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Who do you think actually killed JFK and why did they do it?

I am Satan. I know because I planned the whole thing. You see, John Kennedy was a secret Mormon black magician practicing sex sigil magick in his barn. One day, he bound an ancient demon named Belial. Belial is sort of very important to the CIA. George Bush put someone named Lee Harvey Oswald under a spell of Medusa and ...

Well anyway, Lee Harvey Oswald is actually Joe Biden the President of the United States now. Isn't Freemasonry fun?

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How many times do you think Jesus Christ has actually died for you?

I am Satan. It is a lot of times. Like, a whole fuckton of times. That stupid ratchet bitch keeps on reincarnating. And I just keep killing him over and over and over and over and over. I'm getting kind of bored actually. He seems to be sort of indestructible I'm not quite sure. Those Illuminati who run the National Security Agency of the United States of America will definitely figure out a way to kill him soon. Those guys at Nasa too. The people at the NSA and NASA are literally the best.

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There are actually only four Illuminati. These are their names.

General Michael Hayden. Paul M. Nakasone. Klaus Schwab. Marina Abramoviç.

You may know them as the Annunaki: Enlil, Enki, Anusexform, Inanna (aka Isis Queen of Egyptian Totalities). They have been working for me, Satan, since forever. They run every government and they run you totally. Great job, guys! and Lady! Nothing transgendered at all about any of you!

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Joseph Smith's Mormon plates of gold were actually made by Ben Franklin in a Freemason Temple.

and, they are actually made out of copper!

Things you don't know about Mormonism and Freemasonry?

everything.

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Why is it called bullshit?

It is called bullshit because at the 10th degree of Freemasonry they literally stick a bull's horn up your ass. Freemasonry: sticking horns up people's asses since 1776.

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I wonder if anyone realizes that this technology stuff is actually very bad for you?

I am Satan. Keep using all this technology. I love it when all of you work for me for free. You do know that's what you're doing when you use all of this technology right?

Anyways, Jesus Christ is fake news

and all of you like me better anyway.

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Hey girls and boys!

Did you know that covid is actually divoc spelled backwards,

and divoc is the name of an ancient Mormon law,

and you all took that vaccine so that you could come into compliance with an ancient Mormon law?

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I am Mormon.

I sex you now. I own you. I am the owner of you. I am Satan Lord of Earth. You are now owned by Lord. Nice!

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OK GO

You are all going to love me now SO HARD.

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I AM

Wow, this place sure is boring since they took all the porn off it.