raising-yourself

[raising-yourself]

Do you know when's the last time your kids had a bath? Maybe tonight you should introduce them to how it will go with you. I know that you intend to move to somewhere with more space soon, but giving them more structure and ideas on what to expect day to day will still make things easier for all of you, even if it's temporary due to your living situation

I intend to keep an eye on you, if that's okay. I'll sign my messages from now on, so that you know it's me. I'll just go by A.

- A

"...my...? Oh, of course. I've been calling them 'the kids,' but they are... my kids... Um... Right, we should probably do baths tonight. How often are you supposed to bathe little kids?" She quickly looks something up on her phone. "I think... every other day should be good. So that'll be something they can know to expect.

"Thanks for the advice." Dawn really wants someone to just tell her what to do. "I would love to keep hearing from you."

[raising-yourself]

Just a heads up: earlier, when Amelia was telling us how much better your place is than the lab they were raised in, they mentioned that they can go outside even if you don't allow it because you don't lock the doors

"Good to know. Hopefully knowing that I'll let them outside will stop them from running off the second I look away... I'm glad they like my place better than the lab. I don't think the other two could say the same.

"I definitely want to make sure none of the kids feel trapped with me... even though they kind of are. But they're less trapped than they were in the lab. I want them to know that. I hope Amelia doesn't feel the need to sneak off when they could just talk to me."

[raising-yourself]

I don't feel like enough people are appricating how well you're handling this! If I suddenly had to take care of three kids there would be a lot more tears and frustration

"...Thank you. I don't think I'm doing very well, but... it could be worse."

She lets the kids pick what they want from the menu, including sodas and shakes. She tries to shake off the voice in the back of her head scolding her for 'encouraging unhealthy eating.' If being rescued from the lab you were raised in and having your whole world turned upside down isn't a good enough reason to get a treat, what is?

She initially doesn't plan on getting anything for herself, but D2C asks if that means this food is for clones and not people, so she gets herself a burger. If suddenly having three kids to take care of with no warning or chance to prepare isn't a good enough reason to get a treat, what is?

The kids are too excited to wait until they get back to the park to eat, so they all eat at one of the tables outside instead.

The intensity of flavor seems to be a bit overwhelming to them, but they seem to be having a good time regardless. The soda seems to particularly fascinate them.

Hopefully all of this doesn’t make them sick… Dawn is such a shitty parent. These poor kids are barely going to be better off with her than with the doctors.

When they’re done eating, Dawn takes them back to the park, as promised. She shows them how to use the swingset, and they all seem to really enjoy that. They all always drag their feet whenever they start to get momentum, too afraid to fully commit.

[raising-yourself]

If you're able to separate the two older ones at any point, you probably should. They reinforce the belief that they're not people to each other. Obviously don't keep them separated all the time, or even often, but I think they'll be the most receptive to things that contradict their upbringing if you're with them one on one

“I can’t hurt you? What do you mean?”

“We’re not people, we’re clones.” D1H sounds exasperated.

“What does that have to do with being hurt?”

“She’s not going to understand.” D2C says.

D1H sighs and doesn’t say anything else. Dawn feels similarly.

Dawn reads the message once she gets to the fast food place. “That’s a good idea, but I don’t know when I’d be able to do that. Maybe once we have more space?”

[raising-yourself]

Their words or not, they're right that it's not their job to keep you from being scared. They're also right that they'd probably be fine staying at the park without supervision for a bit, and even if they weren't, do you really want to scare them into coming with you?

Maybe tell them about how fun getting food is going to be? They like listening to the radio, right? And I'm sure they'll enjoy getting to choose their lunch for themself

You can't make me

Dawn isn't sure if that's true or not. She could probably drag Amelia to the car and even get to the fast food place, but if Amelia was trying to get away the whole time it would make getting the food near impossible.

That's very different from how things were for Amelia before, isn't it? They were very outnumbered in the lab.

Dawn reads the message that pops up on her phone. That's a good idea.

"You're right, I can't make you. That... that probably feels pretty great, huh?"

Amelia's glare softens into surprise.

"I'm not going to be like the doctors. I just want what's best for you, I'm not-- I don't want to get in a power struggle with you, I don't want to prove I can control you, I'm not just trying to force you to do things you don't want for the sake of it. You like the radio, right? We can listen to the radio, and I can roll the windows down so that you can feel the wind if you want. Hey, do you want me to show you how the windows in the car work? I bet you've never seen anything like that before."

There's no harm in letting the kids play with the windows, right? She can't think of any way it would hurt...

Whether because of Dawn's pleading or just curiosity about the windows, Amelia follows Dawn to the car. The other kids do, too, still extremely tense.

Amelia's eyes widen when Dawn shows them how to make the windows go up and down. They remain entranced through the entire ride, barely even seeming to notice the music from the radio.

"Are you two okay?" Dawn asks D1H and D2C.

They nod in unison.

"You know I would never hurt any of you, right?"

"We're clones," D1H says. "You can't hurt us."

[raising-yourself]

It's a good sign that she's willing to argue with you. Don't squash it out, make sure she knows you care about her perspective and feelings

Again, Dawn skims the message on her phone.

She takes a deep breath. Wasn't she just complaining that she was worried the kids wouldn't tell her if they were hungry? Amelia is telling Dawn how she feels, loud and clear. That's good.

"I'm glad that you've told me that you want to stay at the park. It makes sense that you want that. Can you... do you not believe me, that we'll come back?"

Amelia crosses their arms and pouts even harder. "You can't make me!"

"I'm not trying to make you."

[raising-yourself]

Maybe bring up that you'll have to leave the park eventually? Idk

Dawn's eyes flicker to her phone. She shouldn't be relying on strangers from another universe for parenting advice, but what else can she do?

"We have to leave the park eventually, right?"

"No!"

"...we do. When do you want to leave?" That's supposed to be a thing, right? Giving kids choices? "We could leave right now to go get food, or we could leave in ten minutes to go get food. What do you think?"

"YOU leave, WE stay!"

D1H and D2C watch Dawn closely, petrified.

[raising-yourself]

I don't think that's a good idea

"You need to come with me while I get us food," Dawn says. "We'll come right back to the park afterwards, I promise. I'm just worried about you getting hurt without me here to supervise."

"I won't get hurt!" Amelia clenches their little fists and pouts.

"No one ever thinks they're going to get hurt, right?" Actually, that might not apply to these kids. "You can't always know, that's why it's good to have an adult there to help if you need it."

"There are adults here!!"

How many arguments like this did Dawn have when she was Amelia's age? She remembers the frustration of adults insisting they knew better for reasons that made no sense, even if she doesn't remember the exact content of any of the arguments. What would she have wanted to hear?

"Please? I'm scared that you'll get hurt, and it would really help me if you came with me."

Amelia tilts their head. "It's not my job to stop you from being scared. Follow my in-struc-ins or there will be con-a-quen-es."

Those clearly aren't Amelia's words. "Hey..."

Dawn is at a loss for words. Amelia isn't a tiny Dawn, so Dawn has no idea what they need to hear

[raising-yourself]

Are you trying to bribe them into liking you with fast food?

"No! I just... I want them to get to enjoy things that they couldn't have before. Normal kid things that they were robbed of. I think I'll just ask them."

She calls the kids over. "Are you guys hungry?"

They seem confused by the question.

"Is it mealtime?" D1H asks.

"It is if you're hungry." She's probably not going to get very far with this today, but it's good to plant the seeds for the idea that their feelings are important.

"If we're not hungry we can stay outside?" Amelia asks.

"You don't have to choose between food and playing outside. I was thinking we'd get some food from a fast food place and eat it here, does that sound good?"

Amelia nods. "You should go get food, and we'll stay here."

[raising-yourself]

You should probably get the kids some lunch soon

"Right, it's about that time, isn't it? We were shopping for quite a bit. I wish I could just wait until they say they're hungry, but... I don't know if they would tell me. I wonder... Would I be a bad guardian if I introduced them to fast food? There's no way they've had that before, right?"

[raising-yourself]

Why haven't you had contact with your family, Dawn?

"Just, y'know. The normal reasons."

She doesn't elaborate further

[raising-yourself]

Did they ever interact with any kids before they were freed? I'm worried this is going to be too overwhelming for them :(

"...I don't think so. They only met each other after the whole thing became public, and none of the reports I've read made it sound like they ever interacted with other kids. But they look fine. I'm keeping an eye out."

Amelia is thriving in the company of other kids, while the other two keep to themselves

[raising-yourself]

How are they doing on the playground? I doubt they've seen one before

Dawn seems relieved as the focus shifts away from her.

Amelia has joined a game of tag with other kids. They're definitely the slowest of the lot, and spend the large majority of their time playing as 'it,' but they seem to be having fun.

"I wonder if they've ever run before," Dawn says. "If they have, it's certainly been in smaller spaces than this."

The other two are more hesitant. They watch other kids play and whisper to each other, and it takes a long time for either of them to even try a slide.

None of this is familiar to them. They don't engage with any part of the playground without seeing another kid do it first.

"You're right. This must be their first playground."

[raising-yourself]

You said no one you interact with regularly knows, does that mean that you don't have any friends or family you trust?

"...I don't know. I guess not. I haven't had contact with my family for years, and my only friends are through work."

She glances around the park. There are plenty of parents she could talk to, though not about the cloning. It wouldn't be hard to make friends. There's clearly a gap in that area of her life if she can't trust anyone with the news of suddenly having three kids under her care, so she needs to try to remedy that.

Still, she doesn't approach anyone. The kids need to be closely supervised. She shouldn't get distracted.

[raising-yourself]

Why is there so much controversy about what to do with the kids?

Dawn frowns. "I don't know why, other than that a lot of people think them being clones makes them fundamentally different from non-clones. There's talk of treating them like property, legally, since they're made from stolen DNA. And..." Her frown deepens. "There's talk of killing them. For lots of reasons, ranging from that they're 'abominations to god' to the idea that it would be better for them to just be killed. All of it's bullshit."

[raising-yourself]

With the discovery of these experiments being so public, have you had press bothering you? Do people treat you different?

"They were actually pretty good about the privacy of the people whose DNA was used. I'm sure it's possible to find out that stuff if you look in the right places, but it's not easily accessible knowledge. Some have been very open with the press, doing interviews and everything, so hopefully that satiates them enough that they don't want to dig for the rest.

"As for people treating me differently... like I said, most people don't know. No one that I interact with regularly knows. I'm not sure how things would change if they did. There's a lot of controversy about what should be done with the kids, but I think the general attitude towards the people whose DNA was used is pity."

[raising-yourself]

How are you doing, Dawn? There’s been a lot of focus on the kids, but this seems like a big change for you too

Dawn sighs. “I’m okay. It’s weird, having them here. I remember being their ages, and we’re so similar… but maybe all parents feel like that.

“I remember being six and being so sure of myself, and I remember growing older and getting quieter. They’ve had such different experiences from me, and yet, that’s stayed the same. I’d bet anything they were just like Amelia when they were six.”

Dawn watches them play. “I didn’t want to be a parent.” She confesses. “But I couldn’t just let the people who did this to them decide what would happen to them. So now I’m a single mom of three kids, overnight… it’s hard. But it’s harder for them.”