prollymid

[prollymid]

Soft launchin my academic spiral (but make it ✨aesthetic✨)

ok soooo. deadass? college is just trauma bonding w strangers over who cried in the libz first.

like hi 👋🏽 my name’s ria but if u call me that we are not mutuals. it’s ri. just ri. short for “ri u ok?” (spoiler: i am not). i’m 20, chronically online, and currently girlbossing my way thru a b.a. in psych bc i love red flags and diagnosing my exes. 🧠

this post is mostly just 4 the girlies, the theydies, the dudes w sad playlists and red LED lights. if ur not that? idk scroll back to reddit i guess.

1. syllabus week is a scam and vibes only

they tell u “it’s chill! just intros and icebreakers!” but next thing u know it’s thursday and ur 3 days behind on readings u didn’t even buy.

also like why do profs say “this class won’t be hard if u keep up w the material” like ok bestie. if i could keep up w anything in my life i wouldn’t be rawdogging serotonin.

2. romanticize ur breakdowns but make them ✨branded✨

having a panic attack? no worries! just soft launch it on insta:

🧋 iced matcha in frame 💻 laptop open to fake “notes” 💔 caption: “some days are just harder than others… but we keep going 💕” 🎵 song: “motion sickness” by phoebe bridgers

and boom. 12 dms. 4 comments saying “text me rn” and 1 boy named devin who ghosted u last fall who suddenly wants to “check in.” healing!

3. group projects aka psychological warfare

why is it always the girl who wears headphones in class that ends up doing everything? (it’s me. i am her. she is me.)

also: why do i always get paired with “finance bros in the making” who say things like “can u make it look pretty? ur like, good at that”? bro if i had a nickel for every time i carried a ppt while spiraling i could pay off my loans.

4. self care is whatever u want it to be, no gatekeeping

sometimes self care is journaling. sometimes it’s rage cleaning at 2am to the sound of mitski and ur inner monologue screaming “HE DIDN’T EVEN DESERVE ME.”

sometimes it’s skipping class to cry in ur car and buy frog earrings on etsy. idk. life’s a vibe.

5. therapy? amazing. being ur own therapist? tragic but iconic

if u can’t afford therapy (hi inflation my old friend 😭), here’s what i recommend:

gaslight urself into believing u do have executive function

shadowban toxic thoughts

treat ur intrusive thoughts like pop-up ads: ✨block and report✨

reparent urself via taylor swift lyrics

works 30% of the time. the rest is vibes + caffeine.

6. hot girl walks > actual coping mechanisms

like yeah my grades are mid and my sleep schedule is feral, but i put on 2000s r&b, fill up my stanley, and walk w purpose like i’m the main character in a sad indie movie. healing!

also: if ur not spiral walking in sambas and trauma dumping via voice notes to ur bestie, wyd?

7. u r not ur gpa. u r not ur bank account. u r a silly lil human w a dream and a pink water bottle

sometimes i forget that i’m not a productivity machine w anxiety issues. i’m a person. a person who cries at dog tiktoks and thinks buying a new pen will fix her life. (sometimes it does.)

u r valid even if u turned in that essay 5 mins late. u r not behind. ur just on ur own lil path and maybe ur gps is glitching but that’s ok. re-routing is sexy.

8. red flags, green flags, and beige flags

red flag: says “mental health is fake” green flag: asks for ur star chart before ur fav color beige flag: sends u memes mid-argument

tbh if he uses lowercase text exclusively and plays chess unironically? run. ur not quirky enough to fix him. save urself.

9. academia is a capitalist scam but also pls i need this degree

like yeah, education is a social construct and tuition is theft, but i still sobbed over a b+ last semester. duality.

the goal is to finish this degree, make $$$, and move into an apartment where i can cry in peace next to a fake fiddle leaf fig plant and a bar cart w no alcohol—just matcha powders and emotional baggage.

10. in conclusion, we are all just sims who haven’t been fed and keep peeing on the floor

but it’s fine! college isn’t about thriving. it’s about surviving, crying a little, and maybe falling in love w a situationship who will one day ghost u via close friends story.

be cringe. be unwell. but mostly: be u.

anyway if u read this whole thing, ily. drop ur fav sad girl bop in the comments. and remember: ur mental illness is not a personality trait but it does make u funnier. 🫶🏽tags: #collegecore #sadgirlenergy #zillenial #frogearrings #mentallyillbutsexy #girlwiththeptsd #studyspo #traumadumping #softlaunchingsanity #indianamericangirliesunite