qwanderer

[qwanderer]

I’ve seen a few fics wherein, due to various misunderstandings, Charles thinks (wrongly) that Edwin is being/continuing to be touch-averse after they’re together and doesn’t want hugs or kisses. And decides that that’s okay, and he’ll just happily take whatever Edwin wants to give him, and love him however he is. Then, of course, the misunderstanding is resolved, and there are many hugs and kisses.

But I’m kind of interested in the concept of it not being a misunderstanding. Because if 35 years of constant day and night companionship don’t make you completely comfortable with someone’s touch, adding romance to the mix isn’t going to magically change that, you know? Like, for me, I’m touch-averse to at least some extent with everyone on the planet except my brother, and that includes my partner whom I have known for about a decade, whom I love very very much, and whom, on some levels, I love touching.

Because the touch-aversion exceptions don’t really care what label is on your relationship, or even how much you love someone, or even-even how much some parts of your brain like touching them. That’s barely a factor, really, any of those. For me, anyway, if those decades of familiarity and safety and desensitization won’t do it, nothing further will.

So I’m really interested in the idea of an Edwin who’s been kissed, now, but would still answer “Do you miss kissing?” in the negative, just a more informed and confident negative now. Who loves hugging Charles but only sometimes, only when his brain is in the right place and skin and pressure don’t make him feel like electricity’s running painfully through his veins.

And him and Charles learning how to negotiate that. What touches give Charles (and Edwin, because touch-aversion does not necessarily rule out touch-starvation) what he needs without taking from Edwin something it hurts to give. Kisses on each other’s hands, perhaps, instead of the invasive face-to-face sensitive-skin business. Sitting facing opposite directions leaned up against each other, like they’re each other’s backrests.

Two of Edwin’s fingers carefully resting against Charles’s knee, on days when any more would ache, for hours at a time, just that tiny connecting contact but so long and so tender it holds them together as strongly as joined handcuffs. Charles’s head on Edwin’s lap but never the other way around; Edwin’s head on Charles’s shoulder but never the other way around.

Hugs that squeeze hard, never a light half-hug, but also never a trapping one. A hand signal for when Edwin’s brain is willing to do hugs, that tends to lead to Charles diving into his arms no matter the external situation and who’s present, and conversely a signal for when hugs would be too unpleasant to take.

Edwin would be willing to do whatever Charles wanted, of course. If Charles wanted him to spend half his day with Charles’s tongue down his throat and the other half with Charles wrapped around him like an octopus, he would, without hesitation or complaint. He’d probably take the constant ache and electricity under his skin and screaming static inside his head out on clients and Crystal and any bad guy on the wrong end of his casting hand, but he’d not only do it, he’d do his damndest to keep Charles from knowing what it cost.

But Charles knows him far too well, for that. He doesn’t know words like “touch-averse”, sure, but he can certainly notice that a light brush down Edwin’s arm when they’re in a loud room puts more visible pain on Edwin’s face than a high-powered torture hex does, and adjust accordingly.

So they find their little touches, and their big touches, where they can, where they don’t hurt either of them. And Edwin sits on the sofa, with Charles down on the floor leaning back against it, one of Edwin’s hands tangled in Charles’s curls, one-way safe touch, and, fuck. Both of them are pretty sure they’ve never felt anything better in their entire existence.

[qwanderer]

“Charles, there is absolutely no need to use my own binding spell on us.”

“Wouldn’t want us to get separated in this haunted house, would I? And also, I kinda like the idea of our ... uhm ... bond being visible like this.”

“Charles Rowland, even after more than three decades of knowing you, you still surprise me at times.”

“I do? That’s brills.”

“Indeed. This is quite unexpectedly – and almost shockingly – romantic.”

“Innit?”

For yesterday’s and tomorrow’s @dbdpromptober : Tricksters & Love

[qwanderer]

[qwanderer]

sometimes i think about how eliot spencer in any other font would be such an annoying character. like he's the gruff, ex-military, man pain guy who gets all the girls. and then they said no! he's a thoughtful and kind man who children love and who has an absolutely mind-obliterating insane amount of ptsd. and he's got long hair, jewelry, and probably some sort of pronouns situation. and he's almost certainly in a sort of queerplatonic throuple with an adhd genius and the most autistic woman(?) alive. what a character

[qwanderer]

my take on the miss piggy/morticia addams sexywoman poll is that while morticia would lose gracefully, miss piggy would 1000% attempt murder over the label and morticia would respect her for it. then theyd go out for tea and gossip together

[qwanderer]

There are so many theories about Columbo’s wife not being real (she’s a complete fabrication, she’s secretly his boyfriend, he’s actually talking about a very opinionated cat, etc) and I love all of them but tbh he really gives off major ���out of touch but super supportive straight man with a trans wife” vibes.

His wife was one of his guy friends for a while and when she finally came out to him he was like “Oh, wouldja look at that! This is VERY convenient. See, I’ve never been into guys myself. Nothing against fellas who like that, just not my cup of tea. So I’ve been trying to figure out for ages why I want to ask you out on a date. Confusin the heck out of me. Again, nothing against it, just never something I’ve been into before. I was having a whole identity crisis over it, Yknow. But I guess that clears all that up! Whaddaya say to dinner?”

[qwanderer]

Sorry if I'm mixing you up with someone else, but you've worked security before, right?

If you're willing, I'd be really interested on your thoughts on the murderbot diaries or murderbot as a character with that in mind?

Like did you recognise aspects of your job in murderbots descriptions of security work? Or did they like throw you out of immersion in the story?

Anyway thanks and hope you're having a good day/evening wherever you are!

As a security guard who has read the first two Murderbot books, Murderbot has been the number one most realistic security specialist character I have ever seen in media so far 😭

The third most annoying thing in security in my experience is handling threats. The second most annoying thing is having no threats to handle and being bored. The number one most annoying thing is the client being an idiot

Ihave social anxiety which I am medicated for. When I am in uniform with clear instructions, that anxiety is zero. I have a script and a set of rules and that makes life easy. I’m super good at performing tasks with clear expectations and that’s kinda how I keep getting good offers, it’s super straightforward

Bad clients are clients who give stupid, inefficient, counterproductive, cruel, or flat-out illegal orders. There are ways of shutting that shit down without them losing heir shit, but it’s still a pain in the ass every time

I’m a security specialist. I specialize in security. This is what I am trained for- handling crisis situations and minimizing harm. If you, an off-shift cashier at pet smart, see me deescalating a situation and decide you’re gonna drop your untrained uninformed ass in there with zero context or skills and “help” because I look small and helpless, then all you’re doing is increasing my likelihood of getting hurt while increasing my paperwork load by like two hours, and I’m gonna hate you the entire time. What you have essentially done is promoted me to meat shield while giving the aggressor I’m calming down an obnoxious and aggravating hostage. Good god please do not

Yes, I am sometimes asked to stand perfectly still in a corner for several hours like a mannequin. What do I do to avoid going insane? Think about Star Trek and the very good fanfiction I’ll be reading on my break, mostly

Yes I can assist in evacuating tw location in the event of an environmental disaster. No I cannot tell my waiter that they put cilantro on the wrong order. Yes this makes perfect sense

I love Murderbot. I love how realistic it is. Like obviously I can’t speak for everyone in the industry but yeah I’ve worked for absolute dogshit security companies in the past and yeah a lot of the books so far are super accurate to that experience so A+ so far, honestly

[qwanderer]

i love that sophie canonically told eliot, hardison & parker her real name like a decade ago, but now, even when its just them four alone, they still call her sophie. on one hand, that's very sweet and significant - as she tells astrid, sophie is her "real name", sophie devereaux has become real through the important relationships she's had as sophie and the way they've shaped her as a person. on the other hand, i think it would be funny if they're not calling her by the "real name" because they forgor

[qwanderer]

edwin payne, through the eyes of hob gadling

from @catalists's what some circumstance stole

The two weeks that Hob spent in that basement were certainly on the side of life that was, as Edwin said, awful . The bright spot of it was Edwin, who Hob liked immediately. He was snarky on reflex, but kind in a deliberate way, incredibly single-minded towards their escape, and had a resilience that Hob could only marvel at. - And as he spoke, he could think of the thing he couldn’t, wouldn’t say in response to Edwin’s prior petulant declaration. I’m not a child. God help me, Hob thought, but you are.

[qwanderer]

Is your blorbo actually from your shows?

Yes, my blorbo is from a TV show

Yes, my blorbo is from something else I consider a "show"

No, my blorbo is not from a show

No, I don't have a blorbo

[qwanderer]

you ask tigger what his gender is and he's like "i'm a tigger" and you're like "ok but what are your pronouns" and he's like "t/i/double-guh/er"

[qwanderer]

This was fun! Now I just need to find a blacksmith who makes 'non-standard' arrowheads...

(There was a lot of info that didn't make the final cut of this- if you want to see the extended version, head over to Patreon!)

[qwanderer]

I love your art so much

You're taking requests and could I ask for Charles just like hugging and nuzzling to Edwin after a long case? Perhaps he thought he was going to lose him?

Thank you have a great day

🥲thanks for the request 💕

[qwanderer]

I was trying to find out if Kermit was eligible to be pope and I found a blog that says he's the perfect example of a catholic priest

[qwanderer]

nonbinary hiker call that trail mx

[qwanderer]

Finally watching 3x01 of redemption and I loooove the Hardison and Eliot thing where Hardison will poke fun at Eliot, just generally tease him, right after Eliot’s just done this big act of violence - “there’s my special guy, how was your first day of school?” Because it’s very standard “teasing is their love language” but I think it comes from a place of Hardison poking the bear so Eliot will know his family isn’t afraid of him. Like, after Eliot knocks half a dozen people unconscious like it’s no big deal, there’s this characteristic reassurance from his family, this, “I know you’re still you.”

[qwanderer]

Never done thinking about The Rashomon Job. Because ok, I think that, on balance, we can assume Eliot and Sophie spent a not insignificant amount of time at that museum gala flirting aggressively with each other (Nate's careful excision of this from his reconstructed version notwithstanding).

We also know that Sophie clearly did not remember/recognise Eliot until he pantomimed his behaviour and accent that night. This tracks for Sophie; she's not a faces person. She notices actions, tones, accents, and above all she notices physical signifiers of social relationships (class, professional, personal etc.). She can be pretty confident, from her own grifting experience, that that's all most other people notice too.

Eliot, on the other hand, is absolutely a faces person. It's something of a recurring bit. There's at least one occasion where he IDs a guy he saw for three seconds. He's a hypervigilant observer with a detailed and well-trained memory ("it's a very distinctive..."). That's part of what gives him an edge (and also must make the occasions where he briefly becomes famous deeply stressful).

(The bit in the opening episode of Redemption S3, were they walk into a party and Sophie notices the decor and dress and Eliot notices all the armed and dangerous security is such a good example of their respective ways of seeing the world.)

Taking all this into consideration, I think we can fairly happily imagine the following: that Eliot Spencer walked into a theatre in LA with an alcohol-soaked insurance investigator, an annoying hacker, and a disconcertingly odd super-thief, and was absolutely baffled to find someone he recognised from that deeply frustrating attempt to steal the dagger of Aqu'abi doing the world's worst Lady Macbeth.

And then she clearly hasn't recognised him, and he's not going to bring it up, because it's just a one time job, and also there's her whole thing with Nate happening right in front of his salad. And then eventually it becomes "wait, this is gold", and he's just sitting on this reveal until that night in the bar.