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the irony.

She demands for total transparency of your phone and devices, not to only check that you're not cheating, but shame you for the conversations you've had with your friends, family etc, plus delete the sensitive conversions she's had with you (before telegram had the function to delete the conversations of both sides)

She thought she could make a habit out of it, every time she ask for my phone, I gave it to her.

I remember there was once, we were in a taxi, and she asked me for my phone as she usually does, so I asked her for hers...and she went silent.

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So it might seem that she prides herself of the violence she's capable of.

But what is truly admirable is the self control I had for her. Could you imagine the damage I could have done, if I didn't live by my principles?

she never had a fair shot.

This is often a sign that the patient has very low self esteem as well. They may come in and pretend to know more than the doctor, stating research from google, chatgpt etc, with body language of crossing their arms. But it is actually done to mask their low self esteem.

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So you're telling me, after all the hype she's built around her beauty, making her extremely irresistible to men, that her extremely wealthy and successful male friends (top 1% of world type of guy - whom are completely genuine, without a single shred of interest btw), are willing to pay for her trips and vacation? Purely based on the "pretty privilege" she says she has?

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are men willing to pay for vacation and trips, for whatever reason. I just don't think beauty has anything to do with it.

I also don't see why I had to stay in a relationship like that.

It's sad on both fronts - she begged me to stay, whilst flaunting her trips. While the other guys paid for them, cannot even hard launch on social media.

AT the end of the day, when we all move on, and settle down...how long can she play this game for?

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Another very interesting trait of such patients is "splitting". Where their views are often spilt into good or bad. nothing in between.

My experience with one such person always involves topics such as veganism, music, entertainment, beauty, lifestyle, crime, death, down to simple things like flowers, friends etc.

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So why the constant need to pride oneself as INTP?

Who is to verify that she truly is, when it is not even an actual measure of character. In fact, she has been to more places than most people, wouldn't that contradict being an introvert?

It doesn't actually matter, because the point being driven is that she's special, she's unique, it's rare, and most importantly that she's smarter than the rest.

A quick google search, and you would see some of the famous people who were said to be INTP.

It is actually quite a common symptom amongst cluster B patients to identify with people or institutions that are deemed intellectually inclined. And that plays hand in hand with impressionistic speech, to sell the idea that they are.

That is why some people may describe them as being "out of touch" or spot the misuse of certain words in certain context. like "thesis"

These symptoms stem from a place of low self esteem.

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What is the Impressionistic Speech Symptom Criterion of Histrionic Personality disorder?

Over the years, as I review the conversations we used to have, and now with a deeper understanding of the DSM 5, I’ve now come to understand more about the personality disorders she may have.

I hope someday I would be able to return to this matter on a public platform, with a professional approach, hopefully some good can turn out of this and may she seek the help she needs.

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Highly likely she cluster B.

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Thank you Cleo and team, although I have to admit making mistakes in my execution, but you have given me the opportunity to stand up against the abusive oppressor in the process.

It was so toxic that I totally lost my sense of self. She needed to control every aspect of my life - the food I ate, the clothes I wore, the music I listened to, how frequent to work out, pit me against her exes and guys she knew, down to the handle of my instagram (that was why during the photoshoot, your colleague/my ex school mate mentioned that she liked my old shit posting and old handle better, it was funnier, the new stuff just wasn't me) - could trigger a fight, balanced with a touch of love bombing in between. I was weak and invested, and allowed her filth to penetrate my boundaries.

Case in point - on the very evening we did the questionnaire and claimed the swatch, I was supposed to meet my ex for dinner after. Was on the phone with her on my way to town after, and she interrogated me about my answers on the questionnaire. I remember answering 1 question mentioning being catfished, and she flipped, calling me stupid with all sorts of insults because it was too tactless for media, which to my defence, I was just being honest.

As she pushed my buttons, I finally gathered enough courage to rebut "The contest with Cleo is mine, and has nothing to do with you." She lost all power and leverage over me, and she hung up. It felt like a huge weight got lifted off my shoulders.

It was about 9pm when I got home, and I just went to sleep. By 12am, she called me, saying that she's at the airport with Andrew (another guy) flying off to Malta, and it's not her fault, it just happened that he contacted her after we fought and seemingly broke up, but she still wanted to be with me, asking me to wait for her to be back - which to me didn't matter at that point, I'm was just staying at home and doing my own thing to enjoy my peace.

So before you paint me out to be the villain, justify flying off with another guy within 3 hours of breaking up, and using that info to hurt your ex. Because regardless of the mistakes I've made, this was how she would have treated me. This is only 1 episode amongst all the others that I have.

Maybe it was the universe looking out for me while teaching me a lesson, yes it was an extremely embarrassing mistake to make, but 1) it humbled me and made me more empathetic towards my future practice in psychiatry, 2) get out of such a horrible situation 3) put me back on track.

Long story short, it was 2 unemployed dipshits with too much free time, and nothing better to do. It takes 2 hands to clap; 2 wrongs don't make a right.

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She's in misery.

Deep down she's in complete misery.

She doesn't have a complete family, didn't learn to form meaningful bonds with friends and family since young, so she has to talk down to anyone who has or is thinking of having one.

Her poor behaviour makes her unable to keep a man, so she has to tell everyone that it's men's fault for all sorts of reason.

She is unable to complete any formal education, so she has to tell everyone that education is useless.

Her own photos got leaked, so she has to convince other girls to do OF, in hopes that other people will suffer with her.

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actually quite sad for this guy. 

The amount of things she pitted me against this phd guy, to feed off my insecurity and vulnerablilties when we were together, just to get a reaction out of me. You think she never do the same to the other guys meh? Then we all compete to outsmart/outwork each other to give her attention.

This guy has been led on whenever she needed, fixes the mess that she put herself into, but doesn’t like him because of his stalky stature, short arms and voice (as she once told me).

If he’s still stuck in this loop of being just friends, in hopes that he might still have a chance till today…just forget it la. Like bro, you should be smart enough to not waste your time. Even I know how to wake up and dodge this bullet when the time came.

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To me it’s pretty funny.

Remember around the Christmas period of 2018, the night we went to Christmas wonderland at MBS. Under the false pretence of trying so hard to “pacify” me during our break up, she was actually helping her friend grill information out of me, because I apparently accused her friend of stealing another girl’s man. (Say until so big, want to take her old phone to check the messages to prove that she didn’t need to steal any man, in the end also never. All talk only.)

We were supposed to part ways at the end of it all, and we did. But she held on to my wrist so tightly in public, and I didn’t want to cause a scene.

Back at her place, that’s when the emotional torture started. Love bombing me for 5-10 mins, then hitting me for the next 20-30 mins, demanding to know who was the guy I was referring to. 

The friend even mentioned in the conversation between the 2 of them that she didn’t need to steal any man, she had a “tsunami of men” wanting her. And if I spoke nonsense, she would find people to smack my mouth…trust me, she wouldn’t do shit.

And the funny thing is my ex always boasted about her capability for violence. With bios like “she’s beauty, she’s …, she’ll punch you in the face.” And what violence she would commit in different scenarios etc etc. Even during some of our arguments, she would challenge me “then you hit me la!” after hitting me.

But I’m not stupid enough to fall for that. My principle stands, and I’ve said it many times - I do not hit women. And it’s not because I’m super righteous, it’s because i have been battle tested, I know my capabilities. I would absolutely destroy someone of her caliber.

My kindness, does not mean I’m incapable of fighting. I have been training since I was a kid. It is often those with no substance that makes the most noise. And those with real substance that is highly aware what they’re capable of, so I choose not to react - I know the consequences of my actions. 

Do not mistake my kindness as a weakness. Because if she dared stand in a cage with me, what makes you think she could survive past the first 10 seconds? I would light her up like a Christmas tree.

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This was from an email she sent the last time we broke up. 

Can you imagine not? When I have decided to cut her out of my life, go no contact. One moment she say she love you, don’t ignore her, want to see you etc etc…but going on a flight with another guy…

In order to say that you’re the victim, you got to have loved me. But she didn’t. 

In order to critique me, you’ve got to have put in the work that I have. But she could never.

你不够资格爱wo，也不够资格恨我。

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I’ve been doing quite a bit of reflecting lately.

She always like to use the narrative that she’s the victim, got scammed by people.

Back when I was with her, it was HER that kept saying she wants to be with me, love bomb me after each time we broke up, so that I would get back with her. Just so she could check my phone and check that I haven’t told anyone about her behaviour. Attempting to delete the chats. She really think people couldn’t see through her.

It was also her that kept cheating and seeing other guys. Knowing the career that I was pursuing, wouldn’t that put my health at risk? I could’ve caught HCV, HPV, mono…a whole host of diseases from her. That would have ended my career. Thank god I didn’t catch anything. While it was me who stayed loyal, even when times we broke up.

Then during the love bombing after we broke up, saying how much she loves me, want to marry me, sometimes she would mention bto. She’s the one cheating, yet I’m the one who paid and applied for it. 

Scam her what Sia? More like she was trying to scam my emotions and resources.

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I don’t understand why she always pretend to be very involved with worldly matters. 

I mean, I get it if you’re a philanthropist, maybe spending a portion of your resources into improving the world, then perhaps you have a say on humanity la. But no leh, what has she done that is revolutionary or even potentially? Who does she think she is? It’s always like someone standing on the outside, criticising everything on the inside…which is always the case. you wanna do med, she say you’ll never succeed. You wanna eat this or drink that, she say unethical. You wanna listen to music, she say why you worship the artist. you want your insta handle to be humorous, cannot. Every other day talk about having kids, but want surrogate. That’s her whole outlook on life, zero input, but want all the output. cb…you qualified to be mother first not? don’t talk about being a mother la, you qualified to be anyone’s gf anot first?

Can never satisfy this kind of person one la, all talk no walk. Talk about philosophical love from dunno which author (doubt she even read the book), but ownself go fly to Malaysia, Japan, Malta, London, Korea, china, Hong Kong with other guys, and justify it with all kinds of reasons. Can you imagine how insane it is? Break up at 9pm, 12am call me say she on the plane to Malta with Andrew, but still want to be with me, but too late already, cause in the moment of us breaking up for that 3 hours, she agreed to flying off with him. Do you think at that point I give a damn already whether she’s mine or not? I think after the 3rd-4th month, I just patronise her demands, cause nothing means anything anymore. Just watch her play stupid games, win stupid prizes lor.

Then blame the contraceptive thing on me…I’m not the one that is seeing multiple people and needs to prevent pregnancy sia. We weren’t even together when she decided to implant the IUD. She went to the clinic with Weiyang, her fwb, after that got intimacy or not, only god knows la hor. I don’t want to know either.

And I also don’t understand why she likes to flex the guys she leads on or keeps in the friend zone, especially the PhD fella. For what sia, it’s not like she’s the one with the academics leh. 

Then you know how these suiters will try to impress her with a bit of knowledge, but honestly it’s the most watered down, tip of the ice burg kind of information. or she thinks googling certain topics is sufficient. Then she think she very smart but can never go into the technicalities when you converse with her. Then at the end you question yourself, why is this girl arguing with you about intellect when she has nothing to show for?

At the very beginning of knowing her, you would think that maybe she knows quite a broad range of information. But after 2-3 months, cannot smoke anyone one la. Instead of seemingly intelligent, it just seems like this person got too much free time, doesn’t know how to prioritise the important things, no substance but try damn hard to prove something.

At the end of the day, she thinks she very high demand…bro, once they get to know you, no dare to marry you one la.

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She can attempt to name and shame. 

At the end of the day, was she the source of my peace and happiness? nope. Don’t just talk about mine, was she ever the peace and happiness of any one she has dated? I doubt so.

She spoke so highly of Marcus, Junwei…in the end, who dare to marry her? Either that or stuck in the friendzone till the end of time. I couldn’t imagine being so desperate, that I would converse with her at 30+ years old, with each conversation so trivial and out of touch.

All she knew was how to shout at her maid, call her stupid, hit her dogs. Claims she loves animals. Has she ever taken care of them? Not just petting them and having fun, like actually taking care of them - bathing them, walking them, feeding them, cleaning up after them. 

Dating her was incredibly draining and boring. Everyday was a fight. 

Everyday talk about vegan, beauty, this guy, that guy, talk about this girl, that girl…like the whole world owe her liddat. Everyday ask she fat anot. Give her any answer also not correct. Talk about critical thinking but couldn’t even complete the most basic education. 

She would start to ask you about your world views out of nowhere, and after you have answered, she would start to nick pick at things that don’t matter. All her rebuttles are always like an essay struggling to hit the world count. Then when she thinks she finished explaining her point, it always ends with “ya”, with a smirk of pride, but no actual substance in what she just said. 

I look back everyday thinking how lucky I am to be away from that kind of energy. 

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The only reason they think it’s ok to keep exes and male “friends” around. 

It is inevitable for couples to have arguments. And each week that we did, I would be met with an array of assaults like these. Assaults that meant so little after awhile.

Which also meant that on days we weren’t fighting, they kept a string of guys on standby, ready to take flight when an episode hits.

How dare I stand up to my oppressor? Courage. 

Cutting them off was the right thing to do.