pyrrhicallyspeaking

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

Commune/Commute

I think I met God yesterday He was at the terminal, waiting for a jeep to come and take Him to wherever He needed to be

Then I remembered a saying how we were all made in His image are faces unremarkable because His is? or is this there a lesson to be had here

I knew it was Him though if anyone had to be God then it would be the grey-eyed man who softly caught the sun in His eyes

He should be happier, I thought there was a weary way to Him how His shoulders sagged or how His mussy hair drooped

The unkempt shave, mismatched shoes did we make up the image of divinity? it took me a while to notice, but ther as I was stood behind Him, He stared back

God looked upon me and gave a lonesome and yearning gaze I met Him once, just this once yet I felt like that was all a lie

The hour we give is too short I realized then, when the barker finally shouted loud enough to ask the last passenger to board

The hour we give is too short so He stretched those last seconds before His words could be drowned by the roaring engine and its pipes

The hour we give is too short because I never heard what He said just a sinking feeling that there was more to be had between us, if He were not God

I think God gets lonely in His heaven above it all, He could see and hear us but He could never feel our warmth just the idea that we are

And when He comes down every once in a while He sees why our hearts could only beat for an hour

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

Begging at the Gates

I will meet Saint Peter before his lectern laden by his book of hallowed names and I will stand by like a dog in pouring rain waiting for the timbre of his voice to fall onto the syllables that bore the sum of this life given, taken, and returned so haphazardly it cannot resemble what once was His precious gift and I shall beg for forgiveness for being weak too fragile to hold the world in my hands and I shall beg for forgiveness, for being weak made this heart crave the gentle touch of a hand in His paradise, I remain in hunger and thirst may Saint Peter and all the holy angels and saints untie from me, the burdens of being named and let this dog howl and whimper no more for even God rests on the final day and who am I to be better than He?

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

I'm an anti-Snow White in the sense that I do attract creatures but they're household pests AND they all somehow meet their ends INSIDE my electric fan, like. Dr. Doofenshmirtz two nickels meme because a rat and a lizard has crawled into the meatgrinder at night and I have to clean up the mess with my groggy ass

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

guess who's back with another uquiz in tow heehee hoohoo

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

could you post the obscure journey uquiz results plz 🙏🏻 I'm so curious about all of them

Oh sure! There are eight results in total, and ig y'all can take these reassurances whenever u want 🫶

Read below the line for the results to this quiz👇

I. You have done what you can.

It’s alright to second-guess all the decisions you’ve made. Sometimes, that’s just how we cope when we face difficulties. But I want you to remember that your strength comes from working around the past. Yes, there are so many things you could’ve done differently; I won’t stop you from thinking about those endless possibilities, but please be kind to yourself. You don’t have to accept it so suddenly, but you will have to start somewhere. What’s done is done, for better or for worse. Now, you are here in a place that can take you further. It waits for you patiently, so there's no need to push yourself when you’re not ready. But, it asks for one thing: to leave your regrets behind. The past may weigh heavy on you, but most of that baggage is something you can start dropping along the way. Your shoulders could only bear so much, so wouldn’t it be better if they carried the good instead of the bad?

II. You are far more than what you fear.

Something is stopping you, and you are afraid it'll consume you if you take another step. I want you to look at yourself, then at every good thing you have now. Maybe it’s hard for you to even do that, and it’s okay. But, you have to open your eyes. The shadows loom far beyond the safe space you've made already, and you are stronger than you were before. They deny you the courage you've long since built, and we both know that's just unfair. Take heart, and start opening up. You can take it, and probably a bit more after that. But of course, it’s always okay to harbor some doubt. The rush you feel is only natural, but know that sometimes, it’s all in your head. Be strong, and in your moment of weakness, be trusting. You are strong, and so are the people you have confided in.

III. You have changed for the better.

We all have our reasons to change; maybe it’s to become the person we wish to be, or sometimes it’s just so we can leave the past behind. Whatever the reason is, we can’t help but look back and ask ourselves if it’s worth it, if the person we are now is better than what we left behind. Questioning yourself is fine, but do be careful. You walk the tightrope of reflection and self-loathing, and it’s much too easy to sink into the latter. Besides, you deserve to be proud of who you are now. You don't have to worry about the specifics—if you've changed significantly. What matters is that you took that step to become someone new. It's a long road, yes, but that's all the more reason to keep your head up. You'll become that dream you long for, so just enjoy the journey that'll take you there.

IV. What you seek shall be revealed.

You feel like the answers always slip away whenever you get close enough to realize things. You're just left with more questions, ones you don't have the time to add to the already-daunting pile you have. This isn't your fault; the situation is far more than anyone could handle given your circumstance, even if it seems like such a small thing. But this isn't the end for you, time just hasn't caught up with your desires. There are things far away from your vision, puzzle pieces that are taking their time to fit into the grand scheme. More than anything, you're being tested for your patience. Those lines you've drawn will soon converge, that much is true. Perhaps this lull is given to you so that you may reflect. Slow down, and look deeper. You deserve whatever answer you seek, but you also deserve to know why you're trying to find it in the first place.

V. Fires shall burn bright once more.

People always say passion is a flame that soon consumes itself, falling silent after a glorious blaze. You feel like you're waning, your own fire stoked beyond the brink, now sputtering and dying. Whose fault it is, you don't exactly know, nor do you particularly care at this point. All you know is that you don't feel the same joy you once had. I'm not going to lie to you, what you're going through is painful. But you have to believe in yourself. You're not a lost cause, and there's more to you than what you're led to believe. Yes, your heart may be quiet now, but it's merely preparing itself. This stillness is your time to be loving of yourself. Trust that time will be kinder to you from now and slowly build yourself up again. Sun and stars beyond will soon greet your own light, and you will feel the warmth bloom inside you again.

VI. Love yet hopes for you.

Humans exist to love, and you feel like you’re ready to invite that into your life. And yet, it’s like the world is conspiring against you, keeping the warm embrace of another soul away from you. Questions start to seep in: if you’re truly ready for this, if your standards are too high or too low, hell, you start to question if you’re even worthy of love despite telling yourself over and over again that you are. Take heart, for you’re more than deserving of love. It’s funny really, how we exist to love but most of the time we don’t know how to express it. But maybe that’s why: we care so much about it that we forget the simple acts. What I’m telling you is that you’re already loved, and I hope both you and them will realize that. And if you think you haven’t found the love you're looking for, then just know that you deserve to find it, that they deserve you too.

VII. Let the silence be your solace.

After the storms you’ve weathered, it feels odd that you’re just left here—standing still, staying silent. To you, it might even feel wrong to not be doing anything with the time you’re given. But that’s probably why you’re here in the first place: you need to understand that you’re not a whirlwind of change, at least not all the time. You’re human, and it’s perfectly fine to be tired. What you see now is not a lack of something, it’s just what happens when you finally have time for yourself. You’re not stuck, and nothing bad is going to rear its ugly head towards you. The world stopped for you, so take a deep breath. Be proud of all that you’ve done, it’s what you deserve. And if it’s not too much for you, I want you to be just you, nothing more and nothing less. Even the strongest hearts need their time to heal.

VIII. Soon, you shall see skies again.

Heavy clouds loom over you, since when did it become so dark? You remember the you who would smile at anything as they leave their baggage at the doorway—the better you. You’re thankful that life taught you what the world truly looks like, but you fear that you’ve become far too cynical. It’s hard to be hopeful nowadays, and maybe not everything has to be your fault. But you have to know that you still have power left in you. It may not be enough to change the world, but there’s enough to change yours. Feel your heartbeat and know that it sings for you, the you that can become what they were. The world may have taught you that life is war, but know that it is merely a lesson, not a decree. Remember that reality is not painted grey; no, it brims with every color imaginable. Let yourself hope again, for your hardened mind will only be stronger with a kinder heart.

END.

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

Just realized I never really shared this anywhere, so here have this uquiz I made back during the quar ant ine 🏃‍♂️

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

today i feel like duplicating my entire skeletal system and make my first bone broth from them

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

We Wake, Infinitely

↓text version below the cut ↓

Why must we be afraid of death the stars birthed themselves cosmic gore and bloodbath and in the aftermath, existence Wishing stars above are far gone particles consume one another and in their place, golden warmth the earth you tread is a graveyard A billion creatures called this home a trillion more will call it by another your genesis an embrace, a tiny death and your industry, built upon corpses Your memories are hewn from time who you are is what you've taken we people are storytellers, birds of prey, regurgitating, reliving If life itself is an ever-hungry beast so ravenous it consumes itself why have we not wiped ourselves out why, then, has death not claimed us We have gotten it wrong, then to think that there is an end or a beginning for that matter we are, we will be, we are once more

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

To Bury A Body ↓text version below the cut ↓

I'll kill you ten times over in my head / mourn and grieve over the corpse / I carved into a magnum opus I'll outlive you / a specter in the spot / of my addled mind / shallow burial near a running river I'll wait for nature to stake / its claim on your tender body / you will lose your name / history forgets for cruel biology / to free you from burdens A cadaver rots into free elements / you cannot be called you I'll eat a mushroom from the dirt / not knowing old bones lie / in tangled knots of mycelium / they tell secrets I can't hear They could've told me / that you found your way back / to me who ate you up Ten times I've killed you / ten times I've bitten you / once I've swallowed you / once I've expelled you / once more I'll get rid of you I'll lose count / I won't count / I want you out / Let me out

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

For the Harvest, For the Feast ↓text version below the cut ↓

Ethylene gas child, your skin craves the bruises the gentle touch of another is enough to undo you colors unravel like clothes shed with every taunt become what you need to be to be eaten, devoured You race against time, your flesh could only be sweet when hungry eyes are on you, bitterness is abated now those hands find purchase beneath your skin surrounded, never alone, your little death in a crow They hollow you out as you lay ripe and bitten gnashing teeth cannot pierce through that shell they cannot grow you back again after this meal a kinder truth (they can, they do not, you are naught) Raw, release, ripe, ecstasy, overripe, rot, remain on the beds of their tongues as a pleasant aftertaste the spot next to them is yours for only the night you were a late night snack too sinful to remember (Better, better, kind nature knows you deserve better you grew in the light of day, so bask in it once more if mouths must feed on you, then let them be kind you are not mere sustenance, you are the bounty)

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

Incongruous (Unsteady, I Built My World on The Loft)

I cannot love you. Empty margins in this manuscript; word suggestions turn out blanks for jumbled letters. An academe's tome tells of a definition, to be greatly interested, a deep-seated affection. Yet here I am, at a loss. Those are things I cannot bring forward for you. So, is it not love that I hold for you? A begrudging amount of care for how you are, perhaps. Obligation? For what? I do not care to hear more from you when you speak, but silence is loud; I'd trade the uneasy peace for an assurance, that I still cannot stand your reprimands. And when quicksilver laces my tongue and the venom seeps into your paper skin like bleeding ink, it is as if I stuck a barb through my spleen. I take it back, I take it back. You deserved the retaliation, not the sting. The warning was written in red, posted upon a sign. Common law would tell you that the burden is yours, yet here I am. The danger would not have been there if I did not lay it out. This... "love", it is a stone to be thrown. Persecution, blame, fear, guilt, unfound penance, I throw my stones at you. Lamb, sweet holy lamb, I was born with too many teeth, too many claws. I pulled each one out, gave them to the fairy for coin, and paid the doctor his dues. But, I still have my tongue. I have learned to keep it sharp, and I am sorry. Our arguments are whetstones, and I will only bleed you dry.

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

Faith (Father, Am I Too Hopeless?)

I never knew God in His holy churches, nor upon the tongues of scholars whose hands bear papercuts from yellowed parchment and fading ink. Sacraments and scriptures, prayers and penances, of saints and sinners, I knew them by names hammered upon my cross (the preachers tell of a lamb whose blood was drawn, libation, sins forgiven, yet the men of His church still torches me, us). The people shout His name, in reverence, in desperation, in hope, in all the ways I find myself at a loss. My faith—abstract collage scavenged from devout testaments—leads me to see Him as a father. A friend. A protector. A savior. A judge. A redeemer.  A dying star up above Bethlehem whose light reaches me when it is too late (the sand bears no prints, the wanderer has quenched his thirst in the mirage). I know of God. I believe in Him. I believe in Him the way a mother believes her child’s ramblings. The way the guards of Rome believed in the name of Jesus as he was crowned in thorns.  The way one says they believe, if only to quell their hunger for a deeper, heartheld gospel truth. 

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

[01] Fanfic Drabbles - Xiaother

And there he stood before his sun, basking in his radiance and warmth, shattered wings struggling to keep themselves together, to look strong. "Hey," small fingertips brush against his skin, "it's okay." "I... No, I have to." "Xiao, please." "I promised you."

He would say it was his duty, but even that would be too shallow of a word. In those golden eyes, he found himself devoted.  "It doesn't have to be you! I can, I can..." Deep crimson mars Aether's skin, his words strained as he kept himself upright. "No, no you can't." A bitter smile betrays the yaksha's stoic facade. Their skirmish with Khaenriah's new toys took far too much out of the two. Even now with their numbers thinned, it would have to take a miracle for them to make a clean break. Bone and sinew snap into place, feathers rustling as black blood is shaken away.  "Stop." "Make me." Shaky hands grip Xiao's arms like vices. Times like these reminded the yaksha why he even admired the traveler. Unwavering determination in the face of everything. It made the yaksha's life trickier and far too chaotic, yes, and yet... "You're weak and bleeding out, you should stop." "Make me." It was that same stubbornness that reminded him of what he chose to protect. "Aether..." And how cruel this will and duty of his can be. "I'm sorry." With what strength he could spare, he pushed away the boy. He would have to apologize for those wounds too, no matter how shallow.  Before he could regret it, Xiao flew. Against his better judgment, against his agonized body, against his oath to never again fly... He flew.  Far beyond the sun and into the night and her starving horrors, he flew with only a promise to light his way.  "We'll keep them safe." "I'll keep him safe."

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

Heart Upon Dandelion Seeds

Let me be a name in your diary; a passing anecdote, a hurried scrawl, whatever I was to you in the tiniest fraction of time I stole away. Remember me as you would a bird that hopped just enough to distract you, the cat that followed you until you got on your way, the baby on the bus that smiled at you when your eyes had their fill of unmoving cars, the passing cloud that reminded you of childhood days pointing to the skies, saying that you can see a lion or a bear. Let me have a place in the home that is you and your heart, the tiny corner where you stow away things for another day. And when it's time to clean the mess out, hold me in your hands again; I'll remember for the both of us. Maybe then, our smiles will be tender and soft.

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

Promise Me You'll Grow Old With Me

I look at the mirror to see a fragile smile holding itself together by a mile's worth of written promises

Celebrate the day I get my degree a trip to somewhere other than here dressed up for a friend's wedding

The first anniversary with my lover pamper my parents after retirement see my siblings on that graduation stage

Worry about my first grey hair on a receding hairline, mourn the loss of a friend who'll never get to call again

Hold the calloused hands of those who walk the other path first for me promising to watch me get there too

Look as leaves change with the world time passes me by in every breath I stand still then, now, and 'til then

Young, tired eyes blur back to focus on this reflection, it will have to stay breaking, breathing, becoming

Hold yourself up, my beloved I have so much to show you still let us see to our heart's dearest wish

Let us live a life for ourselves

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

What is Worship, If Not Love Pure?

Our religion of solemn little lies holy worship in shallow shadows how pretty is the world we carve between the cracks we let grow

Blissful heaven is for the dead with golden halos and white wings is it such a blasphemy to steal a piece for those who yet live?

If God is to be found in any place then I hope He hears of my sins through your ears I whisper a tiny confession of an erring heart

Absolve me, carry your gentle smile and cross me, a kiss over each eyelid another between the brows, finally I find forgiveness in your soft lips

We say our amens silently perhaps we both carried this prayer that He is not cruel enough to curse us with a love He would frown upon

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

"God is dead and on his throne sits a bitter man," I say as my boy doesn't come home in my silly little gacha game for the nth time