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Steven Strait as James Holden in The Expanse 6x06 Babybon's Ashes

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+ @quixoticfcrged sent : scars/bruises meme it really is on my blog somewhere / accepting

Part of the android was torn. Torn between wanting to fix everything, make everything okay, and wanting to poke every single one of those bruises. Not because she wanted to hurt Jim. It just put a pit in what would have been her stomach, had she been human, to see him like this. To know that he would put himself in situations where he could get hurt. All because he had to do the right thing and, sometimes, that meant putting himself in harm's way.

"I'm curious..." Words were soft as she tended to wounds, gently slipped fingers over the bruises that were forming. "What do you hear when I ask you to be careful? Is it garbled?" There was no anger in her voice, only a bit of resignation coupled with a tiny bit of teasing. She slid fingers over a particularly nasty bruise that had begun to form on his cheek. "Just once, I'd like it if you could stay out of trouble. Just once."

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MONDAY (2021)

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@quixoticfcrged asked: “ you are the good in my life. “ / for naomi from holden

HER HAND THAT WAS WOVEN IN HIS HAIR SUDDENLY STILLED. and for a brief moment it was like her breath had stopped as well. the size of their shared crash couch didn't allow for much personal space, so intimacy came easily with the proximity. still, nothing could prepare naomi for the vulnerability that came with low spoken intimate words between them in such state. she reveled in it as much as she feared it. he didn't know, truly know, everything about her. that's why it was easy to say that. at least, that was partially what she told herself.

she resumed her soothing motions, and her fingers continued running through his hair. occasionally, her thumb lowered and brushed the skin between his hairline and temple. " oh, honey... " she whispered gently. during moments like this, naomi wished she could tell him everything. she couldn't. not yet. nor did she know how to respond to such a statement. instead, she said, " i'm right here. i'm not going anywhere. " the again remained unsaid. naomi could promise him as much now. and she sealed her presence with a brush of her lips against his forehead.

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Steven Strait as James Holden in The Expanse 6.06 Babylon's Ashes

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@aeternals / halston continued from [x]

He nuzzled in again to steal another lingering kiss before pulling back, offering out the second bulb of coffee as he replied. "Pretty decent," Holden admitted, letting a hand slide up to tease through the still tousled strands of her bed head with a soft, low hum. Falling asleep with her in his arms, and waking up with her next to him certainly didn't hurt. And these times? The in between times, when the mandates had already been issued, but before the trouble could begin, were some of the better times he'd spent on the ship, with his crew, his little found family.

"Waking up with no new messages from Avasarala chewing my ass out, fresh coffee made, nobody trying to kill us yet, and no alarms blaring - I don't want to jinx it, but I can't think of a single thing to complain about." He let himself slide closer, an arm curling around her waist, happy to enjoy the moment for what it offered. "Alex said something about a ... Kamal brunch supreme in a few, wanted me to extend the invitation to you, too, if you want to join."

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Rollo May, Man's Search for Himself

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I'm standing on a stage Of fear and self-doubt It's a hollow play But they'll clap anyway

My body is a cage That keeps me from dancing with the one I love But my mind holds the key

You're standing next to me My mind holds the key

I'm living in an age That calls darkness light Though my language is dead Still the shapes fill my head

I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow

My body is a cage That keeps me from dancing with the one I love But my mind holds the key

You're standing next to me My mind holds the key My body is a...

My body is a cage We take what we're given Just because you've forgotten That don't mean you're forgiven

I'm living in an age that Screams my name at night But when I get to the doorway There's no one in sight

I'm living in an age They laugh when I'm dancing with the one I love But my mind holds the key

You're standing next to me My mind holds the key

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holden in a nutshell

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@quixoticfcrged sent, sender kisses receiver's inner thighs.

halston couldn't remember the last time spending an intimate evening with someone made her feel so complete. james holden's caring personality seemed to follow him into the bedroom. well, more specifically, her bedroom on tycho station. it was one of the smaller rooms offered in the same section desiderius lived in. in fact, he the one who helped her get her hands on it and since it was just her with no plans to add someone else, the small accommodations worked for her.

the bed folded down from the wall and when it was propped up a table could be folded out for her to work on. an alcove was carved out for the small kitchenette and another door led to the bathroom. more often than not she kept the bed down and simply used the mattress as a table top. in this instance, it worked in her favor as it meant less time fiddling with the bed cables when they crashed through the front door.

a corner of the sheet was draped over her upper body for no reason other than habit. since they'd both spent a good amount of time naked before arriving at that particular moment it wasn't like she was hiding for the sake of modesty. his body between her legs provided a surprising amount of warmth so the corner wasn't for temperature, either.

lips press to the sensitive skin of her inner thigh, making her giggle and jerk. hands keep firmly pressed to her legs, keeping her in place. the singer props her upper body up onto her elbows as another kiss sends electricity up her spine. this one elicits a soft moan. halston's; head falls back to enjoy the next several kisses and her hips lift up in the hopes of those lips climbing closer to her apex.

" you keep that up and i'm gonna need a round two so, please don't tease me. "

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@quixoticfcrged sent, sender kisses receiver to say good morning.

meeting james holden and crew back on eros wasn't something halston imagined would change her life as completely as it did. sure, there was the trauma from what she saw and heard but the friendships forged would last the rest of her life. didn't matter what happened to her career ( although, that had also changed when she met them ) as long as she got to call them friends.

and maybe something more.

the trip to ilus iv was one she could not miss. not only for the sheer amount of fodder for her music but for the opportunity to travel through the ring. halston had no desire otherwise but it felt like one of those things you had to experience once. especially now that it wasn't doing weird mind of it's own things.

that hadn't been any fun watching on the news feeds.

another benefit of joining the trip was getting to see holden in all his captain glory. he was the same and yet wholly different in the belly of the rocinante. admittedly, she could get used to the way he wore that captain's mantle and on more than one occasion she'd teased about ordering her around. holden was more alive than she'd ever seen him on tycho. maybe because there were different responsibilities out here; ones he wore very well.

he'd gotten out of bed sometime before she woke up and while halston had no idea why the telltale red lights weren't on, so she didn't worry about it. the singer was getting dressed when the door hissed open with a grinning holden holding two mugs on the other side. halston's too busy standing there smiling like an idiot when he walks inside and sets the cups down.

she's still stunned watching him as he leans in to cradle the back of her head. a lifetime flashes before her eyes when their lips meet. hopes, dreams, and happiness manifest in a variant future she wondered could be reality. there are times when holden is surprisingly gentle others when he's blessedly strong. halston withstands the temptation to jump up into his arms to make a little music between them before captain duties whisk him away again.

" good morning, " she sucks in a breath when they pull away. " how'd you sleep? "

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@quixoticfcrged said, " is that blood? are you bleeding? "

to say that things on new terra weren't going as halston had imagined would be a pretty decent understatement. the inners and the belters were at each others' throats for an attack on the rcea dropship. everything was a back and forth of violence and distrust. yet, she hadn't expected gunfire to break out in the middle of the fucking road.

at the first shot, halston ducked for a nearby child, pushing them out of the way. something must've clipped her because the next thing she knows there's a hole going through her shoulder. odd how it didn't hurt until she looked at it, then it felt like every pulse was a shock through her system. nerves cried out and fire lit on her skin.

go find your mom, the singer remembered smiling at the child. get inside. she hadn't had the strength to move, though. luckily, hiding behind a box until someone screamed for everyone to stop kept her out of the rest of the fight. even then, halston was too scared to move. she wasn't equipped for this kind of scenario nor did she really understand how to protect anyone with more than just words. would her continued presence do more harm than good? would holden regret allowing her to come?

" hi, " she says as her head rolls to the side. after the shooting stopped she'd meant to stand up. how long ago was that?

holden's question finally registers and the smaller woman shakes her head. eyes pinch shut, trying to rememeber. but, remember what? his question didn't need her to remember anything. " no? i think it stopped. it stops, right? let me just sit here a little while longer and we can figure it out. "

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+ @quixoticfcrged sent : ❛ i really want to kiss you right now. ❜ / holden and ANNA subtle lemony scent / accepting

For a brief moment, she thinks she's misheard. Thinks, perhaps, that Holden meant something else. Or meant someone else. Synthetic eyes turn up, study his for a moment, and ANNA realizes what she already knew, he is as earnest as ever. And, while she wouldn't call his look hopeful, she's seen that look before, it's pretty damned close. There's a tightness in her chest, a feeling she's becoming more and more acquainted with.

A hand, close enough to organic material to feel like the real thing, reaches out to touch his cheek. Teeth briefly gather her bottom lip. How long has she wanted this? Wanted what she knows is more than a kiss, though she can't explain how she knows it. "What's stopping you?" Whatever his answer is, she can accept it, but there is still a pit of nerves that forms. "Because I---I would like it very much if you did."