queerchoicesblog - Tumblr blog

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Do you ever miss someone and automatically feel stupid because you know they probably don’t?

[queerchoicesblog]

I feel heartbroken and numb at the same time. Like there’s shards in my heart but I can’t feel them. More and more keep getting added and I just helplessly watch it happen.

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“You’re a slut and a whore for the algorithm. I couldn’t do it anymore. You can never feed it enough. You start out making art, and hoping that the door will open. You’re looking for that viral moment so it opens up the door and you can do the thing full time. But you start to compromise just to get the door to open: guessing what it wants, debasing yourself, alienating yourself. Until you’re not even in service to your art anymore. You’re in service to the algorithm. Deep down every artist just wants to be seen. Everyone does. And that’s how it controls you. The algorithm makes you behave in a certain way, create in a certain way, in exchange for being seen. And if something can change what you do, it can change who you are. And I didn’t sign up for that. I didn’t sign up to become a content creator. Art was supposed to be a way for me to be in search of, in service to, in community with. It was my ministry. Art was supposed to be my ministry.”

[queerchoicesblog]

Top 5 of the non-for-the-faint-of heart things the past few years taught me:

1. People think of you less than you think and forget about you quickly.

2. Give someone care and attention and they'll drop you like an old toy when they no longer need you and find someone else to flood with care and attention. Kindness only leads to emotional burnout in this messed up world, no matter how unfair this is and no, karma won't fix a thing. It's just an old myth we tell ourselves to soothe our fears. I've spent my whole life preaching for kindness, for the first time now I wonder if I should keep encouraging that though: if nobody applies it, it only makes you miserable.

3. Be an asshole, be cavalier and treat people like they don't matter much to you at the end of the day and they'll go above and beyond to please you and be there for you. It'll be their priority, you'll be their priority and they'll bestow the most revered adoration on you.

4. Never being enough is a curse either way: your mind tells you so or people show you so.

Seeing yourself when nobody sees you is incredibly hard and it bleeds your heart out in the long run.

5. You need good things happening to you every now and then in your life. Just to catch some breath. If that doesn't happen, you're trapped underwater.

[queerchoicesblog]

Anyone else just feel insanely unlovable?

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i wish i wasn’t so disposable

[queerchoicesblog]

Instead of choosing an intensive, unrealistic, or punishing goal this New Year ask yourself: What is one simple thing that would enrich my life this new year? Maybe you can do three paintings this year. Maybe you can buy and care for a potted plant. Maybe you can learn to cook one meal exceptionally well. You don't need to push yourself to the brink. Let's stop committing to punishing goals based on insecurity and start asking what will enrich our lives.

[queerchoicesblog]

quote from Rosa, Rosa 🌹

[queerchoicesblog]

"I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love I couldn't take any more. Just once."

- Haruki Murakami

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There are far too many silent sufferers. Not because they don't yearn to reach out, but because they've tried and found no one who cares.

-Richelle E. Goodrich

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Happy Pride Month To The Forgotten 🏳️‍🌈

To the disabled, the sick, the chronically ill this crazy cruel world ignores because you don’t fit the blatant ableism of our society.

To the scared & the fragile.

To those struggling with mental health issues.

To the closeted, to the ones living in places where being yourself is too risky to come out. (Please stay safe🙏🏻)

To those who could come out but are afraid everything will change and nobody will love them anymore if they knew the truth.

To those dealing with dysphoria.

To those transitioning.

To the intersex brothers and sisters.

To the sad ones & the lonely.

To the baby queers embracing their true self & the late bloomers figuring themselves out later in life like me.

To the rejected and the ones no one falls in love with.

To those whose journey into queerness brought little joy so far but made them awfully familiar with loneliness, grief and heartbreak.

To those who feel the gap, the sudden deep sense of non belonging. Of being the one no one can really relate too: too sick, too weird, too lonely, too sad, too loveless.

May things get better for you way sooner than you expect. May life be gentle to you, at last, when you stopped expecting it because no matter what, you deserve it.

Happy Pride Month to you, wherever you are.

You are seen, you are loved, you are valid & beautiful ❤️🏳️‍🌈

[queerchoicesblog]

“You hurt. It’s okay. I hurt too. Hold my hand.”

— Neil Gaiman, The Sandman