privateventblog - Tumblr blog

[privateventblog]

Met a really pretty and charming guy through a dating app. We've been talking for about two days. I really fucking like him.

But I'm also and anxious mess who just went through a terrible break up and I had a panic attack while I was talking with him yesterday where he seemed to pull away a tad afterwards.

And now I'm freaking tf out because I know it was bad to panic like that and I'm way too attached way too soon and I just. ugh. I really don't want to lose this guy, I really want to be friends and get to know him.

But I also know the more desperate I am the more I will drive him away. WHICH IS SO FUCKING DIFFICULT TO BALANCE. I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS. AAAÀHHHHHH.

[privateventblog]

-Rumi

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even though you left, i still deserve love and loyalty. i’m still worthy of those things despite you not being able to provide them for me.

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you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

[privateventblog]

you won't be alone forever, there are people out there waiting for you. You're gonna meet people who make you realize just how special and amazing you are.

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He used to compare me to sunshine. He used to look at me like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Now he can barely stand to be in the same call as me. He can barely even bring himself to agree with me on anything, even small things.

I miss him so much.

[privateventblog]

"someone who allows you to rest" is the relationship dynamic of all time

[privateventblog]

it's not that respect comes before love, but respect and love are linked together. someone who loves you will definitely respect, otherwise they only love how you make them feel as a person, but they don't love you as the person you are.

[privateventblog]

taffy

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yes, babe, you’re sick and twisted, will you come back to bed- what? yes, of course you’re evil and irredeemable. now can you please cuddle with me

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shoutout to slow growers, late bloomers, people whose plans got derailed by circumstances beyond their control or their own choices, people who never had a plan to begin with, people who have had to start over when theyre too old to feel like theyre supposed to be where they are, people who cant pretend theyre built for the environment theyre in, and everyone who's not living the life they thought they would. im proud of you for making it this far and i hope you keep going until youre happy ♡

[privateventblog]

Pretend, for example, that you were born in Chicago and have never had the remotest desire to visit Hong Kong, which is only a name on a map for you; pretend that some convulsion, sometimes called accident, throws you into connection with a man or a woman who lives in Hong Kong; and that you fall in love. Hong Kong will immediately cease to be a name and become the center of your life. And you may never know how many people live in Hong Kong. But you will know that one man or one woman lives there without whom you cannot live. And this is how our lives are changed, and this is how we are redeemed.

What a journey this life is! Dependent, entirely, on things unseen. If your lover lives in Hong Kong and cannot get to Chicago, it will be necessary for you to go to Hong Kong. Perhaps you will spend your life there, and never see Chicago again. And you will, I assure you, as long as space and time divide you from anyone you love, discover a great deal about shipping routes, airlines, earth quake, famine, disease, and war. And you will always know what time it is in Hong Kong, for you love someone who lives there. And love will simply have no choice but to go into battle with space and time and, furthermore, to win.

—James Baldwin, The Price of the Ticket

[privateventblog]

Watching him put up his hair is something like a religious experience ngl

[privateventblog]

“The end is often a beginning.”

— Unknown

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on brothers

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Almost blocked someone for being a bot because their URL ended in a string of numbers but then I realized the numbers were 42069 and I wanted to apologize like when a nobleman fails to recognize his king disguised in the garb of a commoner

[privateventblog]

Sometimes watching your partner struggle to put his hair up for like 15 minutes is a religious experience.