psi-ness

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y’all remind yourselves your account is your space. you’re not a performance. you’re not annoying by being yourself. if people aren’t into it they can leave. you’re not obligated to please anyone, especially at the cost of your personal expression. the worst thing you can do for your online enjoyment is to filter or censor yourself.

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the adrenaline rush is real

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el fili macaraig

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Take my soul

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I'm so fascinated by languages with different levels of formality built in because it immediately introduces such complex social dynamics. The social distance between people is palpable when it's built right into the language, in a way it's not really palpable in English.

So for example. I speak Spanish, and i was taught to address everyone formally unless specifically invited otherwise. People explained to me that "usted" was formal, for use with strangers, bosses, and other people you respect or are distant from, while "tú" is used most often between family and good friends.

That's pretty straightforward, but it gets interesting when you see people using "tú" as a form of address for flirting with strangers, or for picking a fight or intimidating someone. In other languages I've sometimes heard people switch to formal address with partners, friends or family to show when they are upset. That's just so interesting! You're indicating social and emotional space and hierarchy just in the words you choose to address the other person as "you"!!

Not to mention the "what form of address should I use for you...?" conversation which, idk how other people feel about it, but to me it always felt awkward as heck, like a DTR but with someone you're only just becoming comfortable with. "You can use tú with me" always felt... Weirdly intimate? Like, i am comfortable around you, i consider you a friend. Like what a vulnerable thing to say to a person. (That's probably also just a function of how i was strictly told to use formal address when i was learning. Maybe others don't feel so weird about it?)

And if you aren't going to have a conversation about it and you're just going to switch, how do you know when? If you switch too soon it might feel overly familiar and pushy but if you don't switch soon enough you might seem cold??? It's so interesting.

Anyway. As an English-speaking American (even if i can speak a bit of Spanish), i feel like i just don't have a sense for social distance and hierarchy, really, simply because there isn't really language for it in my mother tongue. The fact that others can be keenly aware of that all the time just because they have words to describe it blows my mind!

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"just write a little every day" ok but what if i write nothing for 3 weeks and then suddenly type like i’m being hunted by god

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random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

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kill the imposter syndrome in your head because not only is there someone out there doing it worse than you, they’re also using chat gpt to do it

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every so often the discourse comes around again that basically boils down to “is it feminist for a woman to want men to be attracted to her” and it’s like. no, it’s not. it’s also not anti feminist. it’s not relevant. it’s nothing. a woman wanting to have sex with men has nothing to do with feminism. being a lesbian or celibate is not “more feminist” than being a straight woman. the point was always “women should not have to dress in a way that is attractive to men solely in order to be acknowledged by them at all” not “women should never dress in a way that is attractive to men for any reason.” sometimes a woman wants men to want to have sex with her. that’s not anti feminist. that’s average. it’s also not feminist just because it’s her choice to do it. it is not related. feminism is about women’s human rights. that doesn’t mean it’s a feminist act every time a woman makes a choice.

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i love constantly evolving into a cooler version of myself

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literally so annoying to be going Through It in a deeply unserious way where like no one needs to be worried about me i’m gonna survive and things are gonna get better like they always do but right now at this very moment it feels like my soul has unmoored and started dissolving in my stomach and its killing me slowly and painfully but also i’m Fine

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whoops lost myself for about eight years there

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"these researchers published a paper on something that literally any of us could have told you 🙄" ok well my supervisors wont let me write something in my thesis unless I can back it up with a citation so maybe it's a good thing that they're amplifying your voice to the scientific community in a way that prevents people from writing off your experiences as annecdotal evidence

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while you studied the blade i studied the forge so i could make you the very best blade in the world! love you baby