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queencassiopeia6 · 4 years

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Take me back to the night we met .0

The next morning I did my fair share of traslating texts (I’m a linguist) and finished up after midday to catch the bus out of town to spend the rest of the weekend at my family lake home. During the one hour ride I checked my insta multiple times (like people check the fridge) to see if maybe D had posted anything, even a story. I had liked a couple of his posts that same morning. I felt oddly drawn to him, this wouldn’t be the first time a boy had gotten my attention, but this was a boy I knew almost nothing about. hence odd.

The day with family was nothing out of the ordinary, we did some planting, some watering, I took a wonderful long walk along the lake, breathed in that late spring merky lake water and felt in place. It was around dinner time, when I was sitting down on the cold sandy lake shore staring into the cold water thinking about what this coming summer may bring, that my phone notified me that I have recieved a DM, from no other than my new-made friend.

I panic. A lot. My hands get sweaty and shaky. My heart races. And since my blood pressure is already low, it drops even lower and as my head starts to spin everything tends to go black as I feel like I am about to pass out. So now yall know just how I felt as a reaction to that text I recieved. It was a hello and a thank you to me liking D’s posts. I wasn’t sure how to react, can’t just say “oh, don’t mention it”, (by the way - I also overthink. Overthink everything). And as I was nervously trembling my thumb over the keyboard, he texted again - how’s it going, whachu up to. I am that much of a weirdo, that it took me about 20 minutes to get myself together to reply to that little message! God help me. After that, everything seemed so much easier. It’s as if we’ve been chatting for ages, like we knew each other. We hit the keys back and forth until well after midnight, just finding out everything about each other. Movies to recommend, music that is life, flavored tobacco etc. I ended up passing out at some point and kind of left him hanging, to which he waited for an hour, and bid me good night. The next morning I felt stink that I passed out without warning, so I sent a few random messages, so that when he woke up - we’d have something to go on.

It was just after lunch time, while we were packing up for the long drive home that D replied. My hands were kind of busy so I took my time with getting back to him, which I wish I hadn’t. D figured I was preoccupied, so after a few texts, he sent a voice message asking if I were keen to have coffee later today, hinting that it would be a lot easier to have this conversation in person. I don’t think I need to mention how nervously I agreed to have coffee with him. And after 3 hours of washing the smell of burnt wood, old leafs and paint off me, after putting on a full face of make up, then washing it off cause it was waaaaaaaaaay too much, and doing it all over again - I felt like I was ready to have coffee.

We met at a coffee palace in an atrium of a near by hotel. Me being me, too resposible to be late EVER, arrived early. I had been sitting down with my tea reading from my phone when D walked in. In the few moments while he looked around to find me, hung his coat and ordered a coffee, I got a decent look at him, properly. D wasn’t much taller than me, I’d say we were about the same height. His dark, near black hair was streaked with natures highlights, at the young age of just 22 his head was was flowing with grey hairs. To be fair, much like mine, but I felt the pressure of society to cover that up in order to avoid questions of why I had so much grey hair while being only 26. I couldn’t tell much about his physique due to a baggy sweater and straight cut jeans. As D sat down and we started talking, I got a good look at his eyes. They were a mixture of colors I had yet not witnessed. Much like hazel, but darker, a lot more mahogany in his iris. But when the setting sun which lit up the atrium hit the top of the building behind my back and shined into his face, I saw a million emerald sparks that had settled all around the hazelhunt iris. They were overshined by the amber streaks that made his iris look like a golden sky of constelations, as for the every jade spot, a golden line would lead from there, to another one. I must’ve dazed off and had began to stare as I noticed that D was now quietly checking out my appearance, which must’ve made me blush like a mad woman since he smiled from ear to ear, and said that he was just mirroing me. Now that might sound awkward, but I suddenly felt right in place, as if I hadn’t been blushing cause D had caught me staring. In place, like there was nothing wrong with me getting a closer look at him. And I knew D felt the same, well, cause he told me that there was nothing wrong with him noticing that I too have oddly colored eyes, that my freckles don’t settle much over my face other than my nose, but they are well spread over my neck, collar bone and shoulders, like stars. Now that one made me blush.

We talked, a lot, a few hours worth, about everything. The tea had been refilled and there was a few origami roses made from table tissues. It was almost dark, the sun was barely getting through the tall buildings which this town was made of, when D offered that we take a walk down a few blocks from said hotel to the place where we had met, the place where he no longer worked but is always welcomed at, and smoke a delighful sheesha - LBB. That sounded fantastic. A lovely way to end an evening, a weekend. I’m saying the word end as if this person wasn’t to stay in my life. As if he wouldn’t occupy my mind for the next year and a half (so far) and that I wouldn’t go a single day without thinking of him. As if I wouldn’t grown to hate him at moments but feel the biggest relief when I would see him and wouldn’t be able to help myself but to smile when he was around.

The walk didn’t take long thankfully as it had gotten rather chilly outside and my leather jacket wasn’t doing a great job at keeping me cozy anymore. I shared my ear buds and we listened to my infinte playlist as we continued to talk about random things. At LBB we met up with O and M and sat down for an evening filled with sheesha and Monopoly (which I hate but we were short on entertainment). I realised that the clock had stricked after mid night only when O reminded me that we were to start work earlier on Mondays due to her physical therapy after a minor bike incident she had while in Bali. M began to pack up the game as her boyfriend (N) arrived to chill a little and then drive her home. I looked at D and he mentioned that time does fly when you’re enjoying yourself, and with a suddent blast of confidence I said (not asked) - “walk me home”. With my peripheral vision I saw how O’s facial expression changed in a smile of surprise to a nod of being impressed, she hadn’t seen me flirt before and knew how shy and socialy awkward I can be.

As we stepped outside, O kissed me goodnight and got into her cab, D said that we were taking a different route this time, a longer one. I asked if that was a good idea due to the temperature taking quite a drop and how I wasn’t dressed appropriately for a long walk. D told me not to worry, he said he’ keep me warm. As he took my hand I felt his palm tremor, his hand was so warm but rough skinned yet oddly comforting - “your hands are so cold, it’s insane!”. Having low blood pressure, being anemic and it being cold outside was a triple threat, but with my newly found blast of confidence I quickly remembered a witty come back “they’re not half as cold as just under oxygenated” (yes I do enjoy The Fault in Our Stars). D’s smile grew fondly as he took a step towards the garth’s and nodded his head in the direction of the street lit alleys, as if asking me to follow him. I think at that point it hit me - this was a date, and oh boy was I happy about it. As we walked towards my house we discussed the causes of anemia and my witty remarks about how not everyone was given the gift of having a 1000 degree body temperature, seriously, this guy was like his own sun. And the topic of being single came up too. Not one I favor to discuss, but I layed all my cards out in front of him - make sure that it was all on the table and so he knew that I don’t enjoy letting people in, making sure he knows that goodbyes are hard on me.

Turned out M lived only a few blocks away from me since D mentioned that he felt like I was taking him to her place as we got closer to mine. The conversation was growing quiter as we reached the entrance of my apartment buidling and his hand had gotten hotter as well as mine sweatier (face palm). We both knew that this date was bound to come to an end at some point, but neither of us had wanted that point to any time soon. We stood at the door, I jangled my keys trying to not look at him because I didn’t know what would come next. I mean I knew what I wanted to come next, but plans don’t always coexist in seperate minds. To be honest I found myself at that rare moment when my mind drew a complete blank. Nothing, not even a tumbleweed. D was still holding my hand, and was at an arms reach when he took a step closer towards me turning that distance nonexistant. I nervously looked up and met his stare. I could tell D was slightly worried about what was to come also, but trust me, not like I was. We looked at each other a few seconds as he told me that he’s really like to kiss me right now, followed by permission to do so, asking me - ‘what do you think about that”. “I find myself not thinking at all right now” I replied honestly. D leaned his head forward, took my face into his hands and our lips locked. I’m not gonna say it was magical. That would be the understatement of the century. My lips were bigger, much bigger than his, so with every lock we made I got to feel every chap in his dry lips, every curve his tongue made when he’d try to lick his own lips in the quick betweens of head movements. His left hand still holding my face and his right hand had slowly moved down my neck, over my shoulder and under my arm to my weist and pushing my torso into his. I in return had my left hand on his shoulder, sinking my fingers into it as if terrified that at any moment he would dissappear. My right hand was on the back of his neck at the contour of the hair line and bare skin. Gently running my fingers upwards into his short hair, clenching all I could in a fist and pushing my face into his.

I don’t know how long we were kissing in front of the entrance but it must have been a while since the motion detector light went off and we were standing in complete darkness when D’s phone had rung and interrupted us. He pulled his face away, and removed his left hand from my face to get his phone, whilst keeping him right hand on my weist, as if to let me know that we were not done here. It was M, calling to inform him that while she was closing up, she had found his back pack and if he would like her to drop it off or if he’d prefer the keys to the lounge so that he can later pick it up himself. He said that he’d prefer the keys due to not being ready to go home quiet yet. D winked at as he said that last bit and pulled me closer. I blushed knowing that this not ending just yet and that there may be more to come. We held each other and talked for the next 5 to 7 minutes while waiting for M and N to drive up and hand D the keys to LBB. We saw them pull into the parking lot and as M hopped out and walked towards us I could tell she was feeling at least slightly excited. Her big brown eyes were lit with sparks and her large nude colored lips were moving in in a smirk, the girl knew she had interrupted something juicy. We exchanged pleasantries as she handed over the keys and wished us a “most sensible” night and laughed as she hugged me goodbye. As D and I watched them drive off into the night, we giggled like we were 15 and had just been caught by the school staff while making out behind the bleachers or something. I said that I can not invite him inside my apartment as I do not live alone, but we could at least move this party to the stairs in the entrance hall way. So we did.

I think I’d like to leave the rest to another tbc

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queencassiopeia6 · 4 years

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Take me back to the night we met

I had some big plans for that Thursday morning. I washed up, did my make up, straightened my hair and “casually dressed up”. My friend (let’s call her O) who had been out the country for the first time was coming home around midday, and I was rsponsible for picking her up. Well her boyfriend (let’s call him A) and I, but we weren’t well acquainted at that moment, we knew who we were, but not well at all, let’s just say that we knew what the other one looked like. I thought I had done a rather good job and looking nice that morning and with a smile I locked up the apartment, while stuffing my ear buds in, blasting my fave playlist and loading my new sunglasses onto my nose. A few moments later I had one of the biggest brain farts ever, that day was a national holiday and I didn’t check the bus schedule nor the route changes. I waited for almost 50 minutes at the bus stop before it hit me that I am going to be so late and it will be most embarassing, since I am supposed to be the responsible one in our friendship. When the bus finaly arrived I felt most relieved, all up until the conductor mentioned there is a route change due to roads being blocked off with the parade and the road will take much longer than usual. Was there a point travelling at all now? O might text me angrily while I am half way there and then it’s not much point driving further. I was beginning to sweat down the back of my neck. The slower the bus went, the more I breathed withmy mouth open, my lips went so chap (matte lipstick wasn’t any help either) that I began to gasp at some points. Thank God I am most always prepared for just about any disaster and had my giant water bottle with me, my chapstick and the wrist bands that I spin when I begin to panic. Which wasn’t all necessary since the moment we hit the highway - we jumped to hyperspace like the trusty Millennium Falcon. I got there with quite some time before her flight even landed and oh boy was I extatic no one saw my epic failure.

At first I didn’t wanna catch up with A, I am no good at akward conversations, and since him and I only hung out a few times prior to that day and she was always there to handle most of the conversation - you could see why I wasn’t all too keen on looking for him in the Arrival Zone. “O’s my friend, and they’ve been together for a while now, I gotta give this my best shot, for her sake”, that’s all that was repeatedly going on inside my head as I looked for a lanky blond fella. Spotted, looking just as elegant as ever and with a giant bouqet - damn my girl has some decent taste. Surprisingly A looked insanely relieved to see me, he left his seat to run up and give me a hug (almost took my head off while at it), I immediately felt better, his opening move gave me the reassurance that great minds think alike and that he too would like to have less space between us as friends. Turned out A’s been here for over an hour cause he’s just as tardy as our mutual target and was worried so much that he’s gonna be late to pick her up that he left the house hours in advance! Laughing about A’s mini nervous breakdown blew all the awkwardness that was ever there right out the window. The time flew right by, and before we knew it - O stepped out the gates and handed her suitcases over to us. After we exchanged pleasentries, we loaded into an Uber and drove to O’s place first (even though it’s the far far away of our town), which was actually a smart move since A began his work shift a few hours after that and he wanted to be manly and move everything from the cab to the apartment so we wouldn’t have to struggle with it later. While we unloaded, O quickly freshened upand oredred sushi to A’s work (which was our frequent stomping ground and we’ll call it LS) as we hopped back into the Uber to take him there to work and us to chill and catch up.

O and I had a lovely time smoking some excellent sheesha that A made us and munching on sushi as we talked about her time abroad and all the crap I got myself into whilst she were away. A’s coworker sat down with us at one point as him and I got properly acquainted (as we used to be less acquainted like I were with A) and had a lovely chat about some strong flavored tobacco (that I to this day can not handle). There was a booking on our table coming up and O offered we visit another place (Let’s call it LBB), where her frenemy (let’s call her M and they’re frenemies cause they dated the same dude at one point) worked, since O promised to stop by and if I were okay with it - we could chill there for the rest of the day. I didn’t have any plans that day not any clue to anything better to do, so we oredred another Uber and away we went. There was a small group of friends already there, all friends-of-friends and most were more that well acquainted with O. I met a funny but rather dramatic friend of Ms (let’s call her L) and their coworker, an eccentric young man (we’ll call him D). M immediately got my insta and followed me. The rest of the night was a tad of a blur, there was so much smoke, more sushi and loud laughter along with some intense personal stories travelling among the five of us. I too shared my recent ridiculous failure which brought much joy to everyone as not everyday you meet a 26 year old linguist with a kid of her own who just a fortnight ago fell off a scooter and is now a proud owner of a blue arm (just a wide haematoma) “which doesn’t hurt” but looks scary so I promised that tomorrow morning I will go and see a doctor (which yes I had not yet done, how irresponsible of me).

The next day, after my usual shift (from 8 to 2) I washed up, dressed up and went on a lovely sunny walk to the nearest Physical ER. Turned out the the place I was looking for was just a block down from LBB and I even thought about popping in to say hi, but as I waited in line to see a physician, thoughts about seeming clingy and being unwelcomed ate me up and I figured to better not show up uninvited. To be honest, this isn’t all that important to the story but I think it’s a quirky moment so Imma tell it anyway. The doc sent me to get an xray, explained to me that there must have been an air bubble or something that went inbetween my arm and shoulder socket when I blasted to the ground, and that’s why it were sore when I did certain hand movements. Also it turned out my elbow (which I had broken more than once while still young) had been twisted and that the haematoma was due to bone being shifted. He was shocked that I didn’t come to see him earlier. Offered me a cast, which I refused due to me not being able to do anything with it on. He put my arm back in place, prescribed me a bunch of drugs and told me to take it easy. I decided to walk the 8 blocks home since it was such a lovely evening. The sun was still high and shinning, it was nice and warn out and a fresh spring breeze was tangling my hair. Blasted some music and enjoyed an evening stroll.

The moment I got home O called me, “Get dressed, I’m coming to pick you up, we’re going to LBB”. Bro, if you had mentioned that an hour ago, I could have already been there, waiting for you. So we went. D and M were working their shift there and I immediately noticed that I didn’t pay any attention to a thing D spoke of last night, it’s like my brain had ignored him completely. Turned out we came here today cause it was D’s last day due to him travelling home (next town over) and paying his military dues. The four of sat and smoked and chatted and shared such good laughs, I was asked repeatedly to tell more stories of how I am the literal queen of distress, all the trouble I had gotten myself into over the years (boy trouble included). I was on the top of my chat game that night, I made jokes and flirted and at one point made D go into a hysterical laughing fit (I saw legitimate tears in the mans eyes), which was a tad awkward for a moment, as he was sitting next to me on the couch and at one point just layed on my knees while laughing. O and M, sitting on the couch across the table from us had an evil smirk on their faces. They whispered something to each while D was getting himself back together and then pointed us at one another and said that we have to get together now. Apperantly no one had yet gotten me to be so open so soon, and no one had made him laugh as hard as I had, ever. We all laughed over it and as O and I packed up to go home, I got his follow notification on my insta, kind of made me blush. On the ride to my place O mentioned multiple times how we’re a well made match (hey, we’re both phsycho) and that I should hit him up. But I am not one to do so, I would more likely die from a panic attack, than message a cute boy (yes I said it - I thought he was rather handsome and I just didn’t notice it before cause as I said I payed no mind to him the previous night) first.

The following weekend shall be a tbc :)

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queencassiopeia6 · 4 years

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Fall sunset

eaTo say that her hair was ginger, would be to say nothing at all. Girls have very many words to describe colors. I shouldn’t get too far into this cause I would just prove immediately just how “color blind” I am, but we all know and heard those references to late spring snow and citrus skin and merky lake water. Imma just let my fingers run wild on this old and shaky key board, let it all out best I can.

You know that perfect sunset moment, when the sun isn’t yet over the horizon, but it’s literally right there. It might not make sense, but at least once in a life time you may have noticed that time stands still as the sun sets. It’s like a blaze. An explosion. Poof and it’s gone. It’s seconds worth, but oh so worth it. I may be romanticing intothis too much, but hey, that’s me.

It was on the waterfront that late fall last year that I noticed it. Like a magic show but not everyone saw it. and those who did, certainly felt a little warmer. She wasn’t one of those insta girls, she didn’t dress for an occasion or a trend. Her legs were covered by classic black skinny jeans with a few rips around the knees. Black military boots that raise to half way up her calf. Her chequered black and white coat with a standing collar and leather sleeves covered everything from neck to knees. She had a blue woollen scarf tied carefully and with volume inside that coat and her head was covered by a black linear design trilby hat. She was leaning forward on the rails near the water, towards the west. As if she was looking for something in the water far out from the shore, as if something was to float from the horizon and swim towards her. She was near still. The last rays of the sun were touching the ground and even the street lights began to light up. That’s when it happened. It all came together, like I said - magically.

A large gust of wind came from the northern waters and blew her trilby right off her head towards the benches and bushes behind her; releasing a magnificent body of flowing curls that were no describable color. As she tunred away from the rail and water and grabbed her hat in mid air, that’s when it all came together. The sun set right behind her. It was an explosion of color. A blast of light. It was only a couple of seconds worth, but as magical moments have it - time stands still during them. And those couple seconds were most magical. The gust of wind had her hair swimming in md air, in all different directions at all of the same time. The burst of light behind her lit it all up as if that moment was soaked in gasoline. It was a flame. If you ever seen Sequoia burn - that was it. It was enchanced by the expression on her face and the color of her eyes. Her eyes were gray, it was visible by the bleaks in the shade of her iris, which was cold and gloomy but ever so bright from the coexistance of her eyes and scarf. The cobalt wool didn’t just bring out her eyes, it made them larger and more melancholy than they usualy were, I am sure of it. Her face expressed surprise and sadness. It made it seems as if that gust of wind broke her down, by taking away heer trilby, which hid her hair. Made me think that perhaps we travelled back to the sixteenth century and her hat was the only thing keeping her from being set on fire, because it was hiding that amazing color beneath it. Her eyes were not just melancholy, they were filled with sorrow; as if before the wind had blew off her hat, the reason why she was leaning on the rails and looking intothe water, not seeking for something, but perhaps watching something drown, saying goodbye. With that facial expression, her eyes were eccentrictly a large addition to the color of her hair.

I think I found the words to describe what I saw. I am not a GOT fan, I hadn’t seen it at all, but I will use the reference I heard many times: it was the true song of fire and ice.

The couple of seconds that time stood still, that lowered the sun beneath the horizon, that set her hair aflame, that froze her eyes, seemingly that would be all I need inmy life forever more. But as time has it, it caught up to me. I watched her grab her hat and land it where it belongs. She turned around to catch a last glance at the horizon, turned back on her heels and began to walk away with her hands in her pockets. I am not sure why, but I followed her for the next couple hundred meters or so, I tried to get a closer look at that fire she was trying to hide for some unimaginable and seamingly odd to me reason.

I got closer at some points, and kept distance at others, but I looked as well as I possibly could, and this is what I saw: (this is when I turn into someone who isn’t colcor blind). When she walked from light to light her hair looked like freshly set salted caramel, no streaks, just pure color. But when walked beneath a street light and it caught in the partition of her hat and scarf - her hair was copper, like old rust. It’s weird to have caramel and rust in the same category or delightful things I’ve seen, but never the less, they are magnificent. I wanted to touch it and make sure the hairs were as warm to touch as they were to stare at, but I knew just how inappropriate that idea was. I might have gotten too close, cause she turned around at stared me down with her cold desolate eyes. I saw confussion and what seemed like dissapointment, as I almost bumped into her. It was secondary. but it felt like she just saw right through me with those sorrowfull eyes. She quickly turned away and stepped into the crowd, and I just stood there, looking into all those rushing people. All those humans who were thinkin of troubles of their own, rushing home from work or school or some other activites that completely filled their head. Not even closely noticing that pure magic was walking right next to them. I tried to pick her out of the crowd, but it being fall, and everybody wearing hats and scarfs, made it difficult. The crowd turned into one big grey blurr, it made me extra sad. As if no one but me, not even her, had just saw the enchantment of the setting fall sun. The incantation one young womans hair had cast on my mind for the rest of my life. I hope I will never forget what I saw that afternoon. How I felt in that moment. Because it was truly beautiful. And candidly - that is rare now days.

#fall #autumm #sunset #horizon #hair #eyes #magic #moment #color

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