prof-crushing

[prof-crushing]

5/4/2025

The other week C asked me if I wanted to get lunch with him at a sandwich place our group usually goes to close to work. I rode with him in his car and once we got our food he asked if we should stay there or eat in the lunch room and I told him that I typically like to eat there and he agreed and with my reasoning.

We just chatted about random stuff, checked in with each other and work. The usual. Always nice to spend one on one time with him 😊

~Later…

A few days later, C got hurt at work. Something fell on his head while him and some other of our coworkers were moving stuff around. I had my back turned, working on something else and only heard the commotion. At first he thought it was just a bump but he took his hat off and we could see blood starting to surface. So a coworker rushed him off to a clinic near by and he got seen quick thankfully.

He came back some time later, wound closed and with paper work he needed in order to make the report that our work place is on top of making sure we do. He didn’t really get anything for pain unfortunately, but at least he said he wasn’t really in pain (he didn’t get a sore neck until the next day). We all took a break when he came by. The others wanted to see it, a little later he came over to me when I was on my own in our department and we talked a bit more about how he was doing and said he hasn’t actually seen it for himself and I offered to take a picture and show him. He got a good look by doing that and was appreciative, and said that it hurt more when they were messing with it and closing the wound.

I saw he was having issues keeping all his stuff together while he was waiting to give our managers a copy of his hospital paperwork so while he was on the phone I got out an extra bag I had on me and stood next to him putting his stuff in the bag and he said he really appreciated it. They finally got things sorted out and got taken home.

I was thinking about texting him to check up on him the next day but was worried that he’d be resting a lot and I didn’t want to disturb him. So I texted him the following day and we chatted for a bit and he thanked me for checking up on him. The next time we were working together he said I was the only one to check up on him and thanked me. I was kind of surprised he hadn’t heard from anyone else, but I was happy I decided to reach out to him.

[prof-crushing]

3/20/25

C has been a lot more interactive online lately. Usually I’ll send/show him some videos from TikTok or Instagram and he’d just heart it and watch my stories on insta.

BUT lately he started to send me a few videos and use different reactions to what I send him ☺️

Earlier I posted a doodle to my story I did and added a caption saying “just a lil guy” and C replied to it with “just a baby” and it had me fuckin dead 😭

A few days ago at work C was saying it was a little too quiet and asked me to play some music. It kind of caught me off guard. I usually don’t play my music out loud unless I’m alone in my department or at least alone for the most part, otherwise I have a headphone in. I said sure but was struggling with picking stuff to play and was feeling self conscious about my music taste 🥲 even though we’ve talked about the music we’re into and they’re pretty similar I still felt kind of worried about it. He eventually asked to play some music of a band that I told him about that I’ve been into for a few years now. I put on my playlist I made of my favorite songs by them. I told him which songs I was especially fond of and how much I want to see them live. He seemed really into their sound and asked me questions😊

———————

Last week he invited me to hang out with one of our other coworkers to do this sport they’ve been really into lately. At work I expressed some interest and threw around the idea of me joining sometime.

I got there early, just before our coworker got there and he and his wife and their baby started to give me pointers and recommendations. C showed up a little later with his wife but she didn’t want to play so she just dropped him off after she chatted with the rest of us for a bit and my shitty awkward self was just like 🙂🙂‍↕️🧍‍♀️. The three of them traded off on teaching me how to play. Especially C. Bless them, they were so encouraging with how much I was sucking and genuinely happy when I did legit good 🥲😅

Our coworker and his family had to leave early because the baby started fussing and C said that it happens quite often when they try to make time to play. We were both saying how frustrating it is when people can’t spend time away from their partners and I was saying that having a baby really hinders things, especially when you don’t have others you can rely on to help out. He agreed and wonders why they don’t have each other’s families to look after the baby even other times if they ever feel overwhelmed. But even before they had a baby, his wife his wife would get frustrated easily with how she was performing and stop playing early. He asked if I wanted to stop as well and I said no, I still wanted to keep going and of anything it felt really nice to just hang out.

C continued to give me pointers as him and I continued to play. He was cute whenever he’d talk about the equipment he wants to get next and trying to look for a coach so he could learn more and get better.

We finished the round and waited a bit for his wife to pick him up and we went our separate ways for the day.

[prof-crushing]

3/3/2025

Got to carpool with C to a work event!

For lunch we had an hour and him and walked the city looking for somewhere to eat and settled on a place a few blocks away and I paid for his lunch as a thanks for letting me carpool with him. And we chatted about what’s been going on at work and some of the stuff we did in the past.

There was a moment where one of my supervisors called me over to give me some tasks for the next while, he said my name wrong (like a lot of people do) and C was walking in my direction too. When we heard him we gave each other a look and I was just kind of like 🙃🤷‍♀️

We were kind of surprised that were wasn’t the usual rush hour traffic (I was kind of disappointed lol).

God it’s always so nice to spend time with him, especially one on one ☺️

[prof-crushing]

Oct. 2024

So I don’t know how to feel about a recent development…

A coworker of mine (we’ll call him Y) recently told me over text that he has a crush on me and that my smile gives him butterflies in his stomach.

As a background, we went to the same college, same degree, and were in some classes together. I never thought much of him and figured he’s never thought much of me, just aquatenses. He started working at my current place of work like a year or 2 after I started. We chat every now and then, him more so with a couple of my other coworkers. Sometimes he’d get really passionate about his beliefs or causes he believes in and it kind of puts me off at times and I try to distance myself when he starts to get like that.

After he said that, I essentially told him that I’m not in a good place to date and I appreciate that he told me. And that I just have trouble with romantic relationships overall ((lately I’ve been finding that I get agitated when guys express romantic/sexual interest in me, even if I have it in my mind that I want to put myself out there and meet guys. So that’s its own issue that I haven’t really cared about getting into with any of my therapists lol)).

But yeah since that exchange I was having a hard time making eye contact with him and talking to him beyond the immediate work that’s going on. He said he feels better that he said it but now I’m just feeling weird about it all and don’t know what to do. We’ve been continuing to text about communication preferences and stuff like that.

Thankfully I have some days before I’m back in since it’s so slow.

[prof-crushing]

6/16/24

C was pretty sweet today. I mean he usually always is but today he particularly was because of how frustrated I was getting to an offsite job.

I was early when I got there but had no idea where I needed to park. And C wasn’t much help and that just added on to everything. Once everything got figured out and I was really frustrated by the end of it.

It felt like C was trying to cheer me up with his usual antics. I really wasn’t feeling it, at times I would try to get on his level but I was really struggling. He’d still try with me pretty frequently.

Some time passed and I was working on something on my own and C came up behind me and playfully patted the back of my shoulders lightly (I was surprised it didn’t startle me like it usually does whenever someone touches my back). He asked if I was feeling better I said that I was for the most part.

I’m so god damn tired of getting forgotten about. It drives me fucking crazy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

—9/20/24

It’s been pretty slow, haven’t been in very often. C’s position changed, bringing some pros and cons and they hired a new head of the department which confused all of us. C has been on a lot of offsite jobs lately because of his change of position. I left a little something near his work area (not quite his desk) that I thought he’d like. The other guys got a kick out of it and moved it around their office space and I thought it was pretty funny. Some time later I came into the office to drop something off and saw that it was moved onto his desk and I thought that was cute.

—-

C was out for a while, either on a work trip or on vacation with his wife. So I only saw him here and there. At one point when we were just chatting while working on something he said that I’d be proud of him losing weight. I perked up kind of surprised, I told him yeah of course! And I asked him a bit about it (I thought he was looking a little slimmer). But he was saying he mostly lost it when he was on vacation in addition to him starting to work out lately.

But in any case, I really like him how he has been since I first met him. But as long as he’s happy and taking care of himself is the main thing over all of course.

[prof-crushing]

5/25/24 to 6/1/24

C wore his new glasses today and he looks so damn cute and handsome ☺️☺️

He said that they were giving him trouble before, like the prescription was too strong for what he needed. So he must’ve gotten them adjusted since then.

We’ve been going to lunch at the same time. Usually I’ll let the rest of the crew know I’m heading out to lunch and C would chime in behind me. Or I’d be in the lunch room and he’ll show up a few minutes after.

One of these last times we were at lunch at the same time he was offered someone else’s lunch since they went out instead. So he offered the lunch he brought to me also. I thought about it lol but I wound up eating the lunch I brought.

The other day we finished the lunches we had and he offered some of the pineapple he brought and we talked about our favorite fruit and how tricky it is to pick some in season 😆. Before we started sharing, I was initially not going to, shrugging and saying that I already got rid of my plasticware. He got up and got me a new one of the drawer and we chuckled and I thanked him.

—————

C left really early to go on another job site so I was a bit sad about it. I later went to lunch with my Switch thinking I would be on my own since it was pretty late. I started to play a bit and heard C on the phone coming towards the lunch room and he came in and sat down with his lunch.

He got off the phone a short while after. We chatted for a bit and he asked me what game I was playing.

I knew he wasn’t much of a gamer. He usually says that he hasn’t played video games in like 20 years or something. So I just tried to explain it more simply. To my surprise he said the name of the game and said that he plays it too. I was showing some recent updates they made to the game since the last time he played it. I wanted to talk to him more about it but another coworker of ours (one that already gets on my nerves at times) came in and started talking to him and my lunch time ended and I had to go back to work.

[prof-crushing]

2/29/2024

Found out C and A are going to be out on work trips for the next like 3 weeks. And like shit. Why bother coming in?! If my work husband AND other fave isn’t going to be there then why should I?? lol but yeah it bums me out especially if C isn’t there.

(Also C cheers-ed me again yesterday randomly. It really caught me off guard and I had to drop what I was doing to tap his drink can with my coffee mug and take a drink. Like damn okay 😆 he chuckled watching me fumble to meet him. Afterwards I asked what the occasion was and he just shrugged and smiled and said “just cuz” I chuckled and replied “okay”)

It was kind of slow but I had enough on the to-do list that I started putting together. I was organizing the shelf and the last supervisor that’s there during this time approached me to show me a bruise that was starting to already form on his arm. I was kind of surprised. I asked him how it happened and he said that it was from one of the cases we use. And I winced knowing those can hurt like hell.

I don’t talked about him much, but he is a cutie patootie. Not sure how old he is but he seems to be somewhere between my age and C’s I believe. I don’t interact with him much but he’s a cool guy.

[prof-crushing]

2/22/24

It was pretty today at work. C was getting a headache from everything and sore muscles in his shoulders and going up his neck.

I asked if he took anything for it and he said that he just did. Next we were just kind of waiting a few moments before we had to do the next thing and he sighed and said he just wanted to sleep for a couple hours and he leant over a counter and I nodded and said it would be good to do if he could.

I reached my hand over and rubbed his back a bit and he let out a relieved sigh and stood back up and said that it felt nice and he liked it. I replied that sometimes you need a bit of a back rub to help a bit. He agreed and said it helped ☺️

I found myself wanting to protect him from what might make his headache worse or prolong it. Like the loud music that a couple coworkers were playing and try to find easier ways of doing strenuous lifting and such. (The loud music from multiple coworkers in close proximity tends to bug me anyways. There’s alternatives we can do, that I do regularly that are okay to do in our workplace). I feel like the last time I was like this was with R when he was also having his frequent headaches.

Finally got to eat lunch with him. Another coworker was there. They were mostly chatting with each other, I kind of didn’t really have much to add to their discussion and just kind of showed interest and listened. It felt like C would try to include me in the conversation between him and the other guy and I tried to add when I could.

[prof-crushing]

2/14/24

My estranged mother sent a “bouquet of cookies” to me yesterday and it put me in such a bad mood. I was really confused by the note on it since it was in another language neither of us speak. For a split second I thought I might’ve had a secret admirer but of course not.

She didn’t send anything for last years holidays later in the year that would’ve made a bit more sense but she sent something for Valentine’s Day??? My friends were super confused as well. I decided to take it to work today and let the guys have them.

They were happy and appreciative. I just told them that I brought cookies for everyone and was leaving them where everyone could get to them.

After a bit into the shift I just started drinking my energy drink and C walks up to me and snaps open his energy drink too and wanted to clink our cans together and cheers with me and said it in Irish. I was kind of surprised by it at first and thought it was neat that he learned it and wanted to be different from when other people say cheers or salut lol.

I started feeling kinda shitty during my lunch break and tried to close my eyes for a bit. When my break was over C was talking to me about what I was working on and was explaining some stuff to me. He noticed I looked a bit off and asked if I was okay. And I told him that I started getting a headache during lunch. He asked if I wanted any Tylenol and I told him that I just took an excedrin he said that was good and also asked if I might be dehydrated. I let out a chuckle and said probably yeah and said that he was going to be on me about drinking enough water. I jokingly said “okay dad” he laughed and said “hey, you make sure I drink water too!”

I was kind of confused because I thought he takes the initiative to drink water at one point or another in the day. If anything I just would praise him for it?? Lol

[prof-crushing]

me and my undying urge to be someone’s favorite

[prof-crushing]

Thanks for the tag @flowers-in-hair-you-in-mind !!❤️

I meant to post this sooner but just have been struggling.

This also reminded me off something I did similarly like a year or something ago and I’ll share that here as well since I really liked how it came out at well

Here’s the like for that: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/644129

Tagging anyone and everyone that’s wants to try it

GIRLS I found a new cute game! Create yourself and your Tc!!

This is me and R 🤧 <3

Tagging: @lovesickbeetle24694 @bauhausluvr @kryptonexorcius @mahogany-cherry-wine @somepeculiarprincess @m-jotss @blossomsworldsworld @lustfulromances + anyone :3

Gooo girls🙆

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/399481

[prof-crushing]

12/10-12/11/23

My first tc came to visit me in my dreams last night. The main dream setting was boring. Me waiting for a doctors appointment (??). I was waiting for a long time and suddenly he walks into the waiting room, checks in, I’m taken aback and too nervous to say anything. He glances over at me and lights up and I get up and we walk to each other and we hug each other. I could feel his chin rest on the top of my head. The hug felt like it lasted for a good while. Once we parted, he walked me over to a corner of the room and we leaned towards each other and talked quietly. I don’t remember what we talked about. I think we just caught up. It’s been since high school after all.

I had to go at one point. We said goodbye to each other. I walked out then froze and turned back and went back into the waiting area and knelt down and told him that he could get in contact with me whenever. And smiled softly and said of course. I walked away genuinely happy to talk to him again and looked forward to talking to him more.

Then I woke up seriously sad that it wasn’t really and not going to happen.

I still miss him sometimes. I’m not in love with him, nor was I really back then. It was a kind of crush and I still have a fondness for him.

[prof-crushing]

I've wished so many times for you to reach out to me. For you to write to me, expressing that you've missed me too. That you've often thought of me, recalling everything we've experienced and endured together. And even today, there's nothing I long for more. I still miss you.

— r.r.

[prof-crushing]

11/1/2023

C’s birthday was the other day. I texted him on the day wishing him a happy birthday. Nothing too special. Some time went by and he thanked me.

The next day at work we were all just kind of chatting while working on stuff and C mentioned how I was one of the few people that wished him a happy birthday. Some of his close family and friends didn’t text/call him. I told him that yeah I know how that feels, and told him how my friends of over a decade forgot about my birthday too until I said something.

A little later, everyone was going around and asking when everyone’s birthday was and he asked me and I told him. So we’ll see what happens 🤔

[prof-crushing]

[prof-crushing]

10/6/23

I got to work and C started saying what’s been going on and what we had to get done. With the week I’ve been having it was really hard to retain the information he was telling me. Without realizing, I was making a confused face and he chuckled a little and said “don’t look confused, you know what I’m talking about”. I shook my head letting out a small laugh and told him sorry and that my brain isn’t here yet. He said yeah it’s been a shit show still here. A little later we were joking around a bit and how he doesn’t want to die, he just doesn’t want to be at work. And I shrugged and said idk I do kinda want to die. And he asked if I need a hug. I chuckled and said yeah, been needing one for a long time haha.

He opened his arms to me with a soft smile and we hugged for a good bit. It was such a good hug too 😩. It really helped me out. I thanked him and he said “of course, anytime”.

10/24

I had been having a bit of a shitty past few days with bills and issues that my pet has been having. I had another stress inducing call during my lunch. C watched me come back and asked what was up and I gave him a brief overview of what’s been going on and he asked if I wanted a hug again and I said yeah that’d be nice. He closed the distance between us and put his arms around me and I did the same to him and he patted my back a bit again. We hugged for a few moments before letting go and I thanked again he said no problem with an small, easy smile. And we went on with working and continuing our usual antics. Him meowing particularly and me meowing back at him. It always reminds me of R. Although he’s been the only one to have that habit up til now so no wonder lol. Though R would typically meow to a tune of a song, not no much just randomly/periodically. But it has helped with filling that void from R haha.

[prof-crushing]

10/2/2023

It’s been a stressful time at work with changing a lot of stuff over for the past couple weeks. Thankfully we’re almost done. I was working with C on and off as well as another coworker of ours. At one point C and I were constructing something and it was getting supremely frustrating and our coworker wasn’t of much help while we tried different things. When we finally accomplished it I was exasperated and just said that I needed a hug semi-jokingly. C chuckled softly and responded with saying that he’s fine with providing that. I chuckled back and said perhaps when I’m not so sweaty. He was pretty sweaty too after the ordeal and I said maybe later when we cool down and he said the offer’s open (I wound up never getting one because I was still too nervous to ask after that, I might ask on Friday when I go in).

It was just about lunch time soon after and A asked someone if they wanted to go to lunch and they said that they brought their lunch. I was standing next to C and just kind of said that I want to go out to lunch and take a break from the space for a bit. He threw up a quizzical brow and said “but you always bring lunch” and I said I did but at this point I didn’t care and told him about how I went out to lunch a couple times with some of the guys anyways. He shrugged and nodded. A got closer and C piped up to him how I could join him. A leaned around the corner and asked if I wanted to get lunch with him and I replied saying that if he’s cool with it and he said yeah of course. We talked about possible places to go and one of my other supervisors brought up one place and A asked where I wanted to go and I told him that I liked the place I went to before but I never went to the place my other supervisor mentioned and A said let’s go there then (the place I haven’t tried yet).

It was just him and I in his truck and we chatted on the way there and back, as well as while waiting for our food and between eating. He asked me about my plans for the future and about some family stuff since I’ve opened up to him about it before in the past and he asked me about school and I told him I graduated this year and I’m glad to be done. He congratulated me and agreed on me not walking and my reasoning. I told him that R had told me to continue school and I told A that I don’t think I could with the amount of burnout I was getting and how much I was struggling and I’m pretty content with where I’m at now. He talked about his wife and kids and thoughts of moving out of state like him and his wife have been wanting to for some time now. As well as his family struggles as well, so he understands about how frustrated and exhausted I’ve been from everything I’ve been dealing with since I was a kid.

When we got back to the shop, we got out of his truck and he took a smoke break and I thanked him again for letting me tag along and he said of course and anytime.

{There was a moment when we were placing our orders where I wondered if he’d offer to pay for my meal like R did when it was just him and I going somewhere. But alas haha. I also wondered if I should offer to pay for a meal of his, I might at some point down the line.}

I went into the lunch room to wash out my coffee mug and C was sitting at the table eating his lunch. We both said hey to each other and he asked about how lunch was with A (with a twinge of jealousy perhaps 🤔 lol). I told him it was good and the place we went to had good food and it was nice to get out for a bit.

The rest of the shift went good and C and I joked around some more like we have been.