raisedbywasps

[raisedbywasps]

[raisedbywasps]

screaming

[raisedbywasps]

GUYS PEWDIEPIE DELTED HIS YOUTUBE CHANNEL AHSJDHDJX

[raisedbywasps]

When I first encountered “FTW,” I thought it meant “Fuck The What??” in the same way as key-smashing to express surprise/disgust. It took an embarrassingly long time for me to figure out my mistake.

It just occurred to me that multiple distinct permutation of the letters “F”, “T” and “W” are associated with bits of popular Internet slang.

FTW = For The Win

TFW = That Feel When

WTF = What The Fuck

I’m half-tempted to try and popularise phrases that initialise to FWT, TWF and WFT so every possible permutation is covered.

[raisedbywasps]

To anyone who’s thinking this way

[raisedbywasps]

October can’t come soon enough

[raisedbywasps]

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That’s my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again.”

[raisedbywasps]

[raisedbywasps]

Alright I'll bite. Who's Talos

[raisedbywasps]

i’m smarter than every doctor and scientist in the world, but can you please break down the correct dosage of horse paste to feed my sick husband in kindergarten terms

[raisedbywasps]

the older I get the more dog I become

[raisedbywasps]

POV: you’re Gollum on the steps to Shelob’s lair and have HAD it with Sam.

[raisedbywasps]

Did this while sneaking ice cream in the kitchen just now. Would’ve been the perfect time for a vampire to crash through the window but 🤷‍♀️ alas

i love walking around my house at night wearing a too small tshirt and underwear it makes me feel like the slutty girl who dies first in a horror movie

[raisedbywasps]

[raisedbywasps]

[raisedbywasps]