rainyyz

[rainyyz]

Every story has an ending

Every book has a last page

My story is ending as well

Today I am reading the last page of my life

[rainyyz]

Feeling so trapped

My fingers going through the soil

Touching the nature with my hands

Connecting to the nature

I am at peace

Crying

And I am again trapped

Dreaming of planting seeds in the soil

Creating new life

My mind is racing

I don't want to feel like this anymore

[rainyyz]

If I confess that I don't feel good

Well, it's apparently very wrong

I am supposed to feel amazing every day

Is that possible?

Is that real life?

Confused again

It looks like being fake is something normal

How long should I pretend?

I already pretended 17 years

[rainyyz]

Judged again for expressing my feelings

People love hearing only optimistic things

False hope

Different people are forever outsiders

I don't understand anything anymore

Fog

[rainyyz]

It's my 3 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[rainyyz]

A moment, a love, a dream, aloud. A kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs

[rainyyz]

I am grateful

I had a life which many people would be happy to live

I had home, clothes, money, food.

I want to say again how much I appreciate these things

Now... let's start talking about the pain

The pain of anxiety, loneliness, very low self esteem, the pain when you have suicidal thoughts for so many years

Freedom, Friends, Career, Love things I always desired.

Broken hopes

Desperation

I don't live, I just exist

There is no point to continue

I don't know what else to say

I just know that I was born a loser and I will die a loser

Well, at least I witnessed Messi winning the World cup

So many thoughts right now

But I don't know what to say

There is nothing to say... maybe

It can't be described with words

It's a feeling

And I feel a lot... maybe too much

I know everyone would be better without me

Don't feel bad about me, I don't deserve it

My wish is someone to put white flowers in my grave

I mean...yeah

That's it

But my story doesn't end

That's only the beginning of feeling free without anxiety

I want to talk about Love

Love is around us and people should unite and support each other

Love ... something I didn't know what it means... Or maybe I did

It doesn't matter anymore

Love is us, we are love

[rainyyz]

Can I please ask you for a free tarot reading or psychic reading or intuitive?

It's very important. I really need guidance. Please if you agree write me on my DM.

Please 🥺🙏

[rainyyz]

Tomorrow

March 15th

Or another date

Soon

Ready to do it

Maybe I am not

I am a coward

Nobody is ready

..................................................................

I have to try again

I am ashamed of myself

Good memories

Unforgettable experiences

Lost hopes

..................................................................

Calmness

Night

Moon

..................................................................

My chosen music at the background

...................................................................

Bag

Head

Breath

Again

Another try

Another escape

................................................................

I hope I am finally free

[rainyyz]

A tree

Leafs fall down

......................................

Anyone

Just Anyone

[rainyyz]

Only

[rainyyz]

Sea

Depth

Emptiness

Cold

Melancholy

Beautiful

Depression

Wind

Loneliness

Sky

[rainyyz]

Just body floating in the water

Dead look, Dead stare, Just ice

No feelings, No anxiety, I am ok

Rains and I still float, Is this real?

[rainyyz]

Breathing air

Do I deserve it?

[rainyyz]

Trapped mind and thoughts

Stagnation

[rainyyz]

There's no going back

Everything is done

[rainyyz]

Scent of rain