raeofdaisies

[raeofdaisies]

I never would've imagine that i will witness my fave's memorial. We're supposed to grew up. I can't believe that i am witnessing a death instead of a wedding. Ever since i was little, i always thought 'who will Liam marry?' i used to dream that i would be that lucky girl, we all think we will right? I am 11 years old when i started loving you, now i am 23 years old and i'm grieving because the child in me just died. A part of me just shattered. My comfort can't even comfort me in this time. Everything hurts. Everything feels heavy. I am so sorry we couldn't protect you. I am so sorry that we can't save you the way that you saved us. Lima bean, Daddy Li, Payno, you'll always be in my heart. This is so heartbreaking. 11 year old me would cry and ditch school. Thank you for the memories. Saying 'rest in peace' hurts me. I can't believe this is happening. Did we just lost someone who makes our childhood happy? I don't even know what i am saying. Words shambles. I love you Liam. Rest in peace. 🕊

-rae stypayholikson

[raeofdaisies]

i know that i can't hide forever.

i know that it will eventually show up.

i know if i keep it all inside it will eat me.

i know it will tear me up.

i know i can't protect them in everything.

i know that i'll rot inside.

i know i need to pick myself.

i know everything.

i know.

[raeofdaisies]

I know how love can change people because i saw it. Not with you but within me.

I used to find love in you. Maybe its in your eyes, in your smile or maybe its in the way you talk. And i can't and i think to myself that maybe you don't love me as much as i love you. I know how it feels to love someone. I know why people do things that they usually don't because of love. Lots of arguements and talk about why i don't feel loved. And i realized something that love can change people. I know love because i can see it in myself. I know love because i am inlove.

Ps: sorry for my grammar.

[raeofdaisies]

how can you love something and be afraid at the same time?

[raeofdaisies]

i am used to silence but struggle with being alone.