r3ckl3ss - Tumblr blog

[r3ckl3ss]

Why must parents say they’re proud of their children when they constantly complain that they’re not doing enough????

“Ohh my children are so grown up and amazing! I’m so proud of them!”

Like ma’am you just told me that I’m awful because I don’t have a stable job and that I need to do better????

Why are you so wishy washy????

[r3ckl3ss]

I wonder if people read sad stories because they’re sad or if they’re sad because they’re reading sad stories.

Where is the line drawn?? Like with nature vs. nurture, I believe everyone has a set nature that is ingrained in their entire being, but that that nature can be nurtured into something seemingly different.

I know there’s a difference in the emotions I feel when I read something sad while feeling moderately well and when I’m sad. I am not sure if it has the same answer as nature vs. nurture or if it’s entirely up to the brain and what thoughts are passing by at the time.

If the story provokes a memory or thought of a similar event you experienced, does that strengthen the affect of the emotions the story is representing?? Or are those emotions entirely focused on your own life?

How far does imagination and escapism get us?

Does everything tie back to our reality??

The struggle of never being able to truly escape our perceived reality =_=

[r3ckl3ss]

My roommate’s kids came over and asked if they could eat some ramen. It’s mostly mine seeing as I’m the only one who eats it, so I said sure. We had a whole box of 12 packets and they ate it all in one day. Three people.

I have specific safe foods that I eat and ramen is one of them and they ate all of it. Now I’m over here wondering what I should eat for the foreseeable future until we go to the store.

[r3ckl3ss]

My mom has been trying to make her house look like a gingerbread house for Christmas. Which is far more interesting than anything on our street has.

Everyone on our street has one row of lights around the rim of the house if they even have decorations out. Which is boring but normal.

My grandparents came over and saw the decorations and were just throwing out rude comments like “I would be embarrassed to be next to a neighbor who did this to their house” and “maybe next year you shouldn’t go this far”

That is so mean. The decorations aren’t insane? Like they could be so much more intense but they’re not????? It’s just icing looking things with candy???? At least she’s trying to make it look awesome.

My mom wonders why I don’t want to make presents for them. I don’t think they’d enjoy any art I make unless I make it the most basic, bland, uncreative thing ever.

Christmas is so stressful

[r3ckl3ss]

Finally got back on making the overalls!

Cutting the crotch and trying to expand it ripped out my souls. I had to take a break because I was scared I’d mess it up. I didn’t though!! They fit nicely now without any weird folds.

I’ve literally put my blood sweat and tears into these overalls. I had been reading a sad part in a fic while I sewed and I cried so hard. I can’t wait to wear these dumb things.

I’ve also started to send pictures of all the times I stab myself to my besties because it’s quite frankly hilarious how bad I am at sewing.

[r3ckl3ss]

HERES THE SKIRT I CROCHETED!!!

Finally have pictures of it. It’s so heavy and it spins so nicely!

I had someone model it for me so I could take the pictures I wanted of it. She wanted picture of her pregnant belly in a cute outfit so it’s a win win.

[r3ckl3ss]

I can’t believe I only spent three days out of town but the people exhausted me so much I couldn’t do anything for like a week. I slept for two days straight after getting home and then my sleep schedule got messed up.

I’ve just been laying around listening to music. I’m ashamed to say I wasn’t even able to finish one book. Probably shouldn’t have started with the sad one.

I now have no energy for any of my project or reading but I’m bored. This is an awful existence.

[r3ckl3ss]

I probably shouldn’t have started the sad book first.

I keep stalling so I don’t cry.

Patroclus and Achilles are so cute I can’t

[r3ckl3ss]

My goal of three books my be a bit ambitious.

[r3ckl3ss]

I’m going to my sisters for the weekend, so I’ll hopefully have more energy to work on the overalls when I get back.

I’m being optimistic in bringing three books with me that I’ve been too scared to read for various reasons. Hopefully her children don’t distract me too much.

All my projects right now are pretty widespread with a lot of materials so I can’t actually bring them anywhere. With this fact and the fact I don’t have anything else to do I’m trying to force myself to read books on my physical tbr.

I’ve been on a reading slump for a whillleeee and I wanna get out. I have the song of Achilles, which I haven’t read simply because I’ve read the Iliad and I knew that it would be sad. I haven’t been in the mood for sad, but I will try.

I also have the deck of omens by Christine Lynn Herman. It’s the sequel to the devouring gray and honestly I read the first one solely on vibes and I’ve been scared the vibes of this one won’t be the same. Also afraid my brains changed since reading a lot of stronger/darker/poetic books since I read the first one.

Then I have hidden empire by Kevin J. Anderson that my mother got randomly for like 5 dollars without seeing what it was about. I have absolutely no idea what it’s about.

We’re gonna be taking pictures of my sister wearing the skirt I crocheted so I’m excited to see it on someone else. She’s gonna cut my hair too. I’m excited to see how it turns out even if she messes it up :)

[r3ckl3ss]

Man I have to expand the front of the shorts. I was not prepared to learn how to sew and adjust clothes.

Over here measuring everything. It’s so tiring. Like the added cloth affects how the folds lay so I have to go in and undo the stitching and add fabric.

This is turning out to be one of the most difficult projects I’ve worked on simply because I have to learn new stuff to get close to finishing.

[r3ckl3ss]

I accidentally made them far too detailed and not match. Apparently I shouldn’t watch/listen to my latest obsession or not sleep if I don’t want detailed art.

Which is not something I’ve ever thought I’d need to stop with. Anyway! Now I’m stuck cause my stuff isn’t matching and I wanted to at least have the art sewn on by Thursday. But now the art is too much so I need to make more that are less. If that makes any sense at all.

Also with the fact that I’m stuck that means I can’t sleep well until I get unstuck.

I slept for only 30 mins. I’m gonna cry.

Oh gods and last night I finally slit the sides to expand it and actually started hyperventilating thinking I messed it up.

It’s actually kinda cute. It’s black pieces of cloth with slits between to show skin. I did not mess it up. I think. Hopefully.

[r3ckl3ss]

I am actually starting to like it a little bit, I keep stabbing myself with the needle though, which sucks

Like I’m not even close to done, I’ve barely done the first leg, but idk I laid the pieces I have done out on it and they’re so cute together! A little weird and not all out together but none of my art is ever put together so it’s fine. I still don’t know what I’m gotta do with the big top pocket that’s colored as a flag.

It’s a big pocket so it’s a little weird to have a flag that big on your outfit. Just screaming “‘Merica” as your personality is weird.

The embroidered piece is kinda looking ugly so I might have to redo that. I also made a plain white one with swirls but it’s too bright for what the rest looks like so I might have to scrap it.

I’m kinda getting excited to actually wear them!

[r3ckl3ss]

Over here trying to make some stuff to sew onto the overalls. Gotta cover up the ugly paintings somehow.

I don’t really know what I’m doing but I’m trying to make stuff a little cool/interesting.

It’d be cool to have some art clothes to wear that aren’t just my family’s old hand-me-downs

[r3ckl3ss]

Update: they are my size. I got the beads and pompoms off. The paint is not coming off.

I don’t like the placement of a lot of the stuff though so I need to either cover it with cloth or patches.

I don’t know why I’m actually working on this when I’ve started on a different project as well.

At least each project has downtime. Or like time to dry and stuff.

The other project I’m working on is a jellyfish skeleton thing that will hang from my ceiling. Made out of cans and stuff I have easy access to.

I’m excited!

Ughhhhh gods, my mom found out I had been slowly making punk pants/trash pants and decided that meant I was super into sewing and clothes making. She found these hideous! Absolutely horrendous overalls and told me that I could fix them. I am horrified. They’re painted on with like kindergarten stuff with hot glued Pompoms and beads. Now I feel like I have to at least try because they’re so ugly and I’m semi competent so I should be able to fix them.

I don’t even know if I have anything to get the paint off.

Like obviously I’m gonna paint on them after if I can but this paint is on here thickkkk.

I also have to get the hot glue off.

I’m not even sure they’re my size

[r3ckl3ss]

Ughhhhh gods, my mom found out I had been slowly making punk pants/trash pants and decided that meant I was super into sewing and clothes making. She found these hideous! Absolutely horrendous overalls and told me that I could fix them. I am horrified. They’re painted on with like kindergarten stuff with hot glued Pompoms and beads. Now I feel like I have to at least try because they’re so ugly and I’m semi competent so I should be able to fix them.

I don’t even know if I have anything to get the paint off.

Like obviously I’m gonna paint on them after if I can but this paint is on here thickkkk.

I also have to get the hot glue off.

I’m not even sure they’re my size

[r3ckl3ss]

My brother in law is letting me borrow a bunch of books about psychology and philosophy and I’m so excited. I wish I could write in the book to help me take in information but I like the dynamic of book sharing. I give him and my sibling fiction books and they give me books I’d normally never pick up or even look at.

I really wish I had the ability to take nice notes but my handwriting sucks and I can’t organize my thoughts at all. Also the anxiety of messing up the book or writing something stupid.