projectdie

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fat waste of flesh

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niggas was right bisexual girls is evil and we need to stop. dont trust the white ones the most those septums are the mark of the beast i tell you. majority of straight girls with septums are super nice. otherwise, you have come to contact with unfathomable ominous anonymity.

matter of fact don’t even run just beat the bitch up and call her a ho. get a burner phone and don’t disappoint me, i want that ig live archived and posted stat thank you very much beautiful have a good night my loves and other if God hath willed it because the beyond corrupted demonic support and enjoy a brunch filled with conversations of infestation, death, the moral failings associated with the pride deadly sin, parasite bloated insects, desecration, heresy, blasphemy, deforestation, future victims, hatred, and apathy with ambivalence.

Hell is other people. neva loved ya, baby critters! <<33

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flashback so bad it turned into an aileen wuornos murder fantasy which i enjoyed in the moment but im glad it got cut off as soon as it did cause i don’t fw violence

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can’t finish d’angelo wallace 41 minute video essay because he’s talking about how jeff bezos and his wife got together by cheating on their spouses at the time.

i don’t do exposure therapy anymore cause that’s the devil’s department, so this is just another video i have to avoid forever apparently. i think i traumatized myself more by going back to places for closure. literally the last time i went to universal city walk i wasn’t even all that conscious just to survive WALKING — u know, the thing u do when u go to a place to WALK — and was focused on a guy who was lowkey trade (clap for me sweetheartsss). he said yes to being my man for the night and somehow he got the “oh my goddd stop” high school latina off guard photo pose from me here. that’s one of the confusing parts for me, because if that’s the case, who am i truly and do i need to let someone know something

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“the tragedy starts from the very first part losing your mind for the sake of your heart”

i love feist i love feist so bad ive been listening to them since i was 16

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life’s not gonna be as good anymore after last night. i don’t know. i don’t think there was a devil, i think im just desperate to forget everything and i think it’s going to turn to despair. i can’t sugarcoat it. i can’t do anything besides what i can physically do for myself and take my medicine and go to therapy. i dont know if this is living. the same 3 songs have been on repeat in my head since i woke up this morning. i thought i just really liked the songs but i realized that that when the bad things try to get louder, the music gets more intense

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mashallah i said no out loud before september 2nd 2024 tried to kill me

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“There is a distinct difference between a ‘combative mindset’ and a ‘defensive mindset’ and it’s rarely discussed. In a ‘defensive situation’ your goal is to escape without harm, using deadly force only when all other options have been exhausted. In a ‘combative situation’ you are attacking; locating, closing with and destroying the threat.”

now we know even more who i’m not being around if i don’t wanna start having panic attacks 45 times a month. fuck either fuck either FUCK EITHER FUCK EITHER i CANT do that again and i BEG i always stick with myself and dont overlook histories. im not special

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blair st. claire virginity rape story = official trigger

the unreasonable, combative, jealous, unfriendly, self-absorbed, boastful, “the vixen,” who also believes that being boisterously expressive is unprofessional and too loud, such and such, winning the lip sync for your life against the sweet monique heart = HORRIFIC trigger

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their song!!!!!!

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IT FINALLY FITS AND IT’S LOOSE OH MY GODDDD IM HEALEDDDDDD IVE HAD THIS BITCH IN MY CLOSET SINCE FEB ‘24 BUT I WAS 5 BILLION POUNDS BUT NEEEOWWW I WENT FROM 153 TO MAYBE 112 IDK I CHECK EVERY FEW WEEKS CAUSE IT’S NOT DROPPING AS QUICK IN THE LAST MONTH WHICH IS REALLY GOOD AND EATING PROTEIN HELPS.

HALF OF THE WEIGHT LOSS WAS DONE THROUGH LIKE 20 HR FASTS CAUSE I DIDNT HAVE AN APPETITE BUT MY PSYCH CHANGED MY MEDS SCHEDULE A FEW DAYS AGO AND IM FEELING A BIT MORE HUNGRIER SINCE I STARTED LAST NIGHT. IT’S SUPPOSED TO GRADUALLY BRING BACK MY APPETITE ANDDDD LOSING BODY FAT AT THE SAME TIME

I AM 783 DAYS AWAY FROM HAPPINESS BUT THATS CLOSER THAN 400+ DAYS SO FAR (400 years ago we suffered… see how the devil gets you..).

IM TRYING TO REMEMBER TO EAT IN THE MORNING INSTEAD OF FORGETTING AND LETTING MY ENERGY DEPLETE TO THROWING UP EITHER THE NEXT MORNING OR THE SAME NIGHT WHICH MAKES IT WORSE. IDK IM TRYING AND I THINK IT’S GETTING BETTER (idk why that happens there’s nothing in there).

THREW UP IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS MB 1-2x BUT THATS AN IMPROVEMENT FROM 1-3x A WEEK SO TURN UP!!!!!

IT’S JUST MORE NAUSEA AND LIGHTHEADEDNESS NOW WHICH IS UNFORTUNATELY MY REMINDER TO EAT BUT MY DAD SAID TO SET ALARMS.

IM EATING SLOWLY THOUGH. WHEN I GET SICK I FOUND THAT EATING SOMETHING IMMEDIATELY ALSO MAKES ME THROW UP SO I HAVE TO EAT REALLY SLOW WITH SPACES IN BETWEEN SO MY STOMACH CAN SETTLE.

BUT IT’S GOOD IM DOING GOOD I THINK!

in other news, i think the hypersexuality is gone? it feels like a regular want more than a requirement i used to cry about. it was really bad and i was talking to all the wrong significantly older men including debating hiring escorts someday. i rejected everyone and im sticking with one man who doesn’t freak me out lmfao. i miss another but our personalities just wouldn’t match up and it was saddening me. i could’ve had a 6’2 gentle giant farm boy, but i wish they had been more social. it was hard to speak and get to know them, and i wanted to deviate from sexual gratification instead of forcing myself to be with anyone just for the specific “filled” feeling. they wanted to make me as comfortable as possible through boundaries and whatnot, and it was nice to be actually cared for. i miss energetic connection. they were so sweet though i was really looking forward to it.

another person was one i really enjoyed because instead of me being the nonconsensual interviewer, i got bombarded with lots of questions about me, what i thought, my background, how i felt about certain things, ect., but i noticed it was more about “collecting information from a crush” than “you’re pretty and beautiful, i think this could be good.”

i’m okay though. i think someone will be able to consistently love and like me as a person, see my worth, and stay someday. i think i do a lot. i was considered difficult by family and others because everything took more patience with me. from the latency between me hearing and comprehending sentences to being too confident in misunderstandings when it came to action, i hope im not disappointing anymore. i’m trying i really am

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Body dysmorphia is CRAZY i thought my face was still too fat and that was affecting my self esteem SOOO BADDD.

like so ur telling me when i wake up to go an appointment i look like im about to cry woe is me for my dead wife in a shakespearean drama “oh i CRY”

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i used to feel worthless and useless constantly for like the last two years cause i felt like i could do absolutely nothing right because it was coming from people important to me. one that i try to not overthink, get embarrassed, or even feel the same feeling as i did at the moment was when i misinterpreted “side of the grass” as ON the grass and ON the side OF it. very literal. too literal enough to run my car into a deep ditch which was a very confusing experience to say the least cause i started with “yall ready” and i was not apparently ??????

anyway everyone looked very disappointed and tired, and i wanted to rip my skin off, but my brain works now so at least that’s something. still, an atrocious moment in history along with apologizing for not being able to give a piggyback and walk 5 minutes to my car. wanted to die so bad BUT I ALSO FIXED THAT.

IDGAF IF A BIH WEIGH 150 BABY IM HERE AND MATTER FACT IMA HAMMOCK NOW #ILOVEWOMEN

i ain’t take my meds cause all i need is uuuuuu

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this tables beautiful

i turned out to be more of a clean freak than my mom but i don’t think it’s for the same reasons. she does not appreciate it whatsoever and it’s an absolutely chore. to me, i feel a soul nurture. like with every stain cleared from a swipe, i feel better and more present while interacting with the things around me. to especially make objects more beautiful brings me great joy

having a

GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

time.

the devil will not infiltrate this full blast air purified home. the roomba works overtime too baby

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name calling is also immature and low intelligence thank you huda for shoving it in my face i’m never being friends with these people again lmao

you’re a dick! you’re a bitch! x50 girl shut the fuck up LMAOOOOO say something of substance. even everyone immediately tells her to stop on the first insult 😭 like ur the most conversationally unproductive piece of traumatized projecting shit wtf is the point. my new friends are right that shits so FUCKING ugly

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to love me is to suffer me and i 86.7% believe it

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get friends who confirm ur other friends don’t hurt people and it’s just a trick from the devil to make u never trust even the most beautiful 😭❤️