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STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:
transition
bdsm
iron supplements
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I actually do feel like the "unemployed friend on a Tuesday" meme actually helps de-stigmatize unemployment because it frequently affirms that when you don't have a job you're more likely to be getting up to some weird shit rather than just lazing around. But I also feel like the unemployed friend is frequently up to some random shit because there's a whole pile of miscellaneous life tasks that full-time employment keeps people from. The unemployed friend is helping their cousin move, or babysitting, or checking in with a neighbor with mobility issues. The unemployed friend is a walking thesis on the inflexibility of our current labor landscape and just how much work exists outside of work.
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little girl whose fursona is a baby cow: for my third wish i want you to make the saying "you are what you eat" literal, no matter the disaster, no matter the pain
genie: yah ok
vampire working his office job: turns into an 8 foot wave of human blood sweeping through the office drowning his coworkers and thoroughly saturating everything, the furniture the walls the floor, with blood carrying a large variety of diseases, so that renovation is not an option and the entire building has to be condemned once men in full body hazmat suits confirm that nobody survived
tarrare somewhere in his grave: turns into a toddler
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[throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] Dude stay still jesus christ [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses]
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that pistachio completely sealed in its shell is scared and alone, like a miner trapped by rubble. you need to free it by any means necessary. get the gun from your dad's cabinet
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Fleetwood Mac was crazy like ah yes let me perform this song I wrote about how my wife cheated on me with my wife and the woman who I am currrently cheating on her with and also the man she cheated on me with and the drummer who is high on cocaine always
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you can post literally anything anywhere and some harry potter fan will appear and be like OMG this is just like flerky parsons #maraudersera 😍😍 and half the time flerky parsons is like, a race purist who was mentioned in the books maybe twice offhand and never had a single line of dialogue or a physical description
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stick yr dick in a girl and there's a horrible grinding sound and blinding pain and when u pull out your dick has been perfectly flattened and embossed with a t rex design and the name of the local natural history museum
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“Not platonic, or familial, or romantic, but a secret fourth thing.” Abuse. Babes it’s abuse.

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If you think about it…. the acronym KYS isn’t saying “kill yourself,” it’s saying Kill Your Self. Three words. As in, kill the concept of the “Self” - your consciousness’s perception that it is an individual, that it has one meaningful isolated identity that is “you,” that it is not but a droplet in the grand ocean of interconnected souls of all living beings in this universe. I think this is beautiful. Embrace ego death and become one with everything. Everyone should KYS
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your aversion to anything earnest or sincere has affected us in the following ways 1. youre annoyinggggggg
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does anyone wanna do some gay bullshit to me
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