probablyhistory

[probablyhistory]

what a fucking year this morning has been

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John Quincy Adams wouldn’t have worn airpods and ignored us. Please for our next president jqadams 2020. He has one term left

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I found this page called “Iberian Crusade Memes” on Facebook and I’m losing my damn mind

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Roman Emperor Julius Caesar is overthrown (44BC)

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These ancient mosaic fragments,  slightly submerged in the sea, can be found on a deserted stretch of minor road on the East coast of the Greek mainland, untended, unsignposted, unnoticed. 

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Video Footage of the US Troops arriving at the Location of the Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq (2004)

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King Tut being carried through his people. 1342 BC

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King Tut being carried through his people. 1342 BC

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I spent two years at a top university, was taught by some of the finest modern archaeologists, and THIS is what I learned. 

[probablyhistory]

My Biggest and Most Annoying Fictional Horse Pet Peeve

Big Horses are a Very New Thing and they Likely Didn’t Exist in your Historical and/or Fantasy Settings.

You’ve all seen it in every historical piece of media ever produced. Contrary to popular belief, a big black horse with long legs and long flowing mane is not a widespread or even a particularly old type of horse.

THIS IS NOT A MEDIEVAL THING. THIS IS NOT EVEN A BAROQUE THING. THIS IS A NINETEENTH CENTURY CITY CARRIAGE HORSE.

All the love to fancy Friesian horses, but your Roman general or Medieval country heroine just really couldn’t, wouldn’t, and for the sake of my mental health shouldn’t have ridden one either.

Big warmblood horses are a Western European and British invention that started popping up somewhere around 1700s when agriculture and warfare changed, and when rich folks wanted Bigger Faster Stronger Thinner race horses. The modern warmblood and the big continental draught both had their first real rise to fame in the 1800s when people started driving Fancy Carriages everywhere, and having the Fanciest Carriage started to mean having the Tallest and Thinnest Horses in the town.

Before mechanised weaponry and heavy artillery all horses used to be small and hardy easy-feeders. Kinda like a donkey but easier to steer and with a back that’s not as nasty and straight to sit on.

SOME REAL MEDIEVAL, ROMAN, OTTOMAN, MONGOL, VIKING, GREEK and WHATEVER HISTORICALLY PLAUSIBLE HORSES FOR YOU:

“Primitive”, native breeds all over the globe tend to be only roughly 120-140 cm (12.0 - 13.3 hh) tall at the withers. They all also look a little something like this:

Mongolian native horse (Around 120-130 at the withers, and decendants of the first ever domesticated horses from central Asia. Still virtually unchanged from Chinggis Khan’s cavalry, ancestor to many Chinese, Japanese and Indian horses, and bred for speed racing and surviving outdoors without the help of humans.)

Carpathian native horse / Romanian and Polish Hucul Pony (Around 120-150 at the withers, first mentioned in writing during the 400s as wild mountain ponies, depicted before that in Trajanian Roman sculptures, used by the Austro-Hungarian cavalry in the 19th century)

Middle-Eastern native horse / Caspian Pony (Around 100-130 at the withers, ancestor of the Iranian Asil horse and its decendants, including the famous Arabian and Barb horses, likely been around since Darius I the Great, 5th century BC, and old Persian kings are often depicted riding these midgets)

Baltic Sea native horse / Icelandic, Finnish, Estonian, Gotland and Nordland horses (Around 120-150 at the withers, descendant of Mongolian horses, used by viking traders in 700-900 AD and taken to Iceland. Later used by the Swedish cavalry in the 30 years war and by the Finnish army in the Second World War, nowadays harness racing and draught horses)

Siberian native horse / Yakutian pony (Around 120-140 at the withers, related to Baltic and Mongolian horses and at least as old, as well-adapted to Siberian climate as woolly mammoths once were, the hairiest horse there is, used in draught work and herding)

Mediterranean native horse / Skyros pony, Sardinian Giara, Monterufolino (Around 100-140 at the Withers, used and bred by ancient Greeks for cavalry use, influenced by African and Eastern breeds, further had its own influence on Celtic breeds via Roman Empire, still used by park ranger officers in Italy)

British Isles’ native horse / various “Mountain & Moorland” pony breeds (Around 100-150 at the withers, brought over and mixed by Celts, Romans and Vikings, base for almost every modern sport pony and the deserving main pony of all your British Medieval settings. Some populations still live as feral herds in the British countryside, used as war mounts, draught horses, mine pit ponies, hunting help and race horses)

So hey, now you know!

[probablyhistory]

[probablyhistory]

signs as  john quincy adams things

aries: approved an expedition to the center of the earth because he believed that the earth was hollow and that there was a civilization of mole people who lived in the center of the earth

taurus: woke up early in the morning to read in the library which scared guests leading to a new hallway being built just for him

gemini: the corrupt bargain

cancer: kept an alligator from marquis de lafayette in the east room bathroom to scare off guests

leo: argued against slavery despite the gag rule against talking about slavery in the house of representatives

virgo: "the four most miserable years of my life were my four years in the presidency.”

libra: became the first president to wear trousers

scorpio: wore the same hat for 10 years

sagittarius: his horrible fashion sense

capricorn: had a stroke in the house of representatives debating and then died

aquarius: one time when he went skinny dipping, reporter ann royall stole his clothes until he would have an interview with her. in the end he did.

pisces: he was nicknamed "old eloquent" because he was terribly socially awkward and couldn't small talk for his life

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Greatest thing Thomas Jefferson did for this nation was invent the swivel chair

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The eternal struggle of the historian 

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Having six kids, but only using three names.