punchouthottakes

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i don't get why glass joe even get shipped with every boxer bro can NOT handle allat fr(I'm jealous of that baguette muncher)

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Ok, to be honest I don't think Aran deserves to have a place on Sexypedia.

First of all, another boxer deserves that title more than him.(Don flamenco, Great tiger, Piston Hondo, Macho man or even Soda Popinski deserves to be on sexypedia more.Why did I mention Soda? Well, his ASS is literally thicker than Macho man's silicon booty implants. Especially his dummy thick thighs are also one Soda's best assests. Soda's death growls are much more seductive than Macho man's whiny growls after he got trashed by his fans while he flexed on his pectorals.Case close on that one.)

Secondly, the other boxers have far more redeeming qualities to them, Don is very charming even though he's likely not going to commit to you, Piston Hondo is very honorable in terms of his courtesy and politeness towards his competitors despite having anger management issues and tiger very much is charismatic with a sophisticated silky voice that is incredibly irresistible.

Aran on the other hand, hardly meets the criteria of a character that deserves to be on Sexypedia. He's a repeated offender, in violating sports rules, he's mischievous (His intro cutscene in Contender mode where he basically tickles a man with a feather while, he was weight lifting.) and dare I say it...the one forbidden sentence, "ARAN IS AN UGLY RAT BASTARD." Yes, I said it, Aran isn't that attractive both in his personality and his physical characteristics.

For a while, Aran is a fan favorite in the punch out fandom, the only redeeming quality I can think of is his energetic attitude, and his cocky smile(Which is one of his redeeming physical features;despite, him looking more psychotic the more you play title defense against him.His grin becomes more sinister and nefarious.)The man displays a lot of aggression towards, the ref, Mac and even the fans.He trash talks them down challenging them to fight him after one of the members of the crowd throws a boot at him during the break sessions.

Lastly, Aran would be horrible boyfriend material for anyone. He literally shows how violent he is on stage in the arena, but in his intro cutscenes in both Title defense and contender modes show Aran being a bit more of a calculative manipulator in terms of his foul play in sports. If you were in a relatioship with Aran...KEEP YOUR GUARD UP. The man will make sure you don't notice he's plotting to tournament you, or even pull a nasty prank on you. He could steal your wallet and credit card credentials and go on a shopping spree.Then you get a report on from the bank only to realized your in 350 million dollars in debt, and you just found out that your identity is also stolen.

What's theoretically worse is that Aran is likely the type to have trouble distinguishing what's wrong with his actions and how it is hurting the people around him. He doesn't even show an ounce of remorse when he pushes the ref in the TD cutscene. To put it briefly , if you were in the ref's place, the audience or even mac's. Then, being in a relationship with Aran wouldn't be any different. Instead of being his special gem, you're his favorite punching bag. He will verbally break you down, diminishing your confidence, so he can show you he's in charge in the relationship.

Therefore Aran Ryan doesn't deserve to be on Sexpedia. That's my hot take.

Also, I'm a fan of Aran it's just that I don't believe he should be on Sexypedia because he legit has so many red flags.

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Some of y'all really are running out of shit to say about punch out

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i like to think the green fella from the arcade version is little mac’s dad

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I’ve never been mad at myself for thinking a character was hot until Aran Ryan jumpscared me in my selfship space

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I feel like Bald Bull anger is reasonable, I would also want to kill people if strangers insisted on taking pictures of me in my bathroom D:>

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I hate it when people say that Heike Kagero is a "femboy," and although I see people say that stuff on Reddit occasionally, it still pmo.

Like, yes he's feminine alright, but he doesn't even look like the type to wear skirts, crop tops, thigh highs, etc.

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Thanks for not doing your account gimmick and dogging on a s*icidal minor, asswipe.

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Dear everyone that likes Punch Out: YOU ARE NOT RACIST.

No matter how much over privileged youtubers who suck at the games, wanna say you are. Punch Out really isn't even that racist (at least not the wii version). It's literally just goofy stereotypes (which aren't always bad anyway??? Tropes are a writing tool and are meant to be expanded on anyway. It literally gives the fandom more power over the canon). Also, half the time, it's the white people who are getting made fun of. Like boohoo bitch, Aran Ryan's got red hair, womp womp.

Like this attitude is literally why this franchise has been dead for so long bruh

sorry anon but this is genuinely so fucking funny I can tell ur not a POC or you’re just someone whos really young. Won’t go too far about this topic but all I’ll say is, YES punch out has racist characters and is a racist game, but that doesn’t automatically make fans racist. HOWEVER, just because you simply acknowledge that the game is built on racist stereotypes, doesn’t automatically mean you’re NOT racist. It’s about how you go about these stereotypes, not just because “well everyone is a stereotype so it’s automatically okay!”

To answer anon, yes Punch Out does make fun of white people, but that doesn’t really automatically make it better to make fun of minorities. (Also even Irish and Italians weren’t considered “white” at some point in history, they were also treated as minorities. So the Aran Ryan point flops sorry anon)

The thing about goofy stereotypes not “always being bad”, anon you’re missing the point. While not all stereotypes are bad, that still doesn’t make stereotypes good either. (Example: Piston Honda is depicted as an honorable fighter yes, however he is still a parody on WWll Japanese soldiers and kamikaze fighters. In MTPO, he literally wears Japanese propaganda and speaks in broken English.)

Also to combat the whole “the game makes fun of white people”, it should be noted that Punch Out has pretty racist depictions of Asians and Black people. (I’m just gonna list some of them out like a speed run):

Dragon Chan has a pretty racist design, having very prominent buck teeth which is a common stereotype for Chinese people. He’s also conventionally the only boxer to use martial arts in his fighting style.

Great Tiger is pretty orientalist and is about as accurate to Indian culture as Aladdin is, mixing up Indian and Arab/Middle Eastern culture when they are separate cultures. (And before you mention his Wii depiction, yes that version is also pretty inaccurate. They literally gave him a flying magic carpet which is more of a Middle Eastern thing than Indian.)

Old art of MTPO depicted Mike Tyson as a racist caricature (yes he’s a bad person, but the point stands that an actual person was depicted in black face because of the time the game came out) Some also argue that Kid Quick’s design is also racist.

To conclude, I don’t think you’re a bad person for liking any of these characters. (Some of the characters I listed as being pretty racist stereotypes ARE actually my faves lol) But I think it’s important that people do acknowledge that Punch Out IS racist, and acting ignorant to it honestly makes you look worse than if you were actually racist. Like I said, if you acknowledge this and take the time to accurate depict these characters and their respective cultures, then you’re fine. At the end of the day, this is a silly boxing game with hot buff guys, who gaf.

posting this for future reference but please don’t send shit like this 🫶

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Don is the type to try to charm the referees to earn favoritism or overall keep his record stable anytime he loses by decision, and i mean he did hit on with referee mario and it probably worked so he probably still does that with the wii referee as well

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I don't think Glass Joe continuing to fight in the ring is admirable of him it's stupid and he's going to get himself killed for real

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I actually really prefer Mr. Dream over Mike Tyson. Beating the hell out of a fictional version of a real-life guy just feels weird. At least with Mr. Dream, he doesn't exist so you can do whatever you want to with him. he can't have an opinion or be uncomfortable because he is just a bundle of pixels. Mike Tyson is a Real Life Dude.

Plus he's cuter send tweet

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anyone who claims bear hugger is a heterosexual man is wrong because gay bars always have 5 or more men at a time that look exactly like him

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don and carmen are like drew and amanda gooden in my mind

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this isnt even a hot take this is just me needing to confesa something. whenever i feel sad i take a picture of me with my arm out and then i edit glass joe over the picture like those otaku dudes do with their waifus

glass joe is my waifu

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i see people drawing Mac to be almost as tall as Doc and every time I'm like

LITTLE MAC IS LITTLE!! IN NO UNIVERSE IS HE GOING TO BE AS TALL AS DOC

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Man idk if it’s cause I don’t think about them (or spo in general) that often, but I still don’t know which one’s Rick and which one’s Nick, even after being into punch out for like 5-6 months