pureheroin

[pureheroin]

idk 12/24

today was my dogs birthday, and i tried to do my best to give him a great first birthday because my parents did such a horrible job doing so for almost any of my birthdays, but then i remembered he is just a dog and this is probably just like any other day for him. i have been feeling so incredibly horrible about my body, even more so though normal recently. i feel like i cannot take a single full breath in because i have been binge eating so excessively recently that my stomach gets in the way just when i am trying to inhale. continues to deep sigh. i ate two family size bag of potato chips and two chocolate bars within the past 36 hours. i literally dont know what the fuck is wrong with me. i need this to pass, but then i think about how i go through such intense phases of eating healthy or somewhat healthy before falling back into a binging phase where all of my ‘progress’ goes down the drain. sigh. i feel like i have tried to explain this to my boyfriend, who i love so dearly, but it just feels so wrong to try and explain stuff like this to my partner (even though i want him to know me, this just feels extremely private and a bit like i am also facing some kind of imposter syndrome, are any of my problems real (rhetorical question), am i actually facing these issues lmao). idk i wish my hobbies were something i could do something with but then once i try and do something i enjoy it feels like i am succumbing to the terrorizing capitalistic society we live in america today that wants me oh so badly to be a fucking part of (fuck u capitalism) and that is a whole other (and primary reason for me being so fucking overwhelmed constantly). anyways i refuse to take antidepressants because one of my biggest fears is gaining weight which is really fucking sad that i cant love my body enough (again, no response needed to this part, im not a fucking dumbass) and that i am have become such an easy pawn in this game of society the government and corporations have created for me. theres this horrifying path of hating my body that has been painted for me and it is the biggest reason i am constantly battling these same goddamn thoughts every fucking day of my life. anyways, happy bday roman, hopefully ill finish this dress i need to sew before i get bombarded with dumb shit i have to do and people i need to ‘see’. (i wish i could be left the fuck alone for like 3 months before anyone try and talk to me again). also one last thing, if u see me or a random person in public literally leave me the FUCK alone like holy fucking shit i dont want to talk to you just because i am at a dog park with my dog like dont fucking give me ur life fucking story at least if u are a fucking r*p*bl*c*n like i do not want to fucking hear it and u can get the fuck away from me. anyways again idk what this was but tbh it kinda felt ggod to type out xoxo love u sza ty for the new song bye

[pureheroin]

[pureheroin]

x

[pureheroin]

SZA for i-D Shot by: Petra Collins

[pureheroin]

Financial stability, beautiful houses and honesty are my kink atm

[pureheroin]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BT4grwbhpxi/

[pureheroin]

“if i ever fall in love,,,it’ll be the sweetest, sweetest thing for sure..”

[pureheroin]

[pureheroin]

[pureheroin]

i dont blame aliens and other supernatural creatures for wanting to destroy humanity because we’re all just toxic selfish greedy little inferior people

[pureheroin]

goodbye everything

[pureheroin]

Orion Sun - Antidote

[pureheroin]

reblog or the gods of glo up will not bless you

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[pureheroin]