queerasiniloveyou

[queerasiniloveyou]

Source: The Femme’s Guide To The Universe, by Shar Rednour

[queerasiniloveyou]

fun discovery from today's internet rabbit hole:

the first lesbian magazine published in the US, Vice Versa (1947-48), was entirely hand-typed by one Edythe Eyde (better known by her pen name Lisa Ben - yes, that IS an anagram for lesbian). she worked as a secretary with a ton of spare time on her hands, and her boss would tell her he didn't care what she was doing so long as she "looked busy"... so she decided to use her free time to type out copies of a home-made periodical for lesbians, writing most of the content - editorials, book/film reviews, poetry, short stories, and more - herself!

overall, the magazine ran for 9 issues, 16 hand-typed copies of which lisa would mail to friends (well, until one of them advised her she could be arrested for sending "obscene" materials) and distribute at lesbian bars :)

[queerasiniloveyou]

anyways, I love butches, I love he/him butches, I love nonbinary butches, I love mascs, I love studs, I love sapphic masculinity, I love lesbian gender, I love butch/femme dynamics, I love butch/femme culture, I love butch/femme love, I love butch/femme history, I love femmes, I love lesbian gender nonconformity

[queerasiniloveyou]

to every butch and stud who needs to hear it today: you're not scary, predatory, disgusting, you're not arrogant, you're not a bad person, you're not ugly, you will always be my favourite work of art, sun shining and bringing light into my world. Your butch identity is beautiful, you make the world better, you're amazing. You're not a problem, you're not a burden. I'm proud of you, I love you, I admire you, I see you, I want you, you deserve softness, you deserve care, you deserve to be told how wonderful you are. You make my life better every time I see one of you out and about, you make me feel safe, you make me smile and I want to make you feel safe as well, you will always have a place in my arms. Your identity, your uniqueness, how you express yourself are incredible things. You are so good. I know it can be hard, but I'm here for you ♥️

from the other side of the same coin,

my heart is yours

[queerasiniloveyou]

i’ve been very curious about femmes and butches(?) and was wondering if you could give me a simple breakdown of them? of course you aren’t obligated to but im having a bit of an identity crisis and was going through some tags and you came up, so yea…

Hi! Firstly, sorry I took a while to get to this, I've been trying to find a good way to talk about complex and subjective identities (there are so many ways to be butch and femme , it's not one size fits all because everyone is a little different), specially talking about them in a way that doesn't diminish them into aesthetics, because I want people the understand that the center of butch and femme isn't looks.

I have decided that a decent simple breakdown would be a quote from this article:

"femmes reclaiming femininity from the male gaze or rejecting feminine gender norms by embracing butch"

That article talks in a concise way about the historical context of butch and femme bar culture, which I'd advise reading.

Something I want to put importance to, that to me is essential to butch/femme identities, is they are at the end of the day about community, about being there for each other, about taking care of each other, about finding safety in each other's arms when the world is still shitty towards you, about protecting one another in any way that you can and making sure they feel that sense of belonging in our community. I often say, and have heard many people in the community say as well, butch and femme are two sides of the same coin facing struggles and fighting to protect our counterparts however we need to.

As femmes, for example, you can sometimes see that in accompanying our butch to a public restroom to help avoid harassment they sometimes (honestly way too often) get for looking how they look.

Holding a butch's hand whenever they feel shy or afraid they'll be judged for who they are and how they look, letting them know I'm proud of them for who they are, for existing. Putting myself in front of them whenever harassment and judgment does come for them.

Holding my head proudly as I hold my butch's hand because sometimes people still look at us weird, being direct and loud, if I have to, for myself and my love.

Aside from that, if you want to read more into it there are a few books I strongly suggest that I have read and I'll leave a link so you can find the PDF versions to them:

The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader - by Joan Nestle

Butch Is a Noun - by S. Bear Bergman

Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme - by Ivan E. Coyote and Zena Sharman

here's a list of general sapphic books, that might help and honestly I guess you might just enjoy idk.

[queerasiniloveyou]

I'll make this its own post, because of the amount of people that have asked.

Let's talk the difference between feminine lesbians and femme lesbians.

Feminine is a form of presentation, it speaks directly to how you present.

Femme doesn't mean feminine lesbian, because regardless of the fact that some femmes are feminine/hyper feminine, not all feminine lesbians are femme, not all femmes are standardly feminine (usually most aren't), some are explicitly gender non conforming.

Femme as I talk about on this post and on my blog is more of a community role, based in the butch/femme community, that has a long history from bar culture. Femme inherently relates to subverting femininity from cishet standards and towards the community, making it our own. These are identities (butch and femme) involve social, erotic, emotional reasons/intentions and contexts, ways of looking, loving and living expressed by a community.

Simply put, when I'm talking butch and femme, I mean people who are two sides of the same coin and have historically respected and backed each other up and been home and safety to each other, even without any romantic inclinations, that usually subvert traditional understanding of femininity and masculinity. There's a lot of deconstructing gender and taking matters of femininity and masculinity in our own ways, which can mean as mentioned previously that femmes can be, and a lot of the time are, as gender non conforming as butches and also, a lot of the time, not cis, because sometimes people outside these circles look at these identities through a very cis centered white lens.

Which is why, I want also clarify that it's important that the notion of femme not become limited by the hyper feminine white idea of it as well. That's easily ingrained in us and it's good to be conscious of it.

[queerasiniloveyou]

was putting this together for a mutual and decided it would be good to share;

Books and articles about lesbianism by black and poc authors, here's a start:

Afrekete: An Anthology of Black Lesbian Writing edited by Catherine McKinley and L. Joyce Delaney

Mouths of Rain: An Anthology of Black Lesbian Thought edited by Briona Simone Jones

Black lesbian in white America by Anita Cornwell

In Our Words: Queer Stories from Black, Indigenous, and People of Color Writers edited by Anne Shade and Victoria Villaseñor

Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde

Zami: a new spelling of my name by Audre Lorde

Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H (Novel)

Black Lesbian gender and sexual culture: celebration and resistance by Bianca D. M. Wilson - (this one's an article)

The myth and tradition of the black Bulldagger by SDiane A. Bogus - ( it's an essay from the book Dagger: On Butch Women)

Femmes of Color, "Femmes de Couleur": Theorizing Black Queer Femininity through Chauvet's "La danse sur le volcan" by Omise'eke Natasha Tinsley - (article)

Black lesbians in the '70s and Before from the Lesbian Herstory Archives by Shawn(ta) Smith - (it's a zine)

[queerasiniloveyou]

I'll say it again, stone identities don't have to stem from trauma, stone identities are still just as valid if you have no trauma regarding your boundaries. There's nothing wrong with not being vers, only doing one thing not the other, the same way that there's not wrong with being vers.

[queerasiniloveyou]

thinking about tricking a butch service top into taking care of themself by using the "for me?🥺" combo

"You should get a nice little snack, baby, please, for me 🥺"

"You should drink more water, my love, for me 🥺"

"You should get some rest, my Knight, you know I love when you take care of yourself 🥺 you're so good for me"

"come here, prettyboy, let me play with your hair and lightly scratch your back so you can relax, that'll make me so happy 🥺"

"please, baby, are you gonna be my good butch? 🥺"

[queerasiniloveyou]

the feminine urge to shower my butch with love and affection, to make sure they're healthy, feeling loved and appreciated, to make sure they're taken care of, to treat them in the softest ways possible, to give them the world...

[queerasiniloveyou]

Butch is a Noun by S. Bear Bergman

[queerasiniloveyou]

The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader by Joan Nestle, 1992.

ID: text reading:

"For the butch women I have loved, the experience of being butch went back to childhood, to not fitting into gender expectations for girls. She may not have had words to name it, perhaps just feelings of isolation or a sense of failure, perhaps rejection by other girls or boys at puberty. The toughness in her stance was a way of holding herself strong against the harassment she encountered on city streets, in women's restrooms, from parents and siblings trying to mold her into a shape she did not fit. It was from my butch lovers and friends that I learned what it means to be queer. Being femme for me is linked to my treasuring of butch women, to my deep erotic need and hunger for the very qualities that have banished her. To be femme is to give honor where there has been shame. "

END ID

[queerasiniloveyou]

South of Market Leather History: a Short History and Walking Tour Guide by Gayle Rubin (2001)

[queerasiniloveyou]

Hump the boot that kicks you or whatever they say

[queerasiniloveyou]

A lot of the dialogue I see on here about the demonization of butch lesbians in both wlw and non-wlw circles never takes into account butch lesbians of color, and so I want to remind everyone that butch lesbians of color face amplified forms of alienation, dehumanization, and fetishization because they aren’t just butch or lesbian or nonwhite but all three simultaneously. 

Butch lesbians of color deserve all the love and respect in this world. They shouldn’t be ignored in your conversations about fetishization or homophobia or racism. Butch lesbians of color are often treated as if they are predatory and aggressive, which isn’t just rooted in lesbophobia - it’s also rooted in racism and fetishization. On the other hand, they may not be deemed “butch/gnc” enough by white women, and may not have access to performing their butch identity that white women do. But lesbian woc who identify as butch are butch, and no white woman or non-lesbian can take that away from them. 

Butch lesbians of color are a diverse, multifaceted group of people spanning ages, countries, religions, races, and experiences. They are central to lesbian culture, to wlw/lbpq solidarity, and to LGBT resistance. They have been an essential part of feminist scholarship and organizing. They have been at the forefront of anti-racist, anti-colonialist, anti-capitalist, and anti-imperialist movements. Their contributions to lesbian culture, to lbpq solidarity, and to LGBT liberation are innumerable, priceless, and ever-expanding. 

Protect, prioritize, and respect butch lesbians of color. Advocate for them the way they have fought for every single person in their myriad communities and coalitions. 

(This is wholly inclusive of trans and nonbinary butch lesbians of color). 

[queerasiniloveyou]

as a masochist it is your duty to make sadists feel comfortable expressing their desire to hurt people. if im allowed to say "i should be getting cut open and have my organs fondled bloodystyle" sadists should be able to say "i should be cutting someone open and fondling their organs bloodystyle". SADISTS GET BEHIND ME. i Will protect you

[queerasiniloveyou]

“Masc lesbian shortage” is forever a red flag to me bc 9 times out of 10 when you ask them what they mean they’re like “they keep transitioning 😭 to MEN😭”. Stop fucking complaining about trans people existing and go give a transmasc 100$ rn