rainyjackalope

[rainyjackalope]

[rainyjackalope]

for the record i am prolly not gonna post new sona for like. another month at least :')

I do not foresee having the time to finish all the stuff I wanted to anytime super soon

[rainyjackalope]

i really need help

i've been putting off making a post like this for awhile now out of shame and embarrassment about asking for help, but... it is. truly undeniable that i could use some now.

to keep up with stacking bills i've been working and taking as many commissions as much as possible. on a regular workday i'll draw for an average of 6 - 8 hours a day, and it is quickly becoming apparent my wrist can not keep up with that kind of strain. on top of that, i've got a defunct car (forcing me + my disabled household to mostly get around via public transit & walking,) cavities that are giving me jaw pain, residual mold poisoning, and taxes that drained what little savings i had managed to amass. AND. the mental strain that comes with.... all of that.

i have been making massive strides in other areas of my life- finding ways to stay positive and hold onto hope- despite my depression and anxiety surrounding the entire situation. a little boost to get me back on my paws would quite literally change my life.

if you can spare anything, spare it here: square paypal venmo @ cowdragons or if want something for your generosity: i have furry bases on kofi

reblogs & shares immensely appreciated.

[rainyjackalope]

I don't post a lot of doodles here but you can have this anyways

[rainyjackalope]

lil doodle for my beloved

[rainyjackalope]

I am reblogging because of Trans Day of Visibility, but I also just wanted to say it has recently been 4 months on HRT for me and I went from feeling miserable about existing and like I was detached from my own body to feeling more in tune with myself than I have ever felt in my life. Every day that I find more hair or a bit more muscle definition is a joy, and I have never felt closer to really fully being me.

I'm starting hrt today so I wanted to commemorate it with a drawing

[rainyjackalope]

People grow and change! And sometimes how we show ourselves to the world has to change too. It's nothing to feel guilty about, and you're not throwing away the history with your old avatar. You can acknowledge and move forward, looking back fondly.

Several years ago I switched my main species from cat to rabbit. There were several reasons for this change, but looking back now, I'm definitely not that same person who was showing the cat to the world; rabbit fits me so much better.

Except now that it doesn't. Transitioning, and going through my own journey as a gender fluid person made me realize that having multiple fursonas is a better way for me to express where I am on the gender spectrum in any given day.

What I'm getting at is life is a journey, and you're going to change on that journey, and it is wonderful and fantastic. There's nothing that says you are avatar can't change along with you.

Head up, chest out. You got this. And it seems like you've got a really great community here to support you as well.

Absolutely! Well said. I try not to feel too bad, especially having experience with making radical shifts in how I present myself anyways with gender stuff, but I guess more than anything I feel kind of sad for myself that I've changed to where they don't fit anymore after being with them for so long. Which is logically silly of course, ultimately it's pretty cool to change so drastically and move on to new things and continue pursuing what makes one happiest even if it's different from what it used to be. I think a lot of people aren't as happy as they could be specifically because they refuse to change and adapt to their own needs.

But thank you for the lovely response! I feel weird about the whole thing at the moment because it almost feels like I'm grieving a different me a little bit, but I will carry on happier as a result for sure. A lot of this is specifically about my transition too. Rainy is who I've had the whole time I've been agender but was too scared to push further into transitioning more completely or changing my presentation 'too drastically' and it feels like that mental place is kind of stuck on them for me. Like I can't carry them with me into the next place I'm going. They're like a moment of my life captured in amber, much like my first fursona is for my teen years. Applying who I am now to them feels...weirdly wrong, somehow. But it'll all be just fine in the end =) I love them always, but just need a different muse for a different time.

[rainyjackalope]

everyone's been so nice about the sona change.....I have cried like 3 or 4 times today

[rainyjackalope]

One last drawing of the bunny as a little tribute to them. (If you're confused, see my previous post.)

TLDR: I love them and will allow myself to still draw them and use them as a fursona if I ever want to, but lately I haven't really wanted to as often and am giving myself permission to try something else. But they will always mean a lot to me!

And thank you everyone that has ever been nice about them and drawn them and expressed fondness for them in any capacity!!

[rainyjackalope]

Heya. Bit of an announcement incoming.

In recent weeks, I've done a lot of introspection and a acquired a newer understanding of myself that continues even now, but it led me to a conclusion that hurt to realize and yet is sort of freeing for me.

I've had the same main fursona/mascot for eight years now!! That's a really long time to stick with a character, and I did so for a reason. I think they're my longest-lived fursona that has been in active rotation the whole time and got drawn often. I love them to bits. I will never stop loving them to bits. They helped me with a lot and for a very long time they felt the most me that a character could be. I could not think of a design that was more me through it all.

However, about a year or two ago I've been struggling with my sense of self in personal ways I won't get too into. And ever since starting HRT especially, I've learned a lot.

Now when I look at them, I don't really see myself as clearly. Now when people call me Rainy, I don't really feel like they're addressing me. It doesn't fit how I see myself anymore or who I know myself to be right now. I decided just over a week ago that there was a reason for it, and that maybe it's time to put them in the background. I have little desire to draw them as often anymore, and I feel kind of sad when I try.

Fittingly, today marks exactly 8 years since I posted their initial design. This is entirely a coincidence in that I only realized it would be coming up last week. That honestly made me sadder, but felt even more like a sign of some sort.

I made a little slideshow of most of the art I posted of them to a song that means a lot to me as a sort of 'parting' gift, if you want to see them over the years. Bit of a rapid image warning as some of them go by fairly fast, but no intense strobes or effects were added.

I am not getting rid of them, and I am not even saying they're being completely left behind. I think the way I see them right now is as a secondary fursona, so if anything they're more just joining the ranks of the other characters I don't draw as consistently but still love and keep around.

I'm just being dramatic about it because it feels like a major change for me, but I am also excited to see what happens next.

sorry

[rainyjackalope]

I partially haven't been posting almost anything because I can't figure out like. What I'm doing

I can't figure out what I want for my current characters or myself so I haven't been wanting to share much while I try to decide

[rainyjackalope]

It's Valentine's Day which is good and fun and all but what I'm really celebrating is 14 years of knowing my partner!!!!!

[rainyjackalope]

vitri is living the best life and i envy it

they used to work a fast food job and live a mundane life like anyone else and you're tellin me their average unassuming ass gets an interdimensional being to fall in love with them and take them on adventures across universes and they never have to work a day in their life ever again? they get to be adored and loved and snuggled all the time and also get to see things like black holes and sky islands and quaint little towns and they don't ever have to worry about money?

happy for them........

[rainyjackalope]

lil fella for @gr8gamer :D

[rainyjackalope]

they have been Appreciated

[rainyjackalope]

howdy. it's been a hot second, but i'm opening commissions once again!

I will draw:

humanoids furries chibi fan art original characters mild gore

I will not draw:

in other artists art style realism or painterly style hate content real person ship art

I will attempt to draw for a discount (30% off):

nsfw mecha armor

you're always welcome to dm or email me too if you're unsure which category your request might fall into.

here is my commission form. here are examples of the types of comms i offer. here are my Terms of Service.

i currently have 5 slots open.

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[rainyjackalope]

I love when I post colored sketches and people are like 'ooooh the lines oooh the textures' because I'm like oh you like when I put less effort into cleaning things up and making them smooth and fancy huh 👀