly nodded and as he saw the colour begin to come back to your face, he allowed himself to part from you to help finish packing stuff up ready to go.

A few minutes later he was helping you put your bag back on. It was noticeably much lighter than the last time you carried it, but you didn’t press the matter.

“Come on, let’s go,” Manny said, reaching for your hand to pull you out the door with him first, the others following behind at staggered intervals, Owen practically having to drag Abby from the scene.

As he encouraged you to start climbing further up the mountain again, back in the direction you had all originally come from, he finally let go of your hand and allowed himself to drop a couple paces back to make sure everybody was on the move; as well as scout the tree line for any stray infected that might have broken off from the hoard Joel, Abby and that other girl had been running from earlier.

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You didn’t stop moving for the next two hours. Every time fatigue hit you and you began to fall behind, Manny always fell back with you, checking in and encouraging you on, consistently giving you false hope of you all getting to have a break soon, but you knew you needed to have Jackson and what happened in that ski lodge well behind you for that to happen.

The only lucky thing was the rest of Jackson were too busy dealing with that hoard of infected to come after you all straight away, meaning you could get as big a head start as possible. But you’d seen the way that girl had looked at Manny. Looked at Abby. The way she didn’t give up. You knew she’d want revenge the same way Abby had and she’d catch up to all of you some day and make that happen.

The thought made you rub absentmindedly at your belly as you contemplated on that future. The inevitability of her tracking you both down and leaving your child an orphan. But one look at Manny told you he’d do everything in his power before he ever let that happen.

It was almost nightfall before you got that rest. Your fingers and nose were freezing cold and you were sure you had tiny icicles forming on your eyelashes.

“You need to eat something,” Manny said as he sat you down in front of the fire he, Owen and Nora had made up.

You were sitting in the living room of an abandoned farmhouse. You could hear Mel and Abby already raiding the pantry looking for anything non perishable that you could add to the group's reserves, but you knew your stomach wouldn’t keep anything down.

You shook your head at him, “No, can’t,” you said, closing your eyes as you focused on willing away that feeling rising in your esophagus again, even though you knew there was nothing there at all for you to bring up.

“You have to,” he insisted. “Even if it’s just a little,” he said and you groaned at him in protest.

“What’s wrong with her?” Owen asked as he stood at Manny’s back where he crouched in front of you, his hands resting on your knees.

“Nothing, just a stomach bug or something,” Manny said quickly, trying to wave him off.

“It’s not contagious is it?!” he suddenly asked worried, his feet quickly shuffling himself backwards like he might catch it.

“No, I just had a dodgy protein bar,” you lied, using the same excuse you’d used on Mel earlier.

The man crouched at your feet gave you a subtle appraising look as if he was impressed at your quick thinking, but you both knew you’d have to come up with some other excuse pretty fucking fast for when your symptoms continued to persist in a few days time.

You stared at the dried blood that ran down from his head to his cheek where that girl had caught him with her knife. You reached out to touch it, shifting his hat back on his head slightly so you could get a better look. “You should probably clean that and put something on it so it doesn’t get infected,” you said and he shrugged.

“Will you help me?” he asked and you nodded.

He came back a moment later with a first aid kit from one of the packs. You rested it on the sofa cushion next to you as you began to take bits out of it, searching for the things you wanted.

He sat himself down on the floor between your legs, his knees resting against his chest so he could lean forward comfortably, his arms wrapped around to rest on his shins. You smoothed his curls back with one hand whilst you began to clean up the wound with an alcohol wipe with the other. He sneered slightly as the alcohol smarted. You deftly picked the fibres from his hat out of the wound, before sealing it with some surgical glue, your fingers pushing the two sides of the cut back together until it set. His fingers slowly traced at the back of your calves tenderly as he waited, his movements subtle so that no one else would notice, but the tenderness of his touch spoke volumes to your overwhelmed emotions and hormones.

“Thanks,” he finally said as you covered the wound with a large bandaid before he shuffled back, just in time for Nora and Abby to come in with food.

He didn’t stray too far from you as you all ate. You slowly picked at the food in your bowl as everyone scoffed theirs down in methodical silence.

By the time you all went to sleep you were shattered. “I’ll take the first watch,” Manny said as everyone began to settle in their chosen spots around the room.

“Who wants to take second?” Abby asked the room.

“Y/N hasn’t done one in a while,” Owen began but one sharp look from Manny had Nora quickly volunteering in your stead.

“Y/N has her stomach bug thing, she didn’t really sleep last night, she can do tomorrow or something,” she said, helping give an excuse and everyone else seemed to accept that.

‘Thank you,’ you quietly mouthed to her when no one was looking, but she just rolled her eyes and brushed you off like it was no big deal.

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You managed to sleep all the way through until 3:30 when Manny and Nora swapped and he came to settle down next to you to keep you close. You turned your body towards him to find him staring at you.

“Go to sleep, Alvarez,” you whispered to him. His eyes softened as they took you in in the dark, his lip slightly quirking upwards, before he rolled onto his back.

You just lay there watching him for a moment as he stared up at the ceiling. He didn’t look at you again, but after a while, his hand slowly shifted across the floor towards you, his fingers reaching for yours- and you let him. You quietly shuffled closer to him, your fingers fully intertwining between your bodies as your head lulled to the side and rested against his shoulder. And that’s how you stayed for the rest of the night, content and safe in each other's presence until dawn.

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You woke at the first crack of light, your stomach once again turning on you and you raced from the main room to the toilet to be sick. This was awful. You hoped it’d get better soon but who knew. You had heard about some women getting morning sickness way worse than others, you had just never thought it’d be you. Then again- you never thought you’d end up pregnant at all.

You leaned forward and wretched into the bowl again. As you braced yourself against the grimy porcelain, rough hands moved to sweep your hair back out the way.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” Manny’s gruff morning voice said as he rubbed at your back again with a soothing hand.

“I’m really starting to hate you right now,” you groaned as you spat into the toilet.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t blame you,” he sighed, fatigue still heavy in his voice.

When you finally felt well enough to sit back from the bowl, he reached over to flush it for you before encouraging you back into his arms. He rubbed soothingly at your back again as you rested against his chest.

“I really hope this part doesn’t last that long,” you told him as you nuzzled into his shirt, soaking in the smell of him. He was slightly sweaty and dirty from the last few days hike, but for some reason you didn’t mind it.

“I think this place still has hot water,” he said as his fingers brushed up and down your arm. “We can take a shower if you want before the others get up,” he suggested, hoping the simple pleasure of hot water would make you feel better.

“Really?” you asked softly in disbelief.

His breath chuffed over the top of your head as he let out a small amused laugh. “Yeah, I checked last night when everyone went to sleep. There’s some half decent towels left in the cupboard too,” he supplied and you finally pushed yourself away from his chest to look at him with a semblance of hope in your eyes.

“Come on,” he said encouragingly as he helped you to stand.

You hovered there in silence as you waited for him to go grab the towels from the cupboard and your packs so you both had some fresh clothes to change into after.

You both continued to exist in that comfortable silence as he turned the water on and steam began to fill the cold bathroom. You watched as he checked the cupboards for any left over shampoo, conditioner and soap, placing them inside the shower before he helped you to strip.

You had always wondered what things would be like between you if given some time and a domestic setting, but you never could have imagined this. He encouraged you to lift your arms up so he could pull your jumper and top off in one go. Next he gently undid your belt before easily sliding your now too big for you trousers down your legs, letting them bunch at your ankles, ready for you to step out of.

You hesitantly lifted your hands to his waist, reaching for the hem of his shirt to help him do the same. Your eyes lingered on his skin as it was slowly exposed to you, your fingers sliding back down the toned muscles of his flesh and sending a ripple of goosebumps over his skin.

Slowly he lifted his finger under your chin, encouraging your eyes to meet his. There was a lingering moment of tension between you before he leaned in to capture your lips in a kiss. It wasn’t hungry or rushed or passionate like any of the other ones you’d shared during your quick moments together in the cold, but tender and soft and it sent shivers down your spine and the backs of your legs.

As he continued to kiss you, he gradually reached down to undo his own trousers and kick them off so you both stood fully naked before one another. “We’re wasting the water,” he mumbled with a faint smile on his lips against your own and you reluctantly broke apart from him to climb into the shower and move under the water.

You let out an audible sigh as you tilted your head back under the flow of hot water. Hot water felt like such a luxury when you were on the road. You closed your eyes as you relished in it, your hands reaching up to run your fingers through your hair and ensure it was thoroughly wet.

You listened closely as you heard him step into the old claw foot tub and slide the curtain closed. Felt the air around you change as he stepped closer to crowd your space.

“Turn around,” he instructed softly and you did, the water instead cascading over your tender breasts and warming your chest.

There was a click clack as you heard him open and close the shampoo bottle, before placing it back on the side with a thud. You tilted your head back towards him as he lifted his hands up to your head. You let out a small moan of relaxation as his fingers began to massage and lather the shampoo into your scalp. His touch was so tender- so gentle- unlike any way you had seen him act before.

You kept your eyes closed as you relished in the feeling. You didn’t think you’d ever had someone else wash your hair since you were a little girl and your mom used to do it. You relaxed back into his touch as he continued to rub and massage your scalp, your fingers blindly moving behind you to brace yourself on his thighs. You were sure you heard his breathing hitch, but you didn’t pay it much mind.

“Turn around again,” he instructed after a couple of minutes and you reluctantly did, your eyes locking onto his dark hazy ones as you stepped back under the running water.

As you lifted your hands to run your fingers through your hair again and make sure you got all the bubbles out, you heard him reaching for the conditioner and getting it ready in his palm. When you felt the shampoo was fully washed out, you caught his eyes and he silently shifted his hand to tell you to turn around again, before he started to run the conditioner through your lengths.

You had never felt so pampered in your life and it was just what you needed after two full days of vomiting hell. When the conditioner was all slicked through your hair, he grabbed the bar of soap and tenderly ran it over your skin as you waited for the conditioner to set in. His hands were soft but thorough as they glided over your skin and rubbed the soap into all your folds and intimate areas.

“What about you?” you asked him when he finally stepped back to let you wash everything off.

“I’ll sort myself out in a minute,” he said, shrugging you off. You had every mind to protest, but the way his soft brown eyes stared at you earnestly, told you how guilty he felt for your current situation and that he wanted to do his best to try and start making amends.

As you slowly washed out all the conditioner and made sure all the soap suds were washed from your body, you were surprised by the sudden feeling of his fingers gliding softly over your lower abdomen- to where you both knew his child was growing inside of you. When you looked at him, you noticed his eyes were laser focused on that spot as he still struggled to come to terms with the reality you now faced.

You were both snapped away from the moment by the sound of a fist thumping on the door. “Hurry up you two, you’re gonna use up all the hot water,” Nora’s voice called out in protest.

You and Manny both shared one more tender look with each other before he finally encouraged you to get out of the shower and he could quickly have his before Nora’s fist hammered on the door once again.

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An hour and a half later, everyone was huddled in front of the fire again, all debating on what the group's next move should be. You had all been on the road moving back and forth from camp to camp, looking for information about Joel so Abby could track him down for so long, you’d never even discussed what would happen afterwards.

“I say we keep heading back to Seattle and join the WLFs like the other fireflies we came across,” Mel suggested.

“I mean, they’re a bit extreme aren’t they?” Nora said.

“Maybe,” Mel said slightly defensively, not liking that her suggestion would need justification, especially after what you had all just done. “But at least they’re in control of the whole city. And there’s a lot of them and Marlene always told me that the way to survive was strength in numbers.”

“I mean, it’s where everyone else has gone,” Owen offered up, not really objecting to the idea.

“Manny, Y/N, what do you think?” Abby asked.

You didn’t know what to think. You’d barely had time to think past the last 24 hours, let alone what you wanted for the future. But you knew you needed to start making a decision- and soon.

You had been a member of the fireflies for so long, you had no idea what you’d be without them. Maybe joining the next best thing was the right move to make. But that didn’t fully factor in the child that was taking form in your body. To be a member of the WLF was to basically be a soldier- and who knew what their leader Isaac was gonna make of your situation when in a few months time it became impossible to ignore.

Not to mention, as a soldier with the WLF you were basically canon fodder. Although you increased your risk of survival against the infected with a large group, you were an afterthought when it came down to missions or inevitable rivalries over territory and resources. Then there was the added element of the girl from the cabin eventually tracking you all down. Being in a large group would no doubt deter her or at the very least make the chances of her succeeding in killing you all a lot harder.

You turned your gaze to Manny hoping he would have an answer. Desperate to know his opinion and what he was thinking.

“I mean, what other choice have we got?” he said to the group. You knew he was fishing to see if there were any other ideas or options, but the way he asked made it seem like he’d already made up his mind on the matter.

As long as you’d known Manny, you had always seen him take the easy option where he could. He was very much a throw my weapon around now and ask questions later kind of guy. Manny had already been a member of the fireflies for three years when you had joined. He was only a couple of years older than you, but it was clear the toll that being placed into survival mode at a young age and being groomed into a child soldier had done to him.

You hoped someone else would have an answer. Hoped someone else would be brave enough to say ‘why don’t we go find a community to join or just try and hack it out in the world on our own just the six of us’- but they didn’t.

When Abby turned her head back to you again for your final say so, all you could do was give a small nod of acceptance.

“I guess that’s it then,” she announced as she got up off the floor, “it looks like we’re going to Seattle.”

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TO BE CONTINUED....

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