psychocynic-blog

[psychocynic-blog]

This is my life just now.

so basically my parents are going through a divorce rn and they basically want to get more money than each other and theyll get more money if they can prove that theyre the better parent, so im basically stuck in between these mind games my parents are playing to try and make me want to like them but i fuckin hate both of them and ive got my gcse's coming up and i feel like im going to fail and i keep on having panic attacks so bad that i cant come into school because i literally cant get myself out of bed and i just lay there hyperventilating for like half an hour and then when my mum comes home we have an argument like usual and she tries to bring my dad into something totoaly unrelated to the argument and it somehow gets flipped on its head and i look like the bad one because she accuses me of siding with my dad but i dont like either of them and today my dad came to the house because we were getting it valued and he basically said that the house was a pigsty even though there was like 1 thing out of place and i said to him 'well you lived like this when you lived here but all you fucking did was watch tv and be a cunt to everyone' and he got really angry and i was like 'what are you gonna do, hit me,go on hit me. because he looked like he was gonna hit me and he said 'you know im not gonna hit you' and i was like 'well its just like the rest of ur life you do fuck all. and then i told him to go and he looked really pissed and said to my mum 'oh its just a teenager thing and my mum told him to fuck off which is surprising seeing as she doesnt really swear and he went, but now my mum thinks that im on her side and i dont want to be i dont want to have anything to do with it. 

thanks for reading, i just needed to tell someone