purdypyrite - Tumblr blog

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xuexiao

light in the darkness

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Poor unfortunate soul

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I Want my Wei Ying Back, with apologies to Jon Klassen.

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when the sun goes out

It's fanfiction writer appreciation day! This year I made a copy of when the sun goes out for @travelingneuritis. It's a modern-with-magic MDZS AU where Wei Wuxian uses technology to work with resentful energy. You should all go out and read it immediately. I really love how it hits all the important character beats, but doesn't rehash the plot. Plus, there's day-to-day cultivator work that we don't get very much of in canon, and wwx's affinity for the dead, in both the "help them move on" sense and the "go fuck them up for me" sense. (Both of these are heartbreaking, of course)

And the art! I've been wanting to bind this for ages, but I had to wait until I got a color printer to do this justice.

Lots of rambling under the cut!

It is somewhere around 550 pages long, which is apparently the exact max that my guillotine will take, so that was lucky. I tried an oxford hollow for the first time, and I love it! The text block feels so secure in the case.

The red on yellow design for the cover is supposed to look like the donghua talisman design - I'd hoped to make something that looked more like a talisman with circuit board imagery, but graphic design is not in fact my passion, so I just went with clipart.

I even learned how to turn a image into a font for the scene dividers! This is the circuit diagram symbol for a battery, because batteries are an important plot point and I'm a nerd.

And there are juniors! I love them so much.

Anyway, thank you @travelingneuritis ! I appreciate your contributions to fandom and had a lot of fun making this!

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"This story is a tragedy because it didn't have to end this way."

vs

"This story is a tragedy because it was always going to end this way."

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The Untamed🐰Song Ji Yang’s weibo update

Goodbye Xiao Xingchen

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Elizabeth Swann and Jack Sparrow.

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Remembering my first introduction to Xue Yang and thinking about how methodical he seemed to me vs fanon version that is basically evil Wei Wuxian on speed.

No really you're so right he's normally calm and methodical. Just sometimes the universe tells him he fucked up and he's like "would you say that if I did this? *makes an utterly insane choice*"

ohhh this is something I have Thoughts on for sure. don't get me wrong! I think xue yang does have manic periods and will get into a mode where he's not sleeping for three days because he has a project to work on and sleep is boring, a-yao, leave me alone. but I think the degree to which xue yang is - prior to xiao xingchen's death - actually as unhinged as he's sometimes painted is...it's not pretending but it is playing up an aspect of his personality to make people uncomfortable or nervous or scared, both because it's how he makes damn sure he's not going to be forgotten or ignored (have talked about that elsewhere) and because it's what people expect from him, so why not.

(it also means people underestimate him and while I think xue yang has a kind of complicated relationship with that it is useful sometimes.)

I do think a solid 30% of xue yang's behavior is looking at what people expect from him, going "oh you are like a little baby. watch this" and doing worse. i.e. if people are going to assume he's basically a wild animal then he's going to be the meanest wild animal they've ever seen. I think the fact that he settles relatively easily into playing a role where that's very much not the case, where nobody is looking at him like that (or at least nobody who is in a position to look down on him, qingqing is too short), is somewhat indicative.

he has more control over himself and his behavior than most people realize; I think the perception (both in universe and in fandom) is that he's sort of a creature of id, driven purely by impulse and almost instinctual reaction, and I don't think that's actually accurate to what we see of him most of the time. he's certainly very clever, and good enough at what he does to attract the attention of powerful people. jin guangshan finds him valuable enough to alienate and anger another sect leader about it. give Xue Yang a puzzle and if he's interested he'll sit down and pick at it until he figures it out, unless it's too easy, then it's just boring.

it's also notable to me that when xue yang is angry at someone, he doesn't actually act immediately. he's very willing to wait and plan to figure out how to really twist the knife in someone. the choice to go after song lan's temple, and song lan himself, rather than directly targeting xiao xingchen, might be a practical one, but it's also a very deliberate and targeted attack that's aimed right at xiao xingchen's stated purpose: "you say you're here to protect people? look, you can't even protect your friend and his temple, and now they've suffered because of you." that's not, like, an immediate and explosive reaction, it's a very purposeful act that has thought and planning behind it.

now, does xue yang make impulsive snap decisions, frequently involving violence? sure. but the most notable of those is, I would argue, at the two absolute nadir moments of xue yang's life. the first one being when xiao xingchen finds out who he is and vehemently rejects him - xue yang's reaction there feels like much more of an instinctive lashing out, and it's happening because for the first time in his life since he was very young, someone who actually has the ability to hurt his feelings has hurt his feelings and it feels real bad! doesn't like that! so he reacts to make it stop, and then keeps going and pushing until xiao xingchen breaks, and then after that it's pretty clear to me that he sort of shocks back to reality and spends the next eight years going "no, wait, I take it back." or, well, trying.

and then also when he dies. when wei wuxian goads him about what he did to chang ping and the implications thereof regarding xue yang's own feelings of (unnacknowledged, unrecognized) guilt, xue yang absolutely loses it, gets reckless and careless and ultimately it's that, with a-qing's help, which gets him killed.

oh, wait, one other place I think xue yang loses control of himself and acts without really thinking it through, and that's killing a-qing. I have less textual evidence for this (though I don't think it's completely absent), but it's definitely my headcanon.

outside of those moments, though - aka the ones that get really bad - I don't think xue yang is as off the chain as he sort of...gives off the air of being. I don't know that I'd call him calm, but I would say that he has the ability, most of the time, to exercise at least a modicum of self control.

at least, before xiao xingchen's death. frankly, after that I think he does very much lose his mind a little, but, you know. I think that's understandable, under the circumstances.

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Local Sect Leader Gaslights Children!

(x)

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everyone is fucking but no one is horny

one of my twitter friends recently said that if she could order up a fic it would be a story written by someone who has only ever read the classics, 1.5 star trek novelizations, and their mother's romance novels from 1970, written about two people are so out of their minds horny for each other it causes them to make the absolute worst choices anyone's ever made.

and i almost lost my mind laughing because i do know exactly what she means. there is a weird vibe i can sometimes sense within the first few paragraphs a fic that really bums me out. it's almost like i can tell the author is thinking way too much about what i'm thinking about their id and it's suddenly like we're all suddenly wondering how riding a bicycle works when we're mid-ride. when you start worrying too much audience interpretation or how a fic is going to do or play or ugh marketability, it genuinely adds some weird self-conscious distance to whatever you're doing. and it's the pits from the reader side because it removes so much horniness from your story even if the idea you have is genuinely good! i know this is not a niche complaint--you find it literally everywhere as every sector of the creative internet gets #content-ed and people can't escape the stats of how any given creative outlet does.

but god there's literally nothing better than sitting down and reading some freaknasty person's art where they do not give a single shit if you like it. they had something to say and my god they were gonna say it. i've accidentally acquired so many kinks by clicking on a story where someone took me on the most insane ride of my life and i thrilled about it. i don't wanna read about polite normal regular love. i don't wanna read about people using therapy-speak on each other. i wanna read about two people feeling the biggest craziest feelings of their entire life and they cannot do anything about it except bang it out. what else are we doing here? if they're not fucking down an entire house, well jed i don't even wanna read it.

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Awhile back I read the manhua Yi City arc because I was told it was the one adaptation that really did A-Qing justice(as dear to my heart CQL is it really Did Not). And it really was great! That was my GIRL so brave and smart and perfect!! Easily my favorite after the novel. But my one quibble, that persists through Yi City portrayals both in official media but also fandom, is that Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan and to a slightly lesser extent Xue Yang are depicted as too old and A-Qing too young. Yi City tends to be treated as three adults and a child and like...when Xue Yang, Xingchen, and A-Qing settled down in their domestic coffin lifestyle XXC was 18, XY 17 or 18, and A-Qing 14 or 15. We don't have an official age for Song Lan but I think it's safe to assume that he's pretty close to XXC in age. A-Qing adopted herself an older brother but he's not that much older and in several ways she has more life experience, whereas Xingchen is kind of highstrung and kind of barely holding things together at the time. The fact that the Yi City crew are all in highschool is very important to their tragedy! Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan are two idealistic kids whose pursuit of their beliefs placed them on pedestals that were inevitably going to crumble. In universe they're viewed as fallen idols who talked big but couldn't live up to the hype, but in reality? They were highschool seniors whose hopes and dreams for the future were completely shattered less than a year after they made them.

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for anon (with the offering): “time does not bring relief; you all have lied” | edna st. vincent millay (full poem under the cut because it’s…just read it)

Czytaj dalej

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xie lian as tumblr text text posts

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Excellent news! The writer has SO MANY GOOD BOOKMARKS.

Sometimes I think I've read every good Wangxian fic available ever and I'm doomed to waiting around for writers to write more but then I stumble across a new one that is amazing and weep with joy.

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Sometimes I think I've read every good Wangxian fic available ever and I'm doomed to waiting around for writers to write more but then I stumble across a new one that is amazing and weep with joy.

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Jin Ling & his Xiao Shushu appreciation, 'cause I don't see enough of it.

Remember that Jin Ling avoided LWJ like plague 'cause he was scared of him shitless, to the point that when WWX fake called Hanguang-Jun he ran without even looking back literally seconds after WWX pulled the same trick on him with JC 'cause he didn't want to risk looking back just in case it was actually HGJ, but he stood against Hanguang-Jun AND sect leader Lan when he thought they were invading his Xiao Shushu's room? Only Jiggy's own intervention made him back down.

& IDK maybe the reason Jin Ling was there at that time was that it was the family section. But since Fairy wasn't with him, maybe he was visiting his uncle. & I find it hard to imagine, like, say, WWX visiting Jiang Fengmian or Lan Sizhui visiting Zewu-Jun or the Lan brothers visiting Lan Qiren in the middle of the night in their private chambers unless something very important has happened. I think according to the standards of their time, they must have been very close for this visit to happen.

Running to Xiao Shushu 'cause JiuJiu is angry with him & adorably hiding behind him 'cause Xiao Shushu spoils him.

Defending Xiao Shushu and having a firm belief that whatever he says is for Jin Ling's own good even in the face of his cool uncle after the rush of winning a fight against a group of his all-time bullies.

Still using the affectionate term "Xiao Shushu"even when confronting him about why would he kill his father, begging him to "say something". Give him anything to make it a little bit less painful.

Jiggy wanting to comfort Jin Ling even when he's crying because he just realized that Jiggy has killed his father.

Jin Ling looking so hurt when Jiggy says that JGS didn't let him hold Jin Ling as though he can't imagine a world in which his uncle is not allowed to hold him. Not being allowed to hold JL being a notable part of JGY's villain origin story.

Jiggy pushing Jin Ling out of danger.

Jin Ling screaming for Jiggy to run even after Jiggy took him hostage. And all the other shit.

(It's worth mentioning that in the books, Jiggy doesn't push JL out of danger and JL still screams for him to run, and he still calls him uncle instead of Sect Leader as he does in the show. It's also worth mentioning that the show made some stunning choices in the Guaniyn temple scene regardimg JGY & JL. As half of the things I'm saying about that scene here only happened in the show.)

Jiggy looking so worried as Wen Ning goes towards JL even though he himself has lost an arm and is bleeding to death. And only looking relieved when Wen Ning holds the blade.

Jin Ling being scarred for life here. Oh my poor, poor baby.

With much difficulty, he coughed up some blood. Everyone present heard a crack that was abnormally clear and brutal.

A whimper of a last breath left Jin GuangYao's throat.

Jin Ling's shoulders shivered. He shut his eyes and covered his ears, too afraid to keep watching and listening.

And my favorite scene that emotionally crushed me: Jin Ling remembering when his uncle gave him little Fairy & mourning his uncle & becoming the hero of the nation who finally told Sect Leader Yao to kindly go fuck himself. 'Cause he told him that his uncle was not worth his tears. Jin Ling thinking that they wouldn't dare to tell him such bullshits if his uncle were still alive. Baby Jin Ling feeling so comfortable around the sect leader and the Chief Cultivator that he could break things beside his feet and scream at him, and his uncle just understanding that he needs to leave him alone at that moment, his Xiao Shushu being the only one who could comfort him and make him happy at that point, his Xiao Shushu giving him his spiritual dog & one of his rare actual, geniune smiles that was so warm & kind that Jin Ling remembers to that day, this happy memory being the one that Jin Ling remembers Jiggy with after all the things he learnt in the span of two days. Him acknowledging that Jiggy's love for him was geniune and real & still choosing to continiue to love his uncle despite everything. Him learning that he can't really resent JGY, WWX or WN 'cause though they gave him reasons for that, they also gave him reasons against that. They gave him reasons to love them. And why choose hate when you can...not choose that. Him breaking a cycle of hate that few of the adults of the story did not drawn in. And it must mostly be Jiang Yanli's legacy, but it also proves that Jiang Cheng & Jin Guangyao, despite their own numerous issues did something right raising such a child. He feels so secure in their love. And he's right in that feeling.