psymmetry

[psymmetry]

i'm seeing a lot of new ppl join tumblr who aren't making any spontaneous semi pathetic, oversharing personal textposts whatsoever and i just want to say you're doing it all wrong... this is not like instagram like meant to be some shiny highlight reel used to make u look good its supposed to be an incriminatingly revealing dark intimate look into your life & inner psyche while simultaneously no one knows who u are or gives a fuck... anyway hope this helps some of u get on the right track

[psymmetry]

no relationship categories sometimes you just point at two or more characters and go "they should have a Thing." what kind of Thing? I don't know! only rules are that it has to be deeply confusing for everyone around them, and probably also deeply confusing for the characters involved but in a different way. if you wrote a fic about it you should stare at the AO3 page for ten minutes getting increasingly frustrated that there's not a relationship designation symbol that's just a question mark instead of a slash or an ampersand. that kind of Thing.

[psymmetry]

writer 20 questions!

so aoba tagged panda and yellow (@guesst), who tagged me, but i saw panda's post first for some reason. hi everyone. thanks for remembering i exist, i had to dust off my writer card. i will be responding to everyone's points…

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

36

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

125,372

3. What fandoms d(id) you write for?

mairimashita

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

dying doesn’t suit you either (433), trying not to move (same fic) (360), pandemonium (280), it’s not the end of the world (239), soft cream otoshichatta(191). what, no kidnapping fic on here?  no vampirio? vampirio is still my second most iconic work; people mention it to this day 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i think i do. enough that the number of comments is different from the number of comment threads.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably the one where kiri makes azu kill people and then it ends with him dissociating sitting on the bathroom floor knowing that his life is ruined. what a great fic. does anyone else want to read this fic? the statute of limitations has passed i don’t even mind

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uuuu….. FIGURE IT OUT I DON’T KNOW

8. Do you get hate on fics?

never in my life lol i am a perfect angel

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

surprised to see other people saying they don’t. hey, if you get to write without being a disgusting pervert freak, why not me? if you can be motivated beyond a base impulse. if you can want something closer to pure, just for the satisfaction of pieces clicking into place, words coming easy for once– i want satisfaction in a bad way.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

IN… theory. A. i love crackficcing and B. i feel like it’s hard to find an interesting crossover, which is a challenge, but hm, not really a thing i do. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, but someone once used my manga coloring for a fancam. i can’t be mad, i stole that shit in the first place lolol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nooooo (psy is not that famous) (never got a podfic either)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes! i have been listed as a co-author for beta-ing and i have also written fics that were completely co-concepted and beta’d by the other person. never written by like, trading off chapters or had both people write extensive passages though. 

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I’M POLYAMAROUS I DON’T HAVE AN OTP 

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

vampirio #2… i drafted it out and everything… from WIP to RIP… 

i don’t need to finish things for them to count towards my artistic development or whatever. you know, perhaps fans of my work would disagree. perhaps such people would prefer that i post things for them to read

16. What are your writing strengths?

this is too embarrassing. words pretty :> flow flow :> 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i can’t structure and follow through on anything longer than 10k. i don’t block out time to write.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

tu quieres escuchar mi espanol terrible? en un fic? por que’ yo quisiera hacer este NFDNs?? escribir fic por the smash hit sensation EL CUARTO MISTERIOSO. yo debo mirar mas shows en espanol…. este keyboard no tene un numpad. fun fact. no alt codes para mi

19. First fandom you wrote for?

uuuuuuuuuu nope that’s LIMITED INFORMATION

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

playing the victim. the aforementioned serial killer fic. 

i am tagging @cometkov and @dragonofthedepths! and everyone. everyone at all. if you see this you have to answer all 20 questions. 500 words each. assignment is due 11/30 11:59. by the way, here is a blank to make it a little easier.

[psymmetry]

oh you think you're soooo fucking smart. with your fucking convoluted pretentious sentences

[psymmetry]

ordering her, words forgotten (they will be confabulated later) as her head tilts obediently to the side and all her thoughts drain out. is that the greater part of what it takes? do her thoughts rush clear and cold and obvious; she has the impression of something important but far away. like a test ignored until the night before; summer homework, untethered images drifting up slowly from the mire.

no way to know whether it's desperation or efficiency that has the monster so quickly sinking teeth into her neck. hand over her mouth like she could scream, anyway. she is too much the object to scream. her body shudders and forgets again what pain is supposed to feel like.

there should be something straightforward. something easy to understand even for girls stupid enough to walk dark alleys unattended: this is her punishment for existing.

her heart beats hard and dispassionate, seems like, no thought to define the feeling. smooth brick wall against the back of her head; grafitti; back arched; a keening sound that can't be her. warmth spilling into the barely-hollow of her collarbone

the life it stole curling up inside; a wild rose snapped off and life cut short for prettiness, ornamentality, sentimentality.

[psymmetry]

relax and enjoy your stay.

psy used to be FAMOUS in the mairimashita! fandom before sinking back into nothingness. i'm scared if i write i'll open myself too much. like being a slut but for Having Emotions. i wish i was a slut and i already have these damn emotions.

i'm also scared that children will read my porn. please don't comment if you do that.

when i think about how i started writing, i don't know how to feel about it. when i think about my feelings in general, i tie it to my hormones and have you slept and have you eaten and have you done anything creative recently? and then i start to feel outside myself. i feel outside myself now, looking at myself deciding whether to keep that line or cut it, even though it's part of my body on the page.

i feel i've hit a wall again. i have all these little scratches on my hands; i get to feel stupid and cry too often. i guess i enjoy it. when do i get to stop making mistakes? that's all i spend my time doing.