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r0ttenmawz · 7 days
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Howl truly is the man of all time. He’s a playboy. He’s a malewife. He fell in love with a ninety year old woman. He’s a rugby player. He smells like hyacinths. He’s not a natural blond. When dying his hair went slightly wrong, he filled his home with slime. He has a PhD. He’s a wizard. He found a way to another universe and he told absolutely nobody about it. He makes video games about the magical universe for his nephews. He can’t play the guitar. He always takes a guitar with him when he’s trying to seduce a woman. He’s a self-proclaimed coward. He got drunk to trick himself into doing something dangerous. He overcharges for his services to rich people. He undercharges for his services to poor people. A woman invaded his home and declared herself his cleaning lady and he just let her stay. He loves spiders. He lies about his surname to everyone, including royalty. The true spelling of his first name is Howell, but we don’t find out until halfway through the book because the POV character thinks it’s spelled Howl. He’s even Welsh.
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r0ttenmawz · 11 days
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We gotta start telling people “you don’t actually like TTRPGs you just like critical role” more. Like if somebody joined a martial arts class and kept talking about signature moves and catchphrases and power slams and rivals like its pro wrestling that would be pretty fucking annoying to people who like to practice martial arts right
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r0ttenmawz · 11 days
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what's insane about cesar and other similar trainers is that people will still defend him even after you present them with all the mountains of evidence that his methods dont fucking work
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r0ttenmawz · 11 days
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r0ttenmawz · 11 days
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and this is where I keep my cages full of starving twinks watch this they hate it when I do this *starts smacking the cage with a bat loudly*
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r0ttenmawz · 15 days
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r0ttenmawz · 15 days
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trying something new Ft badgers
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r0ttenmawz · 15 days
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“Why’d you do that?” Please remember that I am using what I’ve seen in humans to mimic them
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r0ttenmawz · 18 days
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r0ttenmawz · 18 days
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this app is literally my public private place to talk to myself
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r0ttenmawz · 18 days
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I saw an image of an advertisement of some sort, black fancy lettering on a white background with an illustration underneath it. As I read the words, I heard a booming voice in my head reading the words out loud: “YOU CANNOT IGNORE THE CALLS OF JESUS ANY LONGER!” The illustration below was of Jesus sitting in an armchair on the telephone saying, “Can I get a pizza, please?” 
I woke up laughing and my laugh woke me up enough to fully awaken.
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r0ttenmawz · 18 days
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i'm baby
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r0ttenmawz · 18 days
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stigmata
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r0ttenmawz · 18 days
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starclans chosen one
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r0ttenmawz · 21 days
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r0ttenmawz · 21 days
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r0ttenmawz · 21 days
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Cherokee Miku from my home state of North Carolina!
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