puppastry

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"you can use ai to improve spelling and grammar"

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There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function

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dude omg i did NOT “come back wrong” you just remember me as imperfect and now i’m a divinely elevated version of myself with no capacity for wrongdoing. i’m still me dude i’m literally the same basically *all electronics within three feet of me explode* sorry i mean i meant to do that

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If Toby Fox had never made that one fateful videogame we would all be living life sans undertale

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i was there at ground zero when filthy frank started the harlem shake

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saw a car dragging a labubu facedown through the street

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mutual pining simply never misses. the yearning. the stupidity. the desperation while also thinking themselves alone with it. the rattling relief at the revelation. the way it works in so many scenarios— friends to lovers? a banger every time. casual hook-ups/friends with benefits while they both want more? show-stopping, spectacular, incredible. enemies who are so deep in denial it just makes them madder at each other? utterly unmatched every single time. slow burn, fast burn, burning while already fucking. mutual pining really just is that girl like truly who does it like her

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which 3 US presidents do you think would be the best omegas and which 3 bisexual pop stars would be their best matched alphas

1) John Adams

John Adams was a tireless advocate for the revolution (i.e. topping from the bottom) and he once described himself as "obnoxious, suspected, and unpopular" - "he was known for his bluntness, impatience, and tendency to be easily frustrated with those who disagreed with him." As a brat in Congress, his personality was repulsive, but everyone listened to him and they all still wanted him. They wanted him so bad they made him president. Kind of makes you think.

His match:

Adams needs someone with a strong personality to challenge his - someone who's not afraid to repel the mainstream in order to realize their vision. Gaga has it, and he needs it. "Bad Romance" in many way encompasses Adams' struggles through the 1776 Continental Congress. They could teach each other much.

2) Theodore Roosevelt

A man dedicated to the preservation of natural parks and ecological wonders - and for what? To run through the trees under the full moon as his pheromones wafted through the air? We know.

His match:

Grimes once described herself as becoming "way less gay" after she became pregnant, which is 1) weird, and 2) the reason I'm sticking her with Teddy. I don't think that he could fix her completely, but she seems the type to maintain no moral compass of her own, simply adopting the political ideology of whomever she's with, so maybe there's hope. Maybe Grimes could introduce Teddy to shrooms, and Teddy could take her out on trips in the forest. And then we can find out if Grimes getting a man pregnant makes her more or less gay.

3) Richard Nixon

Best known for his one legendary debate with the handsome JFK, wherein he became a stuttering, sweating mess, unable to focus or say what he meant. Interesting!

His match:

Bisexual icon Taylor Swift is also struggling to appease both sides of the political aisle. They could share their woes and their love of good ol' fashioned Americana, and then Taylor could tie him to the wall and make him bark like a dog. The pregnancy would be difficult on both of them with Taylor's extremely busy schedule, and Nixon would regrettably terminate it in the second trimester, causing a rift in the relationship that would never be mended. The resulting laments that Taylor composed about Nixon's abortion would of course be dissected and attributed to a secret relationship with a woman - Nixon's wife.

I welcome critical analysis.

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do it scared this, do it scared that. y’all are forgetting who pioneered doing it scared

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I think I just realized that part of my anxiety with being in public is that I feel like I don't have the same right to use public spaces as other people do. Like they're the real People Who Use This Coffee Bar. And when I try to use it as someone who is not Inherently Worthy Of Using The Coffee Bar I'm just getting in their way

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I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend

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okay people are still online but im gonna say this anyway. the queer community has gotten way too comfortable being awful to straight people and it needs to change and im not kidding

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spotlight

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"ugh, my five-year-old could make that!"

"so why don't you?"

"because in my view this part of the art world is not about talent or the work itself, but about who you know and a large amount of random chance, and i'm not an insider so anything I make will be viewed as worthless."

"oh."

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Sapphics who don't like fat girls are so weird to me. You're supposed to like girl. Why wouldn't you want more girl per girl

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Continuation of this

they practised without her 💔