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Please remember when communicating with anyone and everyone- whether your neighbor, friend, family member, cashier, landlord, mailman, etc- they are human as well.
Please do not push that you are better than anyone, we all deserve equal respect and understand.
You never know what someone is going through in their own mind as well. So please keep that in mind as well when you tell someone, especially someone in a customer service position that that their entire existence was a mistake. Service providers go through verbal abuse all day even when only trying to assist you. You may be the one to push someone over the edge.
Do not cuss and swear at people when they are only speaking respectfully to you. Again, respect is deserved on all sides. It does not accomplish anything for anybody, only spirals the conversations farther and farther from where they need to be.
So please, next time- consider your words. And if someone gives you the opportunity to step back and resume a conversation in a more civilized matter, even if you cant swallow your pride and apologize - at least continue that conversation as an adult and move past the cussing and putting people down. Do not push further.
I work in a field where I am constantly verbally assaulted, no matter what I do or if I even knew of your issue at all prior to the moment you begin screaming at me that I am the one to blame for everything in your life. Heck, I may not even know your name until you've been screaming at me for 20 minutes straight. And that gets to me some days. Not always. And I become almost immune to it some days. But i shouldn't have to become numb to being told I'm a worthless piece of shit. Nobody should ever have to be told that let alone be told it so much you become numb to it. I have struggled with my mental health since age 12.. possibly longer. As long as I can remember. And while today wasn't the day that broke me, another day might. While today I had my fiance come home and give me a hug and tell me how much he loved me, I may not have that everyday and some people may not have that today. Today even though it wasnt my breaking point, I had 3 anxiety attacks and here I am up at 3am overthing everything and hating myself for existing.
Please think before you speak.
You are no better than anyone else.
They deserve respect just as much as you do.
If you cant control your words, walk away until you can.
We are all human.
If you cannot be kind, at least be professional or respectful. Profanity gets us nowhere.
Please.
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One of the most important things to me was to one day be a mother. A fantastic, loving mother with children that adored me. A happy family with a loving husband. I never thought for a second that may not happen.
And then I learned I may never be able to have children. Not because I was trying.. I wasnt ready.. I'm still not ready. But because I had emergency surgery on my appendix and issues were noticed in my CT Scans. But they wont cut me open to confirm nor do I really want another abdominal incision. But now I know I may never have that life I always wanted. I know I could adopt - but I dont want to. I know that sounds selfish. I'm not against adoption, I would actually love to adopt. It is more than I want to have a pregnancy, I want that experience, I want to breastfeed and have that connection.. at least once.
My original life plans included my first love. 2 kids. A boy and a girl. We picked names and everything. Well... hes expecting his first baby boy with his new wife. And I'm happy for him, really. But I'm also jealous. Not that he isnt mine. Not that hes fulfilling our life plans with someone else. But because I may never have that. But I'm so happy he gets this experience. I just wish I got it too. But if he was with me, he may have never had the experience as well and for that I'm so happy he found someone he loves that could bear his children. But why cant I have that.
I remember when I first found out and begin making some appointments to get some more opinions and tests done. I remember calling my fiance, crying. Not for my pain necessarily but I was asking if he wanted to leave me if I couldnt have kids. Just because I have the burden, why should he? Why should he give up wanting children just to be with me? Why continue wasting time with me when he could find someone that can have that life with him? I dont entirely remember what he said. I know we didnt break up, that we are still together today. I remember seeing a message he sent to his mom - telling her of my question and situation. Seemingly hurt and confused why I'd think he wouldnt want me just because I couldnt have kids. But it hadnt been about what I thought he wanted. It was more not wanting to take that possibility out of his life because children were so important to me that I couldnt imagine inflicting the pain I felt in that moment on my worst enemy, let alone the man I love. I felt he deserved to know he had the option and I'd understand regardless.
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Depression is hitting hard. All the negatives coming to the surface, just at the back of my mind, haunting me.
The heartbreak from my first love. The loss of a best friend I loved dearly that disappeared into nothingness. The heartbreak I inflicted on my dying boyfriend at the time.. and his death that floats to the surface for me more often lately. The phone call about my grandmother passing. Seeing my grandmothers lifeless body and crying hysterically for days. The call from my crying father about my grandfather passing. My father forcing me to see his body while I was still haunted by my memory and regret or seeing my maternal grandmothers body just a month and a half before. Death. So much death. Anyone I have ever hurt - guys I hardly knew that seemed to care for me. The man that wanted to give me the world that I rejected for someone else. Everything.
None of it will leave my mind tonight.
If only I could make it all stop
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Lovely, sun-filled room is perfect for plants. (The lucky lady who lives here says, “ Y’all… I am never going to get over how privileged I am to be living in this room.”)
via instagram
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“Cause you are my everything, everything I have ever dreamed of.”
— k.b. // you’re my dream (via whendidmythoughtsgocrazy)
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One day you’ll be laying with a new boy on the couch thinking I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life with him but I can spend tonight. And you’ll feel really empty. Then one day, three years later, you’ll be on your way home thinking I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life without him and you’ll open the door and he’ll be there with a ring and you’ll realize you won’t have to. And you’ll feel really, really full.
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things to remember:
you don't have to be perfect
having a bad day is ok
small steps are still progress
asking for help is strength
people love and care about you
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