qotu33 - Tumblr blog

[qotu33]

(x)

It's been SO long since I did a traditional drawing/painting!

I admit that I still prefer to do go traditional versus digital, even when it takes me AGES to prep and start! Probably because I spent most of my years drawing on paper than on a tablet (I only started doing digital some 5 years ago...?). I just feel more connected when put something to paper, whether pencil, ink or pigment.

[qotu33]

pookie

[qotu33]

contrary to popular belief not everyone has an innate sense of internal gender or care to have one or seek a name for it, some people go their whole lives without questioning their occupation in one of two gender roles, but for some people, if pressed, they don’t feel that internal sense of ‘i am a woman’ or ‘i am a man’, and in that case i feel the switch over to transgender vs cisgender relies on active identification of a gender other than the one they were assigned. if someone’s like ‘idk dude I just work here’ then that’s valid

[qotu33]

this is what everyone decisively communicated to me they wanted

[qotu33]

Person of Interest 5.09 "Sotto Voce"

[qotu33]

the ageless dream of winter

[qotu33]

DAYLIGHT

One month working on it. Hope you like it!

[qotu33]

I stare at the screen for hours, trying to make the words come out, but they won't. I can't compel myself to take a break, because there's this voice screaming at me from the base of my brain...

"You've been told you're a great writer, and you want to be a published author. But all you have to show for it after forty-four years are a dozen crash-and-burn writing projects. When you have the time to write, you don't, for a host of reasons. If you don't have something written by the time you die--which comes closer with every passing day--you've wasted your gifts, you've wasted all the effort people put into educating you, and you've wasted your life. So sit down and WRITE, you worthless piece of shit!"

How do you get past the paralysis caused by the obligation to produce? Is there a way to trick your brain and your body into writing? Or do you just slog on through, no matter how long you have to sit there to get a thousand words a day out?

Perhaps you could try to be kinder to yourself.

I always give myself permission to write or to do nothing at all (staring out of the window or at a wall is okay). After a while spent staring at a wall it's often easier to write.

Remember if you write a page a day -- 300 words -- at the end of a year you'll have a 100,000 word novel.

[qotu33]

do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely

like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day

[qotu33]

Not sure about anyone else but I re-read all my favourite AO3 comments when I’ve had a rough day so if you’ve ever taken the time to write a deep, funny, or just kind comment, thank-you.

[qotu33]

Why aren’t we talking about Finch having a special cushion for his knees? (1x16) #middleagedmenfucktoo

[qotu33]

oh my GOD whenever john calls finch harold i go fucking insane. because here's two men who are both, by their own doing, legally dead. they're ghosts. they don't exist in the normal world. and their names aren't even really legally theirs, most of the time. plus they're both extremely private. but they have these little glimpses of personhood, these tiny details that make them more than just names on pieces of paper.

john doesn't call harold that when he's hurt. he does it when he's feeling tender, when he's treating him as a friend, as a person, as someone he cares for. in the same episode that finch gets drugged, he calls john his "very good friend," and john, someone who literally stalked harold and tries so hard to figure things out about him, respects his privacy. he is told to ask "whatever he wants" and he walks away. he leaves, but not without wishing harold goodnight, by saying his name.

and the same when finch tries to offer to use a gun to protect carter's kid, or make a distraction. john calls him harold then, because it's a kind offer, it's something that shows how dedicated he is, how much he cares for this work, and for john.

as someone who goes by multiple names to different people, being called a name that you've claimed, no matter if it's "fake" or not, by someone who cares about you, can matter so much. and john doesn't call finch harold when he's injured, or otherwise. he calls him harold when that's what he is; not his employer, or an eccentric billionaire, but a good person, who tries to do his best. that's when john looks at him and sees harold, not mr. finch.

[qotu33]

Team Machine + being a family

(for operation cosy 3.0)

[qotu33]

[qotu33]

i forgot how early you can start yaoi-ifying the Person of Interest main guys like by ep 3 theyre having a little breakfast diner date and “no question from you is innocent” and all the little smiles reese does when he gets under finch’s barriers and reese showing up At Finch’s Job and the phone call where Finch is breathing heavy after doing push ups and Reese is lile “😳”

[qotu33]

person of interest meme l five relationships [03/05] → harold finch and john reese

[qotu33]

My mom: “oh I can’t wait till you grow up and get married and have children”

Me: “Mother you do realize that the only grandkids you’re getting from me are cats.”

My mom: “Oh, you’ll change your mind! You just have to find the right person.”

Me: “Hmmmm… no. I’m going to live in a house filled with books and plants and a minimum of 21 cats.”